1
00:00:06,309 --> 00:00:07,746
Is it my turn?

2
00:00:07,876 --> 00:00:09,400
No, we're still waiting
for Calvin to play.

3
00:00:09,531 --> 00:00:11,445
Okay, uh, stop rushing me.

4
00:00:11,576 --> 00:00:14,622
Dave took like ten minutes
to put down the word "cat."

5
00:00:14,753 --> 00:00:17,277
Well, I was one letter away
from "catnip,"

6
00:00:17,408 --> 00:00:19,454
but all I had
was this blank tile.

7
00:00:21,672 --> 00:00:23,457
Damn it!

8
00:00:24,414 --> 00:00:26,068
Okay, all right, here we go.

9
00:00:26,199 --> 00:00:28,724
Here we go right here. F-I...

10
00:00:28,853 --> 00:00:32,118
N-N-A.

11
00:00:32,249 --> 00:00:35,078
Boom. Triple word score.

12
00:00:35,209 --> 00:00:37,862
[laughs]"Finna"?

13
00:00:37,993 --> 00:00:39,343
What's "finna"?

14
00:00:39,473 --> 00:00:40,779
You know, as in,

15
00:00:40,909 --> 00:00:43,695
"I'm finna get
38 points for that word."

16
00:00:43,826 --> 00:00:45,957
[mutters softly]

17
00:00:46,088 --> 00:00:49,265
I'm pretty sure "finna"
isn't in the dictionary.

18
00:00:51,442 --> 00:00:52,965
Well, Black people
say it all the time,

19
00:00:53,095 --> 00:00:55,402
so if it's not,
your dictionary's racist.

20
00:00:55,533 --> 00:00:57,405
Boom, triple word score.

21
00:01:00,234 --> 00:01:01,670
Ah...

22
00:01:01,799 --> 00:01:03,149
What's wrong?

23
00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:04,846
I'm having some problems
with my wrist lately.

24
00:01:04,977 --> 00:01:06,414
I think I might
have carpal tunnel.

25
00:01:06,543 --> 00:01:09,069
Damn it. I could've
played "carpal," too.

26
00:01:11,027 --> 00:01:13,724
Dave, if your wrist hurts,
you should see my doctor.

27
00:01:13,855 --> 00:01:15,379
Dr. Richards is like family.

28
00:01:15,510 --> 00:01:18,251
Calvin, Dr. Richards
died nine years ago.

29
00:01:18,382 --> 00:01:20,557
He did?

30
00:01:20,688 --> 00:01:23,778
Well, let that be a lesson.
Don't let family drift apart.

31
00:01:23,908 --> 00:01:26,042
Seriously, Calvin?

32
00:01:26,173 --> 00:01:27,956
You haven't seen a
doctor in nine years?

33
00:01:28,087 --> 00:01:29,305
TINA:
No. I've been
begging him

34
00:01:29,436 --> 00:01:31,091
to get a physical
for the longest time,

35
00:01:31,221 --> 00:01:32,265
but he just won't go.

36
00:01:32,396 --> 00:01:33,701
That's because I don't need to.

37
00:01:33,831 --> 00:01:35,269
Look, I'm so healthy,

38
00:01:35,399 --> 00:01:38,402
I already outlived my doctor
by nine years.

39
00:01:39,795 --> 00:01:41,840
Calvin, you should
really listen to Tina.

40
00:01:41,971 --> 00:01:43,450
You know,
your health is important.

41
00:01:43,581 --> 00:01:46,235
If I were you, I would
definitely be finna to go.

42
00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:51,849
Gemma, you're right.
It's not a word.

43
00:01:53,722 --> 00:01:55,549
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪

44
00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:56,985
♪ Welcome to the hood.

45
00:02:01,424 --> 00:02:03,340
Oh, hey, Calvin.Hey, Dave.

46
00:02:03,471 --> 00:02:04,819
What do you got there?

47
00:02:04,950 --> 00:02:06,647
Oh, just some of my old
juggling clubs.

48
00:02:06,778 --> 00:02:09,737
You know, I would say I didn't
know you juggled, but deep down,

49
00:02:09,867 --> 00:02:12,436
I think I did.

50
00:02:12,567 --> 00:02:13,698
Well, I haven't done it
in years,

51
00:02:13,829 --> 00:02:15,438
so I might be a little rusty.

52
00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:17,137
But I figured, hey, what's
the worst that could happen?

53
00:02:17,266 --> 00:02:19,835
I don't know,
but whatever it is,

54
00:02:19,965 --> 00:02:22,316
I am definitely
getting it on video.

55
00:02:22,445 --> 00:02:24,360
Just got to do one last thing.

56
00:02:24,491 --> 00:02:27,015
Whoa. Whoa,
you're setting them on fire?

57
00:02:27,146 --> 00:02:28,887
I thought you said
you hadn't juggled in years.

58
00:02:29,018 --> 00:02:30,801
That's crazy.

59
00:02:30,932 --> 00:02:32,281
Well, maybe,
but not half as crazy

60
00:02:32,413 --> 00:02:34,110
as skipping the doctor
for nine years.

61
00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:37,418
So I guess you could say
we're both playing with fire.

62
00:02:37,548 --> 00:02:41,073
Oh, okay.
So that's what this is about.

63
00:02:41,812 --> 00:02:43,379
You know what? I take it back.

64
00:02:43,510 --> 00:02:45,860
Go ahead.
Roast your marshmallows.

65
00:02:45,990 --> 00:02:48,472
Okay.

66
00:02:48,603 --> 00:02:50,170
Calvin, I'm serious.

67
00:02:50,300 --> 00:02:52,084
You got to go
to the doctor every year.

68
00:02:52,215 --> 00:02:53,477
It's really important.

69
00:02:53,608 --> 00:02:55,218
Dave, I'm fine.

70
00:02:55,348 --> 00:02:56,784
I treat my body like a temple.

71
00:02:56,914 --> 00:02:59,048
It's probably why
so many people worship me.

72
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:02,573
Okay, I guess Tina was right.
You won't listen to reason.

73
00:03:02,704 --> 00:03:04,401
So it looks like
I'm gonna have to try

74
00:03:04,532 --> 00:03:06,055
something else
to get you to do it.

75
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,187
What?
Embarrass you.

76
00:03:08,318 --> 00:03:09,972
If you don't go to the doctor,
I'm gonna make a T-shirt

77
00:03:10,102 --> 00:03:11,800
that says
"Calvin is my best friend,"

78
00:03:11,930 --> 00:03:13,758
and I'm gonna wear it
wherever we go.

79
00:03:13,889 --> 00:03:15,933
Eh, you wouldn't.I already did.

80
00:03:18,459 --> 00:03:20,417
How'd you get that made so fast?

81
00:03:20,548 --> 00:03:22,419
You just found out
about this last night.

82
00:03:22,550 --> 00:03:24,204
Actually, I've had it
for a while.

83
00:03:24,334 --> 00:03:26,683
I had it made
for our upcoming friendiversary.

84
00:03:27,685 --> 00:03:29,121
Just picture it, Calvin.

85
00:03:29,252 --> 00:03:31,122
You're in the barber shop
holding court,

86
00:03:31,253 --> 00:03:33,561
I stroll in wearing this.

87
00:03:33,691 --> 00:03:37,390
So what? I've been the big dog
around here a long time.

88
00:03:37,521 --> 00:03:40,175
It'll take more than
a T-shirt to bring me down.

89
00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:43,091
I figured you'd say that, which
is why I made it a tank top.

90
00:03:44,746 --> 00:03:46,008
Okay, you know what?
Fine.

91
00:03:46,138 --> 00:03:48,444
I'll go.

92
00:03:48,575 --> 00:03:50,055
But if Dr. Richards
wasn't already dead,

93
00:03:50,186 --> 00:03:51,405
this would've killed him.

94
00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:56,018
Hey, here you go, bro.

95
00:03:56,147 --> 00:03:59,021
[laughs]Oh, man, it doesn't get
any better than this.

96
00:03:59,151 --> 00:04:01,283
Two grown men,
making it on our own,

97
00:04:01,414 --> 00:04:03,721
living our independent lives.

98
00:04:03,852 --> 00:04:06,462
Marty, we live 60 feet
from Mom and Pop's house.

99
00:04:06,593 --> 00:04:08,290
Exactly.

100
00:04:08,421 --> 00:04:10,250
It's far enough away
to be independent

101
00:04:10,379 --> 00:04:12,252
but close enough
to steal their Wi-Fi.

102
00:04:12,382 --> 00:04:13,426
[knocking on door]

103
00:04:13,556 --> 00:04:14,731
See? Okay.
I see. Yeah.

104
00:04:14,862 --> 00:04:16,343
Yo.

105
00:04:16,473 --> 00:04:18,082
Hey, little man.MARTY: Hey.

106
00:04:18,213 --> 00:04:19,519
What's up? Come on in.

107
00:04:19,649 --> 00:04:21,435
We're having career day
at my school.

108
00:04:21,564 --> 00:04:25,394
Since my dad came last year
and my mom's the principal,

109
00:04:25,526 --> 00:04:28,877
and you have such an awesome job
at JPL, I thought I'd ask you.

110
00:04:29,007 --> 00:04:31,706
Well, your friendly
neighborhood rocket scientist

111
00:04:31,836 --> 00:04:34,360
gladly accepts your invitation.

112
00:04:34,490 --> 00:04:36,971
Oh, I was actually
talking to Malcolm.

113
00:04:37,101 --> 00:04:39,540
[laughs]
What?

114
00:04:39,670 --> 00:04:41,281
But Malcolm's
just a security guard.

115
00:04:41,411 --> 00:04:44,021
Uh, yeah, a security guard
who just watched you

116
00:04:44,153 --> 00:04:46,415
blow up on takeoff.What...?

117
00:04:47,634 --> 00:04:49,071
Yeah, but that,
that makes no sense.

118
00:04:49,201 --> 00:04:50,463
Why would you want him
instead of me?

119
00:04:50,593 --> 00:04:52,987
Because security guards
are cool.

120
00:04:53,117 --> 00:04:55,947
They've got uniforms
and handcuffs,

121
00:04:56,077 --> 00:04:58,384
and he takes down
bad guys, right?

122
00:04:58,514 --> 00:05:00,387
Well, you know, uh,

123
00:05:00,516 --> 00:05:02,911
I do what I got to do.

124
00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:05,608
Yeah, and what you got to do
is check I.D.'s

125
00:05:05,740 --> 00:05:07,175
and let the pizza guy
up the elevator.

126
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,612
[chuckles]
And just for that, from now on,

127
00:05:09,744 --> 00:05:12,747
the only lunch
I'm letting up is salad.[gasps]

128
00:05:12,877 --> 00:05:15,444
Whoa, guys, I didn't mean
to start a fight.

129
00:05:15,576 --> 00:05:17,620
Look, Marty, if you want to,
you can come, too.

130
00:05:17,752 --> 00:05:18,882
Yes! [laughs]

131
00:05:19,014 --> 00:05:20,668
I'm gonna get started right now.

132
00:05:20,798 --> 00:05:23,670
You guys are gonna see just
how fun math and science can be!

133
00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:25,846
Great.

134
00:05:27,630 --> 00:05:30,894
If he gets too boring,
you do what you got to do.

135
00:05:35,159 --> 00:05:38,338
Well, I hope he has better news
for me than he had for you.

136
00:05:39,774 --> 00:05:41,731
Okay, Mr. Butler,

137
00:05:41,862 --> 00:05:44,822
I have the results from
your physical, and...

138
00:05:44,952 --> 00:05:46,302
You know what? I'm fine.

139
00:05:46,432 --> 00:05:48,348
I don't care
what your stupid test says.

140
00:05:48,478 --> 00:05:50,697
Actually, they say
you're in amazing health.

141
00:05:50,827 --> 00:05:54,353
Oh, well, tests don't lie.

142
00:05:54,483 --> 00:05:57,834
I told you he's a good doctor.
You should've listened to him.

143
00:05:57,966 --> 00:06:00,795
Your cholesterol is good,
your blood pressure is low--

144
00:06:00,925 --> 00:06:02,404
all your numbers look great.

145
00:06:02,536 --> 00:06:04,189
Huh. Terrific.

146
00:06:04,319 --> 00:06:06,322
Now all we've got to do is
schedule your colonoscopy.

147
00:06:06,452 --> 00:06:08,629
Uh, say what, now?

148
00:06:08,759 --> 00:06:11,196
Your colonoscopy?
When it comes to colon cancer,

149
00:06:11,326 --> 00:06:13,154
early detection
can save your life.

150
00:06:13,285 --> 00:06:15,461
It's standard procedure
for anyone over 45.

151
00:06:15,591 --> 00:06:17,507
Well, great, so there's no rush.

152
00:06:17,637 --> 00:06:19,379
I plan on being over 45

153
00:06:19,509 --> 00:06:22,425
the rest of my life.

154
00:06:22,555 --> 00:06:25,514
Look, I know the idea makes
a lot of men uncomfortable,

155
00:06:25,646 --> 00:06:27,865
but trust me,
it's not a big deal.

156
00:06:27,995 --> 00:06:30,084
First, you'll be put to sleep.

157
00:06:30,214 --> 00:06:34,437
Then we insert a small camera
into the rectum.

158
00:06:35,699 --> 00:06:36,918
From there, it travels

159
00:06:37,048 --> 00:06:38,701
through your large intestine,

160
00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:40,442
then it zigs and it zags

161
00:06:40,574 --> 00:06:43,663
deeper and deeper
all the way

162
00:06:43,793 --> 00:06:45,622
up here into your
small intestine,

163
00:06:45,752 --> 00:06:47,276
taking pictures along the way.

164
00:06:48,538 --> 00:06:50,235
Then we just
reel it back in, and...

165
00:06:50,365 --> 00:06:52,716
[pops]
...out pops the camera.

166
00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:55,850
Well, that all
sounds delightful,

167
00:06:55,980 --> 00:06:58,112
but, um... [pops]

168
00:06:58,242 --> 00:06:59,680
that's a hard pass.

169
00:07:02,334 --> 00:07:03,987
[sighs]
Hey, man.

170
00:07:04,119 --> 00:07:05,728
Oh, hey, Malcolm.

171
00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:07,730
Whoa, what is under there?

172
00:07:07,862 --> 00:07:09,166
Uh, Marty?

173
00:07:09,298 --> 00:07:10,821
If it's another Lego Death Star,

174
00:07:10,951 --> 00:07:12,822
you don't need to hide it
from me, man.

175
00:07:12,954 --> 00:07:14,956
I already know you're a dork.

176
00:07:15,086 --> 00:07:18,175
For your information, that
was not the Death Star.

177
00:07:18,307 --> 00:07:19,786
That was the planet Tatooine.

178
00:07:19,917 --> 00:07:21,615
Okay? So who's the dork now?

179
00:07:21,745 --> 00:07:23,834
Right, okay, so, uh,

180
00:07:23,964 --> 00:07:25,356
what is it?

181
00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:27,055
Uh, just a little
something to ensure

182
00:07:27,185 --> 00:07:28,490
that I win career day.

183
00:07:28,622 --> 00:07:30,014
"Win career day"?Mm-hmm.

184
00:07:30,144 --> 00:07:31,886
I didn't realize
it was a competition.

185
00:07:32,016 --> 00:07:34,278
Oh, it won't be,
because I have this.

186
00:07:37,456 --> 00:07:38,545
Marty, I don't want to know

187
00:07:38,675 --> 00:07:40,415
what you do
with that robot hand,

188
00:07:40,547 --> 00:07:42,374
and I'm sure
the kids won't, either.

189
00:07:42,504 --> 00:07:44,637
Malcolm, meet Elliot,

190
00:07:44,768 --> 00:07:46,596
a fully articulated bionic
limb designed to make

191
00:07:46,726 --> 00:07:49,206
exterior repairs to the
International Space Station.

192
00:07:49,338 --> 00:07:51,122
He also gives
pretty sweet fist bumps.

193
00:07:52,427 --> 00:07:54,038
[exhales sharply, laughs]

194
00:07:54,168 --> 00:07:56,737
[laughs]
All right.

195
00:07:56,867 --> 00:07:58,869
That is pretty impressive.I know, right?

196
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,654
Yeah, but I'm not worried
about it, because I have this.

197
00:08:01,785 --> 00:08:03,047
A stun gun?

198
00:08:03,177 --> 00:08:05,310
Please. Elliot can crush steel

199
00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:08,009
and survive temperatures
down to 500 degrees below zero.

200
00:08:08,139 --> 00:08:09,836
How can a stun gun compete?

201
00:08:09,966 --> 00:08:11,141
Maybe like this.

202
00:08:12,100 --> 00:08:15,189
[shouts]
Malcolm, are you crazy?

203
00:08:15,319 --> 00:08:17,192
Do you know how long
this is gonna take me to fix?

204
00:08:17,322 --> 00:08:18,846
Hopefully not too long,
because I would love

205
00:08:18,975 --> 00:08:20,935
to do that again
in front of the kids.

206
00:08:21,064 --> 00:08:23,240
[laughs]

207
00:08:29,987 --> 00:08:31,379
Oh, hey, babe.

208
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:34,338
So, what did the doctor say?

209
00:08:34,470 --> 00:08:36,602
Exactly what I
told you he would.

210
00:08:36,732 --> 00:08:38,778
I'm in perfect health.

211
00:08:38,908 --> 00:08:40,606
You know, I hate to say it,
but, uh,

212
00:08:40,736 --> 00:08:43,304
I think I'm gonna
outlive this one, too.

213
00:08:43,434 --> 00:08:45,220
Well, that is such a relief.

214
00:08:45,350 --> 00:08:46,830
Did he say anything else?

215
00:08:46,961 --> 00:08:50,181
Uh, no, uh, not that I recall.

216
00:08:50,312 --> 00:08:52,532
I am so happy to hear that.

217
00:08:52,662 --> 00:08:54,316
You know what? And to celebrate,

218
00:08:54,446 --> 00:08:56,623
I've got something
very special planned for you.

219
00:08:56,753 --> 00:08:58,668
Okay. Uh, what's that?

220
00:08:58,798 --> 00:09:00,888
I scheduled your colonoscopy.

221
00:09:02,192 --> 00:09:04,195
Uh, s-say what, now?

222
00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:06,720
The doctor's office called.

223
00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:08,155
How could you leave there

224
00:09:08,285 --> 00:09:09,765
without scheduling
an appointment?

225
00:09:09,897 --> 00:09:11,506
Come on, Tina.
The doctor said I was healthy.

226
00:09:11,638 --> 00:09:12,899
Isn't that good enough?

227
00:09:13,029 --> 00:09:14,857
No, Calvin,
that is not good enough.

228
00:09:14,989 --> 00:09:16,730
You know, I looked it up online.

229
00:09:16,860 --> 00:09:21,517
Do you know that one in every
48 men will get colon cancer?

230
00:09:21,648 --> 00:09:23,779
And that number
is even worse for Black men.

231
00:09:23,911 --> 00:09:25,913
Well, you know what's worse
for this Black man?

232
00:09:26,043 --> 00:09:29,394
Is having someone turn
my ass into a photo booth.

233
00:09:32,092 --> 00:09:33,921
Calvin, this is nonnegotiable.

234
00:09:34,051 --> 00:09:35,923
You're too important to me.

235
00:09:37,184 --> 00:09:39,230
So here.

236
00:09:40,491 --> 00:09:42,451
What's that?

237
00:09:42,581 --> 00:09:43,886
It's your dinner for tonight.

238
00:09:44,018 --> 00:09:45,802
It's a stimulant laxative
that will

239
00:09:45,932 --> 00:09:47,499
flush out your system.

240
00:09:47,629 --> 00:09:48,936
Come on, Tina. Quit playing.

241
00:09:49,066 --> 00:09:50,590
I don't want that stuff
inside my body.

242
00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:52,287
Oh, don't worry, baby.

243
00:09:52,417 --> 00:09:54,288
It won't be for long.

244
00:10:00,469 --> 00:10:03,298
Morning, babe. How you feeling?

245
00:10:03,427 --> 00:10:05,474
Terrible.
That laxative had me running

246
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:07,475
to the bathroom all night.

247
00:10:07,606 --> 00:10:09,609
Aw, poor baby. I would hug you,

248
00:10:09,739 --> 00:10:12,567
but squeezing you right now
might not be a good idea.

249
00:10:12,698 --> 00:10:16,005
Don't worry, Tina.
There's nothing left.

250
00:10:16,136 --> 00:10:18,835
I haven't felt this empty
since N.W.A broke up.

251
00:10:20,270 --> 00:10:22,621
W-Well, wait.
What are you doing sitting down?

252
00:10:22,751 --> 00:10:24,318
You got to go get dressed
for your appointment.

253
00:10:24,448 --> 00:10:27,451
You know, I was thinking
about rescheduling.

254
00:10:27,582 --> 00:10:30,499
We got a big shipment
coming into the shop today.

255
00:10:30,629 --> 00:10:33,023
Calvin, it's a box
of air fresheners.

256
00:10:33,153 --> 00:10:35,677
I know.
I just need to be there

257
00:10:35,808 --> 00:10:37,592
to make sure Hector
doesn't steal 'em

258
00:10:37,724 --> 00:10:39,334
like he does the paper towels.

259
00:10:39,463 --> 00:10:42,206
Calvin, I can take care
of the shop.

260
00:10:42,336 --> 00:10:44,164
[knock on door]

261
00:10:44,294 --> 00:10:47,211
Oh, hold on.
If you're at the shop

262
00:10:47,341 --> 00:10:49,125
and the doctor says
I can't drive myself,

263
00:10:49,256 --> 00:10:50,432
who's taking me?

264
00:10:50,562 --> 00:10:53,522
Oh, hey, buddy.
Ready to go?

265
00:10:54,827 --> 00:10:58,395
Seriously? Dave's taking me
to my colonoscopy?

266
00:10:58,527 --> 00:11:01,051
Why not? You always said
he was a pain in the ass.

267
00:11:01,182 --> 00:11:03,793
Just think of him as
the pregame warm-up.

268
00:11:08,231 --> 00:11:09,494
Hey, Gemma.

269
00:11:09,625 --> 00:11:11,018
Hey, Malcolm.
Where's Marty?

270
00:11:11,148 --> 00:11:13,933
I thought he was coming, too.Uh, I don't know.

271
00:11:14,063 --> 00:11:15,586
Maybe we should check
the lockers.

272
00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:18,373
He has a long history
of getting stuffed in 'em.

273
00:11:20,201 --> 00:11:22,419
Okay, class, let's get started.

274
00:11:22,551 --> 00:11:24,945
I just stopped by because
Grover's special guest

275
00:11:25,075 --> 00:11:27,860
for career day is
a close friend of mine.

276
00:11:27,990 --> 00:11:32,429
In fact, he's so close,
he's actually my neighbor!

277
00:11:35,912 --> 00:11:37,740
Okay, take it away, Grover.

278
00:11:38,959 --> 00:11:40,917
I told her that wouldn't work.

279
00:11:43,179 --> 00:11:48,576
My career day guest
has the coolest job ever.

280
00:11:48,707 --> 00:11:52,407
I don't want to brag, but
he's pretty much a superhero,

281
00:11:52,537 --> 00:11:55,975
and his name is
Malcolm Butler!

282
00:11:56,105 --> 00:11:57,977
Well, thank you, G-man.

283
00:11:58,107 --> 00:12:00,414
I don'’t know if I would say
superhero, but then again,

284
00:12:00,544 --> 00:12:03,244
that's exactly what
a superhero would say.

285
00:12:03,374 --> 00:12:04,811
[chuckles]

286
00:12:04,941 --> 00:12:06,812
Now, as a security guard,

287
00:12:06,942 --> 00:12:08,902
my job is to keep people safe.

288
00:12:09,032 --> 00:12:10,686
Which is why I always
make sure...

289
00:12:10,817 --> 00:12:14,515
[loud fanfare playing]

290
00:12:14,645 --> 00:12:17,388
♪

291
00:12:29,443 --> 00:12:31,793
What's up, tiny Earthlings?

292
00:12:31,924 --> 00:12:32,926
Are you kidding me?

293
00:12:33,056 --> 00:12:35,624
This is so cool.

294
00:12:35,754 --> 00:12:37,408
Guys, this is Marty.

295
00:12:37,538 --> 00:12:41,977
He's, uh, uh,
what's-his-name's brother.

296
00:12:42,109 --> 00:12:44,284
Sorry I'm late, guys.
It was hard to find parking...

297
00:12:44,414 --> 00:12:46,852
for my spaceship. Oh!

298
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:52,683
Okay, it's in that
parking lot up there.
Okay.

299
00:12:52,815 --> 00:12:55,687
You know, I'm really glad
you decided to do this.

300
00:12:55,817 --> 00:12:57,471
After all, the
healthier you are,

301
00:12:57,601 --> 00:12:59,212
the longer we get
to be friends.

302
00:12:59,342 --> 00:13:01,649
Yeah. You know,
I thought about that, too,

303
00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:04,566
and then I decided
to do it anyway.

304
00:13:05,653 --> 00:13:07,568
Good, we're here,
so pull in that space.

305
00:13:07,698 --> 00:13:09,831
Okay.

306
00:13:09,962 --> 00:13:13,269
Wait a second, uh...

307
00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:14,967
I don't see
a doctor's office.

308
00:13:15,097 --> 00:13:17,447
All I see is a
Dave & Buster's.

309
00:13:17,578 --> 00:13:19,450
Because that's where
we're going, Dave.

310
00:13:19,581 --> 00:13:21,888
Happy friendiversary.

311
00:13:24,193 --> 00:13:27,370
Okay, Calvin, we are supposed
to be going to your colonoscopy,

312
00:13:27,501 --> 00:13:29,895
not combining all the
innocent fun of childhood

313
00:13:30,025 --> 00:13:31,985
with the alcoholic
fun of adulthood.

314
00:13:33,246 --> 00:13:35,292
I know, I know,
but a colonoscopy,

315
00:13:35,423 --> 00:13:36,772
that's just about me.

316
00:13:36,903 --> 00:13:39,905
A friendiversary is about us.

317
00:13:40,036 --> 00:13:42,517
[sighs heavily]

318
00:13:42,647 --> 00:13:45,955
You have no idea how long
I've waited to hear those words.

319
00:13:47,434 --> 00:13:49,524
But no, Calvin, I won't do it.

320
00:13:49,653 --> 00:13:51,004
Your health is too important.

321
00:13:51,134 --> 00:13:52,352
Oh, come on.

322
00:13:52,482 --> 00:13:54,572
What could possibly
be more important

323
00:13:54,702 --> 00:13:58,620
than spending a full day of
uninterrupted fun with your...

324
00:14:00,621 --> 00:14:02,275
...BFF?

325
00:14:05,018 --> 00:14:06,758
That is a dirty trick, Calvin.

326
00:14:06,889 --> 00:14:08,412
And what's worse is
you didn't tell me

327
00:14:08,543 --> 00:14:10,153
so I could have worn mine.

328
00:14:11,501 --> 00:14:13,200
Come on, Dave,
so what's it gonna be?

329
00:14:13,330 --> 00:14:14,854
We gonna do this or what?

330
00:14:16,506 --> 00:14:18,509
Calvin, I don't know.

331
00:14:18,639 --> 00:14:20,772
All right, okay,
how about this?

332
00:14:20,903 --> 00:14:23,297
We play one game of Skee-Ball.

333
00:14:23,427 --> 00:14:27,082
If you win, I go ahead
and get my colonoscopy.

334
00:14:27,213 --> 00:14:31,696
If I win, you treat
my recently evacuated colon

335
00:14:31,826 --> 00:14:33,524
to hot wings and beer.

336
00:14:34,743 --> 00:14:36,527
Okay, you know what, fine.

337
00:14:36,658 --> 00:14:39,529
If that's the only way that I
can make you do it, then I'm in.

338
00:14:39,661 --> 00:14:41,445
Great. Come on, let's go.

339
00:14:41,576 --> 00:14:44,447
But FYI, that shirt would look
a lot cooler as a tank top.

340
00:14:49,496 --> 00:14:51,977
Hey.
Well, there he is.

341
00:14:52,107 --> 00:14:55,415
The world's first
jackass-tronaut.

342
00:14:55,546 --> 00:14:57,461
Hey, don't be mad at me.

343
00:14:57,591 --> 00:15:00,072
It's not my fault the kids voted
to have a mural of me

344
00:15:00,202 --> 00:15:01,988
painted on the handball court.

345
00:15:02,118 --> 00:15:04,337
Well, congratulations, Marty.

346
00:15:04,467 --> 00:15:07,341
You officially won career day
and made me look like a chump.

347
00:15:07,471 --> 00:15:09,255
Oh, come on, man,
that's not what I meant to do.

348
00:15:09,385 --> 00:15:10,909
Well, what did you mean to do?

349
00:15:11,039 --> 00:15:12,780
Malcolm, ever since
we were kids,

350
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:15,349
you were always the cool one,
but I was the nerd.

351
00:15:15,479 --> 00:15:17,090
The geek. The...

352
00:15:17,220 --> 00:15:19,091
whatever else Dad
used to call me.

353
00:15:20,354 --> 00:15:21,963
Oh, you mean like poindexter

354
00:15:22,095 --> 00:15:23,879
and brainiac.

355
00:15:24,009 --> 00:15:27,230
My favorite was
dork chocolate.

356
00:15:28,274 --> 00:15:29,450
It's hard to forget that one

357
00:15:29,580 --> 00:15:31,147
when he wrote it
on my birthday cake.

358
00:15:32,888 --> 00:15:34,411
I mean, I know
it might sound dumb,

359
00:15:34,542 --> 00:15:37,587
but I was really excited
to go back to school for a day

360
00:15:37,719 --> 00:15:39,503
and be the cool guy I never was.

361
00:15:39,634 --> 00:15:40,895
Oh, come on, man,
you were cool.

362
00:15:41,027 --> 00:15:42,028
Oh, yeah, right.

363
00:15:42,158 --> 00:15:43,768
No, I'm serious, Marty.

364
00:15:43,899 --> 00:15:46,162
I mean, I'm a really
confident dude,

365
00:15:46,293 --> 00:15:48,294
but I think I would have
felt ridiculous

366
00:15:48,424 --> 00:15:51,427
walking into that classroom
in a damn space suit.

367
00:15:51,558 --> 00:15:53,386
But not you.

368
00:15:53,517 --> 00:15:54,909
You owned it.

369
00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:56,738
And if owning who you are
is not cool,

370
00:15:56,868 --> 00:15:59,436
then, little brother,
I don't know what is.

371
00:15:59,567 --> 00:16:01,873
It was pretty cool, right?Yeah.

372
00:16:02,004 --> 00:16:03,222
And the lunch lady even gave me
her phone number.

373
00:16:03,352 --> 00:16:04,615
[both laugh]

374
00:16:04,745 --> 00:16:06,835
You see, man, you should
keep that suit.

375
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,532
A lunch lady today,

376
00:16:08,663 --> 00:16:10,794
maybe someone under 60 tomorrow.

377
00:16:12,318 --> 00:16:14,581
I wish I could keep it.

378
00:16:14,711 --> 00:16:15,799
Too bad it's
a top secret prototype

379
00:16:15,931 --> 00:16:17,323
worth a million dollars.

380
00:16:17,453 --> 00:16:19,979
What? You snuck
a million-dollar space suit

381
00:16:20,109 --> 00:16:21,719
out of a high-security facility

382
00:16:21,850 --> 00:16:23,111
to impress a bunch
of fourth-graders?

383
00:16:23,243 --> 00:16:24,765
Are you crazy?!

384
00:16:24,895 --> 00:16:26,201
I don't know, but I'll tell you
what's crazier.

385
00:16:26,332 --> 00:16:27,769
You're gonna help me
sneak it back in.

386
00:16:27,899 --> 00:16:29,726
[laughs]:
Uh-uh.

387
00:16:29,857 --> 00:16:32,556
There's no way, man. Why would I
risk my job to do that?

388
00:16:32,687 --> 00:16:34,427
Well, because I snuck it out
on your watch.

389
00:16:34,557 --> 00:16:37,908
Grab the suit. Let's go.Okay.

390
00:16:44,437 --> 00:16:46,788
[bell rings]Yes!

391
00:16:46,918 --> 00:16:49,485
Another 30. You are definitely
getting your colonoscopy today.

392
00:16:51,183 --> 00:16:52,663
This isn't fair.

393
00:16:52,793 --> 00:16:54,317
You didn't tell me
you were great at Skee-Ball.

394
00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:56,014
That's right.
Because if I did,

395
00:16:56,144 --> 00:16:57,538
you might have
picked Whac-A-Mole.

396
00:16:57,668 --> 00:16:59,235
It just makes me feel weird

397
00:16:59,365 --> 00:17:02,586
smashing those cute
little guys over the head.

398
00:17:02,716 --> 00:17:05,459
Well, I can still win this thing

399
00:17:05,588 --> 00:17:07,329
if I get that hundred
in the corner.

400
00:17:07,461 --> 00:17:08,940
Please, Calvin,
nobody ever hits those.

401
00:17:09,070 --> 00:17:10,463
You might as well give up now.

402
00:17:10,594 --> 00:17:11,595
Uh-uh.

403
00:17:11,726 --> 00:17:13,596
If I get this ball
in that hole,

404
00:17:13,728 --> 00:17:16,035
that means no one's
getting near mine.

405
00:17:17,862 --> 00:17:19,994
♪

406
00:17:34,009 --> 00:17:36,229
[bell rings]Oh!

407
00:17:36,358 --> 00:17:38,622
[laughing]

408
00:17:41,016 --> 00:17:43,105
How the hell'd you do that?

409
00:17:43,236 --> 00:17:44,932
Well, let's just say I was

410
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:47,195
literally fighting
to save my ass.

411
00:17:51,548 --> 00:17:55,377
Okay, you know what,
Calvin, fine, you win.

412
00:17:55,509 --> 00:17:58,076
But I don't...
I don't get it.

413
00:17:58,207 --> 00:18:00,252
You know, you are one of
the toughest guys I know.

414
00:18:00,383 --> 00:18:03,082
How are you this afraid
of a minor medical procedure?

415
00:18:03,211 --> 00:18:06,127
It's not the procedure
I'm afraid of, Dave.

416
00:18:06,259 --> 00:18:09,305
Okay, well, then what is it?

417
00:18:09,435 --> 00:18:11,307
What if they find something?
All right?

418
00:18:11,438 --> 00:18:13,092
I just got a clean bill
of health.

419
00:18:13,221 --> 00:18:14,788
I want to quit while I'm ahead.

420
00:18:14,919 --> 00:18:17,704
Okay, Calvin,
what does that even mean?

421
00:18:17,835 --> 00:18:20,924
It means if I'm sick,
I don't want to know.

422
00:18:21,056 --> 00:18:24,103
Look, Tina said that
one out of 48 men

423
00:18:24,232 --> 00:18:25,886
get colon cancer.

424
00:18:26,017 --> 00:18:28,193
What if I'm number 48?

425
00:18:28,324 --> 00:18:31,848
But not knowing doesn't
keep you from being sick.

426
00:18:31,980 --> 00:18:35,114
It keeps you from being able
to do anything about it.

427
00:18:36,375 --> 00:18:38,595
Look, I know this
doesn't make any sense,

428
00:18:38,726 --> 00:18:42,469
but this disease is
even worse for Black men,

429
00:18:42,598 --> 00:18:47,212
and... I just can't think
of the possibility

430
00:18:47,343 --> 00:18:49,301
of not being there
for my family.

431
00:18:49,432 --> 00:18:51,955
Yeah, but isn't family
the whole point?

432
00:18:52,086 --> 00:18:54,088
I mean, how would...
how would you feel

433
00:18:54,220 --> 00:18:57,135
if Tina or the boys
were in your situation?

434
00:18:57,266 --> 00:18:58,833
Wouldn't you want them
to know the truth

435
00:18:58,962 --> 00:19:00,661
so if there was
some sort of bad news

436
00:19:00,790 --> 00:19:02,402
they could do something
about it?

437
00:19:02,531 --> 00:19:04,055
Of course I would.

438
00:19:04,185 --> 00:19:05,796
Well, then don't you think
you owe it to them

439
00:19:05,926 --> 00:19:07,276
to do the same?

440
00:19:09,409 --> 00:19:12,933
Come on, Calvin,
you know I'm right.

441
00:19:14,892 --> 00:19:17,025
Fine. Let's go.

442
00:19:17,155 --> 00:19:19,069
Great.

443
00:19:19,201 --> 00:19:23,509
But before we do, I want you
to know something, Dave.

444
00:19:26,251 --> 00:19:28,905
You are my BFF.

445
00:19:30,343 --> 00:19:31,605
Thank you.

446
00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:35,304
You know, with you
wearing that shirt,

447
00:19:35,434 --> 00:19:37,087
well, it'll kind of be like,

448
00:19:37,219 --> 00:19:38,915
you know, we're in
that room together.

449
00:19:39,047 --> 00:19:41,528
And you took it too far!

450
00:19:48,317 --> 00:19:50,753
Smells good, babe.
What are we having?

451
00:19:50,884 --> 00:19:53,626
Well, in honor of the good news
about your colonoscopy,

452
00:19:53,757 --> 00:19:56,368
I thought we'd celebrate
with rump roast.

453
00:19:56,499 --> 00:19:59,022
[laughter]

454
00:19:59,153 --> 00:20:01,503
Very funny. Go ahead.

455
00:20:01,634 --> 00:20:03,244
Get it out of your system.

456
00:20:03,375 --> 00:20:05,987
After that orange laxative,
I know I did.

457
00:20:07,292 --> 00:20:08,816
Well, seriously, Pop,

458
00:20:08,945 --> 00:20:10,817
I'm really glad that
you went through with it.

459
00:20:10,948 --> 00:20:12,602
Yeah, Dad, we're
proud of you, man.

460
00:20:12,732 --> 00:20:14,473
I mean, I would have preferred
you showed us the pictures

461
00:20:14,604 --> 00:20:16,563
afterdinner, but still.

462
00:20:18,694 --> 00:20:21,480
Well, what's important is
now we know that you're gonna

463
00:20:21,611 --> 00:20:23,090
be with us a long time.

464
00:20:23,221 --> 00:20:25,833
Yeah. And pretty soon, we'll
know the same about you.

465
00:20:25,962 --> 00:20:27,355
Ah. What do you mean?

466
00:20:27,487 --> 00:20:29,228
Well, I talked
to your doctor today

467
00:20:29,357 --> 00:20:31,838
and scheduled yourcolonoscopy.

468
00:20:31,969 --> 00:20:34,319
Say what, now?

469
00:20:34,450 --> 00:20:38,498
Babe, it's just as important
that women get them, too.

470
00:20:38,627 --> 00:20:41,587
So, here you go.

471
00:20:43,980 --> 00:20:45,068
[pops]

472
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:46,593
Enjoy your dinner.

473
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:54,296
Colon cancer is 90% treatable
if detected early.

474
00:20:54,426 --> 00:20:57,385
Go to
StandUpToCancer.org/ColonCancer

475
00:20:57,517 --> 00:20:59,258
for information
on which screening test

476
00:20:59,387 --> 00:21:00,650
may be right for you.

477
00:21:04,219 --> 00:21:07,090
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

478
00:21:07,221 --> 00:21:10,094
and TOYOTA.

479
00:21:10,224 --> 00:21:11,835
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org