1 00:00:09,574 --> 00:00:11,533 Hey, Dave. Oh, hey, buddy. 2 00:00:11,576 --> 00:00:12,882 Hey, this came while you guys were out, 3 00:00:12,925 --> 00:00:14,449 so I just signed for it. 4 00:00:14,492 --> 00:00:15,537 Ah, thanks. 5 00:00:15,580 --> 00:00:16,538 No problem. 6 00:00:16,581 --> 00:00:18,061 It's just what neighbors do. 7 00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:19,106 Looks like you opened it. 8 00:00:20,368 --> 00:00:21,934 Again, it's what neighbors do. 9 00:00:23,588 --> 00:00:26,330 Calvin, this could have been something personal or private. 10 00:00:26,374 --> 00:00:29,029 I know. I was pretty disappointed. 11 00:00:30,378 --> 00:00:32,989 [rooster clucking] 12 00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:33,816 'Sup, dudes? 13 00:00:35,078 --> 00:00:37,559 Whoa, is that a rooster? 14 00:00:37,602 --> 00:00:39,735 Yeah, man, why are you walking your dinner? 15 00:00:39,778 --> 00:00:42,999 This isn't dinner. This is Beaker. 16 00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,957 I'm Wyatt. I just moved in the house behind you. 17 00:00:45,001 --> 00:00:47,699 Oh, nice to meet you. I'm-I'm Dave. This is Calvin. 18 00:00:47,743 --> 00:00:49,484 Welcome to the neighborhood. 19 00:00:49,527 --> 00:00:52,095 And welcome to the neighborhood to you, little buddy... 20 00:00:52,139 --> 00:00:53,966 Ow! No! 21 00:00:55,577 --> 00:00:56,969 I get it. 22 00:00:57,013 --> 00:00:59,233 Threatened by another alpha male. 23 00:00:59,276 --> 00:01:02,149 Yeah, seriously, though, man, what's up with the rooster? 24 00:01:02,192 --> 00:01:05,108 Well, I'm what some might call an urban homesteader. 25 00:01:05,152 --> 00:01:07,676 Oh, does that mean you have a lot of wives? 26 00:01:08,938 --> 00:01:10,853 No. Calvin, an urban homesteader is someone 27 00:01:10,896 --> 00:01:12,507 who lives in the city but does things 28 00:01:12,550 --> 00:01:14,074 you'd normally do on a farm. 29 00:01:14,117 --> 00:01:16,163 [chuckles] Actually, 30 00:01:16,206 --> 00:01:19,209 it's a little more sophisticated than that. 31 00:01:19,253 --> 00:01:22,473 See, I live a totally sustainable lifestyle, 32 00:01:22,517 --> 00:01:25,128 only eating from my organic vegetable garden, 33 00:01:25,172 --> 00:01:27,652 harnessing energy from the sun and the wind. 34 00:01:27,696 --> 00:01:30,873 Basically, trying not to be just another parasitic leech, 35 00:01:30,916 --> 00:01:32,831 sucking the life out of Mother Earth. 36 00:01:32,875 --> 00:01:35,095 Okay, yeah, I get it. [chuckles] 37 00:01:35,138 --> 00:01:36,879 This dude smokes a lot of weed.No. 38 00:01:38,707 --> 00:01:40,448 Don't listen to him. 39 00:01:40,491 --> 00:01:42,537 I think it's great that you're trying to save the planet. 40 00:01:42,580 --> 00:01:43,625 CALVIN [chuckles]: Forget the planet. 41 00:01:43,668 --> 00:01:44,887 You want to save that bird, 42 00:01:44,930 --> 00:01:46,758 don't walk him down Third Street. 43 00:01:46,802 --> 00:01:48,673 It's a chicken joint on the corner, 44 00:01:48,717 --> 00:01:51,285 and you walking a number four combo plate. 45 00:01:51,328 --> 00:01:53,765 I know you think that's funny, 46 00:01:53,809 --> 00:01:56,725 but if you ask us, it's finger-lickin' rude. 47 00:02:01,556 --> 00:02:03,035 Well... 48 00:02:03,079 --> 00:02:05,473 congratulations, Dave.Well, for what? 49 00:02:05,516 --> 00:02:07,257 You're finally cooler than a Black guy. 50 00:02:09,041 --> 00:02:10,521 ♪ Welcome to the block, welcome to the neighborhood ♪ 51 00:02:10,565 --> 00:02:11,870 ♪ Welcome to the hood. 52 00:02:18,964 --> 00:02:20,357 Hey, babe. 53 00:02:20,401 --> 00:02:22,490 Why you reading that fiction 54 00:02:22,533 --> 00:02:24,840 when you got a fantasy right here? 55 00:02:26,407 --> 00:02:29,149 Oh, yeah? Well, what is it about? 56 00:02:29,192 --> 00:02:32,021 Well, once upon a time, 57 00:02:32,064 --> 00:02:33,805 there was all this. 58 00:02:33,849 --> 00:02:35,720 Ooh. 59 00:02:35,764 --> 00:02:37,983 You get in here, my knight in shining armor, 60 00:02:38,027 --> 00:02:39,768 and you storm my castle. 61 00:02:39,811 --> 00:02:40,899 [laughs] 62 00:02:40,943 --> 00:02:41,944 [Beaker crows] 63 00:02:43,206 --> 00:02:45,600 Oh, no, not again. 64 00:02:45,643 --> 00:02:47,341 Oh, b-babe, ignore it. 65 00:02:47,384 --> 00:02:48,907 O-Or make ita part of the fantasy. 66 00:02:48,951 --> 00:02:51,040 I'm a knightthat lives on a farm. 67 00:02:51,083 --> 00:02:52,955 [both chuckling] 68 00:02:52,998 --> 00:02:54,391 [Beaker crows] 69 00:02:54,435 --> 00:02:55,958 You know what? That damn bird 70 00:02:56,001 --> 00:02:57,438 has been crowing for the last three nights. 71 00:02:57,481 --> 00:02:59,527 Come on, Tina. 72 00:02:59,570 --> 00:03:01,964 I'm not trying to getrooster-blocked again. 73 00:03:02,007 --> 00:03:03,052 [Beaker crows] 74 00:03:03,095 --> 00:03:05,359 Uh, I-I'm sorry, Calvin. 75 00:03:05,402 --> 00:03:09,014 I can't do this to animal sounds going on. 76 00:03:09,058 --> 00:03:11,016 I'm freaky, but not that freaky. 77 00:03:16,326 --> 00:03:18,850 [Beaker crows] 78 00:03:18,894 --> 00:03:21,505 Come on, Beaker. Knock it off! 79 00:03:23,986 --> 00:03:26,336 [quietly]: Hey. How are we supposed to get any sleep 80 00:03:26,380 --> 00:03:28,251 with all that crowing going on? 81 00:03:28,295 --> 00:03:31,036 [snoring] 82 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:34,866 Gemma. Gemma. 83 00:03:34,910 --> 00:03:36,912 Gemma. 84 00:03:36,955 --> 00:03:39,219 Huh? What?Oh, great. 85 00:03:39,262 --> 00:03:41,351 Now the rooster woke you up, too. 86 00:03:43,135 --> 00:03:45,225 Dave, just ignore it. 87 00:03:45,268 --> 00:03:47,009 [Beaker crows] 88 00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:51,361 How can you possibly sleep through that? 89 00:03:51,405 --> 00:03:53,276 I-I grew up in Hickory Corners. 90 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:55,800 You learn real quickto sleep through animal noises, 91 00:03:55,844 --> 00:03:59,239 tractor engines and the occasional exploding meth lab. 92 00:04:02,764 --> 00:04:04,940 Well, since we're both up, 93 00:04:04,983 --> 00:04:07,334 I do know one thing that'll help me get back to sleep. 94 00:04:07,377 --> 00:04:09,466 [snoring] 95 00:04:09,510 --> 00:04:11,207 [Beaker crows] 96 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:14,776 Shut up, Beaker. Stop rubbing it in! 97 00:04:18,345 --> 00:04:20,303 Oh, hey, everybody. 98 00:04:20,347 --> 00:04:21,783 Uh, Mom, I got some laundry for you. 99 00:04:21,826 --> 00:04:23,306 Okay, baby.Just leave it on the table. 100 00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:25,090 All right. 101 00:04:25,134 --> 00:04:27,571 Why can't Martydo his own laundry? 102 00:04:27,615 --> 00:04:29,834 He is a grown man, not a child. 103 00:04:29,878 --> 00:04:32,054 Plus, Mama,he ate the piece of pie 104 00:04:32,097 --> 00:04:33,751 that I hid in the back of the fridge. 105 00:04:35,449 --> 00:04:37,668 I know he's not a child. 106 00:04:37,712 --> 00:04:39,931 But look at these cheeks! Hey, aw, come on. 107 00:04:39,975 --> 00:04:41,629 [laughs] 108 00:04:41,672 --> 00:04:43,413 Hey, Malcolm, what can I say, man? 109 00:04:43,457 --> 00:04:45,197 It ain't easy being squeezy. 110 00:04:45,241 --> 00:04:47,374 [laughs] 111 00:04:47,417 --> 00:04:49,680 Well, I just don't know why you let him take advantage of you. 112 00:04:49,724 --> 00:04:51,421 He's not taking advantage of me. 113 00:04:51,465 --> 00:04:53,510 His apartment doesn't have a washer and dryer. 114 00:04:53,554 --> 00:04:56,078 And I don't want him having to lug all his dirty laundry 115 00:04:56,121 --> 00:04:58,210 to some sketchy Laundromat. 116 00:04:58,254 --> 00:05:00,604 Yeah, she's right, Malcolm. Look at these cheeks. 117 00:05:00,648 --> 00:05:02,824 It ain't safe out there, man. 118 00:05:02,867 --> 00:05:04,652 [chuckles] 119 00:05:04,695 --> 00:05:06,741 Well, I'm-a put these in the washer right now. 120 00:05:09,134 --> 00:05:10,527 You have no shame. 121 00:05:10,571 --> 00:05:13,138 That's true. But you have no pie. 122 00:05:13,182 --> 00:05:15,227 [laughs] 123 00:05:17,404 --> 00:05:18,753 Oh, hey, Calvin. 124 00:05:22,409 --> 00:05:24,454 Calvin? 125 00:05:24,498 --> 00:05:26,500 Hey. Calvin.[horn honks] 126 00:05:26,543 --> 00:05:28,763 Pick a lane, jackass! 127 00:05:31,548 --> 00:05:34,377 Let me guess: Wyatt's rooster's been keeping you up, too? 128 00:05:34,421 --> 00:05:36,379 Every night this week. 129 00:05:37,685 --> 00:05:39,382 I'm so exhausted, this morning, 130 00:05:39,426 --> 00:05:40,775 I put my phone in the toaster and tried 131 00:05:40,818 --> 00:05:42,080 to call my mom on a bagel. 132 00:05:43,081 --> 00:05:44,561 [Beaker crows] 133 00:05:44,605 --> 00:05:46,563 You know what? That's it. 134 00:05:46,607 --> 00:05:48,130 I can't take it anymore. 135 00:05:48,173 --> 00:05:50,045 I'm going over there to wring his damn neck. 136 00:05:50,088 --> 00:05:52,613 Okay, Calvin, you can't just go over there and kill Beaker. 137 00:05:52,656 --> 00:05:55,398 Beaker? I was talking about Wyatt. 138 00:05:56,443 --> 00:05:58,793 Calvin, just hold on. 139 00:05:58,836 --> 00:06:01,404 I know we're both tired and grouchy-- 140 00:06:01,448 --> 00:06:03,450 which, I know for you, is business as usual... 141 00:06:05,713 --> 00:06:08,411 ...but that doesn't mean that violence is the answer. 142 00:06:08,455 --> 00:06:10,370 Then what is? 143 00:06:10,413 --> 00:06:13,198 We kill Wyatt with kindness. 144 00:06:13,242 --> 00:06:15,113 I like the first half of that. 145 00:06:15,157 --> 00:06:17,681 No, no. Calvin, we're gonna go over there, 146 00:06:17,725 --> 00:06:19,074 we're gonna bring him some homemade cookies, 147 00:06:19,117 --> 00:06:20,989 we're gonna say, "Welcome to the neighborhood," 148 00:06:21,032 --> 00:06:23,121 and then we're gonna bring up the rooster, 149 00:06:23,165 --> 00:06:25,646 at which point, I'm sure he's gonna be very reasonable. 150 00:06:25,689 --> 00:06:28,953 D-Dave, please. He'd be a fool to fall for that. 151 00:06:28,997 --> 00:06:30,955 Would he? I got you to stop mowing your lawn 152 00:06:30,999 --> 00:06:32,304 so early in the morning. 153 00:06:32,348 --> 00:06:33,784 Are you kidding me? 154 00:06:33,828 --> 00:06:36,352 I got to sleep in and I got cookies? 155 00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:37,658 Who played who, Dave? 156 00:06:40,922 --> 00:06:42,227 [knock on door] 157 00:06:44,447 --> 00:06:46,014 Oh, hey, Mom. What are you doing here? 158 00:06:46,057 --> 00:06:47,319 Well, I finished doing your laundry 159 00:06:47,363 --> 00:06:49,017 and thought I'd bring it over to you. 160 00:06:49,060 --> 00:06:51,411 Oh, Mama, you didn't have to come all the way over here. 161 00:06:51,454 --> 00:06:53,978 I was gonna drop off another load later tonight. 162 00:06:55,327 --> 00:06:57,765 Well, actually, I was also thinking 163 00:06:57,808 --> 00:06:59,680 that maybe I could take a nap here. 164 00:06:59,723 --> 00:07:01,203 I just can't get any rest at home 165 00:07:01,246 --> 00:07:03,597 with that rooster crowing all the time. 166 00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:06,121 Yeah, no problem. But I was just on my way out. 167 00:07:06,164 --> 00:07:08,123 Some cast members from Star Trek are doing a signing 168 00:07:08,166 --> 00:07:09,820 at my favorite comic book store. 169 00:07:09,864 --> 00:07:12,736 Captain's log: excited! [chuckles] 170 00:07:12,780 --> 00:07:14,477 Okay, baby, well, go have fun. 171 00:07:14,521 --> 00:07:17,088 And may the Force be with you. 172 00:07:17,132 --> 00:07:19,090 Eh, ooh, um, 173 00:07:19,134 --> 00:07:20,570 actually, that's Star Wars. 174 00:07:20,614 --> 00:07:22,006 See, Star Trektakes place 175 00:07:22,050 --> 00:07:23,268 in a completely different universe 176 00:07:23,312 --> 00:07:24,618 where there'sa united federa...[snoring] 177 00:07:26,620 --> 00:07:28,273 [whoops] Look at that. 178 00:07:28,317 --> 00:07:29,927 I'm half asleep already. 179 00:07:31,189 --> 00:07:32,887 Point taken. 180 00:07:32,930 --> 00:07:34,497 Uh, sleep well and prosper. 181 00:07:39,633 --> 00:07:42,374 [sighs, groans] Thank God. 182 00:07:42,418 --> 00:07:45,726 All right, so where does he keep his pillows? 183 00:07:46,727 --> 00:07:49,164 Pillows... Ah. 184 00:07:49,207 --> 00:07:50,339 Yeah. 185 00:07:54,386 --> 00:07:56,388 Oh, hell no! 186 00:08:00,697 --> 00:08:02,743 I'm-a beam my foot up his ass. 187 00:08:05,354 --> 00:08:07,443 Calvin, I'm telling you, this is gonna work. 188 00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:09,706 Wyatt is gonna love my ladyfingers. 189 00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:12,579 Yeah, I bet he's gonna love your cookies, too. 190 00:08:15,364 --> 00:08:17,540 Oh, hey, guys. 191 00:08:19,890 --> 00:08:21,413 Hey, there, Wyatt. [chuckles] 192 00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:23,459 What you doing there? 193 00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:26,984 Yeah, did we, uh, catch you in a private moment? 194 00:08:27,028 --> 00:08:29,160 Oh, no, just churning some butter. 195 00:08:29,204 --> 00:08:30,553 You want to take a tug? 196 00:08:30,597 --> 00:08:33,251 I most certainly do not. 197 00:08:33,295 --> 00:08:37,168 Uh, yeah, Wyatt, we just came by to officially say 198 00:08:37,212 --> 00:08:38,605 welcome to the neighborhood. 199 00:08:38,648 --> 00:08:40,650 Oh, thanks, but no thanks. 200 00:08:40,694 --> 00:08:42,783 I don't know about you, but my conscience won't allow me 201 00:08:42,826 --> 00:08:45,133 to support the sugar cartels. 202 00:08:45,176 --> 00:08:47,614 Oh, well, I-I've never heard of the sugar cartels. 203 00:08:47,657 --> 00:08:49,659 And yet, you're a soldier in their army. 204 00:08:49,703 --> 00:08:54,490 L-Look, man, your rooster has been crowing every night, 205 00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:56,579 and no one around here is getting any sleep. 206 00:08:56,623 --> 00:08:59,539 Yeah, I hear you. Beaker's a bit of a night owl. 207 00:08:59,582 --> 00:09:02,454 Which is funny because my night owl is a real early bird. 208 00:09:04,456 --> 00:09:06,023 Great, then you'll do something about it? 209 00:09:06,067 --> 00:09:07,547 Oh, no. 210 00:09:07,590 --> 00:09:09,026 Getting rid of Beaker would upset 211 00:09:09,070 --> 00:09:10,506 my delicate backyard ecosystem. 212 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,116 I don't want to play God. 213 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:14,728 That is his/her/their business. 214 00:09:14,771 --> 00:09:16,730 You know what? 215 00:09:16,773 --> 00:09:19,950 That's it. Old MacDonald is about to get E-I-E-I-O'd. 216 00:09:19,994 --> 00:09:22,039 No, uh, Calvin, no. 217 00:09:22,083 --> 00:09:23,301 Hey, Wyatt, 218 00:09:23,345 --> 00:09:24,999 we all really appreciate 219 00:09:25,042 --> 00:09:27,654 what you're trying to do for the planet, but, uh, 220 00:09:27,697 --> 00:09:30,265 a-around here, we look out for our neighbors. 221 00:09:30,308 --> 00:09:32,136 [Beaker crows] Mm. 222 00:09:32,180 --> 00:09:34,356 Oops, got to go. 223 00:09:34,399 --> 00:09:36,532 It's feeding time, and Beaker hates to eat alone. 224 00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,490 [Beaker crows] 225 00:09:38,534 --> 00:09:40,188 Oh, keep your feathers on. 226 00:09:40,231 --> 00:09:42,233 I'm coming! 227 00:09:45,759 --> 00:09:48,631 You were right. We got to whack that bird. 228 00:09:55,072 --> 00:09:57,901 All right. You ready to do this? 229 00:09:57,945 --> 00:10:00,687 Oh, yeah. Let's choke this chicken. 230 00:10:01,775 --> 00:10:03,603 If we go to jail for this, 231 00:10:03,646 --> 00:10:05,474 you have got to stop talking like that. 232 00:10:06,693 --> 00:10:08,608 All right, let's go.Hold on. 233 00:10:08,651 --> 00:10:10,653 Let me just get my pillow out. 234 00:10:10,697 --> 00:10:12,829 A pillow? W-Why a pillow? 235 00:10:12,873 --> 00:10:15,571 This is a bird-napping, not a sleepover. 236 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,094 It's a part of my plan. 237 00:10:17,138 --> 00:10:19,662 Look, if we just steal the rooster, 238 00:10:19,706 --> 00:10:23,231 Wyatt is gonna know that it was us, which is why... 239 00:10:23,274 --> 00:10:25,102 we're gonna make it look like a coyote attack. 240 00:10:25,146 --> 00:10:27,844 Why would a coyote be carrying a pillow? 241 00:10:29,193 --> 00:10:31,195 No. When we get into the yard, 242 00:10:31,239 --> 00:10:32,675 we're gonna rip open the pillow and throw feathers 243 00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:33,676 all over the place. 244 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:36,374 Then... 245 00:10:36,418 --> 00:10:38,289 we're gonna squirt this fake blood everywhere. 246 00:10:38,333 --> 00:10:40,291 After that, the only thing that's left to do is to 247 00:10:40,335 --> 00:10:42,424 grab the rooster, jam it in the pillowcase, and then go home 248 00:10:42,467 --> 00:10:44,121 to a good night's sleep. 249 00:10:44,165 --> 00:10:46,776 Damn it, Dave. 250 00:10:46,820 --> 00:10:48,212 That's the most brilliant plan I've ever heard. 251 00:10:48,256 --> 00:10:50,824 That's what I'm saying. [shushing] 252 00:11:00,485 --> 00:11:02,705 [grunting] 253 00:11:13,847 --> 00:11:15,413 You knew there was a gate? 254 00:11:15,457 --> 00:11:19,504 Yeah. I was gonna say something, but then I thought, "Why?" 255 00:11:22,159 --> 00:11:23,900 Okay, so where is he?He's right over there, 256 00:11:23,944 --> 00:11:25,859 on top of the chicken coop.Ah. 257 00:11:25,902 --> 00:11:27,948 Standing guard over the ladies. 258 00:11:27,991 --> 00:11:30,515 Respect, respect. 259 00:11:30,559 --> 00:11:33,344 Okay, you go grab him. 260 00:11:33,388 --> 00:11:34,911 I'm gonna frame a coyote. 261 00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,132 Okay, Beaker... 262 00:11:39,786 --> 00:11:41,352 ...this is nothing personal. 263 00:11:41,396 --> 00:11:44,094 I just hate you and I want you to die! 264 00:11:48,838 --> 00:11:50,361 All right. 265 00:11:50,405 --> 00:11:52,799 Get him, Calvin, get him!CALVIN: I'm trying. 266 00:11:52,842 --> 00:11:54,452 But this sucker's fast. He must be free-range! 267 00:11:56,193 --> 00:11:57,934 Calvin, quit messing around. Get him. 268 00:11:57,978 --> 00:11:59,675 Look, I'm trying. 269 00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:01,329 Okay, I got him, I got him. 270 00:12:01,372 --> 00:12:04,158 Ooh.Calvin, nice work. That was amazing. 271 00:12:04,201 --> 00:12:06,421 I know. When it comes to chasing chickens, 272 00:12:06,464 --> 00:12:08,249 it's all about the footwork. 273 00:12:08,292 --> 00:12:09,816 Come on. Let's get out of here before, uh... 274 00:12:11,165 --> 00:12:12,122 ...that happens. 275 00:12:12,166 --> 00:12:13,297 Go, go, go! 276 00:12:16,387 --> 00:12:17,649 Oh, hey, Mama. 277 00:12:17,693 --> 00:12:19,651 I'm surprised you're still here.Mm. 278 00:12:19,695 --> 00:12:22,045 Well, I guess that's the thing about surprises. 279 00:12:22,089 --> 00:12:24,700 You never know when you're gonna open a door and find one. 280 00:12:26,310 --> 00:12:27,659 So, how was the comic book store? 281 00:12:27,703 --> 00:12:29,096 Oh, it was incredible.Mm? 282 00:12:29,139 --> 00:12:30,880 I got my shirt signed by two Klingons, 283 00:12:30,924 --> 00:12:32,708 a Romulan and a Borg. 284 00:12:33,883 --> 00:12:35,189 Well, that's wonderful, baby. 285 00:12:35,232 --> 00:12:36,756 I'm glad you had fun.Yeah. 286 00:12:36,799 --> 00:12:38,322 How about you? Did you have a good nap? 287 00:12:38,366 --> 00:12:40,498 Well, I ended up not taking one. 288 00:12:40,542 --> 00:12:41,761 Oh, why not? 289 00:12:41,804 --> 00:12:43,763 Well, you know, your place is so nice, 290 00:12:43,806 --> 00:12:45,765 I just got caught up doing other things, 291 00:12:45,808 --> 00:12:49,290 like watching your big TV and enjoying your beautiful view, 292 00:12:49,333 --> 00:12:51,901 and finding you have a damn washer and dryer! 293 00:12:55,818 --> 00:12:58,995 What? There's a washer and dryer here? 294 00:13:00,301 --> 00:13:01,781 I can't believe you. 295 00:13:01,824 --> 00:13:03,391 Why would you lie to me? 296 00:13:03,434 --> 00:13:05,088 Uh, well, uh, technically, I didn't lie. 297 00:13:05,132 --> 00:13:07,047 I just withheld the truth, which, according to Dad, 298 00:13:07,090 --> 00:13:08,918 there's a big difference. 299 00:13:08,962 --> 00:13:10,833 All these years I've been doing your laundry 300 00:13:10,877 --> 00:13:12,617 when you could've been doing it your damn self? 301 00:13:12,661 --> 00:13:14,619 Actually, actually, that's not true, either. 302 00:13:14,663 --> 00:13:16,012 See, 'cause I never learned how to do my laundry, 303 00:13:16,056 --> 00:13:17,579 because you always did it for me. 304 00:13:17,622 --> 00:13:19,799 So, if you think about it, this is kind of on you. 305 00:13:19,842 --> 00:13:21,278 [clears throat] 306 00:13:24,281 --> 00:13:25,282 It's on me? 307 00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:28,677 No, no, no, it's-it's on me. 308 00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:30,853 [mutters nervously]It's on me. 309 00:13:30,897 --> 00:13:32,550 Well, in that case, 310 00:13:32,594 --> 00:13:34,465 this is on you. 311 00:13:34,509 --> 00:13:36,511 Mama! 312 00:13:36,554 --> 00:13:38,861 Oh! Mama. 313 00:13:38,905 --> 00:13:41,951 This is a collector's item. Why would you do that? 314 00:13:41,995 --> 00:13:44,258 To give you a reason to learn how to do your own laundry. 315 00:13:44,301 --> 00:13:46,608 And you better do it quick before that stains. 316 00:13:46,651 --> 00:13:48,523 Oh, mama's log: 317 00:13:48,566 --> 00:13:50,090 payback! 318 00:13:57,749 --> 00:13:59,447 Wow. 319 00:13:59,490 --> 00:14:01,536 I've never really seen a rooster up close. 320 00:14:02,798 --> 00:14:03,973 Yeah, me, neither. 321 00:14:04,017 --> 00:14:06,410 They're weirdly kind of beautiful. 322 00:14:06,454 --> 00:14:08,238 Yeah, really is. 323 00:14:08,282 --> 00:14:10,023 Okay, now, go ahead and snap its neck. 324 00:14:12,590 --> 00:14:14,027 What? 325 00:14:14,070 --> 00:14:15,724 I can't do it. I'm not a killer. 326 00:14:15,767 --> 00:14:17,987 I can't, either. I caught him. 327 00:14:18,031 --> 00:14:20,163 He'd see it coming from me. 328 00:14:21,425 --> 00:14:23,558 Uh-uh. Not me. I can't do it. 329 00:14:23,601 --> 00:14:25,560 Look, I know this is gonna be hard for you to believe, 330 00:14:25,603 --> 00:14:27,997 but I'm not as hard-core as I look. 331 00:14:29,390 --> 00:14:31,696 Okay. If you can't do it, then I guess I'll do it. 332 00:14:31,740 --> 00:14:33,002 Stand back. 333 00:14:33,046 --> 00:14:36,614 Let me show you how a gangsta takes out a bird. 334 00:14:36,658 --> 00:14:37,920 [chuckles] 335 00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:39,966 [grunts] 336 00:14:40,009 --> 00:14:41,402 Ah, ooh, ah. 337 00:14:45,710 --> 00:14:47,364 Ah... 338 00:14:47,408 --> 00:14:50,150 [The Good, the Bad and the Uglytheme playing] 339 00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:07,210 Ah, I can't. Why not? 340 00:15:07,254 --> 00:15:09,691 We made eye contact. I saw his soul. 341 00:15:11,171 --> 00:15:13,042 Saw whose soul? 342 00:15:13,086 --> 00:15:15,740 Uh, uh, Calvin's. By the way, beautiful soul, Calvin. Really. 343 00:15:15,784 --> 00:15:18,482 [Beaker crows] 344 00:15:18,526 --> 00:15:22,269 Oh, my God. Did you two steal that guy's rooster? 345 00:15:22,312 --> 00:15:23,966 Okay, look, I know, I know it seems crazy, 346 00:15:24,010 --> 00:15:25,272 but we tried talking to Wyatt, 347 00:15:25,315 --> 00:15:26,534 and he wouldn't do anything about it. 348 00:15:26,577 --> 00:15:28,405 Which is why we had to steal it. 349 00:15:28,449 --> 00:15:30,494 And now neither one of us can bring ourselves 350 00:15:30,538 --> 00:15:32,975 to send him to the big chicken coop in the sky. 351 00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:35,543 I can't believe you guys. 352 00:15:35,586 --> 00:15:38,328 You are two grown men, 353 00:15:38,372 --> 00:15:40,243 and you can't kill a rooster? 354 00:15:40,287 --> 00:15:42,115 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 355 00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,727 Come on, it's no big deal. 356 00:15:45,770 --> 00:15:47,729 Back on the farm, I used to kill chickens all the time. 357 00:15:47,772 --> 00:15:49,122 You did? 358 00:15:49,165 --> 00:15:50,993 Trust me, once you've gone elbow-deep 359 00:15:51,037 --> 00:15:54,518 to inseminate a cow, you can do pretty much anything. 360 00:15:54,562 --> 00:15:57,173 Wow. 361 00:15:57,217 --> 00:15:59,262 Tina won't even stick her fingers in a bowling ball. 362 00:15:59,306 --> 00:16:01,177 Okay, okay, okay. 363 00:16:01,221 --> 00:16:03,310 Stop, please. I-I know what we can do. 364 00:16:03,353 --> 00:16:05,573 We can drive him out to the country 365 00:16:05,616 --> 00:16:08,184 and leave him at a, at a real farm. 366 00:16:08,228 --> 00:16:09,577 You know what? That's a great idea. 367 00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:12,145 Stay here. I'm gonna go get a box. 368 00:16:12,188 --> 00:16:14,234 You... keep an eye on her. 369 00:16:16,453 --> 00:16:18,455 Come on, please, come out, come out, come out! 370 00:16:19,891 --> 00:16:21,371 How's it going out here? 371 00:16:21,415 --> 00:16:24,244 Terrible. The stain's spreading. 372 00:16:24,287 --> 00:16:27,334 Oh, well, I am so glad I switched from red to white. 373 00:16:27,377 --> 00:16:29,684 It pairs so much better with revenge. 374 00:16:30,946 --> 00:16:32,426 You know, how can you sit there 375 00:16:32,469 --> 00:16:34,384 and just watch me suffer like this? 376 00:16:34,428 --> 00:16:36,038 You mean like how you sat and watched me 377 00:16:36,082 --> 00:16:37,474 do your laundry for years? 378 00:16:37,518 --> 00:16:38,867 That's not true. I never watched. 379 00:16:38,910 --> 00:16:40,216 I just dropped it off and left. 380 00:16:41,739 --> 00:16:43,437 [groans] That's it. 381 00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,656 I give up. The shirt's ruined. 382 00:16:45,700 --> 00:16:46,962 I hope you're happy. 383 00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:49,008 No, I am not happy. 384 00:16:49,051 --> 00:16:51,836 My own son lied to me and treated me like the help 385 00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:55,231 just because he was too damn lazy to do his own laundry. 386 00:16:55,275 --> 00:16:56,928 Mom, I didn't lie to you because I was lazy. 387 00:16:56,972 --> 00:16:58,408 Then why did you? 388 00:16:58,452 --> 00:17:00,454 I don't want to say. 389 00:17:00,497 --> 00:17:02,238 It's embarrassing. 390 00:17:02,282 --> 00:17:04,110 Marty, you went out in public 391 00:17:04,153 --> 00:17:07,765 dressed as an imaginary space captain. 392 00:17:07,809 --> 00:17:10,246 The embarrassing ship has sailed. 393 00:17:12,553 --> 00:17:14,772 Fine. 394 00:17:14,816 --> 00:17:17,079 The truth is, the reason I had you do my laundry 395 00:17:17,123 --> 00:17:19,125 is so I had an excuse to come home. 396 00:17:19,168 --> 00:17:21,344 What are you talking about? 397 00:17:21,388 --> 00:17:23,738 You don't need an excuse to come home. 398 00:17:23,781 --> 00:17:26,567 Yes, I do. Mama, I'm a grown man living on my own. 399 00:17:26,610 --> 00:17:28,482 I'm not supposed to run home 400 00:17:28,525 --> 00:17:29,961 every time I get lonely and miss you guys. 401 00:17:30,005 --> 00:17:31,746 How does that look? 402 00:17:31,789 --> 00:17:33,965 It looks like somebody who loves his family. 403 00:17:34,009 --> 00:17:36,185 No, more like somebody who can't live without them. 404 00:17:37,665 --> 00:17:39,797 Marty, that's a good thing. 405 00:17:41,495 --> 00:17:43,323 Too many kids can't wait to grow up 406 00:17:43,366 --> 00:17:45,238 and get out of their homes. 407 00:17:45,281 --> 00:17:47,109 And the fact that you love coming back 408 00:17:47,153 --> 00:17:50,373 means that we have something special. 409 00:17:50,417 --> 00:17:52,201 You should never be ashamed of that. 410 00:17:55,030 --> 00:17:57,119 You're right, Mama. 411 00:17:57,163 --> 00:17:59,817 I'm sorry I lied to you. 412 00:17:59,861 --> 00:18:03,386 It's okay. I forgive you. 413 00:18:03,430 --> 00:18:05,214 That's why I'm gonna do this. 414 00:18:05,258 --> 00:18:07,216 Ooh, ooh, ooh. 415 00:18:08,609 --> 00:18:10,524 Mama! Why'd you do that? 416 00:18:10,567 --> 00:18:11,960 You said you forgave me. 417 00:18:12,003 --> 00:18:13,788 I do forgive you. 418 00:18:13,831 --> 00:18:16,399 White wine is the only thing that gets red wine out. 419 00:18:16,443 --> 00:18:18,575 Wait, so the shirt's gonna be okay? 420 00:18:18,619 --> 00:18:21,317 Sure is. Okay, awesome. [laughs] 421 00:18:21,361 --> 00:18:23,319 That means I won't look ridiculous wearing it. 422 00:18:23,363 --> 00:18:24,973 I never said that. 423 00:18:27,802 --> 00:18:30,500 How's Beaker doing in there? He seems pretty quiet. 424 00:18:30,544 --> 00:18:33,634 He actually looks pretty comfortable. 425 00:18:33,677 --> 00:18:36,724 I think he knows that we're taking him to a good home. 426 00:18:36,767 --> 00:18:38,813 Hopefully, one without someone like Gemma. 427 00:18:42,033 --> 00:18:44,906 All I know is I'm looking forward to a good night's sleep. 428 00:18:44,949 --> 00:18:47,387 Yeah, me, too. 429 00:18:47,430 --> 00:18:49,780 You don't feel bad about what we're doing to Wyatt, do you? 430 00:18:49,824 --> 00:18:51,956 Hell no. 431 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,263 This guy gets what he deserves. 432 00:18:54,307 --> 00:18:58,528 Moving in with his stupid farm, trying to save the Earth. 433 00:18:58,572 --> 00:19:00,574 I mean, if you ask me, it's just plain selfish. 434 00:19:00,617 --> 00:19:02,184 Yeah. 435 00:19:02,228 --> 00:19:03,707 You know what? You're right. 436 00:19:03,751 --> 00:19:06,145 He was driving everyone in the neighborhood nuts. 437 00:19:06,188 --> 00:19:08,625 You're damn straight. W-We're the good guys here. 438 00:19:08,669 --> 00:19:10,932 Good guys? We're practically heroes. 439 00:19:10,975 --> 00:19:13,413 Yeah. I mean, I'm not saying that we deserve a holiday, 440 00:19:13,456 --> 00:19:15,980 but I wouldn't be mad at a parade. 441 00:19:16,024 --> 00:19:17,460 Yeah... 442 00:19:17,504 --> 00:19:20,115 I mean, seriously, who keeps a rooster, anyways? 443 00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:21,899 Yeah. Get yourself a dog. 444 00:19:21,943 --> 00:19:23,727 That's a real pet. [laughs] 445 00:19:24,554 --> 00:19:26,600 Did you ever have a dog? 446 00:19:26,643 --> 00:19:29,385 Yeah. Yeah, his name was Duke. 447 00:19:29,429 --> 00:19:31,518 Best friend I ever had. 448 00:19:31,561 --> 00:19:32,562 Don't you mean second best friend? 449 00:19:32,606 --> 00:19:33,694 I said what I said. 450 00:19:36,523 --> 00:19:37,785 Well, what happened to him? 451 00:19:37,828 --> 00:19:40,788 He ran away. 452 00:19:40,831 --> 00:19:44,226 I left the gate open one day, and when I came home, 453 00:19:44,270 --> 00:19:45,793 he was gone. 454 00:19:45,836 --> 00:19:48,230 Oh, man. That's awful. 455 00:19:48,274 --> 00:19:51,059 Yeah, broke my heart. 456 00:19:51,102 --> 00:19:53,627 Yeah, but this-this is different. 457 00:19:54,628 --> 00:19:56,673 Yeah, no, totally. 458 00:19:56,717 --> 00:19:59,459 I mean, just 'cause Wyatt took him for walks 459 00:19:59,502 --> 00:20:02,766 and cared for him and... 460 00:20:02,810 --> 00:20:04,638 gave him a name. 461 00:20:07,684 --> 00:20:09,382 We're monsters!What have we done?! 462 00:20:09,425 --> 00:20:12,298 I feel terrible.Yeah, me, too, man. You know what? 463 00:20:12,341 --> 00:20:13,342 W-We got to get Beaker home. 464 00:20:13,386 --> 00:20:14,648 Yeah, turn the truck around. 465 00:20:14,691 --> 00:20:16,084 Hold onto the box.Okay. 466 00:20:17,781 --> 00:20:19,827 I miss you, Duke! 467 00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:28,139 This is great. I've always wanted to make my own butter. 468 00:20:28,183 --> 00:20:29,315 You know what they say. 469 00:20:29,358 --> 00:20:32,056 Once you go churn, you never return. 470 00:20:34,668 --> 00:20:37,888 Oh, hey, Calvin. Check this out. 471 00:20:37,932 --> 00:20:42,241 Dave, please don't say my name when you're doing that. 472 00:20:42,284 --> 00:20:44,504 Hey, you know, I'm really worried about my technique. 473 00:20:44,547 --> 00:20:46,201 Am I doing this right? 474 00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:48,812 Close. But do it like this. 475 00:20:51,032 --> 00:20:51,989 CALVIN: Oh. 476 00:20:52,033 --> 00:20:54,775 That's it. Tina! 477 00:20:54,818 --> 00:20:56,342 Throw out the butter! 478 00:20:56,385 --> 00:20:58,300 From now on, I'm eating my toast dry! 479 00:21:03,131 --> 00:21:07,091 Captioning sponsored by CBS 480 00:21:07,135 --> 00:21:11,182 and TOYOTA. 481 00:21:11,226 --> 00:21:15,226 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org