1
00:00:01,784 --> 00:00:03,742
All right,
so we replaced your pads,

2
00:00:03,786 --> 00:00:07,268
resurfaced your rotors,
and adjusted your calipers.

3
00:00:07,311 --> 00:00:10,401
Great. Please tell me that
means you fixed my brakes.

4
00:00:10,445 --> 00:00:13,796
[chuckles] Well, let's just say
I don't expect your car

5
00:00:13,839 --> 00:00:14,797
on my lawn again.

6
00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:16,233
[chuckles]

7
00:00:16,277 --> 00:00:18,801
You can go and settle this up
with Tina in the office.

8
00:00:18,844 --> 00:00:20,455
Your car's in the back
getting washed.

9
00:00:20,498 --> 00:00:22,979
Ooh, your shop
is so fancy.

10
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:25,373
Well, you also get a
complimentary air freshener.

11
00:00:25,416 --> 00:00:27,897
Pine tree,
cinnamon vanilla,

12
00:00:27,940 --> 00:00:31,205
or my personal favorite,
"New Calvin Smell."

13
00:00:32,945 --> 00:00:34,904
Is that like
"new car smell"?

14
00:00:34,947 --> 00:00:37,907
Yeah, but with notes
of cocoa butter and swagger.

15
00:00:37,950 --> 00:00:39,082
[both chuckle]

16
00:00:40,953 --> 00:00:43,739
Ooh, I've never seen
you at work before.

17
00:00:43,782 --> 00:00:46,133
Look at you,
Mrs. Businesswoman.

18
00:00:46,176 --> 00:00:48,570
Balancing the books,
invoicing suppliers...

19
00:00:48,613 --> 00:00:50,180
Girl, I'm on Facebook.

20
00:00:52,139 --> 00:00:54,402
My cousin just changed
her relationship status

21
00:00:54,445 --> 00:00:57,100
to "it's complicated,"
and we know what that means.

22
00:00:57,144 --> 00:00:59,842
Here comes the Bible quotes
and the bikini pictures.

23
00:00:59,885 --> 00:01:02,627
[chuckles] Calvin told
me to give you this.

24
00:01:02,671 --> 00:01:04,586
Oh, no, no.
Don't be ridiculous.

25
00:01:04,629 --> 00:01:06,196
We're not charging you.

26
00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:08,677
What are you talking
about? It's $300.

27
00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:12,985
Calvin rotored my caterpillars
and padded my surfaces.

28
00:01:13,986 --> 00:01:15,162
Gemma, we're friends, okay?

29
00:01:15,205 --> 00:01:16,815
Don't worry about it.

30
00:01:16,859 --> 00:01:19,122
No. Really, Tina,
I appreciate the thought,

31
00:01:19,166 --> 00:01:20,167
but I have to pay you.

32
00:01:20,210 --> 00:01:21,472
Gemma Johnson,

33
00:01:21,516 --> 00:01:23,170
I just called you a friend.

34
00:01:23,213 --> 00:01:25,128
And friends do things
for each other,

35
00:01:25,172 --> 00:01:28,305
so don't insult me when I'm
trying to show you some love.

36
00:01:28,349 --> 00:01:30,699
Are you sure?

37
00:01:30,742 --> 00:01:33,267
Girl, don't make me cut
your brake lines.

38
00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:35,965
Have you actually
ever done that?

39
00:01:37,009 --> 00:01:39,186
No.

40
00:01:40,274 --> 00:01:42,667
Well, in that case, thank you.

41
00:01:42,711 --> 00:01:44,321
You're welcome.

42
00:01:44,365 --> 00:01:46,541
Now come help me find
a Bible verse that says

43
00:01:46,584 --> 00:01:47,759
"Stick to a one-piece."

44
00:01:47,803 --> 00:01:49,805
[speaks indistinctly]

45
00:01:51,198 --> 00:01:52,242
Hey, Calvin.

46
00:01:52,286 --> 00:01:54,549
Oh. Thanks for taking
care of our car.

47
00:01:54,592 --> 00:01:55,767
Not a problem, Dave.

48
00:01:55,811 --> 00:01:57,247
You guys did a great job.

49
00:01:57,291 --> 00:01:58,901
We try.

50
00:01:58,944 --> 00:02:00,511
Oh, and thanks so much
for comping the bill.

51
00:02:00,555 --> 00:02:03,166
Oh, what's that, now?

52
00:02:03,210 --> 00:02:05,212
You know how you hooked us up
with the car.

53
00:02:05,255 --> 00:02:06,604
Who knew you were so generous?

54
00:02:06,648 --> 00:02:09,433
Not me.

55
00:02:09,477 --> 00:02:11,000
Well, I owe you one.

56
00:02:11,043 --> 00:02:13,611
You owe me a lot more than one.

57
00:02:13,655 --> 00:02:15,091
What's that, buddy?

58
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,919
Oh, nothing, buddy.

59
00:02:19,269 --> 00:02:22,185
Tina!

60
00:02:22,229 --> 00:02:24,144
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪

61
00:02:24,187 --> 00:02:25,145
♪ Welcome to the hood.

62
00:02:30,628 --> 00:02:33,109
Tina! Tina!

63
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:36,939
Ooh, Dad seems
pissed. We should go.

64
00:02:36,982 --> 00:02:40,508
Yeah, Dad seems pissed.
We should stay.

65
00:02:40,551 --> 00:02:41,944
What are you yelling about?

66
00:02:41,987 --> 00:02:46,340
Is Leon selling meat out
of the back of his van again?

67
00:02:46,383 --> 00:02:49,081
Did you tell the Johnsons they
didn't have to pay their bill?

68
00:02:49,125 --> 00:02:50,213
Yeah. Why?

69
00:02:50,257 --> 00:02:51,649
Why?

70
00:02:51,693 --> 00:02:54,652
Because 300 bucks
is a lot of money.

71
00:02:54,696 --> 00:02:57,307
That's like 60 rib eyes.

72
00:02:57,351 --> 00:02:59,483
Wait, so those steaks
are five bucks apiece?

73
00:02:59,527 --> 00:03:01,355
Yeah, Pop, that's
not real meat.

74
00:03:04,314 --> 00:03:05,707
Gemma's my friend.

75
00:03:05,750 --> 00:03:07,143
It's not like we're
hurting for money.

76
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,189
It's not about the money.

77
00:03:09,232 --> 00:03:11,321
It's about that
you didn't ask me.

78
00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:14,803
Why do I have to ask you?

79
00:03:14,846 --> 00:03:16,326
Because I'm the boss.

80
00:03:17,632 --> 00:03:20,069
Yep, Mom is pissed.
We should go.

81
00:03:21,157 --> 00:03:23,464
Yeah.
This time I agree.

82
00:03:24,813 --> 00:03:27,642
Calvin, I didn't realize
I had a boss.

83
00:03:27,685 --> 00:03:29,339
I thought I had
a business partner.

84
00:03:29,383 --> 00:03:30,906
Babe, you know
what I'm saying.

85
00:03:30,949 --> 00:03:33,169
All right? It, it's
a division of labor.

86
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:34,823
Mm-hmm.I'm the boss at the shop.

87
00:03:34,866 --> 00:03:37,042
You're the boss
here at home.

88
00:03:37,086 --> 00:03:39,828
[laughs]

89
00:03:39,871 --> 00:03:41,873
[both laughing]

90
00:03:48,315 --> 00:03:49,838
Wha-- Why-why
are we laughing?

91
00:03:49,881 --> 00:03:51,448
Oh...

92
00:03:51,492 --> 00:03:54,103
'Cause you thought
I would buy that nonsense.

93
00:03:55,974 --> 00:04:01,719
Calvin Butler, love of my life,
partner at home and at work...

94
00:04:01,763 --> 00:04:04,244
I made a decision

95
00:04:04,287 --> 00:04:07,769
and I expect for you
to respect that.

96
00:04:07,812 --> 00:04:09,510
[knocking on door]

97
00:04:11,338 --> 00:04:13,122
Okay, so was that
a "I love you" kiss

98
00:04:13,165 --> 00:04:15,080
or a "you need
to let this go" kiss?

99
00:04:15,124 --> 00:04:16,778
We'll go with both.

100
00:04:18,170 --> 00:04:19,128
Hey, guys.

101
00:04:19,171 --> 00:04:20,782
Hi.
Hey.

102
00:04:20,825 --> 00:04:22,697
We just wanted to stop by
and say thanks again

103
00:04:22,740 --> 00:04:24,873
for taking such good care
of us down at the shop.

104
00:04:24,916 --> 00:04:26,918
Aw, don't be ridiculous.

105
00:04:26,962 --> 00:04:28,703
It's our pleasure.
Right, Calvin?

106
00:04:30,792 --> 00:04:32,533
300%.

107
00:04:34,752 --> 00:04:36,928
But, you know, we
talked about it,

108
00:04:36,972 --> 00:04:39,148
and it just feels wrong
to let you do it for free.

109
00:04:39,191 --> 00:04:40,671
[quietly]:
All right.

110
00:04:40,715 --> 00:04:44,762
Which is why we want to have you
over for dinner tomorrow.

111
00:04:46,808 --> 00:04:49,898
Well, that's
wonderful.

112
00:04:49,941 --> 00:04:51,943
We'll bring the wine.
You want to pick one out?

113
00:04:51,987 --> 00:04:54,772
Ooh, I don't know. We
might have to taste it first.

114
00:04:54,816 --> 00:04:56,731
I might need to taste it twice.

115
00:04:56,774 --> 00:04:59,603
[chuckling]

116
00:04:59,647 --> 00:05:00,735
[Calvin chuckles]

117
00:05:02,171 --> 00:05:03,825
I want that money, Dave.

118
00:05:06,523 --> 00:05:07,655
What?

119
00:05:07,698 --> 00:05:09,831
And don't tell our wives.

120
00:05:09,874 --> 00:05:11,311
I tell Gemma everything.

121
00:05:11,354 --> 00:05:13,095
Even when she asks me not to.

122
00:05:13,138 --> 00:05:16,968
Well, on behalf of both of us,
keep your mouth shut.

123
00:05:19,493 --> 00:05:21,756
So, if the chicken
had six eggs,

124
00:05:21,799 --> 00:05:23,584
and the farmer
took away five,

125
00:05:23,627 --> 00:05:25,325
what did the
chicken have left?

126
00:05:25,368 --> 00:05:28,502
Where do chicken babies
come from?

127
00:05:28,545 --> 00:05:33,855
Oh. Well, that's
an interesting question.

128
00:05:33,898 --> 00:05:36,031
You see, instead of genitals...

129
00:05:37,946 --> 00:05:44,082
...hens and roosters have a
special hole called a cloaca...

130
00:05:44,126 --> 00:05:48,478
that's used for both going to
the bathroom and making babies.

131
00:05:48,522 --> 00:05:50,698
If you don't know, just say so.

132
00:05:54,832 --> 00:05:58,445
Did he just trick me
into finishing his homework?

133
00:06:01,883 --> 00:06:03,101
Hey, Gemma.

134
00:06:03,145 --> 00:06:04,799
Hey, sweetie.

135
00:06:04,842 --> 00:06:07,758
Uh, I was thinking.

136
00:06:07,802 --> 00:06:09,847
You know, maybe we pay Calvin

137
00:06:09,891 --> 00:06:11,327
for the work
that he did on the car.

138
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,589
I asked,

139
00:06:12,633 --> 00:06:13,590
but Tina threatened
to cut my brake lines.

140
00:06:15,070 --> 00:06:16,985
I think, playfully.

141
00:06:19,204 --> 00:06:22,643
I know, it's just--
it's the principle of the thing.

142
00:06:22,686 --> 00:06:24,253
You know, where I come from,
a man gets paid

143
00:06:24,296 --> 00:06:25,820
for the work that he does.

144
00:06:25,863 --> 00:06:29,040
First of all, we come
from the same place.

145
00:06:30,607 --> 00:06:32,740
[chuckles]
Uh, hello.

146
00:06:32,783 --> 00:06:36,091
East Kalamazoo is an entirely
different world

147
00:06:36,134 --> 00:06:39,442
from Hickory Corners.

148
00:06:39,486 --> 00:06:41,313
And second, it would be rude.

149
00:06:41,357 --> 00:06:43,794
Tina explicitly said she didn't
want us to pay.

150
00:06:43,838 --> 00:06:45,361
I know, but people say things

151
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:47,015
that they don't mean
all the time.

152
00:06:47,058 --> 00:06:49,321
Like, when I floated the idea of
becoming an amateur beekeeper,

153
00:06:49,365 --> 00:06:51,454
and you told me to do
what I want.

154
00:06:51,498 --> 00:06:53,717
You're right.
I definitely didn't mean that.

155
00:06:55,197 --> 00:06:56,285
See?

156
00:06:56,328 --> 00:06:57,852
And how many times
did you get stung?

157
00:06:59,636 --> 00:07:02,378
We still don't know
that those were my bees.

158
00:07:03,945 --> 00:07:06,817
So we agree.
We're not paying them, right?

159
00:07:06,861 --> 00:07:08,340
[sighs]

160
00:07:08,384 --> 00:07:09,516
Okay.

161
00:07:09,559 --> 00:07:11,387
Good. Now I'm gonna
go tuck in Grover,

162
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,476
before he starts looking
for his cloaca.

163
00:07:15,260 --> 00:07:18,525
Yeah, Malcolm and Marty.

164
00:07:18,568 --> 00:07:21,484
What do the Butler boys got
crackalackin' tonight?

165
00:07:21,528 --> 00:07:23,921
Well, Marty and I are checking
out this new dating app.

166
00:07:23,965 --> 00:07:27,011
You would not believe all
the fine women on here.

167
00:07:27,055 --> 00:07:28,273
Ooh-ooh!

168
00:07:28,317 --> 00:07:31,363
Excuse me.
Are these seats taken?

169
00:07:31,407 --> 00:07:33,278
Yeah, I think there was
some guy here or something.

170
00:07:34,628 --> 00:07:38,458
What? What?

171
00:07:38,501 --> 00:07:40,764
What the hell is
wrong with you two?

172
00:07:42,070 --> 00:07:43,941
You online shopping when

173
00:07:43,985 --> 00:07:46,422
you already in the mall.

174
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,032
Look, the game has
changed, Ernie.

175
00:07:48,076 --> 00:07:50,426
We would have to have a whole
conversation with those girls

176
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,167
to find out if
we were a match.

177
00:07:52,210 --> 00:07:54,212
Yeah, but with the app,
we already know,

178
00:07:54,256 --> 00:07:55,823
and we just swipe right.Mmm.

179
00:07:55,866 --> 00:07:58,826
Well, back in my day, if
a woman didn't like you,

180
00:07:58,869 --> 00:08:00,958
she literally
swiped you away.

181
00:08:01,002 --> 00:08:03,221
Once, I got swiped off a boat.

182
00:08:04,396 --> 00:08:07,487
[phone buzzes and dings]Oh! I got my first match.

183
00:08:07,530 --> 00:08:09,837
Oh, she is fine.
She likes baseball,

184
00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:12,579
she's into poetry,
and her name is Ebony.

185
00:08:12,622 --> 00:08:13,536
[phone buzzes and beeps]

186
00:08:13,580 --> 00:08:16,278
Ha-ha! Houston,
we have liftoff.

187
00:08:16,321 --> 00:08:17,409
I got a match, too.

188
00:08:17,453 --> 00:08:20,500
Yeah, her name
is... Ebony.

189
00:08:24,721 --> 00:08:25,766
Oh...

190
00:08:25,809 --> 00:08:27,898
let the games begin.

191
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:34,165
Dave.

192
00:08:34,209 --> 00:08:36,559
Dave.
Where are you?

193
00:08:36,603 --> 00:08:38,256
I'm right here.
What?
[muttering]

194
00:08:43,261 --> 00:08:44,480
Why you scaring me
like that?

195
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,090
Sorry. Sorry.

196
00:08:46,134 --> 00:08:47,918
I'm on the down-low.

197
00:08:50,921 --> 00:08:53,358
Just so you know,

198
00:08:53,402 --> 00:08:55,578
in this neighborhood, that
doesn't mean what you think.

199
00:08:57,624 --> 00:08:58,973
Whatever. Look...

200
00:08:59,016 --> 00:09:00,540
Got your money.Great.

201
00:09:00,583 --> 00:09:02,106
But I can't give
it to you.

202
00:09:02,150 --> 00:09:04,195
Why not?

203
00:09:04,239 --> 00:09:06,589
Because Gemma wants to
respect Tina's decision.

204
00:09:06,633 --> 00:09:07,634
So you see
my situation.

205
00:09:07,677 --> 00:09:08,722
I want to pay you.

206
00:09:10,071 --> 00:09:12,595
But I can't.

207
00:09:12,639 --> 00:09:15,555
Dave, why are you
wasting my time right now?

208
00:09:15,598 --> 00:09:18,079
Because I believe that paying
you is the right thing to do.

209
00:09:18,122 --> 00:09:20,081
A man deserves to be paid
for the work that he does.

210
00:09:20,124 --> 00:09:22,344
Okay, so give me the money.

211
00:09:22,387 --> 00:09:25,521
But, then I'd be going
behind my wife's back,

212
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,610
and I don't think that's the
right thing to do, either.

213
00:09:27,654 --> 00:09:29,830
Oh... okay.

214
00:09:29,873 --> 00:09:32,615
I see, you one
of those kind of dudes.

215
00:09:32,659 --> 00:09:34,182
What do you mean?

216
00:09:34,225 --> 00:09:37,881
Oh, you know, the kind that's
afraid to do the right thing,

217
00:09:37,925 --> 00:09:40,144
so you hide behind your wife.

218
00:09:45,541 --> 00:09:48,936
Are you calling me a
Hickory Corners kind of man?

219
00:09:55,507 --> 00:09:59,947
That is as confusing to me
as "the down-low" is to you.

220
00:10:01,775 --> 00:10:03,341
Okay, you know what?
Fine. Here.

221
00:10:03,385 --> 00:10:04,734
Look. Take the money.Cool.

222
00:10:04,778 --> 00:10:06,649
But just so you know,
I feel super guilty,

223
00:10:06,693 --> 00:10:08,259
because I've never
lied to Gemma before.

224
00:10:08,303 --> 00:10:09,696
Plus...

225
00:10:09,739 --> 00:10:10,871
I'm a terrible liar.

226
00:10:10,914 --> 00:10:12,568
What are you
guys doing?

227
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:15,702
W-We're just having a late night
meeting for our recycling club.

228
00:10:16,746 --> 00:10:19,444
Oh. Cool.

229
00:10:21,316 --> 00:10:23,666
I just lied to my son!

230
00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:24,928
I feel horrible.

231
00:10:24,972 --> 00:10:25,929
Yeah.

232
00:10:25,973 --> 00:10:27,888
So do I.
Really?

233
00:10:27,931 --> 00:10:29,716
No.

234
00:10:29,759 --> 00:10:32,153
See? That's how you lie.

235
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:44,687
Oh!

236
00:10:46,863 --> 00:10:49,083
We've done
a horrible thing.

237
00:10:49,126 --> 00:10:51,651
I need to put
a bell on you.

238
00:10:51,694 --> 00:10:55,045
I feel so guilty about lying
to Gemma, sneaking around

239
00:10:55,089 --> 00:10:57,352
on her
on the down-low.

240
00:10:58,396 --> 00:11:00,834
Okay, you've got to
stop saying that,

241
00:11:00,877 --> 00:11:02,879
or look up what it means.

242
00:11:04,533 --> 00:11:06,143
I can't even look her
in the eye.

243
00:11:06,187 --> 00:11:09,407
I spent all breakfast
focusing on her left nostril.

244
00:11:09,451 --> 00:11:10,844
I can't do this
anymore, Calvin.

245
00:11:10,887 --> 00:11:12,672
I have to tell her

246
00:11:12,715 --> 00:11:16,371
about this and that
stray nose hair.

247
00:11:16,414 --> 00:11:18,329
Look, you've already
committed the crime.

248
00:11:18,373 --> 00:11:20,288
There's no way
you can undo it.

249
00:11:20,331 --> 00:11:22,290
You could give me
back the money.

250
00:11:22,333 --> 00:11:25,467
Like I said, there's
no way you can undo it.

251
00:11:25,510 --> 00:11:28,035
But...
Look, Dave,

252
00:11:28,078 --> 00:11:30,472
how will knowing the truth
make Gemma feel?

253
00:11:30,515 --> 00:11:33,040
I don't know, hurt,
angry, betrayed.

254
00:11:33,083 --> 00:11:37,000
Exactly, so by you telling her,
all you'll be doing

255
00:11:37,044 --> 00:11:39,699
is making yourself
feel better.

256
00:11:39,742 --> 00:11:41,788
I guess.

257
00:11:41,831 --> 00:11:45,530
Be a good husband, Dave.
Keep lying to your wife.

258
00:11:47,228 --> 00:11:49,534
I just wish that lying
came easier to me.

259
00:11:49,578 --> 00:11:50,797
Oh, hey, Dave,
what are you doing here?

260
00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:52,494
Calvin and I are gonna
donate blood.

261
00:11:54,626 --> 00:11:56,541
Oh, really?
That's great.

262
00:11:56,585 --> 00:11:58,718
I've been trying to get him
to go for years.

263
00:11:58,761 --> 00:11:59,849
So what's your secret, Dave?

264
00:11:59,893 --> 00:12:01,242
My secret?
I don't have a secret.

265
00:12:01,285 --> 00:12:02,896
I'm not feeling too well.
Anybody else feel dizzy?

266
00:12:06,029 --> 00:12:08,423
Well, it sounds like you
shouldn't be giving blood.

267
00:12:08,466 --> 00:12:10,294
Calvin, looks like you
got to go without him.

268
00:12:10,338 --> 00:12:11,382
[laughing]:
Okay.

269
00:12:11,426 --> 00:12:13,123
All right.

270
00:12:13,167 --> 00:12:14,124
I'll make sure

271
00:12:14,168 --> 00:12:15,822
he gives some later.

272
00:12:18,825 --> 00:12:21,566
You've been on that phone
since I got home from work.

273
00:12:21,610 --> 00:12:23,133
What's going on?

274
00:12:23,177 --> 00:12:25,005
Just asking out this girl
I met on this app last night.

275
00:12:25,048 --> 00:12:27,094
Oh, nice.
What's her name?

276
00:12:27,137 --> 00:12:28,573
Ebony.

277
00:12:28,617 --> 00:12:31,620
Good. You just answered
my next question.

278
00:12:34,971 --> 00:12:36,625
[vocalizing]

279
00:12:36,668 --> 00:12:38,366
Hey, guys.

280
00:12:38,409 --> 00:12:40,934
Hey, baby. I just finished
folding your laundry.

281
00:12:40,977 --> 00:12:43,023
Oh, good, 'cause I think
my lucky shirt's in there,

282
00:12:43,066 --> 00:12:45,634
and I'm-a need it for my date
with Ebony. [chuckles]

283
00:12:47,592 --> 00:12:49,420
Huh.

284
00:12:49,464 --> 00:12:52,989
What are the odds of you both
talking to girls named Eb...?

285
00:12:56,384 --> 00:12:57,689
Aw, hell no.

286
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:02,129
You both got my hopes up
for nothing.

287
00:13:02,172 --> 00:13:03,565
That girl's a ho.

288
00:13:03,608 --> 00:13:05,523
No, she's not.

289
00:13:05,567 --> 00:13:07,525
Oh, yeah? What kind of girl

290
00:13:07,569 --> 00:13:09,527
dates two brothers
at the same time?

291
00:13:09,571 --> 00:13:10,746
She doesn't know
we're brothers.

292
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:13,575
Yeah, Mom, that
would be weird.

293
00:13:15,577 --> 00:13:17,709
You know, I-I-I can't
believe you two.

294
00:13:17,753 --> 00:13:20,103
You mean to tell me that,
in a world full of women,

295
00:13:20,147 --> 00:13:22,279
you'll seriously risk
your relationship

296
00:13:22,323 --> 00:13:23,846
fighting over the same girl?

297
00:13:24,934 --> 00:13:25,935
Definitely.
Yes.

298
00:13:25,979 --> 00:13:27,371
Yes.
Absolutely.

299
00:13:29,025 --> 00:13:31,419
So, how you
holding up, man?

300
00:13:31,462 --> 00:13:33,116
Terrible.

301
00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:34,944
I still can't look
Gemma in the eye.

302
00:13:34,988 --> 00:13:36,206
I feel like she's gonna know.

303
00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:38,295
Don't you go
Hickory Corners on me.

304
00:13:41,385 --> 00:13:44,258
This is so nice.
Thanks again for having us.

305
00:13:44,301 --> 00:13:46,303
Oh, please. It's our pleasure.
Right, Dave?

306
00:13:46,347 --> 00:13:48,697
[chuckles]:
Yeah.

307
00:13:55,486 --> 00:13:57,662
What are you
looking at, Dave?

308
00:13:57,706 --> 00:13:59,403
There's a bug.

309
00:14:00,317 --> 00:14:01,536
Oh-oh, yeah,

310
00:14:01,579 --> 00:14:03,973
yeah, I see it, too.
It's, uh... Oh!

311
00:14:04,017 --> 00:14:05,235
There. Got it.

312
00:14:05,279 --> 00:14:08,064
Calvin.
What?

313
00:14:08,108 --> 00:14:10,240
It looked like the bitey kind.

314
00:14:10,284 --> 00:14:12,286
West Nile is in these streets.

315
00:14:14,288 --> 00:14:16,246
You know what,
we should toast.

316
00:14:16,290 --> 00:14:18,335
Dave, why don't you pour
everyone some more wine?

317
00:14:18,379 --> 00:14:20,598
Yeah, that's a great idea.

318
00:14:21,991 --> 00:14:23,253
Okay.

319
00:14:23,297 --> 00:14:24,907
Calvin, here you go.

320
00:14:24,951 --> 00:14:27,388
Tina.
Thank you.

321
00:14:27,431 --> 00:14:28,258
Dear...

322
00:14:28,302 --> 00:14:30,260
[gasps] Dave!
Oh, no!

323
00:14:30,304 --> 00:14:31,522
I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I'm so sorry..

324
00:14:31,566 --> 00:14:33,350
I got to go
clean this up.Oh, my goodness.

325
00:14:33,394 --> 00:14:35,526
I'm so sorry.It got all over your couch--
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa!

326
00:14:35,570 --> 00:14:36,745
Wrong wife, Dave.

327
00:14:42,969 --> 00:14:44,274
Dude.

328
00:14:44,318 --> 00:14:46,233
What is wrong
with you, man?

329
00:14:46,276 --> 00:14:48,365
You got to pull
it together.
I can't!

330
00:14:48,409 --> 00:14:52,282
My hands are all sweaty, my
heart is pounding in my throat.

331
00:14:52,326 --> 00:14:56,330
Oh, you mean like the way I felt
when I had to give blood today?

332
00:14:58,985 --> 00:15:00,203
Huh?

333
00:15:01,639 --> 00:15:04,468
It took her four stabs
to find a vein.

334
00:15:06,427 --> 00:15:10,039
What is up with Dave?
He's been acting so weird.

335
00:15:10,083 --> 00:15:12,302
Yeah, even for him.

336
00:15:12,346 --> 00:15:15,436
You know, Calvin's
been acting funny, too.

337
00:15:15,479 --> 00:15:16,872
How?

338
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:19,483
Well, if a mosquito
was gonna give Dave West Nile,

339
00:15:19,527 --> 00:15:21,268
I don't think Calvin
would stop it.

340
00:15:23,357 --> 00:15:25,402
Maybe it's because
they're in the same club.

341
00:15:25,446 --> 00:15:26,795
What club?

342
00:15:26,838 --> 00:15:29,189
The recycling club.

343
00:15:29,232 --> 00:15:31,278
I saw them outside last night
whispering about it.

344
00:15:33,323 --> 00:15:35,412
Oh, really?

345
00:15:35,456 --> 00:15:38,502
Yeah, then Dad gave
Mr. Calvin some money.

346
00:15:41,984 --> 00:15:43,464
How much money?

347
00:15:43,507 --> 00:15:47,120
I don't know, probably like
a million dollars.

348
00:15:48,512 --> 00:15:49,905
Hmm.

349
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,907
Okay, sweetie, why don't you
run off to bed?

350
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:55,345
Okay... but save that
empty bottle for me.

351
00:15:55,389 --> 00:15:57,913
I want to join that club
and get paid.

352
00:16:02,048 --> 00:16:04,746
You know, that little boy is
getting blacker and blacker.

353
00:16:06,008 --> 00:16:08,402
I can't believe
Dave gave Calvin that money.

354
00:16:08,445 --> 00:16:11,492
I specifically told him I was
trying to honor our friendship.

355
00:16:11,535 --> 00:16:13,320
I told Calvin the same thing,

356
00:16:13,363 --> 00:16:15,278
but apparently their egos
are more important.

357
00:16:15,322 --> 00:16:17,367
This could have gotten
really ugly.

358
00:16:17,411 --> 00:16:19,195
If you'd found out
about Dave paying Calvin

359
00:16:19,239 --> 00:16:20,805
and thought that
I was okay with it...

360
00:16:20,849 --> 00:16:22,024
I would've been pissed.

361
00:16:22,068 --> 00:16:23,721
Yeah, and then we would've
been in a fight.

362
00:16:23,765 --> 00:16:25,985
[chuckles]
Not a real one.

363
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:29,162
You don't want
to catch these hands.

364
00:16:30,163 --> 00:16:31,773
And all because of them.

365
00:16:31,816 --> 00:16:33,427
They should be taught a lesson.

366
00:16:33,470 --> 00:16:34,602
How?

367
00:16:34,645 --> 00:16:36,821
Maybe we should get
into a fight.

368
00:16:36,865 --> 00:16:40,825
Okay. But I don't want
to catch those hands.

369
00:16:44,307 --> 00:16:47,136
Come on, man, look, we just
have to make it through dinner

370
00:16:47,180 --> 00:16:49,008
and we never have to
see each other again.

371
00:16:53,099 --> 00:16:55,188
How is that gonna
fix my problem?

372
00:16:55,231 --> 00:16:58,365
It doesn't.
It fixes mine.

373
00:16:58,408 --> 00:17:01,498
You know, I cannot believe you,
Gemma Johnson!

374
00:17:01,542 --> 00:17:03,370
We're supposed to be
friends, but you're...

375
00:17:03,413 --> 00:17:05,154
you're just the liar next door.

376
00:17:06,547 --> 00:17:08,375
We are friends, Tina.

377
00:17:08,418 --> 00:17:10,638
You have to believe me,
I didn't know.

378
00:17:10,681 --> 00:17:12,118
Okay, what is going on?

379
00:17:12,161 --> 00:17:14,337
I found out the truth
that Dave gave you the money.

380
00:17:14,381 --> 00:17:17,688
Oh, okay.
Oh, God.

381
00:17:17,732 --> 00:17:21,388
And that Gemma was the one
who forced you both to do it.

382
00:17:21,431 --> 00:17:22,693
Yes.
What?

383
00:17:22,737 --> 00:17:24,521
Yes, it was her.

384
00:17:25,522 --> 00:17:27,002
You know what, Tina?

385
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:29,570
I am sick of you
and your false accusations.

386
00:17:29,613 --> 00:17:32,312
Disrespect me one more time
and see what happens.

387
00:17:35,445 --> 00:17:39,145
Oh, really, you little
fake-ass Barbie?

388
00:17:39,188 --> 00:17:40,450
[gasps]

389
00:17:40,494 --> 00:17:42,887
What you gonna do?

390
00:17:42,931 --> 00:17:44,150
Tell me what you gonna do.

391
00:17:44,193 --> 00:17:45,934
Oh, I'll tell you
what I'm gonna do.

392
00:17:45,977 --> 00:17:47,588
I'm gonna make you
catch these hands.

393
00:17:47,631 --> 00:17:49,459
Whoa, whoa, whoa![overlapping shouting]

394
00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:51,157
Did you hear what
she said to me?!

395
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:52,549
Tina, please.

396
00:17:52,593 --> 00:17:55,813
Gemma had nothing
to do with this.

397
00:17:55,857 --> 00:17:57,598
She didn't?

398
00:17:57,641 --> 00:17:58,773
No.

399
00:17:58,816 --> 00:18:00,992
Is this true, Calvin?

400
00:18:01,036 --> 00:18:03,517
Yeah, he's right, babe.

401
00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:04,692
It was all Dave.

402
00:18:09,131 --> 00:18:11,655
Seriously, Calvin?

403
00:18:11,699 --> 00:18:14,484
Look, fine,
it was both of us.

404
00:18:14,528 --> 00:18:15,964
We're really sorry.

405
00:18:21,622 --> 00:18:24,451
Yay! [laughs]
We got you!

406
00:18:24,494 --> 00:18:25,930
We were just pretending
to fight.

407
00:18:25,974 --> 00:18:28,455
Oh, my God!
You were so good.

408
00:18:28,498 --> 00:18:30,152
Oh, my God, no,
you were so good.

409
00:18:30,196 --> 00:18:31,588
"The liar next door."

410
00:18:31,632 --> 00:18:34,243
You know, that just came
to me in the moment.

411
00:18:34,287 --> 00:18:35,853
Oh, my God,
you're so good.Now, hold on.

412
00:18:35,897 --> 00:18:39,422
This whole thing was fake just
to make us look like fools?

413
00:18:39,466 --> 00:18:41,163
Yeah, and it worked.
[laughs]

414
00:18:43,557 --> 00:18:45,733
My heart is racing.

415
00:18:45,776 --> 00:18:48,039
Oh, my God, I'm pumped.
Let's go out.

416
00:18:48,083 --> 00:18:50,738
Yeah, maybe get
into a real fight.

417
00:18:50,781 --> 00:18:52,566
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
slow your roll, Gemma.

418
00:18:53,654 --> 00:18:54,872
Hold up,

419
00:18:54,916 --> 00:18:56,265
y'all just
gonna leave us?

420
00:18:56,309 --> 00:18:59,138
Hell yeah. You two totally
went behind our backs

421
00:18:59,181 --> 00:19:01,966
when we were supposed
to be partners.

422
00:19:02,010 --> 00:19:04,186
Yeah, Dave, if I wanted
to marry a liar,

423
00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:06,319
I would have stayed
in Hickory Corners.

424
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:13,891
Damn, dude, how
bad is that place?

425
00:19:20,463 --> 00:19:25,120
So, um, how was your date
with Ebony? I bet it sucked.

426
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:26,904
Au contraire, mon frère.

427
00:19:26,948 --> 00:19:28,515
It was like something
out of a movie, okay?

428
00:19:28,558 --> 00:19:31,257
Think Romeo and Juliet
meets Lady and the Tramp.

429
00:19:31,300 --> 00:19:33,433
Oh, so you guys
had spaghetti

430
00:19:33,476 --> 00:19:35,913
and then she killed herself?

431
00:19:37,263 --> 00:19:38,307
No.

432
00:19:38,351 --> 00:19:39,874
We went to the park
with her dogs,

433
00:19:39,917 --> 00:19:42,224
and their names
are Romeo and Juliet.

434
00:19:42,268 --> 00:19:45,009
That sounds super lame.
[laughs]

435
00:19:45,053 --> 00:19:47,403
Well, that long hug
I got at the end wasn't.

436
00:19:47,447 --> 00:19:48,622
What'd you guys do?

437
00:19:48,665 --> 00:19:50,667
Well... [clears throat]
I picked her up...

438
00:19:50,711 --> 00:19:53,279
On the bus.

439
00:19:53,322 --> 00:19:54,976
We went to a poetry reading...

440
00:19:55,019 --> 00:19:56,282
That was free.

441
00:19:56,325 --> 00:19:58,371
And then I dropped her off
at her place...

442
00:19:58,414 --> 00:19:59,589
Because you don't have your own.

443
00:19:59,633 --> 00:20:00,764
[chuckles]

444
00:20:00,808 --> 00:20:03,027
[overlapping arguing]

445
00:20:03,071 --> 00:20:05,378
Malcolm? Marty?

446
00:20:05,421 --> 00:20:07,249
Ebony?
Hey.

447
00:20:07,293 --> 00:20:09,512
You guys know
each other?Uh, yeah.

448
00:20:09,556 --> 00:20:10,600
How?

449
00:20:10,644 --> 00:20:12,515
Well...
Well, uh...

450
00:20:12,559 --> 00:20:13,908
We-we-we...

451
00:20:13,951 --> 00:20:15,344
Oh, they brothers.

452
00:20:16,998 --> 00:20:18,695
Are you ready,
beautiful?

453
00:20:18,739 --> 00:20:21,481
What?Now-now, wait-wait-wait,
wait a second.

454
00:20:21,524 --> 00:20:22,960
How do you two know each other?

455
00:20:23,004 --> 00:20:25,441
Oh, we're a match. Yeah.

456
00:20:25,485 --> 00:20:27,269
Turns out I do like
online shopping.

457
00:20:27,313 --> 00:20:29,402
[chuckles]

458
00:20:31,665 --> 00:20:33,493
Wow.

459
00:20:33,536 --> 00:20:35,843
[sighs]

460
00:20:35,886 --> 00:20:37,975
Well, maybe that's
for the best.

461
00:20:38,019 --> 00:20:40,413
You know what? Yeah, you're
right. I mean, we're brothers.

462
00:20:40,456 --> 00:20:42,023
Right.
[both laugh]

463
00:20:42,066 --> 00:20:44,373
[phones chime]Oh, please, not again.

464
00:20:44,417 --> 00:20:45,635
Okay,

465
00:20:45,679 --> 00:20:48,334
let's just look
and say the names on three.

466
00:20:48,377 --> 00:20:50,249
Ready?
Okay.

467
00:20:50,292 --> 00:20:51,511
BOTH:
One... two... three.

468
00:20:51,554 --> 00:20:53,513
Laura!
[sighs]
Tracey! Oh, God,
thank you.

469
00:20:53,556 --> 00:20:55,471
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

470
00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:02,043
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
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