1
00:00:02,611 --> 00:00:05,222
Oh, baby,
look what's in this box.

2
00:00:05,266 --> 00:00:08,051
It's all of Marty and Malcolm's
old school projects.

3
00:00:08,095 --> 00:00:09,009
[chuckles]

4
00:00:09,052 --> 00:00:11,359
I remember staying
up all night

5
00:00:11,402 --> 00:00:13,448
helping Malcolm build
this volcano.
[laughs]

6
00:00:13,491 --> 00:00:16,364
You know we even got spaghetti
sauce to shoot out the top?

7
00:00:16,407 --> 00:00:18,148
Aw, I remember.

8
00:00:18,192 --> 00:00:21,543
And Marty scraped it
off the walls with garlic bread.

9
00:00:21,586 --> 00:00:24,241
[clicks tongue]Those were some good
memories, weren't they?

10
00:00:24,285 --> 00:00:25,329
Yeah.
Real good memories.

11
00:00:25,373 --> 00:00:28,680
Ah, it's trash.

12
00:00:28,724 --> 00:00:30,856
How could you just
throw that away?

13
00:00:30,900 --> 00:00:32,684
Those were some special memories
of Malcolm.

14
00:00:32,728 --> 00:00:34,077
Why we need memories?

15
00:00:34,121 --> 00:00:36,645
The real thing is laying
on our couch right now.

16
00:00:38,603 --> 00:00:39,778
Ha ha!

17
00:00:39,822 --> 00:00:41,476
Look at this, baby,
my old beeper.

18
00:00:41,519 --> 00:00:44,435
You know, I remember
when you used to blow me up

19
00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:48,135
whenever you wanted
a little late-night booty call.

20
00:00:48,178 --> 00:00:49,745
I never had your beeper number.

21
00:00:51,442 --> 00:00:53,618
Well, look at that. You know
what? This ain't even my beeper.

22
00:00:54,663 --> 00:00:57,274
Trash. Yep. Let's go.

23
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:01,365
Ooh, ahoy, Captain Calvin!

24
00:01:01,409 --> 00:01:03,367
Hey, Dave.

25
00:01:03,411 --> 00:01:04,977
Just getting my daily steps in.

26
00:01:05,021 --> 00:01:07,763
Well, you can get in a bunch
more if you just keep walking.

27
00:01:09,808 --> 00:01:12,333
You know, I am actually
a few steps short.

28
00:01:12,376 --> 00:01:13,725
Good.

29
00:01:16,815 --> 00:01:18,121
Uh, Dave, Dave, Dave, stop that.

30
00:01:18,165 --> 00:01:19,688
You're making me dizzy.
Stop circling me.

31
00:01:19,731 --> 00:01:21,037
Yeah, no problem.
I'll go the other way.

32
00:01:23,909 --> 00:01:25,476
Whoa.

33
00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:26,825
You throwing
all this stuff out?

34
00:01:26,869 --> 00:01:28,958
Yeah, it's just
a bunch of trash.

35
00:01:29,001 --> 00:01:31,265
Well, maybe to you,
but not to everyone.

36
00:01:31,308 --> 00:01:32,614
You know what?

37
00:01:32,657 --> 00:01:33,919
You should have a yard sale.

38
00:01:33,963 --> 00:01:35,530
A yard sale?

39
00:01:35,573 --> 00:01:36,966
In this neighborhood?
I don't think so.

40
00:01:37,009 --> 00:01:39,403
[chuckles] Why, what's wrong
with our neighborhood?

41
00:01:39,447 --> 00:01:41,884
Oh, nothing. Nothing. There's
a lot of good people here.

42
00:01:41,927 --> 00:01:44,104
You know, hardworking,
God-fearing,

43
00:01:44,147 --> 00:01:45,975
and I wouldn't trust
a single one of them.

44
00:01:47,542 --> 00:01:49,152
And I don't want
to waste my time

45
00:01:49,196 --> 00:01:50,980
with a bunch of people
trying to hustle me

46
00:01:51,023 --> 00:01:52,373
so I can make a few bucks.

47
00:01:52,416 --> 00:01:54,810
Hustle you? Oh, come on,
Calvin, that's crazy.

48
00:01:54,853 --> 00:01:56,942
Oh. You want
to hear some crazy? Okay.

49
00:01:56,986 --> 00:01:58,857
You see that
house down there?

50
00:01:58,901 --> 00:02:01,208
They claimed Malcolm
and Marty on their taxes

51
00:02:01,251 --> 00:02:02,731
six years straight.

52
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:06,387
And see those wires
hanging from there?

53
00:02:06,430 --> 00:02:09,651
That guy is stealing the
other family's cable.

54
00:02:09,694 --> 00:02:12,480
But they're running
an illegal day care,

55
00:02:12,523 --> 00:02:14,656
so they can't say nothing
about it.

56
00:02:14,699 --> 00:02:17,093
Oh, man, I thought
that was a beauty salon.

57
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,486
Oh, yeah, they do that, too.

58
00:02:18,529 --> 00:02:21,097
Look, man,

59
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:23,099
everybody around here's
just trying to get by.

60
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:26,058
I just don't want them
getting by on me.

61
00:02:26,102 --> 00:02:28,235
Well, I guess that's how
you and I are different, Calvin.

62
00:02:28,278 --> 00:02:30,933
I choose to believe that
the world isn't out to get me.

63
00:02:30,976 --> 00:02:32,761
[chuckles]:
Okay. You come see me

64
00:02:32,804 --> 00:02:35,285
once you find out Grover
cosigned for a motorcycle.

65
00:02:35,329 --> 00:02:37,896
[laughs]:
Yard sale.

66
00:02:37,940 --> 00:02:41,161
All right, man. I will
tell you, you know,

67
00:02:41,204 --> 00:02:44,686
last yard sale I had,
I cleared a cool grand.

68
00:02:44,729 --> 00:02:46,035
Hold on, hold up.

69
00:02:47,384 --> 00:02:49,038
You made 1,000 bucks?

70
00:02:49,081 --> 00:02:50,082
Oh, yeah. That's right.

71
00:02:50,126 --> 00:02:52,084
Well, ahoy, Dave.

72
00:02:52,128 --> 00:02:53,912
[chuckles]

73
00:02:53,956 --> 00:02:56,915
'Cause I know my crap's got
to be worth more than your crap.

74
00:02:56,959 --> 00:02:58,787
I'm having me a yard sale.

75
00:02:58,830 --> 00:03:00,354
Well, you know, I'm
happy to help out.

76
00:03:00,397 --> 00:03:01,790
Well, thank you.

77
00:03:01,833 --> 00:03:03,835
And in return,
I'm gonna do you a solid.

78
00:03:03,879 --> 00:03:07,187
You see that extension cord
running from your attic window?Yeah.

79
00:03:07,230 --> 00:03:09,450
You're supplying the power
to the day care.

80
00:03:11,930 --> 00:03:13,845
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪

81
00:03:13,889 --> 00:03:15,151
♪ Welcome to the hood.

82
00:03:19,721 --> 00:03:21,766
Ooh, this is gonna be great.
I can't wait to meet

83
00:03:21,810 --> 00:03:24,943
more of our neighbors.Me, neither.
Especially the ones

84
00:03:24,987 --> 00:03:27,337
named Benjamin,
Washington and Jackson.

85
00:03:28,382 --> 00:03:30,210
All right, Pop.

86
00:03:30,253 --> 00:03:32,603
Here you go. Good luck
with your yard sale, bro.

87
00:03:32,647 --> 00:03:34,605
Hold on, whoa.
Where are you going?

88
00:03:34,649 --> 00:03:35,998
I was going to the library.

89
00:03:36,041 --> 00:03:38,870
Oh, no. No, you and Marty
are in charge of security.

90
00:03:38,914 --> 00:03:40,611
What?

91
00:03:40,655 --> 00:03:42,222
Well, what's it pay?

92
00:03:42,265 --> 00:03:43,658
Room and board.

93
00:03:45,050 --> 00:03:47,009
Fine, I'll start today.

94
00:03:47,052 --> 00:03:50,099
Do I get a weapon?Sure. Yeah.

95
00:03:50,142 --> 00:03:51,100
Here's a whistle

96
00:03:51,143 --> 00:03:52,406
and a wooden spoon.

97
00:03:52,449 --> 00:03:54,538
Don't be afraid
to use them.

98
00:03:54,582 --> 00:03:56,236
Oh, great, Pop.
If a bowl of soup

99
00:03:56,279 --> 00:03:58,368
tries to steal
something, I'm ready.[chuckles]

100
00:04:00,196 --> 00:04:02,851
Hey, you guys.
We picked you up some coffee

101
00:04:02,894 --> 00:04:04,940
and a dozen doughnuts.

102
00:04:04,983 --> 00:04:08,117
Uh, 9 3/4 doughnuts.

103
00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:10,119
See, I told you he was too quiet

104
00:04:10,162 --> 00:04:11,947
in the back of the car.True.

105
00:04:11,990 --> 00:04:14,471
But way to use your fractions.

106
00:04:14,515 --> 00:04:16,168
Hey, hey, look what I found.

107
00:04:17,344 --> 00:04:18,562
A box full of kitchen gadgets

108
00:04:18,606 --> 00:04:20,129
from all those
late-night infomercials.

109
00:04:20,172 --> 00:04:21,652
[chuckles]:
I remember that stuff.

110
00:04:21,696 --> 00:04:24,089
Whenever that commercial
said "act now,"

111
00:04:24,133 --> 00:04:25,177
your mama did.

112
00:04:26,309 --> 00:04:28,529
I had to. Supplies
were limited.

113
00:04:28,572 --> 00:04:31,967
[chuckles] Marty, put all
that stuff on the dollar table.All right.

114
00:04:32,010 --> 00:04:33,882
Oh, no, no, no,
no. Uh-uh-uh.

115
00:04:33,925 --> 00:04:35,536
You're not selling my
infomercial stuff.

116
00:04:35,579 --> 00:04:37,320
Put that box back
where you found it.

117
00:04:37,364 --> 00:04:38,887
Okay.Come on, Tina.

118
00:04:38,930 --> 00:04:40,584
You've never used
any of this junk.

119
00:04:40,628 --> 00:04:41,933
It's not junk.

120
00:04:41,977 --> 00:04:43,761
And I haven't used
any of it yet.

121
00:04:43,805 --> 00:04:44,936
Marty.

122
00:04:44,980 --> 00:04:46,547
Okay.Marty.

123
00:04:46,590 --> 00:04:48,244
Marty.

124
00:04:49,332 --> 00:04:51,247
Martin Lawrence Butler.

125
00:04:52,770 --> 00:04:54,381
It's not about you,
it's about them.

126
00:04:54,424 --> 00:04:56,557
It's not about you,
it's about them.Boy, give me this box!

127
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,994
There's some good
stuff in here.

128
00:04:59,037 --> 00:05:01,126
Like-like-like this thingy.

129
00:05:01,170 --> 00:05:02,998
Oh, my God, is that
a Choppy Chopper?

130
00:05:03,041 --> 00:05:05,000
I've always wanted
to try one of these.

131
00:05:05,043 --> 00:05:08,351
Finally someone who appreciates
my infomercial instincts.

132
00:05:08,395 --> 00:05:10,222
You never even
tried it yourself.

133
00:05:10,266 --> 00:05:12,224
Well, that all changes
today. Let's go to my house

134
00:05:12,268 --> 00:05:13,922
and choppity-chop something.

135
00:05:13,965 --> 00:05:16,446
Okay, Gemma. Let's go.

136
00:05:16,490 --> 00:05:17,752
Don't wait up.

137
00:05:22,060 --> 00:05:24,454
Well, enjoy that toaster,
my man.

138
00:05:24,498 --> 00:05:26,456
[chuckles]

139
00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:28,328
Looks like somebody
got some new teeth.

140
00:05:31,156 --> 00:05:32,506
Hey, Shanice.

141
00:05:32,549 --> 00:05:36,161
You know what, this will make
a great baby bassinet.

142
00:05:36,205 --> 00:05:38,860
You add a few bungee cords,
you got you a car seat.

143
00:05:39,991 --> 00:05:41,297
Throw some sandwiches in there,

144
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:44,822
you going to a picnic.
Hmm? Look.

145
00:05:44,866 --> 00:05:47,695
Calvin, this is
the best yard sale

146
00:05:47,738 --> 00:05:49,261
I have ever been to.

147
00:05:49,305 --> 00:05:51,089
I've met so many
fantastic people.

148
00:05:51,133 --> 00:05:54,266
Did you know that Anita
was in the Peace Corps?

149
00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:56,617
Or that Mr. Dorsett
just retired from teaching

150
00:05:56,660 --> 00:05:58,401
after 50 years?

151
00:05:58,445 --> 00:06:00,142
A-And Germaine

152
00:06:00,185 --> 00:06:02,318
with the face tattoo?
He says if anybody asks,

153
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,364
that he has been here
all day.

154
00:06:09,412 --> 00:06:11,153
You know, I've
actually been having

155
00:06:11,196 --> 00:06:12,415
a pretty good time, myself.Uh-huh.

156
00:06:12,459 --> 00:06:15,026
I sold everything
on table two,

157
00:06:15,070 --> 00:06:17,289
and then I sold table two.

158
00:06:17,333 --> 00:06:19,422
Oh, oh, man! Well,
what's your secret?

159
00:06:19,466 --> 00:06:20,554
Watch and learn.

160
00:06:20,597 --> 00:06:24,514
Hey, you know,
just so you know,

161
00:06:24,558 --> 00:06:26,560
this grill used to
belong to Tupac.

162
00:06:27,604 --> 00:06:30,259
Yeah, he made a
hell of a rib eye.

163
00:06:30,302 --> 00:06:32,870
You know, one time
he had a barbecue,

164
00:06:32,914 --> 00:06:34,437
and he didn't invite
Biggie, and...

165
00:06:34,481 --> 00:06:36,047
Well, you know the rest.

166
00:06:37,092 --> 00:06:38,528
Oh, okay.

167
00:06:38,572 --> 00:06:40,269
[chuckles]

168
00:06:40,312 --> 00:06:42,314
Ah!

169
00:06:43,664 --> 00:06:46,057
[chuckles]:
Calvin, what're you doing?

170
00:06:46,101 --> 00:06:48,277
You just lied to that guy
for money.

171
00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:51,323
Well, yeah. I mean, I wouldn't
lie to him for no reason.

172
00:06:51,367 --> 00:06:53,325
That would be messed up.

173
00:06:56,111 --> 00:06:57,765
Uh, hey, Marty.

174
00:06:57,808 --> 00:07:00,637
What is with
the sunglasses, bro?

175
00:07:00,681 --> 00:07:02,465
It's a little security
trick I picked up

176
00:07:02,509 --> 00:07:04,119
so nobody can see
where I'm looking.

177
00:07:04,162 --> 00:07:05,773
Right now I got my eye
on that guy over there

178
00:07:05,816 --> 00:07:07,383
licking the
nine-volt batteries.

179
00:07:09,907 --> 00:07:11,909
You know, that's nothing.

180
00:07:11,953 --> 00:07:14,564
A minute ago he was licking
the sewing machine.

181
00:07:14,608 --> 00:07:17,175
Yeah, I better go
shut that down.

182
00:07:17,219 --> 00:07:21,528
Hey, man! Store policy:
you lick it, you buy it.

183
00:07:21,571 --> 00:07:24,226
How you doing,
Miss Simpson?

184
00:07:24,269 --> 00:07:26,315
Well, I'm still
above ground, ain't I?

185
00:07:26,358 --> 00:07:27,751
[chuckles]

186
00:07:27,795 --> 00:07:30,493
Listen, how much y'all want
for this porcelain angel?

187
00:07:30,537 --> 00:07:34,541
Well, you know, there's a very
special story about this angel.

188
00:07:34,584 --> 00:07:35,933
When...Cut the crap.

189
00:07:38,022 --> 00:07:39,546
I'll give you
three dollars for it.

190
00:07:39,589 --> 00:07:41,199
[chuckles] How about
four dollars?

191
00:07:41,243 --> 00:07:42,418
How about two dollars?

192
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:45,987
Okay. Fine, two dollars.

193
00:07:46,030 --> 00:07:48,206
Okay.
Here's a dollar.

194
00:07:50,948 --> 00:07:53,429
You know this is
a Canadian dollar.

195
00:07:56,388 --> 00:07:58,390
Oh, this is awesome.[laughs]

196
00:07:58,434 --> 00:08:01,306
This is so much fun.
What else can we choppity-chop?

197
00:08:01,350 --> 00:08:03,439
Okay, we've done the fruits,
we've done the vegetables.

198
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:04,571
Oh, wait, what's this?

199
00:08:04,614 --> 00:08:06,268
I chopped your kitchen sponge.

200
00:08:08,749 --> 00:08:11,403
I get it. Once you start,
you can't stoppity-stop.

201
00:08:11,447 --> 00:08:13,231
[both laugh]Let's try another gadget.

202
00:08:13,275 --> 00:08:14,450
What's next?Okay.

203
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:16,147
Depends upon what
you're in the mood for.

204
00:08:16,191 --> 00:08:18,889
Mm-hmm.Okay, we've got
our hard-boiled egg sheller.

205
00:08:18,933 --> 00:08:20,500
Oh.Or we have

206
00:08:20,543 --> 00:08:22,023
a bear claw meat shredder.

207
00:08:22,066 --> 00:08:25,592
And we have this
thing that makes

208
00:08:25,635 --> 00:08:28,333
pancakes in the shapes
of presidents.[gasps]

209
00:08:29,770 --> 00:08:31,859
Oh, it only goes up to Reagan.

210
00:08:31,902 --> 00:08:34,339
Well, it was the '80s.

211
00:08:34,383 --> 00:08:36,080
You just throw
a little maple syrup on it,

212
00:08:36,124 --> 00:08:38,909
and boom! We got Obama. Huh?

213
00:08:38,953 --> 00:08:41,259
Cal! Calvin!

214
00:08:41,303 --> 00:08:44,741
You are not gonna
believe this.What?

215
00:08:44,785 --> 00:08:46,351
I thought that one of your
statuettes looked familiar,

216
00:08:46,395 --> 00:08:47,962
so I went inside
to go look it up

217
00:08:48,005 --> 00:08:50,530
in my guide to antique dolls
and figurines.

218
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:56,884
Gemma's guide to antique dolls
and figurines.

219
00:08:56,927 --> 00:08:58,320
Look, the point is

220
00:08:58,363 --> 00:09:00,540
it is a genuine Montolfo

221
00:09:00,583 --> 00:09:03,543
worth $1,500.

222
00:09:03,586 --> 00:09:06,807
$1,500? Well, all right!

223
00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:08,373
Which one is it?Oh.

224
00:09:08,417 --> 00:09:11,202
Here you go, look. Right there.
It's the porcelain angel.

225
00:09:11,246 --> 00:09:13,030
The porcelain angel?

226
00:09:13,074 --> 00:09:15,337
[groans]

227
00:09:15,380 --> 00:09:17,252
Ah!

228
00:09:17,295 --> 00:09:18,383
You were right.

229
00:09:18,427 --> 00:09:20,647
Your crap
is way better than mine.

230
00:09:28,872 --> 00:09:32,963
You sold
a $1,500 Montolfo angel

231
00:09:33,007 --> 00:09:34,922
for one dollar?

232
00:09:34,965 --> 00:09:36,967
A Canadian dollar.

233
00:09:38,229 --> 00:09:40,144
You see, Dave,
this is exactly why

234
00:09:40,188 --> 00:09:41,668
I didn't want to
do a yard sale.

235
00:09:41,711 --> 00:09:43,017
I didn't want to be hustled.

236
00:09:43,060 --> 00:09:44,932
She didn't hustle you.
She made an honest mistake.

237
00:09:44,975 --> 00:09:46,977
And I'm sure if we go talk
to Miss Simpson,

238
00:09:47,021 --> 00:09:48,979
she'll give the angel
back to you.

239
00:09:49,023 --> 00:09:52,200
If you believe that she's
gonna give me something back

240
00:09:52,243 --> 00:09:54,071
worth $1,500,

241
00:09:54,115 --> 00:09:57,379
then I've got Snoop Dogg's
humidifier to sell you.

242
00:09:57,422 --> 00:10:00,904
Okay, well, you're never
gonna get it if you don't try.

243
00:10:00,948 --> 00:10:03,559
[sighs] Fine. Come on, man.

244
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:06,301
Hey, boys, look,

245
00:10:06,344 --> 00:10:08,172
Dave and I are leaving,
so I'm promoting you

246
00:10:08,216 --> 00:10:09,913
from security to sales.

247
00:10:09,957 --> 00:10:13,090
You get to keep
half of whatever you sell.

248
00:10:13,134 --> 00:10:15,963
Wait, wait, wait, Pop. But all
the good stuff is gone, man.

249
00:10:16,006 --> 00:10:18,792
I know. That's why
you're getting half.

250
00:10:18,835 --> 00:10:20,794
[laughs] Malcolm!

251
00:10:20,837 --> 00:10:22,360
Congratulations, brother.

252
00:10:22,404 --> 00:10:23,492
Yeah, for what?

253
00:10:23,535 --> 00:10:24,754
Well, this is
your first promotion.

254
00:10:25,712 --> 00:10:27,452
That's very funny.

255
00:10:27,496 --> 00:10:30,368
You know, we should just
throw all this crap away, man.

256
00:10:30,412 --> 00:10:32,066
Nobody gonna buy any of it.

257
00:10:32,109 --> 00:10:35,460
Here's six dollars.
I just sold a broken cell phone.

258
00:10:35,504 --> 00:10:37,245
What? Wait, hey.

259
00:10:37,288 --> 00:10:38,550
How'd you do that?

260
00:10:38,594 --> 00:10:41,684
I was just pretending
to talk to Batman on it.

261
00:10:41,728 --> 00:10:43,686
Some lady said I was cute
and bought it.

262
00:10:43,730 --> 00:10:46,646
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Just because you were cute?

263
00:10:46,689 --> 00:10:47,821
I get that a lot.

264
00:10:49,823 --> 00:10:52,129
I can't believe it.
All of these TV gadgets

265
00:10:52,173 --> 00:10:55,437
actually worked the way
they were supposed to.I know.

266
00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:57,265
And Calvin was giving me
a hard time.

267
00:10:57,308 --> 00:11:01,573
These things were worth
every easy payment of $19.99.

268
00:11:01,617 --> 00:11:03,880
But wait, there's more!

269
00:11:03,924 --> 00:11:07,014
These kitchen knives
can filet a salmon,

270
00:11:07,057 --> 00:11:11,018
slice a soda can
and even cut through handcuffs.

271
00:11:11,061 --> 00:11:13,150
I wish I had known that
on Valentine's Day

272
00:11:13,194 --> 00:11:14,804
when Calvin lost the key.

273
00:11:16,937 --> 00:11:19,374
Wait a minute.
Do you smell smoke?

274
00:11:19,417 --> 00:11:20,723
Are the pancakes burning?

275
00:11:20,767 --> 00:11:22,682
Maybe we forgot to flip Nixon.

276
00:11:24,466 --> 00:11:27,643
No, no, no.
Tricky Dick is looking good.

277
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:30,733
[crackling][both shrieking]

278
00:11:30,777 --> 00:11:32,735
It's my super slick,
non-stick panini press!

279
00:11:32,779 --> 00:11:34,345
Oh, oh, okay.Wait. Wait. Don't wet it.

280
00:11:34,389 --> 00:11:36,434
Don't wet it too much![overlapping yelling]

281
00:11:36,478 --> 00:11:38,219
GEMMA: Get out of the way. Okay.TINA: Hit it. Hit it.

282
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:48,446
Thanks again for letting us
try these at your house.

283
00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:54,017
What am I gonna do with a
30-year-old fax machine?

284
00:11:54,061 --> 00:11:56,411
And is that beef jerky
jammed in it?

285
00:11:56,454 --> 00:11:59,501
[laughing]:
Oh, yeah.

286
00:11:59,544 --> 00:12:01,503
Oh. Well,
I-I was six years old

287
00:12:01,546 --> 00:12:03,853
and I tried to fax it
to my brother at camp.

288
00:12:03,897 --> 00:12:06,073
[laughs]

289
00:12:06,116 --> 00:12:08,423
Uh, you know, hey, I'm sorry,
[clears throat] little guy.

290
00:12:08,466 --> 00:12:10,947
Looks like you're gonna have to
wait just a little while longer

291
00:12:10,991 --> 00:12:13,515
to get those, um, eyeglasses.

292
00:12:13,558 --> 00:12:16,518
Yeah, man, the headaches
should go away soon.

293
00:12:16,561 --> 00:12:19,477
It's okay. I understand.

294
00:12:21,871 --> 00:12:24,787
Oh, no.
Oh. No. No.

295
00:12:24,831 --> 00:12:27,442
Excuse me, sir.

296
00:12:29,487 --> 00:12:30,793
Here's a ten.

297
00:12:30,837 --> 00:12:32,534
Get that boy some glasses.

298
00:12:32,577 --> 00:12:34,014
[chuckles]
Yes, ma'am.Bless you.

299
00:12:34,057 --> 00:12:36,190
Bless you.God bless you.

300
00:12:36,233 --> 00:12:37,452
How was that?

301
00:12:37,495 --> 00:12:39,149
That was perfect.
Give me some.

302
00:12:39,193 --> 00:12:42,979
Yes. Now, how do we unload
this one Rollerblade?

303
00:12:43,023 --> 00:12:45,242
Huh. Oh, hey,
can you cry on cue?

304
00:12:45,286 --> 00:12:47,723
[crying]:
What do you think?

305
00:12:50,073 --> 00:12:52,684
Oh-ho, I think we
gonna get paid.

306
00:12:54,164 --> 00:12:55,383
I have to tell you,
Miss Simpson,

307
00:12:55,426 --> 00:12:56,819
you have a lovely home.Yes.

308
00:12:56,863 --> 00:12:59,430
Love the plastic
on the couch.

309
00:13:01,171 --> 00:13:03,913
No crumbs in your cracks.

310
00:13:05,349 --> 00:13:06,916
You have to forgive him.

311
00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:10,877
This is only the second
black home he's been in.

312
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:13,836
The first one didn't
want him either.

313
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:16,273
So, actually, we're here
because Calvin has

314
00:13:16,317 --> 00:13:18,885
something to tell you about the
angel that you bought from him.

315
00:13:18,928 --> 00:13:20,364
Isn't that right, Calvin?

316
00:13:20,408 --> 00:13:21,931
Well, spit it out.

317
00:13:21,975 --> 00:13:24,499
Unless you got something else
to say about my cracks.

318
00:13:27,371 --> 00:13:30,070
[couch crinkling]Oh, oh. Okay.

319
00:13:30,113 --> 00:13:33,595
Um... now, I'm gonna be
straight with you.

320
00:13:33,638 --> 00:13:37,294
When I first sold you
that angel figurine,

321
00:13:37,338 --> 00:13:39,775
I didn't realize how valuable

322
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,124
it is...

323
00:13:41,168 --> 00:13:45,172
to... our family,
and no one else.

324
00:13:45,215 --> 00:13:47,565
Really, Calvin?

325
00:13:47,609 --> 00:13:48,566
Yes.

326
00:13:48,610 --> 00:13:51,265
It-it was given
to my grandfather

327
00:13:51,308 --> 00:13:52,875
by a cranky old white lady

328
00:13:52,919 --> 00:13:55,225
he used to drive around
down south.

329
00:13:55,269 --> 00:13:57,749
Now, she was a real
piece of work.

330
00:13:57,793 --> 00:14:00,056
She was...

331
00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:04,321
but they grew to
respect each other in the end.

332
00:14:04,365 --> 00:14:07,803
That sounds just like that movie
Driving Miss Daisy.

333
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,805
Really?

334
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,372
I never seen it.

335
00:14:13,374 --> 00:14:15,767
At any rate, I'm, uh...

336
00:14:15,811 --> 00:14:18,727
I'm willing to buy
the angel back...

337
00:14:18,770 --> 00:14:19,815
for $20.

338
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:23,210
$20? Good.
I'll get it for you.

339
00:14:23,253 --> 00:14:24,820
Okay.

340
00:14:26,169 --> 00:14:27,388
Good.

341
00:14:27,431 --> 00:14:29,912
I cannot believe
that you lied to her.

342
00:14:29,956 --> 00:14:33,133
I know. I've seen that
movie, like, three times.

343
00:14:35,352 --> 00:14:38,225
Okay, so Dad gets half.

344
00:14:38,268 --> 00:14:41,576
Which means we get to
split the rest.

345
00:14:41,619 --> 00:14:44,796
[chuckles] This is not
a bad Saturday.

346
00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:47,451
I mean, I can almost
pay Mom and Dad some rent.

347
00:14:47,495 --> 00:14:49,758
[laughs]
I'm not.

348
00:14:49,801 --> 00:14:51,847
But I could.

349
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:53,936
And, Grover, here is a whole

350
00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:56,243
ten dollars.MALCOLM: Yeah, hey, little man,

351
00:14:56,286 --> 00:14:58,810
we could not have
done this without you.Yeah.

352
00:14:58,854 --> 00:15:01,813
I know, which is why
I want more.

353
00:15:01,857 --> 00:15:04,120
Uh, more?

354
00:15:04,164 --> 00:15:05,556
Yeah, like, how much more?

355
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:07,471
Uh, 50 sounds good.

356
00:15:07,515 --> 00:15:10,257
What?
Are you out of your
rabbit-ass mind?!

357
00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:12,215
I sold everything
you told me to.

358
00:15:12,259 --> 00:15:16,524
I even let those old ladies mess
my hair and pinch my cheeks.

359
00:15:16,567 --> 00:15:18,439
And you think that's
worth $50?

360
00:15:18,482 --> 00:15:21,746
I pretended to be blindfor you.

361
00:15:23,052 --> 00:15:24,793
Malcolm, pay the boy.

362
00:15:26,751 --> 00:15:27,970
Nice try.

363
00:15:28,014 --> 00:15:29,754
This one's Canadian.

364
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:34,324
Well, that was
one hell of a mess.

365
00:15:34,368 --> 00:15:35,847
Oh, you should have
tried cleaning it up

366
00:15:35,891 --> 00:15:38,198
with the super-absorbent
Sponge-O-Matic.

367
00:15:38,241 --> 00:15:40,635
I did, but after one minute
it started to burn.

368
00:15:40,678 --> 00:15:42,245
I think my thumbprints are gone.

369
00:15:42,289 --> 00:15:44,465
Ugh.
You know,

370
00:15:44,508 --> 00:15:46,336
I hate to say it,
but Calvin was right.

371
00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:48,773
I don't know why I was
so determined to hold on

372
00:15:48,817 --> 00:15:49,774
to all that junk.

373
00:15:49,818 --> 00:15:51,559
Don't beat yourself
up about it.

374
00:15:51,602 --> 00:15:53,691
You're not the only one
who holds on to stuff.

375
00:15:54,823 --> 00:15:56,781
Damn, that's one ugly-ass baby!

376
00:15:58,392 --> 00:16:00,002
Hey, that's Grover.

377
00:16:02,874 --> 00:16:05,834
I paid an artist on Etsy
to capture him on a plate.

378
00:16:05,877 --> 00:16:08,576
You actually spent money
on a Grover plate?

379
00:16:08,619 --> 00:16:14,582
No. I spent money on
a complete setof Grover plates.

380
00:16:14,625 --> 00:16:17,672
Oh, Gemma, these are bad.

381
00:16:17,715 --> 00:16:18,716
I mean,
these are really bad.

382
00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:20,936
Yeah, I know.

383
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,938
Well, you know what it's like
when you're a new mom.

384
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:24,374
You're sleep-deprived.

385
00:16:24,418 --> 00:16:26,681
I would just order stuff
on Etsy and eBay.

386
00:16:26,724 --> 00:16:29,118
Yeah, I bought all that stuff
off those infomercials

387
00:16:29,162 --> 00:16:31,555
doing my late-night feedings
with my boys.

388
00:16:31,599 --> 00:16:33,993
Oh, man, those first
few months were so brutal.

389
00:16:34,036 --> 00:16:35,777
Ugh.I was exhausted all the time.

390
00:16:35,820 --> 00:16:37,692
Constantly changing diapers.

391
00:16:37,735 --> 00:16:39,346
Covered in spit-up.

392
00:16:39,389 --> 00:16:40,738
[chuckles]
It never stopped.

393
00:16:40,782 --> 00:16:42,914
I am so glad that's all
behind me.

394
00:16:42,958 --> 00:16:43,915
So am I.

395
00:16:43,959 --> 00:16:45,961
But, God, I miss it.

396
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:47,963
Me, too.

397
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:51,793
He may have looked like this,
but he smelled like heaven.

398
00:16:51,836 --> 00:16:53,186
Oh... And I miss

399
00:16:53,229 --> 00:16:55,710
Marty and Malcolm's
little toes.
Oh...

400
00:16:55,753 --> 00:16:57,755
Now they just have big,
smelly man feet.

401
00:16:57,799 --> 00:16:58,930
Mm.

402
00:16:58,974 --> 00:17:01,020
You know,

403
00:17:01,063 --> 00:17:03,413
maybe I kept all that kitchen
crap because it connects me

404
00:17:03,457 --> 00:17:04,980
to when the boys were little.

405
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:07,200
Maybe that's why I can't
bring myself to get rid of

406
00:17:07,243 --> 00:17:08,723
these ceramic nightmares.

407
00:17:09,767 --> 00:17:11,769
What's up, ladies?

408
00:17:11,813 --> 00:17:13,684
[door closes]

409
00:17:13,728 --> 00:17:16,296
Anyone wanna see me
make it rain?

410
00:17:17,819 --> 00:17:19,603
Grover!

411
00:17:19,647 --> 00:17:22,867
What...?Oh, no.

412
00:17:22,911 --> 00:17:23,999
You know what?

413
00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:25,827
You might want to have
another one

414
00:17:25,870 --> 00:17:27,263
just in case that one goes bad.

415
00:17:30,832 --> 00:17:33,791
I see you looking
at me, Dave.

416
00:17:33,835 --> 00:17:35,445
And it's not gonna work.

417
00:17:35,489 --> 00:17:37,882
I've already forgiven me.

418
00:17:41,147 --> 00:17:43,236
You know what, Calvin,
you were right.

419
00:17:43,279 --> 00:17:46,674
This neighborhood is full
of scammers and slicksters.

420
00:17:46,717 --> 00:17:49,807
And I'm looking at
the biggest one right now.

421
00:17:49,851 --> 00:17:52,854
I'm sorry, did you
say something?

422
00:17:52,897 --> 00:17:56,597
I was already spending
my angel money in my head.

423
00:17:58,512 --> 00:18:01,732
Well, you know, since I'm
a part of this neighborhood now,

424
00:18:01,776 --> 00:18:03,691
I'm gonna get in on the action.

425
00:18:06,781 --> 00:18:08,043
What are you doing?

426
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:11,786
I'm stealing from her,
like I learned from you.

427
00:18:11,829 --> 00:18:13,831
[sighs]

428
00:18:13,875 --> 00:18:15,050
Come on, man, put it back.

429
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:17,008
No. You know what,
as a matter of fact,

430
00:18:17,052 --> 00:18:19,315
I'm taking this
remote control, too.

431
00:18:19,359 --> 00:18:23,145
Have fun standing up to change
your channels, old lady.

432
00:18:23,189 --> 00:18:24,929
Look, stop playing, man.

433
00:18:24,973 --> 00:18:27,367
Old ladies keep guns.

434
00:18:27,410 --> 00:18:30,370
Give it here. Hey...

435
00:18:30,413 --> 00:18:32,241
What the hell are y'all doing?

436
00:18:33,895 --> 00:18:35,418
Oh, nothing.

437
00:18:35,462 --> 00:18:36,898
What's that in your pocket?

438
00:18:38,726 --> 00:18:41,555
Nothing.

439
00:18:41,598 --> 00:18:43,557
Are you trying to steal
from me?

440
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:46,908
That's it, I'm calling
my grandson Jay-Bo.

441
00:18:49,084 --> 00:18:50,564
He's only got one strike.

442
00:18:50,607 --> 00:18:53,088
Whoa. [stammers]

443
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,611
Please, please don't do that.

444
00:18:54,655 --> 00:18:58,789
Look, he was only trying to
get me to do the right thing

445
00:18:58,833 --> 00:19:02,228
and tell you that that angel...

446
00:19:02,271 --> 00:19:05,100
was a valuable antique
worth $1,500.

447
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:09,148
Yes, and he has seen Driving Miss Daisy.

448
00:19:11,019 --> 00:19:12,977
$1,500?

449
00:19:13,021 --> 00:19:16,894
Yeah. Look, sorry for not
being up front with you,

450
00:19:16,938 --> 00:19:20,681
but... seeing
that I have now,

451
00:19:20,724 --> 00:19:24,250
because I'm a good person,

452
00:19:24,293 --> 00:19:25,903
what do you say
we split it?

453
00:19:25,947 --> 00:19:29,211
Well, $750 is a lot of money.

454
00:19:29,255 --> 00:19:30,952
[chuckles]:
It sure is.

455
00:19:30,995 --> 00:19:32,867
Now, would you see that.

456
00:19:32,910 --> 00:19:34,260
When you give people
the chance...

457
00:19:34,303 --> 00:19:37,350
But $1,500 is a lot more.

458
00:19:40,266 --> 00:19:41,789
Now, y'all get up out of here.

459
00:19:41,832 --> 00:19:42,920
What?
What?

460
00:19:42,964 --> 00:19:44,183
You heard me, beat it.

461
00:19:44,226 --> 00:19:46,968
But, Miss Simpson,
he just told you the truth.

462
00:19:47,011 --> 00:19:48,970
I know, and that's why
I'm giving you

463
00:19:49,013 --> 00:19:52,191
a five-second head start
before I get my pistol.

464
00:19:52,234 --> 00:19:55,281
Okay, hold--
But, Miss Simpson,

465
00:19:55,324 --> 00:19:57,587
I think...Four, three...

466
00:19:57,631 --> 00:20:00,416
Okay, Dave, let's go.
Go, go, go, go, go!

467
00:20:08,163 --> 00:20:10,034
I feel like a fool.

468
00:20:10,078 --> 00:20:12,689
I'm listening.

469
00:20:12,733 --> 00:20:14,604
I honestly thought
if we told her the truth,

470
00:20:14,648 --> 00:20:16,867
that she would do
the right thing.

471
00:20:16,911 --> 00:20:19,087
Well, actually, she did
do the right thing.

472
00:20:19,130 --> 00:20:20,741
I mean, in this
neighborhood,

473
00:20:20,784 --> 00:20:24,135
a five-second head start
is verygenerous.

474
00:20:24,179 --> 00:20:26,964
Well, you know, maybe
she really needed the money.

475
00:20:27,008 --> 00:20:29,706
For medicine, food, rent.

476
00:20:29,750 --> 00:20:31,491
Keep dreaming, Dave.

477
00:20:31,534 --> 00:20:33,188
Because come Sunday,

478
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:34,929
she is on a church
bus to Vegas.

479
00:20:36,539 --> 00:20:40,195
Well, you know, in that case,
I don't feel so bad.

480
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:41,501
About what?

481
00:20:42,719 --> 00:20:44,243
I still got her clock.

482
00:20:46,375 --> 00:20:48,159
Well, give it here,

483
00:20:48,203 --> 00:20:50,466
because I paid $1,500
for this thing.

484
00:20:50,510 --> 00:20:52,076
JAY-BO:
Yo, man!

485
00:20:52,120 --> 00:20:54,557
You got my grandma's clock!

486
00:20:54,601 --> 00:20:55,863
BOTH:
Jay-Bo?

487
00:20:55,906 --> 00:20:58,561
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

488
00:21:02,173 --> 00:21:05,176
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org