1 00:00:04,482 --> 00:00:06,789 Hey, babe, babe, babe, check it out. 2 00:00:06,832 --> 00:00:08,182 The biggest one they had. 3 00:00:08,225 --> 00:00:12,403 Boom! 23 pounds. 4 00:00:12,447 --> 00:00:14,188 There'’s gonna be so much leftover turkey, 5 00:00:14,231 --> 00:00:16,364 I'’m gonna be sleepy for weeks. 6 00:00:16,407 --> 00:00:18,105 Well, put it back. 7 00:00:18,148 --> 00:00:19,628 There'’s only four of us, 8 00:00:19,671 --> 00:00:21,456 and I'’m not cooking that big-ass turkey. 9 00:00:21,499 --> 00:00:23,110 Where'’s your Thanksgiving spirit, babe? 10 00:00:23,153 --> 00:00:24,720 I'’ll tell you where. 11 00:00:24,763 --> 00:00:26,156 Out on your brother'’s boat, 12 00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:27,723 with the rest of your family. 13 00:00:27,766 --> 00:00:29,942 You know what, I don'’t care if he invited us. 14 00:00:29,986 --> 00:00:33,424 I'’m done letting Curtis throw his lotto money in my face. 15 00:00:33,468 --> 00:00:34,947 He wouldn'’t even never won 16 00:00:34,991 --> 00:00:36,601 if I wouldn'’t have stopped at that gas station 17 00:00:36,645 --> 00:00:38,038 to get Mama a Pepsi. 18 00:00:38,081 --> 00:00:40,997 Look, I thought I was gonna have the day off. 19 00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:42,781 Just get a smaller one, 20 00:00:42,825 --> 00:00:44,609 and stop trying to make me cook a pterodactyl. 21 00:00:44,653 --> 00:00:47,221 Fine. How big? 22 00:00:47,264 --> 00:00:49,223 Let'’s go with 12 pounds. 23 00:00:49,266 --> 00:00:52,791 12 pounds? What the rest of y'’all gonna eat? 24 00:00:52,835 --> 00:00:54,184 Fine. 25 00:00:56,882 --> 00:00:58,188 Hi, Tina. 26 00:00:58,232 --> 00:00:59,885 Oh, hey, guys. What'’s up? 27 00:00:59,929 --> 00:01:02,410 Ooh, looks like you'’re stocking up for the big day, huh? 28 00:01:02,453 --> 00:01:04,368 So, you have a bunch of family coming over? 29 00:01:04,412 --> 00:01:07,067 No, just Calvin and the boys sitting on the couch 30 00:01:07,110 --> 00:01:09,504 while I cook my butt off in the kitchen, 31 00:01:09,547 --> 00:01:11,506 sweating over a stove, you know, alone. 32 00:01:11,549 --> 00:01:13,725 A holiday. 33 00:01:13,769 --> 00:01:15,162 Well, if that'’s the case, 34 00:01:15,205 --> 00:01:16,380 you should just come to our house. 35 00:01:16,424 --> 00:01:17,729 Right, Gemma?I'’d love that. 36 00:01:17,773 --> 00:01:19,775 Well, are you sure? I don'’t want to impose. 37 00:01:19,818 --> 00:01:22,125 Come on, it'’ll be fun. The men can watch football, 38 00:01:22,169 --> 00:01:24,127 and you can keep me company while I do all the cooking. 39 00:01:24,171 --> 00:01:26,260 Okay, great, we'’re coming. 40 00:01:26,303 --> 00:01:28,305 Awesome. We'’ll see you Thursday around noon? 41 00:01:28,349 --> 00:01:30,612 Are you sure I can'’t bring anything? We'’re sure. 42 00:01:30,655 --> 00:01:33,354 Good. That'’s the answer I was looking for. 43 00:01:33,397 --> 00:01:34,877 All right.Hey, babe. 44 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:37,009 Yeah? Sorry. 45 00:01:37,053 --> 00:01:38,750 They didn'’t have any 12-pounders, 46 00:01:38,794 --> 00:01:41,144 so I just rounded up to a 20. 47 00:01:41,188 --> 00:01:44,365 Well, put it back, '’cause we'’re going to the Johnsons'. 48 00:01:44,408 --> 00:01:45,540 The Johnsons'’?Uh-huh. 49 00:01:45,583 --> 00:01:47,194 You joking, right, Tina?Nope. 50 00:01:47,237 --> 00:01:48,934 I had to fight two people to get this turkey. 51 00:01:48,978 --> 00:01:50,458 One lady threw her dentures at me. 52 00:01:50,501 --> 00:01:53,852 Ooh, there she is right there. 53 00:01:53,896 --> 00:01:55,767 ♪ Welcome to the block, welcome to the neighborhood ♪ 54 00:01:55,811 --> 00:01:56,507 ♪ Welcome to the hood. 55 00:02:03,514 --> 00:02:05,168 Gemma, I have terrible news. 56 00:02:05,212 --> 00:02:06,691 I just got off the phone with my mother. 57 00:02:06,735 --> 00:02:08,519 Oh, no, did something happen to her? 58 00:02:08,563 --> 00:02:10,782 Worse. She'’s coming for Thanksgiving. 59 00:02:10,826 --> 00:02:12,262 What? 60 00:02:12,306 --> 00:02:13,829 I thought she was going to your Aunt Gail'’s. 61 00:02:13,872 --> 00:02:16,136 Well, yeah, apparently they got into a fight 62 00:02:16,179 --> 00:02:19,182 over which is better, NCISor NCIS: Los Angeles. 63 00:02:20,966 --> 00:02:23,447 And now she'’s coming here instead. 64 00:02:23,491 --> 00:02:25,971 But why is it bad that Grammy'’s coming? 65 00:02:26,015 --> 00:02:27,843 Oh, it'’s not bad, Grover. It'’s terrible. 66 00:02:27,886 --> 00:02:29,018 Dave! 67 00:02:29,061 --> 00:02:31,281 I... Okay. 68 00:02:31,325 --> 00:02:33,805 Look, you know that nobody loves Grammy more than I do, 69 00:02:33,849 --> 00:02:35,677 but... she'’s getting a little bit older 70 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:38,245 and she comes from a small town and, well, 71 00:02:38,288 --> 00:02:40,943 you know how we tell you that there are things 72 00:02:40,986 --> 00:02:42,684 that people might think 73 00:02:42,727 --> 00:02:45,687 but should never, ever say?Yeah. 74 00:02:45,730 --> 00:02:47,645 Grammy doesn'’t believe that'’s true. 75 00:02:47,689 --> 00:02:50,213 Yeah. Hey, buddy. 76 00:02:50,257 --> 00:02:51,910 Can I talk to Mommy alone for a minute? 77 00:02:51,954 --> 00:02:53,825 Are you gonna tell her something about Grammy 78 00:02:53,869 --> 00:02:54,913 that you think but shouldn'’t say? 79 00:02:54,957 --> 00:02:56,480 Yes. 80 00:02:59,527 --> 00:03:01,659 Gemma, what are we gonna do? 81 00:03:01,703 --> 00:03:04,053 We have to uninvite the Butlers. 82 00:03:04,096 --> 00:03:06,751 Sweetie, it'’s the day before Thanksgiving; that'’d be rude. 83 00:03:06,795 --> 00:03:08,362 Ruder than my mom? 84 00:03:08,405 --> 00:03:09,972 Remember when she went off on that lady 85 00:03:10,015 --> 00:03:12,583 about how we need to "build the wall"? 86 00:03:12,627 --> 00:03:15,630 Yes, I do. 87 00:03:15,673 --> 00:03:19,634 We had to start going to a different Taco Bell. 88 00:03:19,677 --> 00:03:22,593 Gemma, she is going to ruin Thanksgiving, I know it. 89 00:03:22,637 --> 00:03:24,421 Sweetie, I know you get embarrassed by your mom, 90 00:03:24,465 --> 00:03:25,857 but she'’s an adult. 91 00:03:25,901 --> 00:03:27,294 You'’re not in charge of her behavior. 92 00:03:27,337 --> 00:03:29,774 And what if she says something offensive to the Butlers? 93 00:03:29,818 --> 00:03:31,298 You know, Calvin and I are starting 94 00:03:31,341 --> 00:03:32,603 to become such good friends. 95 00:03:34,475 --> 00:03:36,041 I know. But you know what? 96 00:03:36,085 --> 00:03:38,087 Maybe it'’s a good thing she'’s coming. 97 00:03:38,130 --> 00:03:39,915 You always say the reason she'’s the way she is 98 00:03:39,958 --> 00:03:42,047 is because she only knows people just like her. 99 00:03:42,091 --> 00:03:44,006 We can help change that. 100 00:03:44,049 --> 00:03:46,008 Okay, you know, m-maybe you'’re right. 101 00:03:46,051 --> 00:03:47,531 You know, maybe this is a chance 102 00:03:47,575 --> 00:03:49,272 for us to broaden her horizons. 103 00:03:49,316 --> 00:03:50,621 To introduce her to 104 00:03:50,665 --> 00:03:53,102 a new spectrum of people. Exactly. 105 00:03:53,145 --> 00:03:56,018 Grammy wants to know how often there are riots around here. 106 00:03:56,061 --> 00:03:57,541 Oh, no... 107 00:03:59,413 --> 00:04:01,502 Can I uninvite them now? 108 00:04:01,545 --> 00:04:02,459 Why are you still standing here? 109 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:06,115 I cannot believe that we'’re going 110 00:04:06,158 --> 00:04:08,248 to the Johnsons'’ for Thanksgiving. 111 00:04:08,291 --> 00:04:10,293 I mean, since we weren'’t going to 112 00:04:10,337 --> 00:04:12,600 my brother Curtis'’s, I thought I could finally 113 00:04:12,643 --> 00:04:14,384 start my own Thanksgiving traditions. 114 00:04:14,428 --> 00:04:15,820 Like what? 115 00:04:15,864 --> 00:04:17,909 Like not going to the Johnsons'’. 116 00:04:19,215 --> 00:04:21,130 [doorbell rings] 117 00:04:21,173 --> 00:04:23,132 Well, I plan on laying around 118 00:04:23,175 --> 00:04:25,352 while somebody else worries about the cooking. 119 00:04:25,395 --> 00:04:26,614 Feels good to be a man. 120 00:04:29,051 --> 00:04:32,228 Hey, Calvin.Come on in, man. 121 00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:34,012 Hey, I wanted to talk to you guys about tomorrow. 122 00:04:34,056 --> 00:04:36,450 I'’m not wearing a pilgrim'’s hat, Dave. 123 00:04:36,493 --> 00:04:39,409 Well, good news: you won'’t have to 124 00:04:39,453 --> 00:04:41,585 because I'’m here to, um, uninvite you. 125 00:04:41,629 --> 00:04:43,239 What? 126 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,762 My man, Dave! 127 00:04:44,806 --> 00:04:46,286 Wait a minute. [laughing] 128 00:04:46,329 --> 00:04:47,504 Wait a minute.Oh, yeah. 129 00:04:47,548 --> 00:04:48,984 Hold up. 130 00:04:49,027 --> 00:04:50,464 What do you mean, you'’re uninviting us? 131 00:04:50,507 --> 00:04:52,379 Come on, it doesn'’t matter, Tina. You know? 132 00:04:52,422 --> 00:04:54,337 We already hugged it out and everything; a deal'’s a deal. 133 00:04:54,381 --> 00:04:55,730 Oh, no. Wait, wait, wait. 134 00:04:55,773 --> 00:04:57,166 Wait, where you going? No, no. 135 00:04:57,209 --> 00:04:59,255 I want to know what happened. 136 00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,431 Well, as it turns out, my mom is surprising us 137 00:05:01,475 --> 00:05:03,346 and flying in from Michigan and, uh... 138 00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:05,740 [chuckles] ...she can be kind of a handful. 139 00:05:05,783 --> 00:05:08,264 What do you mean, she'’s a handful? 140 00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:10,919 Now, Tina, Tina. The lady'’s a handful. 141 00:05:10,962 --> 00:05:12,268 What else do you need to know? Come on. 142 00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:14,705 Well, look, it just, it'’s... 143 00:05:14,749 --> 00:05:15,924 You know, she'’s from a small town, 144 00:05:15,967 --> 00:05:17,273 she'’s kind of old-school, 145 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:18,361 she can be pretty conservative. 146 00:05:18,405 --> 00:05:20,189 Oh, she'’s racist. 147 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:23,845 No, she-she'’s not racist, 148 00:05:23,888 --> 00:05:25,716 she just says things most people know not to 149 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:27,718 because they'’re horribly offensive. 150 00:05:27,762 --> 00:05:28,980 So she'’s like Calvin. 151 00:05:30,591 --> 00:05:32,419 How am I offensive? 152 00:05:32,462 --> 00:05:34,638 I mean, you'’re not offensive as a person, 153 00:05:34,682 --> 00:05:36,945 but you know, it'’s, it'’s just your words 154 00:05:36,988 --> 00:05:38,773 and your tone 155 00:05:38,816 --> 00:05:39,991 and your opinions. 156 00:05:42,037 --> 00:05:43,299 I just tell the truth, Tina. 157 00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:44,866 Hmm. It'’s not my fault 158 00:05:44,909 --> 00:05:47,347 that a bunch of little crybabies can'’t handle it. 159 00:05:47,390 --> 00:05:49,000 That'’s actually how my mom started 160 00:05:49,044 --> 00:05:50,393 her Christmas letter last year. 161 00:05:52,439 --> 00:05:53,614 Listen, baby, I'’m not trying to make 162 00:05:53,657 --> 00:05:55,485 you feel bad, but you know you are not gonna 163 00:05:55,529 --> 00:05:57,531 be able to be around somebody like Dave'’s mom. 164 00:05:57,574 --> 00:05:59,359 So, I guess I'’ll be doing 165 00:05:59,402 --> 00:06:02,100 the cooking this year after all. 166 00:06:02,144 --> 00:06:04,407 T-Tina, no. You know what? 167 00:06:04,451 --> 00:06:06,670 No, you sit back and relax. 168 00:06:06,714 --> 00:06:08,324 You'’re gonna get that day off that you deserve. 169 00:06:09,456 --> 00:06:12,284 No. No, no, no. 170 00:06:12,328 --> 00:06:13,677 We agreed; we hugged and everything. 171 00:06:15,897 --> 00:06:18,029 Sorry, Dave. 172 00:06:18,073 --> 00:06:19,379 I reject your uninvite. 173 00:06:21,859 --> 00:06:23,557 We'’re coming to your house for Thanksgiving. 174 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:25,776 Calvin, what about my mom? 175 00:06:25,820 --> 00:06:27,256 Doesn'’t matter. 176 00:06:27,299 --> 00:06:28,779 You know, like I always say, 177 00:06:28,823 --> 00:06:30,477 when they go low, I go high. 178 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:33,001 That'’s right, that'’s right. 179 00:06:33,044 --> 00:06:34,916 And that'’s exactly what I'’m gonna do. 180 00:06:34,959 --> 00:06:37,048 Mm-hmm.No matter what 181 00:06:37,092 --> 00:06:40,225 your backwoods, whitebread, hillbilly-ass mama has to say. 182 00:06:42,358 --> 00:06:44,491 I can'’t believe this weather. 183 00:06:44,534 --> 00:06:46,493 In November! [chuckles] 184 00:06:46,536 --> 00:06:47,842 It'’s nice, isn't it? 185 00:06:47,885 --> 00:06:50,105 Grover can play outside all year round. 186 00:06:50,148 --> 00:06:51,846 That'’s wonderful. 187 00:06:51,889 --> 00:06:53,369 Makes you wonder why people are always 188 00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:54,849 shooting each other out here. 189 00:06:56,677 --> 00:06:58,853 People shoot each other out here? 190 00:06:58,896 --> 00:07:01,812 All the time, honey. 191 00:07:01,856 --> 00:07:03,988 Mom, that'’s-that's not true. 192 00:07:04,032 --> 00:07:06,121 It is according to my news channel. 193 00:07:06,164 --> 00:07:08,123 Well, not according to mine. 194 00:07:08,166 --> 00:07:10,255 You should really try to watch more than one of them. 195 00:07:10,299 --> 00:07:11,996 Fine. How many do you watch? 196 00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:15,957 Well, uh, one. 197 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:18,133 Oh! I brought cookies. 198 00:07:18,176 --> 00:07:19,221 Oh. [chuckles] 199 00:07:19,264 --> 00:07:20,788 Buddy, just-just one, okay? 200 00:07:20,831 --> 00:07:22,006 We have dinner later. 201 00:07:22,050 --> 00:07:23,486 Hmm, your daddy could never stop 202 00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:25,488 at just one. [chuckles] 203 00:07:25,532 --> 00:07:26,576 In middle school, we had to shop 204 00:07:26,620 --> 00:07:28,273 in the husky section. 205 00:07:30,493 --> 00:07:34,758 Oh, but look at that chiseled, handsome face now. 206 00:07:34,802 --> 00:07:36,543 Oh, baby, your skin is dry. 207 00:07:36,586 --> 00:07:38,153 Are you using moisturizer? 208 00:07:38,196 --> 00:07:41,635 Y-Yes, Mom, I'’m sufficiently moist. 209 00:07:41,678 --> 00:07:43,463 Well, I hope it has SPF, 210 00:07:43,506 --> 00:07:44,986 because if it doesn'’t have SPF, 211 00:07:45,029 --> 00:07:46,204 you'’re gonna end up with cancer 212 00:07:46,248 --> 00:07:47,728 just like your Uncle John. 213 00:07:47,771 --> 00:07:49,425 I didn'’t know Uncle John has cancer. 214 00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,383 He had to get his ear removed. 215 00:07:53,647 --> 00:07:55,953 But it went fine, he had a Jewish doctor. 216 00:07:55,997 --> 00:07:57,389 Mom... 217 00:07:57,433 --> 00:07:59,174 "A Jewish doctor"? 218 00:07:59,217 --> 00:08:02,003 Yes. Everyone knows they'’re the best. 219 00:08:02,046 --> 00:08:03,395 Although, I now hear the Indian ones 220 00:08:03,439 --> 00:08:05,528 are catching up. [sighs] 221 00:08:05,572 --> 00:08:07,051 Hey, Grammy, look. 222 00:08:07,095 --> 00:08:08,705 There'’s my school. Oh. 223 00:08:08,749 --> 00:08:10,272 The school is pretty great. 224 00:08:10,315 --> 00:08:12,187 Gemma is doing an amazing job. 225 00:08:12,230 --> 00:08:14,058 You know, she just implemented a new curriculum 226 00:08:14,102 --> 00:08:15,407 that teaches the kids empathy. 227 00:08:15,451 --> 00:08:18,106 Oh, good for her. Oh, yeah. 228 00:08:18,149 --> 00:08:19,760 The kids have the rest of their lives 229 00:08:19,803 --> 00:08:21,544 to learn things like reading and math. 230 00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:24,460 Well, they teach those things, too. 231 00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,114 Oh, I'’m sure they do. 232 00:08:26,157 --> 00:08:30,118 Grover. Can you tell me the capital of Michigan? 233 00:08:30,161 --> 00:08:32,120 Sure.[iPad beeps] 234 00:08:32,163 --> 00:08:34,339 Siri, what'’s the capital of Michigan?[iPad beeps] 235 00:08:34,383 --> 00:08:37,734 SIRI: Lansing is the capital of Michigan. 236 00:08:37,778 --> 00:08:39,344 Hmm, well, at least he has empathy. 237 00:08:41,433 --> 00:08:43,305 Hey, I'’m sorry, Pop, but there'’s no way 238 00:08:43,348 --> 00:08:44,828 you'’re not fighting with Dave'’s mom. 239 00:08:44,872 --> 00:08:47,352 I know. A proud black patriarch going toe-to-toe 240 00:08:47,396 --> 00:08:48,963 with a loudmouth Midwestern grandma? 241 00:08:49,006 --> 00:08:51,443 Man, that should be a pay-per-view match. [laughs] 242 00:08:51,487 --> 00:08:53,489 Or at least a Tyler Perry movie. 243 00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,752 [laughing] 244 00:08:55,796 --> 00:08:57,754 Well, prepare to be disappointed. 245 00:08:57,798 --> 00:08:59,234 Because I'’m not gonna do anything 246 00:08:59,277 --> 00:09:01,105 to ruin your mother'’s holiday. 247 00:09:01,149 --> 00:09:02,498 Trust me, boys. 248 00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:04,718 You got to respect the mamas. 249 00:09:04,761 --> 00:09:07,590 Listen to your father; he'’s right. 250 00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:10,637 '’Cause he knows if he ruins this day for me, 251 00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:11,899 I'’m leaving him for your Uncle Curtis 252 00:09:11,942 --> 00:09:14,075 and his boat. 253 00:09:14,118 --> 00:09:15,685 Come on, girl. 254 00:09:15,729 --> 00:09:17,861 You know you can'’t leave all this. 255 00:09:17,905 --> 00:09:18,906 Come on, now. 256 00:09:20,777 --> 00:09:24,433 So, this is where you used to live 257 00:09:24,476 --> 00:09:27,697 and this is where you live now. 258 00:09:27,741 --> 00:09:32,223 Far, far away from me. 259 00:09:32,267 --> 00:09:34,486 [sighs] 260 00:09:34,530 --> 00:09:37,098 I miss seeing you all the time. 261 00:09:37,141 --> 00:09:39,274 Oh, I know honey. 262 00:09:39,317 --> 00:09:42,843 But this is where your mom and dad decided to move. 263 00:09:42,886 --> 00:09:45,497 For reasons maybe they can explain to both of us. 264 00:09:47,674 --> 00:09:49,371 Hey, Grover, can you go help Mommy in the kitchen? 265 00:09:49,414 --> 00:09:51,460 Okay. [chuckles] 266 00:09:51,503 --> 00:09:54,071 What'’s the capital of North Dakota?Bismarck. 267 00:09:54,115 --> 00:09:58,554 [laughs] You'’ll thank me when he gets into college. 268 00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,512 Okay, yeah, uh... 269 00:10:00,556 --> 00:10:02,993 Mom, listen; before our neighbors get here, 270 00:10:03,037 --> 00:10:05,692 I just want to talk to you about maybe being careful 271 00:10:05,735 --> 00:10:07,650 with some of the things that you say. 272 00:10:07,694 --> 00:10:10,392 Oh. Is this because they'’re black? 273 00:10:11,523 --> 00:10:13,700 Yes. 274 00:10:13,743 --> 00:10:15,658 And-and you'’re afraid 275 00:10:15,702 --> 00:10:17,225 I'’m going to say something rude. 276 00:10:17,268 --> 00:10:19,662 Exactly. 277 00:10:19,706 --> 00:10:21,446 Because they'’re always so sensitive... No. 278 00:10:21,490 --> 00:10:23,274 No, Mom. No. 279 00:10:23,318 --> 00:10:24,798 [doorbell rings] 280 00:10:24,841 --> 00:10:27,931 [laughs] It'’ll be fine, David, I promise you. 281 00:10:27,975 --> 00:10:30,412 You don'’t have to treat me like I'’m a child. 282 00:10:30,455 --> 00:10:31,587 Okay, you know what? You'’re right, Mom. 283 00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,371 I'’m-I'm sorry.Honestly. 284 00:10:33,415 --> 00:10:36,244 It'’s like you think I don't know how to talk to the blacks. 285 00:10:40,030 --> 00:10:42,598 ♪ 286 00:10:49,213 --> 00:10:51,085 Mom, how can you not know that it'’s wrong 287 00:10:51,128 --> 00:10:52,739 to refer to black people as "the blacks"? 288 00:10:52,782 --> 00:10:56,177 You live in Michigan, not the 1950s. 289 00:10:56,220 --> 00:11:00,616 You kids are so darn politically correct these days. 290 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,792 It'’s like everyone's so worried about each other'’s feelings. 291 00:11:02,836 --> 00:11:05,099 You say that like it'’s a bad thing. 292 00:11:07,492 --> 00:11:08,842 I'’m sure they didn'’t even hear me, 293 00:11:08,885 --> 00:11:10,844 and if they did they would'’ve said something. 294 00:11:10,887 --> 00:11:13,324 I can'’t believe you didn'’t say something. 295 00:11:13,368 --> 00:11:16,632 I love your mother very much. 296 00:11:18,286 --> 00:11:20,636 I can'’t believe she really said that. 297 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:21,811 I can. 298 00:11:23,900 --> 00:11:27,469 What I can'’t believe is that Calvin didn'’t lose his cool. 299 00:11:27,512 --> 00:11:30,472 Well, if I were you, I would'’ve turned right around and left. 300 00:11:30,515 --> 00:11:32,387 Are you kidding? 301 00:11:32,430 --> 00:11:34,737 I'’m sipping wine while a white lady and her son cook for me. 302 00:11:37,218 --> 00:11:42,266 If my ancestors could see me now, they'’d be like, 303 00:11:42,310 --> 00:11:45,226 "Look at you, Tina. You go, girl!" 304 00:11:47,837 --> 00:11:50,013 Okay, I have everyone'’s drinks. 305 00:11:50,057 --> 00:11:51,406 Ooh! Right. 306 00:11:51,449 --> 00:11:53,625 Yeah. 307 00:11:53,669 --> 00:11:56,106 Damn, Dave, these are strong. 308 00:11:56,150 --> 00:12:00,241 [coughing] 309 00:12:00,284 --> 00:12:03,984 Yeah, I thought I'’d get ahead of it and numb everyone'’s pain. 310 00:12:04,027 --> 00:12:07,683 So, I want to know more 311 00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:09,772 about all of you. 312 00:12:09,816 --> 00:12:10,773 Marty, right?Yeah. 313 00:12:10,817 --> 00:12:11,992 Um, what do you do? 314 00:12:12,035 --> 00:12:13,994 Oh, I'’m an engineer at JPL. 315 00:12:14,037 --> 00:12:16,648 Oh, what'’s that? A-A rap radio station? 316 00:12:20,609 --> 00:12:23,568 Mom, JPL stands for Jet Propulsion Laboratory. 317 00:12:23,612 --> 00:12:25,570 That'’s right. I work on the satellites. 318 00:12:25,614 --> 00:12:27,747 Oh, that'’s impressive.Yeah. 319 00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:29,313 You must have gone to an excellent school. 320 00:12:29,357 --> 00:12:31,359 I did. USC.Oh. 321 00:12:31,402 --> 00:12:33,840 In fact, Marty had a full scholarship. 322 00:12:33,883 --> 00:12:36,538 Oh, so does that mean you were an athlete? 323 00:12:36,581 --> 00:12:37,974 [laughs] 324 00:12:38,018 --> 00:12:39,541 CALVIN: Paula. 325 00:12:39,584 --> 00:12:40,847 Can I, can I call you Paula? 326 00:12:42,413 --> 00:12:44,807 Assuming that Marty was an athlete 327 00:12:44,851 --> 00:12:46,853 because he'’s black and went to college, 328 00:12:46,896 --> 00:12:50,073 well, some people might consider that a stereotype. 329 00:12:50,117 --> 00:12:52,815 Oh, really? It just seems that every athlete 330 00:12:52,859 --> 00:12:54,077 I see on my TV is black. 331 00:12:57,167 --> 00:12:59,430 Should'’ve made these stronger. 332 00:12:59,474 --> 00:13:01,389 [chuckling] 333 00:13:01,432 --> 00:13:05,045 I mean, Paula, I mean, clearly you must know 334 00:13:05,088 --> 00:13:08,048 that not every black man is an athlete. 335 00:13:08,091 --> 00:13:11,051 Marty'’s scholarship was for his academic achievements. 336 00:13:11,094 --> 00:13:14,184 Oh. A-A-And what about you, Malcolm, 337 00:13:14,228 --> 00:13:16,099 did you also get an academic scholarship? 338 00:13:16,143 --> 00:13:18,014 Nope. [laughs] 339 00:13:20,147 --> 00:13:21,496 I was an athlete. 340 00:13:23,324 --> 00:13:26,022 Just like the ones you see on TV. 341 00:13:27,415 --> 00:13:28,372 He'’s unemployed, too. 342 00:13:33,943 --> 00:13:37,817 So, Calvin, I couldn'’t help but notice your truck outside. 343 00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:39,122 I mean, it is beautiful. 344 00:13:39,166 --> 00:13:40,384 Oh, thank you. 345 00:13:40,428 --> 00:13:42,560 Do you do the maintenance yourself? 346 00:13:42,604 --> 00:13:44,388 Yeah, you know, I'’ve been taking care of her 347 00:13:44,432 --> 00:13:46,303 ever since she belonged to my father. 348 00:13:46,347 --> 00:13:50,525 Oh, that'’s great. You know, us Michiganders, 349 00:13:50,568 --> 00:13:53,745 I mean, we love anyone who knows his way around a car. 350 00:13:53,789 --> 00:13:55,704 And you know what? I'’ll drink to that. 351 00:13:55,747 --> 00:13:57,706 Here, here, here. 352 00:13:57,749 --> 00:13:59,403 You know, in fact, 353 00:13:59,447 --> 00:14:02,015 my very first boyfriend, he was also a grease monkey. 354 00:14:04,495 --> 00:14:06,193 I-I-I ain'’t gonna be able to do this. 355 00:14:06,236 --> 00:14:09,152 Dad, remember, remember, respect the mamas. 356 00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:13,243 Calvin, I'’m-I'm sorry. Mom. 357 00:14:13,287 --> 00:14:16,246 You cannot call Calvin a monkey. 358 00:14:16,290 --> 00:14:18,901 It is an incredibly offensive term. 359 00:14:18,945 --> 00:14:22,557 I didn'’t call him a monkey. I called him a grease monkey. 360 00:14:24,385 --> 00:14:26,039 They'’re two totally different things. 361 00:14:26,082 --> 00:14:28,476 Not the way you say it. Mm-mm. 362 00:14:28,519 --> 00:14:29,999 You know what? 363 00:14:30,043 --> 00:14:34,221 I think I'’m gonna go outside and get some evening air. 364 00:14:34,264 --> 00:14:35,613 It'’s only 12:30. 365 00:14:35,657 --> 00:14:36,876 I know what damn time it is, Malcolm. 366 00:14:41,968 --> 00:14:44,318 Mom, you need to go outside and apologize to Calvin. 367 00:14:44,361 --> 00:14:45,710 For what? 368 00:14:45,754 --> 00:14:47,625 Well, for calling him a grease monkey. 369 00:14:47,669 --> 00:14:49,627 Now, I know you may not have meant it that way, 370 00:14:49,671 --> 00:14:52,717 but it is still incredibly offensive. 371 00:14:52,761 --> 00:14:53,936 Fine. 372 00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:55,851 If that'’s what'll make you happy. 373 00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,940 Thank you. 374 00:14:57,984 --> 00:15:00,638 But, honestly, you people can be so sensitive. 375 00:15:04,077 --> 00:15:06,427 We should do this every year. 376 00:15:06,470 --> 00:15:08,777 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 377 00:15:08,820 --> 00:15:10,213 Calvin, 378 00:15:10,257 --> 00:15:12,172 I owe you an apology. 379 00:15:12,215 --> 00:15:13,390 Oh, thank you. 380 00:15:13,434 --> 00:15:14,652 But if you ask me, 381 00:15:14,696 --> 00:15:16,045 I think you'’re overreacting. 382 00:15:16,089 --> 00:15:17,568 You think I'’m overreacting? 383 00:15:17,612 --> 00:15:19,483 After all that stuff you said in there? 384 00:15:19,527 --> 00:15:22,051 You mean about thinking Marty was an athlete? 385 00:15:22,095 --> 00:15:23,705 Why is that such a crime? 386 00:15:23,748 --> 00:15:26,882 Please, let'’s not start talking about crime. 387 00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,840 Let me tell you why, Paula. 388 00:15:28,884 --> 00:15:30,973 Because everything you think you know about black people 389 00:15:31,017 --> 00:15:32,540 is a stereotype. 390 00:15:32,583 --> 00:15:35,195 Oh, maybe, but in my experience, 391 00:15:35,238 --> 00:15:37,632 most stereotypes are rooted in the truth. 392 00:15:37,675 --> 00:15:40,591 Here I am standing right here in front of you 393 00:15:40,635 --> 00:15:43,333 telling you that they'’re not, yet you won'’t listen. 394 00:15:43,377 --> 00:15:44,987 Oh, I listen. 395 00:15:45,031 --> 00:15:46,771 Yeah, to fake news. 396 00:15:46,815 --> 00:15:48,948 Oh, you listen to fake news. 397 00:15:48,991 --> 00:15:50,471 Oh, no, yours is faker. 398 00:15:50,514 --> 00:15:52,821 No, I'’m sorry, yours is much faker. 399 00:15:52,864 --> 00:15:55,519 [overlapping arguing]Will you both please shut up? 400 00:15:58,087 --> 00:16:01,221 Did he just tell his mother to shut up? 401 00:16:01,264 --> 00:16:04,659 Did he just tell Calvin to shut up? 402 00:16:04,702 --> 00:16:07,967 I'’m done joking. 403 00:16:08,010 --> 00:16:11,231 I'’m-a sell this to pay-per-view. 404 00:16:11,274 --> 00:16:12,754 You need to stay out of this, Dave. 405 00:16:12,797 --> 00:16:14,582 We'’re just having a conversation. 406 00:16:14,625 --> 00:16:16,192 She just saying what she thinks. 407 00:16:16,236 --> 00:16:19,239 Yes, but what she thinks is awful. 408 00:16:19,282 --> 00:16:22,938 I have a right to my opinions. Don'’t talk about me like that. 409 00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:25,636 Oh, you mean like the way you talk about other people? 410 00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:28,074 It'’s like you don't care if what you say hurts them. 411 00:16:28,117 --> 00:16:30,511 You know, that'’s exactly what I was trying to say, Paula. 412 00:16:30,554 --> 00:16:32,078 [stammers] 413 00:16:32,121 --> 00:16:34,080 Everyone'’s just so sensitive these days. 414 00:16:34,123 --> 00:16:37,822 You know, I can actually agree with you about that. 415 00:16:37,866 --> 00:16:42,653 Yes, Mom, it'’s everyone else's fault for being so sensitive. 416 00:16:42,697 --> 00:16:45,830 It'’s probably from teaching empathy. 417 00:16:45,874 --> 00:16:48,181 I don'’t understand, Mom, 418 00:16:48,224 --> 00:16:51,532 how someone who I love so much, 419 00:16:51,575 --> 00:16:54,361 who I know deep down is a good person, 420 00:16:54,404 --> 00:16:58,017 can say such ignorant and embarrassing things as you. 421 00:17:01,411 --> 00:17:03,500 I'’m sorry you feel that way about your mother. 422 00:17:05,415 --> 00:17:06,938 Now if you'’ll excuse me... 423 00:17:09,202 --> 00:17:10,594 Oh, shoot, here she comes! 424 00:17:10,638 --> 00:17:12,292 [all exclaiming] 425 00:17:17,340 --> 00:17:18,907 I'’m sorry if I offended any of you. 426 00:17:18,950 --> 00:17:21,518 That was never my intention. 427 00:17:21,562 --> 00:17:25,087 So, if you'’ll excuse me, I'’m gonna go pack my bags. 428 00:17:25,131 --> 00:17:27,046 Wait, no, no, no, no, no. Paula, Paula, please don'’t leave. 429 00:17:27,089 --> 00:17:28,743 You'’re family. 430 00:17:28,786 --> 00:17:31,659 Yeah, Grammy, I don'’t want you to go. 431 00:17:31,702 --> 00:17:35,358 I know, honey, but clearly 432 00:17:35,402 --> 00:17:37,969 your father doesn'’t want me here, so... 433 00:17:38,013 --> 00:17:40,320 I guess now we know why you moved so far away. 434 00:17:43,149 --> 00:17:44,889 Dave, 435 00:17:44,933 --> 00:17:46,717 you can'’t talk to your mother like that. 436 00:17:46,761 --> 00:17:48,110 You need to chill, man. 437 00:17:48,154 --> 00:17:49,633 Are you really defending her? 438 00:17:49,677 --> 00:17:51,374 Oh, I'’ll do more than that. 439 00:17:51,418 --> 00:17:53,637 If she wanted to whup you, I would hold you down. 440 00:17:53,681 --> 00:17:55,639 Look. 441 00:17:55,683 --> 00:17:57,554 She'’s just speaking her mind, man. 442 00:17:57,598 --> 00:18:00,253 It'’s not her fault that she is wildly misinformed. 443 00:18:01,950 --> 00:18:05,780 Misinformed? She'’s worse than misinformed. 444 00:18:05,823 --> 00:18:08,826 Yeah, well, at least with her you know where you stand. 445 00:18:08,870 --> 00:18:11,873 Yes, and because of that, I wore a T-shirt in the pool 446 00:18:11,916 --> 00:18:13,570 until I was 18 years old. 447 00:18:16,225 --> 00:18:19,881 Trust me, Dave, you'’re better off knowing what someone thinks. 448 00:18:19,924 --> 00:18:22,492 It'’s when you don't is when they could sneak up on you. 449 00:18:22,536 --> 00:18:25,191 When who sneaks up on you? 450 00:18:25,234 --> 00:18:28,237 The people that can hurt you most. 451 00:18:28,281 --> 00:18:31,458 Like a son telling his mom she embarrasses him. 452 00:18:31,501 --> 00:18:33,155 Yeah, but she does. 453 00:18:33,199 --> 00:18:36,115 It doesn'’t matter. She gave you life, man. 454 00:18:36,158 --> 00:18:39,074 She deserves your respect. 455 00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:43,165 Look, Paula is who she is, she'’s not gonna change. 456 00:18:43,209 --> 00:18:45,472 But she'’s also not gonna be around forever. 457 00:18:45,515 --> 00:18:47,778 And when she'’s not? 458 00:18:47,822 --> 00:18:50,172 I don'’t care how much she embarrasses you, 459 00:18:50,216 --> 00:18:52,783 you gonna miss her like you never missed anybody before. 460 00:18:56,526 --> 00:18:59,050 Sounds like you know what you'’re talking about. 461 00:18:59,094 --> 00:19:01,879 I do. I miss my mother every day. 462 00:19:04,882 --> 00:19:06,406 When did she pass? 463 00:19:06,449 --> 00:19:07,755 Oh, she didn'’t pass. 464 00:19:09,583 --> 00:19:14,196 No, she just travels around the world with my brother, Curtis. 465 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,459 He has to buy her love. 466 00:19:19,201 --> 00:19:20,724 Well, now I feel like a jerk. 467 00:19:20,768 --> 00:19:23,597 Well, look, you'’ll be fine, man. 468 00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:26,469 Just go in there and apologize, 469 00:19:26,513 --> 00:19:29,342 let her know she'’s the most important woman in your life, 470 00:19:29,385 --> 00:19:31,692 and that you'’ll love her no matter what. 471 00:19:35,217 --> 00:19:38,002 You think she'’ll forgive me? 472 00:19:38,046 --> 00:19:39,830 Of course, man. 473 00:19:39,874 --> 00:19:42,877 I mean, just tell her the only reason that you yelled at her 474 00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:44,835 is that you'’ve been living around all these black people 475 00:19:44,879 --> 00:19:45,967 and they made you crazy. 476 00:19:53,279 --> 00:19:55,455 I'’m glad you decided to stay, Grammy. 477 00:19:55,498 --> 00:20:00,634 Aw, well, I'’m glad your father convinced me to. 478 00:20:00,677 --> 00:20:04,420 I'’ve never seen your mom change her mind. How'’d you do it? 479 00:20:04,464 --> 00:20:06,030 Well, I just told her the truth. 480 00:20:06,074 --> 00:20:07,597 I said, even though we fight sometimes, 481 00:20:07,641 --> 00:20:10,426 she'’s still my mom and I'’ll always love her. 482 00:20:10,470 --> 00:20:12,254 And that was enough? 483 00:20:12,298 --> 00:20:14,387 No. 484 00:20:14,430 --> 00:20:15,866 She also thought her Uber driver 485 00:20:15,910 --> 00:20:17,390 looked like a terrorist she saw on TV. 486 00:20:20,741 --> 00:20:22,743 You know, Gemma, this food is really delicious. 487 00:20:22,786 --> 00:20:24,440 Yeah, Gemma, for a skinny white girl, 488 00:20:24,484 --> 00:20:26,225 you sure can burn like you black. 489 00:20:26,268 --> 00:20:28,183 [laughter] 490 00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:31,142 Oh. You know what, I'’d like to make a toast. 491 00:20:31,186 --> 00:20:35,886 To the Johnson and the Butler families, 492 00:20:35,930 --> 00:20:37,932 two families that have a lot to be thankful for. 493 00:20:39,586 --> 00:20:41,240 And even though 494 00:20:41,283 --> 00:20:43,459 we don'’t always see eye to eye, 495 00:20:43,503 --> 00:20:47,550 it'’s good to know that if we communicate honestly, 496 00:20:47,594 --> 00:20:49,596 we can always find common ground. 497 00:20:51,337 --> 00:20:52,729 Here, here. 498 00:20:52,773 --> 00:20:53,687 [overlapping talking] 499 00:20:53,730 --> 00:20:55,166 I would just like to add to... 500 00:20:55,210 --> 00:20:56,733 EVERYONE ELSE: No, no, no, no, no, no! 501 00:20:56,777 --> 00:20:58,779 Captioning sponsored by CBS 502 00:21:02,696 --> 00:21:05,438 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org