1
00:00:03,198 --> 00:00:06,988
Son, you better not be
eating my Fruity Puffs.
2
00:00:07,028 --> 00:00:08,988
What Fruity Puffs?
3
00:00:09,030 --> 00:00:11,300
Mom doesn'’t let you have
those sugar cereals anymore.
4
00:00:11,336 --> 00:00:12,986
"Let me have"?
5
00:00:13,034 --> 00:00:15,334
Nobody lets me
have anything.
6
00:00:15,384 --> 00:00:17,344
I'’m not scared
of your mama.
7
00:00:17,386 --> 00:00:19,086
Okay. Well, I didn'’t see
any Fruity Puffs
8
00:00:19,127 --> 00:00:21,307
in that cabinet.I know, '’cause
I hid '’em here.
9
00:00:23,740 --> 00:00:26,830
Okay, I see. S-So Mom'’s going
out of town for the weekend,
10
00:00:26,873 --> 00:00:28,833
you just gonna do
whatever you want to, huh?
11
00:00:28,875 --> 00:00:30,655
You know, son,
you don'’t understand
12
00:00:30,703 --> 00:00:32,613
what it'’s like
to be the man of the house.
13
00:00:32,662 --> 00:00:33,962
You'’re always worried
14
00:00:34,011 --> 00:00:35,091
about other people'’s needs.
15
00:00:35,143 --> 00:00:36,963
It'’s never really about you.
16
00:00:37,014 --> 00:00:39,794
But with your mother
going to Vegas overnight,
17
00:00:39,843 --> 00:00:44,063
the rest of this weekend
is about me and only me.
18
00:00:44,108 --> 00:00:46,898
Well, excuse me, Pop,
19
00:00:46,937 --> 00:00:49,467
but I will still be here.Yeah.
20
00:00:49,505 --> 00:00:51,505
But I don'’t care
about your needs.
21
00:00:52,595 --> 00:00:54,375
Calvin!
Mm.
22
00:00:54,423 --> 00:00:56,383
Yeah, babe.
23
00:00:56,425 --> 00:00:57,865
Hey, baby.
Can you do me a favor
24
00:00:57,904 --> 00:00:59,814
and take these to the car?Damn, Tina.
25
00:00:59,863 --> 00:01:01,163
You'’re only going away
for one night.
26
00:01:01,212 --> 00:01:02,692
Why do you need three bags?
27
00:01:02,735 --> 00:01:05,525
Well, this one is
for my clothes,
28
00:01:05,564 --> 00:01:07,344
this one is for
hair and makeup,
29
00:01:07,392 --> 00:01:08,472
and this one is empty.
30
00:01:08,524 --> 00:01:09,614
Mama'’s going shopping.
31
00:01:11,744 --> 00:01:14,574
And what else do you and Gemma
have planned for Vegas?
32
00:01:14,617 --> 00:01:17,747
Baby, how about you don'’t
ask me about my plans,
33
00:01:17,794 --> 00:01:20,104
and I won'’t ask you about
that box of Fruity Puffs
34
00:01:20,144 --> 00:01:22,494
that you got hiding
behind my cookbooks.
35
00:01:23,582 --> 00:01:24,712
Have a great trip.Okay.
36
00:01:26,933 --> 00:01:28,583
I'’m so excited!
37
00:01:28,631 --> 00:01:30,631
Tina and I are gonna
have so much fun.
38
00:01:30,676 --> 00:01:32,246
I know, your first
girls'’ trip.
39
00:01:32,287 --> 00:01:34,337
Man, I wish I could go.
40
00:01:34,376 --> 00:01:36,156
Okay, but then it wouldn'’t be
41
00:01:36,204 --> 00:01:38,554
much of a girls'’trip,
would it, sweetie?
42
00:01:38,597 --> 00:01:41,687
I know, but I really feel like
I could add to the experience.
43
00:01:41,731 --> 00:01:43,341
Like you two are
Thelma and Louise
44
00:01:43,385 --> 00:01:44,905
and I'’m Brad Pitt.
45
00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:48,180
Hey, guys.Hey.
46
00:01:48,216 --> 00:01:49,256
So, what do
you say, Gemma?
47
00:01:49,304 --> 00:01:50,954
You ready to have some fun?
48
00:01:51,001 --> 00:01:52,211
You know it, girl!Yeah!
49
00:01:52,263 --> 00:01:54,303
What do you say, Calvin?
50
00:01:54,352 --> 00:01:56,522
You ready to have
some fun, too?
51
00:01:56,572 --> 00:01:58,702
I got to load the bags, Dave.
52
00:02:01,359 --> 00:02:03,409
This one feels empty.
53
00:02:03,448 --> 00:02:05,238
Maybe I should climb
in and stow away.
54
00:02:05,276 --> 00:02:07,886
Hey, that'’s a good idea.
'’Cause you know what they say:
55
00:02:07,931 --> 00:02:10,011
what goes to Vegas
stays in Vegas.
56
00:02:12,109 --> 00:02:13,719
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
57
00:02:13,763 --> 00:02:14,713
♪ Welcome to the hood.
58
00:02:37,047 --> 00:02:41,227
♪ Hey, girl...
59
00:02:41,269 --> 00:02:43,669
Aw, that takes me back
to my player days right there.
60
00:02:43,706 --> 00:02:46,796
Tina lucky she locked me down.
61
00:02:46,839 --> 00:02:48,449
♪ Hey, boy...
62
00:02:48,493 --> 00:02:50,583
It'’s good to be the king.
63
00:02:50,626 --> 00:02:53,106
I thought all kings
wore robes.
64
00:02:53,150 --> 00:02:54,810
Well, they do.
65
00:02:54,847 --> 00:02:57,417
But I needed to let
the royal jewels breathe.
66
00:02:57,459 --> 00:02:59,509
Hey, man.
67
00:02:59,548 --> 00:03:01,508
So, this is how you'’re
fulfilling your needs
68
00:03:01,550 --> 00:03:03,250
for the weekend, huh?
69
00:03:03,291 --> 00:03:05,941
Sitting in your underwear,
listening to oldies,
70
00:03:05,989 --> 00:03:07,729
and giving yourself diabetes?
71
00:03:07,773 --> 00:03:10,603
It'’s pretty cool, right?
72
00:03:10,646 --> 00:03:12,516
You know what would
be pretty cool, Pop,
73
00:03:12,561 --> 00:03:14,471
is if you ordered the
pay-per-view fight for tonight.
74
00:03:14,519 --> 00:03:17,049
Posley versus Camargo.
Supposed to be a good one.
75
00:03:17,087 --> 00:03:19,747
But then I would be fulfilling
your needs as well as mine.
76
00:03:20,917 --> 00:03:21,877
Aw, what the hell.
77
00:03:21,918 --> 00:03:23,178
I'’m a benevolent king.
78
00:03:23,224 --> 00:03:26,054
Okay, well, I'’ll
let Marty know.
79
00:03:26,096 --> 00:03:27,796
Good. We'’ll make it
a guys'’ night.
80
00:03:27,837 --> 00:03:28,967
All right.
Well, I'’ll invite Dave.
81
00:03:29,012 --> 00:03:31,532
Now, hold on a second, now.
82
00:03:31,580 --> 00:03:32,720
What? How come?
83
00:03:32,755 --> 00:03:35,535
'’Cause Dave is not
the kind of guy
84
00:03:35,584 --> 00:03:37,544
you invite over for guys'’ night.
85
00:03:37,586 --> 00:03:39,766
I mean, now,
86
00:03:39,805 --> 00:03:42,155
we were having a men'’s brunch
with a wine tasting?
87
00:03:42,199 --> 00:03:43,809
All right, look, Pop, I know
88
00:03:43,853 --> 00:03:46,023
Dave is not your
typical kind of dude,
89
00:03:46,072 --> 00:03:47,892
but if you ask me,
Dave is a man.
90
00:03:47,944 --> 00:03:49,294
I know.
91
00:03:49,337 --> 00:03:51,777
That'’s why I don't ask you.
92
00:03:51,817 --> 00:03:53,387
Look, come on, Pop.
93
00:03:53,428 --> 00:03:56,218
He is a good husband and father
who takes care of his family.
94
00:03:56,257 --> 00:03:58,307
And he is not embarrassed
to be himself.
95
00:03:58,346 --> 00:04:00,216
There is no shame
in Dave'’s game.
96
00:04:00,261 --> 00:04:01,731
I know.
97
00:04:01,784 --> 00:04:04,694
Which is weird,
because there really should be.
98
00:04:04,743 --> 00:04:07,703
But that'’s what I'm saying, man.
Dave knows who he is,
99
00:04:07,746 --> 00:04:09,536
and he owns it
no matter what anyone thinks.
100
00:04:09,574 --> 00:04:11,704
Isn'’t that what makes a man
real to you?
101
00:04:11,750 --> 00:04:14,840
Fine. Go ahead.
Invite him.
102
00:04:14,884 --> 00:04:17,144
Probably doesn'’t even
like boxing.
103
00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:19,370
"Calvin, it'’s so barbaric.
104
00:04:19,410 --> 00:04:21,330
"Why can'’t they just settle
their differences
105
00:04:21,369 --> 00:04:23,329
with a rousing game
of Parcheesi?"
106
00:04:25,590 --> 00:04:28,990
Dave says, "Hell yes,"
and he is bringing snacks.
107
00:04:29,028 --> 00:04:30,688
Okay.Yeah.
108
00:04:30,726 --> 00:04:33,776
Well, maybe it won'’t be so bad.
109
00:04:33,816 --> 00:04:35,466
He wants to know what you like
on your veggie plate.
110
00:04:38,777 --> 00:04:42,387
Okay, we have a gondola ride
at the Venetian at 6:00,
111
00:04:42,433 --> 00:04:45,473
the dancing fountains at
the Bellagio at 7:30, and--
112
00:04:45,523 --> 00:04:47,303
drumroll, please--
113
00:04:47,351 --> 00:04:49,571
Donny and Marie
tickets at 9:00!
114
00:04:50,789 --> 00:04:52,489
Vegas, baby!
115
00:04:52,530 --> 00:04:54,490
♪ Girls'’ trip. ♪
116
00:04:54,532 --> 00:04:56,492
Gemma, the only girl
who'’s trippin' is you.
117
00:04:57,970 --> 00:04:59,670
Yeah, we only came here
118
00:04:59,711 --> 00:05:01,581
because you said that you needed
to blow off some steam.
119
00:05:01,626 --> 00:05:03,716
We'’re not doing
any of that corny stuff.
120
00:05:03,759 --> 00:05:05,899
But I made a whole
itinerary. Look.
121
00:05:05,935 --> 00:05:07,585
It'’s got little boxes
we can check off.
122
00:05:07,632 --> 00:05:10,112
Aw. Well, that'’s nice.
123
00:05:10,156 --> 00:05:12,026
But my itinerary
says that it'’s time
124
00:05:12,071 --> 00:05:13,811
to throw out
your itinerary.
125
00:05:13,856 --> 00:05:15,076
What?
126
00:05:15,118 --> 00:05:17,598
Check.
127
00:05:17,642 --> 00:05:19,812
I just thought
the more structure we had,
128
00:05:19,862 --> 00:05:21,552
the more we could pack
into our night.
129
00:05:21,603 --> 00:05:26,043
When I rage,
I try to rage efficiently.
130
00:05:26,085 --> 00:05:28,915
Gemma, a girls'’ night in Vegas
is like floating down a river.
131
00:05:28,958 --> 00:05:30,918
You know? You got
to go with the flow
132
00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:33,530
and see where it takes you.
133
00:05:33,571 --> 00:05:35,791
And why is your plan
better than mine?
134
00:05:35,834 --> 00:05:37,054
Because it'’s Vegas, girl.
135
00:05:37,096 --> 00:05:38,446
Always bet on black.
136
00:05:39,534 --> 00:05:41,794
Hey. Check it
out, ladies.
137
00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:43,500
The hottest show in town.
138
00:05:43,538 --> 00:05:46,278
See your wildest fantasies
onstage tonight.
139
00:05:49,718 --> 00:05:50,978
Magic Mike Live?
140
00:05:51,023 --> 00:05:54,243
What? Let me see that.
141
00:05:54,287 --> 00:05:55,857
It'’s just a bunch
of male strippers.
142
00:05:55,898 --> 00:05:57,818
Exactly. You see?
143
00:05:57,856 --> 00:06:01,116
We go with the flow, and plans
will fall right in our laps.
144
00:06:01,164 --> 00:06:02,384
And tonight some men will, too.
145
00:06:06,038 --> 00:06:08,038
Thanks again for inviting
me. Grover'’s at a sleepover.
146
00:06:08,084 --> 00:06:09,954
Otherwise I wouldn'’t
have been able to come.
147
00:06:09,999 --> 00:06:11,349
How convenient.
148
00:06:11,392 --> 00:06:14,742
You gonna get in on some
of this jicama, Calvin?
149
00:06:16,092 --> 00:06:18,002
It'’s in season.
150
00:06:18,050 --> 00:06:19,530
Well, fortunately,
151
00:06:19,574 --> 00:06:21,964
so is pizza.
152
00:06:22,011 --> 00:06:24,661
Man, this is great. Nothing
like a bunch of guys
153
00:06:24,709 --> 00:06:27,109
getting together to watch
a big fight.
154
00:06:27,146 --> 00:06:28,716
Whoa.
155
00:06:28,757 --> 00:06:30,587
I almost just double dipped.
156
00:06:30,628 --> 00:06:31,328
So...
157
00:06:34,632 --> 00:06:37,062
So, uh, Dave, who do you think'’s
gonna win the fight?
158
00:06:37,113 --> 00:06:38,373
Well, I don'’t know much
about these two fighters.
159
00:06:40,203 --> 00:06:43,373
But Camargo is undefeated
against southpaws,
160
00:06:43,424 --> 00:06:44,904
and nobody cuts the ring off
better than he does.
161
00:06:46,775 --> 00:06:48,685
And then, Posley
162
00:06:48,733 --> 00:06:50,213
does have
a three-inch reach advantage
163
00:06:50,256 --> 00:06:51,906
and a pretty solid chin.
164
00:06:57,307 --> 00:07:00,357
But I'’m rooting for Posley
'’cause I like his purple shorts.
165
00:07:04,532 --> 00:07:06,702
Hey, guys. Big fight night.
166
00:07:06,751 --> 00:07:09,101
Oh, I see the
jicama'’s in season.
167
00:07:09,145 --> 00:07:11,405
Yeah.
168
00:07:12,583 --> 00:07:15,413
Whoa. Wh-What'’s wrong
with the TV?
169
00:07:15,456 --> 00:07:17,106
Why'’s it all pixelated
like that?
170
00:07:17,153 --> 00:07:18,933
I don'’t know.
I paid for the fight.
171
00:07:18,981 --> 00:07:21,151
Well, maybe something'’s blocking
the satellite dish.
172
00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:23,340
Well, Marty, do something.
You work on satellites.
173
00:07:23,376 --> 00:07:25,906
Yeah, in space.
174
00:07:27,511 --> 00:07:30,291
Then it should be easier
down here.
175
00:07:30,340 --> 00:07:32,130
Okay.
176
00:07:32,168 --> 00:07:34,298
Let'’s just go outside
and take a look.
177
00:07:36,607 --> 00:07:38,737
I told you we shouldn'’t
have invited Dave.
178
00:07:38,783 --> 00:07:40,083
Oh, he had nothing to do
with this.
179
00:07:40,132 --> 00:07:41,302
I didn'’t say he did.
180
00:07:44,528 --> 00:07:46,528
Oh, there'’s the problem.
181
00:07:46,574 --> 00:07:48,534
The branch from Dave'’s tree
is blocking the signal.
182
00:07:48,576 --> 00:07:51,226
I knew this was Dave'’s fault.
183
00:07:51,274 --> 00:07:52,974
How is this my fault?
184
00:07:53,015 --> 00:07:55,145
Because you don'’t trim
your trees enough.
185
00:07:55,191 --> 00:07:58,361
Old raggedy-ass branches
just waving around
186
00:07:58,411 --> 00:08:01,151
like one of those things
in front of a used car lot.
187
00:08:02,590 --> 00:08:05,120
You know, it'’s a
California oak.
188
00:08:05,157 --> 00:08:07,287
I can'’t trim it. They're
protected by law.
189
00:08:07,333 --> 00:08:09,593
Oh. That must be why
190
00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:11,600
the cop cars cruise by here
three times a day.
191
00:08:11,642 --> 00:08:14,032
Yes, hi.
It'’s Dave Johnson.
192
00:08:14,079 --> 00:08:15,739
Local homeowner.
193
00:08:15,777 --> 00:08:17,297
Yeah, we have a bit
of a tree conun...
194
00:08:20,564 --> 00:08:21,914
Marty, get the ladder.
195
00:08:21,957 --> 00:08:23,877
Whoa, whoa, Pop, Pop,
you are not climbing
196
00:08:23,915 --> 00:08:25,875
on some old, rickety roof
with a chain saw.
197
00:08:25,917 --> 00:08:27,137
I'’ll be fine.
198
00:08:27,179 --> 00:08:28,269
How do you know that?
199
00:08:28,311 --> 00:08:30,831
'’Cause you're gonna do it.
200
00:08:30,879 --> 00:08:33,629
No, I'’m not. You heard Dave.
Trimming an oak is illegal.
201
00:08:33,664 --> 00:08:35,534
I done stayed out of jail
this long.
202
00:08:35,579 --> 00:08:37,499
I'’m not going in
for assaulting a tree.
203
00:08:37,538 --> 00:08:40,588
Hmm. Okay.
Then Marty will do it.
204
00:08:40,628 --> 00:08:43,288
Oh, Dad, uh...
205
00:08:43,326 --> 00:08:46,546
you know I would do anything
to prove to you that I am a man,
206
00:08:46,590 --> 00:08:49,950
but I'’m scared of heights, and I
just ate a lot of jicama, so...
207
00:08:51,856 --> 00:08:54,076
Fine. Since none
of you will do it,
208
00:08:54,119 --> 00:08:55,259
I guess I will.
209
00:08:55,294 --> 00:08:56,424
No, you won'’t.
210
00:08:58,167 --> 00:09:00,737
Give me the chain saw.
211
00:09:00,778 --> 00:09:04,478
Really?
Mr. I Like His Purple Shorts?
212
00:09:04,521 --> 00:09:07,041
Yeah, that'’s right.
Look, it'’s my tree.
213
00:09:07,089 --> 00:09:09,359
My property.
My responsibility.
214
00:09:09,395 --> 00:09:12,005
Okay. Go ahead.
215
00:09:12,050 --> 00:09:14,540
Wait, wait. Dave, are you sure
you know how to use that thing?
216
00:09:14,575 --> 00:09:16,185
Oh, relax.Whoa, man!
217
00:09:18,448 --> 00:09:20,628
I got this.
Now, before I go up there,
218
00:09:20,668 --> 00:09:22,498
I'’m gonna need two things:
hold the ladder and...
219
00:09:23,888 --> 00:09:25,108
...watch out for Five-O.
220
00:09:35,247 --> 00:09:36,427
I don'’t know about this.
221
00:09:36,466 --> 00:09:38,036
You don'’t know about what?
222
00:09:38,076 --> 00:09:39,686
Hot men?
223
00:09:41,427 --> 00:09:44,257
It'’s just, this isn't
my kind of thing.
224
00:09:44,300 --> 00:09:45,650
I know Donny and Marie
225
00:09:45,693 --> 00:09:48,863
are a solid five
out of five stars on Yelp.
226
00:09:48,913 --> 00:09:52,483
Yeah, but that guy has a
solid six out of six abs.
227
00:09:52,525 --> 00:09:55,445
Tina! That is somebody'’s son.
228
00:09:55,485 --> 00:09:57,265
Mm-hmm. And somebody
raised him right!
229
00:09:57,313 --> 00:09:59,353
Okay. Okay.
230
00:09:59,402 --> 00:10:01,962
But what would Calvin think
if he knew you were here
231
00:10:02,013 --> 00:10:04,493
surrounded by all these
hot, shirtless guys?
232
00:10:04,537 --> 00:10:06,457
He doesn'’t care.
In our house,
233
00:10:06,496 --> 00:10:08,196
it doesn'’t matter where
you get your appetite,
234
00:10:08,237 --> 00:10:09,847
as long as you
come home to eat.
235
00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:15,897
Okay, I'’m up.
236
00:10:17,463 --> 00:10:18,633
Looking good, Dave!
237
00:10:18,682 --> 00:10:20,112
He is gonna die.
238
00:10:22,512 --> 00:10:25,342
Come on, man, get to it!
Fight starts in five minutes.
239
00:10:25,384 --> 00:10:27,344
Okay, here we go.
240
00:10:27,386 --> 00:10:30,656
Whoa.
241
00:10:32,391 --> 00:10:34,001
It really shakes in your hands!
242
00:10:36,744 --> 00:10:39,444
Maybe I should call 911 now so
they'’re already on their way.
243
00:10:41,531 --> 00:10:43,141
I can'’t reach it.
244
00:10:43,185 --> 00:10:44,315
All right, then-then
just come back down, man.
245
00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:45,500
Don'’t risk it.
246
00:10:45,535 --> 00:10:48,105
Or get up on your tippy-toes!
247
00:10:51,367 --> 00:10:53,677
I'’m so close!
248
00:10:55,763 --> 00:10:57,543
Whoa!
249
00:10:57,590 --> 00:10:58,860
Be careful, David!
250
00:10:58,896 --> 00:11:00,726
Yeah, seriously, man!
That'’s a new chain saw!
251
00:11:00,768 --> 00:11:02,688
Almost got it.
252
00:11:04,772 --> 00:11:05,902
Oh!
253
00:11:05,947 --> 00:11:08,037
Yes!
254
00:11:08,079 --> 00:11:09,909
Oh!All right!
255
00:11:09,951 --> 00:11:11,771
I told you I could do it!
256
00:11:11,822 --> 00:11:13,782
Hey, y-you know what?
You sure did, man. Now, please,
257
00:11:13,824 --> 00:11:15,044
just come on
down, all right?
258
00:11:15,086 --> 00:11:17,216
Okay, okay.
But seriously,
259
00:11:17,262 --> 00:11:19,172
you should'’ve seen the look
on your faces
260
00:11:19,221 --> 00:11:20,961
when you thought
I was gonna-- Whoa! Whoa!
261
00:11:21,005 --> 00:11:23,745
Oh, Daddy, no! Ooh!
262
00:11:23,791 --> 00:11:25,741
Oh, Pop! Pop!
263
00:11:25,793 --> 00:11:27,923
Oh, Pop.
264
00:11:38,893 --> 00:11:40,723
Oh, my God, Calvin.
If you didn'’t break my fall,
265
00:11:40,764 --> 00:11:44,504
I could be dead
right now.
266
00:11:44,550 --> 00:11:47,470
I know. That'’s what I keep
thinking, too.
267
00:11:47,510 --> 00:11:50,430
Are you sure you don'’t want
to go to the hospital?
268
00:11:50,469 --> 00:11:51,469
Oh, no, I'’m fine.
Thank you, though.
269
00:11:53,342 --> 00:11:55,732
You-- oh, you-you mean Calvin.
270
00:11:55,779 --> 00:11:58,699
No, I'’m-I'm all right; it'’s just
my back'’s out a little bit.
271
00:11:58,739 --> 00:12:00,349
Help-help me sit down.
272
00:12:00,392 --> 00:12:02,212
All right. Easy.Okay, you know,
the craziest part
273
00:12:02,264 --> 00:12:04,264
was how Dave bounced
off of you and landed
274
00:12:04,309 --> 00:12:05,789
right back on top of you.
275
00:12:05,833 --> 00:12:07,743
Like, the science of that
276
00:12:07,791 --> 00:12:09,961
is-is...
277
00:12:10,011 --> 00:12:12,181
Maybe that'’s for another time.
278
00:12:12,230 --> 00:12:15,540
All I know is this damn TV
better be working.
279
00:12:16,974 --> 00:12:17,934
Pop, Pop.Get the remote, Marty.
280
00:12:17,975 --> 00:12:19,625
Yeah, I got it,
I got it.
281
00:12:19,672 --> 00:12:21,232
Hey, it'’s working.
282
00:12:21,283 --> 00:12:23,853
Oh, man, this is killing me.
283
00:12:23,894 --> 00:12:26,284
Gosh, Calvin, you know,
I can'’t help
284
00:12:26,331 --> 00:12:28,371
but feel somewhat responsible
for all this.
285
00:12:31,815 --> 00:12:33,815
You know what?
Let me run next door and get you
286
00:12:33,861 --> 00:12:36,031
some of Gemma'’s prescription
muscle relaxants.
287
00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:37,830
Why does Gemma have
muscle relaxants?
288
00:12:37,865 --> 00:12:39,475
Oh, well, the doctor
just gave them to her
289
00:12:39,518 --> 00:12:40,828
for when her menstrual cramps
get real bad.
290
00:12:40,868 --> 00:12:44,088
Oh.
291
00:12:44,132 --> 00:12:48,572
I'’m not taking your wife's
period pills, Dave.
292
00:12:48,614 --> 00:12:50,834
No, no, no, Calvin,
they'’re not her period pills.
293
00:12:50,878 --> 00:12:52,618
They'’re just the pills she takes
when she'’s on her period.
294
00:12:54,533 --> 00:12:56,663
MALCOLM:
Whoa, whoa, Pop.
295
00:12:56,709 --> 00:12:58,369
You just can'’t sit here
like this, man.
296
00:12:58,407 --> 00:12:59,797
Yeah, man,
you look miserable.
297
00:12:59,843 --> 00:13:00,803
Yeah, you know what?
They'’re right.
298
00:13:00,844 --> 00:13:02,194
Luckily, Calvin,
299
00:13:02,237 --> 00:13:04,587
I have another
solution.
300
00:13:04,630 --> 00:13:07,770
I give an amazing massage.
301
00:13:07,808 --> 00:13:09,808
Get the pills.
Get the damn pills, Dave!
302
00:13:12,638 --> 00:13:15,338
Yeah! Work it, baby.
303
00:13:15,380 --> 00:13:17,080
Hump that floor!
304
00:13:18,819 --> 00:13:21,129
I think
I'’m starting to get it.
305
00:13:21,169 --> 00:13:23,919
All of these men are here
for ourpleasure,
306
00:13:23,954 --> 00:13:26,214
asking what we want.
307
00:13:26,261 --> 00:13:28,391
No one ever asks women
what they want.
308
00:13:28,437 --> 00:13:31,177
Look at him twirling
that T-shirt over his head
309
00:13:31,222 --> 00:13:32,522
like a sexy helicopter.
310
00:13:34,399 --> 00:13:36,319
It'’s almost as if
311
00:13:36,358 --> 00:13:39,058
Magic Mikeis the ultimate
expression of feminism.
312
00:13:41,058 --> 00:13:43,408
Oh! Oh-oh-oh! Black Hawk down!
313
00:13:44,801 --> 00:13:47,021
I'’m going--
oh, oh, oh, oh!
Wait.
314
00:13:47,064 --> 00:13:48,104
Whoa, whoa, what are you doing?
315
00:13:48,152 --> 00:13:49,802
Come on!
We'’re going to the stage.
316
00:13:49,850 --> 00:13:51,640
What-what? Wait, wait, wait!
Tina! Tina!
317
00:13:51,677 --> 00:13:53,337
I don'’t think I'm ready
for this much feminism.
318
00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:58,120
What'’s about to happen?
319
00:13:58,162 --> 00:14:00,772
Magic, Gemma. Magic.
320
00:14:04,038 --> 00:14:06,998
Wow, round five and
Posley'’s still in it.Well, yeah,
321
00:14:07,041 --> 00:14:08,381
but look how much he'’s bleeding.
322
00:14:08,433 --> 00:14:09,863
Ah, get him, Camargo!
323
00:14:11,654 --> 00:14:13,484
Hey, Pop, those pills
making you feel any better?
324
00:14:13,525 --> 00:14:15,305
Actually...
325
00:14:17,660 --> 00:14:19,750
...quite a bit.
326
00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:24,182
But why do these guys keep
hitting each other like that?
327
00:14:25,494 --> 00:14:28,274
With all of the violence
in the world,
328
00:14:28,323 --> 00:14:30,283
don'’t you think
it'’s a better way
329
00:14:30,325 --> 00:14:31,895
they can solve their problems?
330
00:14:34,590 --> 00:14:36,250
Um, like what?
331
00:14:36,287 --> 00:14:39,687
Like a dance-off.
332
00:14:39,725 --> 00:14:41,685
Or a staring contest?
333
00:14:50,171 --> 00:14:52,651
Yeah, let... let-let me
see those pills.
334
00:14:52,695 --> 00:14:55,085
Just...
335
00:14:55,132 --> 00:14:59,042
"The side effects may include
dizziness, drowsiness,
336
00:14:59,093 --> 00:15:02,313
and emotional sensitivity."
337
00:15:02,357 --> 00:15:06,097
What the world needs is love.
338
00:15:07,884 --> 00:15:10,844
Okay, look--
I-I only gave him two.
339
00:15:10,887 --> 00:15:13,107
Oh, wait.
I just gave him two.
340
00:15:15,457 --> 00:15:17,117
Can I give him two more?
341
00:15:19,461 --> 00:15:22,891
Malcolm. Malcolm,
where are you, boy?
342
00:15:22,943 --> 00:15:24,293
Yeah-- hey, hey, hey, hey, Pop.
343
00:15:24,335 --> 00:15:25,165
I'’m sitting
right next to you, man.
344
00:15:25,206 --> 00:15:28,596
Oh. There you are.Yeah.
345
00:15:28,644 --> 00:15:29,864
Come here, son.
346
00:15:29,906 --> 00:15:32,606
O-Okay.
347
00:15:32,648 --> 00:15:34,128
Malcolm.
Yeah?
348
00:15:34,171 --> 00:15:36,251
You'’re my firstborn son.
349
00:15:36,304 --> 00:15:37,654
Yeah.
350
00:15:37,696 --> 00:15:39,696
And I love you, boy.Uh-huh.
351
00:15:41,309 --> 00:15:43,359
Hey, uh, thanks, Pop.Yeah.
352
00:15:43,398 --> 00:15:45,058
Marty?
353
00:15:47,054 --> 00:15:48,354
Yes, Dad?
354
00:15:48,403 --> 00:15:51,533
I was just seeing
if you were still here.
355
00:15:55,410 --> 00:15:57,630
O-Okay. Okay.
356
00:15:57,673 --> 00:16:00,673
Okay, guys, I-I'’m starting
to get a little worried.
357
00:16:00,719 --> 00:16:02,729
Calvin, you'’ve ingested
some pretty serious drugs,
358
00:16:02,765 --> 00:16:05,245
and you'’re experiencing
side effects.
359
00:16:08,118 --> 00:16:10,818
Is there anything
you need?
360
00:16:12,993 --> 00:16:15,163
Well, you know what?
361
00:16:15,212 --> 00:16:18,172
Now that you mention it,
there is.
362
00:16:18,215 --> 00:16:22,005
Ok-Okay, what is it?
363
00:16:22,045 --> 00:16:25,005
Does that offer for a back rub
still stand?
364
00:16:36,799 --> 00:16:39,939
You guys heard him!
He asked.
365
00:16:49,029 --> 00:16:50,209
Oh! Oh.Yeah.
366
00:16:53,076 --> 00:16:55,076
Hi, I'’m Gemma.
367
00:16:55,122 --> 00:16:58,082
I really appreciate
your progressiveness
368
00:16:58,125 --> 00:16:59,125
and your willingness
to objectify yourself
369
00:16:59,169 --> 00:17:00,519
for my pleasure.
370
00:17:00,562 --> 00:17:03,822
Gemma, shut up and
make some noise!
371
00:17:05,393 --> 00:17:07,693
Now, where are you comfortable
with me putting my hands?
372
00:17:07,743 --> 00:17:10,353
That works.
373
00:17:10,398 --> 00:17:12,318
Come on, Gemma,
get out of your head.
374
00:17:12,356 --> 00:17:14,406
This is our girls'’ trip.
375
00:17:14,445 --> 00:17:17,145
You'’re right.
Like Thelma and Louise.
376
00:17:17,187 --> 00:17:18,887
Yes. There you go.Yeah.
377
00:17:18,928 --> 00:17:20,328
Now, come on, Thelma.
Do you trust me?
378
00:17:20,364 --> 00:17:21,884
I do, Louise.
379
00:17:21,931 --> 00:17:23,751
Do you trust in the magic
of Vegas?
380
00:17:23,802 --> 00:17:24,932
Yes.
381
00:17:24,977 --> 00:17:26,027
And of our girls'’ trips?
382
00:17:26,066 --> 00:17:29,246
Ooh-- okay.
383
00:17:29,286 --> 00:17:31,116
Then, come on, girl,
let'’s ride this thing
384
00:17:31,158 --> 00:17:32,288
over the cliff together!
385
00:17:33,682 --> 00:17:35,462
You sit down.
I can do this.
386
00:17:35,510 --> 00:17:37,690
See, I used to do
this back in the day.
387
00:17:37,729 --> 00:17:39,469
Hey, hey.
388
00:17:51,003 --> 00:17:54,093
And to think, after this, we can
still go to Donny and Marie!
389
00:17:56,531 --> 00:17:58,701
Okay, Calvin,
how we doing?
390
00:17:58,750 --> 00:18:00,970
I don'’t know what your hands
391
00:18:01,013 --> 00:18:04,493
are doing back there, Dave,
but don'’t stop.
392
00:18:06,628 --> 00:18:08,758
Do you think Pop'’s
gonna remember any of this?
393
00:18:08,804 --> 00:18:11,634
No, I don'’t.
394
00:18:11,676 --> 00:18:13,986
Which is why I'’ve
been recording.
395
00:18:17,117 --> 00:18:18,597
Okay.
396
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:21,170
I think we got
all the knots out.
397
00:18:21,208 --> 00:18:23,168
Oh, man, fight'’s over.
398
00:18:23,210 --> 00:18:24,610
Yeah, but I think
we can all agree
399
00:18:24,646 --> 00:18:26,126
that this was
the main event.
400
00:18:29,477 --> 00:18:32,007
How you doing, Calvin?
You feeling okay?
401
00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:33,824
Oh, so much better.
402
00:18:33,872 --> 00:18:36,092
You know what?
403
00:18:36,136 --> 00:18:39,486
Dave, I... have to admit,
404
00:18:39,530 --> 00:18:43,020
when Malcolm first suggested
inviting you tonight,
405
00:18:43,055 --> 00:18:46,715
I was like "Boo.
406
00:18:46,755 --> 00:18:49,275
Bad idea."
407
00:18:49,323 --> 00:18:53,893
But now I'’m more like,
"Yay!
408
00:18:53,936 --> 00:18:55,716
Dave'’s here."
409
00:18:57,679 --> 00:18:59,729
Well, I-I'’m glad
you came around.
410
00:18:59,768 --> 00:19:03,378
Now, don'’t tell you
I said this.
411
00:19:06,166 --> 00:19:08,426
I don'’t give you
enough credit.
412
00:19:08,472 --> 00:19:12,122
I mean, you'’re not as soft
as I thought.
413
00:19:12,172 --> 00:19:14,952
Sure, yeah,
you smile too much
414
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:17,960
and you go
to Disneyland by yourself...
415
00:19:21,833 --> 00:19:27,443
...but you, you got up
on that roof with a chain saw
416
00:19:27,491 --> 00:19:30,311
and you did something
dangerous and stupid.
417
00:19:32,366 --> 00:19:35,366
And to me, that'’s a man.
418
00:19:38,894 --> 00:19:41,154
I appreciate that, Calvin.
419
00:19:41,201 --> 00:19:43,201
Okeydokey.
420
00:19:43,246 --> 00:19:45,116
My eyes are gonna
go to sleep now.
421
00:19:52,386 --> 00:19:54,386
Sweet dreams, buddy.
422
00:19:56,825 --> 00:19:59,175
Oh, and I'’m gonna
need copies of that
423
00:19:59,219 --> 00:20:01,359
texted and e-mailed to me
immediately!
424
00:20:09,925 --> 00:20:11,185
Hey, Dave.
425
00:20:11,231 --> 00:20:13,011
Oh, hey, Calvin.
How'’s the back?
426
00:20:13,058 --> 00:20:16,458
Eh, a little sore, but better.
427
00:20:16,497 --> 00:20:18,887
Man, those pills were strong.
428
00:20:18,934 --> 00:20:21,414
I don'’t even remember the fight.
429
00:20:21,458 --> 00:20:24,418
Oh, well, uh...
430
00:20:24,461 --> 00:20:25,501
you enjoyed it.
431
00:20:30,250 --> 00:20:31,520
Oh, hey, honey.
How was your trip?
432
00:20:31,555 --> 00:20:33,465
I'’ll tell you
all about it inside.
433
00:20:33,514 --> 00:20:34,684
Well, you don'’t want
to grab your bag...Nope.
434
00:20:34,732 --> 00:20:36,082
Mama came home hungry.
435
00:20:42,523 --> 00:20:45,913
Oh, no. No, no, no.
Tina, I know that look,
436
00:20:45,961 --> 00:20:47,911
but, baby,
I hurt my back, okay?
437
00:20:47,963 --> 00:20:50,393
Oh, you poor baby.
438
00:20:50,444 --> 00:20:52,354
It'’s a good thing
I only need your front.
439
00:20:55,187 --> 00:20:56,927
All right, all right.
440
00:20:56,972 --> 00:20:59,232
But first, let me take
my period pills.
441
00:20:59,279 --> 00:21:00,199
All right.
442
00:21:04,936 --> 00:21:08,986
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
443
00:21:09,027 --> 00:21:10,637
Captioned by
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