1 00:00:04,503 --> 00:00:06,803 Hey, babe, babe, babe, check it out. 2 00:00:06,853 --> 00:00:08,203 The biggest one they had. 3 00:00:08,246 --> 00:00:12,426 Boom! 23 pounds. 4 00:00:12,468 --> 00:00:14,208 There'’s gonna be so much leftover turkey, 5 00:00:14,252 --> 00:00:16,382 I'’m gonna be sleepy for weeks. 6 00:00:16,428 --> 00:00:18,128 Well, put it back. 7 00:00:18,169 --> 00:00:19,649 There'’s only four of us, 8 00:00:19,692 --> 00:00:21,472 and I'’m not cooking that big-ass turkey. 9 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:23,140 Where'’s your Thanksgiving spirit, babe? 10 00:00:23,174 --> 00:00:24,744 I'’ll tell you where. 11 00:00:24,784 --> 00:00:26,174 Out on your brother'’s boat, 12 00:00:26,221 --> 00:00:27,741 with the rest of your family. 13 00:00:27,787 --> 00:00:29,967 You know what, I don'’t care if he invited us. 14 00:00:30,007 --> 00:00:33,447 I'’m done letting Curtis throw his lotto money in my face. 15 00:00:33,489 --> 00:00:34,969 He wouldn'’t even never won 16 00:00:35,012 --> 00:00:36,622 if I wouldn'’t have stopped at that gas station 17 00:00:36,666 --> 00:00:38,056 to get Mama a Pepsi. 18 00:00:38,102 --> 00:00:41,012 Look, I thought I was gonna have the day off. 19 00:00:41,062 --> 00:00:42,802 Just get a smaller one, 20 00:00:42,846 --> 00:00:44,626 and stop trying to make me cook a pterodactyl. 21 00:00:44,674 --> 00:00:47,244 Fine. How big? 22 00:00:47,285 --> 00:00:49,245 Let'’s go with 12 pounds. 23 00:00:49,287 --> 00:00:52,817 12 pounds? What the rest of y'’all gonna eat? 24 00:00:52,856 --> 00:00:54,206 Fine. 25 00:00:56,903 --> 00:00:58,203 Hi, Tina. 26 00:00:58,253 --> 00:00:59,903 Oh, hey, guys. What'’s up? 27 00:00:59,950 --> 00:01:02,440 Ooh, looks like you'’re stocking up for the big day, huh? 28 00:01:02,474 --> 00:01:04,384 So, you have a bunch of family coming over? 29 00:01:04,433 --> 00:01:07,083 No, just Calvin and the boys sitting on the couch 30 00:01:07,131 --> 00:01:09,521 while I cook my butt off in the kitchen, 31 00:01:09,568 --> 00:01:11,528 sweating over a stove, you know, alone. 32 00:01:11,570 --> 00:01:13,750 A holiday. 33 00:01:13,790 --> 00:01:15,190 Well, if that'’s the case, 34 00:01:15,226 --> 00:01:16,406 you should just come to our house. 35 00:01:16,445 --> 00:01:17,745 Right, Gemma?I'’d love that. 36 00:01:17,794 --> 00:01:19,794 Well, are you sure? I don'’t want to impose. 37 00:01:19,839 --> 00:01:22,149 Come on, it'’ll be fun. The men can watch football, 38 00:01:22,190 --> 00:01:24,150 and you can keep me company while I do all the cooking. 39 00:01:24,192 --> 00:01:26,282 Okay, great, we'’re coming. 40 00:01:26,324 --> 00:01:28,324 Awesome. We'’ll see you Thursday around noon? 41 00:01:28,370 --> 00:01:30,640 Are you sure I can'’t bring anything? We'’re sure. 42 00:01:30,676 --> 00:01:33,376 Good. That'’s the answer I was looking for. 43 00:01:33,418 --> 00:01:34,898 All right.Hey, babe. 44 00:01:34,941 --> 00:01:37,021 Yeah? Sorry. 45 00:01:37,074 --> 00:01:38,774 They didn'’t have any 12-pounders, 46 00:01:38,815 --> 00:01:41,165 so I just rounded up to a 20. 47 00:01:41,209 --> 00:01:44,389 Well, put it back, '’cause we'’re going to the Johnsons'. 48 00:01:44,429 --> 00:01:45,569 The Johnsons'’?Uh-huh. 49 00:01:45,604 --> 00:01:47,214 You joking, right, Tina?Nope. 50 00:01:47,258 --> 00:01:48,958 I had to fight two people to get this turkey. 51 00:01:48,999 --> 00:01:50,479 One lady threw her dentures at me. 52 00:01:50,522 --> 00:01:53,872 Ooh, there she is right there. 53 00:01:53,917 --> 00:01:55,787 ♪ Welcome to the block, welcome to the neighborhood ♪ 54 00:01:55,832 --> 00:01:56,522 ♪ Welcome to the hood. 55 00:02:03,535 --> 00:02:05,185 Gemma, I have terrible news. 56 00:02:05,233 --> 00:02:06,713 I just got off the phone with my mother. 57 00:02:06,756 --> 00:02:08,536 Oh, no, did something happen to her? 58 00:02:08,584 --> 00:02:10,804 Worse. She'’s coming for Thanksgiving. 59 00:02:10,847 --> 00:02:12,287 What? 60 00:02:12,327 --> 00:02:13,847 I thought she was going to your Aunt Gail'’s. 61 00:02:13,893 --> 00:02:16,153 Well, yeah, apparently they got into a fight 62 00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:19,210 over which is better, NCISor NCIS: Los Angeles. 63 00:02:20,987 --> 00:02:23,467 And now she'’s coming here instead. 64 00:02:23,512 --> 00:02:25,992 But why is it bad that Grammy'’s coming? 65 00:02:26,036 --> 00:02:27,866 Oh, it'’s not bad, Grover. It'’s terrible. 66 00:02:27,907 --> 00:02:29,037 Dave! 67 00:02:29,082 --> 00:02:31,302 I... Okay. 68 00:02:31,346 --> 00:02:33,826 Look, you know that nobody loves Grammy more than I do, 69 00:02:33,870 --> 00:02:35,700 but... she'’s getting a little bit older 70 00:02:35,741 --> 00:02:38,261 and she comes from a small town and, well, 71 00:02:38,309 --> 00:02:40,969 you know how we tell you that there are things 72 00:02:41,007 --> 00:02:42,707 that people might think 73 00:02:42,748 --> 00:02:45,708 but should never, ever say?Yeah. 74 00:02:45,751 --> 00:02:47,661 Grammy doesn'’t believe that'’s true. 75 00:02:47,710 --> 00:02:50,240 Yeah. Hey, buddy. 76 00:02:50,278 --> 00:02:51,938 Can I talk to Mommy alone for a minute? 77 00:02:51,975 --> 00:02:53,845 Are you gonna tell her something about Grammy 78 00:02:53,890 --> 00:02:54,940 that you think but shouldn'’t say? 79 00:02:54,978 --> 00:02:56,508 Yes. 80 00:02:59,548 --> 00:03:01,678 Gemma, what are we gonna do? 81 00:03:01,724 --> 00:03:04,074 We have to uninvite the Butlers. 82 00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:06,777 Sweetie, it'’s the day before Thanksgiving; that'’d be rude. 83 00:03:06,816 --> 00:03:08,386 Ruder than my mom? 84 00:03:08,426 --> 00:03:09,996 Remember when she went off on that lady 85 00:03:10,036 --> 00:03:12,606 about how we need to "build the wall"? 86 00:03:12,648 --> 00:03:15,658 Yes, I do. 87 00:03:15,694 --> 00:03:19,654 We had to start going to a different Taco Bell. 88 00:03:19,698 --> 00:03:22,618 Gemma, she is going to ruin Thanksgiving, I know it. 89 00:03:22,658 --> 00:03:24,448 Sweetie, I know you get embarrassed by your mom, 90 00:03:24,486 --> 00:03:25,876 but she'’s an adult. 91 00:03:25,922 --> 00:03:27,312 You'’re not in charge of her behavior. 92 00:03:27,358 --> 00:03:29,798 And what if she says something offensive to the Butlers? 93 00:03:29,839 --> 00:03:31,319 You know, Calvin and I are starting 94 00:03:31,362 --> 00:03:32,622 to become such good friends. 95 00:03:34,496 --> 00:03:36,066 I know. But you know what? 96 00:03:36,106 --> 00:03:38,106 Maybe it'’s a good thing she'’s coming. 97 00:03:38,151 --> 00:03:39,931 You always say the reason she'’s the way she is 98 00:03:39,979 --> 00:03:42,069 is because she only knows people just like her. 99 00:03:42,112 --> 00:03:44,022 We can help change that. 100 00:03:44,070 --> 00:03:46,030 Okay, you know, m-maybe you'’re right. 101 00:03:46,072 --> 00:03:47,552 You know, maybe this is a chance 102 00:03:47,596 --> 00:03:49,296 for us to broaden her horizons. 103 00:03:49,337 --> 00:03:50,647 To introduce her to 104 00:03:50,686 --> 00:03:53,126 a new spectrum of people. Exactly. 105 00:03:53,166 --> 00:03:56,036 Grammy wants to know how often there are riots around here. 106 00:03:56,082 --> 00:03:57,562 Oh, no... 107 00:03:59,434 --> 00:04:01,524 Can I uninvite them now? 108 00:04:01,566 --> 00:04:02,476 Why are you still standing here? 109 00:04:04,221 --> 00:04:06,131 I cannot believe that we'’re going 110 00:04:06,179 --> 00:04:08,269 to the Johnsons'’ for Thanksgiving. 111 00:04:08,312 --> 00:04:10,312 I mean, since we weren'’t going to 112 00:04:10,358 --> 00:04:12,628 my brother Curtis'’s, I thought I could finally 113 00:04:12,664 --> 00:04:14,404 start my own Thanksgiving traditions. 114 00:04:14,449 --> 00:04:15,849 Like what? 115 00:04:15,885 --> 00:04:17,925 Like not going to the Johnsons'’. 116 00:04:19,236 --> 00:04:21,156 [doorbell rings] 117 00:04:21,194 --> 00:04:23,154 Well, I plan on laying around 118 00:04:23,196 --> 00:04:25,376 while somebody else worries about the cooking. 119 00:04:25,416 --> 00:04:26,636 Feels good to be a man. 120 00:04:29,072 --> 00:04:32,242 Hey, Calvin.Come on in, man. 121 00:04:32,293 --> 00:04:34,033 Hey, I wanted to talk to you guys about tomorrow. 122 00:04:34,077 --> 00:04:36,477 I'’m not wearing a pilgrim'’s hat, Dave. 123 00:04:36,514 --> 00:04:39,424 Well, good news: you won'’t have to 124 00:04:39,474 --> 00:04:41,604 because I'’m here to, um, uninvite you. 125 00:04:41,650 --> 00:04:43,260 What? 126 00:04:43,304 --> 00:04:44,784 My man, Dave! 127 00:04:44,827 --> 00:04:46,307 Wait a minute. [laughing] 128 00:04:46,350 --> 00:04:47,530 Wait a minute.Oh, yeah. 129 00:04:47,569 --> 00:04:49,009 Hold up. 130 00:04:49,048 --> 00:04:50,488 What do you mean, you'’re uninviting us? 131 00:04:50,528 --> 00:04:52,398 Come on, it doesn'’t matter, Tina. You know? 132 00:04:52,443 --> 00:04:54,353 We already hugged it out and everything; a deal'’s a deal. 133 00:04:54,402 --> 00:04:55,752 Oh, no. Wait, wait, wait. 134 00:04:55,794 --> 00:04:57,184 Wait, where you going? No, no. 135 00:04:57,230 --> 00:04:59,280 I want to know what happened. 136 00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:01,460 Well, as it turns out, my mom is surprising us 137 00:05:01,496 --> 00:05:03,366 and flying in from Michigan and, uh... 138 00:05:03,411 --> 00:05:05,761 [chuckles] ...she can be kind of a handful. 139 00:05:05,804 --> 00:05:08,284 What do you mean, she'’s a handful? 140 00:05:08,329 --> 00:05:10,939 Now, Tina, Tina. The lady'’s a handful. 141 00:05:10,983 --> 00:05:12,283 What else do you need to know? Come on. 142 00:05:12,333 --> 00:05:14,723 Well, look, it just, it'’s... 143 00:05:14,770 --> 00:05:15,950 You know, she'’s from a small town, 144 00:05:15,988 --> 00:05:17,298 she'’s kind of old-school, 145 00:05:17,338 --> 00:05:18,388 she can be pretty conservative. 146 00:05:18,426 --> 00:05:20,206 Oh, she'’s racist. 147 00:05:22,343 --> 00:05:23,863 No, she-she'’s not racist, 148 00:05:23,909 --> 00:05:25,739 she just says things most people know not to 149 00:05:25,781 --> 00:05:27,731 because they'’re horribly offensive. 150 00:05:27,783 --> 00:05:29,003 So she'’s like Calvin. 151 00:05:30,612 --> 00:05:32,432 How am I offensive? 152 00:05:32,483 --> 00:05:34,653 I mean, you'’re not offensive as a person, 153 00:05:34,703 --> 00:05:36,963 but you know, it'’s, it'’s just your words 154 00:05:37,009 --> 00:05:38,799 and your tone 155 00:05:38,837 --> 00:05:40,017 and your opinions. 156 00:05:42,058 --> 00:05:43,318 I just tell the truth, Tina. 157 00:05:43,364 --> 00:05:44,884 Hmm. It'’s not my fault 158 00:05:44,930 --> 00:05:47,370 that a bunch of little crybabies can'’t handle it. 159 00:05:47,411 --> 00:05:49,021 That'’s actually how my mom started 160 00:05:49,065 --> 00:05:50,415 her Christmas letter last year. 161 00:05:52,460 --> 00:05:53,640 Listen, baby, I'’m not trying to make 162 00:05:53,678 --> 00:05:55,508 you feel bad, but you know you are not gonna 163 00:05:55,550 --> 00:05:57,560 be able to be around somebody like Dave'’s mom. 164 00:05:57,595 --> 00:05:59,375 So, I guess I'’ll be doing 165 00:05:59,423 --> 00:06:02,123 the cooking this year after all. 166 00:06:02,165 --> 00:06:04,425 T-Tina, no. You know what? 167 00:06:04,472 --> 00:06:06,692 No, you sit back and relax. 168 00:06:06,735 --> 00:06:08,345 You'’re gonna get that day off that you deserve. 169 00:06:09,477 --> 00:06:12,307 No. No, no, no. 170 00:06:12,349 --> 00:06:13,699 We agreed; we hugged and everything. 171 00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:18,048 Sorry, Dave. 172 00:06:18,094 --> 00:06:19,394 I reject your uninvite. 173 00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:23,580 We'’re coming to your house for Thanksgiving. 174 00:06:23,621 --> 00:06:25,791 Calvin, what about my mom? 175 00:06:25,841 --> 00:06:27,271 Doesn'’t matter. 176 00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:28,800 You know, like I always say, 177 00:06:28,844 --> 00:06:30,494 when they go low, I go high. 178 00:06:30,541 --> 00:06:33,021 That'’s right, that'’s right. 179 00:06:33,065 --> 00:06:34,935 And that'’s exactly what I'’m gonna do. 180 00:06:34,980 --> 00:06:37,070 Mm-hmm.No matter what 181 00:06:37,113 --> 00:06:40,243 your backwoods, whitebread, hillbilly-ass mama has to say. 182 00:06:42,379 --> 00:06:44,519 I can'’t believe this weather. 183 00:06:44,555 --> 00:06:46,515 In November! [chuckles] 184 00:06:46,557 --> 00:06:47,867 It'’s nice, isn't it? 185 00:06:47,906 --> 00:06:50,126 Grover can play outside all year round. 186 00:06:50,169 --> 00:06:51,869 That'’s wonderful. 187 00:06:51,910 --> 00:06:53,390 Makes you wonder why people are always 188 00:06:53,434 --> 00:06:54,864 shooting each other out here. 189 00:06:56,698 --> 00:06:58,878 People shoot each other out here? 190 00:06:58,917 --> 00:07:01,837 All the time, honey. 191 00:07:01,877 --> 00:07:04,007 Mom, that'’s-that's not true. 192 00:07:04,053 --> 00:07:06,143 It is according to my news channel. 193 00:07:06,185 --> 00:07:08,145 Well, not according to mine. 194 00:07:08,187 --> 00:07:10,277 You should really try to watch more than one of them. 195 00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:12,020 Fine. How many do you watch? 196 00:07:12,061 --> 00:07:15,971 Well, uh, one. 197 00:07:16,021 --> 00:07:18,151 Oh! I brought cookies. 198 00:07:18,197 --> 00:07:19,247 Oh. [chuckles] 199 00:07:19,285 --> 00:07:20,805 Buddy, just-just one, okay? 200 00:07:20,852 --> 00:07:22,022 We have dinner later. 201 00:07:22,071 --> 00:07:23,501 Hmm, your daddy could never stop 202 00:07:23,551 --> 00:07:25,501 at just one. [chuckles] 203 00:07:25,553 --> 00:07:26,593 In middle school, we had to shop 204 00:07:26,641 --> 00:07:28,291 in the husky section. 205 00:07:30,514 --> 00:07:34,774 Oh, but look at that chiseled, handsome face now. 206 00:07:34,823 --> 00:07:36,563 Oh, baby, your skin is dry. 207 00:07:36,607 --> 00:07:38,177 Are you using moisturizer? 208 00:07:38,217 --> 00:07:41,657 Y-Yes, Mom, I'’m sufficiently moist. 209 00:07:41,699 --> 00:07:43,489 Well, I hope it has SPF, 210 00:07:43,527 --> 00:07:45,007 because if it doesn'’t have SPF, 211 00:07:45,050 --> 00:07:46,230 you'’re gonna end up with cancer 212 00:07:46,269 --> 00:07:47,749 just like your Uncle John. 213 00:07:47,792 --> 00:07:49,442 I didn'’t know Uncle John has cancer. 214 00:07:49,490 --> 00:07:51,410 He had to get his ear removed. 215 00:07:53,668 --> 00:07:55,978 But it went fine, he had a Jewish doctor. 216 00:07:56,018 --> 00:07:57,408 Mom... 217 00:07:57,454 --> 00:07:59,194 "A Jewish doctor"? 218 00:07:59,238 --> 00:08:02,028 Yes. Everyone knows they'’re the best. 219 00:08:02,067 --> 00:08:03,417 Although, I now hear the Indian ones 220 00:08:03,460 --> 00:08:05,550 are catching up. [sighs] 221 00:08:05,593 --> 00:08:07,073 Hey, Grammy, look. 222 00:08:07,116 --> 00:08:08,726 There'’s my school. Oh. 223 00:08:08,770 --> 00:08:10,300 The school is pretty great. 224 00:08:10,336 --> 00:08:12,206 Gemma is doing an amazing job. 225 00:08:12,251 --> 00:08:14,071 You know, she just implemented a new curriculum 226 00:08:14,123 --> 00:08:15,423 that teaches the kids empathy. 227 00:08:15,472 --> 00:08:18,122 Oh, good for her. Oh, yeah. 228 00:08:18,170 --> 00:08:19,790 The kids have the rest of their lives 229 00:08:19,824 --> 00:08:21,564 to learn things like reading and math. 230 00:08:21,609 --> 00:08:24,489 Well, they teach those things, too. 231 00:08:24,525 --> 00:08:26,135 Oh, I'’m sure they do. 232 00:08:26,178 --> 00:08:30,138 Grover. Can you tell me the capital of Michigan? 233 00:08:30,182 --> 00:08:32,142 Sure.[iPad beeps] 234 00:08:32,184 --> 00:08:34,354 Siri, what'’s the capital of Michigan?[iPad beeps] 235 00:08:34,404 --> 00:08:37,754 SIRI: Lansing is the capital of Michigan. 236 00:08:37,799 --> 00:08:39,369 Hmm, well, at least he has empathy. 237 00:08:41,454 --> 00:08:43,324 Hey, I'’m sorry, Pop, but there'’s no way 238 00:08:43,369 --> 00:08:44,849 you'’re not fighting with Dave'’s mom. 239 00:08:44,893 --> 00:08:47,373 I know. A proud black patriarch going toe-to-toe 240 00:08:47,417 --> 00:08:48,987 with a loudmouth Midwestern grandma? 241 00:08:49,027 --> 00:08:51,467 Man, that should be a pay-per-view match. [laughs] 242 00:08:51,508 --> 00:08:53,508 Or at least a Tyler Perry movie. 243 00:08:53,554 --> 00:08:55,774 [laughing] 244 00:08:55,817 --> 00:08:57,777 Well, prepare to be disappointed. 245 00:08:57,819 --> 00:08:59,259 Because I'’m not gonna do anything 246 00:08:59,298 --> 00:09:01,128 to ruin your mother'’s holiday. 247 00:09:01,170 --> 00:09:02,520 Trust me, boys. 248 00:09:02,563 --> 00:09:04,733 You got to respect the mamas. 249 00:09:04,782 --> 00:09:07,612 Listen to your father; he'’s right. 250 00:09:07,655 --> 00:09:10,655 '’Cause he knows if he ruins this day for me, 251 00:09:10,701 --> 00:09:11,911 I'’m leaving him for your Uncle Curtis 252 00:09:11,963 --> 00:09:14,093 and his boat. 253 00:09:14,139 --> 00:09:15,709 Come on, girl. 254 00:09:15,750 --> 00:09:17,890 You know you can'’t leave all this. 255 00:09:17,926 --> 00:09:18,926 Come on, now. 256 00:09:20,798 --> 00:09:24,458 So, this is where you used to live 257 00:09:24,497 --> 00:09:27,717 and this is where you live now. 258 00:09:27,762 --> 00:09:32,242 Far, far away from me. 259 00:09:32,288 --> 00:09:34,508 [sighs] 260 00:09:34,551 --> 00:09:37,111 I miss seeing you all the time. 261 00:09:37,162 --> 00:09:39,292 Oh, I know honey. 262 00:09:39,338 --> 00:09:42,868 But this is where your mom and dad decided to move. 263 00:09:42,907 --> 00:09:45,517 For reasons maybe they can explain to both of us. 264 00:09:47,695 --> 00:09:49,395 Hey, Grover, can you go help Mommy in the kitchen? 265 00:09:49,435 --> 00:09:51,485 Okay. [chuckles] 266 00:09:51,524 --> 00:09:54,094 What'’s the capital of North Dakota?Bismarck. 267 00:09:54,136 --> 00:09:58,576 [laughs] You'’ll thank me when he gets into college. 268 00:09:58,619 --> 00:10:00,539 Okay, yeah, uh... 269 00:10:00,577 --> 00:10:03,017 Mom, listen; before our neighbors get here, 270 00:10:03,058 --> 00:10:05,718 I just want to talk to you about maybe being careful 271 00:10:05,756 --> 00:10:07,676 with some of the things that you say. 272 00:10:07,715 --> 00:10:10,415 Oh. Is this because they'’re black? 273 00:10:11,544 --> 00:10:13,724 Yes. 274 00:10:13,764 --> 00:10:15,674 And-and you'’re afraid 275 00:10:15,723 --> 00:10:17,243 I'’m going to say something rude. 276 00:10:17,289 --> 00:10:19,689 Exactly. 277 00:10:19,727 --> 00:10:21,467 Because they'’re always so sensitive... No. 278 00:10:21,511 --> 00:10:23,291 No, Mom. No. 279 00:10:23,339 --> 00:10:24,819 [doorbell rings] 280 00:10:24,862 --> 00:10:27,952 [laughs] It'’ll be fine, David, I promise you. 281 00:10:27,996 --> 00:10:30,436 You don'’t have to treat me like I'’m a child. 282 00:10:30,476 --> 00:10:31,606 Okay, you know what? You'’re right, Mom. 283 00:10:31,652 --> 00:10:33,392 I'’m-I'm sorry.Honestly. 284 00:10:33,436 --> 00:10:36,266 It'’s like you think I don't know how to talk to the blacks. 285 00:10:40,051 --> 00:10:42,611 ♪ 286 00:10:49,234 --> 00:10:51,104 Mom, how can you not know that it'’s wrong 287 00:10:51,149 --> 00:10:52,759 to refer to black people as "the blacks"? 288 00:10:52,803 --> 00:10:56,193 You live in Michigan, not the 1950s. 289 00:10:56,241 --> 00:11:00,631 You kids are so darn politically correct these days. 290 00:11:00,681 --> 00:11:02,811 It'’s like everyone's so worried about each other'’s feelings. 291 00:11:02,857 --> 00:11:05,117 You say that like it'’s a bad thing. 292 00:11:07,513 --> 00:11:08,863 I'’m sure they didn'’t even hear me, 293 00:11:08,906 --> 00:11:10,866 and if they did they would'’ve said something. 294 00:11:10,908 --> 00:11:13,348 I can'’t believe you didn'’t say something. 295 00:11:13,389 --> 00:11:16,659 I love your mother very much. 296 00:11:18,307 --> 00:11:20,657 I can'’t believe she really said that. 297 00:11:20,701 --> 00:11:21,831 I can. 298 00:11:23,921 --> 00:11:27,481 What I can'’t believe is that Calvin didn'’t lose his cool. 299 00:11:27,533 --> 00:11:30,493 Well, if I were you, I would'’ve turned right around and left. 300 00:11:30,536 --> 00:11:32,406 Are you kidding? 301 00:11:32,451 --> 00:11:34,751 I'’m sipping wine while a white lady and her son cook for me. 302 00:11:37,239 --> 00:11:42,289 If my ancestors could see me now, they'’d be like, 303 00:11:42,331 --> 00:11:45,241 "Look at you, Tina. You go, girl!" 304 00:11:47,858 --> 00:11:50,038 Okay, I have everyone'’s drinks. 305 00:11:50,078 --> 00:11:51,428 Ooh! Right. 306 00:11:51,470 --> 00:11:53,650 Yeah. 307 00:11:53,690 --> 00:11:56,130 Damn, Dave, these are strong. 308 00:11:56,171 --> 00:12:00,261 [coughing] 309 00:12:00,305 --> 00:12:04,005 Yeah, I thought I'’d get ahead of it and numb everyone'’s pain. 310 00:12:04,048 --> 00:12:07,708 So, I want to know more 311 00:12:07,748 --> 00:12:09,798 about all of you. 312 00:12:09,837 --> 00:12:10,797 Marty, right?Yeah. 313 00:12:10,838 --> 00:12:12,018 Um, what do you do? 314 00:12:12,056 --> 00:12:14,016 Oh, I'’m an engineer at JPL. 315 00:12:14,058 --> 00:12:16,668 Oh, what'’s that? A-A rap radio station? 316 00:12:20,630 --> 00:12:23,590 Mom, JPL stands for Jet Propulsion Laboratory. 317 00:12:23,633 --> 00:12:25,593 That'’s right. I work on the satellites. 318 00:12:25,635 --> 00:12:27,765 Oh, that'’s impressive.Yeah. 319 00:12:27,811 --> 00:12:29,331 You must have gone to an excellent school. 320 00:12:29,378 --> 00:12:31,378 I did. USC.Oh. 321 00:12:31,423 --> 00:12:33,863 In fact, Marty had a full scholarship. 322 00:12:33,904 --> 00:12:36,554 Oh, so does that mean you were an athlete? 323 00:12:36,602 --> 00:12:37,992 [laughs] 324 00:12:38,039 --> 00:12:39,569 CALVIN: Paula. 325 00:12:39,605 --> 00:12:40,865 Can I, can I call you Paula? 326 00:12:42,434 --> 00:12:44,824 Assuming that Marty was an athlete 327 00:12:44,872 --> 00:12:46,872 because he'’s black and went to college, 328 00:12:46,917 --> 00:12:50,097 well, some people might consider that a stereotype. 329 00:12:50,138 --> 00:12:52,838 Oh, really? It just seems that every athlete 330 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:54,100 I see on my TV is black. 331 00:12:57,188 --> 00:12:59,458 Should'’ve made these stronger. 332 00:12:59,495 --> 00:13:01,405 [chuckling] 333 00:13:01,453 --> 00:13:05,063 I mean, Paula, I mean, clearly you must know 334 00:13:05,109 --> 00:13:08,069 that not every black man is an athlete. 335 00:13:08,112 --> 00:13:11,072 Marty'’s scholarship was for his academic achievements. 336 00:13:11,115 --> 00:13:14,205 Oh. A-A-And what about you, Malcolm, 337 00:13:14,249 --> 00:13:16,119 did you also get an academic scholarship? 338 00:13:16,164 --> 00:13:18,034 Nope. [laughs] 339 00:13:20,168 --> 00:13:21,518 I was an athlete. 340 00:13:23,345 --> 00:13:26,045 Just like the ones you see on TV. 341 00:13:27,436 --> 00:13:28,396 He'’s unemployed, too. 342 00:13:33,964 --> 00:13:37,834 So, Calvin, I couldn'’t help but notice your truck outside. 343 00:13:37,881 --> 00:13:39,141 I mean, it is beautiful. 344 00:13:39,187 --> 00:13:40,407 Oh, thank you. 345 00:13:40,449 --> 00:13:42,589 Do you do the maintenance yourself? 346 00:13:42,625 --> 00:13:44,405 Yeah, you know, I'’ve been taking care of her 347 00:13:44,453 --> 00:13:46,323 ever since she belonged to my father. 348 00:13:46,368 --> 00:13:50,548 Oh, that'’s great. You know, us Michiganders, 349 00:13:50,589 --> 00:13:53,769 I mean, we love anyone who knows his way around a car. 350 00:13:53,810 --> 00:13:55,730 And you know what? I'’ll drink to that. 351 00:13:55,768 --> 00:13:57,728 Here, here, here. 352 00:13:57,770 --> 00:13:59,430 You know, in fact, 353 00:13:59,468 --> 00:14:02,038 my very first boyfriend, he was also a grease monkey. 354 00:14:04,516 --> 00:14:06,216 I-I-I ain'’t gonna be able to do this. 355 00:14:06,257 --> 00:14:09,177 Dad, remember, remember, respect the mamas. 356 00:14:10,914 --> 00:14:13,264 Calvin, I'’m-I'm sorry. Mom. 357 00:14:13,308 --> 00:14:16,268 You cannot call Calvin a monkey. 358 00:14:16,311 --> 00:14:18,921 It is an incredibly offensive term. 359 00:14:18,966 --> 00:14:22,576 I didn'’t call him a monkey. I called him a grease monkey. 360 00:14:24,406 --> 00:14:26,056 They'’re two totally different things. 361 00:14:26,103 --> 00:14:28,493 Not the way you say it. Mm-mm. 362 00:14:28,540 --> 00:14:30,020 You know what? 363 00:14:30,064 --> 00:14:34,244 I think I'’m gonna go outside and get some evening air. 364 00:14:34,285 --> 00:14:35,635 It'’s only 12:30. 365 00:14:35,678 --> 00:14:36,898 I know what damn time it is, Malcolm. 366 00:14:41,989 --> 00:14:44,339 Mom, you need to go outside and apologize to Calvin. 367 00:14:44,382 --> 00:14:45,732 For what? 368 00:14:45,775 --> 00:14:47,645 Well, for calling him a grease monkey. 369 00:14:47,690 --> 00:14:49,650 Now, I know you may not have meant it that way, 370 00:14:49,692 --> 00:14:52,732 but it is still incredibly offensive. 371 00:14:52,782 --> 00:14:53,952 Fine. 372 00:14:54,001 --> 00:14:55,871 If that'’s what'll make you happy. 373 00:14:55,916 --> 00:14:57,966 Thank you. 374 00:14:58,005 --> 00:15:00,655 But, honestly, you people can be so sensitive. 375 00:15:04,098 --> 00:15:06,448 We should do this every year. 376 00:15:06,491 --> 00:15:08,791 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 377 00:15:08,841 --> 00:15:10,231 Calvin, 378 00:15:10,278 --> 00:15:12,198 I owe you an apology. 379 00:15:12,236 --> 00:15:13,416 Oh, thank you. 380 00:15:13,455 --> 00:15:14,675 But if you ask me, 381 00:15:14,717 --> 00:15:16,067 I think you'’re overreacting. 382 00:15:16,110 --> 00:15:17,590 You think I'’m overreacting? 383 00:15:17,633 --> 00:15:19,503 After all that stuff you said in there? 384 00:15:19,548 --> 00:15:22,078 You mean about thinking Marty was an athlete? 385 00:15:22,116 --> 00:15:23,726 Why is that such a crime? 386 00:15:23,769 --> 00:15:26,909 Please, let'’s not start talking about crime. 387 00:15:26,947 --> 00:15:28,867 Let me tell you why, Paula. 388 00:15:28,905 --> 00:15:30,995 Because everything you think you know about black people 389 00:15:31,038 --> 00:15:32,568 is a stereotype. 390 00:15:32,604 --> 00:15:35,214 Oh, maybe, but in my experience, 391 00:15:35,259 --> 00:15:37,659 most stereotypes are rooted in the truth. 392 00:15:37,696 --> 00:15:40,616 Here I am standing right here in front of you 393 00:15:40,656 --> 00:15:43,356 telling you that they'’re not, yet you won'’t listen. 394 00:15:43,398 --> 00:15:45,008 Oh, I listen. 395 00:15:45,052 --> 00:15:46,792 Yeah, to fake news. 396 00:15:46,836 --> 00:15:48,966 Oh, you listen to fake news. 397 00:15:49,012 --> 00:15:50,492 Oh, no, yours is faker. 398 00:15:50,535 --> 00:15:52,845 No, I'’m sorry, yours is much faker. 399 00:15:52,885 --> 00:15:55,535 [overlapping arguing]Will you both please shut up? 400 00:15:58,108 --> 00:16:01,248 Did he just tell his mother to shut up? 401 00:16:01,285 --> 00:16:04,675 Did he just tell Calvin to shut up? 402 00:16:04,723 --> 00:16:07,983 I'’m done joking. 403 00:16:08,031 --> 00:16:11,251 I'’m-a sell this to pay-per-view. 404 00:16:11,295 --> 00:16:12,775 You need to stay out of this, Dave. 405 00:16:12,818 --> 00:16:14,608 We'’re just having a conversation. 406 00:16:14,646 --> 00:16:16,216 She just saying what she thinks. 407 00:16:16,257 --> 00:16:19,257 Yes, but what she thinks is awful. 408 00:16:19,303 --> 00:16:22,953 I have a right to my opinions. Don'’t talk about me like that. 409 00:16:23,003 --> 00:16:25,653 Oh, you mean like the way you talk about other people? 410 00:16:25,701 --> 00:16:28,091 It'’s like you don't care if what you say hurts them. 411 00:16:28,138 --> 00:16:30,538 You know, that'’s exactly what I was trying to say, Paula. 412 00:16:30,575 --> 00:16:32,095 [stammers] 413 00:16:32,142 --> 00:16:34,102 Everyone'’s just so sensitive these days. 414 00:16:34,144 --> 00:16:37,844 You know, I can actually agree with you about that. 415 00:16:37,887 --> 00:16:42,677 Yes, Mom, it'’s everyone else's fault for being so sensitive. 416 00:16:42,718 --> 00:16:45,858 It'’s probably from teaching empathy. 417 00:16:45,895 --> 00:16:48,205 I don'’t understand, Mom, 418 00:16:48,245 --> 00:16:51,555 how someone who I love so much, 419 00:16:51,596 --> 00:16:54,386 who I know deep down is a good person, 420 00:16:54,425 --> 00:16:58,035 can say such ignorant and embarrassing things as you. 421 00:17:01,432 --> 00:17:03,522 I'’m sorry you feel that way about your mother. 422 00:17:05,436 --> 00:17:06,956 Now if you'’ll excuse me... 423 00:17:09,223 --> 00:17:10,613 Oh, shoot, here she comes! 424 00:17:10,659 --> 00:17:12,319 [all exclaiming] 425 00:17:17,361 --> 00:17:18,921 I'’m sorry if I offended any of you. 426 00:17:18,971 --> 00:17:21,531 That was never my intention. 427 00:17:21,583 --> 00:17:25,103 So, if you'’ll excuse me, I'’m gonna go pack my bags. 428 00:17:25,152 --> 00:17:27,062 Wait, no, no, no, no, no. Paula, Paula, please don'’t leave. 429 00:17:27,110 --> 00:17:28,770 You'’re family. 430 00:17:28,807 --> 00:17:31,677 Yeah, Grammy, I don'’t want you to go. 431 00:17:31,723 --> 00:17:35,373 I know, honey, but clearly 432 00:17:35,423 --> 00:17:37,983 your father doesn'’t want me here, so... 433 00:17:38,034 --> 00:17:40,344 I guess now we know why you moved so far away. 434 00:17:43,170 --> 00:17:44,910 Dave, 435 00:17:44,954 --> 00:17:46,734 you can'’t talk to your mother like that. 436 00:17:46,782 --> 00:17:48,132 You need to chill, man. 437 00:17:48,175 --> 00:17:49,655 Are you really defending her? 438 00:17:49,698 --> 00:17:51,398 Oh, I'’ll do more than that. 439 00:17:51,439 --> 00:17:53,659 If she wanted to whup you, I would hold you down. 440 00:17:53,702 --> 00:17:55,652 Look. 441 00:17:55,704 --> 00:17:57,574 She'’s just speaking her mind, man. 442 00:17:57,619 --> 00:18:00,279 It'’s not her fault that she is wildly misinformed. 443 00:18:01,971 --> 00:18:05,801 Misinformed? She'’s worse than misinformed. 444 00:18:05,844 --> 00:18:08,844 Yeah, well, at least with her you know where you stand. 445 00:18:08,891 --> 00:18:11,891 Yes, and because of that, I wore a T-shirt in the pool 446 00:18:11,937 --> 00:18:13,597 until I was 18 years old. 447 00:18:16,246 --> 00:18:19,906 Trust me, Dave, you'’re better off knowing what someone thinks. 448 00:18:19,945 --> 00:18:22,515 It'’s when you don't is when they could sneak up on you. 449 00:18:22,557 --> 00:18:25,217 When who sneaks up on you? 450 00:18:25,255 --> 00:18:28,255 The people that can hurt you most. 451 00:18:28,302 --> 00:18:31,472 Like a son telling his mom she embarrasses him. 452 00:18:31,522 --> 00:18:33,172 Yeah, but she does. 453 00:18:33,220 --> 00:18:36,140 It doesn'’t matter. She gave you life, man. 454 00:18:36,179 --> 00:18:39,099 She deserves your respect. 455 00:18:39,139 --> 00:18:43,189 Look, Paula is who she is, she'’s not gonna change. 456 00:18:43,230 --> 00:18:45,500 But she'’s also not gonna be around forever. 457 00:18:45,536 --> 00:18:47,796 And when she'’s not? 458 00:18:47,843 --> 00:18:50,193 I don'’t care how much she embarrasses you, 459 00:18:50,237 --> 00:18:52,807 you gonna miss her like you never missed anybody before. 460 00:18:56,547 --> 00:18:59,077 Sounds like you know what you'’re talking about. 461 00:18:59,115 --> 00:19:01,895 I do. I miss my mother every day. 462 00:19:04,903 --> 00:19:06,423 When did she pass? 463 00:19:06,470 --> 00:19:07,780 Oh, she didn'’t pass. 464 00:19:09,604 --> 00:19:14,214 No, she just travels around the world with my brother, Curtis. 465 00:19:14,261 --> 00:19:16,471 He has to buy her love. 466 00:19:19,222 --> 00:19:20,742 Well, now I feel like a jerk. 467 00:19:20,789 --> 00:19:23,619 Well, look, you'’ll be fine, man. 468 00:19:23,661 --> 00:19:26,481 Just go in there and apologize, 469 00:19:26,534 --> 00:19:29,364 let her know she'’s the most important woman in your life, 470 00:19:29,406 --> 00:19:31,716 and that you'’ll love her no matter what. 471 00:19:35,238 --> 00:19:38,028 You think she'’ll forgive me? 472 00:19:38,067 --> 00:19:39,857 Of course, man. 473 00:19:39,895 --> 00:19:42,895 I mean, just tell her the only reason that you yelled at her 474 00:19:42,941 --> 00:19:44,851 is that you'’ve been living around all these black people 475 00:19:44,900 --> 00:19:45,990 and they made you crazy. 476 00:19:53,300 --> 00:19:55,480 I'’m glad you decided to stay, Grammy. 477 00:19:55,519 --> 00:20:00,659 Aw, well, I'’m glad your father convinced me to. 478 00:20:00,698 --> 00:20:04,448 I'’ve never seen your mom change her mind. How'’d you do it? 479 00:20:04,485 --> 00:20:06,055 Well, I just told her the truth. 480 00:20:06,095 --> 00:20:07,615 I said, even though we fight sometimes, 481 00:20:07,662 --> 00:20:10,442 she'’s still my mom and I'’ll always love her. 482 00:20:10,491 --> 00:20:12,271 And that was enough? 483 00:20:12,319 --> 00:20:14,409 No. 484 00:20:14,451 --> 00:20:15,881 She also thought her Uber driver 485 00:20:15,931 --> 00:20:17,411 looked like a terrorist she saw on TV. 486 00:20:20,762 --> 00:20:22,762 You know, Gemma, this food is really delicious. 487 00:20:22,807 --> 00:20:24,467 Yeah, Gemma, for a skinny white girl, 488 00:20:24,505 --> 00:20:26,245 you sure can burn like you black. 489 00:20:26,289 --> 00:20:28,209 [laughter] 490 00:20:28,248 --> 00:20:31,168 Oh. You know what, I'’d like to make a toast. 491 00:20:31,207 --> 00:20:35,907 To the Johnson and the Butler families, 492 00:20:35,951 --> 00:20:37,951 two families that have a lot to be thankful for. 493 00:20:39,607 --> 00:20:41,267 And even though 494 00:20:41,304 --> 00:20:43,474 we don'’t always see eye to eye, 495 00:20:43,524 --> 00:20:47,574 it'’s good to know that if we communicate honestly, 496 00:20:47,615 --> 00:20:49,615 we can always find common ground. 497 00:20:51,358 --> 00:20:52,748 Here, here. 498 00:20:52,794 --> 00:20:53,704 [overlapping talking] 499 00:20:53,751 --> 00:20:55,181 I would just like to add to... 500 00:20:55,231 --> 00:20:56,751 EVERYONE ELSE: No, no, no, no, no, no! 501 00:20:56,798 --> 00:20:58,798 Captioning sponsored by CBS 502 00:21:02,717 --> 00:21:05,457 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org