1 00:00:03,459 --> 00:00:04,939 All right, fellas, come on now. 2 00:00:04,982 --> 00:00:06,242 Let's go down to the barbershop. 3 00:00:06,288 --> 00:00:08,028 Babe, we'll see you later.Okay, baby. 4 00:00:08,072 --> 00:00:10,902 Come here and give me some of that sugar, girl.Uh-uh. 5 00:00:10,944 --> 00:00:12,514 No! What you doing? 6 00:00:12,555 --> 00:00:14,075 Not with all that gray stubble. 7 00:00:14,122 --> 00:00:16,992 I'm too young and hot to be messing with some old man. 8 00:00:17,038 --> 00:00:19,648 [chuckles] I might be gray in the face, Mm-hmm. 9 00:00:19,692 --> 00:00:21,342 but I'm young below the waist, girl. Uh-uh. 10 00:00:21,390 --> 00:00:23,270 Uh-uh, uh-uh, get it, get it.Come on. Come on now. 11 00:00:23,305 --> 00:00:24,825 Oh! Ah! 12 00:00:29,093 --> 00:00:32,053 Can't believe I still live here. 13 00:00:32,096 --> 00:00:34,576 Yeah, I can't believe there's only two of us. 14 00:00:37,928 --> 00:00:39,538 CALVIN: Oh, damn. There's Dave. 15 00:00:39,582 --> 00:00:41,492 Shh. Let's sneak to the truck. Nobody say anything-- 16 00:00:41,540 --> 00:00:43,550 Hi, Dave! 17 00:00:43,586 --> 00:00:45,766 Hey, guys. 18 00:00:45,805 --> 00:00:47,895 If I knew you were gonna be like this, 19 00:00:47,938 --> 00:00:49,898 it wouldn'tbe two of you. 20 00:00:49,940 --> 00:00:52,160 Hey, what's up, Dave? Where are you headed? 21 00:00:52,203 --> 00:00:53,983 Oh, man, all over the place. 22 00:00:54,031 --> 00:00:56,771 Gemma gave me a big honey-do list to take care of. 23 00:00:56,816 --> 00:01:00,086 Grocery shopping, dry cleaners, The Container Store. 24 00:01:02,126 --> 00:01:03,436 That last one's just for me. 25 00:01:05,390 --> 00:01:07,220 How about you guys? Where are you off to? 26 00:01:07,262 --> 00:01:08,782 We are headed to the barbershop. 27 00:01:08,828 --> 00:01:11,098 Ooh, can I come? I've been meaning to get my ears lowered. 28 00:01:13,311 --> 00:01:14,701 You've been meaning to what? 29 00:01:14,747 --> 00:01:16,837 Dave, I work with a lot of white people, 30 00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:19,100 and even I don't know what that means. 31 00:01:19,143 --> 00:01:21,843 "Getting your ears lowered" means getting a haircut, 32 00:01:21,885 --> 00:01:24,665 'cause afterwards your shorter hair looks higher in relation 33 00:01:24,714 --> 00:01:28,764 to your ears, so your ears look lower by comparison. 34 00:01:31,460 --> 00:01:34,120 Uh, no, you can't come. 35 00:01:34,158 --> 00:01:36,078 Okay, why-why not? 36 00:01:36,117 --> 00:01:40,127 Dave, it's a black barbershop. It's not Supercuts. 37 00:01:40,164 --> 00:01:41,594 Okay. 38 00:01:41,644 --> 00:01:43,424 Hey, look, don't take it personally, Dave. 39 00:01:43,472 --> 00:01:45,252 It's just, our barbershop 40 00:01:45,300 --> 00:01:47,520 is not the friendliest place when you're new. 41 00:01:47,563 --> 00:01:49,473 Yeah, it's barely friendly when you're not new. 42 00:01:49,521 --> 00:01:51,691 [laughs] It's so... it's so true. 43 00:01:51,741 --> 00:01:53,221 One time when he was six, 44 00:01:53,264 --> 00:01:55,174 he ate a bad bean pie in there, 45 00:01:55,223 --> 00:01:57,963 and ever since then, they've been calling him Farty Marty. 46 00:01:58,008 --> 00:01:59,968 [laughter] 47 00:02:00,010 --> 00:02:02,190 Look, I'm just saying, Dave, if-if you walked in there, 48 00:02:02,230 --> 00:02:04,280 they would roast you pretty hard. Yeah. 49 00:02:04,319 --> 00:02:06,719 Well, it's cool. I can take it. You know, back in Michigan, 50 00:02:06,756 --> 00:02:09,416 me and the 'Zoo Crew used to bag on each other all the time. 51 00:02:09,454 --> 00:02:13,324 Again, work with white people. No clue. 52 00:02:13,371 --> 00:02:17,201 Yeah, uh, what's the 'Zoo Crew? 53 00:02:17,245 --> 00:02:19,285 'Zoo Crew! 54 00:02:19,334 --> 00:02:22,164 That's what me and my boys used to call ourselves, you know. 55 00:02:22,206 --> 00:02:24,166 Oh, we did everything together. 56 00:02:24,208 --> 00:02:26,128 We even had our own anthem. 57 00:02:27,690 --> 00:02:30,090 ♪ Four best friends from Kalamazoo ♪ 58 00:02:30,127 --> 00:02:33,437 ♪ Logan, Brad and Dave and Logan Number Two. ♪ 59 00:02:35,263 --> 00:02:38,873 Wait. So-so, your four-man 'Zoo Crew 60 00:02:38,918 --> 00:02:41,578 had not one but two Logans? 61 00:02:41,617 --> 00:02:43,447 Yeah, man, those are my bro-gans. 62 00:02:47,013 --> 00:02:49,313 No, you can't go. 63 00:02:49,364 --> 00:02:51,364 ♪ Welcome to the block, welcome to the neighborhood ♪ 64 00:02:51,409 --> 00:02:52,589 ♪ Welcome to the hood. 65 00:02:58,373 --> 00:02:59,803 Hey, hey, now, what's going on? 66 00:02:59,852 --> 00:03:01,412 What's happening?Que, chair open? 67 00:03:01,463 --> 00:03:03,463 It is now. Get up, Trey. 68 00:03:03,508 --> 00:03:05,558 But I'm next. 69 00:03:05,597 --> 00:03:09,127 Well, look at it this way: you still are. 70 00:03:09,166 --> 00:03:11,256 [laughs] 71 00:03:11,299 --> 00:03:13,389 Hey, Harold, turn that TV on, man. 72 00:03:13,431 --> 00:03:15,251 They're replaying the Rams game from Thursday night. 73 00:03:15,303 --> 00:03:16,523 MALCOLM: Oh, wait. 74 00:03:16,565 --> 00:03:18,525 Come on, Pop. Black people are not supposed 75 00:03:18,567 --> 00:03:20,267 to be supporting football right now. 76 00:03:20,308 --> 00:03:22,178 I'm not supposed to be having milk, either, 77 00:03:22,223 --> 00:03:23,703 but it ain't stop me 78 00:03:23,746 --> 00:03:26,446 from eating two bowls of Cap'n Crunch today. 79 00:03:26,488 --> 00:03:28,488 So you're really not watching football, Malcolm? 80 00:03:28,533 --> 00:03:30,573 Not until Kaepernick is back on the field. 81 00:03:30,622 --> 00:03:33,452 Well, you better start liking soccer, 82 00:03:33,495 --> 00:03:35,885 'cause the only football you're gonna see is, 83 00:03:35,932 --> 00:03:40,192 "Goal! Barcelona!" 84 00:03:40,241 --> 00:03:41,801 [laughter] Really? 85 00:03:43,896 --> 00:03:45,466 Hey, what's up, everybody? 86 00:03:45,507 --> 00:03:47,297 [others greeting]What's up, Jeremiah? 87 00:03:47,335 --> 00:03:50,515 Look, I got socks, belts and Spanx for sale. 88 00:03:50,555 --> 00:03:52,515 Keeping it tight ain't just for the ladies. 89 00:03:52,557 --> 00:03:54,687 Am I right, fellas? 90 00:03:54,733 --> 00:03:58,083 Jeremiah, no self-respecting man in here wants to buy any Spanx. 91 00:03:58,128 --> 00:04:01,308 Speak for yourself. That Cap'n Crunch is sitting on me. 92 00:04:03,133 --> 00:04:05,393 Hey, Calvin! 93 00:04:07,485 --> 00:04:10,095 Oh, man, can you believe this? 94 00:04:10,140 --> 00:04:11,620 No. 95 00:04:11,663 --> 00:04:13,053 Tell me the truth, man. 96 00:04:13,099 --> 00:04:15,449 Do you have a LoJack on me or something? 97 00:04:15,493 --> 00:04:17,753 No, I was just picking up my dry cleaning next door. 98 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:19,460 Hey, everyone, I'm Dave. 99 00:04:19,497 --> 00:04:21,367 Oh. 100 00:04:21,412 --> 00:04:23,322 So this the neighbor we've been hearing about? 101 00:04:23,371 --> 00:04:25,581 Calvin, you told them about me? 102 00:04:27,331 --> 00:04:28,761 Only good things, I hope. 103 00:04:28,811 --> 00:04:30,291 Well, keep hope alive. 104 00:04:30,334 --> 00:04:32,854 [laughter]Well, since I'm here, 105 00:04:32,902 --> 00:04:34,462 why don't I hang out for a while, get a haircut? 106 00:04:34,512 --> 00:04:36,812 Sorry, man. We only use clippers here. 107 00:04:36,862 --> 00:04:38,552 We ain't got no mousse. 108 00:04:38,603 --> 00:04:40,033 [laughter] 109 00:04:40,083 --> 00:04:41,513 Actually, I don't use mousse. 110 00:04:41,563 --> 00:04:43,213 This is natural volume. 111 00:04:43,260 --> 00:04:45,480 Okay. 112 00:04:45,523 --> 00:04:46,823 Hey, who does he remind you of? 113 00:04:46,872 --> 00:04:48,562 Well, you know, a lot of people say Tom Cruise. 114 00:04:48,613 --> 00:04:50,523 Nah, nah, that ain't it. 115 00:04:50,572 --> 00:04:52,262 I got it. Rachel Maddow. 116 00:04:52,313 --> 00:04:55,443 [laughter] 117 00:04:55,490 --> 00:04:57,890 I told you, man, it was gonna get rough around here. 118 00:04:57,927 --> 00:04:59,927 You should have just went to The Container Store. 119 00:04:59,972 --> 00:05:01,662 Somebody say containers? 120 00:05:06,022 --> 00:05:08,542 Wow. So, all these socks for just four dollars? 121 00:05:08,590 --> 00:05:10,030 That's right. 122 00:05:10,069 --> 00:05:11,469 That's cheap. Where'd you get 'em? 123 00:05:11,506 --> 00:05:15,116 OTHERS: Whoa. Whoa. 124 00:05:15,161 --> 00:05:17,161 Oh. Are they... are they stolen? 125 00:05:17,207 --> 00:05:18,427 Dave![others groaning, murmuring] 126 00:05:19,644 --> 00:05:21,254 Uh-uh, I don't like this. 127 00:05:21,298 --> 00:05:22,738 Calvin, your neighbor's a cop. 128 00:05:22,778 --> 00:05:25,258 Relax, Jeremiah. He's not a cop. 129 00:05:25,302 --> 00:05:26,342 How you know? 130 00:05:26,390 --> 00:05:28,740 Dave, are you a cop? No. 131 00:05:28,784 --> 00:05:32,784 See? I don't know what he is, but he's not a cop. 132 00:05:32,831 --> 00:05:35,921 And if he were, by law, he would have to tell you, so... 133 00:05:35,965 --> 00:05:37,615 Oh, actually, that's not true. 134 00:05:37,662 --> 00:05:39,622 What? Oh, of course it is. 135 00:05:39,664 --> 00:05:42,924 Most people think it is because they see it on TV all the time, 136 00:05:42,972 --> 00:05:45,272 but truth is, totally false. 137 00:05:45,322 --> 00:05:47,272 No, it's not. 138 00:05:47,324 --> 00:05:48,624 Well, how do you know? 139 00:05:48,673 --> 00:05:50,713 'Cause I see it on TV all the time! 140 00:05:50,762 --> 00:05:53,632 [chuckles] Actually, uh, Dave is right. 141 00:05:53,678 --> 00:05:55,638 Pop, I just looked it up. 142 00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:56,640 Mm-hmm. 143 00:05:56,681 --> 00:05:58,591 Look at your boy Dave. 144 00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:02,390 He knows what he's talking about morethan Calvin. 145 00:06:02,426 --> 00:06:03,736 [others murmuring] 146 00:06:03,775 --> 00:06:06,085 Look, so what, he knew that. 147 00:06:06,125 --> 00:06:09,435 Uh, even a blind squirrel sometimes finds a nut. 148 00:06:09,477 --> 00:06:10,867 [chuckles] 149 00:06:10,913 --> 00:06:13,653 How would a blind squirrel find a nut? 150 00:06:13,698 --> 00:06:14,958 Probably their sense of smell. 151 00:06:16,353 --> 00:06:18,313 It's highly-developed in squirrels. 152 00:06:18,355 --> 00:06:20,405 Why are y'all even listening to this guy? 153 00:06:20,444 --> 00:06:22,144 He just walked in here. 154 00:06:22,185 --> 00:06:23,965 Yeah, but he seems smart. 155 00:06:24,013 --> 00:06:25,883 Yo, Dave, I got a question. 156 00:06:25,928 --> 00:06:28,588 Is global warming racist? Calvin says it is. 157 00:06:28,626 --> 00:06:30,456 Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, hold on. 158 00:06:30,498 --> 00:06:33,288 I said the concept of global warming is racist. 159 00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:34,896 I mean, think about it. 160 00:06:34,937 --> 00:06:38,067 Africa been hot all this time, and nobody cared. 161 00:06:38,114 --> 00:06:40,724 But soon as it get hot in Boston, 162 00:06:40,769 --> 00:06:43,949 ha, all of a sudden, we got global warming. 163 00:06:45,991 --> 00:06:47,551 You know why? 164 00:06:47,602 --> 00:06:49,212 It's because they're worried about Tom Brady. 165 00:06:49,255 --> 00:06:51,085 [others groaning, murmuring] 166 00:06:51,127 --> 00:06:52,697 I'm telling you, they're worried about him. 167 00:06:52,737 --> 00:06:55,737 Well, you know, I-I did hear on NPR the other day 168 00:06:55,784 --> 00:06:57,694 that seven of the ten countries most affected 169 00:06:57,742 --> 00:07:00,172 by climate change are in sub-Saharan Africa. 170 00:07:00,223 --> 00:07:04,263 And wealthier nations do cause most of the world's pollution. 171 00:07:04,314 --> 00:07:06,664 So it isracist! 172 00:07:06,708 --> 00:07:08,758 I just said that. 173 00:07:08,797 --> 00:07:11,887 Yeah, but when Dave says it, it sounds true, though. 174 00:07:11,930 --> 00:07:13,850 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 175 00:07:13,889 --> 00:07:16,849 Maybe that's because I look like Rachel Maddow. 176 00:07:16,892 --> 00:07:19,192 [laughter] 177 00:07:19,242 --> 00:07:21,462 I can't believe y'all. 178 00:07:21,505 --> 00:07:25,465 He heard it on NPR? So what? I heard it on Steve Harvey. 179 00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:30,780 Yo, Dave, is Steve Harvey a reliable source? 180 00:07:31,907 --> 00:07:33,347 All I know is he's killing it 181 00:07:33,386 --> 00:07:35,516 on the Family Feud! Yeah. 182 00:07:35,563 --> 00:07:37,653 Yeah. Just like Dave is killing it 183 00:07:37,695 --> 00:07:39,215 in the barbershop, right, Dad? 184 00:07:39,262 --> 00:07:41,482 No. Am I right? 185 00:07:41,525 --> 00:07:43,095 [laughs] Survey says! 186 00:07:43,135 --> 00:07:44,615 [imitates buzzer] 187 00:07:44,659 --> 00:07:46,929 [laughs] 188 00:07:48,967 --> 00:07:50,497 Who's the first white guy 189 00:07:50,534 --> 00:07:52,144 to hold his own in Que's barbershop? 190 00:07:52,188 --> 00:07:53,668 Me? 191 00:07:53,711 --> 00:07:55,661 [excited chatter] 192 00:07:55,713 --> 00:07:58,063 Good answer. Good answer. 193 00:07:58,107 --> 00:08:01,287 Hey, Dave, can I ask you for some advice?Yeah, sure. 194 00:08:01,327 --> 00:08:03,417 Well, first off, my girl Keisha's trippin'. 195 00:08:03,460 --> 00:08:05,340 Well, why is she trippin'?Because we be beefin'. 196 00:08:05,375 --> 00:08:07,555 Why do you think you're beefin'?'Cause she be trippin'! 197 00:08:07,595 --> 00:08:09,725 CALVIN: Listen, Trey, 198 00:08:09,771 --> 00:08:11,551 I told you, what you need to do with Keisha... 199 00:08:11,599 --> 00:08:13,819 Shh. I want to hear what he has to say. 200 00:08:13,862 --> 00:08:15,812 Did you just shush me?! 201 00:08:15,864 --> 00:08:18,604 Shh. Calvin, let the man talk. 202 00:08:18,649 --> 00:08:21,399 Well, hold on. Did youjust shush me?! 203 00:08:23,045 --> 00:08:26,565 Well, since she seems to be the one that's trippin', 204 00:08:26,614 --> 00:08:28,614 I'd sit her down and let her know 205 00:08:28,659 --> 00:08:30,709 how it makes you feel when she trips, 206 00:08:30,748 --> 00:08:32,888 and subsequently beefs. 207 00:08:34,230 --> 00:08:37,500 That's it. That is it! 208 00:08:37,538 --> 00:08:39,758 I'm not gonna sit here and let y'all shush me 209 00:08:39,801 --> 00:08:42,411 while y'all sit around and listen to that guy. 210 00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:43,975 But, Daddy, you...Shh! 211 00:08:45,110 --> 00:08:46,860 But, Calvin, what...? Shh! 212 00:08:47,330 --> 00:08:49,080 Shh! Shh! 213 00:08:49,114 --> 00:08:51,284 Shh...! 214 00:08:52,553 --> 00:08:54,553 Shh! 215 00:09:03,041 --> 00:09:05,601 Hey. There you are. 216 00:09:05,653 --> 00:09:08,433 Oh. I just got your text about being at the barbershop. 217 00:09:08,481 --> 00:09:09,781 Have you been there this whole time? 218 00:09:09,831 --> 00:09:11,521 Gemma, you should have seen it. 219 00:09:11,572 --> 00:09:13,482 It was amazing. At one point, 220 00:09:13,530 --> 00:09:16,060 the owner brought out drinks and cigars for everyone. 221 00:09:16,098 --> 00:09:17,628 People started gambling. 222 00:09:17,665 --> 00:09:20,795 It was like being below deck on the Titanic. 223 00:09:20,842 --> 00:09:24,272 That's great, but why does your hair look exactly the same? 224 00:09:24,323 --> 00:09:28,373 I was having so much fun, I forgot to get it cut. 225 00:09:28,414 --> 00:09:30,634 Oh. Well, I'm happy for you. 226 00:09:30,678 --> 00:09:32,638 I know you've been missing your friends. 227 00:09:32,680 --> 00:09:34,340 Ugh. Tell me about it. 228 00:09:34,377 --> 00:09:35,637 All I've had for a social life 229 00:09:35,683 --> 00:09:37,903 since we moved here has been you and Grover. 230 00:09:40,688 --> 00:09:42,648 Which I love. 231 00:09:42,690 --> 00:09:45,520 [laughs] It's okay. I get it. 232 00:09:45,562 --> 00:09:47,302 Men need other men to hang out with 233 00:09:47,346 --> 00:09:50,956 so you can get out all your stupid testosterone. 234 00:09:51,002 --> 00:09:54,092 Just felt good to hang out with guys again. 235 00:09:54,136 --> 00:09:55,746 Can I ask you a question? 236 00:09:55,790 --> 00:09:58,100 Do I look like Rachel Maddow to you? 237 00:10:03,188 --> 00:10:05,668 [laughs]: You do now. 238 00:10:07,758 --> 00:10:09,758 Hey, Tea Cup. Morning, baby. 239 00:10:09,804 --> 00:10:12,154 Don't "morning, baby" me, Calvin. 240 00:10:12,197 --> 00:10:14,067 I had a dream last night 241 00:10:14,112 --> 00:10:16,372 that a wolverine was attacking my shoulder, 242 00:10:16,419 --> 00:10:18,509 and when I woke up, it was your beard. 243 00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:21,111 Really? Mm-hmm. 244 00:10:21,163 --> 00:10:23,123 Man, I was thinking about keeping it, babe. 245 00:10:23,165 --> 00:10:25,685 You know, I... I look like a young Barry White. 246 00:10:27,909 --> 00:10:30,389 [imitating White]: Oh, yeah, baby. 247 00:10:30,433 --> 00:10:33,563 Ah, no, baby. [groans] 248 00:10:33,610 --> 00:10:36,440 You need to go back to that shop today and get a shave. 249 00:10:36,482 --> 00:10:37,962 I don't want people thinking I'm married 250 00:10:38,006 --> 00:10:39,706 to Frederick Douglass. 251 00:10:39,747 --> 00:10:42,097 [laughs] 252 00:10:42,140 --> 00:10:44,100 I'm not going back down in there, Tina. 253 00:10:44,142 --> 00:10:45,362 They shushed me. 254 00:10:45,404 --> 00:10:47,144 Like I was some kind of kid. 255 00:10:47,189 --> 00:10:49,669 Well, you know, Pop, the rea...Shh, Malcolm. I'm talking. 256 00:10:51,628 --> 00:10:53,628 I've been going to that shop for 30 years. 257 00:10:53,674 --> 00:10:55,894 I mean, Dave comes in there for one hour, 258 00:10:55,937 --> 00:10:58,507 now everybody's started listening to him instead of me. 259 00:10:58,548 --> 00:11:00,118 It was disrespectful. 260 00:11:00,158 --> 00:11:01,728 I'll show you something disrespectful. 261 00:11:01,769 --> 00:11:03,249 What's that? 262 00:11:03,292 --> 00:11:05,332 [woman laughing, siren wailing]What is that? 263 00:11:05,381 --> 00:11:08,381 Keisha burning all of Trey's clothes. 264 00:11:08,427 --> 00:11:10,607 She's live-streaming it right now. 265 00:11:10,647 --> 00:11:13,517 Ooh, when she starts trippin', 266 00:11:13,563 --> 00:11:17,083 she sure means it, doesn't she? 267 00:11:17,132 --> 00:11:19,482 Oh, damn, she couldn't wait to exhale. 268 00:11:19,525 --> 00:11:21,435 Mm-mm. 269 00:11:21,484 --> 00:11:24,004 Well, that's what Trey gets for listening to Dave. 270 00:11:24,052 --> 00:11:25,572 Like. 271 00:11:27,272 --> 00:11:29,052 Well, what's he doing listening to Dave? 272 00:11:29,100 --> 00:11:31,060 He doesn't know him like you do. 273 00:11:31,102 --> 00:11:33,492 Right. You are Calvin Butler. 274 00:11:33,539 --> 00:11:35,719 Nobody knows this community better than you do. 275 00:11:35,759 --> 00:11:37,549 That's what I keep saying. 276 00:11:37,587 --> 00:11:40,457 Well, that's why you need to go to that shop 277 00:11:40,503 --> 00:11:42,893 and remind people who you are. 278 00:11:42,940 --> 00:11:44,470 You damn right. 279 00:11:44,507 --> 00:11:46,597 That's exactly what I'm gonna do, too. 280 00:11:46,639 --> 00:11:48,209 And then you go get a shave. 281 00:11:51,296 --> 00:11:53,776 Come on, boys, come and watch your daddy go to work down here. 282 00:11:56,171 --> 00:11:57,911 All right, y'all be good. 283 00:11:57,955 --> 00:12:00,875 Ooh, I sure do miss burning clothes. 284 00:12:02,568 --> 00:12:05,358 Well, if you ask me, the fairest compromise is 285 00:12:05,397 --> 00:12:07,797 you cut the grass one week, and then you have your roommate 286 00:12:07,835 --> 00:12:09,925 cut it the next.That's a good idea, Dave. 287 00:12:09,967 --> 00:12:13,187 I'm gonna go home and tell my mama that's how it's gonna be. 288 00:12:15,451 --> 00:12:16,971 Hey, hey, people.OTHERS: Hey! 289 00:12:17,018 --> 00:12:19,288 Oh! Calvin, you're back. How you doing, man? 290 00:12:19,324 --> 00:12:21,674 I'm doing better than Trey, that's for sure. 291 00:12:21,718 --> 00:12:22,848 What happened to Trey? 292 00:12:22,893 --> 00:12:25,153 Oh. Show him the video, Marty. 293 00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:28,210 Oh, is that Keisha burning all his stuff? 294 00:12:28,246 --> 00:12:30,206 [siren wailing on video] 295 00:12:30,248 --> 00:12:31,248 Yes. 296 00:12:31,293 --> 00:12:32,643 And that's what happens 297 00:12:32,685 --> 00:12:34,995 around here when you don't listen to me. 298 00:12:35,036 --> 00:12:36,866 You get roasted. 299 00:12:36,907 --> 00:12:38,827 That's crazy that Keisha would do that. 300 00:12:38,866 --> 00:12:41,606 No, it's not. 'Cause Keisha's crazy. 301 00:12:41,651 --> 00:12:46,081 But, see, y'all must've forgot who knows you 302 00:12:46,134 --> 00:12:48,484 and always tries to steer you right. 303 00:12:48,527 --> 00:12:49,617 I mean, like you, Jeremiah. 304 00:12:49,659 --> 00:12:51,619 I mean, you up in here 305 00:12:51,661 --> 00:12:56,011 selling belts and socks like some common barbershop hustler. 306 00:12:56,057 --> 00:12:58,237 Who the one told you that the real money 307 00:12:58,276 --> 00:13:00,756 was in men's compression undergarments? 308 00:13:02,237 --> 00:13:03,717 Calvin, that's not fair. 309 00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:05,550 I'm gonna tell you what's not fair. 310 00:13:05,588 --> 00:13:07,158 You making your mama cut the grass 311 00:13:07,198 --> 00:13:09,338 when she got asthma and a push mower. 312 00:13:09,374 --> 00:13:10,764 OTHERS: Oh! Ooh! 313 00:13:10,811 --> 00:13:12,501 Que, you hear that? 314 00:13:12,551 --> 00:13:14,551 Dave, see, you don't hear nothing. 315 00:13:14,597 --> 00:13:16,517 You're just out here giving out advice, 316 00:13:16,555 --> 00:13:18,515 when you don't know the whole story. 317 00:13:18,557 --> 00:13:20,557 See this right here? This is myshop. 318 00:13:20,603 --> 00:13:22,293 Actually, Pop, this is Que's shop. 319 00:13:22,344 --> 00:13:24,784 Boy, do you want to get shushed again? 320 00:13:26,783 --> 00:13:28,823 Okay, you know what, uh, Calvin? 321 00:13:28,872 --> 00:13:31,092 I really don't think that...You know what, Dave? 322 00:13:31,135 --> 00:13:34,355 I think you need to stop giving out advice and start listening. 323 00:13:34,399 --> 00:13:35,799 I mean, that's your problem. 324 00:13:35,836 --> 00:13:37,886 You're in here, you're sitting in my chair, 325 00:13:37,925 --> 00:13:39,625 and you're overstepping. 326 00:13:39,665 --> 00:13:41,445 Come on, Pop. 327 00:13:41,493 --> 00:13:43,193 Now, get up and get out. 328 00:13:44,888 --> 00:13:46,548 Okay. 329 00:13:46,585 --> 00:13:48,455 I hear you. I'll go. 330 00:13:48,500 --> 00:13:50,330 Uh, Que, thanks for the cut. 331 00:13:50,372 --> 00:13:51,932 Jeremiah, I'll see you later. 332 00:13:51,982 --> 00:13:54,982 I'll call Trey and tell him that I'm sorry. 333 00:13:55,029 --> 00:13:58,819 You can't. His phone got thrown in the fire. Ha! 334 00:14:01,644 --> 00:14:02,554 Hi, guys. 335 00:14:02,601 --> 00:14:03,681 Oh, hey, Gemma. 336 00:14:03,733 --> 00:14:06,253 Hey, Calvin, you shaved your beard. 337 00:14:06,301 --> 00:14:09,301 Uh, yeah. Tina likes it better this way. 338 00:14:09,347 --> 00:14:12,877 Oh, I know. She is not shy about her opinions. 339 00:14:12,916 --> 00:14:16,526 She told me I looked like I was going to a hoedown. 340 00:14:16,572 --> 00:14:18,832 So, is Dave still down at the shop? 341 00:14:18,879 --> 00:14:22,759 No. N-No, he left a while ago. 342 00:14:22,795 --> 00:14:24,105 That's weird. He hasn't come home. 343 00:14:24,145 --> 00:14:25,925 Did he say where he was going? 344 00:14:25,973 --> 00:14:29,673 He did not, no. 345 00:14:29,715 --> 00:14:31,765 He must be doing all the things 346 00:14:31,804 --> 00:14:34,544 on his honey-do list he forgot to do yesterday. 347 00:14:34,590 --> 00:14:36,810 Or he's crying in the corner at The Container Store. 348 00:14:39,073 --> 00:14:41,683 Well, I just want to thank you guys. 349 00:14:41,727 --> 00:14:43,557 For what?Since we moved here, 350 00:14:43,599 --> 00:14:46,169 Dave's been having a really hard time missing his friends. 351 00:14:46,210 --> 00:14:47,780 I just really appreciate you 352 00:14:47,820 --> 00:14:50,310 being so willing to welcome him down at the barbershop. 353 00:14:50,345 --> 00:14:53,215 We are so lucky to have you guys as our neighbors. 354 00:14:54,566 --> 00:14:56,086 See ya. 355 00:14:56,133 --> 00:14:59,393 Why the hell they have to move here? 356 00:15:04,402 --> 00:15:06,012 [chuckles]: Ooh-hoo-hoo! 357 00:15:06,056 --> 00:15:10,796 Look at that smooth baby skin, yes! 358 00:15:10,843 --> 00:15:13,843 Let me sit right here 359 00:15:13,890 --> 00:15:16,070 and kiss that baby face! Mwa!Mmm. 360 00:15:16,110 --> 00:15:18,250 Mwa! Mwa! [laughs] 361 00:15:19,678 --> 00:15:20,988 What's the matter, baby? 362 00:15:21,028 --> 00:15:22,858 Eh, I'm just thinking. 363 00:15:22,899 --> 00:15:24,379 You ain't missing that hedgehog 364 00:15:24,422 --> 00:15:26,332 that was on your face, are you? 365 00:15:27,860 --> 00:15:29,820 No, babe, it's nothing like that. 366 00:15:29,862 --> 00:15:33,862 I just... I think I went too hard on Dave today 367 00:15:33,910 --> 00:15:36,000 down at the barbershop. 368 00:15:36,043 --> 00:15:38,873 Oh, you know, you did warn him that... 369 00:15:38,915 --> 00:15:41,395 joking around can be pretty rough down there. 370 00:15:41,439 --> 00:15:44,009 Yeah, I know, but this was different. 371 00:15:44,051 --> 00:15:46,001 You know what, baby, I would not worry about it. 372 00:15:46,053 --> 00:15:48,533 Dave is, like, the happiest guy I ever met. 373 00:15:48,577 --> 00:15:51,057 You know, the other day, I saw him high-five himself. 374 00:15:51,101 --> 00:15:52,401 [chuckles] 375 00:15:52,450 --> 00:15:53,670 Who does that? 376 00:15:53,712 --> 00:15:56,272 Yeah, one day, I saw him miss. 377 00:15:56,324 --> 00:15:58,324 [laughs] 378 00:16:00,763 --> 00:16:02,803 You're right, you're right. 379 00:16:02,852 --> 00:16:06,282 You know what? He's a big boy. I'm sure he'll be fine. 380 00:16:06,334 --> 00:16:08,854 It's cool. He'll be fine, but in the meantime, 381 00:16:08,901 --> 00:16:11,771 let me get that... that sugar. 382 00:16:11,817 --> 00:16:14,427 [guitar strums] 383 00:16:14,472 --> 00:16:17,082 DAVE: ♪ Four best friends from Kalamazoo ♪ 384 00:16:17,127 --> 00:16:19,867 What's that? 385 00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:23,822 It's... Dave singing the 'Zoo Crew anthem. 386 00:16:23,873 --> 00:16:25,043 [guitar strums] 387 00:16:25,092 --> 00:16:27,002 DAVE: ♪ Logan, Brad and Dave 388 00:16:27,050 --> 00:16:29,010 ♪ And Logan Number Two 389 00:16:31,228 --> 00:16:33,098 ♪ Need a good time? 390 00:16:33,143 --> 00:16:34,753 ♪ Whatcha gonna do? 391 00:16:34,797 --> 00:16:36,537 ♪ Gonna kick it hard-core 392 00:16:36,581 --> 00:16:39,711 ♪ With the 'Zoo... 393 00:16:39,758 --> 00:16:42,068 ♪ Crew. 394 00:16:42,109 --> 00:16:43,849 Hey, Dave. 395 00:16:43,893 --> 00:16:45,933 Hey, Calvin. 396 00:16:45,982 --> 00:16:48,332 [sighs] So, you're missing your friends back home, huh? 397 00:16:48,376 --> 00:16:50,206 Yeah. What gave it away? Was it the song? 398 00:16:50,247 --> 00:16:52,037 [sighs] 399 00:16:52,075 --> 00:16:53,985 Look, man, I know I came down on you 400 00:16:54,034 --> 00:16:55,944 kind of hard at the barbershop today, man. 401 00:16:55,992 --> 00:16:58,342 I'm surprised at how much it's affected me. 402 00:16:58,386 --> 00:17:00,346 You know, I'm usually pretty tough. 403 00:17:00,388 --> 00:17:03,178 Look, but I told you what it was like down there, man. 404 00:17:03,217 --> 00:17:05,877 We-we laugh, we snap on each other, 405 00:17:05,915 --> 00:17:09,525 we buy wholesale items of questionable origin. 406 00:17:09,571 --> 00:17:11,651 Yeah, but... 407 00:17:11,703 --> 00:17:14,573 it feels like what you did to me was different. 408 00:17:14,619 --> 00:17:16,579 Look, I tried to tell you, man, 409 00:17:16,621 --> 00:17:18,791 you don't belong in the barbershop. 410 00:17:18,841 --> 00:17:20,321 Man, you just... 411 00:17:20,364 --> 00:17:21,974 you're a little too sensitive for it. 412 00:17:22,018 --> 00:17:23,678 No, that's not true. 413 00:17:23,715 --> 00:17:26,325 I have no problem with jokes about my awesome hair 414 00:17:26,370 --> 00:17:29,330 or how I look like numerous celebrities, 415 00:17:29,373 --> 00:17:31,283 both male and female. 416 00:17:33,769 --> 00:17:35,989 But what you did wasn't cool. 417 00:17:36,032 --> 00:17:37,902 But think about my position. 418 00:17:37,947 --> 00:17:40,777 I mean, I've been going to that barbershop for 30 years. 419 00:17:40,819 --> 00:17:43,779 I know all those people in there-- I know their history 420 00:17:43,822 --> 00:17:45,862 and their circumstance-- and then you come in 421 00:17:45,911 --> 00:17:50,001 with your NPR and obscure animal facts... 422 00:17:50,046 --> 00:17:53,836 and everybody starts listening to you instead of me. 423 00:17:53,876 --> 00:17:56,186 I mean, how you think that makes me feel? 424 00:17:56,226 --> 00:17:58,746 Like they forgot about you?Exactly. 425 00:17:58,794 --> 00:18:00,794 Yeah, I know how that feels. 426 00:18:00,839 --> 00:18:02,409 Check that out. 427 00:18:02,450 --> 00:18:06,020 Why-why are you showing me a picture of a dude's butt? 428 00:18:06,062 --> 00:18:08,672 Look at the tattoo. 429 00:18:08,717 --> 00:18:12,027 Everyone in the 'Zoo Crew got these last week without me. 430 00:18:12,068 --> 00:18:15,288 I've only been gone two months, and it already feels like 431 00:18:15,332 --> 00:18:17,892 it doesn't matter that I'm not there. 432 00:18:17,943 --> 00:18:21,423 So you feel leftbehind... 433 00:18:21,469 --> 00:18:24,869 by a bunch of dudes that got tattoos ontheir behind? 434 00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:30,861 It's just been really tough making friends 435 00:18:30,913 --> 00:18:32,303 since I moved here, Calvin. 436 00:18:32,349 --> 00:18:33,959 [sighs] 437 00:18:36,048 --> 00:18:40,448 You know, back at home, I mean, I used to be the coolest. 438 00:18:42,098 --> 00:18:44,758 I mean, you know, you're... 439 00:18:44,796 --> 00:18:47,666 you're cool, you know? 440 00:18:47,712 --> 00:18:49,932 I mean, Dave, come on, man. 441 00:18:49,975 --> 00:18:53,895 You walked into Que's barbershop and you held your own. 442 00:18:53,936 --> 00:18:56,026 It was pretty cool that I did that. 443 00:18:57,461 --> 00:18:59,201 Won $200 playing dice. 444 00:18:59,246 --> 00:19:01,766 [chuckles] You might want to check those twenties 445 00:19:01,813 --> 00:19:04,293 and make sure Obama's face is not on them. 446 00:19:04,338 --> 00:19:07,388 [laughs] 447 00:19:07,428 --> 00:19:10,518 Hey, look, I'm sorry I messed things up for you down at Que's. 448 00:19:10,561 --> 00:19:12,301 I promise I won't come back. 449 00:19:12,346 --> 00:19:14,996 Oh, man, no, it's cool. I mean, you're welcome in there 450 00:19:15,044 --> 00:19:17,874 anytime you want to... get your ears lowered. 451 00:19:18,917 --> 00:19:20,967 Well, good, 452 00:19:21,006 --> 00:19:23,536 'cause I don't anybody else who's gonna take my Obama bucks. 453 00:19:23,574 --> 00:19:25,614 [laughs] 454 00:19:25,663 --> 00:19:28,013 All right, man, I'll see you down there next Saturday? 455 00:19:28,057 --> 00:19:30,887 Next Saturday? That's in a week. 456 00:19:30,929 --> 00:19:32,759 Yo, how often you get your hair cut? 457 00:19:32,801 --> 00:19:34,411 I don't know, like, every two months. 458 00:19:34,455 --> 00:19:36,365 Two months? 459 00:19:36,413 --> 00:19:38,243 How often do you get your hair cut? 460 00:19:38,285 --> 00:19:40,065 Once a week. 461 00:19:40,112 --> 00:19:41,802 Seriously? 462 00:19:41,853 --> 00:19:44,073 Wouldn't have guessed you were so high-maintenance. 463 00:19:44,116 --> 00:19:48,256 I know. I only make looking this good seemeffortless. 464 00:19:51,298 --> 00:19:54,908 ♪ Two best friends... I'm not your best friend, Dave. 465 00:20:02,700 --> 00:20:05,400 Hey, everybody.[others greeting] 466 00:20:05,442 --> 00:20:07,002 Hey, we were just in the neighborhood. 467 00:20:07,052 --> 00:20:08,792 I wanted to introduce you all to my wife. 468 00:20:08,837 --> 00:20:09,887 Everyone, this is Gemma. 469 00:20:09,925 --> 00:20:11,235 Gemma, these are all my new friends. 470 00:20:11,274 --> 00:20:13,054 Hi. Hey. Nice to meet you.OTHERS: Hey, Gemma. Hey. 471 00:20:13,102 --> 00:20:14,012 Damn, Dave, 472 00:20:14,059 --> 00:20:15,759 if my wife was that fine, 473 00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:17,420 I wouldn't need no friends. 474 00:20:17,454 --> 00:20:19,024 [laughter] 475 00:20:19,064 --> 00:20:21,584 Really, Que? 'Cause... you live with your mama. 476 00:20:21,632 --> 00:20:24,332 Seems like you need all the friends you can get. 477 00:20:24,374 --> 00:20:26,594 OTHERS: Oh![laughter] 478 00:20:28,335 --> 00:20:30,035 Ooh, hey, uh, this is Jeremiah. 479 00:20:30,075 --> 00:20:32,165 Oh, you're the one who sold him the Spanx. 480 00:20:32,208 --> 00:20:33,948 I'm wearing them right now. 481 00:20:33,992 --> 00:20:35,812 So is Que. 482 00:20:35,864 --> 00:20:38,774 [laughter] 483 00:20:38,823 --> 00:20:40,173 Well, look, if you like those Spanx, 484 00:20:40,216 --> 00:20:41,696 you're gonna love these cashmere scarves. 485 00:20:41,739 --> 00:20:43,789 Just ten dollars each.Really? 486 00:20:43,828 --> 00:20:46,138 Mm-hmm. That's so cheap. Where did you get them? 487 00:20:46,178 --> 00:20:47,488 OTHERS: Whoa! Whoa! 488 00:20:48,833 --> 00:20:50,223 What? 489 00:20:50,270 --> 00:20:52,410 Oh, are they stolen? 490 00:20:52,446 --> 00:20:54,446 OTHERS: Oh! 491 00:20:58,843 --> 00:21:02,803 Captioning sponsored by CBS 492 00:21:02,847 --> 00:21:06,937 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org