1
00:00:02,458 --> 00:00:03,898
[loud whirring]
2
00:00:03,937 --> 00:00:05,247
Hey, Calvin.
3
00:00:05,287 --> 00:00:06,987
I can't hear you.
4
00:00:07,028 --> 00:00:08,558
Hey, can I talk to
you for a second?
5
00:00:08,594 --> 00:00:11,504
I still can't hear you, but no.
6
00:00:12,729 --> 00:00:13,999
Please?
7
00:00:14,035 --> 00:00:15,735
[shuts blower off]
8
00:00:15,775 --> 00:00:17,775
Yeah, man. What's up?
9
00:00:17,821 --> 00:00:19,861
So, our anniversary
is coming up.
10
00:00:19,910 --> 00:00:21,220
Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave,
11
00:00:21,259 --> 00:00:22,959
we've only known each other
for two months.
12
00:00:24,871 --> 00:00:26,871
Well, I was talking
about me and Gemma.
13
00:00:26,917 --> 00:00:29,707
Besides, our man-iversary
isn't until the fifth.
14
00:00:29,746 --> 00:00:32,666
So, how are you two
celebrating?
15
00:00:32,705 --> 00:00:34,925
You know, Gemma's under a lot
of pressure with the new job
16
00:00:34,968 --> 00:00:36,968
and still getting
used to living here,
17
00:00:37,014 --> 00:00:39,924
so I want to do something
really special for her.
18
00:00:39,973 --> 00:00:43,973
Like the time you tried to take
me to a Renaissance fair?
19
00:00:44,021 --> 00:00:46,061
You would've
had fun, milord.
20
00:00:47,155 --> 00:00:49,065
Anyway, look,
21
00:00:49,113 --> 00:00:51,543
I'm having a box of her favorite
cupcakes flown in from Michigan.
22
00:00:51,594 --> 00:00:53,334
I got a fancy bottle
of champagne.
23
00:00:53,378 --> 00:00:57,688
I even may have choreographed
a little dance number for her.
24
00:00:57,730 --> 00:00:59,130
You know, like Magic Mike.
25
00:00:59,167 --> 00:01:03,437
I'm guessing
more like Tragic Dave.
26
00:01:03,475 --> 00:01:06,955
I-I just really want to help
her put everything aside
27
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,440
for one night,
28
00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:10,920
just try to get
Gemma to relax.
29
00:01:10,961 --> 00:01:12,871
Oh. Yeah, I get it.
30
00:01:12,919 --> 00:01:14,489
You're not getting sex.
31
00:01:15,922 --> 00:01:17,402
Well, y--
32
00:01:17,446 --> 00:01:19,096
you know how things
can slow down
33
00:01:19,143 --> 00:01:21,923
when you get busy
and with the kids.
34
00:01:21,972 --> 00:01:23,972
No, Dave, I don't.
35
00:01:24,017 --> 00:01:27,897
You're gonna tell me you and
Tina never had a dry spell?
36
00:01:27,934 --> 00:01:30,244
[chuckling]:
Dave. Dave.
37
00:01:32,156 --> 00:01:34,076
In-in the Butler household,
38
00:01:34,115 --> 00:01:37,985
it's like monsoon season
all-year-round, bud.
39
00:01:38,031 --> 00:01:40,121
So, what's your secret?
40
00:01:40,164 --> 00:01:41,814
Well, damn, Dave.
41
00:01:41,861 --> 00:01:42,991
Check it out.
42
00:01:43,036 --> 00:01:44,296
You know?
43
00:01:48,129 --> 00:01:52,659
I maintain my sexy, you know?
44
00:01:52,698 --> 00:01:56,448
Well, you know, I
keep it sexy, too.
45
00:01:56,485 --> 00:02:00,795
A lot of people say I look
just like Tom Cruise.
46
00:02:03,013 --> 00:02:04,363
Yeah.
47
00:02:05,668 --> 00:02:08,978
Yeah, a'ight. Yeah.
48
00:02:09,019 --> 00:02:11,199
Anyway, look, I-I planned
the perfect night.
49
00:02:11,239 --> 00:02:12,939
There's just one problem.
50
00:02:12,979 --> 00:02:14,989
We need to find someone
to watch Grover.
51
00:02:15,025 --> 00:02:17,155
Well, why don't
you get a babysitter?
52
00:02:17,201 --> 00:02:20,161
Well, we would, but since we
moved, we haven't found anyone.
53
00:02:20,204 --> 00:02:22,334
You know, back in Michigan,
we knew all our neighbors
54
00:02:22,380 --> 00:02:24,950
and felt comfortable leaving
him with them. But...
55
00:02:24,991 --> 00:02:27,161
the only neighbors
we know here
56
00:02:27,211 --> 00:02:28,991
are you guys.
57
00:02:29,039 --> 00:02:30,959
Oh. Okay, say no more.
58
00:02:30,997 --> 00:02:32,997
I got the answer
to your problem.
59
00:02:33,043 --> 00:02:36,393
Oh, Calvin, thank
you so, so much.
60
00:02:36,438 --> 00:02:38,618
Move back to Michigan.
61
00:02:38,657 --> 00:02:40,747
[whirring]Let's go, baby.
62
00:02:40,790 --> 00:02:42,750
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
63
00:02:42,792 --> 00:02:44,092
♪ Welcome to the hood.
64
00:02:50,974 --> 00:02:52,584
[knocking]
65
00:02:52,628 --> 00:02:53,938
[exhales]
66
00:02:57,807 --> 00:02:59,547
Oh. Hey, Tina.Hey, Gemma. You busy?
67
00:02:59,591 --> 00:03:00,981
Ugh, actually, I'm swamped.
68
00:03:01,027 --> 00:03:02,727
I brought wine.I could use a break.
69
00:03:04,466 --> 00:03:08,036
Wow. Look at all this paperwork.
70
00:03:08,078 --> 00:03:10,518
No wonder you're looking like
the Apocalypse Barbie.
71
00:03:12,517 --> 00:03:13,867
I just have so much to do.
72
00:03:13,910 --> 00:03:15,130
I have to finish
73
00:03:15,172 --> 00:03:16,122
teacher evaluations,
74
00:03:16,173 --> 00:03:17,693
go through
grant proposals,
75
00:03:17,740 --> 00:03:19,660
and get ready for a visit
from the superintendent.
76
00:03:19,698 --> 00:03:22,268
Damn, that's stressful. I always
thought principal was like
77
00:03:22,310 --> 00:03:23,530
a figurehead position, you know?
78
00:03:23,572 --> 00:03:24,522
Like the queen.
79
00:03:24,573 --> 00:03:26,443
[chuckles]
80
00:03:26,488 --> 00:03:29,758
I don't think the queen wears
the same bra five days in a row.
81
00:03:31,406 --> 00:03:35,756
No wonder you and Dave are going
through a slump in your bedroom.
82
00:03:35,801 --> 00:03:38,191
Wha--
83
00:03:38,239 --> 00:03:39,719
Where did you hear that?
84
00:03:39,762 --> 00:03:40,932
Dave told Calvin.
85
00:03:40,980 --> 00:03:42,770
Why would he tell him?
86
00:03:42,808 --> 00:03:45,818
You've been wearing the same
damn bra for five days, Gemma!
87
00:03:48,161 --> 00:03:50,511
And, besides, I mean,
he asked us to babysit Grover
88
00:03:50,555 --> 00:03:52,815
so he can take you out
for your anniversary.
89
00:03:53,863 --> 00:03:54,993
Oh, my God.
90
00:03:55,038 --> 00:03:56,908
Our anniversary.
91
00:03:56,953 --> 00:03:59,783
I can't believe I forgot.
92
00:03:59,825 --> 00:04:01,915
You forgot your anniversary?
93
00:04:03,220 --> 00:04:04,660
What are you, a man?
94
00:04:07,006 --> 00:04:09,186
It's just, things have been
so crazy at work,
95
00:04:09,226 --> 00:04:11,446
and Grover's still adjusting
to the move.
96
00:04:11,489 --> 00:04:13,839
He's even started sleeping
in our bed.
97
00:04:13,883 --> 00:04:15,313
Ooh, is Dave okay with that?
98
00:04:17,539 --> 00:04:20,589
Let me ask you this. You-you're
still attracted to Dave, right?
99
00:04:20,629 --> 00:04:23,589
Are you kidding?
100
00:04:23,632 --> 00:04:25,192
You've seen him.
101
00:04:25,242 --> 00:04:29,682
He looks exactly like
Tom Cruise.
102
00:04:29,725 --> 00:04:33,385
Yeah. All right.
103
00:04:33,424 --> 00:04:36,294
Besides, come on,
everyone goes through lulls.
104
00:04:40,475 --> 00:04:42,825
[scoffs]Look,
105
00:04:42,868 --> 00:04:46,008
let us take Grover so you guys
can go out and celebrate.
106
00:04:46,045 --> 00:04:48,305
That is so nice of you.
Thank you.
107
00:04:48,352 --> 00:04:50,092
You are welcome.
[chuckles]
108
00:04:50,136 --> 00:04:53,796
So, you and Calvin
really never have any lulls?
109
00:04:53,836 --> 00:04:54,836
No.
110
00:04:58,362 --> 00:05:00,842
I mean, you've seen him.
111
00:05:03,628 --> 00:05:06,768
That man maintains his sexy.
112
00:05:06,805 --> 00:05:08,155
Mm.
113
00:05:08,198 --> 00:05:10,158
All right.
114
00:05:12,855 --> 00:05:14,815
[doorbell rings]Ooh, that must be Grover.
115
00:05:14,857 --> 00:05:15,777
Malcolm, get the door.
116
00:05:17,163 --> 00:05:20,123
I still don't know how you
convinced me to do this.
117
00:05:20,166 --> 00:05:21,386
Oh, you know.
118
00:05:22,821 --> 00:05:24,901
[chuckling]
119
00:05:24,954 --> 00:05:26,784
Hey, guys. Come on in.
120
00:05:26,825 --> 00:05:30,825
Hey. Thank you so much for
taking Grover overnight. Oh.
121
00:05:30,873 --> 00:05:33,783
You don't know how
important this is to us.
122
00:05:33,832 --> 00:05:35,922
Okay. Okay, Dave,
123
00:05:35,965 --> 00:05:37,575
save some for your wife, okay?
124
00:05:41,100 --> 00:05:43,670
Now, sweetie, everything's
gonna be just fine.
125
00:05:43,712 --> 00:05:45,752
If you need anything,
you ask Miss Tina.
126
00:05:45,801 --> 00:05:47,411
And if you get scared,
don't worry,
127
00:05:47,455 --> 00:05:49,845
because Mommy is gonna
be right next door.
128
00:05:49,892 --> 00:05:51,802
'Kay. Bye.
129
00:05:53,112 --> 00:05:54,372
Okay, I think he's good.
130
00:05:54,418 --> 00:05:56,028
Let's make like Tom and cruise.
131
00:05:56,072 --> 00:05:58,162
Oh, oh. Um,
132
00:05:58,204 --> 00:06:00,724
wait, before we go, everything
he needs is in this bag:
133
00:06:00,772 --> 00:06:02,462
his blanket,
his nightlight,
134
00:06:02,513 --> 00:06:03,773
and his rosemary
eucalyptus candle
135
00:06:03,819 --> 00:06:04,999
that'll help him fall asleep.
136
00:06:06,125 --> 00:06:08,085
Time is a-wastin'.
137
00:06:08,127 --> 00:06:10,397
I think The Firmis
about to premiere,
138
00:06:10,434 --> 00:06:12,084
if you know what I mean.
139
00:06:12,131 --> 00:06:13,781
I do.
140
00:06:19,225 --> 00:06:21,745
[sniffs]
This is a nice candle.
141
00:06:21,793 --> 00:06:23,573
We're gonna keep this
for ourselves.
142
00:06:27,103 --> 00:06:28,883
DAVE:
Are you ready?
143
00:06:28,931 --> 00:06:30,491
Ready.
144
00:06:30,541 --> 00:06:32,411
["Old Time Rock and Roll"
by Bob Seger playing]
145
00:06:32,456 --> 00:06:33,676
[gasps]
146
00:06:33,718 --> 00:06:34,678
Ow!
147
00:06:34,719 --> 00:06:36,509
Oh, my God!
148
00:06:41,422 --> 00:06:43,812
I think I may have over-waxed
the floor.
149
00:06:45,251 --> 00:06:47,121
Well,
150
00:06:47,166 --> 00:06:48,556
for what it's worth,
151
00:06:48,603 --> 00:06:51,823
I think you're hotter
than Tom Cruise.
152
00:06:51,867 --> 00:06:53,047
Thanks, babe.
153
00:06:53,085 --> 00:06:54,605
I think you're hotter
than Tom Cruise, too.
154
00:06:54,652 --> 00:06:57,522
[laughs]
155
00:06:57,568 --> 00:06:59,838
I love you.I love you.
156
00:06:59,875 --> 00:07:01,005
[phone chimes]Oh, let me check that.
157
00:07:01,050 --> 00:07:02,010
It might be Grover.
158
00:07:02,051 --> 00:07:04,091
Hmm. Or maybe it's not.
159
00:07:04,140 --> 00:07:06,230
Uh, actually,
it's about work. Hold on.
160
00:07:06,272 --> 00:07:07,882
Let me just respond
real quick.
161
00:07:07,926 --> 00:07:11,496
Okay, yeah. Sure.
162
00:07:11,539 --> 00:07:13,939
Oh, that is so great.
163
00:07:13,976 --> 00:07:16,496
Anything I can do
to help you relax.
164
00:07:16,544 --> 00:07:21,024
Oh, no, I was talking
about this grant approval.
165
00:07:21,070 --> 00:07:23,640
Okay, you know,
s-since it's our anniversary,
166
00:07:23,681 --> 00:07:27,291
maybe we put the phone down
and we-we focus on each other.
167
00:07:27,337 --> 00:07:29,257
You're right. You're
right. I'm sorry.
168
00:07:29,295 --> 00:07:31,255
Here you go.
169
00:07:31,297 --> 00:07:32,867
To our anniversary.
170
00:07:32,908 --> 00:07:34,438
And our new home.
171
00:07:34,475 --> 00:07:37,045
And our first night alone
in it without Grover.
172
00:07:37,086 --> 00:07:39,696
Aw, Grover.No, no.
173
00:07:39,741 --> 00:07:41,001
No, tonight is just about us.
174
00:07:41,046 --> 00:07:42,966
I-I didn't mean
to mention Grover.
175
00:07:43,005 --> 00:07:45,355
Pretend you didn't hear that.
Pretend he doesn't exist.
176
00:07:45,398 --> 00:07:46,838
Dave!No!
177
00:07:46,878 --> 00:07:49,358
Look, of course he exists.
178
00:07:49,402 --> 00:07:50,962
We love him. He's here with us.
179
00:07:51,013 --> 00:07:53,313
But, at the same time,
he's not, like a ghost.
180
00:07:53,363 --> 00:07:55,053
That's it. I'm gonna
go check on him.
181
00:07:55,104 --> 00:07:56,324
Okay, no.
Gemma, look.
182
00:07:56,366 --> 00:07:58,456
Look, I'm-I'm--
183
00:07:58,499 --> 00:07:59,939
I'm sorry.
184
00:07:59,978 --> 00:08:02,458
Can't we just have
this night together?
185
00:08:02,503 --> 00:08:04,983
It's our anniversary.
186
00:08:05,027 --> 00:08:06,817
I miss you.
187
00:08:06,855 --> 00:08:09,685
Aw. I miss you, too.
188
00:08:11,207 --> 00:08:13,387
Okay, great.
189
00:08:13,426 --> 00:08:15,556
'Cause I have
another surprise for you.
190
00:08:15,603 --> 00:08:19,563
Is it trying to juggle bottles
like in Cocktail?
191
00:08:19,607 --> 00:08:21,957
Because, last time, I wound up
in the emergency room.
192
00:08:23,611 --> 00:08:25,561
[gasps]
193
00:08:25,613 --> 00:08:28,573
Oh, my God! Are those
what I think they are?!
194
00:08:28,616 --> 00:08:31,576
Your favorite Michigan
cherry cupcakes,
195
00:08:31,619 --> 00:08:33,019
shipped fresh today,
196
00:08:33,055 --> 00:08:35,145
all the way from Kalamazoo.
197
00:08:35,187 --> 00:08:37,797
[squeals]
I love these!
198
00:08:37,842 --> 00:08:39,882
Grover and I used to
eat them all the time.
199
00:08:41,324 --> 00:08:43,064
Now, Grover,
when the boys were young,
200
00:08:43,108 --> 00:08:45,988
we used to go around the table
and say what we're thankful for.
201
00:08:46,024 --> 00:08:47,414
So, I'll go first.
202
00:08:47,460 --> 00:08:50,820
I am thankful that you are
our guest this evening.
203
00:08:51,900 --> 00:08:53,650
Uh, I am thankful for Star Wars.
204
00:08:53,684 --> 00:08:54,854
Not the prequels.
205
00:08:54,903 --> 00:08:56,073
Those hurt my heart.
206
00:08:57,558 --> 00:09:00,168
Well, now that they
have a black hero,
207
00:09:00,212 --> 00:09:02,512
I'm thankful for Star Wars,too.
208
00:09:02,563 --> 00:09:05,173
"Now"?
What do you mean "now"?
209
00:09:05,217 --> 00:09:06,957
Empire Strikes Back,
Lando Calrissian?
210
00:09:07,002 --> 00:09:08,782
You ain't got no love
for Billy Dee?
211
00:09:09,744 --> 00:09:10,704
All right, all right.
212
00:09:10,745 --> 00:09:12,135
Listen up, you two.
213
00:09:12,181 --> 00:09:13,521
I'm-a tell you
what I'm thankful for.
214
00:09:13,574 --> 00:09:15,184
My vasectomy.
That's what I'm thankful for.
215
00:09:17,403 --> 00:09:20,533
And family.
And family.
216
00:09:20,581 --> 00:09:23,141
Um, Grover, what are you
thankful for, baby?
217
00:09:23,192 --> 00:09:24,142
Chicken fingers.
218
00:09:24,193 --> 00:09:25,843
Can I have some?
219
00:09:27,370 --> 00:09:29,810
Well, actually,
I made catfish tonight.
220
00:09:29,851 --> 00:09:31,321
CALVIN:
Yes.
221
00:09:31,374 --> 00:09:33,814
And the rule in our house
is that everyone eats
222
00:09:33,855 --> 00:09:35,595
what Miss Tina cooks.
223
00:09:35,639 --> 00:09:39,129
Well, can you ask Miss Tina
to cook some chicken fingers?
224
00:09:43,647 --> 00:09:45,777
Well, we don't have that.
225
00:09:45,823 --> 00:09:48,343
But I could probably whip you up
something real quick.
226
00:09:48,391 --> 00:09:49,561
What do you like?
227
00:09:49,610 --> 00:09:51,090
Maybe some spaghetti?
228
00:09:51,133 --> 00:09:52,303
Got that.
229
00:09:52,351 --> 00:09:53,961
With chicken fingers.
230
00:09:54,005 --> 00:09:56,355
CALVIN:
Look, Grover,
231
00:09:56,399 --> 00:09:58,539
you're gonna eat your catfish
with the rest of us,
232
00:09:58,575 --> 00:10:00,145
and I bet you're gonna like it.
233
00:10:00,185 --> 00:10:01,575
I'll take that bet.
234
00:10:05,669 --> 00:10:07,329
Now, listen, little man,
235
00:10:07,366 --> 00:10:09,806
there are starving children
all around the world
236
00:10:09,847 --> 00:10:12,377
who would love a piece
of that delicious catfish.
237
00:10:12,415 --> 00:10:14,855
You're right. We should
give it to one of them.
238
00:10:17,855 --> 00:10:20,815
Coming to a hotel
was such a good idea.
239
00:10:20,858 --> 00:10:22,858
But are you sure
we can afford it?
240
00:10:22,904 --> 00:10:25,164
Even if it costs
all the money in the world,
241
00:10:25,210 --> 00:10:27,170
for you, it's worth it.
242
00:10:27,212 --> 00:10:28,292
Aw.
243
00:10:28,344 --> 00:10:30,084
Besides, I used miles,
reward points,
244
00:10:30,128 --> 00:10:31,258
and I got a senior discount.
245
00:10:31,303 --> 00:10:32,303
[elevator dings]
246
00:10:35,481 --> 00:10:37,781
As soon as we get upstairs,
I am gonna put on
247
00:10:37,832 --> 00:10:40,182
one of those fuzzy robes,
run a bath,
248
00:10:40,225 --> 00:10:43,185
and eat $20 chocolates
from the minibar.
249
00:10:43,228 --> 00:10:45,058
And then we're
gonna have sex?
250
00:10:45,100 --> 00:10:47,020
And then we're
gonna have sex.
251
00:10:47,058 --> 00:10:48,588
Yes!
252
00:10:48,625 --> 00:10:50,105
[clunk, power whirring down]
253
00:10:50,148 --> 00:10:52,288
No!
254
00:10:58,504 --> 00:10:59,764
WOMAN [over P.A.]:
Due to renovations,
255
00:10:59,810 --> 00:11:01,120
we are experiencing
a power outage.
256
00:11:01,159 --> 00:11:02,429
Please stand by.
257
00:11:02,465 --> 00:11:03,855
And thank you for your patience.
258
00:11:03,901 --> 00:11:05,331
Renovations?
259
00:11:05,381 --> 00:11:06,941
Yeah.
260
00:11:06,991 --> 00:11:08,861
That's another reason
we got a discount.
261
00:11:08,906 --> 00:11:11,736
I knew we should
have stayed home.
262
00:11:11,779 --> 00:11:14,179
Okay, babe, look, relax.
263
00:11:14,216 --> 00:11:15,396
How can I relax?
264
00:11:16,435 --> 00:11:17,955
Oh, my God.
265
00:11:18,002 --> 00:11:19,522
I don't have service.
266
00:11:19,569 --> 00:11:21,139
Grover could be calling me.
267
00:11:21,179 --> 00:11:23,189
People could be texting
about work,
268
00:11:23,225 --> 00:11:25,315
and here I am trapped
in a metal cage,
269
00:11:25,357 --> 00:11:27,707
ten stories up, waiting
to plunge to my death.
270
00:11:27,751 --> 00:11:30,491
First of all, we
haven't left the lobby.
271
00:11:30,536 --> 00:11:34,936
Second, I'm sure everything
is perfectly fine,
272
00:11:34,976 --> 00:11:36,716
especially Grover.
273
00:11:37,761 --> 00:11:39,191
Boy, you gonna sit here
all night.
274
00:11:39,241 --> 00:11:41,981
I don't care if you starve.
275
00:11:42,026 --> 00:11:46,116
Who's ready for some cobbler?
276
00:11:46,161 --> 00:11:47,501
Oh, you know I am.
277
00:11:47,553 --> 00:11:50,463
Why do you think I wore
my "eatin'" pants today?
278
00:11:50,513 --> 00:11:51,773
I'll get the ice cream.
279
00:11:51,819 --> 00:11:52,779
Hold up.
280
00:11:52,820 --> 00:11:54,560
Cobbler a la mode?
281
00:11:54,604 --> 00:11:58,214
Okay. I'm just gonna lose
this drawstring altogether.
282
00:12:00,088 --> 00:12:01,958
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
283
00:12:02,003 --> 00:12:04,483
What do you think you're doing,
little man?
284
00:12:04,527 --> 00:12:06,927
Having dessert, big man.
285
00:12:08,574 --> 00:12:10,924
No. No.
286
00:12:10,968 --> 00:12:12,628
[chuckles]
287
00:12:12,665 --> 00:12:14,925
Under this roof,
you don't get dessert
288
00:12:14,972 --> 00:12:16,322
until you finish your dinner.
289
00:12:16,365 --> 00:12:17,325
Why?
290
00:12:17,366 --> 00:12:20,456
Because I said so.
291
00:12:21,849 --> 00:12:23,379
Welcome to Shawshank.
292
00:12:25,853 --> 00:12:27,463
But why is that the rule?
293
00:12:27,506 --> 00:12:32,466
Oh, you need a deeper
explanation of the rules.
294
00:12:32,511 --> 00:12:34,161
All righty, not a problem.
295
00:12:34,209 --> 00:12:37,519
Um, the reason is...
296
00:12:37,560 --> 00:12:39,170
because I said so.
297
00:12:41,433 --> 00:12:42,473
That's it.
298
00:12:42,521 --> 00:12:44,871
But that's not an answer.
299
00:12:44,915 --> 00:12:46,485
Excuse me?
300
00:12:46,525 --> 00:12:48,965
At my house,
when I ask questions,
301
00:12:49,006 --> 00:12:51,136
my parents give me real answers.
302
00:12:52,357 --> 00:12:54,097
Long answers.
303
00:12:55,186 --> 00:12:58,366
Really long answers.
304
00:12:59,843 --> 00:13:04,543
Well, at my house,
"because I said so"
305
00:13:04,587 --> 00:13:08,287
is the longest answer
you're gonna get.
306
00:13:08,330 --> 00:13:10,470
Got it. One more question.
307
00:13:10,506 --> 00:13:11,726
Why?
308
00:13:13,422 --> 00:13:15,462
You see, Grover,
309
00:13:15,511 --> 00:13:17,071
ever since we were your age,
310
00:13:17,121 --> 00:13:18,861
it's been my dad's way
or the highway.
311
00:13:18,906 --> 00:13:20,956
This one time,
I asked him if I could move
312
00:13:20,995 --> 00:13:22,955
my 9:00 bedtime to 10:00.
313
00:13:22,997 --> 00:13:24,387
And tell Grover
what happened.
314
00:13:24,433 --> 00:13:25,433
It got pushed up to 8:00.
315
00:13:26,914 --> 00:13:29,174
You know, Pop,
instead of being a dictator,
316
00:13:29,220 --> 00:13:30,970
maybe you should
try seeing things
317
00:13:31,005 --> 00:13:32,485
from other people's
perspectives.
318
00:13:32,528 --> 00:13:33,838
Ooh, look. It's almost 8:00.
319
00:13:33,877 --> 00:13:35,837
Malcolm, you might want
to get ready for bed.
320
00:13:37,533 --> 00:13:39,493
Do you see what I mean?
321
00:13:39,535 --> 00:13:41,795
You know, maybe what this
house needs is a little
322
00:13:41,842 --> 00:13:43,232
civil disobedience.
323
00:13:43,278 --> 00:13:44,328
Grover,
324
00:13:44,366 --> 00:13:45,976
you do not have
to eat that,
325
00:13:46,020 --> 00:13:47,460
and neither do I.
326
00:13:47,499 --> 00:13:48,899
In fact, none of us do.
327
00:13:48,936 --> 00:13:50,506
Am I right, Marty?
328
00:13:50,546 --> 00:13:52,026
Uh-uh.
Yes!
329
00:13:52,069 --> 00:13:53,249
Uh-uh, man.
330
00:13:53,288 --> 00:13:54,468
Mar-- Yes.
331
00:13:56,595 --> 00:13:57,905
Now, I'm sorry,
my brother.
332
00:13:57,945 --> 00:13:59,645
But we didn't land
on this cobbler.
333
00:13:59,685 --> 00:14:01,125
This cobbler landed on us.
334
00:14:01,165 --> 00:14:04,085
Well, too bad for all of y'all,
335
00:14:04,125 --> 00:14:06,515
because this cobbler
about to land in my mouth.
336
00:14:09,782 --> 00:14:12,652
I'm gonna save us.
337
00:14:12,698 --> 00:14:13,828
How?
338
00:14:13,874 --> 00:14:15,304
Well, I'm gonna do exactly
339
00:14:15,353 --> 00:14:16,703
what Tom Cruise would do
in this situation.
340
00:14:16,746 --> 00:14:18,706
The only problem is,
341
00:14:18,748 --> 00:14:21,708
in Mission: Impossible,
he had all these cool gadgets.
342
00:14:21,751 --> 00:14:24,841
In Minority Report,
he had futuristic technology.
343
00:14:24,885 --> 00:14:27,935
All I have is my quick wit
and quiet strength.
344
00:14:34,503 --> 00:14:37,633
You act like it's Tom doing it,
but it's really a stuntman.
345
00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:39,560
That's where you're wrong.
Tom does all his own stunts.
346
00:14:39,595 --> 00:14:41,335
That's what makes him Tom.
347
00:14:41,379 --> 00:14:42,949
And I'm gonna get us
out of here.
348
00:14:42,990 --> 00:14:44,600
That's what makes me Dave.
349
00:14:45,993 --> 00:14:47,993
Okay. [exhales sharply]
350
00:14:51,302 --> 00:14:54,472
How does he make it look
so easy?
351
00:14:54,523 --> 00:14:56,783
Mm-mm.
352
00:14:56,829 --> 00:15:00,269
Cobbler. [laughs]
353
00:15:00,311 --> 00:15:03,441
It looks like y'all
little protest backfired, huh?
354
00:15:03,488 --> 00:15:06,368
More for me.
355
00:15:06,404 --> 00:15:08,274
This night couldn't get
any better.
356
00:15:08,319 --> 00:15:09,759
Who's ready for ice cream?
357
00:15:09,799 --> 00:15:11,539
Ooh, I stand corrected.
358
00:15:13,759 --> 00:15:15,899
Don't be vanilla bean.
Don't be vanilla bean.
359
00:15:15,936 --> 00:15:17,376
Is it vanilla bean? Oh.Mm-hmm.
360
00:15:19,417 --> 00:15:22,117
So you're saying I can't get any
of this vanilla bean
361
00:15:22,159 --> 00:15:23,559
because of that vanilla bean?
362
00:15:26,076 --> 00:15:27,516
Just stay strong,
my brother.
363
00:15:27,556 --> 00:15:28,686
What's going on?
364
00:15:28,731 --> 00:15:30,121
Oh, White Gandhi,
365
00:15:30,167 --> 00:15:31,387
Nerd Gandhi and Broke Gandhi
366
00:15:31,429 --> 00:15:33,129
are on a hunger strike.
367
00:15:34,737 --> 00:15:36,867
A hunger strike?Mm-hmm.
Yes.
368
00:15:36,913 --> 00:15:38,953
We are tired of Pop's
dictatorship.
369
00:15:39,002 --> 00:15:40,522
We demand democracy.
370
00:15:40,569 --> 00:15:41,569
And cobbler.
371
00:15:43,572 --> 00:15:46,352
Hot, bubbly cobbler
with-with-with-with cold,
372
00:15:46,401 --> 00:15:49,351
creamy ice cream,
where-where the cobbler starts
373
00:15:49,404 --> 00:15:51,494
to melt the ice cream
ever so slightly.
374
00:15:51,536 --> 00:15:53,496
And-and real specks
of vanilla beans
375
00:15:53,538 --> 00:15:57,288
start cascading down the side
of a peach, while my...
376
00:15:57,325 --> 00:15:59,545
Damn, man, just
have a piece.
377
00:15:59,588 --> 00:16:01,508
Okay, and here you go.
378
00:16:01,546 --> 00:16:02,766
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, wait.
379
00:16:02,808 --> 00:16:04,118
No, he doesn't
get cobbler.
380
00:16:04,158 --> 00:16:06,158
He didn't even try
his catfish.
381
00:16:06,203 --> 00:16:07,683
TINA:
Ah, come on, baby.
382
00:16:07,726 --> 00:16:09,376
Give the boy some cobbler.
It's probably the first time
383
00:16:09,424 --> 00:16:10,594
he ever tried food
with flavor.
384
00:16:13,732 --> 00:16:15,382
I don't care.
385
00:16:15,430 --> 00:16:17,220
The rules are the rules.
386
00:16:17,258 --> 00:16:18,788
And listen, little man,
387
00:16:18,824 --> 00:16:20,474
you may not understand this
right now,
388
00:16:20,522 --> 00:16:21,652
but I'm trying to help you.
389
00:16:21,697 --> 00:16:23,657
This feels like the opposite.
390
00:16:26,049 --> 00:16:28,709
Look, Grover,
you can't go through life
391
00:16:28,747 --> 00:16:30,667
with your mind already made up
392
00:16:30,706 --> 00:16:32,576
about things that you like
or don't like.
393
00:16:32,621 --> 00:16:34,271
You're going to miss out
394
00:16:34,318 --> 00:16:36,798
on a lot of stuff.Like what?
395
00:16:36,842 --> 00:16:38,532
Well, look at Marty.
396
00:16:38,583 --> 00:16:41,713
He didn't like working on
cars when he was a kid,
397
00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:44,590
but I made him,
and that's where he started
398
00:16:44,633 --> 00:16:46,933
to enjoy working on machines.
399
00:16:46,983 --> 00:16:49,763
And that turned him
into a successful engineer.
400
00:16:49,812 --> 00:16:51,902
Wait a minute, Dad,
are you seriously taking credit
401
00:16:51,944 --> 00:16:54,724
for me becoming an engineer?
402
00:16:54,773 --> 00:16:57,123
And-and Malcolm
hated books,
403
00:16:57,167 --> 00:16:58,827
but I made him
read to me
404
00:16:58,864 --> 00:17:00,694
every day when I
took him to school.
405
00:17:00,736 --> 00:17:02,606
We only lived
a mile away,
406
00:17:02,651 --> 00:17:05,871
so it took us five years
to finish Roots.
407
00:17:07,351 --> 00:17:09,221
But then you started reading
Malcolm X
408
00:17:09,266 --> 00:17:11,786
and Maya Angelou,
and James Baldwin,
409
00:17:11,834 --> 00:17:13,924
and look at you,
following in their footsteps.
410
00:17:13,966 --> 00:17:15,056
Yeah? How?
411
00:17:15,098 --> 00:17:18,148
Organizing sit-ins.
412
00:17:18,188 --> 00:17:21,368
I mean, granted, it's for
little white kids, but still.
413
00:17:22,758 --> 00:17:24,628
Calvin, please,
you're one to talk.
414
00:17:24,673 --> 00:17:26,153
You hate trying new things.
415
00:17:26,196 --> 00:17:27,326
That's not true.
416
00:17:27,371 --> 00:17:28,631
You just flipped out
the other day
417
00:17:28,677 --> 00:17:30,857
when I put raspberry vinaigrette
on your salad.
418
00:17:30,896 --> 00:17:34,026
That's because dressings are
supposed to be creamy, Tina.
419
00:17:35,292 --> 00:17:37,682
Ranch, Thousand Island,
blue cheese.
420
00:17:37,729 --> 00:17:40,519
If my carrot can't stand up
in it, I don't want it.
421
00:17:42,821 --> 00:17:45,821
Look, my point is,
422
00:17:45,868 --> 00:17:47,868
you don't know what you like
423
00:17:47,913 --> 00:17:50,263
until you at least
give it a try.
424
00:17:50,307 --> 00:17:52,967
Okay. I'll try it.
425
00:17:53,005 --> 00:17:54,575
Oh.
426
00:17:54,616 --> 00:17:56,446
Okay.
427
00:17:56,487 --> 00:17:57,877
What do you think?
428
00:17:57,923 --> 00:18:00,833
Mmm. It's good.
429
00:18:00,883 --> 00:18:02,443
It tastes like chicken fingers.
430
00:18:04,713 --> 00:18:06,883
Now you can have some cobbler.
431
00:18:06,932 --> 00:18:09,762
Hey, way to stay
strong, little man.
432
00:18:09,805 --> 00:18:11,895
You know, you are the
only kid to ever get more
433
00:18:11,937 --> 00:18:14,807
of an explanation than
"Because I said so."
434
00:18:16,203 --> 00:18:19,033
This is cause
for celebration.
435
00:18:19,771 --> 00:18:21,681
Oh.
436
00:18:21,730 --> 00:18:23,300
What you think you're doing?
437
00:18:23,340 --> 00:18:24,690
Why can't I have some?
438
00:18:24,733 --> 00:18:26,823
Because I said so.
439
00:18:29,651 --> 00:18:32,601
I can't believe what
a disaster tonight is.
440
00:18:32,654 --> 00:18:35,614
Instead of taking
your mind off of things,
441
00:18:35,657 --> 00:18:37,267
I just made
everything worse.
442
00:18:37,311 --> 00:18:39,131
No, you didn't.
443
00:18:40,052 --> 00:18:42,312
You did everything right.
444
00:18:42,359 --> 00:18:45,369
I don't know why I couldn't just
relax and enjoy it.
445
00:18:45,406 --> 00:18:47,146
Well, you got
a lot going on.
446
00:18:47,190 --> 00:18:49,540
Yeah, but I always
have a lot going on.
447
00:18:49,584 --> 00:18:51,884
I think this is something more.
448
00:18:51,934 --> 00:18:53,414
What do you mean?
449
00:18:54,763 --> 00:18:57,373
Was it wrong of me
to make us move here?
450
00:18:57,418 --> 00:18:58,728
What?
451
00:18:58,767 --> 00:19:00,157
I'm the one
who got the job
452
00:19:00,203 --> 00:19:01,763
and made us move
to California.
453
00:19:01,813 --> 00:19:03,373
I made us leave all
of our family,
454
00:19:03,424 --> 00:19:05,074
our friends, Grover's school.
455
00:19:05,121 --> 00:19:07,681
I uprooted everything.
456
00:19:07,732 --> 00:19:10,512
Gemma, you didn't
make us do anything.
457
00:19:10,561 --> 00:19:12,211
We decided together.
458
00:19:12,259 --> 00:19:13,659
Are you sure?
459
00:19:13,695 --> 00:19:19,005
Well, maybe
it was 60-40, but...
460
00:19:19,048 --> 00:19:22,228
I was an enthusiastic 40.
461
00:19:22,269 --> 00:19:24,929
Dave, you're an
enthusiastic everything.
462
00:19:26,969 --> 00:19:28,929
We're a team, Gemma.
463
00:19:28,971 --> 00:19:30,791
Like Maverick and Goose?
464
00:19:30,842 --> 00:19:32,932
[sighs]
465
00:19:32,975 --> 00:19:35,415
I've never loved you more.
466
00:19:35,456 --> 00:19:37,896
Ugh, I guess that
makes me Goose.
467
00:19:37,936 --> 00:19:39,856
Well, yeah, look at me.
You're definitely Goose.
468
00:19:42,593 --> 00:19:45,163
Gemma, I'd follow you anywhere.
469
00:19:45,205 --> 00:19:47,985
All I ever want to be
is close to you.
470
00:19:48,033 --> 00:19:50,423
I know, sweetie.
471
00:19:50,471 --> 00:19:51,991
I love you.
472
00:19:52,037 --> 00:19:53,997
And I love you.
473
00:19:55,911 --> 00:19:59,821
You know, even though this isn't
exactly what you had in mind,
474
00:19:59,871 --> 00:20:04,091
we are pretty
close right now.
475
00:20:04,136 --> 00:20:05,836
We are, aren't we?
476
00:20:05,877 --> 00:20:07,837
What do you think?
477
00:20:07,879 --> 00:20:10,539
Goose, you big stud,
478
00:20:10,578 --> 00:20:14,058
take me to bed
or lose me forever.
479
00:20:14,103 --> 00:20:16,103
♪
480
00:20:25,897 --> 00:20:28,247
Oh, hey, Grover.
What are you doing out of bed?
481
00:20:28,291 --> 00:20:30,811
I couldn't sleep.
Can you read to me?
482
00:20:30,859 --> 00:20:32,729
O-Of course. Let me...
483
00:20:32,774 --> 00:20:35,214
Uh-oh.
484
00:20:35,255 --> 00:20:37,775
Grover, whoa, whoa,
whoa, little man.
485
00:20:37,822 --> 00:20:40,602
In this house,
we all stay in our own beds.
486
00:20:40,651 --> 00:20:41,731
Why?
487
00:20:41,783 --> 00:20:43,343
Because I said so.
488
00:20:43,393 --> 00:20:45,393
You know that doesn't work
on me.
489
00:20:49,181 --> 00:20:51,831
"Once upon a time,
there was a little boy
490
00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:53,360
who didn't know
when to quit."
491
00:20:53,403 --> 00:20:55,013
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
492
00:20:55,057 --> 00:20:56,847
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
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