1 00:00:09,204 --> 00:00:11,032 Hey, what's up, little man? 2 00:00:11,075 --> 00:00:12,772 Oh, hi, Mr. Calvin. 3 00:00:12,816 --> 00:00:15,079 Me and my dad are about to do some hoops. 4 00:00:15,123 --> 00:00:18,082 I think you mean "shoot some hoops." 5 00:00:18,126 --> 00:00:19,518 No, he doesn't. 6 00:00:21,346 --> 00:00:24,654 Tryouts for the Walcott Academy Hula-Hoop squad are next week, 7 00:00:24,697 --> 00:00:27,657 and Grover's got to get his game hips on. 8 00:00:29,746 --> 00:00:31,661 Hula-Hoop tryouts? Mm-hmm. 9 00:00:31,704 --> 00:00:32,836 Don't you just show up 10 00:00:32,879 --> 00:00:35,186 and any kid who has asthma is in? 11 00:00:35,230 --> 00:00:37,014 Actually, it is very competitive. 12 00:00:37,058 --> 00:00:38,711 It's the second most popular sport at school, 13 00:00:38,755 --> 00:00:40,539 after Mathletics. 14 00:00:40,583 --> 00:00:42,498 And that one's for nerds. 15 00:00:43,934 --> 00:00:46,197 So, are you telling me that no one 16 00:00:46,241 --> 00:00:50,593 at this little hippie school of yours plays real sports? 17 00:00:50,636 --> 00:00:53,770 How do you tell the cool kids from the losers? 18 00:00:53,813 --> 00:00:56,164 Oh, Caleb's definitely cool. 19 00:00:56,207 --> 00:00:58,731 He can Hula-Hoop around his neck. 20 00:01:00,298 --> 00:01:02,996 And his dad won't let anyone forget it. 21 00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:05,608 Okay, listen to me, Dave. 22 00:01:05,651 --> 00:01:08,089 Look, the youth basketball team I coach 23 00:01:08,132 --> 00:01:09,699 is starting a new season. 24 00:01:09,742 --> 00:01:11,788 Do Grover a favor-- let him join us. 25 00:01:18,055 --> 00:01:19,622 Like, right now. 26 00:01:21,319 --> 00:01:23,539 I don't know. You know, Grover's never played 27 00:01:23,582 --> 00:01:25,367 organized sports before. 28 00:01:25,410 --> 00:01:27,151 Come on, Dave, it'll be good for him. 29 00:01:27,195 --> 00:01:29,110 Like... look, I don't like to brag, 30 00:01:29,153 --> 00:01:31,068 but I'm the best coach in town. 31 00:01:32,417 --> 00:01:34,985 Maybe in all of California. 32 00:01:36,856 --> 00:01:38,597 I guess it would be good for Grover 33 00:01:38,641 --> 00:01:39,685 to learn about winning and losing. 34 00:01:39,729 --> 00:01:41,426 Not on my team. 35 00:01:41,470 --> 00:01:44,168 No, we've gone undefeated the last two seasons. 36 00:01:44,212 --> 00:01:46,605 He's gonna have to learn that losing part from you. 37 00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:50,000 All right, what do you say, bud? 38 00:01:50,043 --> 00:01:52,002 You want to join Mr. Calvin's basketball team? 39 00:01:52,045 --> 00:01:53,786 Sure. Sounds fun. 40 00:01:53,830 --> 00:01:58,051 Great. Practice starts tomorrow, but for now, 41 00:01:58,095 --> 00:02:00,184 why don't you show me what you got. 42 00:02:00,228 --> 00:02:02,317 All right, now, come on, buddy.All right. 43 00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:04,232 Show him those Johnson skills. 44 00:02:05,276 --> 00:02:07,278 CALVIN: Come on. All right. 45 00:02:12,979 --> 00:02:15,982 You know what, uh, let's try it with this one. 46 00:02:17,636 --> 00:02:19,508 ♪ Welcome to the block, welcome to the neighborhood ♪ 47 00:02:19,551 --> 00:02:20,857 ♪ Welcome to the hood. 48 00:02:26,602 --> 00:02:27,690 Hey, Mom. 49 00:02:27,733 --> 00:02:29,909 Hey. How was basketball practice? 50 00:02:29,953 --> 00:02:32,260 It was great! Coach Calvin made me 51 00:02:32,303 --> 00:02:34,697 the most important position on the team. 52 00:02:34,740 --> 00:02:36,438 Really? That's incredible. 53 00:02:36,481 --> 00:02:38,266 What are you, the point guard? 54 00:02:38,309 --> 00:02:39,441 Better. 55 00:02:39,484 --> 00:02:41,182 The equipment manager! 56 00:02:45,534 --> 00:02:47,666 What? You can't be the equipment manager. 57 00:02:47,710 --> 00:02:49,451 That's the job they give the kids who... 58 00:02:49,494 --> 00:02:53,411 Who care the most about the team. 59 00:02:55,108 --> 00:02:56,458 It's so cool. 60 00:02:56,501 --> 00:02:59,504 I'm in charge of the basketballs and towels, 61 00:02:59,548 --> 00:03:02,725 and no one gets Gatorade without going through me. 62 00:03:02,768 --> 00:03:04,509 Mm. 63 00:03:04,553 --> 00:03:06,555 Yeah, he might not need to wear a cup, but... 64 00:03:06,598 --> 00:03:09,514 he sure can fill one. 65 00:03:09,558 --> 00:03:12,648 I'm gonna go practice handing out orange slices. 66 00:03:14,780 --> 00:03:17,479 If only Caleb could see me now. 67 00:03:18,523 --> 00:03:20,264 Yeah, you go get 'em, son! 68 00:03:21,613 --> 00:03:24,094 Kid's got a heart of a champion. 69 00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:25,704 No, what the kid has got is 70 00:03:25,748 --> 00:03:27,271 the most embarrassing job on the team. 71 00:03:27,315 --> 00:03:29,752 Ugh! Being the equipment manager is like being 72 00:03:29,795 --> 00:03:31,841 the tree in the school play. 73 00:03:31,884 --> 00:03:34,409 Hey, I was the tree in the school play. 74 00:03:36,541 --> 00:03:38,413 Don't throw shade until you've provided it. 75 00:03:38,456 --> 00:03:40,328 Oh, God. 76 00:03:41,894 --> 00:03:44,593 Seriously, how could you let Calvin do that to him? 77 00:03:44,636 --> 00:03:46,290 Oh, well, Gemma... 78 00:03:46,334 --> 00:03:47,552 he was awful. 79 00:03:47,596 --> 00:03:49,989 I mean, he couldn't shoot, he couldn't pass, 80 00:03:50,033 --> 00:03:53,079 and when he jumped, I don't know, somehow... 81 00:03:53,123 --> 00:03:55,125 he got lower. 82 00:03:56,605 --> 00:03:58,520 How is that even possible? 83 00:03:58,563 --> 00:03:59,782 No one knows. 84 00:04:04,961 --> 00:04:07,224 Aw, how about this one? 85 00:04:07,268 --> 00:04:09,574 Your old hall monitor vest. 86 00:04:11,272 --> 00:04:13,578 Keep or trash it? 87 00:04:13,622 --> 00:04:16,364 Uh, trash. I don't want to be one of those guys 88 00:04:16,407 --> 00:04:17,713 that's stuck in his glory days. 89 00:04:20,368 --> 00:04:22,239 Whoa, what is going on in here? 90 00:04:22,283 --> 00:04:25,155 Looks like somebody turned a nerd upside down and shook him. 91 00:04:26,939 --> 00:04:30,029 No, we're just clearing out a few of Marty's old things. 92 00:04:30,073 --> 00:04:31,727 Your father was complaining about my stuff 93 00:04:31,770 --> 00:04:33,163 crowding his side of the closet. 94 00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:35,339 Oh, so you're moving some of your stuff here? 95 00:04:35,383 --> 00:04:36,688 No, his. 96 00:04:37,733 --> 00:04:39,169 And if he complains again, 97 00:04:39,212 --> 00:04:40,649 he's getting moved here, too. 98 00:04:42,477 --> 00:04:44,827 Hey, check it out-- my old snake terrarium. 99 00:04:44,870 --> 00:04:47,220 Oh, yeah, I remember Slinky. 100 00:04:47,264 --> 00:04:49,266 You thought you would look cool showing up at parties 101 00:04:49,310 --> 00:04:50,572 with a snake around your neck. 102 00:04:50,615 --> 00:04:53,052 Well, I would have if he hadn't escaped. 103 00:04:53,096 --> 00:04:55,403 Or if you were ever invited to a party. 104 00:04:57,318 --> 00:04:58,841 Malcolm, stop being so mean to your brother. 105 00:04:58,884 --> 00:05:00,625 Yeah, thanks, Mom.Now, get your old, 106 00:05:00,669 --> 00:05:02,061 stupid childhood crap out of here. 107 00:05:02,105 --> 00:05:04,499 Out of here. 108 00:05:06,239 --> 00:05:08,590 I don't blame Slinky for running away. 109 00:05:08,633 --> 00:05:11,157 I would take off, too, if my owner was 110 00:05:11,201 --> 00:05:14,247 an "Official Klingon Ambassador." 111 00:05:14,291 --> 00:05:17,468 Well, actually... 112 00:05:17,512 --> 00:05:20,297 Slinky didn't exactly run away. 113 00:05:20,341 --> 00:05:21,516 What? 114 00:05:21,559 --> 00:05:22,604 Ooh, I hated that thing. 115 00:05:22,647 --> 00:05:24,388 It freaked the hell out of me. 116 00:05:24,432 --> 00:05:27,609 So, one day, you boys were in school, 117 00:05:27,652 --> 00:05:30,612 and I put it in a bag and drove it to the woods. 118 00:05:33,441 --> 00:05:34,485 You let it go? 119 00:05:34,529 --> 00:05:36,182 Yeah, let's go with that. 120 00:05:37,706 --> 00:05:39,925 I can't believe Marty never found out. 121 00:05:39,969 --> 00:05:41,492 And he never will, right? 122 00:05:41,536 --> 00:05:44,669 Hey, well, don't worry, I did not hear a thing. 123 00:05:44,713 --> 00:05:46,279 Yeah. 124 00:05:46,323 --> 00:05:47,759 But I did! 125 00:05:55,463 --> 00:05:57,552 Calvin. 126 00:05:57,595 --> 00:05:59,684 Oh. Hey, Gemma. 127 00:05:59,728 --> 00:06:00,816 Equipment manager? 128 00:06:00,859 --> 00:06:03,122 You made my son the equipment manager? 129 00:06:03,166 --> 00:06:04,994 Hey. 130 00:06:05,037 --> 00:06:08,519 It's the most important person on the team... 131 00:06:08,563 --> 00:06:11,261 who's not technically on the team. 132 00:06:12,784 --> 00:06:14,743 Calvin, I played varsity lacrosse, 133 00:06:14,786 --> 00:06:17,136 and we all know what happens to equipment managers. 134 00:06:17,180 --> 00:06:19,748 They get teased and shoved into lockers. 135 00:06:19,791 --> 00:06:22,751 At least that's what we did to ours. 136 00:06:22,794 --> 00:06:25,667 Yeah, those were the good old days, right? 137 00:06:25,710 --> 00:06:29,061 I stuffed more geeks into lockers than I did books. 138 00:06:30,715 --> 00:06:32,891 Calvin, being on a team made me resilient. 139 00:06:32,935 --> 00:06:34,632 It toughened me up. 140 00:06:34,676 --> 00:06:36,329 And that's what I want for Grover. 141 00:06:36,373 --> 00:06:38,244 But... 142 00:06:38,288 --> 00:06:41,117 he's the worst player I've ever coached. 143 00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:43,380 And I coached Marty. 144 00:06:44,990 --> 00:06:46,601 It was one practice. 145 00:06:46,644 --> 00:06:48,472 I'm sure he'll get better. 146 00:06:48,516 --> 00:06:50,169 Besides, I thought you told Dave 147 00:06:50,213 --> 00:06:52,433 you were the best coach in the world. 148 00:06:52,476 --> 00:06:54,739 I never said that. 149 00:06:54,783 --> 00:06:56,393 I'm not an egomaniac. 150 00:06:57,873 --> 00:06:59,396 I said California. 151 00:07:00,789 --> 00:07:02,399 Look, it was your idea 152 00:07:02,443 --> 00:07:04,749 to put him on the team in the first place, so... 153 00:07:04,793 --> 00:07:06,142 put him on the team. 154 00:07:06,185 --> 00:07:09,885 Unless you want to be stuffed into a locker. 155 00:07:18,589 --> 00:07:20,548 Wow. 156 00:07:20,591 --> 00:07:23,464 For a tiny little white girl, she's kind of scary. 157 00:07:26,510 --> 00:07:27,642 I can't believe it. 158 00:07:27,685 --> 00:07:30,035 You murdered Slinky. 159 00:07:30,079 --> 00:07:31,733 Well, it was self-defense. 160 00:07:31,776 --> 00:07:33,735 As soon as he saw my snakeskin boots, 161 00:07:33,778 --> 00:07:35,693 I knew he was coming for me. 162 00:07:37,565 --> 00:07:39,088 Yeah, hey, look, come on, Marty. 163 00:07:39,131 --> 00:07:41,656 It's been almost 15 years, man. Let it go. 164 00:07:41,699 --> 00:07:43,396 Well, it's easy for you to say. 165 00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:45,877 You're not the one who loved him, cared for him, 166 00:07:45,921 --> 00:07:48,619 took him outside for his nightly slithers. 167 00:07:50,316 --> 00:07:51,753 Okay, Marty, 168 00:07:51,796 --> 00:07:52,841 I'm sorry. I shouldn't have 169 00:07:52,884 --> 00:07:54,320 gotten rid of your pet like that. 170 00:07:54,364 --> 00:07:56,192 What can I do to make it up to you? 171 00:07:56,235 --> 00:07:57,410 Well, that depends. 172 00:07:57,454 --> 00:07:58,977 What else have you lied to me about? 173 00:07:59,021 --> 00:08:00,849 Did my old Space Camp buddy Winston Chang 174 00:08:00,892 --> 00:08:03,460 really move back to China, or did you kill him, too? 175 00:08:06,115 --> 00:08:08,596 Okay, Marty, come on. 176 00:08:08,639 --> 00:08:10,815 Let me do something to make you feel better. 177 00:08:10,859 --> 00:08:12,164 Like what? 178 00:08:12,208 --> 00:08:13,601 Anything. Just name it. 179 00:08:13,644 --> 00:08:16,299 Well, I-I do love your seafood jambalaya. 180 00:08:16,342 --> 00:08:18,040 Oh. 181 00:08:18,083 --> 00:08:20,042 Wow. 182 00:08:20,085 --> 00:08:22,784 I mean, with all the shopping and the prep, 183 00:08:22,827 --> 00:08:24,873 that's gonna take all day. 184 00:08:24,916 --> 00:08:26,744 Yeah, you're right. It does take a lot of time. 185 00:08:26,788 --> 00:08:30,052 Yeah.Although death is forever. 186 00:08:34,491 --> 00:08:37,581 Okay. Fine. I'll go to the market right now. 187 00:08:37,625 --> 00:08:38,843 Well, hey, Ma, since you out there... 188 00:08:38,887 --> 00:08:40,105 I didn't kill your pet. 189 00:08:46,068 --> 00:08:48,461 Oh, man, I'm really surprised how upset you are. 190 00:08:48,505 --> 00:08:50,855 I didn't realize how much you loved that snake. 191 00:08:51,813 --> 00:08:53,554 Well, actually... 192 00:08:56,469 --> 00:08:58,254 I hated that damn thing! 193 00:08:58,297 --> 00:09:00,125 What? 194 00:09:00,169 --> 00:09:01,518 Well, it was terrifying. 195 00:09:01,562 --> 00:09:03,476 Like a giant piece of spaghetti with teeth. 196 00:09:06,001 --> 00:09:07,437 All right, well, 197 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:09,570 then why are you giving Mama such a hard time? 198 00:09:09,613 --> 00:09:12,573 I'll tell you why-- to teach her a lesson in honesty. 199 00:09:12,616 --> 00:09:14,923 By lying to her? 200 00:09:16,185 --> 00:09:18,448 Well, I-I wouldn't call it lying. 201 00:09:18,491 --> 00:09:19,928 Okay, then what would you call it? 202 00:09:19,971 --> 00:09:21,407 Well, I... 203 00:09:21,451 --> 00:09:23,627 Oh, give me a break, Malcolm. I'm in mourning. 204 00:09:23,671 --> 00:09:25,455 What? 205 00:09:25,498 --> 00:09:28,327 Okay, Grover, you ever heard the phrase 206 00:09:28,371 --> 00:09:30,460 "he got game"?Sure. 207 00:09:30,503 --> 00:09:31,983 Well, you ain't got none. 208 00:09:34,159 --> 00:09:36,945 But I promised your mom I'd turn you into a player, 209 00:09:36,988 --> 00:09:38,642 and that's what I'm gonna do. 210 00:09:38,686 --> 00:09:43,168 But I can't dribble, I can't shoot, I can't pass. 211 00:09:43,212 --> 00:09:46,476 Don't forget you suck at rebounding, too. 212 00:09:46,519 --> 00:09:48,173 I know. If I have to play, 213 00:09:48,217 --> 00:09:50,393 I'm just gonna go out there and embarrass myself. 214 00:09:50,436 --> 00:09:53,222 Oh, oh, oh, don't worry. Look, I got a plan. 215 00:09:53,265 --> 00:09:55,833 You remember when Jorge tried to get 216 00:09:55,877 --> 00:09:57,835 the extra orange slice at practice 217 00:09:57,879 --> 00:09:59,968 and you slapped his hand away? 218 00:10:00,011 --> 00:10:01,317 Not on my watch. 219 00:10:03,798 --> 00:10:08,890 That's why I'm gonna make you the enforcer. 220 00:10:08,933 --> 00:10:10,239 The enforcer? 221 00:10:10,282 --> 00:10:12,981 That kind of sounds like a superhero. 222 00:10:13,024 --> 00:10:14,286 It is. 223 00:10:14,330 --> 00:10:17,246 But instead of saving people, your job 224 00:10:17,289 --> 00:10:19,030 is to elbow them, 225 00:10:19,074 --> 00:10:22,077 foul and scare the crap out of other kids. 226 00:10:23,731 --> 00:10:24,949 Am I allowed to do that? 227 00:10:24,993 --> 00:10:27,038 Up to six times a game. 228 00:10:28,518 --> 00:10:29,911 Okay, so here. 229 00:10:29,954 --> 00:10:31,913 Pretend I'm on the other team 230 00:10:31,956 --> 00:10:33,088 and we're fighting for a rebound. 231 00:10:33,131 --> 00:10:34,393 Show me what you got. 232 00:10:34,437 --> 00:10:35,525 Come on. 233 00:10:40,095 --> 00:10:42,227 : And your mom said I wasn't a good coach. 234 00:10:51,584 --> 00:10:54,936 Oh, look at Grover out there. 235 00:10:54,979 --> 00:10:58,243 He looks so grown-up in his uniform. 236 00:10:58,287 --> 00:11:00,419 Mommy loves you, snuggle bug! 237 00:11:00,463 --> 00:11:01,943 Mommy! 238 00:11:03,553 --> 00:11:05,120 I'm so nervous for him. 239 00:11:05,163 --> 00:11:06,861 It feels like opening night at the school play. 240 00:11:06,904 --> 00:11:08,514 My leaves were shaking so bad, 241 00:11:08,558 --> 00:11:10,995 they had to add a line about the gusty wind. 242 00:11:13,345 --> 00:11:14,651 Come on, bring it in. 243 00:11:14,695 --> 00:11:16,305 All right, guys. 244 00:11:16,348 --> 00:11:17,959 We're gonna go out there, we're gonna play hard, 245 00:11:18,002 --> 00:11:20,439 we're gonna have fun, but most importantly, 246 00:11:20,483 --> 00:11:23,442 show good sportsmanship. 247 00:11:23,486 --> 00:11:25,314 Go Lions!TEAM: Roar! 248 00:11:25,357 --> 00:11:26,924 Let's get it. 249 00:11:26,968 --> 00:11:28,752 Whoa, whoa, hey, Grover. 250 00:11:28,796 --> 00:11:31,581 All that good sportsmanship stuff doesn't apply to you. 251 00:11:31,624 --> 00:11:32,800 Got it. 252 00:11:32,843 --> 00:11:35,890 Hey-hey, and, uh, here's your mouth guard. 253 00:11:35,933 --> 00:11:37,587 Safety first. 254 00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:39,023 Yours, not theirs. 255 00:11:40,677 --> 00:11:42,592 Thanks, Coach Calvin. 256 00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:47,423 Oh, my God, Grover's starting. 257 00:11:48,206 --> 00:11:50,687 That's my son! Number 12! 258 00:11:50,731 --> 00:11:52,080 That's my snuggly son! 259 00:11:53,385 --> 00:11:55,648 Wow, yesterday Grover was the water boy. 260 00:11:55,692 --> 00:11:57,041 Today he's in the starting five. 261 00:11:57,085 --> 00:11:58,826 I mean, at this rate, tomorrow he's gonna be... 262 00:12:01,219 --> 00:12:03,221 Foul, number 12! 263 00:12:03,265 --> 00:12:05,310 ...in jail. 264 00:12:15,494 --> 00:12:17,670 Dude.Yo, what's up, man? 265 00:12:17,714 --> 00:12:21,370 Don't tell me you guilted Mom into baking you a pie? 266 00:12:21,413 --> 00:12:23,546 I sure did. 267 00:12:23,589 --> 00:12:26,157 Revenge is a dish best served à la mode. 268 00:12:27,768 --> 00:12:31,119 Okay, Marty, I'm off to clean your apartment. 269 00:12:31,989 --> 00:12:33,251 Thanks, Mama. 270 00:12:33,295 --> 00:12:35,863 Now, you sure you're okay doing this for me? 271 00:12:35,906 --> 00:12:38,082 Oh, anything for my baby. 272 00:12:38,126 --> 00:12:40,606 Great. Make sure you use the pine scent, 273 00:12:40,650 --> 00:12:42,391 because the lemon tickles my nose. 274 00:12:42,434 --> 00:12:46,134 Okay, let me see if I have any. 275 00:12:46,177 --> 00:12:49,180 I should've took hisass to the woods. 276 00:12:50,791 --> 00:12:52,793 You know what? That's it, man. 277 00:12:52,836 --> 00:12:53,881 You're taking this too far. 278 00:12:53,924 --> 00:12:55,317 I'm telling Mama the truth. 279 00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:57,145 Well, would a piece of this delicious blueberry pie 280 00:12:57,188 --> 00:12:58,581 change your mind? 281 00:12:58,624 --> 00:13:00,975 Do you seriously think you can buy me off with pie? 282 00:13:01,018 --> 00:13:03,194 What about tickets to the Lakers game? 283 00:13:05,544 --> 00:13:07,329 Mama got you Laker tickets? 284 00:13:09,635 --> 00:13:12,508 Not yet, but if I can figure out how to make myself cry, 285 00:13:12,551 --> 00:13:16,033 it'll be Jack Nicholson, you, and me on the floor. 286 00:13:17,643 --> 00:13:19,602 Okay, I'm off. 287 00:13:19,645 --> 00:13:22,083 Here come the tears.Aah! 288 00:13:22,126 --> 00:13:26,043 Oh, oh... 289 00:13:26,087 --> 00:13:27,653 Oh, I know. 290 00:13:29,351 --> 00:13:32,093 It's okay, baby bro. 291 00:13:32,136 --> 00:13:34,051 Slinky's in heaven now. 292 00:13:37,228 --> 00:13:39,100 What the hell is going on out there? 293 00:13:39,143 --> 00:13:41,189 Grover's out of control. 294 00:13:41,232 --> 00:13:43,147 Okay, uh... 295 00:13:43,191 --> 00:13:45,062 so we got off to a pretty aggressive start, 296 00:13:45,106 --> 00:13:47,021 but I think he's beginning to calm down. 297 00:13:47,064 --> 00:13:50,502 I mean, he hasn't fouled anybody in almost two minutes. 298 00:13:50,546 --> 00:13:52,461 Dave, it's a time-out. 299 00:13:54,942 --> 00:13:56,813 Okay. Come on! 300 00:13:58,293 --> 00:14:00,208 Look, maybe Calvin called the time-out 301 00:14:00,251 --> 00:14:02,123 to tell Grover to keep his elbows to himself. 302 00:14:03,559 --> 00:14:05,082 REFEREE: Foul, number 12! 303 00:14:08,694 --> 00:14:10,218 That's it. I'm talking to Calvin. 304 00:14:10,261 --> 00:14:11,915 Okay, I'm coming, too. 305 00:14:11,959 --> 00:14:14,004 Even the parents on our team look like they want to kill us. 306 00:14:15,179 --> 00:14:16,789 Come on, ref! 307 00:14:16,833 --> 00:14:18,400 That kid traveled so much, 308 00:14:18,443 --> 00:14:21,011 it's like he's going to see his real daddy for the weekend. 309 00:14:24,449 --> 00:14:25,711 Calvin? 310 00:14:25,755 --> 00:14:28,149 What the hell? Grover's acting like an animal! 311 00:14:28,192 --> 00:14:29,498 I know, right? 312 00:14:31,195 --> 00:14:34,633 Forget California, I may be the best coach in the world. 313 00:14:34,677 --> 00:14:37,332 I asked you to teach him how to play basketball, 314 00:14:37,375 --> 00:14:39,290 not turn him into a goon. 315 00:14:39,334 --> 00:14:42,163 Hey, you told me to toughen him up. 316 00:14:42,206 --> 00:14:43,773 Plus, we're winning. 317 00:14:43,816 --> 00:14:46,907 He might not even have to use his last two fouls. 318 00:14:48,212 --> 00:14:50,345 REFEREE: Foul, number 12! 319 00:14:52,347 --> 00:14:54,915 Okay, one foul. 320 00:14:56,264 --> 00:14:58,222 So you're not gonna do anything about this? 321 00:14:58,266 --> 00:15:00,964 No. Not in the middle of a game. 322 00:15:01,008 --> 00:15:02,618 Fine. Then I will. 323 00:15:05,055 --> 00:15:06,317 Hey! 324 00:15:08,232 --> 00:15:10,321 Oh, God, this is my mom at the school play 325 00:15:10,365 --> 00:15:12,280 all over again. 326 00:15:12,323 --> 00:15:14,586 You want to teach my kid how to play dirty? 327 00:15:14,630 --> 00:15:17,328 Good luck doing it without this. 328 00:15:26,511 --> 00:15:30,385 She does know we have a whole rack of balls right here, right? 329 00:15:34,432 --> 00:15:36,173 This pie is delicious. 330 00:15:36,217 --> 00:15:37,522 Yeah, I know. 331 00:15:37,566 --> 00:15:39,176 I always thought the secret ingredient was love. 332 00:15:39,220 --> 00:15:42,745 Turns out, it's guilt. 333 00:15:42,788 --> 00:15:45,313 Hey, boys. Hey. Hey, Mama. 334 00:15:45,356 --> 00:15:46,357 What's that? 335 00:15:46,401 --> 00:15:48,969 A gift for you. I think I finally 336 00:15:49,012 --> 00:15:50,840 figured out something that will make up 337 00:15:50,883 --> 00:15:52,537 for what I did to you. 338 00:15:52,581 --> 00:15:54,017 Oh, Mom, you shouldn't have. 339 00:15:54,061 --> 00:15:55,714 Although, given your savage betrayal, 340 00:15:55,758 --> 00:15:56,846 you probably should have. 341 00:15:56,889 --> 00:15:59,153 All right, well, 342 00:15:59,196 --> 00:16:00,719 open it, baby. 343 00:16:00,763 --> 00:16:02,199 Okay, well, whatever it is, 344 00:16:02,243 --> 00:16:03,374 hopefully it'll make me forget 345 00:16:03,418 --> 00:16:06,856 the memory of my precious-- snake! 346 00:16:08,858 --> 00:16:13,384 Yeah. See, I realized that there's no amount 347 00:16:13,428 --> 00:16:16,213 of cooking and cleaning that could replace your snake. 348 00:16:16,257 --> 00:16:20,304 But maybe one that's twice as big could. 349 00:16:20,348 --> 00:16:22,872 Ooh-ooh!Ah! 350 00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:25,309 Aw! Do you love it? 351 00:16:25,353 --> 00:16:26,658 I know Ido. 352 00:16:26,702 --> 00:16:28,356 Ooh. 353 00:16:28,399 --> 00:16:31,359 Here, come on, let me put him around your neck. 354 00:16:31,402 --> 00:16:34,884 Oh, look at him. Oh, look at that, aw... 355 00:16:37,104 --> 00:16:39,236 He's so cute. 356 00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:41,499 Look at him, Mama. 357 00:16:41,543 --> 00:16:43,414 He's so happy, he's about to cry. 358 00:16:45,373 --> 00:16:47,331 He gonna die. 359 00:16:47,375 --> 00:16:49,551 Get it off. 360 00:16:49,594 --> 00:16:52,249 What, wha-what'd you say, baby? I can't hear you. 361 00:16:52,293 --> 00:16:54,643 Get the snake-- get it-- get it off.Get it off? 362 00:16:54,686 --> 00:16:56,775 Like, take it off of your neck? Oh, okay. 363 00:16:56,819 --> 00:16:58,777 Let me hold... You want me to hold him? Okay. 364 00:17:03,608 --> 00:17:06,350 And that's what you get for messing with your mama! 365 00:17:06,394 --> 00:17:07,917 You better ask somebody! 366 00:17:10,267 --> 00:17:12,400 So you knew, huh? 367 00:17:12,443 --> 00:17:14,837 Hell yeah, I knew! 368 00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:17,231 I heard you two talking when I was in the kitchen. 369 00:17:17,274 --> 00:17:19,450 Um, how much did you hear? 370 00:17:19,494 --> 00:17:22,366 Mmm, about this much!Aah! 371 00:17:23,498 --> 00:17:26,196 Selling out your own mother for a Laker ticket? 372 00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:28,503 You're an even bigger snake than this one! 373 00:17:29,678 --> 00:17:31,288 Uh-oh, where'd it go? 374 00:17:34,378 --> 00:17:36,119 Aw, hell no! 375 00:17:36,163 --> 00:17:38,295 I'm moving! I'm moving!Go! 376 00:17:42,169 --> 00:17:45,302 Mom, Mom, you should've seen it! I made the game-winning play! 377 00:17:45,346 --> 00:17:47,478 You scored a basket? 378 00:17:47,522 --> 00:17:50,742 No, I would have had to touch the ball to do that. 379 00:17:53,876 --> 00:17:56,008 Oh, so you fouled another kid. 380 00:17:56,052 --> 00:17:58,141 Oh, no. He didn't have to. 381 00:17:58,185 --> 00:17:59,751 The best player on their team 382 00:17:59,795 --> 00:18:01,318 was about to score the game-winning shot, 383 00:18:01,362 --> 00:18:03,015 but then, when he saw Grover, 384 00:18:03,059 --> 00:18:05,453 he threw up an airball and peed himself! 385 00:18:07,672 --> 00:18:10,022 Hey, come on, buddy. Let's go inside. 386 00:18:10,066 --> 00:18:11,807 You should probably shower, and, uh, 387 00:18:11,850 --> 00:18:14,201 I should probably call an attorney. 388 00:18:17,204 --> 00:18:19,162 Well, Calvin, congratulations. 389 00:18:19,206 --> 00:18:20,555 You turned my son into a monster 390 00:18:20,598 --> 00:18:23,035 just so you could win a stupid basketball game. 391 00:18:23,079 --> 00:18:24,167 I hope you're happy. 392 00:18:25,212 --> 00:18:26,735 When you say it like that, 393 00:18:26,778 --> 00:18:28,171 it sounds like I'm not supposed to be. 394 00:18:28,215 --> 00:18:30,304 Oh! 395 00:18:30,347 --> 00:18:32,088 You're unbelievable. 396 00:18:32,132 --> 00:18:33,307 Look, Gemma. 397 00:18:33,350 --> 00:18:35,178 You said that he had to play. 398 00:18:35,222 --> 00:18:37,180 Well, this is the only way that he could do it 399 00:18:37,224 --> 00:18:38,747 without embarrassing himself. 400 00:18:38,790 --> 00:18:40,618 Oh, really? 401 00:18:40,662 --> 00:18:42,142 So this was just about protecting him 402 00:18:42,185 --> 00:18:44,666 and not your precious winning streak? 403 00:18:44,709 --> 00:18:46,146 Why can't it be both? 404 00:18:49,323 --> 00:18:50,759 Calvin, this was supposed to be 405 00:18:50,802 --> 00:18:54,632 about teaching Grover the value of being on a team. 406 00:18:54,676 --> 00:18:56,199 I trusted you. 407 00:18:56,243 --> 00:18:57,766 Think about it. 408 00:18:57,809 --> 00:19:01,465 If Grover would've went out there and played terrible, 409 00:19:01,509 --> 00:19:05,556 and we lost, all the other kids would have blamed him. 410 00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:07,906 And then he would never want to be on a team again. 411 00:19:07,950 --> 00:19:09,212 Is that what you want? 412 00:19:09,256 --> 00:19:11,301 Well, obviously not. 413 00:19:11,345 --> 00:19:13,434 But I also don't want kids wetting their pants 414 00:19:13,477 --> 00:19:14,609 when he walks into a room. 415 00:19:17,002 --> 00:19:18,221 Look, I was just trying 416 00:19:18,265 --> 00:19:19,831 to give him a role on the team 417 00:19:19,875 --> 00:19:21,529 where he could feel good about himself. 418 00:19:21,572 --> 00:19:23,792 Yeah, but there's nothing to feel good about 419 00:19:23,835 --> 00:19:27,230 if he's not playing the right way. 420 00:19:27,274 --> 00:19:30,015 All right. Okay. 421 00:19:30,059 --> 00:19:32,235 I hear you. 422 00:19:32,279 --> 00:19:36,021 Maybe I took it a little too far. 423 00:19:36,065 --> 00:19:37,240 I apologize. 424 00:19:37,284 --> 00:19:38,763 Thank you. 425 00:19:38,807 --> 00:19:40,156 But you got to admit, 426 00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:42,637 he was having a good time out there. 427 00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:46,162 He did have a pretty big smile on his face.Yeah. 428 00:19:46,206 --> 00:19:49,296 So I guess I have to give you credit for that. 429 00:19:49,339 --> 00:19:52,864 Well, you don't vote yourself best coach in California 430 00:19:52,908 --> 00:19:54,431 for nothing. 431 00:19:56,390 --> 00:19:58,827 I'll tell you what, I'll keep working with Grover 432 00:19:58,870 --> 00:20:01,438 on his fundamentals, bring him up to speed. 433 00:20:01,482 --> 00:20:02,918 Thank you. 434 00:20:02,961 --> 00:20:06,269 And promise me, next game, no more fouling. 435 00:20:06,313 --> 00:20:07,705 Not a problem. 436 00:20:07,749 --> 00:20:10,317 You don't have to worry about that at all. 437 00:20:10,360 --> 00:20:12,319 He's been suspended for the rest of the season. 438 00:20:18,629 --> 00:20:20,327 Hey, Calvin... 439 00:20:22,416 --> 00:20:25,288 I just hit 12 minutes. Personal best. 440 00:20:25,332 --> 00:20:28,509 I've been watching for five seconds. 441 00:20:28,552 --> 00:20:30,162 Personal worst. 442 00:20:30,206 --> 00:20:32,252 All right, come on. 443 00:20:32,295 --> 00:20:33,731 Why don't you give it a try? 444 00:20:33,775 --> 00:20:35,603 Absolutely not. 445 00:20:35,646 --> 00:20:38,083 Calvin, you have the wrong attitude. 446 00:20:38,127 --> 00:20:40,172 It's stop making fun ofit 447 00:20:40,216 --> 00:20:41,435 and start making fun 448 00:20:41,478 --> 00:20:43,785 a-withit. 449 00:20:45,439 --> 00:20:49,356 Fine. I'll give it a spin. 450 00:20:52,446 --> 00:20:53,795 Hey, man! 451 00:20:54,883 --> 00:20:56,363 Huh. 452 00:20:56,406 --> 00:20:58,626 That was more fun than I thought. 453 00:20:58,669 --> 00:21:00,671 Snake! 454 00:21:00,715 --> 00:21:02,891 Captioning sponsored by CBS 455 00:21:02,934 --> 00:21:04,936 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org