1 00:00:03,399 --> 00:00:05,279 Okay, Grover, this is it. 2 00:00:05,359 --> 00:00:07,119 If the kicker misses, we stay alive, 3 00:00:07,194 --> 00:00:09,364 and those losers go home. 4 00:00:09,447 --> 00:00:12,287 But... if he misses, won't he feel sad? 5 00:00:12,366 --> 00:00:14,406 Yeah, he'll be devastated. 6 00:00:14,493 --> 00:00:16,703 It's my favorite part of football. 7 00:00:18,038 --> 00:00:20,418 Okay, here comes the kick. 8 00:00:20,499 --> 00:00:22,509 (exhaling sharply) 9 00:00:22,585 --> 00:00:24,005 Yes! No good! 10 00:00:24,086 --> 00:00:25,626 No good! 11 00:00:25,713 --> 00:00:26,793 Ha! That's so good! 12 00:00:26,881 --> 00:00:28,501 Look at his... look at his face. 13 00:00:28,591 --> 00:00:30,171 Oh, what happened? 14 00:00:30,259 --> 00:00:31,259 The kicker missed the field goal. 15 00:00:31,343 --> 00:00:33,133 Aw. He must feel so sad. 16 00:00:34,388 --> 00:00:36,188 Is Tina still at church? 17 00:00:36,265 --> 00:00:37,805 It's getting kind of late. 18 00:00:37,892 --> 00:00:39,552 Yeah, she's on the selection committee 19 00:00:39,643 --> 00:00:41,353 to choose a new pastor. 20 00:00:41,437 --> 00:00:43,277 She really likes this latest candidate. 21 00:00:43,355 --> 00:00:45,815 Ooh, is he the "fire and brimstone" type, 22 00:00:45,900 --> 00:00:47,820 or more of a hip, guitar-playing dude 23 00:00:47,902 --> 00:00:49,692 who's down with the G-O-D? 24 00:00:50,738 --> 00:00:52,658 I haven't met him. 25 00:00:52,740 --> 00:00:55,040 But Tina spending Sundays at church 26 00:00:55,117 --> 00:00:57,997 lets this dude be down with the NFL. 27 00:00:58,078 --> 00:01:00,288 (chuckles) And if that's not the Lord's work, 28 00:01:00,372 --> 00:01:02,662 I don't know what is. 29 00:01:02,750 --> 00:01:04,460 (indistinct chatter, laughter) 30 00:01:04,543 --> 00:01:05,663 Oh. 31 00:01:05,753 --> 00:01:06,873 Hey, guys. 32 00:01:06,962 --> 00:01:08,582 This is Pastor Don. 33 00:01:08,672 --> 00:01:11,542 Pastor Don, this is my lovely husband, Calvin, 34 00:01:11,634 --> 00:01:13,054 our neighbor Dave and his son Grover. 35 00:01:13,135 --> 00:01:14,515 Hi. How are you? 36 00:01:14,595 --> 00:01:15,845 It's nice to meet you all. 37 00:01:15,930 --> 00:01:18,190 So, uh... 38 00:01:18,265 --> 00:01:21,515 what brings you by, Pastor, 39 00:01:21,602 --> 00:01:24,932 just before the late game starts? 40 00:01:25,022 --> 00:01:27,692 Well, I invited him to join us for Sunday dinner. 41 00:01:27,775 --> 00:01:29,485 (turns off TV) 42 00:01:29,568 --> 00:01:31,988 Whoa, whoa, Tina, what are you doing? 43 00:01:32,071 --> 00:01:34,531 I didn't invite the pastor over here to watch football. 44 00:01:34,615 --> 00:01:36,495 I brought him here to get to know us better. 45 00:01:36,575 --> 00:01:39,535 Well, let me start by letting you know 46 00:01:39,620 --> 00:01:43,170 how much I love football. 47 00:01:43,249 --> 00:01:45,549 (chuckles) Calvin. 48 00:01:46,794 --> 00:01:47,504 Fine. 49 00:01:47,586 --> 00:01:49,216 (turns off TV) 50 00:01:49,296 --> 00:01:50,966 That's the same face the kicker made. 51 00:01:52,967 --> 00:01:54,847 ♪ Welcome to the block, welcome to the neighborhood ♪ 52 00:01:54,927 --> 00:01:55,927 ♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪ 53 00:02:01,100 --> 00:02:02,730 So, Pastor Don, congratulations 54 00:02:02,810 --> 00:02:04,190 on your new job. 55 00:02:04,270 --> 00:02:05,230 Or should I say... 56 00:02:05,312 --> 00:02:06,772 "Job." 57 00:02:09,525 --> 00:02:10,445 So, uh, 58 00:02:10,526 --> 00:02:13,576 blasphemy's okay, but I can't watch football? 59 00:02:15,281 --> 00:02:17,071 You know, the truth is, I-I don't have the job yet. 60 00:02:17,158 --> 00:02:17,998 I'm still on a trial run. 61 00:02:19,451 --> 00:02:21,281 All right, everyone, dinner is served. 62 00:02:21,370 --> 00:02:24,750 All right. You know, if we cut down on the chitchat, 63 00:02:24,832 --> 00:02:27,122 we can be done by halftime. 64 00:02:27,209 --> 00:02:30,259 (chuckles) Okay, so, Pastor, why don't you sit here 65 00:02:30,337 --> 00:02:32,177 at the head of the table? Right, Calvin? 66 00:02:35,217 --> 00:02:37,677 Of course. 67 00:02:37,761 --> 00:02:39,671 Well, here, take my seat. I left it nice and warm for you. 68 00:02:42,641 --> 00:02:44,761 Okay, so, Pastor Don, 69 00:02:44,852 --> 00:02:46,602 would you do the honor of saying grace? 70 00:02:46,687 --> 00:02:48,357 My pleasure. 71 00:02:50,024 --> 00:02:52,024 Father God, we ask that you bless this meal, 72 00:02:52,109 --> 00:02:53,659 everyone here, 73 00:02:53,736 --> 00:02:55,446 and especially bless 74 00:02:55,529 --> 00:02:56,739 Sister Tina, 75 00:02:56,822 --> 00:02:58,072 the one who made it. 76 00:03:02,870 --> 00:03:05,170 Can you throw in something about my spelling test tomorrow? 77 00:03:05,247 --> 00:03:07,087 (laughing) 78 00:03:07,166 --> 00:03:08,496 Grover. 79 00:03:08,584 --> 00:03:10,294 No, it's okay. I like the boy's spirit. 80 00:03:10,377 --> 00:03:11,967 Hey, you all should join us at church on Sunday. 81 00:03:12,046 --> 00:03:13,296 We'd love to! 82 00:03:13,380 --> 00:03:14,970 Ooh, I've always wanted to wear 83 00:03:15,049 --> 00:03:17,059 one of those big fancy church hats. 84 00:03:17,134 --> 00:03:19,174 And now I finally have a big fancy chance. 85 00:03:21,388 --> 00:03:22,978 Ah, look at that, table neighbor. 86 00:03:23,057 --> 00:03:25,977 The Lord just keeps bringing us together. 87 00:03:26,060 --> 00:03:28,150 God is good. 88 00:03:29,563 --> 00:03:31,483 Yes, He is. 89 00:03:31,565 --> 00:03:33,945 No matter what Sister Rose said about Him at Bible study. 90 00:03:34,026 --> 00:03:35,446 (Tina and Pastor Don laugh) 91 00:03:35,527 --> 00:03:37,197 Hey, what-what'd she say? 92 00:03:38,739 --> 00:03:39,829 Oh, it's a long story. 93 00:03:39,907 --> 00:03:41,497 You had to be there. 94 00:03:41,575 --> 00:03:44,205 But your comeback was hilarious. 95 00:03:44,286 --> 00:03:45,956 (laughing) 96 00:03:46,038 --> 00:03:47,788 Wha... What was your comeback? 97 00:03:47,873 --> 00:03:50,333 (laughs): Oh... 98 00:03:50,417 --> 00:03:52,257 Baby, you had to be there for that, too. 99 00:03:54,046 --> 00:03:55,506 Well, I'm glad I was. 100 00:03:55,589 --> 00:03:57,509 Sister Rose was so embarrassed, 101 00:03:57,591 --> 00:03:59,341 she pretended she was speaking in tongues. 102 00:04:00,761 --> 00:04:02,221 That... that's funny. 103 00:04:02,304 --> 00:04:04,514 You know what it reminds me of, 104 00:04:04,598 --> 00:04:06,598 is last week in the supermarket when the checkout guy said, 105 00:04:06,684 --> 00:04:08,304 "ketchup sauce." 106 00:04:08,394 --> 00:04:10,064 (laughing): Remember that, Tina? 107 00:04:10,145 --> 00:04:11,315 Uh-huh. That was funny, too. 108 00:04:13,816 --> 00:04:15,486 (laughs): Man, I wish I was there. 109 00:04:15,567 --> 00:04:17,027 Ah, "ketchup sauce." 110 00:04:17,111 --> 00:04:19,111 That sounds hysterical. 111 00:04:20,948 --> 00:04:23,038 You know, you all have such a lovely home. 112 00:04:23,117 --> 00:04:25,367 How would you feel about hosting Bible study here 113 00:04:25,452 --> 00:04:26,742 this Thursday night? 114 00:04:26,829 --> 00:04:28,959 We'd love to! 115 00:04:30,666 --> 00:04:33,126 Yeah. I mean, yeah, we would. Yeah. 116 00:04:37,464 --> 00:04:39,214 Oh-ho-ho! 117 00:04:39,299 --> 00:04:41,559 Ha-ha! 118 00:04:41,635 --> 00:04:44,555 It's like you knew I was gonna do a fake punt. 119 00:04:44,638 --> 00:04:48,518 You literally just said, "Watch this fake punt." 120 00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:51,230 I was talking to my team. Quit listening to my huddle! 121 00:04:53,022 --> 00:04:54,232 (loud thumping) 122 00:04:54,314 --> 00:04:55,604 Uh, what was that? 123 00:04:55,691 --> 00:04:56,981 That's my new upstairs neighbor. 124 00:04:57,067 --> 00:04:58,237 (thumping continues) 125 00:04:58,319 --> 00:05:00,199 Man, that has got to be annoying. 126 00:05:00,279 --> 00:05:01,579 Yeah, that's not all. 127 00:05:01,655 --> 00:05:03,535 Yesterday he parked his pickup truck 128 00:05:03,615 --> 00:05:06,035 so close to my car, I had to climb out through the trunk. 129 00:05:06,118 --> 00:05:08,038 Oh, man. Wait, do you have security cameras 130 00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:10,920 in your garage? 131 00:05:10,998 --> 00:05:13,588 No. So I can watch you squeeze your nerdy ass out of that trunk. 132 00:05:13,667 --> 00:05:15,297 (laughing) 133 00:05:16,962 --> 00:05:18,082 Hey, Calvin. 134 00:05:18,172 --> 00:05:19,922 Oh, hey, Gemma. 135 00:05:20,007 --> 00:05:22,757 It was so nice getting to know Pastor Don last night. 136 00:05:22,843 --> 00:05:24,593 He's very charming. 137 00:05:24,678 --> 00:05:25,848 Yeah, he's fine. 138 00:05:27,598 --> 00:05:30,808 Uh-oh. That's the same "fine" Dave's mom gave me 139 00:05:30,893 --> 00:05:34,313 when I asked her how I looked in my wedding dress. 140 00:05:34,396 --> 00:05:37,356 You know, I just don't like how chummy he is with Tina. 141 00:05:37,441 --> 00:05:39,811 Did you see him hold her hand at dinner? 142 00:05:39,902 --> 00:05:42,322 Calvin, we were saying grace. 143 00:05:42,404 --> 00:05:44,944 Well, did you see what he did after dinner? 144 00:05:45,032 --> 00:05:47,952 What kind of pastor drinks scotch? 145 00:05:48,035 --> 00:05:50,115 You offered it to him. 146 00:05:50,204 --> 00:05:52,494 As a test-- which he failed. 147 00:05:54,374 --> 00:05:55,624 I don't know, 148 00:05:55,709 --> 00:05:57,629 this guy's up to no good. 149 00:05:57,711 --> 00:05:59,961 Well, to be honest, I know how you feel. 150 00:06:00,047 --> 00:06:02,007 You do? 151 00:06:02,091 --> 00:06:04,171 Women are always throwing themselves at Dave. 152 00:06:06,095 --> 00:06:08,345 Did you date another Dave before this one? 153 00:06:10,557 --> 00:06:13,857 I'm just saying, if your gut's telling you something, trust it. 154 00:06:13,936 --> 00:06:15,146 Yeah, you're right. 155 00:06:15,229 --> 00:06:17,649 I need to keep an eye on him. 156 00:06:17,731 --> 00:06:20,271 Hmm. It's not easy, but it's the price we pay 157 00:06:20,359 --> 00:06:22,319 for falling in love with hotties. 158 00:06:24,404 --> 00:06:26,284 All right. 159 00:06:26,365 --> 00:06:29,155 Now, if I can trap him into taking my bishop, 160 00:06:29,243 --> 00:06:31,323 I can take his queen. 161 00:06:31,411 --> 00:06:33,701 Ha! Now you're talking to yourself. 162 00:06:35,207 --> 00:06:36,497 Actually, I was talking to you. 163 00:06:36,583 --> 00:06:38,663 Ha. Checkmate. 164 00:06:38,752 --> 00:06:40,672 (chuckles) 165 00:06:40,754 --> 00:06:42,334 (loud thumping) 166 00:06:42,422 --> 00:06:44,502 you haven't taken care of this cowboy yet? 167 00:06:44,591 --> 00:06:46,001 I sure did. I confronted the guy 168 00:06:46,093 --> 00:06:47,173 and told him what's what. 169 00:06:47,261 --> 00:06:49,551 Oh, you did? 170 00:06:49,638 --> 00:06:51,638 Via a friendly note I slid under his door. 171 00:06:51,723 --> 00:06:53,343 But I think 172 00:06:53,433 --> 00:06:56,813 the Starbucks gift card sent quite a message. 173 00:06:56,895 --> 00:06:59,525 Marty, you have backed down from stuff your whole life. 174 00:06:59,606 --> 00:07:02,026 Remember your first day at USC when one of your professors 175 00:07:02,109 --> 00:07:04,199 called you Morty, and you never corrected him? 176 00:07:04,278 --> 00:07:05,738 It wasn't that big a deal. 177 00:07:05,821 --> 00:07:07,481 Your diploma says Morton Butler! 178 00:07:09,658 --> 00:07:11,248 (thumping continues) 179 00:07:16,456 --> 00:07:17,876 Okay, Marty, I could go upstairs 180 00:07:17,958 --> 00:07:19,508 and take care of this for your sorry ass. 181 00:07:19,585 --> 00:07:22,585 Yes, that'd be great. 182 00:07:22,671 --> 00:07:23,711 Come on, little bro, 183 00:07:23,797 --> 00:07:25,677 you can't keep running from your problems forever. 184 00:07:25,757 --> 00:07:28,757 Think about it-- what would Yoda tell you to do? 185 00:07:28,844 --> 00:07:31,264 (sighs) I guess he'd say... 186 00:07:31,346 --> 00:07:33,476 (imitating Yoda): Confront him, you should. 187 00:07:34,474 --> 00:07:35,604 Exactly. 188 00:07:35,684 --> 00:07:37,764 Then why are you still standing here? 189 00:07:37,853 --> 00:07:39,853 Because stalling, I am. 190 00:07:44,526 --> 00:07:46,366 All right, everyone, let's dig in and see 191 00:07:46,445 --> 00:07:48,615 what the Lord has to say about helping those in need. 192 00:07:48,697 --> 00:07:50,537 But first, what I need is another piece 193 00:07:50,616 --> 00:07:53,076 of Sister Tina's delicious peach cobbler. 194 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:54,750 Aw. Thank you, Pastor. 195 00:07:54,828 --> 00:07:57,078 Ask and you shall receive. 196 00:07:57,164 --> 00:07:59,244 (chuckles): Oh, thank you. 197 00:07:59,333 --> 00:08:02,083 Hey, everybody. Sorry I'm late. 198 00:08:02,169 --> 00:08:03,759 Oh, baby, what are you doing here? 199 00:08:03,837 --> 00:08:05,087 I thought you were playing poker with the guys. 200 00:08:05,172 --> 00:08:06,922 I changed my mind. 201 00:08:07,007 --> 00:08:09,807 Tonight I'm betting it all on God. 202 00:08:09,885 --> 00:08:11,805 (chuckles) Well, Brother Calvin, 203 00:08:11,887 --> 00:08:13,597 you came to the right place. 204 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:16,440 And you're sitting in the wrong one. Okay, come on. 205 00:08:16,516 --> 00:08:17,686 Oh. Sorry. 206 00:08:19,686 --> 00:08:22,526 Now, to quote Jesus after he rose from the dead: 207 00:08:22,606 --> 00:08:24,276 "What'd I miss?" 208 00:08:32,366 --> 00:08:35,116 I want to thank you both so much for hosting tonight. 209 00:08:35,202 --> 00:08:36,612 No. Thank you. 210 00:08:36,703 --> 00:08:38,623 Your words were so inspiring. 211 00:08:38,705 --> 00:08:40,625 Good stuff, now. All right. 212 00:08:42,542 --> 00:08:44,002 Thank you, Brother Calvin. 213 00:08:44,086 --> 00:08:45,586 Sister Tina, I'll see you Sunday morning. 214 00:08:45,671 --> 00:08:47,121 Ooh, she'll be there. 215 00:08:47,214 --> 00:08:49,754 My wife-- 30 years, two kids! 216 00:08:51,009 --> 00:08:52,269 Hmm. 217 00:08:52,344 --> 00:08:54,474 We might even have another one! 218 00:08:56,431 --> 00:08:58,181 Calvin, what is wrong with you? 219 00:08:58,267 --> 00:09:00,817 You were acting so weird during Bible study. 220 00:09:00,894 --> 00:09:02,644 Weird how? 221 00:09:02,729 --> 00:09:05,609 Well, first of all, you were at Bible study. 222 00:09:07,401 --> 00:09:09,361 All right, you want to know the truth? 223 00:09:09,444 --> 00:09:11,324 I don't like this Pastor Don guy. 224 00:09:11,405 --> 00:09:14,155 You know, I think he got his eyes on you. 225 00:09:14,241 --> 00:09:15,991 (scoffs) Oh, please, Calvin. 226 00:09:16,076 --> 00:09:17,826 He's just trying to butter me up 227 00:09:17,911 --> 00:09:19,161 because I'm on the selection committee. 228 00:09:19,246 --> 00:09:22,206 Nah, Tina. It's more than that. 229 00:09:22,291 --> 00:09:23,951 This guy's a snake in our garden, 230 00:09:24,042 --> 00:09:27,542 and he's trying to take a bite of your apple. 231 00:09:27,629 --> 00:09:31,009 You said that about our dry cleaner, 232 00:09:31,091 --> 00:09:32,881 the guy at the gas station, 233 00:09:32,968 --> 00:09:34,638 and our dentist. 234 00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:38,100 Well, he never told me I had a beautiful smile. 235 00:09:40,058 --> 00:09:42,688 You know, Calvin, I don't have time for this, all right? 236 00:09:42,769 --> 00:09:45,029 And for your information, our dentist is gay. 237 00:09:46,815 --> 00:09:48,895 His husband thinks you have a beautiful smile. 238 00:09:50,777 --> 00:09:53,367 You got this, okay? You are the man, 239 00:09:53,447 --> 00:09:55,697 and you are about to shut this chump down. 240 00:09:58,452 --> 00:10:00,322 (singsongy): Hello? 241 00:10:02,998 --> 00:10:04,998 Hello. 242 00:10:05,083 --> 00:10:06,333 Oh. Uh... 243 00:10:07,502 --> 00:10:09,212 H-Hi. Hi. 244 00:10:09,296 --> 00:10:10,756 I-I-I'm... 245 00:10:10,839 --> 00:10:12,179 I'm-I'm Morton. I mean Morty. 246 00:10:12,257 --> 00:10:14,557 I-I mean, I am, um, 247 00:10:14,634 --> 00:10:16,594 Marty, your downstairs neighbor. 248 00:10:16,678 --> 00:10:18,058 I'm Keira. 249 00:10:18,138 --> 00:10:19,598 Oh. 250 00:10:19,681 --> 00:10:21,431 You're the guy who left me that gift card. 251 00:10:21,516 --> 00:10:23,016 That was so thoughtful. 252 00:10:23,101 --> 00:10:24,931 Oh, it's no big deal. You know, I would do it 253 00:10:25,020 --> 00:10:26,230 for anyone who was on top of me. 254 00:10:26,313 --> 00:10:27,563 I mean, uh, 255 00:10:27,647 --> 00:10:29,197 I mean, under-underneath you. I mean... 256 00:10:29,274 --> 00:10:31,194 Ah... welcome to the building. 257 00:10:31,276 --> 00:10:32,406 (laughs) 258 00:10:32,486 --> 00:10:34,446 Thanks. 259 00:10:34,529 --> 00:10:35,909 Hey, uh, actually, 260 00:10:35,989 --> 00:10:37,579 if it's not too weird, would you mind 261 00:10:37,657 --> 00:10:38,497 helping me with something? 262 00:10:38,575 --> 00:10:39,705 What? Are you kidding? 263 00:10:39,785 --> 00:10:41,245 If it's weird, I'm into it. 264 00:10:41,328 --> 00:10:42,788 I mean, uh, 265 00:10:42,871 --> 00:10:46,621 uh, I would be... I'd be happy to help. 266 00:10:46,708 --> 00:10:49,258 I've been trying to move furniture by myself. 267 00:10:49,336 --> 00:10:51,046 Sorry if I was a little loud. 268 00:10:51,129 --> 00:10:53,049 Oh, not at all. In fact, it was so quiet, 269 00:10:53,131 --> 00:10:54,791 I thought maybe a mouse had moved in. 270 00:10:54,883 --> 00:10:57,093 Are you calling me short? 271 00:10:57,177 --> 00:10:59,767 What? No! No, I didn't even notice your body. 272 00:10:59,846 --> 00:11:01,476 Well, I mean, I noticed your body. 273 00:11:01,556 --> 00:11:03,476 (chuckles) 274 00:11:03,558 --> 00:11:04,768 So, you needed some help with something? 275 00:11:04,851 --> 00:11:06,391 Yeah. 276 00:11:06,478 --> 00:11:08,398 Can you help me slide this couch against the wall? 277 00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:09,940 It's too heavy to lift. 278 00:11:10,023 --> 00:11:11,273 Maybe it's too heavy for you, but... 279 00:11:11,358 --> 00:11:12,408 Also for me. 280 00:11:12,484 --> 00:11:13,984 (screams) 281 00:11:14,069 --> 00:11:17,239 (muffled screaming) 282 00:11:17,322 --> 00:11:19,782 Oh! I'm coming, baby bro, I'm coming! 283 00:11:19,866 --> 00:11:21,456 But I'm coming strapped! 284 00:11:24,204 --> 00:11:27,244 ♪ I'm gonna lay down my burden ♪ 285 00:11:27,332 --> 00:11:29,412 ♪ Down by the riverside... ♪ 286 00:11:29,501 --> 00:11:31,121 What are you doing? 287 00:11:31,211 --> 00:11:32,791 I'm prepping for church with Calvin and Tina. 288 00:11:32,879 --> 00:11:34,139 ♪ Down by the riverside... ♪ 289 00:11:34,214 --> 00:11:36,294 Why? 290 00:11:36,383 --> 00:11:38,463 Well, because it's gonna be different 291 00:11:38,552 --> 00:11:40,422 from the church that we go to, 292 00:11:40,512 --> 00:11:41,972 and I want to be respectful. 293 00:11:42,055 --> 00:11:44,305 Which is why I watched a bunch of YouTube videos, 294 00:11:44,391 --> 00:11:47,891 Sister Act, and eight Madea movies. 295 00:11:48,895 --> 00:11:50,645 Whoa! 296 00:11:50,730 --> 00:11:53,990 Are you gonna do backflips down the aisle like that nun? 297 00:11:56,069 --> 00:11:57,989 (chuckles) Grover, don't be silly. 298 00:11:58,071 --> 00:12:00,151 She's 80. I'm gonna get way more air than her. 299 00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:03,120 (knock on door) 300 00:12:05,412 --> 00:12:06,702 Oh, hey, Calvin. 301 00:12:06,788 --> 00:12:08,628 Hey. Dave, is Gemma here? 302 00:12:08,707 --> 00:12:10,837 I need her to talk some sense into Tina. 303 00:12:10,917 --> 00:12:13,337 Actually, she's at a PTA meeting. What's going on? 304 00:12:13,420 --> 00:12:17,140 I'm pretty sure that Pastor Don is making moves on Tina. 305 00:12:17,215 --> 00:12:18,545 What? 306 00:12:18,633 --> 00:12:20,003 Did something happen? 307 00:12:20,093 --> 00:12:22,213 I mean, not exactly, 308 00:12:22,304 --> 00:12:25,764 but he's made excuses to see her every night this week. 309 00:12:25,849 --> 00:12:28,559 "Let's go visit the elderly." 310 00:12:30,896 --> 00:12:33,606 "Oh, come help me feed the homeless." 311 00:12:35,025 --> 00:12:37,695 I'm telling you, he's a bad dude. 312 00:12:37,777 --> 00:12:39,617 Okay. 313 00:12:39,696 --> 00:12:43,536 Uh, or is it possible what you're actually upset about 314 00:12:43,617 --> 00:12:45,707 is that Pastor Don is connecting with Tina 315 00:12:45,785 --> 00:12:47,325 in a way that you're not? 316 00:12:47,412 --> 00:12:49,372 (scoffs) That's crazy. 317 00:12:49,456 --> 00:12:53,666 Is it? Look, Tina's church life is obviously important to her, 318 00:12:53,752 --> 00:12:56,212 and maybe Pastor Don is just filling a void 319 00:12:56,296 --> 00:12:57,756 that you choose not to. 320 00:12:59,007 --> 00:13:00,347 I don't know. 321 00:13:00,425 --> 00:13:01,845 Maybe. 322 00:13:03,136 --> 00:13:04,596 Remember, Calvin. 323 00:13:04,679 --> 00:13:06,939 "Don't judge or you will be judged." 324 00:13:08,141 --> 00:13:09,891 Wow, Dave. 325 00:13:09,976 --> 00:13:11,856 I didn't know you knew scripture so well. 326 00:13:11,937 --> 00:13:14,687 Actually, I-I got that from Whoopi Goldberg. 327 00:13:17,651 --> 00:13:19,611 I'm so sorry. 328 00:13:19,694 --> 00:13:21,904 Is your foot okay? 329 00:13:21,988 --> 00:13:23,288 Pinky toes are totally cosmetic. (chuckles) 330 00:13:23,365 --> 00:13:25,535 (pounding on door) 331 00:13:25,617 --> 00:13:28,707 Get your damn hands off my brother, you... 332 00:13:30,622 --> 00:13:32,742 ...surprisingly tiny lady. 333 00:13:32,832 --> 00:13:35,452 Uh, Keira, this is 334 00:13:35,544 --> 00:13:37,584 my brother, Malcolm. Malcolm, this is Keira. 335 00:13:37,671 --> 00:13:39,251 (chuckles): Hey. Oh, 336 00:13:39,339 --> 00:13:40,429 so you're the one who's... 337 00:13:40,507 --> 00:13:43,007 Drives the really cool truck I've been telling you about. 338 00:13:45,011 --> 00:13:45,921 Nice to meet you. 339 00:13:46,012 --> 00:13:47,052 What's with the rocket? 340 00:13:47,138 --> 00:13:49,768 Oh. Um, it's a, uh... 341 00:13:49,849 --> 00:13:52,399 a housewarming gift. (chuckles) 342 00:13:52,477 --> 00:13:54,107 Right, Marty? 343 00:13:54,187 --> 00:13:55,437 Uh, yep. 344 00:13:55,522 --> 00:13:58,772 Yep. Uh, signed by Buzz Aldrin and everything. 345 00:13:58,858 --> 00:14:01,948 (chuckles) Well, thank you. 346 00:14:02,028 --> 00:14:04,948 Hey, you guys are my first houseguests. 347 00:14:05,031 --> 00:14:07,151 Let me get some beers to celebrate. 348 00:14:07,242 --> 00:14:08,862 (chuckles) 349 00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:12,000 She is cute. 350 00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:14,460 Yeah, I know. Thank you for making me come up here. 351 00:14:14,541 --> 00:14:16,791 Yeah, you see what happens when you stand up for yourself? 352 00:14:16,876 --> 00:14:19,626 (exhales) Yeah, man. In fact, I'm gonna do it now. 353 00:14:19,713 --> 00:14:20,833 Get the hell out of here. 354 00:14:22,549 --> 00:14:23,759 ("I Need Thee Every Hour" playing) 355 00:14:23,842 --> 00:14:28,262 ♪ I need thee ♪ 356 00:14:30,557 --> 00:14:36,227 ♪ Every hour... ♪ 357 00:14:36,313 --> 00:14:39,143 All right, buddy. Now, remember, we're guests here, 358 00:14:39,232 --> 00:14:43,232 so let's be respectful and just try to blend in. 359 00:14:49,909 --> 00:14:52,669 Oh, my God. Look at all these hats. 360 00:14:52,746 --> 00:14:54,666 I knew I shouldn't have gotten the small one. 361 00:14:56,750 --> 00:14:58,420 Okay, I'm warning you, Calvin. 362 00:14:58,501 --> 00:15:01,621 You better not embarrass me in front of Pastor Don. 363 00:15:01,713 --> 00:15:04,383 Don't worry, I won't. 364 00:15:04,466 --> 00:15:06,886 I think maybe I was... 365 00:15:06,968 --> 00:15:08,348 wrong about him. 366 00:15:08,428 --> 00:15:11,848 Wait, did you just admit to being wrong? 367 00:15:11,931 --> 00:15:14,851 Okay, God, a deal's a deal. I'm-a stop cursing. 368 00:15:14,934 --> 00:15:16,894 (chuckles) 369 00:15:16,978 --> 00:15:18,818 Hey, uh, 370 00:15:18,897 --> 00:15:20,357 I'm-a catch up with you in a second. 371 00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:22,740 Okay, baby. 372 00:15:22,817 --> 00:15:24,947 Are the Rams not playing today? 373 00:15:26,738 --> 00:15:29,368 Well, I decided that this was more important. 374 00:15:29,449 --> 00:15:31,249 Plus, it's a night game. 375 00:15:32,285 --> 00:15:33,825 Listen, 376 00:15:33,912 --> 00:15:35,702 I... I just wanted to apologize 377 00:15:35,789 --> 00:15:37,709 about my behavior at Bible study. 378 00:15:37,791 --> 00:15:41,621 The truth is is that I had this crazy idea 379 00:15:41,711 --> 00:15:44,711 that you was making moves on my wife. 380 00:15:44,798 --> 00:15:46,048 You did? 381 00:15:46,132 --> 00:15:48,592 Yeah, you know how us guys can be. 382 00:15:48,677 --> 00:15:50,597 Yeah. 383 00:15:50,679 --> 00:15:52,179 I completely understand. 384 00:15:52,263 --> 00:15:53,723 Thanks, Pastor. 385 00:15:53,807 --> 00:15:56,607 After all, Sister Tina's a very attractive woman. 386 00:15:59,979 --> 00:16:02,239 Excuse me? 387 00:16:02,315 --> 00:16:03,775 As scripture says, 388 00:16:03,858 --> 00:16:07,068 "He who finds a good wife finds a good thing." 389 00:16:07,153 --> 00:16:09,733 Obviously, Tina's a good wife, 390 00:16:09,823 --> 00:16:12,653 but I'm more interested in the bad ones. 391 00:16:19,165 --> 00:16:21,705 You heard that, right? 392 00:16:24,963 --> 00:16:27,753 (vocalizing) 393 00:16:27,841 --> 00:16:31,051 ♪ Bless ♪ 394 00:16:31,136 --> 00:16:33,596 ♪ Me now ♪ 395 00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:38,900 ♪ My savior... ♪ 396 00:16:38,977 --> 00:16:41,357 (muttering) 397 00:16:41,438 --> 00:16:42,898 Calvin. 398 00:16:42,981 --> 00:16:44,641 What is wrong with you? 399 00:16:44,733 --> 00:16:46,313 I'm talking to God. 400 00:16:46,401 --> 00:16:47,771 I got a complaint about one 401 00:16:47,861 --> 00:16:50,111 of his employees. 402 00:16:50,196 --> 00:16:53,116 ♪ To ♪ 403 00:16:53,199 --> 00:16:57,459 ♪ Thee. ♪ 404 00:16:59,372 --> 00:17:00,122 Good morning, church. 405 00:17:00,206 --> 00:17:02,546 Morning. 406 00:17:04,878 --> 00:17:07,298 Today's message comes from the Book of Revelations. 407 00:17:07,380 --> 00:17:08,720 You got that right. 408 00:17:10,508 --> 00:17:14,638 Now, everyone in here knows that God sees everything. 409 00:17:14,721 --> 00:17:16,931 CONGREGATION: Mm-hmm. Amen. 410 00:17:20,185 --> 00:17:23,315 Which is why we must stay vigilant against temptation. 411 00:17:23,396 --> 00:17:24,646 That's right. 412 00:17:24,731 --> 00:17:28,351 Walk the righteous path and cast out 413 00:17:28,443 --> 00:17:29,813 those who lead us astray. 414 00:17:29,903 --> 00:17:31,773 No way. I heard enough. 415 00:17:31,863 --> 00:17:33,233 I need to testify. 416 00:17:34,574 --> 00:17:35,944 Let Him use you, Calvin! 417 00:17:40,747 --> 00:17:43,337 Brother Calvin, I appreciate your enthusiasm, 418 00:17:43,416 --> 00:17:46,086 but we normally don't testify until the end of the service. 419 00:17:46,169 --> 00:17:48,379 Yeah, well, today is different, 420 00:17:48,463 --> 00:17:51,843 'cause there is a devil among us. 421 00:17:53,384 --> 00:17:55,054 Thank you, Brother Calvin. 422 00:17:55,136 --> 00:17:57,426 We'll look into that. Now, if you open your Bibles to... 423 00:17:57,514 --> 00:17:59,184 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm not done. 424 00:18:00,767 --> 00:18:03,857 We are in the presence of a false prophet. 425 00:18:03,937 --> 00:18:07,067 A wolf in sheep's clothing. 426 00:18:07,148 --> 00:18:11,318 A man who covets other men's wives. 427 00:18:11,402 --> 00:18:13,362 And I know that commandment is important 428 00:18:13,446 --> 00:18:15,576 'cause it made the top ten list. 429 00:18:17,617 --> 00:18:20,287 And that man's name... 430 00:18:24,249 --> 00:18:25,589 ...is Pastor Don. 431 00:18:25,667 --> 00:18:27,207 (congregation gasps) 432 00:18:27,293 --> 00:18:29,713 Let your light shine, Calvin! 433 00:18:32,966 --> 00:18:34,596 Did you watch Sister Act again? 434 00:18:34,676 --> 00:18:37,976 If loving Whoopi is wrong, I don't want to be right. 435 00:18:39,973 --> 00:18:41,093 Forgive Brother Calvin. 436 00:18:41,182 --> 00:18:42,722 He knows not what he says. 437 00:18:42,809 --> 00:18:45,019 I'm a man of deep faith 438 00:18:45,103 --> 00:18:47,813 who respects the sanctity of marriage. I would never... 439 00:18:47,897 --> 00:18:49,607 Hold up! 440 00:18:49,691 --> 00:18:51,231 You got other women on the side? 441 00:18:53,152 --> 00:18:56,442 You told me I was the only woman you were checking for. 442 00:18:57,949 --> 00:19:01,079 Oh, so you just laying hands on everybody? 443 00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:03,080 Uh... 444 00:19:04,706 --> 00:19:06,416 Unless you ready to meet the Lord, 445 00:19:06,499 --> 00:19:08,169 I suggest you get out of here right now. 446 00:19:08,251 --> 00:19:10,291 Because, uh, this ain't the first fight 447 00:19:10,378 --> 00:19:12,218 Wanda's had at church. 448 00:19:12,297 --> 00:19:14,257 I-I'm-a... I'm-a... 449 00:19:14,340 --> 00:19:16,430 (chuckles): Oh-ho. 450 00:19:16,509 --> 00:19:18,559 Uh-oh! 451 00:19:18,636 --> 00:19:21,056 Only God can save him now. 452 00:19:21,139 --> 00:19:22,809 CONGREGATION: Amen. 453 00:19:29,022 --> 00:19:30,482 ♪ Victory is mine ♪ 454 00:19:30,565 --> 00:19:32,735 ♪ Victory is mine ♪ 455 00:19:32,817 --> 00:19:36,617 ♪ Victory today is mine ♪ 456 00:19:36,696 --> 00:19:38,116 ♪ I told Satan... ♪ 457 00:19:38,197 --> 00:19:41,037 This church is awesome. 458 00:19:41,117 --> 00:19:43,117 As soon as we get home, I'm going hat shopping. 459 00:19:43,203 --> 00:19:44,873 And this time, 460 00:19:44,954 --> 00:19:47,124 I'm going big. 461 00:19:47,206 --> 00:19:50,416 Speaking of going big, give me some room. 462 00:19:50,501 --> 00:19:51,961 It's backflipping time. 463 00:19:52,045 --> 00:19:54,375 Uh... Oh. 464 00:19:54,464 --> 00:19:56,464 Babe, you doing okay? 465 00:19:56,549 --> 00:19:58,009 Are you kidding? 466 00:19:58,092 --> 00:19:59,802 Look at all of these good people 467 00:19:59,886 --> 00:20:01,136 rejoicing in the Lord, Calvin. 468 00:20:01,220 --> 00:20:03,270 That is church. 469 00:20:03,348 --> 00:20:05,648 (chuckles) 470 00:20:05,725 --> 00:20:08,015 Hey, you got to admit, though. 471 00:20:08,102 --> 00:20:10,642 I was the only one that knew that Pastor Don was a snake. 472 00:20:10,730 --> 00:20:12,860 Baby, you sure were. 473 00:20:12,941 --> 00:20:14,851 Which is why you're the newest member 474 00:20:14,943 --> 00:20:16,523 of our pastor selection committee. 475 00:20:16,611 --> 00:20:18,481 Yeah. 476 00:20:18,571 --> 00:20:21,691 Huh? 477 00:20:21,783 --> 00:20:23,533 (chuckles) 478 00:20:23,618 --> 00:20:25,538 Those are all my football days. 479 00:20:25,620 --> 00:20:27,170 Take it up with God. 480 00:20:27,246 --> 00:20:28,996 ♪ Victory ♪ 481 00:20:29,082 --> 00:20:31,252 ♪ Today is mine ♪ 482 00:20:31,334 --> 00:20:33,624 (loud crashing) 483 00:20:33,711 --> 00:20:35,461 Oh! Oh! 484 00:20:38,716 --> 00:20:41,846 It's okay. I'm all... I'm all right. 485 00:20:41,928 --> 00:20:44,138 The drums broke my fall. 486 00:20:44,222 --> 00:20:45,842 ("Victory Is Mine" playing) 487 00:20:45,932 --> 00:20:47,512 ♪ Victory is mine ♪ 488 00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:50,360 ♪ Victory is mine ♪ 489 00:20:50,436 --> 00:20:54,696 ♪ Victory today is mine. ♪ 490 00:20:59,737 --> 00:21:02,867 Captioning sponsored by CBS 491 00:21:02,949 --> 00:21:05,579 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org