1 00:00:07,898 --> 00:00:09,338 [knocking] 2 00:00:13,382 --> 00:00:14,732 Oh, hey, Calvin. What's up? 3 00:00:14,774 --> 00:00:17,084 Hey, can I borrow some milk for my cereal? 4 00:00:17,125 --> 00:00:19,215 Malcolm used up all of ours. 5 00:00:19,257 --> 00:00:20,777 But your bowl's empty. 6 00:00:20,824 --> 00:00:22,954 Yeah, he finished all the cereal, too. 7 00:00:23,957 --> 00:00:26,357 Do you have anything that's magically delicious? 8 00:00:27,874 --> 00:00:30,484 Yeah, sure. Let me get you some of Grover's good stuff. 9 00:00:30,529 --> 00:00:32,139 You want the sugar-free quinoa flakes 10 00:00:32,183 --> 00:00:34,403 or the date-sweetened fiber puffs? 11 00:00:35,447 --> 00:00:36,967 I'll take a banana. 12 00:00:38,146 --> 00:00:40,106 Oh, yeah, L.A. is way different 13 00:00:40,148 --> 00:00:41,938 than Hickory Corners-- it's always sunny, 14 00:00:41,975 --> 00:00:44,025 there's tons of culture, 15 00:00:44,065 --> 00:00:47,765 and nobody grocery shops shirtless. 16 00:00:47,807 --> 00:00:49,807 [quietly]: Honey, who is that?My sister. 17 00:00:49,853 --> 00:00:51,503 Brittany? 18 00:00:51,550 --> 00:00:53,300 Do not give her money, 19 00:00:53,335 --> 00:00:55,165 and do not invite her here. 20 00:00:55,206 --> 00:00:57,336 Of course! We'd love for you to visit. 21 00:00:57,382 --> 00:00:59,292 No! N... 22 00:00:59,341 --> 00:01:00,771 [loudly]: Hey, uh, Gemma, 23 00:01:00,820 --> 00:01:02,960 did you read this article on California earthquakes? 24 00:01:02,996 --> 00:01:05,996 They say the big one is coming any day now. 25 00:01:07,349 --> 00:01:09,089 [loudly]: I wouldn't worry about that. 26 00:01:10,178 --> 00:01:12,268 I've lived in California my whole life. 27 00:01:12,310 --> 00:01:14,620 Never been hurt in an earthquake. 28 00:01:14,660 --> 00:01:16,140 [quietly]: What are you doing? 29 00:01:16,184 --> 00:01:17,884 That's for your sucky cereal. 30 00:01:19,056 --> 00:01:21,846 All right, well, love you, too. Bye. 31 00:01:21,885 --> 00:01:23,975 Wow, Dave, there's actually someone out there 32 00:01:24,017 --> 00:01:25,107 you don't like? 33 00:01:25,149 --> 00:01:27,069 What's her secret? 34 00:01:27,108 --> 00:01:29,108 Calvin, you don't understand. 35 00:01:30,589 --> 00:01:32,509 Gemma's sister is a total disaster. 36 00:01:32,548 --> 00:01:34,948 She flakes on everything, nothing's ever her fault, 37 00:01:34,985 --> 00:01:37,905 and the only time we ever hear from her is when she needs something. 38 00:01:37,944 --> 00:01:40,074 That's not true.Oh, yeah? What about the time 39 00:01:40,121 --> 00:01:41,201 she asked you for a kidney? 40 00:01:41,252 --> 00:01:43,512 That's not fair. It wasn't even for her. 41 00:01:44,995 --> 00:01:47,955 O-Okay, okay, so she's still figuring her life out. 42 00:01:47,998 --> 00:01:50,528 But she's got a good heart.Yeah, which she probably 43 00:01:50,566 --> 00:01:52,046 suckered someone into giving her. 44 00:01:53,830 --> 00:01:56,180 You know, she sounds like Tina's cousin Lamar, 45 00:01:56,224 --> 00:01:58,184 who she found out wasn't her cousin, 46 00:01:58,226 --> 00:01:59,796 or named Lamar. 47 00:01:59,836 --> 00:02:01,446 [doorbell rings] 48 00:02:01,490 --> 00:02:03,320 Well, then you know what I'm talking about 49 00:02:03,361 --> 00:02:05,361 and why the last person I want here 50 00:02:05,407 --> 00:02:07,057 is... Oh, Brittany. 51 00:02:07,104 --> 00:02:08,234 Surprise! 52 00:02:08,279 --> 00:02:09,419 Brittany! 53 00:02:09,454 --> 00:02:10,494 Oh, my God! 54 00:02:11,587 --> 00:02:13,027 Forget the banana. 55 00:02:13,066 --> 00:02:16,116 Thisis magically delicious. 56 00:02:16,157 --> 00:02:18,077 ♪ Welcome to the block, welcome to the neighborhood ♪ 57 00:02:18,115 --> 00:02:19,115 ♪ Welcome to the hood. 58 00:02:23,947 --> 00:02:25,997 I can't believe you're really here. 59 00:02:26,036 --> 00:02:27,426 Thought it'd be a fun surprise. 60 00:02:27,472 --> 00:02:30,212 [chuckles] Like when you showed up on our honeymoon. 61 00:02:30,258 --> 00:02:32,218 That was the best two weeks ever. 62 00:02:32,260 --> 00:02:34,270 Thanks again for bailing me out. 63 00:02:35,611 --> 00:02:38,431 Mexican jails are no bueno. 64 00:02:38,483 --> 00:02:41,223 Uh, so, Brittany, what brings you here? 65 00:02:41,269 --> 00:02:44,229 I know it wasn't Greyhound, because they banned you. 66 00:02:44,272 --> 00:02:46,222 I've always wanted to come to California, 67 00:02:46,274 --> 00:02:48,494 and I finally finished dental hygiene school.[gasps] 68 00:02:48,537 --> 00:02:51,667 You graduated? Congratulations! 69 00:02:51,714 --> 00:02:53,064 Oh, no, I didn't say I graduated. 70 00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:54,196 I just stopped going. 71 00:02:56,066 --> 00:02:59,026 Uh, uh, what about the money we gave you for tuition? 72 00:02:59,069 --> 00:03:00,379 Oh, don't worry, I used it, 73 00:03:00,418 --> 00:03:01,898 and I enrolled in a cosmetology course. 74 00:03:01,941 --> 00:03:03,681 Oh, that's great. How's it going? 75 00:03:03,726 --> 00:03:04,816 Oh, I quit that, too. 76 00:03:04,857 --> 00:03:06,947 They wanted me to go four days a week, 77 00:03:06,990 --> 00:03:09,130 and it's, like, I want to be a cosmetologist, 78 00:03:09,166 --> 00:03:10,736 not a doctor. 79 00:03:10,776 --> 00:03:14,126 Okay, well, it was great of you to stop by on your way 80 00:03:14,171 --> 00:03:15,381 to somewhere else. 81 00:03:17,087 --> 00:03:18,527 Actually, I was kind of hoping I could hang here 82 00:03:18,567 --> 00:03:19,957 until I figured out my next move? 83 00:03:20,003 --> 00:03:21,393 Of course. You're my little sister. 84 00:03:21,439 --> 00:03:23,529 You can stay as long as you want. 85 00:03:23,572 --> 00:03:26,222 Cool. So, where am I crashing? 86 00:03:26,270 --> 00:03:28,540 You can sleep in my room. I have bunk beds. 87 00:03:28,577 --> 00:03:30,577 Ha-ha! It'll be like we're cellmates. 88 00:03:33,016 --> 00:03:35,236 [sighs] Hey, Dave. 89 00:03:35,279 --> 00:03:38,199 How's the new roommate working out? 90 00:03:38,239 --> 00:03:41,249 Are you as miserable as I hope? 91 00:03:41,285 --> 00:03:43,245 Even worse. 92 00:03:43,287 --> 00:03:46,157 She has been here one day, and she already broke the oven, 93 00:03:46,203 --> 00:03:48,593 erased our DVR, and this morning... 94 00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:52,260 [sighs] she used my karate gi as a bathrobe. 95 00:03:52,296 --> 00:03:55,736 Dave, you got yourself a freeloader on your hands. 96 00:03:55,778 --> 00:03:58,438 And it's your own fault for putting up with it. 97 00:03:58,476 --> 00:04:00,216 What am I supposed to do? She's Gemma's sister. 98 00:04:00,261 --> 00:04:01,871 Family doesn't get a pass. 99 00:04:01,914 --> 00:04:04,224 I don't care if she was my mama. 100 00:04:04,265 --> 00:04:06,965 Calvin Butler would nip that nonsense in the bud. 101 00:04:07,006 --> 00:04:08,316 Kee-ya! 102 00:04:08,356 --> 00:04:09,396 Ha! 103 00:04:09,444 --> 00:04:11,444 Hey, guys. 104 00:04:11,489 --> 00:04:12,929 Oh, Pop, just a heads-up. 105 00:04:12,969 --> 00:04:14,409 I went over the family data limit, 106 00:04:14,449 --> 00:04:16,459 so the phone bill's gonna be a little bit high. 107 00:04:16,494 --> 00:04:19,844 [chuckles]: Lot of great fights on YouTube this month. 108 00:04:19,889 --> 00:04:22,239 Well, good thing you... 109 00:04:22,283 --> 00:04:24,453 nipped thatnonsense in the bud. 110 00:04:24,502 --> 00:04:26,282 Oh, and, 111 00:04:26,330 --> 00:04:29,120 uh, for the record, it's... 112 00:04:29,159 --> 00:04:30,379 Kee-ya! 113 00:04:36,514 --> 00:04:38,864 Hey, Ma, is it cool if I borrow your car tonight? 114 00:04:38,908 --> 00:04:41,308 Oh, sure, baby. But it's just about out of gas. 115 00:04:41,345 --> 00:04:42,785 Oh, don't worry, I got you. 116 00:04:42,825 --> 00:04:44,395 Where's your gas card? 117 00:04:45,393 --> 00:04:47,303 Hergas card? 118 00:04:47,351 --> 00:04:51,181 You do know they take yourcash? 119 00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:54,444 Yeah, Pop, but then Mom wouldn't get herpoints. 120 00:04:54,489 --> 00:04:56,799 Yeah, Calvin-- why are you trying to take my points? 121 00:04:56,839 --> 00:04:59,189 What are they even for? 122 00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:01,142 I don't know, but they're mine and I want 'em. 123 00:05:01,191 --> 00:05:02,971 Yeah. 124 00:05:03,019 --> 00:05:04,679 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 125 00:05:04,716 --> 00:05:06,026 Uh, what are you doing? 126 00:05:06,065 --> 00:05:07,975 I'm getting a piece of garlic bread. 127 00:05:08,024 --> 00:05:10,194 Yeah, but the middle piece? 128 00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:12,413 That's the one with the best crust-to-butter ratio. 129 00:05:13,421 --> 00:05:15,201 Fine. What's the big deal, man? 130 00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:16,168 It's just bread. 131 00:05:16,206 --> 00:05:17,816 Oh, "it's just bread." 132 00:05:17,860 --> 00:05:20,210 Bread that you didn't buy or that you didn't cook. 133 00:05:21,429 --> 00:05:23,169 Well, Calvin, you didn't cook it, either. 134 00:05:23,213 --> 00:05:25,173 I'm trying to make a point, Tina. 135 00:05:25,215 --> 00:05:27,395 Oh. So now you want your points? 136 00:05:27,435 --> 00:05:29,215 [sighs]: Uh, look... 137 00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:31,262 he's had a job for a while now, 138 00:05:31,308 --> 00:05:33,838 and it's just time for him to stop being a freeloader. 139 00:05:34,659 --> 00:05:36,009 A freeloader? 140 00:05:36,052 --> 00:05:38,572 Yeah. You know, I'm tired of him not chipping in, 141 00:05:38,620 --> 00:05:41,710 so I'm nipping it in the bud right now. Kee-ya! 142 00:05:43,059 --> 00:05:44,329 Calvin, 143 00:05:44,365 --> 00:05:45,405 Malcolm is not a freeloader. 144 00:05:45,453 --> 00:05:47,233 He's just trying to get on his feet. 145 00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:49,160 Well, what he needs to do is go in his wallet 146 00:05:49,195 --> 00:05:50,585 and give me some bread for this bread. 147 00:05:50,632 --> 00:05:52,632 You know what? Fine. 148 00:05:52,677 --> 00:05:54,287 If that's the way you want it. 149 00:05:54,331 --> 00:05:55,981 Look. Here you go. 150 00:05:57,378 --> 00:05:59,428 Five dollars? 151 00:05:59,467 --> 00:06:01,297 That's all I have on me. 152 00:06:01,338 --> 00:06:03,128 Oh. Well, in that case... 153 00:06:04,428 --> 00:06:05,868 Enjoy your salad. 154 00:06:10,303 --> 00:06:11,693 [door opens] 155 00:06:11,740 --> 00:06:14,270 Oh. Hey. I didn't think you were home. 156 00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:15,837 Your car isn't out front. 157 00:06:15,874 --> 00:06:18,264 Oh, yeah. Brittany took it to go get coffee. 158 00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:19,961 You let her borrow your car? 159 00:06:20,009 --> 00:06:21,799 That is so nice. 160 00:06:21,837 --> 00:06:24,317 Oh, I didn't say "borrow." I said "took." 161 00:06:25,536 --> 00:06:28,496 Along with $20 and my favorite sunglasses. 162 00:06:28,539 --> 00:06:30,719 Dave, she's my little sister. 163 00:06:30,759 --> 00:06:31,979 What do you want me to do? 164 00:06:32,021 --> 00:06:35,371 I want you to stop enabling her. 165 00:06:35,416 --> 00:06:37,026 The reason she quits everything that she does 166 00:06:37,069 --> 00:06:39,769 is she knows that you'll be right there to bail her out. 167 00:06:39,811 --> 00:06:42,461 Sometimes literally. 168 00:06:42,510 --> 00:06:44,390 Dave, I'm not enabling here. 169 00:06:44,425 --> 00:06:46,035 I'm being supportive. 170 00:06:46,078 --> 00:06:48,388 Things just don't come as easily to her. 171 00:06:48,429 --> 00:06:49,959 Okay. Well, just so you know, 172 00:06:49,995 --> 00:06:52,215 Grover said her Ouija board spelled out 173 00:06:52,258 --> 00:06:54,308 "lend Brittany money" last night. 174 00:06:57,350 --> 00:06:59,230 Look, it's not like she's staying forever. 175 00:06:59,265 --> 00:07:01,175 We both know in a few days 176 00:07:01,224 --> 00:07:02,574 she'll get bored and take off 177 00:07:02,617 --> 00:07:04,447 right after she asks for a clean urine sample. 178 00:07:06,534 --> 00:07:08,274 Hey, guys. Guess what? 179 00:07:08,318 --> 00:07:09,538 You lost my sunglasses? 180 00:07:09,580 --> 00:07:10,670 Yep, that, too. 181 00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:13,500 What I meant was, I finally figured out 182 00:07:13,541 --> 00:07:15,321 what I'm gonna do with my life. 183 00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:17,509 I'm gonna be an actor. 184 00:07:21,940 --> 00:07:23,860 What? [laughs awkwardly] 185 00:07:23,899 --> 00:07:25,379 I was in the coffee shop 186 00:07:25,422 --> 00:07:26,942 and I was arguing with the barista 187 00:07:26,989 --> 00:07:29,079 of whether or not I brought the tip jar with me, 188 00:07:29,121 --> 00:07:31,161 when... 189 00:07:31,210 --> 00:07:32,960 this talent agent comes up, and he says 190 00:07:32,995 --> 00:07:35,515 he's going to make me... a star. 191 00:07:35,563 --> 00:07:36,733 Oh. 192 00:07:36,781 --> 00:07:38,951 Oh, sweetie, I know that sounds exciting, 193 00:07:39,001 --> 00:07:41,561 but I'm not sure that that's the way it works. 194 00:07:41,612 --> 00:07:43,872 Oh, uh, she's right. It's a scam. 195 00:07:43,919 --> 00:07:46,489 Con artists preying on naive dreamers. 196 00:07:46,530 --> 00:07:48,970 I was devastated. 197 00:07:49,011 --> 00:07:50,921 No, this guy's totally legit. 198 00:07:50,969 --> 00:07:53,539 He already got me an audition for a commercial tomorrow. 199 00:07:53,581 --> 00:07:54,751 Really? 200 00:07:54,799 --> 00:07:56,019 Yeah. [giggles] 201 00:07:56,061 --> 00:07:57,491 So looks like I'm here to stay. 202 00:07:58,586 --> 00:07:59,896 Huh. 203 00:07:59,935 --> 00:08:01,415 You hear that? 204 00:08:01,458 --> 00:08:02,858 She's here to stay. 205 00:08:04,243 --> 00:08:05,543 Whew! 206 00:08:05,593 --> 00:08:08,333 And we are here to be supportive. 207 00:08:10,641 --> 00:08:12,591 BRITTANY: This is so exciting! 208 00:08:12,643 --> 00:08:15,033 I'm gonna go practice my lines up in my room. 209 00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:17,000 Now, that'sa juicy burger. 210 00:08:17,039 --> 00:08:19,569 [affected]: Now, that's a juicy burger! 211 00:08:19,607 --> 00:08:21,397 That's a juicy... 212 00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:23,614 This is a disaster. 213 00:08:23,654 --> 00:08:25,434 Dave, it's not as bad as it seems. 214 00:08:25,482 --> 00:08:28,482 Yes, it is. Those were my sunglasses! 215 00:08:29,704 --> 00:08:30,924 It should've been me! 216 00:08:34,491 --> 00:08:35,921 Oh, that looks tasty. 217 00:08:35,971 --> 00:08:37,401 Salami and cheese? 218 00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:39,590 Oh, yeah, and all the fixings. 219 00:08:39,627 --> 00:08:41,677 Great. That'll be seven bucks. 220 00:08:41,716 --> 00:08:42,896 [chuckles] 221 00:08:42,934 --> 00:08:45,584 You can make it a combo for a dollar more. 222 00:08:45,633 --> 00:08:47,113 [both chuckle] 223 00:08:47,156 --> 00:08:49,856 You know, actually, Pop, what you said last night 224 00:08:49,898 --> 00:08:51,818 made a whole lot of sense. 225 00:08:51,856 --> 00:08:53,596 I shouldn't be eating your food. 226 00:08:53,641 --> 00:08:55,591 So I went out and I bought my own. 227 00:08:55,643 --> 00:08:58,033 Okay. Steppin' up, like I asked. 228 00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:01,130 You know what? Fix me one of those, and, um, 229 00:09:01,170 --> 00:09:02,390 make it a combo. 230 00:09:02,432 --> 00:09:03,862 [chuckles] 231 00:09:03,912 --> 00:09:05,562 You know, I would, Pop, 232 00:09:05,609 --> 00:09:09,009 but this is all stuff I bought myself. You see? 233 00:09:09,047 --> 00:09:11,617 I put my name on it. [chuckles] 234 00:09:11,659 --> 00:09:13,059 Okay. 235 00:09:13,095 --> 00:09:15,405 You're putting your name on meat now? 236 00:09:15,445 --> 00:09:17,485 Who are you, Oscar Mayer? 237 00:09:18,796 --> 00:09:21,016 Yeah, well, this way, you eat yourfood 238 00:09:21,059 --> 00:09:23,149 and I eat mine. Mm-hmm! 239 00:09:23,192 --> 00:09:25,542 You know what? That is a good idea. 240 00:09:25,586 --> 00:09:27,636 Mm.Maybe I should start putting 241 00:09:27,675 --> 00:09:30,505 my name on stuff I paid for. 242 00:09:30,547 --> 00:09:31,637 Okay. [chuckles] 243 00:09:31,679 --> 00:09:33,599 Look at that-- looks like 244 00:09:33,637 --> 00:09:34,767 your sandwich 245 00:09:34,812 --> 00:09:36,112 is on my plate. 246 00:09:37,598 --> 00:09:39,598 Well, lucky for me, 247 00:09:39,643 --> 00:09:41,383 this meal is handheld. 248 00:09:41,427 --> 00:09:44,087 That islucky for you. 249 00:09:44,126 --> 00:09:47,046 But what is not lucky for you is that your food... 250 00:09:47,085 --> 00:09:49,085 is in my fridge. 251 00:09:51,568 --> 00:09:53,788 Not a problem. I'll get a mini fridge 252 00:09:53,831 --> 00:09:55,261 for my room. 253 00:09:55,311 --> 00:09:57,391 Yes. A problem. 254 00:09:57,443 --> 00:09:59,053 Because... 255 00:09:59,097 --> 00:10:03,447 your room is in my house. 256 00:10:03,493 --> 00:10:06,493 Well, in that case, maybe I need a place of my own. 257 00:10:06,539 --> 00:10:08,679 Maybe you do. 258 00:10:08,716 --> 00:10:10,456 Well, maybe I should go look for one right now. 259 00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:12,810 Maybe you should. 260 00:10:12,850 --> 00:10:14,730 You know what? Fine. 261 00:10:17,812 --> 00:10:20,332 [ringtone playing] 262 00:10:20,379 --> 00:10:21,689 Hello? 263 00:10:21,729 --> 00:10:24,299 CALVIN: I just wanted to remind you... 264 00:10:25,558 --> 00:10:27,388 ...that's my phone. 265 00:10:37,266 --> 00:10:39,226 Well, I hope you're happy.[TV turns off] 266 00:10:39,268 --> 00:10:41,618 I just got off the phone with Malcolm. 267 00:10:41,662 --> 00:10:43,572 He already found a place. 268 00:10:43,620 --> 00:10:46,500 So he's still using my phone? 269 00:10:46,536 --> 00:10:48,976 Calvin, your son is moving into a one bedroom 270 00:10:49,017 --> 00:10:50,717 with four strangers 271 00:10:50,758 --> 00:10:53,588 all because the both of you are too stubborn to back down. 272 00:10:53,630 --> 00:10:55,380 Me? Stubborn? 273 00:10:55,414 --> 00:10:57,674 I'll sit here all day and argue that. 274 00:10:58,940 --> 00:11:00,820 Come on, Tina. 275 00:11:00,855 --> 00:11:02,945 Moving out is gonna be good for him. 276 00:11:02,987 --> 00:11:04,907 How? Well, for starters, 277 00:11:04,946 --> 00:11:06,206 with him out of the house, 278 00:11:06,251 --> 00:11:08,421 I don't have to wear pants anymore. 279 00:11:08,471 --> 00:11:12,251 That's not good for him, that's good for you. 280 00:11:12,301 --> 00:11:16,041 Well, actually, it's good for you. 281 00:11:21,310 --> 00:11:24,750 You need to apologize to your son and tell him 282 00:11:24,792 --> 00:11:26,832 he can stay, or things are gonna 283 00:11:26,881 --> 00:11:28,271 get ugly around here. 284 00:11:28,317 --> 00:11:30,407 How ugly? 285 00:11:30,449 --> 00:11:32,669 Remember the Valentine's Day you bought me a toaster? 286 00:11:32,713 --> 00:11:34,063 Uglier than that. 287 00:11:36,151 --> 00:11:37,891 [yawns]: Good morning. 288 00:11:37,935 --> 00:11:41,855 Seriously? For the last time, stop wearing my gi. 289 00:11:41,896 --> 00:11:45,376 It's a slap in the face to Sensei Chad. 290 00:11:46,596 --> 00:11:48,376 So, how are you feeling? 291 00:11:48,424 --> 00:11:49,854 Are you ready for your big audition? 292 00:11:49,904 --> 00:11:51,944 Oh, yeah, Grover and I rehearsed all night. 293 00:11:51,993 --> 00:11:53,213 Check it out. 294 00:11:53,255 --> 00:11:57,175 Now, that's a tasty burger. 295 00:11:57,215 --> 00:11:59,435 I thought it was a "juicy" burger? 296 00:11:59,478 --> 00:12:00,698 Yeah, but I decided "juicy" 297 00:12:00,741 --> 00:12:03,871 isn't a word my character would use. 298 00:12:03,918 --> 00:12:07,798 And yet, you have it tattooed on your lower back. 299 00:12:07,835 --> 00:12:09,615 So, what time do you have to be there? 300 00:12:09,662 --> 00:12:10,532 Not until 9:00. 301 00:12:10,576 --> 00:12:12,886 Brittany! It's 8:45. 302 00:12:12,927 --> 00:12:14,977 Oh, my God, you're right. Okay, I'm just gonna eat 303 00:12:15,016 --> 00:12:16,666 something really quick and then we'll go. 304 00:12:16,713 --> 00:12:18,453 Where's your pancake mix?What? No! No, no, no. 305 00:12:18,497 --> 00:12:20,677 No, no, no, no. No pancakes. 306 00:12:20,717 --> 00:12:23,677 Go put on some clothes. If we hurry, we can still make it. 307 00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:26,070 Fine. I'll meet you in the car. 308 00:12:26,114 --> 00:12:28,374 We'll just hit up a drive-through on the way there. 309 00:12:33,904 --> 00:12:34,904 Hey. 310 00:12:34,949 --> 00:12:36,349 Hey. 311 00:12:36,385 --> 00:12:37,825 I got some boxes, 312 00:12:37,865 --> 00:12:39,695 so I'll be out of your way by tonight. 313 00:12:39,736 --> 00:12:43,656 Look, about that, um, 314 00:12:43,696 --> 00:12:45,656 things got a little out of hand yesterday, 315 00:12:45,698 --> 00:12:48,918 so you don't have to move out if you don't want to. 316 00:12:48,963 --> 00:12:51,093 Oh, thank you, Pop. You know, I've been feeling bad 317 00:12:51,139 --> 00:12:53,579 about the way things went down, too. 318 00:12:53,619 --> 00:12:57,669 Great. Well, go tell your mom I said all that sensitive crap. 319 00:12:57,710 --> 00:12:59,850 And, uh, 320 00:12:59,887 --> 00:13:01,677 you know, tell her we hugged. [chuckles] 321 00:13:01,714 --> 00:13:03,754 She'll eat that stuff up right there. 322 00:13:05,544 --> 00:13:07,584 Wait, so you're only saying you want me to stay 323 00:13:07,633 --> 00:13:09,023 because Mom made you? 324 00:13:09,070 --> 00:13:11,860 Yeah. 325 00:13:11,899 --> 00:13:14,989 You expect me to wear pants the rest of my life? 326 00:13:16,251 --> 00:13:17,771 You know what? Do whatever you want, 327 00:13:17,818 --> 00:13:19,818 because I'm not gonna be here to see it. 328 00:13:19,863 --> 00:13:21,993 Really? You gonna act like that 329 00:13:22,039 --> 00:13:25,219 after I said everything your mama made me say? 330 00:13:26,739 --> 00:13:28,399 I-I expected more from you. 331 00:13:28,437 --> 00:13:31,047 And this is exactly what I expected from you. 332 00:13:31,092 --> 00:13:33,002 What is that supposed to mean? 333 00:13:33,050 --> 00:13:34,800 I don't know, ask Mom. 334 00:13:34,835 --> 00:13:37,835 Ha! Well, the joke's on you, 335 00:13:37,881 --> 00:13:40,011 because she's not talking to me. 336 00:13:43,713 --> 00:13:45,673 Oh, you're back. 337 00:13:45,715 --> 00:13:47,415 How'd the audition go? 338 00:13:47,456 --> 00:13:49,026 Not great. 339 00:13:49,066 --> 00:13:52,896 Brittany "accidentally" spilled coffee on another actress 340 00:13:52,940 --> 00:13:56,250 and then asked the casting director when the baby was due. 341 00:13:56,291 --> 00:13:59,161 Huh. She wasn't pregnant? 342 00:13:59,207 --> 00:14:01,207 No, hewasn't. 343 00:14:01,252 --> 00:14:02,862 Oh. 344 00:14:02,906 --> 00:14:04,776 Now that's a juicy burger. 345 00:14:07,302 --> 00:14:09,912 Dave, when she comes down, please be nice to her. 346 00:14:09,957 --> 00:14:11,877 She's in a very fragile state right now. 347 00:14:11,915 --> 00:14:13,875 Oh, I don't care what state she's in, 348 00:14:13,917 --> 00:14:15,917 as long as it's not California. 349 00:14:15,963 --> 00:14:16,913 Dave. 350 00:14:16,964 --> 00:14:19,614 But I will be nice. 351 00:14:19,662 --> 00:14:21,752 Well, my agent just called. 352 00:14:21,794 --> 00:14:23,314 I'm sorry, sweetie. 353 00:14:23,361 --> 00:14:25,051 I know how much you wanted this.[sighs] Yeah. 354 00:14:25,102 --> 00:14:26,582 Don't be too hard on yourself. 355 00:14:26,625 --> 00:14:28,105 What are you guys talking about? 356 00:14:28,149 --> 00:14:29,419 I got the part. 357 00:14:29,454 --> 00:14:32,324 What?! Of course. 358 00:14:32,370 --> 00:14:35,200 Yeah, they said they loved my "spunky, unpredictable energy," 359 00:14:35,243 --> 00:14:36,763 which is funny, 'cause that's exactly 360 00:14:36,809 --> 00:14:39,729 what my parole officer hated. [chuckles] 361 00:14:39,769 --> 00:14:42,949 Wow. Uh, you did it. Congratulations. 362 00:14:42,990 --> 00:14:46,040 Thanks. Too bad I had to turn it down. 363 00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:47,960 What?Of course. 364 00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:52,220 Why would you turn it down? 365 00:14:52,260 --> 00:14:54,010 Well, think about it. 366 00:14:54,044 --> 00:14:59,094 If I booked my first audition, I am clearly a great actor. 367 00:14:59,136 --> 00:15:02,096 And great actors don't do commercials. 368 00:15:04,054 --> 00:15:06,574 But this is a huge opportunity. 369 00:15:06,622 --> 00:15:08,232 You're just gonna throw it away? 370 00:15:08,276 --> 00:15:10,756 Yeah. Plus, they said it was gonna air in Mexico, 371 00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:12,550 and I've got muchowarrants down there. 372 00:15:13,934 --> 00:15:15,894 You know what? 373 00:15:15,936 --> 00:15:17,026 Dave is right. 374 00:15:17,067 --> 00:15:19,507 I do enable you. [laughs] 375 00:15:19,548 --> 00:15:22,028 I have given you so many chances 376 00:15:22,072 --> 00:15:24,552 and made so many excuses for you, 377 00:15:24,596 --> 00:15:26,556 and all you do is screw it up. 378 00:15:26,598 --> 00:15:28,078 But I am done. 379 00:15:28,122 --> 00:15:31,292 You need to get your stuff and go home, now. 380 00:15:34,911 --> 00:15:37,471 I know. You're right. 381 00:15:37,522 --> 00:15:39,002 I'm a disaster. 382 00:15:39,046 --> 00:15:41,356 And the worst part is, 383 00:15:41,396 --> 00:15:42,966 I don't even know why. 384 00:15:43,006 --> 00:15:46,056 I-I quit anything I start, 385 00:15:46,096 --> 00:15:48,926 anything good in my life I find a way to ruin. 386 00:15:48,969 --> 00:15:50,319 Even our relationship. 387 00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:55,500 You're the best big sister anybody could have, 388 00:15:55,540 --> 00:15:57,980 and all I do is I-I just take advantage of you. 389 00:15:59,283 --> 00:16:04,673 I don't know what else to say, but I'm... I'm sorry. 390 00:16:04,723 --> 00:16:06,943 I'm gonna go pack my things. 391 00:16:08,814 --> 00:16:10,034 Uh, Brittany, wait. 392 00:16:10,077 --> 00:16:11,037 I'm sorry I said that. 393 00:16:11,078 --> 00:16:12,948 Please, please, please don't go. 394 00:16:12,993 --> 00:16:14,423 Are you sure? 395 00:16:14,472 --> 00:16:17,032 Of course. You're my little sister. 396 00:16:17,084 --> 00:16:19,124 And scene. 397 00:16:23,177 --> 00:16:25,047 Wait, what? 398 00:16:25,092 --> 00:16:26,612 [giggles] 399 00:16:26,658 --> 00:16:29,098 I told you. I am a great actor. [giggles] 400 00:16:30,140 --> 00:16:31,800 You just made all that up? 401 00:16:31,837 --> 00:16:34,707 Not all. I stole a few lines from Gossip Girl. 402 00:16:34,753 --> 00:16:37,053 Oh, my God.Oh, my God. 403 00:16:37,104 --> 00:16:39,064 All right. 404 00:16:39,106 --> 00:16:42,066 That's it. You need to leave... now.What? 405 00:16:42,109 --> 00:16:43,159 You heard me.Okay, but... 406 00:16:43,197 --> 00:16:44,987 No, I'm not giving you my pee. 407 00:16:46,069 --> 00:16:49,639 Fine. Haters gonna hate. [grunts] 408 00:16:56,166 --> 00:16:57,476 You did it. 409 00:16:57,515 --> 00:16:59,085 You finally stood up to her. 410 00:16:59,126 --> 00:17:00,646 I know, but I was so harsh. 411 00:17:00,692 --> 00:17:02,082 Do you think she'll get over it? 412 00:17:02,129 --> 00:17:04,139 Of course she's gonna get over it. 413 00:17:04,174 --> 00:17:06,084 I'll tell you what I'll never get over. 414 00:17:06,133 --> 00:17:08,743 She is a way better actor than I'll ever be. 415 00:17:12,052 --> 00:17:14,092 Well, that's everything. 416 00:17:14,141 --> 00:17:16,351 You know, I can't believe you and your father 417 00:17:16,404 --> 00:17:18,104 are being so stubborn about this. 418 00:17:18,145 --> 00:17:19,365 He's the stubborn one. 419 00:17:19,407 --> 00:17:20,927 I just refuse to give in. 420 00:17:22,975 --> 00:17:25,845 Calvin, Malcolm's leaving! 421 00:17:27,676 --> 00:17:29,856 Don't you have anything to say to him? 422 00:17:29,895 --> 00:17:31,855 Fine. 423 00:17:35,945 --> 00:17:37,815 Seriously? 424 00:17:37,860 --> 00:17:40,130 You two have nothing to say to each other? 425 00:17:40,167 --> 00:17:43,037 Nope.Nope. 426 00:17:43,083 --> 00:17:45,823 See, that's what your problem is-- you're too much alike. 427 00:17:45,868 --> 00:17:47,398 No, we're not.No, we're not. 428 00:17:47,435 --> 00:17:48,955 You know what? 429 00:17:49,001 --> 00:17:51,391 Maybe you're right. Maybe this is a good idea. 430 00:17:51,439 --> 00:17:53,049 With Malcolm gone, 431 00:17:53,093 --> 00:17:55,393 you can finally watch football all by yourself 432 00:17:55,443 --> 00:17:56,963 without anyone to debate 433 00:17:57,009 --> 00:17:59,969 about who's the best player, or argue over calls. 434 00:18:00,012 --> 00:18:02,012 Sounds good to me. 435 00:18:02,058 --> 00:18:05,068 And, Malcolm, you won't be stuck playing cards with your dad. 436 00:18:05,105 --> 00:18:06,545 You know, talking about politics 437 00:18:06,584 --> 00:18:08,064 and what's going on in the world. 438 00:18:08,108 --> 00:18:10,068 That's right. I can do that with my roommates. 439 00:18:10,110 --> 00:18:12,330 Yeah, and since two of you sleep in the living room, 440 00:18:12,373 --> 00:18:14,983 y'all can chitchat all night long. 441 00:18:16,116 --> 00:18:18,726 Yeah, that's... that's gonna be fun. 442 00:18:20,163 --> 00:18:22,203 And, Calvin, you don't have to remind Malcolm 443 00:18:22,252 --> 00:18:23,862 about taking the trash out anymore, 444 00:18:23,906 --> 00:18:26,126 because you'll be doing it!That's right. 445 00:18:26,909 --> 00:18:28,569 Uh-huh. 446 00:18:30,130 --> 00:18:32,880 Well, now that we all agree this is for the best-- 447 00:18:32,915 --> 00:18:34,785 Calvin, tomorrow's trash day. 448 00:18:34,830 --> 00:18:36,790 Malcolm, don't let the doorknob hit ya 449 00:18:36,832 --> 00:18:38,092 where the good Lord split ya. 450 00:18:42,794 --> 00:18:44,794 So, uh... 451 00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:47,020 really? Two of y'all sleep in the living room? 452 00:18:47,059 --> 00:18:48,889 It's not as bad as it sounds. 453 00:18:48,931 --> 00:18:51,281 We got a line of tape down the middle. 454 00:18:53,109 --> 00:18:54,679 Well, fine. 455 00:18:54,719 --> 00:18:56,549 I hope you enjoy watching football with him. 456 00:18:56,591 --> 00:18:59,071 Well, actually, we don't have cable, 457 00:18:59,115 --> 00:19:01,505 which would be useless anyway, because... 458 00:19:01,552 --> 00:19:03,162 we don't have a TV. 459 00:19:03,206 --> 00:19:04,986 What?! 460 00:19:05,034 --> 00:19:06,684 Man, that's crazy. 461 00:19:06,731 --> 00:19:08,901 Every man deserves to watch football. 462 00:19:08,951 --> 00:19:10,731 I think that's in the Constitution. 463 00:19:12,389 --> 00:19:14,349 I'll tell you what. 464 00:19:14,391 --> 00:19:18,081 Why don't you come over Sunday and watch one of the games? 465 00:19:18,134 --> 00:19:20,574 Okay, that'd be cool. 466 00:19:20,615 --> 00:19:24,185 Of course... there's also Monday Night Football. 467 00:19:25,707 --> 00:19:28,627 And Thursday. 468 00:19:28,666 --> 00:19:31,146 That would be a lot of driving back and forth. 469 00:19:31,191 --> 00:19:33,011 Especially without your mama's gas card. 470 00:19:33,062 --> 00:19:35,012 [laughs] 471 00:19:35,064 --> 00:19:37,064 Well, maybe... 472 00:19:37,109 --> 00:19:39,639 you should finish out the season here. 473 00:19:39,677 --> 00:19:42,817 That does seem like the logical solution. 474 00:19:42,854 --> 00:19:44,684 Yeah, all right. 475 00:19:44,726 --> 00:19:47,946 Well, uh, maybe you should just stay for a little while. 476 00:19:47,990 --> 00:19:50,040 Yeah, for a little while. 477 00:19:50,079 --> 00:19:51,519 All right. Well, good. Come on. 478 00:19:51,559 --> 00:19:53,699 Let me help you get these boxes in, son. 479 00:19:53,735 --> 00:19:54,995 Hey, you know what, Pop? 480 00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:57,440 If I am gonna stay here for a little while, 481 00:19:57,478 --> 00:19:59,608 I think I should start paying rent. 482 00:19:59,654 --> 00:20:01,224 You damn straight you are. 483 00:20:02,526 --> 00:20:04,096 And I'm talking market rate. 484 00:20:04,136 --> 00:20:05,966 I don't play that rent control. 485 00:20:12,319 --> 00:20:15,409 Hey, Dave. You take Brittany to the airport? 486 00:20:15,452 --> 00:20:17,322 Actually, the train station. 487 00:20:17,367 --> 00:20:20,197 She says the airport is "bounty hunter central." 488 00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:21,460 [chuckles] 489 00:20:21,502 --> 00:20:22,982 Well, congratulations. 490 00:20:23,025 --> 00:20:24,545 You got rid of your freeloader. 491 00:20:24,592 --> 00:20:26,892 Oh, not me. It was all Gemma. 492 00:20:26,942 --> 00:20:28,722 What about you? 493 00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:31,080 Uh, you and Malcolm figure everything out? 494 00:20:31,120 --> 00:20:35,170 Yeah. You know, um, he and Tina begged me not to kick him out, 495 00:20:35,211 --> 00:20:38,161 so, what are you gonna do, you know? 496 00:20:39,302 --> 00:20:40,732 Dave, we got to go. 497 00:20:40,782 --> 00:20:42,132 Where? 498 00:20:42,174 --> 00:20:43,654 The train station just called. 499 00:20:43,698 --> 00:20:45,308 Apparently, they have a jail. 500 00:20:45,352 --> 00:20:46,872 [Malcolm laughs] 501 00:20:46,918 --> 00:20:48,578 Oh, check out this crazy white girl 502 00:20:48,616 --> 00:20:50,186 fighting on YouTube. 503 00:20:50,226 --> 00:20:51,836 Brittany?! 504 00:20:52,924 --> 00:20:55,094 Damn! 505 00:20:55,144 --> 00:20:57,014 She put that conductor to sleep. 506 00:20:59,061 --> 00:21:00,361 And look at that. 507 00:21:00,410 --> 00:21:02,290 She's wearing my sunglasses! 508 00:21:06,634 --> 00:21:09,674 Captioning sponsored by CBS 509 00:21:09,724 --> 00:21:13,294 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org