1
00:00:14,165 --> 00:00:16,165
Dad, can we go back inside?
2
00:00:16,211 --> 00:00:17,681
It's hot out here.
3
00:00:17,734 --> 00:00:19,694
Aw, come on, buddy,
it's not that bad.
4
00:00:19,736 --> 00:00:21,956
It's just a little
fall heat wave.
5
00:00:21,999 --> 00:00:26,699
Besides, it's cooled down
to a comfy... 102.
6
00:00:26,743 --> 00:00:30,133
Then can I at least have a turn?
7
00:00:30,181 --> 00:00:32,351
What are you talking about?
8
00:00:32,401 --> 00:00:34,351
I let you open the box.
9
00:00:34,403 --> 00:00:36,183
[engine approaches]
10
00:00:40,452 --> 00:00:41,322
Hey, Calvin.
11
00:00:41,366 --> 00:00:44,806
Hey, Dave.
12
00:00:45,892 --> 00:00:47,762
Why are you sitting
in your truck?
13
00:00:47,807 --> 00:00:52,077
Just trying to soak in some AC
for my run into the house.
14
00:00:53,683 --> 00:00:55,853
Okay. All right.
15
00:00:55,902 --> 00:00:58,732
Here I go.
[inhales]
16
00:01:03,606 --> 00:01:04,826
Calvin, wait.
17
00:01:04,868 --> 00:01:07,438
What?
[shouts]
18
00:01:07,479 --> 00:01:09,139
Damn it, you just made me
breathe out
19
00:01:09,177 --> 00:01:10,967
all my air conditioning.
20
00:01:11,004 --> 00:01:12,744
Hey, before you go inside,
21
00:01:12,789 --> 00:01:15,879
check out this sick loop
into a barrel roll.
22
00:01:15,922 --> 00:01:17,882
Now, first you lean
on the throttle,
23
00:01:17,924 --> 00:01:19,224
and then you pull back on the...
24
00:01:19,274 --> 00:01:20,834
Whoa, whoa, watch out
for the power line.
25
00:01:20,884 --> 00:01:22,884
[electricity crackles]Oh...
26
00:01:26,933 --> 00:01:29,843
Guess now I get to put it
back in the box.
27
00:01:31,808 --> 00:01:33,768
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
28
00:01:33,810 --> 00:01:35,120
♪ Welcome to the hood.
29
00:01:40,251 --> 00:01:44,081
Dave knocks out our power,
but his power stays on.
30
00:01:44,125 --> 00:01:47,565
If that's not white privilege,
I don't know what to tell you.
31
00:01:49,086 --> 00:01:50,826
Hey, you know, Pop,
32
00:01:50,870 --> 00:01:53,230
it could take the city
a couple of days to fix it.
33
00:01:53,264 --> 00:01:55,134
You sure you don't want
to go with me to Marty's?
34
00:01:55,179 --> 00:01:57,139
No, this is Dave's fault.
35
00:01:57,181 --> 00:02:01,311
I'm staying at his place, eating
his food, and cranking his air.
36
00:02:01,359 --> 00:02:04,979
I'm thinking somewhere
between meat locker and igloo.
37
00:02:05,015 --> 00:02:06,975
[Tina shouts]
38
00:02:07,017 --> 00:02:09,757
Lord, it's like an oven in here.
39
00:02:09,802 --> 00:02:12,582
My nooks are starting
to stick to my crannies.
40
00:02:14,329 --> 00:02:16,159
If this is what hell feels like,
41
00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:18,250
I'm-a start going to church
more often. [chuckles]
42
00:02:18,289 --> 00:02:20,119
Even during football season?
43
00:02:20,161 --> 00:02:21,331
It's not that hot.
44
00:02:25,166 --> 00:02:28,126
[sighs] I feel so bad
that Calvin and Tina
45
00:02:28,169 --> 00:02:29,779
have to spend
the night here.
46
00:02:29,822 --> 00:02:31,302
It was an accident.
47
00:02:31,346 --> 00:02:33,266
It wasan accident, right?
48
00:02:34,610 --> 00:02:36,140
Of course it was an accident.
49
00:02:36,177 --> 00:02:40,227
I told you. Grover took it
out of the box wrong.
50
00:02:40,268 --> 00:02:41,798
[banging on door]
51
00:02:43,271 --> 00:02:46,271
Let us in! It's hot out here!
52
00:02:46,317 --> 00:02:49,587
TINA:
Yeah, I'm starting to sweat
my eyebrows off!
53
00:02:49,625 --> 00:02:51,755
Oh, hey, guys, come on in...Out of the way.
54
00:02:51,801 --> 00:02:54,011
[whoops]I'm looking for a vent.
55
00:02:54,064 --> 00:02:56,284
Oh, yeah, there it is. Okay.
56
00:02:56,327 --> 00:02:58,377
[whoops]
Get all over me. Yeah.
57
00:02:58,416 --> 00:03:01,156
Get in where you fit in,
right there.
58
00:03:02,246 --> 00:03:04,946
Yeah, uh, thanks again
for letting us stay here.
59
00:03:04,988 --> 00:03:06,908
Are you kidding?
We're so glad to have you.
60
00:03:06,946 --> 00:03:09,076
Oh, no! You don't want
any part of this.
61
00:03:09,122 --> 00:03:10,642
I'm funky as hell.
62
00:03:12,256 --> 00:03:13,256
And, guys, while you're here,
63
00:03:13,301 --> 00:03:15,251
please consider
our home your home.
64
00:03:15,303 --> 00:03:17,523
Well, in that case, you're
Malcolm. Go get me a beer.
65
00:03:19,263 --> 00:03:22,433
Perfect. One pumpkin
spice lager coming up.
66
00:03:22,484 --> 00:03:26,404
Thanks, and, uh,
don't forget the beer.
67
00:03:26,444 --> 00:03:29,224
Okay, we've got you
all set up in our bedroom.
68
00:03:29,273 --> 00:03:32,013
Fresh towels, clean sheets,
and a bunch of little bottles
69
00:03:32,058 --> 00:03:34,278
of shampoo I stole
from a hotel.
70
00:03:34,322 --> 00:03:37,062
Ooh. Gemma, you didn't
have to do that.
71
00:03:37,107 --> 00:03:38,627
I know, but it was
such a rush.
72
00:03:39,936 --> 00:03:42,246
Okay, since you weren't
into the pumpkin spice,
73
00:03:42,286 --> 00:03:45,856
I got you something
a little more traditional.
74
00:03:45,898 --> 00:03:48,428
Is any part of
the name a fruit?
75
00:03:50,425 --> 00:03:52,735
I'm gonna run to the store.
76
00:03:52,775 --> 00:03:54,515
No, no, no, don't-- Dave.
Don't bother.
77
00:03:54,559 --> 00:03:56,909
We'll just go freshen up
and then come down for dinner.
78
00:03:56,953 --> 00:03:59,303
Oh, cool. Well, then, maybe
after that we can watch a movie,
79
00:03:59,347 --> 00:04:01,877
play a game, or, I don't know,
just kick it.
80
00:04:01,914 --> 00:04:04,224
Good night, everybody.
81
00:04:04,265 --> 00:04:06,305
Good night. Oh...
82
00:04:08,399 --> 00:04:10,279
[knocking on door]
83
00:04:13,361 --> 00:04:15,491
Hey. What's up, man?[laughs]: Hey.
84
00:04:15,537 --> 00:04:17,017
Come on in, brother.
85
00:04:17,060 --> 00:04:19,280
Oh, wow, Marty,
your place looks great.
86
00:04:19,323 --> 00:04:20,753
I see you redecorated.
87
00:04:20,803 --> 00:04:22,973
Yeah. I like to call
my new aesthetic
88
00:04:23,022 --> 00:04:25,582
"Mid-Century Marty."[chuckles]:
Oh.
89
00:04:25,634 --> 00:04:30,204
Well, that's a nice change of
pace from "Last Century Calvin."
90
00:04:30,247 --> 00:04:31,767
It's good to have you, man.
91
00:04:31,814 --> 00:04:34,204
Take a load off,
make yourself comfortable.
92
00:04:34,251 --> 00:04:36,251
Thank you. Don't mind if I do.
93
00:04:36,297 --> 00:04:37,777
Ah.
94
00:04:37,820 --> 00:04:39,220
Maybe not that comfortable.
95
00:04:39,256 --> 00:04:40,736
[laughs]:
Oh.
96
00:04:40,779 --> 00:04:43,349
Okay. My bad.No, you know, it's just--
97
00:04:43,391 --> 00:04:44,861
this is a coffee table,
not an ottoman.Right.
98
00:04:44,914 --> 00:04:46,434
Totally different
pieces of furniture.
99
00:04:46,481 --> 00:04:49,611
Okay, I get it, man. Thank you.
100
00:04:49,658 --> 00:04:51,528
What is this?Wh-Wh-Whoa, whoa, whoa!
101
00:04:51,573 --> 00:04:54,053
Whoa, whoa!What, man, what?
102
00:04:54,097 --> 00:04:55,357
What do you think you're doing?
103
00:04:55,403 --> 00:04:57,533
Marty, I'm just checking out
your new toys.
104
00:04:57,579 --> 00:05:02,109
Toys? M-Malcolm, these are
scale models of the Saturn V,
105
00:05:02,148 --> 00:05:05,548
the Atlantisshuttle,
and the Apollo 11Lunar Module.
106
00:05:05,587 --> 00:05:07,377
Okay? These are some
of the most important examples
107
00:05:07,415 --> 00:05:10,935
of mankind's ascent into space.Right.
108
00:05:10,983 --> 00:05:13,503
Now, is that where they met
the Green Power Ranger?
109
00:05:14,770 --> 00:05:17,300
No, man.
110
00:05:17,338 --> 00:05:19,388
He's there to protect them.
111
00:05:19,427 --> 00:05:22,517
Hey, Marty, look, this
is all just stuff, bro.
112
00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:24,350
Don't be such a nerd.
113
00:05:24,388 --> 00:05:27,218
Oh, man, you know,
I'm not a nerd.
114
00:05:27,260 --> 00:05:30,920
You know, I'm not a nerd. Just,
uh, I like things a certain way.
115
00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:33,230
Yeah, I know you do. You used
to eat your alphabet soup
116
00:05:33,266 --> 00:05:35,396
in alphabetical order.
117
00:05:35,443 --> 00:05:37,263
Uh, hello?
That's called a system.
118
00:05:38,707 --> 00:05:40,407
And it's that kind
of attention to detail
119
00:05:40,448 --> 00:05:42,668
that makes JPL
hire a person like me.
120
00:05:42,711 --> 00:05:45,011
Yeah, well, I work at JPL, too.
121
00:05:45,061 --> 00:05:48,321
[chuckles]:
Well, you know...
122
00:05:48,369 --> 00:05:50,719
You know... No disrespect,
but-but you're a security guard.
123
00:05:50,762 --> 00:05:52,452
I-I'm an engineer.
124
00:05:52,503 --> 00:05:55,983
That's all disrespect.
125
00:05:56,028 --> 00:05:58,508
No, I-I'm just saying, man, like
i-if you press the wrong button,
126
00:05:58,553 --> 00:06:00,333
somebody gets off
on the wrong floor.
127
00:06:00,381 --> 00:06:03,601
If I press the wrong button,
goodbye, Moon.
128
00:06:03,645 --> 00:06:05,345
Wait a minute,
you can blow up the moon?
129
00:06:05,386 --> 00:06:06,866
You heard nothing.
130
00:06:08,824 --> 00:06:11,214
Listen, Malcolm, this is,
this is my place, you know?
131
00:06:11,261 --> 00:06:13,001
So-so, while you're here,
132
00:06:13,045 --> 00:06:15,435
why don't we just keep things
the way that I like them?
133
00:06:15,483 --> 00:06:17,003
All right, man, fine.All right.
134
00:06:17,049 --> 00:06:18,319
I'm-a go take a shower.
135
00:06:18,355 --> 00:06:20,835
Unless you're uncomfortable
with that, too.
136
00:06:20,879 --> 00:06:22,149
Don't be silly.
137
00:06:22,185 --> 00:06:24,055
[chuckles]:
All right.
138
00:06:24,100 --> 00:06:25,580
Just don't take your cell phone
in there.
139
00:06:25,623 --> 00:06:27,623
I don't like the radiation
near my Q-tips.
140
00:06:34,371 --> 00:06:35,931
Oh, hey, Gem. I was
just coming down
141
00:06:35,981 --> 00:06:38,201
to get a glass of wine!
142
00:06:40,856 --> 00:06:42,296
Oh, my God.
143
00:06:42,335 --> 00:06:46,165
It's okay. It's just
a hydrating sheet mask.
144
00:06:46,209 --> 00:06:47,519
Well, are you sure?
Because it looks like
145
00:06:47,558 --> 00:06:49,828
you're wearing
your victim's face.
146
00:06:49,865 --> 00:06:52,475
Oh, like, Hannibal Lecter?
147
00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:54,830
[English accent]:
"I enjoyed his liver
148
00:06:54,870 --> 00:06:57,440
with some fava beans
and a nice Chia..."
149
00:06:57,481 --> 00:07:00,091
[gagging]
150
00:07:00,136 --> 00:07:02,096
[regular accent]: I think I just
swallowed some of my mask.
151
00:07:02,138 --> 00:07:03,358
Oh...
152
00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:04,840
[coughs]
153
00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:07,500
So, do you do
one of those every night?
154
00:07:07,535 --> 00:07:09,365
Oh, no. Just once a week.
155
00:07:09,406 --> 00:07:11,366
What do you do for your skin?
156
00:07:11,408 --> 00:07:12,938
Well, I have
this complex regimen
157
00:07:12,975 --> 00:07:14,715
that I do seven nights a week.
158
00:07:14,759 --> 00:07:17,239
[gasps]
Ooh, what is it?
159
00:07:17,283 --> 00:07:18,453
It's called being black.
160
00:07:24,856 --> 00:07:27,466
Damn. Gemma wasn't joking.
161
00:07:27,511 --> 00:07:30,861
She jacked, like,
50 hotels' worth of shampoo.
162
00:07:30,906 --> 00:07:33,036
You know,
163
00:07:33,082 --> 00:07:35,432
I'm keeping my eye on her the
next time she uses our bathroom.
164
00:07:37,086 --> 00:07:39,826
Well, I know I ain't getting
a good night's sleep tonight.
165
00:07:39,871 --> 00:07:42,831
These sheets are grabbing me
like Velcro.
166
00:07:42,874 --> 00:07:45,444
They feel good to me.
They feel smooth.
167
00:07:45,486 --> 00:07:49,886
Not smooth enough. You know
how I like to slip around.
168
00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:58,680
Stop complaining
and just, just put on the TV.
169
00:07:58,716 --> 00:08:02,676
Fine. But I'm buying a movie
whether we watch it or not.
170
00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:05,030
Where's the remote?
171
00:08:05,070 --> 00:08:07,340
I don't know.
Check Dave's nightstand.
172
00:08:07,377 --> 00:08:09,987
Oh... Yeah.
173
00:08:10,032 --> 00:08:12,862
Ain't nothing in here but
a bunch of self-help books.
174
00:08:12,904 --> 00:08:15,644
Building Connections
with Kindness.
175
00:08:15,690 --> 00:08:19,610
Even his books are annoying.
176
00:08:19,650 --> 00:08:21,530
Calvin, stop snooping around.
177
00:08:21,565 --> 00:08:23,525
White people got cameras.
178
00:08:27,919 --> 00:08:30,449
[laughs]
Look at this, Tina.
179
00:08:30,487 --> 00:08:31,967
Dave has a Bible, too.
180
00:08:32,010 --> 00:08:34,100
You know what? Maybe
we should invite him
181
00:08:34,143 --> 00:08:35,623
to our church sometime.
182
00:08:35,666 --> 00:08:37,626
[laughs]
183
00:08:37,668 --> 00:08:40,148
Could you imagine
Dave at a black church?
184
00:08:40,192 --> 00:08:42,152
What?
That tambourine
would never recover.
185
00:08:42,194 --> 00:08:43,454
[laughs]
186
00:08:44,936 --> 00:08:46,636
Oh, hold on, this ain't a Bible.
187
00:08:46,677 --> 00:08:49,947
Oh, no, baby,
that must be Dave's journal.
188
00:08:49,985 --> 00:08:51,595
Put that back. That's not right.
189
00:08:51,639 --> 00:08:53,599
Oh, no, it's okay, Tina.
190
00:08:53,641 --> 00:08:56,681
He already tells me
everything anyway. You know?
191
00:08:56,731 --> 00:09:01,561
Oh, ooh, this is good, too,
right here. Check this out.
192
00:09:01,605 --> 00:09:05,435
"Old Miss Kim made me
uncomfortable again today.
193
00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:08,398
Why would she want
to drink my bathwater?"
194
00:09:10,745 --> 00:09:16,485
Hey, Dave, if you're watching,
I'm not in this.
195
00:09:16,533 --> 00:09:19,053
[laughs]: Oh.
Here's another one right here.
196
00:09:19,101 --> 00:09:21,581
"Came up with
my own cool handshake.
197
00:09:21,625 --> 00:09:24,065
Gonna try it out
on Malcolm tomorrow."
198
00:09:24,106 --> 00:09:25,676
Look, he even drew pictures
and everything.
199
00:09:25,716 --> 00:09:27,546
Look at this...
200
00:09:27,588 --> 00:09:29,858
Calvin, Calvin, look,
that's enough.
201
00:09:29,894 --> 00:09:32,674
Okay? Enough with the journal.[stammers] Just one more, okay?
202
00:09:32,723 --> 00:09:34,593
Oh, my God.[laughs]
203
00:09:34,638 --> 00:09:36,248
Wait, wait a minute.
What the hell?
204
00:09:36,292 --> 00:09:38,462
What?
205
00:09:38,511 --> 00:09:39,941
L-Let me see
your reading glasses.
206
00:09:39,991 --> 00:09:43,251
Oh, uh, here. Here, here.
207
00:09:43,299 --> 00:09:46,049
Mmm.
208
00:09:46,084 --> 00:09:50,564
"Calvin Butler thinks
he's such a big shot,
209
00:09:50,611 --> 00:09:52,691
"but the truth is
he's a ridiculous,
210
00:09:52,743 --> 00:09:55,133
insecure little man."
211
00:09:57,313 --> 00:09:59,573
Damn, Dave, that's cold.
212
00:10:07,497 --> 00:10:09,457
Who the hell does
Dave think he is,
213
00:10:09,499 --> 00:10:11,899
calling me insecure
and ridiculous?
214
00:10:11,936 --> 00:10:13,676
I'll tell you what's ridiculous.
215
00:10:13,721 --> 00:10:15,761
This handshake.
That's ridiculous.
216
00:10:15,810 --> 00:10:19,210
It's got a pinkie swear in it.
217
00:10:19,248 --> 00:10:20,688
Calvin, stop reading that.
218
00:10:20,728 --> 00:10:22,298
It's just hurting
your feelings, baby.
219
00:10:22,338 --> 00:10:23,778
Feelings?
Yeah.
220
00:10:23,818 --> 00:10:26,128
Tina, I'm a man.
I don't have feelings.
221
00:10:27,735 --> 00:10:30,475
Besides, I don't give a damn
what Dave thinks of me.
222
00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:33,830
Okay. Well, in that case,
let's go to sleep.
223
00:10:33,871 --> 00:10:35,871
Yeah, let's go to sleep.
224
00:10:35,917 --> 00:10:37,227
Okay.
225
00:10:39,529 --> 00:10:41,059
CALVIN:
I can't sleep![Tina grunts]
226
00:10:42,532 --> 00:10:44,442
I need to get this off
my chest right now.
227
00:10:46,667 --> 00:10:48,187
Damn these Velcro sheets.
228
00:10:48,233 --> 00:10:51,493
Calvin, Calvin, stop.
229
00:10:51,541 --> 00:10:54,281
You cannot talk to Dave.Why not?
230
00:10:54,326 --> 00:10:55,976
Because he'll know
that you read his journal,
231
00:10:56,024 --> 00:10:59,634
and no matter what he wrote,
baby, that was wrong.
232
00:10:59,680 --> 00:11:01,290
I don't care.
233
00:11:01,333 --> 00:11:05,033
Well, do you care that it's 105
degrees in our house right now?
234
00:11:06,469 --> 00:11:08,129
Sleep well, Tina.
235
00:11:09,472 --> 00:11:12,162
Good morning, Malcolm.
236
00:11:12,214 --> 00:11:15,434
[shrieks]
237
00:11:15,478 --> 00:11:19,008
Good morning, Martin.
Are you ready to go to work?
238
00:11:19,047 --> 00:11:20,967
What-what happened?
239
00:11:22,833 --> 00:11:25,003
Well, I don't know.
I'm just a security guard.
240
00:11:26,489 --> 00:11:30,369
You probably need a fancy
engineer to figure this out.
241
00:11:30,406 --> 00:11:32,976
Okay. This isn't funny.
242
00:11:33,017 --> 00:11:34,807
Oh, I strongly disagree.
243
00:11:34,845 --> 00:11:36,625
[laughs]
All right.
244
00:11:36,673 --> 00:11:38,893
All right, you made your point.
Now help me put everything back.
245
00:11:38,936 --> 00:11:41,766
This chair goes here. Okay?
246
00:11:41,809 --> 00:11:43,859
These stools go
right over here and...
247
00:11:43,898 --> 00:11:46,948
[gasps]
Ooh!
248
00:11:48,424 --> 00:11:51,994
Why is Spock holding hands
with Optimus Prime?
249
00:11:52,036 --> 00:11:53,956
Wait a minute.
Don't judge, Marty.
250
00:11:53,995 --> 00:11:55,775
Love is love, brother.
251
00:11:55,823 --> 00:11:57,173
[laughs]
252
00:11:57,215 --> 00:11:58,695
"Love is love." No.
253
00:11:58,739 --> 00:11:59,959
Spock can't love.
254
00:12:00,001 --> 00:12:01,911
He doesn't have emotions!
255
00:12:07,138 --> 00:12:09,668
Are we having chocolate chip
pancakes for breakfast?
256
00:12:09,706 --> 00:12:12,536
Yeah. We wanted to do something
special for the Butlers.
257
00:12:12,578 --> 00:12:14,798
I'm so glad
we broke their house.
258
00:12:14,842 --> 00:12:17,062
[chuckles]
259
00:12:17,105 --> 00:12:18,755
Good morning.
260
00:12:18,802 --> 00:12:20,492
Oh, hey, how'd you guys sleep?
261
00:12:20,543 --> 00:12:23,323
[quietly]:
Like he cares.
[mouths]
262
00:12:24,373 --> 00:12:25,593
I hope you're hungry.
263
00:12:25,635 --> 00:12:27,285
We made chocolate chip pancakes.
264
00:12:27,332 --> 00:12:29,022
Yeah, I remembered
they're your favorite.
265
00:12:29,073 --> 00:12:32,113
[chuckles]
You don't know me, Dave.
266
00:12:33,556 --> 00:12:35,336
Are you still mad
about the drone?
267
00:12:35,384 --> 00:12:38,564
Oh, no. No, that was
a blessing in disguise.
268
00:12:38,604 --> 00:12:41,784
I totally agree.
269
00:12:41,825 --> 00:12:44,915
Okay, then, uh,
what's bothering you?
270
00:12:44,959 --> 00:12:46,919
I'll tell you
what's bothering me...Calvin.
271
00:12:46,961 --> 00:12:48,171
No, Tina.
272
00:12:48,223 --> 00:12:50,703
Look, I am too upset.
I got to speak my mind.
273
00:12:50,747 --> 00:12:52,877
It's all the shampoo I stole,
isn't it?
274
00:12:52,923 --> 00:12:55,223
I have a problem.
275
00:12:57,058 --> 00:12:58,318
What-what-- no, no, no, no.
276
00:12:58,363 --> 00:13:00,583
Actually, this is between
Calvin and Dave.
277
00:13:00,626 --> 00:13:03,586
So why don't we go into the
living room and watch cartoons?
278
00:13:04,674 --> 00:13:07,634
And we'll talk about getting you
into a program.
279
00:13:09,244 --> 00:13:12,244
Okay, Calvin, what's going on?
280
00:13:12,290 --> 00:13:14,250
I'll tell you what's going on.
281
00:13:14,292 --> 00:13:18,032
You called me a ridiculous,
insecure little man.
282
00:13:18,079 --> 00:13:21,089
When did I say that?
283
00:13:21,125 --> 00:13:23,035
August 3.
284
00:13:24,912 --> 00:13:27,912
Right after Old Miss Kim
tried to get busy with you.
285
00:13:28,959 --> 00:13:30,879
What are you...?
286
00:13:33,529 --> 00:13:35,539
Calvin, did you read my journal?
287
00:13:37,185 --> 00:13:39,145
Maybe.
288
00:13:39,187 --> 00:13:42,847
That is a total violation
of my privacy.
289
00:13:42,886 --> 00:13:44,066
How could you do that?
290
00:13:44,105 --> 00:13:45,935
Look, if you didn't want
anybody to read it,
291
00:13:45,976 --> 00:13:47,196
you shouldn't have
left it buried
292
00:13:47,238 --> 00:13:49,548
in the back of your nightstand.
293
00:13:49,588 --> 00:13:51,068
I can't believe you did this.
294
00:13:51,112 --> 00:13:53,242
I-I thought we were friends.And so did I,
295
00:13:53,288 --> 00:13:56,468
until I went behind your back
and read your journal.
296
00:13:56,508 --> 00:14:00,298
You know, based on the way
that you are acting,
297
00:14:00,338 --> 00:14:02,778
I was right on about August 3.
298
00:14:02,819 --> 00:14:05,739
And September 15.
299
00:14:07,737 --> 00:14:09,307
What'd you say then?
300
00:14:09,347 --> 00:14:11,177
You'll never know.
301
00:14:11,219 --> 00:14:12,829
You know what? Forget this.
302
00:14:12,873 --> 00:14:14,043
I'm out of here.
303
00:14:14,091 --> 00:14:16,911
A-And for your information,
304
00:14:16,964 --> 00:14:21,054
Old Miss Kim beentrying
to drink my bathwater.
305
00:14:23,144 --> 00:14:25,624
You ain't special, Dave.
306
00:14:29,324 --> 00:14:31,284
Hey, I was told
I need to escort
307
00:14:31,326 --> 00:14:33,106
a terminated employee
out of the building?
308
00:14:33,154 --> 00:14:35,024
He's right in here
packing up.
309
00:14:35,069 --> 00:14:36,419
All right.
310
00:14:36,461 --> 00:14:39,201
Oh, wait. Uh...
311
00:14:39,247 --> 00:14:41,207
Marty, you're not the one
who's fired, are you?
312
00:14:41,249 --> 00:14:43,119
Yeah. I transposed
some coordinates,
313
00:14:43,164 --> 00:14:45,164
and now our GPS satellite
is sending everybody
314
00:14:45,209 --> 00:14:47,259
to a Starbucks in Wyoming.
315
00:14:47,298 --> 00:14:50,218
Wh-- how'd you do that?
316
00:14:50,258 --> 00:14:52,698
I'll tell you how.
You messed up my stuff.
317
00:14:52,738 --> 00:14:55,218
I was too stressed to focus
and now I'm fired.
318
00:14:55,263 --> 00:14:57,783
Oh, wait.
Hey, look-look, uh, uh, Bill,
319
00:14:57,830 --> 00:14:59,310
this is all my fault, all right?
320
00:14:59,354 --> 00:15:00,614
Just tell me
what the damages are
321
00:15:00,659 --> 00:15:02,099
and you can take it
out of my paycheck.
322
00:15:02,139 --> 00:15:04,229
He lost a multimillion-dollar
satellite.
323
00:15:04,272 --> 00:15:06,222
Okay, I'm-a need
to work some overtime.
324
00:15:07,623 --> 00:15:10,273
It's too late, Malcolm.
There's nothing you can do.
325
00:15:10,321 --> 00:15:13,321
Hey, look. Come on, man.
326
00:15:13,368 --> 00:15:15,588
You cannot fire Marty,
all right?
327
00:15:15,631 --> 00:15:17,061
You should see his apartment.
328
00:15:17,111 --> 00:15:19,321
It is practically
a shrine to all this...
329
00:15:19,374 --> 00:15:22,154
nerd stuff that y'all do here.
330
00:15:22,203 --> 00:15:24,503
Uh, sorry, but it's
out of my hands.
331
00:15:24,553 --> 00:15:26,553
Yeah, but this job
is his life, man.
332
00:15:26,598 --> 00:15:28,558
He can't lose it because of me.
333
00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:30,000
Well, maybe you should have
thought about that
334
00:15:30,037 --> 00:15:31,297
before you pulled
your stupid prank.
335
00:15:31,342 --> 00:15:32,992
Look, I know.
Y-You're right, Marty.
336
00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:35,740
I just, I thought
it would be funny.
337
00:15:35,781 --> 00:15:37,131
But it wasn't, was it?
338
00:15:37,174 --> 00:15:40,304
[sighs]
No.
339
00:15:40,351 --> 00:15:42,961
You want you know what is?What?
340
00:15:43,006 --> 00:15:45,136
The fact that I'm pranking you
right now!
341
00:15:45,182 --> 00:15:47,702
[laughter]
Yeah.
342
00:15:47,750 --> 00:15:49,630
[whooping]
343
00:15:49,665 --> 00:15:50,925
Yeah!
344
00:15:50,971 --> 00:15:52,921
Wait, wait, wait, wait, so...
345
00:15:52,973 --> 00:15:54,583
all of you were in on this?
346
00:15:54,626 --> 00:15:57,546
That's right.
I've never felt so cool.
347
00:15:57,586 --> 00:16:00,506
You should've seen
your face.
348
00:16:00,545 --> 00:16:03,985
"But this job is his life.
He can't lose it 'cause of me."
349
00:16:04,027 --> 00:16:05,987
[laughter]
350
00:16:06,029 --> 00:16:07,989
Okay, well,
what can I say, Marty?
351
00:16:08,031 --> 00:16:10,641
You got me good.Oh, I did, didn't I?
352
00:16:10,686 --> 00:16:12,126
It was pretty funny, right?
353
00:16:12,166 --> 00:16:14,686
That was really funny.
354
00:16:15,691 --> 00:16:16,731
Can I have a head start?
355
00:16:16,779 --> 00:16:18,739
Five, four...
356
00:16:18,781 --> 00:16:20,261
Save me, Bill!...three...
357
00:16:20,304 --> 00:16:22,954
Bill's not gonna save you.
358
00:16:24,352 --> 00:16:26,352
[knocking on door]
359
00:16:29,183 --> 00:16:31,533
Oh. Hello, Calvin.
360
00:16:31,576 --> 00:16:36,366
Or should I say Snoop Dogg?
361
00:16:36,407 --> 00:16:39,107
Do you even know who that is?
362
00:16:39,149 --> 00:16:40,419
Of course I do.
363
00:16:40,455 --> 00:16:42,715
He hosts a cooking show
with Martha Stewart.
364
00:16:45,112 --> 00:16:48,202
Well, I'm just here because Tina
forgot her overnight bag.
365
00:16:48,245 --> 00:16:50,425
Well, it's probably still up
in the bedroom. Go ahead.
366
00:16:50,465 --> 00:16:53,115
All right. Cool. Uh...
367
00:16:53,163 --> 00:16:54,463
Dave isn't here, is he?
368
00:16:54,512 --> 00:16:57,212
No, he's out buying
a journal with a lock.
369
00:16:59,778 --> 00:17:03,258
I'll just go upstairs
and get Tina's stuff.
370
00:17:03,304 --> 00:17:05,394
Oh, and, uh,
371
00:17:05,436 --> 00:17:08,526
she told me that, uh,
I'm supposed to give you this.
372
00:17:08,570 --> 00:17:10,360
Five dollars?
373
00:17:10,398 --> 00:17:12,318
Yeah, I accidentally knocked
Dave's toothbrush
374
00:17:12,356 --> 00:17:14,316
into the toilet.
375
00:17:14,358 --> 00:17:16,058
How did that happen?
376
00:17:16,099 --> 00:17:17,629
Just take the money.
377
00:17:27,632 --> 00:17:30,062
The hell are you doing here?
378
00:17:30,113 --> 00:17:32,333
What the hell happened
to the rest of your robe?
379
00:17:34,900 --> 00:17:36,470
Gemma let you in here?
380
00:17:36,511 --> 00:17:38,591
She sure did.
381
00:17:38,643 --> 00:17:42,083
Hold up. Did Tina leave
her bag here on purpose?
382
00:17:42,125 --> 00:17:44,645
She sure did.
383
00:17:44,693 --> 00:17:47,783
The two of you are gonna stay
here until you work this out.
384
00:17:47,826 --> 00:17:49,876
Oh. [scoffs]
The hell I am.
385
00:17:51,308 --> 00:17:53,048
You know you can't
stop me, right?
386
00:17:53,093 --> 00:17:54,743
Bring it.
387
00:17:58,185 --> 00:18:00,495
Dave, we gonna have
to work this out, man.
388
00:18:02,754 --> 00:18:05,664
I'm glad to hear that.
We'll be downstairs.
389
00:18:05,714 --> 00:18:09,764
Oh, and, Dave,
don't brush your teeth.
390
00:18:11,937 --> 00:18:14,287
You know,
none of this would've happened
391
00:18:14,331 --> 00:18:16,721
if you would've just came
and talked to me like a man
392
00:18:16,768 --> 00:18:19,818
instead of writing it down
in your little book.
393
00:18:19,858 --> 00:18:21,818
Well, I wouldn't write about you
394
00:18:21,860 --> 00:18:24,040
if you didn't insult me
all the time.
395
00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:25,390
I don't insult you.
396
00:18:25,429 --> 00:18:27,389
The other day you called me
"flamingo knees."
397
00:18:27,431 --> 00:18:30,521
That's not an insult.
That's a fact.
398
00:18:30,565 --> 00:18:32,785
Stand on one leg. You'll see it.
399
00:18:32,828 --> 00:18:34,788
[mutters]:
Damn it.
400
00:18:37,224 --> 00:18:38,354
You know what your problem is?
401
00:18:38,399 --> 00:18:39,929
You don't care
if you hurt people.
402
00:18:39,965 --> 00:18:41,225
Look, I'm just keeping it real.
403
00:18:41,271 --> 00:18:42,531
Oh, okay, maybe I should just
"keep it real,"
404
00:18:42,577 --> 00:18:44,057
and see how you like it.
405
00:18:44,100 --> 00:18:45,540
Come on. Come at me, Dave.
406
00:18:45,580 --> 00:18:46,630
Your hairline's receding.
407
00:18:49,453 --> 00:18:53,363
Oh. Oh, we keeping it real real.
408
00:18:53,414 --> 00:18:56,454
Yeah, doesn't feel
so good, does it?
409
00:18:56,504 --> 00:18:59,204
Look, man, you can't take
what I say so personal.
410
00:18:59,246 --> 00:19:01,816
Well, uh, then, why do you take
what I wrote so personal?
411
00:19:01,857 --> 00:19:03,727
Because that's
totally different.
How?
412
00:19:03,772 --> 00:19:05,862
What I'm doing to you,
I'm just messing around.
413
00:19:05,904 --> 00:19:07,204
But what you wrote about me,
414
00:19:07,254 --> 00:19:08,994
that was an attack
on my character.
415
00:19:09,038 --> 00:19:13,128
Says the guy who went through
my stuff and read my journal?
416
00:19:14,174 --> 00:19:16,174
Okay. All right, you know...
417
00:19:17,568 --> 00:19:19,528
I mean, you know,
you got me on that one.
418
00:19:19,570 --> 00:19:23,620
You know, I'm... I was wrong
for that, and I apologize.
419
00:19:23,661 --> 00:19:24,831
Thank you.
420
00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:26,930
Look, man,
but I'm the kind of dude
421
00:19:26,969 --> 00:19:28,499
that's always gonna say
what I mean,
422
00:19:28,536 --> 00:19:30,456
so if we're gonna be friends,
423
00:19:30,494 --> 00:19:31,974
you're gonna have
to deal with that.
424
00:19:32,017 --> 00:19:35,847
Okay, fine. But I'm gonna
deal with it my way.
425
00:19:35,891 --> 00:19:37,541
Fine.
426
00:19:37,588 --> 00:19:40,468
You know, 'cause if
you think about it--
427
00:19:40,504 --> 00:19:43,634
and I know a lot of people say
this about me--
428
00:19:43,681 --> 00:19:45,681
I'm just too funny.[laughs]
429
00:19:49,252 --> 00:19:51,252
All right.All right.
430
00:19:51,298 --> 00:19:52,518
We back to being us?
431
00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:54,390
We're good, man.
All right.
432
00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:02,230
[exhales sharply]
433
00:20:08,228 --> 00:20:09,618
You know,
we'll keep working on that.
434
00:20:15,974 --> 00:20:18,414
Oh, since when
did we get Netflix?
435
00:20:18,455 --> 00:20:21,545
Since your dad stole
Dave's password.
436
00:20:21,589 --> 00:20:23,459
Yeah, see, that explains
why the "continue watching"
437
00:20:23,504 --> 00:20:26,594
is Marley & Me.
438
00:20:26,637 --> 00:20:29,557
Come on, Calvin, we're ready
to start the movie!
439
00:20:29,597 --> 00:20:31,167
CALVIN:
I'm coming!
440
00:20:36,168 --> 00:20:39,128
Oh, oh. Marley & Me.
441
00:20:39,171 --> 00:20:40,821
Yeah.
442
00:20:51,401 --> 00:20:53,571
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
443
00:20:53,621 --> 00:20:55,621
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org