1 00:00:00,521 --> 00:00:05,761 All right! 2 00:00:03,998 --> 00:00:08,408 Oh, yeah, there she is. 3 00:00:06,213 --> 00:00:10,323 Look at you looking just like me... 4 00:00:08,696 --> 00:00:12,896 Strong, dark and smokin' hot. 5 00:00:10,355 --> 00:00:16,215 So what do you say, girl? 6 00:00:14,412 --> 00:00:19,262 You ready to bring a little flavor to the neighborhood? 7 00:00:16,239 --> 00:00:22,679 Well, uh, I was just going for a jog, but sure. 8 00:00:20,002 --> 00:00:26,852 I was talking to my smoker, Dave. 9 00:00:24,832 --> 00:00:28,092 Getting ready for the Yardecue 10 00:00:26,878 --> 00:00:29,318 - this weekend. - Oh, yeah. 11 00:00:28,121 --> 00:00:32,031 That's right. Your last Yardecue was the day we moved in. 12 00:00:29,337 --> 00:00:34,487 Can you believe that we've been neighbors for a year? 13 00:00:32,058 --> 00:00:38,028 I know. It feels like so much longer, right? 14 00:00:34,690 --> 00:00:41,620 So, what can I do to help? 15 00:00:39,664 --> 00:00:47,144 Uh, you can start by wearing longer shorts. 16 00:00:43,993 --> 00:00:51,353 The only sausage I want to see around here is on my grill. 17 00:00:48,397 --> 00:00:54,347 Look, 18 00:00:52,911 --> 00:00:57,051 besides, Dave, I'm the big dog around here. 19 00:00:54,372 --> 00:00:59,552 It's my neighborhood, my Yardecue. 20 00:00:57,085 --> 00:01:02,755 Yeah, well, now that I've been here a year, 21 00:00:59,935 --> 00:01:04,565 isn't it our neighborhood? 22 00:01:02,778 --> 00:01:06,078 Couldn't it be our Yardecue? 23 00:01:04,587 --> 00:01:08,467 Or dare I say, Our-decue? 24 00:01:06,101 --> 00:01:10,371 [LAUGHS] 25 00:01:08,490 --> 00:01:12,820 That's... that's funny, man. 26 00:01:10,405 --> 00:01:14,355 No. 27 00:01:12,836 --> 00:01:16,456 Well, hold on. Calvin, come on. 28 00:01:15,059 --> 00:01:19,249 - I really want to be a part of it. - [SCOFFS] 29 00:01:16,476 --> 00:01:20,886 All right, fine. What do you want to do? 30 00:01:19,272 --> 00:01:22,672 Well, you know, I don't mean to brag, 31 00:01:20,953 --> 00:01:24,123 but back home in Kalamazoo, 32 00:01:22,696 --> 00:01:27,066 I was kind of known for my barbecue. [LAUGHS] 33 00:01:24,154 --> 00:01:29,674 We called it "Kalama-Q." 34 00:01:27,499 --> 00:01:32,749 Yeah, you're on napkins. 35 00:01:30,871 --> 00:01:36,661 Come on. An-Any chump could bring a bag of napkins. 36 00:01:33,868 --> 00:01:38,088 You said it, I didn't. 37 00:01:36,690 --> 00:01:41,710 Well, at least put me in charge of desserts or drinks, 38 00:01:38,337 --> 00:01:43,637 or what about music? 39 00:01:41,733 --> 00:01:46,413 Okay. Okay, fine. 40 00:01:44,093 --> 00:01:47,913 May-Maybe not music, 41 00:01:46,437 --> 00:01:50,377 but putting me on napkin duty feels like... 42 00:01:47,942 --> 00:01:52,892 I don't know... a waste of my talents. 43 00:01:50,422 --> 00:01:55,092 Okay, well, uh, 44 00:01:53,179 --> 00:01:56,409 you want to do plates, too? 45 00:01:55,117 --> 00:01:57,897 All right, plates. 46 00:01:56,429 --> 00:01:59,289 Got my foot in the door. 47 00:01:58,046 --> 00:02:00,386 [LAUGHS] 48 00:01:59,313 --> 00:02:03,113 Great. Now go put your foot in some pants! 49 00:02:00,415 --> 00:02:07,145 ♪ Welcome to the block, welcome to the neighborhood ♪ 50 00:02:04,816 --> 00:02:09,206 ♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪ 51 00:02:07,172 --> 00:02:12,412 - Hey, Ma. - Hi, Mama. 52 00:02:10,891 --> 00:02:14,571 - Hey, boys. How was work? - Oh, it was great! 53 00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:16,090 One of our satellites discovered water... 54 00:02:14,602 --> 00:02:17,832 Not you, Marty. I meant Malcolm. 55 00:02:16,107 --> 00:02:21,957 Oh, it was kind of cool, Ma. 56 00:02:20,246 --> 00:02:23,456 I like being a security guard. 57 00:02:21,978 --> 00:02:24,718 Today, I got to handcuff somebody 58 00:02:23,483 --> 00:02:26,623 who tried to sneak in without their ID badge. 59 00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:27,655 Ooh. 60 00:02:26,652 --> 00:02:29,862 Hey, man, I told you, I left it in the car! 61 00:02:27,684 --> 00:02:34,564 Well, how was I supposed to know you was telling the truth? 62 00:02:31,755 --> 00:02:36,595 You saw it in the cup holder 63 00:02:35,331 --> 00:02:38,101 when I drove you to work. 64 00:02:36,625 --> 00:02:39,655 [LAUGHS] 65 00:02:38,130 --> 00:02:42,600 You know what? Thank you for getting me the job, little bro, 66 00:02:40,209 --> 00:02:45,889 and, uh, don't forget your badge tomorrow. [LAUGHS] 67 00:02:42,617 --> 00:02:47,927 Yeah, Marty. Be more professional. 68 00:02:45,910 --> 00:02:49,380 What?! 69 00:02:47,946 --> 00:02:51,386 All right. 70 00:02:50,024 --> 00:02:54,344 Well, my smoker's clean, my knives are sharp, 71 00:02:51,415 --> 00:02:55,815 and my playlist is ready. 72 00:02:54,373 --> 00:02:57,513 I'm gonna start out with a little Earth, Wind & Fire. 73 00:02:55,844 --> 00:02:58,334 Okay. 74 00:02:57,539 --> 00:03:00,039 And I'm gonna end it with some Jimmy Buffett. 75 00:02:58,365 --> 00:03:01,615 - Jimmy Buffett? - Jimmy Buffett? 76 00:03:00,062 --> 00:03:04,552 It cracks me up to see Dave dance. 77 00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:07,342 - Okay. - Okay.[LAUGHTER] 78 00:03:04,578 --> 00:03:09,448 Okay. Okay. 79 00:03:07,515 --> 00:03:10,545 Okay. 80 00:03:09,475 --> 00:03:12,125 - All right. - Aw. Baby, 81 00:03:10,572 --> 00:03:15,472 I'm so proud of you for letting him be a part of the Yardecue. 82 00:03:12,149 --> 00:03:17,699 Whoa. Wait a minute. You're letting Dave help out? 83 00:03:15,503 --> 00:03:18,923 Oh, it's nothing. 84 00:03:17,718 --> 00:03:20,758 I'm just letting him bring napkins and plates. 85 00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:24,559 Uh, wait, wait, Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 86 00:03:22,328 --> 00:03:26,778 You gave Dave napkins and plates? 87 00:03:24,580 --> 00:03:29,680 I've been stuck on folding chairs for ten years! 88 00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:31,984 And when you get that right, 89 00:03:30,097 --> 00:03:34,317 I'll give you napkins and plates. 90 00:03:32,010 --> 00:03:36,310 Uh, wait a minute. 91 00:03:34,929 --> 00:03:38,789 Admit it, Pop. You like Dave. 92 00:03:36,334 --> 00:03:40,994 - [SCOFFS] - Yeah. 93 00:03:39,006 --> 00:03:43,096 - What?! What?! - Yeah. Mm-hmm. 94 00:03:41,024 --> 00:03:44,314 - ALL: Yeah. - [SCOFFS] 95 00:03:43,118 --> 00:03:46,558 Don't nobody like no damn Dave. 96 00:03:44,344 --> 00:03:47,904 [LAUGHTER] 97 00:03:46,584 --> 00:03:49,504 Baby, you two look pretty happy 98 00:03:47,931 --> 00:03:51,631 in your photo at the top of Splash Mountain. 99 00:03:49,527 --> 00:03:52,967 MALCOLM AND MARTY: Mm-hmm. 100 00:03:51,656 --> 00:03:54,536 He just got sprayed in the face 101 00:03:52,987 --> 00:03:56,127 by the mechanical rabbit. 102 00:03:54,559 --> 00:03:58,069 It's why I bought the photo. 103 00:03:56,150 --> 00:04:01,460 Okay, uh, what about that farmer's market 104 00:03:59,061 --> 00:04:03,631 - y'all went to last Sunday? - Ah. Oh. 105 00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:06,430 It's a farmer's market. You got to take a white dude. 106 00:04:03,663 --> 00:04:10,693 Baby, there's no shame in admitting that you like him. 107 00:04:08,111 --> 00:04:12,531 - Yeah, he's a good guy, Dad. - TINA: Yeah. 108 00:04:10,719 --> 00:04:13,969 And he's a good neighbor. 109 00:04:12,557 --> 00:04:17,417 Fine. I mean, maybe he a'ight. 110 00:04:14,306 --> 00:04:19,266 He's all right. 111 00:04:17,436 --> 00:04:20,906 ALL: Oh... 112 00:04:19,289 --> 00:04:22,969 you love him! 113 00:04:20,935 --> 00:04:24,105 You love him! 114 00:04:22,992 --> 00:04:25,672 - [LAUGHS] - Want to be together. 115 00:04:24,128 --> 00:04:26,878 MARTY: Oh, that feeling. 116 00:04:25,696 --> 00:04:28,736 [LAUGHS] 117 00:04:26,901 --> 00:04:34,171 [KNOCKING AT DOOR] 118 00:04:31,970 --> 00:04:37,670 - Hey, Tina. - What's up, Gemma? 119 00:04:35,768 --> 00:04:39,088 Can I borrow some milk? 120 00:04:37,691 --> 00:04:40,381 Sure. What kind do you want? 121 00:04:39,109 --> 00:04:43,199 We have almond, oat, coconut, macadamia. 122 00:04:40,407 --> 00:04:44,967 Oh, so you don't have milk? 123 00:04:43,526 --> 00:04:46,236 I'll just go to the store. 124 00:04:44,988 --> 00:04:49,138 Hang on, hang on! Before you go, 125 00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:50,983 I got you a present. 126 00:04:49,243 --> 00:04:53,883 It's for our one-year anniversary as friends. 127 00:04:51,347 --> 00:04:55,407 Oh, that's so sweet. 128 00:04:53,909 --> 00:04:57,789 I didn't get you anything. I feel bad. 129 00:04:55,429 --> 00:04:59,259 Oh, you don't have to feel bad. 130 00:04:57,812 --> 00:05:01,432 - I... - Let me see what you got! 131 00:04:59,276 --> 00:05:04,136 [LAUGHS] 132 00:05:02,129 --> 00:05:07,589 It's a... It's a, uh... 133 00:05:04,579 --> 00:05:08,949 Peasant blouse! 134 00:05:07,614 --> 00:05:10,894 Exactly! 135 00:05:08,969 --> 00:05:14,039 It's just like the one I have that you complimented me on. 136 00:05:11,494 --> 00:05:17,494 Oh, what a good memory you have. 137 00:05:14,062 --> 00:05:20,862 Do you love it? 138 00:05:19,269 --> 00:05:23,529 Well, to be honest... 139 00:05:20,892 --> 00:05:25,232 not really. 140 00:05:23,670 --> 00:05:26,790 No, no, no, but listen. 141 00:05:25,262 --> 00:05:29,462 I really appreciate the thought, honestly. 142 00:05:26,806 --> 00:05:32,126 Oh. I'm sorry. 143 00:05:30,341 --> 00:05:34,721 I just... I figured you would like it. 144 00:05:32,154 --> 00:05:37,194 And maybe we'd be twinsies. 145 00:05:35,258 --> 00:05:39,698 Gemma, you don't have to be sorry. 146 00:05:37,740 --> 00:05:41,500 I mean, we're not gonna always like the gifts 147 00:05:39,717 --> 00:05:42,577 that we give each other. 148 00:05:41,519 --> 00:05:45,159 Like those hoop earrings that I gave you that you hate. 149 00:05:42,604 --> 00:05:46,924 [LAUGHS] 150 00:05:45,182 --> 00:05:49,082 I don't hate those earrings. 151 00:05:47,632 --> 00:05:51,692 I love them. 152 00:05:49,108 --> 00:05:55,028 Please. 153 00:05:53,614 --> 00:05:58,084 Well... I do. 154 00:05:55,810 --> 00:05:59,720 So why don't you ever wear them? 155 00:05:58,109 --> 00:06:02,619 I was just waiting for a special occasion. 156 00:05:59,999 --> 00:06:04,079 - Okay. - Like 157 00:06:02,637 --> 00:06:07,107 Grover's third grade graduation, or his wedding. 158 00:06:04,103 --> 00:06:10,453 All right, I'll see you later. 159 00:06:08,544 --> 00:06:12,924 Wait. Since you don't like the blouse, I'll just take it back. 160 00:06:10,479 --> 00:06:15,439 No, no, no. I'm gonna save it for a special occasion, 161 00:06:12,954 --> 00:06:17,394 like Grover's wedding. 162 00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:23,158 [OLD-FASHIONED ROCK INSTRUMENTAL PLAYS] 163 00:06:20,229 --> 00:06:25,419 [WHISTLES] 164 00:06:23,183 --> 00:06:28,843 [DOOR CLOSES] 165 00:06:27,627 --> 00:06:30,537 DAVE: Hey, Calvin, you in the kitchen? 166 00:06:28,980 --> 00:06:34,000 Oh, we just letting ourselves into each other's houses now? 167 00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:37,130 Picked up the napkins and the plates. 168 00:06:35,150 --> 00:06:38,610 Went with the clear ones 169 00:06:37,298 --> 00:06:40,568 so you can see the food from both sides. 170 00:06:38,629 --> 00:06:43,139 [LAUGHS] 171 00:06:40,659 --> 00:06:45,199 Ooh, looks like you're making your sauce. 172 00:06:43,253 --> 00:06:46,853 Yeah, that's right. 173 00:06:45,287 --> 00:06:49,317 Everyone back at home loved my sauce. 174 00:06:46,897 --> 00:06:51,397 I have a secret ingredient. 175 00:06:49,592 --> 00:06:53,562 Oh, good. Why don't you keep it a secret? 176 00:06:51,539 --> 00:06:55,289 [LAUGHS] 177 00:06:53,587 --> 00:06:57,507 All right, you dragged it out of me. 178 00:06:55,371 --> 00:07:01,091 It's Worcestershire sauce. 179 00:06:59,332 --> 00:07:02,672 Look, Sorry, Dave, 180 00:07:01,274 --> 00:07:04,754 but I'm not using anything in my sauce 181 00:07:02,705 --> 00:07:06,865 that has the word "worst" in it. 182 00:07:04,776 --> 00:07:08,696 Are you sure? 183 00:07:07,426 --> 00:07:11,616 Because this stuff gives the meat a certain tang. 184 00:07:08,721 --> 00:07:12,661 Hey, hey. 185 00:07:11,643 --> 00:07:14,253 You keep your tang away from my meat. 186 00:07:12,693 --> 00:07:17,303 Okay, Calvin, you know, you're not the only one 187 00:07:14,769 --> 00:07:19,469 around here who knows how to make ribs. 188 00:07:17,326 --> 00:07:20,686 Come on, Dave. 189 00:07:19,486 --> 00:07:23,366 I mean, how would you feel if I showed up in Kalamazoo 190 00:07:20,708 --> 00:07:27,658 and started hosting one of your, uh, pumpkin festivals? 191 00:07:23,390 --> 00:07:31,000 Calvin, one call, and I can make that happen. 192 00:07:27,682 --> 00:07:35,012 That's a big no-go to both, okay? 193 00:07:31,899 --> 00:07:37,399 All right, but, uh, 194 00:07:35,044 --> 00:07:40,614 you don't know what you're, uh, "Michigan." 195 00:07:37,422 --> 00:07:45,992 Come on. You laughed at that at the farmer's market! 196 00:07:43,082 --> 00:07:51,072 [UPBEAT ROCK PLAYS, INDISTINCT, OVERLAPPING CHATTER] 197 00:07:47,841 --> 00:07:53,921 Calvin, why do you tell everyone to show up at noon 198 00:07:51,216 --> 00:07:55,866 if the ribs aren't ready till 3:00? 199 00:07:53,947 --> 00:07:58,137 Because I know this neighborhood, 200 00:07:55,959 --> 00:08:01,429 and if I told y'all 3:00, you wouldn't show up till 5:00. 201 00:07:58,165 --> 00:08:05,035 Why? 'Cause we black? 202 00:08:02,797 --> 00:08:06,507 Yeah. 203 00:08:05,292 --> 00:08:09,062 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 204 00:08:06,535 --> 00:08:14,005 Hey, Grover. 205 00:08:12,609 --> 00:08:15,789 I like your haircut. 206 00:08:14,031 --> 00:08:17,591 What are you talking about? 207 00:08:15,811 --> 00:08:19,191 I didn't get a haircut. 208 00:08:17,624 --> 00:08:21,924 Well, it looks nice. 209 00:08:20,132 --> 00:08:25,032 I'm gonna be over here. 210 00:08:22,213 --> 00:08:27,693 Hey, Grover, Grover. 211 00:08:26,350 --> 00:08:29,320 Come on over here, man. 212 00:08:27,722 --> 00:08:31,812 We saw you over there talking to Kayla Watkins. 213 00:08:29,470 --> 00:08:34,420 - Mm-hmm. - No. Blech! 214 00:08:31,838 --> 00:08:36,978 I think she likes you. 215 00:08:35,466 --> 00:08:38,346 Really? 216 00:08:37,002 --> 00:08:40,722 [LAUGHS] Yeah, man. 217 00:08:38,370 --> 00:08:42,210 Are you sure? 218 00:08:40,755 --> 00:08:45,295 'Cause she punched me in the arm yesterday. 219 00:08:42,227 --> 00:08:47,677 BOTH: Oh. 220 00:08:45,713 --> 00:08:49,763 You got a girlfriend. 221 00:08:47,934 --> 00:09:02,024 Oh. Hey, Tina. 222 00:09:00,046 --> 00:09:05,656 Oh. I see you're wearing the earrings. 223 00:09:03,162 --> 00:09:08,022 I didn't know Grover was getting married today. 224 00:09:05,683 --> 00:09:10,833 Well, I realized 225 00:09:09,472 --> 00:09:13,242 a lot of the neighbors here don't know my name. 226 00:09:10,863 --> 00:09:16,133 They will now. 227 00:09:14,185 --> 00:09:18,035 Oh, come on, Gemma. 228 00:09:16,614 --> 00:09:20,744 I told you you don't have to pretend to like them. 229 00:09:18,061 --> 00:09:22,871 I got them for you before I knew your style. 230 00:09:20,772 --> 00:09:25,502 How can you say that? They are totally me. 231 00:09:22,903 --> 00:09:27,483 - Ow. - Oh. 232 00:09:26,231 --> 00:09:29,121 Ow, ow, ow! It's caught on my sleeve. 233 00:09:27,512 --> 00:09:31,482 - Oh. Uh, okay, okay. - Ow. Ah, ow. 234 00:09:29,146 --> 00:09:33,296 - Ow. Ow! - Okay, well, don't... 235 00:09:31,512 --> 00:09:36,792 Calvin, how much longer we got to wait for those ribs, man? 236 00:09:33,697 --> 00:09:38,217 Ten minutes. 237 00:09:36,817 --> 00:09:40,237 You said that ten minutes ago! 238 00:09:38,282 --> 00:09:43,652 And what you gonna do about it? 239 00:09:41,599 --> 00:09:46,049 I'm gonna go get some chips. 240 00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:50,345 See, all y'all need to learn some patience. 241 00:09:47,316 --> 00:09:53,116 You get ribs when I give you ribs. 242 00:09:50,371 --> 00:09:55,491 It ain't like you got another choice. 243 00:09:53,141 --> 00:09:58,761 Come on, everybody. Who's ready for some ribs?! 244 00:09:56,104 --> 00:10:03,374 Take Jimmy Buffett off the playlist! 245 00:10:01,299 --> 00:10:09,879 Get back. Get-get-get, y'all get away from them ribs. Get back. 246 00:10:06,861 --> 00:10:12,821 You! You. You. 247 00:10:09,903 --> 00:10:14,693 Calvin, what are you doing? 248 00:10:12,924 --> 00:10:17,214 What am I doing? What are you doing? 249 00:10:14,719 --> 00:10:18,539 Oh, I-I know, I know. 250 00:10:17,239 --> 00:10:20,149 But I just... I couldn't help myself. 251 00:10:18,557 --> 00:10:22,037 Besides, what's wrong with a little variety? 252 00:10:20,174 --> 00:10:23,924 Variety sound good to me. 253 00:10:22,059 --> 00:10:26,129 Stop testing me, Trey. 254 00:10:24,355 --> 00:10:28,405 Calvin, come on. 255 00:10:26,785 --> 00:10:29,695 People want to try them. 256 00:10:28,431 --> 00:10:32,041 Let them have a little taste of my tang. 257 00:10:29,769 --> 00:10:35,859 I told you not to do this. 258 00:10:33,952 --> 00:10:37,622 Come on, man, you crossed the line here. 259 00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:39,905 Why are you making such a big deal out of this? 260 00:10:37,879 --> 00:10:41,779 Calvin, I'm a part of this neighborhood, too. 261 00:10:39,998 --> 00:10:42,748 [CHUCKLES] 262 00:10:41,797 --> 00:10:43,877 Just because you live here 263 00:10:42,773 --> 00:10:46,023 doesn't mean you're a part of the neighborhood. 264 00:10:43,898 --> 00:10:48,238 - Well, I disagree. - Oh, really? 265 00:10:46,233 --> 00:10:51,263 - Uh, what's Trey's real name? - Leslie. 266 00:10:48,301 --> 00:10:58,971 And what did Old Miss Kim's third husband die of? 267 00:10:55,080 --> 00:11:00,640 Diabetes, but... 268 00:10:59,002 --> 00:11:02,922 some say Old Miss Kim. 269 00:11:00,949 --> 00:11:07,019 Which neighbor danced with MC Hammer? 270 00:11:04,581 --> 00:11:08,501 Again, Old Miss Kim. 271 00:11:07,036 --> 00:11:10,786 Oh, so we just telling 272 00:11:09,306 --> 00:11:12,886 everybody business now? 273 00:11:10,806 --> 00:11:15,326 You know, 274 00:11:14,113 --> 00:11:17,913 maybe I'm more a part of this neighborhood 275 00:11:15,355 --> 00:11:19,125 than you thought, Calvin. 276 00:11:17,936 --> 00:11:20,786 You know what, I don't care. 277 00:11:19,151 --> 00:11:22,571 I want you and your ribs 278 00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:24,304 to get out of my yard. 279 00:11:22,603 --> 00:11:25,823 Go. 280 00:11:24,635 --> 00:11:27,875 Okay, fine. Fine. 281 00:11:25,846 --> 00:11:30,866 But if anybody wants some, they'll be right over here. 282 00:11:27,899 --> 00:11:32,429 In my yard. 283 00:11:30,892 --> 00:11:33,842 [CHUCKLES]: You know what? 284 00:11:32,453 --> 00:11:35,713 You can stay out there all day. 285 00:11:33,868 --> 00:11:37,968 Nobody's gonna eat your barbecue 286 00:11:35,736 --> 00:11:39,896 because they'll be too busy 287 00:11:37,989 --> 00:11:40,959 eating mine! 288 00:11:39,917 --> 00:11:42,577 - All right! All right, yeah! - Hey, yeah! 289 00:11:40,985 --> 00:11:44,235 In, like, ten minutes, guys. 290 00:11:42,601 --> 00:11:46,181 [ALL GROAN] 291 00:11:44,256 --> 00:11:50,486 Come on, Grover. Don't be shy. 292 00:11:48,448 --> 00:11:52,698 Just go over there and talk to her. 293 00:11:50,511 --> 00:11:54,131 Okay. 294 00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:57,500 But do I tell her she's stupid or she's gross? 295 00:11:54,161 --> 00:12:00,611 Uh, fair question. 296 00:11:59,011 --> 00:12:03,341 I was thinking "I like your smile," 297 00:12:00,636 --> 00:12:05,606 - but you do you, man. - Yeah. 298 00:12:03,367 --> 00:12:06,937 Hey, listen, man, 299 00:12:05,722 --> 00:12:08,892 opening lines are always the hardest part. 300 00:12:06,965 --> 00:12:10,085 Yeah, you just got to be cool. 301 00:12:08,921 --> 00:12:12,121 A-And tell her something about yourself. 302 00:12:10,108 --> 00:12:14,828 Well, I'm starting third grade, 303 00:12:12,151 --> 00:12:16,581 and I like lizards. 304 00:12:14,850 --> 00:12:18,230 - Oh! - Sounds to me 305 00:12:16,611 --> 00:12:20,031 like you got this in the bag. 306 00:12:18,250 --> 00:12:23,000 - I got you, little brother. - No? Okay, all right. 307 00:12:20,508 --> 00:12:27,118 What are you doing? 308 00:12:25,344 --> 00:12:29,554 Icing my ear. 309 00:12:27,894 --> 00:12:31,544 I hugged Old Miss Kim, and it got caught 310 00:12:29,581 --> 00:12:34,281 on what everyone now knows is a wig. 311 00:12:31,566 --> 00:12:37,446 Gemma, just take them off. 312 00:12:35,544 --> 00:12:40,664 No. I was taught that when someone gives you a present, 313 00:12:37,695 --> 00:12:43,305 the right thing to do is to show you appreciate it. 314 00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:46,103 Well, I was taught that honesty is the best policy. 315 00:12:43,329 --> 00:12:48,429 Well, then, I guess I was just raised differently. 316 00:12:46,126 --> 00:12:51,096 ALL: Ooh! 317 00:12:48,795 --> 00:12:55,125 She just call your mama a ho. 318 00:12:53,506 --> 00:12:58,146 What?! No, I didn't! 319 00:12:55,153 --> 00:12:59,463 That's what I heard. 320 00:12:58,174 --> 00:13:01,964 No! No, no, no, no. Wait! 321 00:12:59,659 --> 00:13:05,749 Wait, I-I just meant that we were raised in separate worlds. 322 00:13:01,993 --> 00:13:07,933 You know, separate but equal. 323 00:13:05,767 --> 00:13:10,767 [ALL GROAN] 324 00:13:08,198 --> 00:13:12,658 Okay, let's get you inside 325 00:13:11,072 --> 00:13:15,122 before you have to ice more than your ear. Come on. 326 00:13:12,677 --> 00:13:17,437 - This way. This way. - Okay. 327 00:13:15,153 --> 00:13:18,753 - Don't you... - Smell that? 328 00:13:17,456 --> 00:13:21,176 Delicious Michigan barbecue right over here. 329 00:13:18,776 --> 00:13:23,956 Hey! Hey, you keep the smell of your ribs off my property. 330 00:13:21,204 --> 00:13:26,444 Come on, everyone. Try something new. 331 00:13:24,054 --> 00:13:30,044 Or stick with tradition and don't be a sellout. 332 00:13:26,469 --> 00:13:32,409 What the hell are you doing, Uncle Tom? 333 00:13:30,685 --> 00:13:33,645 Whoa! 334 00:13:32,429 --> 00:13:35,369 Calvin, don't you think that's a little harsh? 335 00:13:33,669 --> 00:13:37,059 No. 336 00:13:35,622 --> 00:13:38,902 That's my Uncle Tom. 337 00:13:37,078 --> 00:13:42,408 And you would know that 338 00:13:40,709 --> 00:13:44,779 if you were really a part of this neighborhood. 339 00:13:42,431 --> 00:13:47,161 - Man, forget this. I'm hungry. - Trey, 340 00:13:44,845 --> 00:13:48,365 if you cross that line, 341 00:13:47,192 --> 00:13:50,572 I'm-a tell child support you got a job. 342 00:13:48,392 --> 00:13:55,412 Now, Dave, you can stand out here all day. 343 00:13:52,455 --> 00:13:58,655 But as long as I'm here, nobody's crossing that line. 344 00:13:55,438 --> 00:14:00,488 Okay, fine, Calvin. 345 00:13:58,814 --> 00:14:04,484 It's your neighborhood, your Yardecue. 346 00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:10,574 But I'm taking these napkins with me! 347 00:14:08,315 --> 00:14:12,735 Somebody find Marty. 348 00:14:11,483 --> 00:14:14,423 He just got a promotion. 349 00:14:12,763 --> 00:14:18,963 Uh, hey, Kayla. 350 00:14:16,874 --> 00:14:20,314 Hey, Grover. 351 00:14:19,007 --> 00:14:23,227 So, uh... you like lizards? 352 00:14:20,356 --> 00:14:25,246 No. 353 00:14:23,975 --> 00:14:27,655 [SCOFFS] Me, neither. 354 00:14:25,271 --> 00:14:30,861 Um... 355 00:14:29,346 --> 00:14:33,596 are you excited about starting third grade? 356 00:14:30,894 --> 00:14:34,674 Totally. 357 00:14:33,624 --> 00:14:36,344 Yeah, me, too. 358 00:14:34,700 --> 00:14:43,190 I asked you about lizards, right? 359 00:14:41,094 --> 00:14:46,264 Check out little man. 360 00:14:44,795 --> 00:14:47,635 Got her over there smiling. 361 00:14:46,291 --> 00:14:48,671 Yeah, man. 362 00:14:47,663 --> 00:14:50,653 Clearly our swag is contagious. 363 00:14:48,697 --> 00:14:53,297 [LAUGHS] We do make a pretty good team. 364 00:14:50,681 --> 00:14:54,881 Hey, Malcolm. Hey, Marty. 365 00:14:53,322 --> 00:14:56,342 Looking good. 366 00:14:54,913 --> 00:14:58,693 - Yeah, thank you. - Oh, thank you. 367 00:14:57,292 --> 00:15:00,162 Appreciate that, young lady. 368 00:14:58,717 --> 00:15:01,577 - I was... - [CHUCKLES, CLEARS THROAT] 369 00:15:00,186 --> 00:15:02,736 Oh, wait, why were you saying thank you? 370 00:15:01,598 --> 00:15:03,808 She was talking to me. 371 00:15:02,757 --> 00:15:06,387 Uh, no, she wasn't. She was clearly talking to me. 372 00:15:03,827 --> 00:15:09,207 Well, if she was talking to you, why was she looking at me? 373 00:15:06,407 --> 00:15:11,027 Uh, because I am so good-looking, 374 00:15:09,230 --> 00:15:13,030 she couldn't believe we're related. 375 00:15:11,055 --> 00:15:16,575 Damn, Calvin. 376 00:15:14,915 --> 00:15:18,415 Your ribs are worth the wait. 377 00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:20,880 That's what I been trying to tell y'all. 378 00:15:18,444 --> 00:15:23,494 Who does that guy think he is? 379 00:15:21,639 --> 00:15:26,029 Bringing his weak-ass ribs to your Yardecue. 380 00:15:23,518 --> 00:15:27,438 [LAUGHS] I know, right? 381 00:15:26,049 --> 00:15:29,079 And who buys clear plates? 382 00:15:27,457 --> 00:15:31,927 You're showing the ants exactly what you got. 383 00:15:29,101 --> 00:15:35,211 I'm glad you put him in his place. 384 00:15:33,091 --> 00:15:37,401 Now he knows not to show up here next year. 385 00:15:35,237 --> 00:15:39,487 Well, I didn't say all that. 386 00:15:37,435 --> 00:15:41,525 That's what I heard. 387 00:15:39,683 --> 00:15:46,123 Well, if you ask me, that dude's a clown. 388 00:15:43,690 --> 00:15:48,860 Whoa. Whoa, Dave is not a clown. 389 00:15:46,152 --> 00:15:50,502 He may overstep, 390 00:15:48,876 --> 00:15:53,616 but actually, he's kind of my friend. 391 00:15:50,534 --> 00:15:55,834 If that's how you treat your friends, 392 00:15:53,714 --> 00:15:57,654 I hate to see how you treat your enemy. 393 00:15:55,856 --> 00:16:00,066 Well, let me show you. Give me that. 394 00:15:57,884 --> 00:16:02,864 Go on, now. Go. 395 00:16:00,762 --> 00:16:08,002 Mmm. 396 00:16:06,498 --> 00:16:09,458 Yeah. 397 00:16:08,031 --> 00:16:11,741 That's all right right there, boy. 398 00:16:09,752 --> 00:16:15,452 TINA: Okay. 399 00:16:13,672 --> 00:16:17,942 I've got some rubbing alcohol for you 400 00:16:15,481 --> 00:16:20,141 and some drinking alcohol for me. 401 00:16:17,973 --> 00:16:21,873 [CHUCKLES] 402 00:16:20,174 --> 00:16:23,814 Tina, I'm so sorry for what I said. 403 00:16:21,897 --> 00:16:24,867 Oh. 404 00:16:23,842 --> 00:16:27,142 Could you please explain to me what I said? 405 00:16:24,889 --> 00:16:31,069 Look, when a white person says to a black person 406 00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:32,820 they were raised "different," 407 00:16:31,093 --> 00:16:35,413 it's like saying they were raised better. 408 00:16:32,928 --> 00:16:37,228 Oh, my God. 409 00:16:35,746 --> 00:16:39,176 I wasn't raised better than you. 410 00:16:37,269 --> 00:16:40,709 I'm from Hickory Corners. 411 00:16:39,205 --> 00:16:42,205 My mom chews tobacco. 412 00:16:40,726 --> 00:16:43,696 [LAUGHS] 413 00:16:42,226 --> 00:16:46,556 - It's okay. You didn't offend me - .Ow. 414 00:16:44,472 --> 00:16:47,982 I know your heart. 415 00:16:46,578 --> 00:16:49,798 But if anybody asks, I beat your ass. 416 00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:52,348 [CHUCKLES] Deal. 417 00:16:49,820 --> 00:16:53,510 All right. 418 00:16:52,371 --> 00:16:55,961 And I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you 419 00:16:53,528 --> 00:16:57,818 by telling you I didn't like your gift. 420 00:16:55,992 --> 00:16:59,282 That's okay. 421 00:16:57,923 --> 00:17:00,833 I know your heart, too. 422 00:16:59,313 --> 00:17:02,163 Thank you. 423 00:17:00,862 --> 00:17:04,872 But why did you tell me it looked cute on me? 424 00:17:02,501 --> 00:17:06,791 Okay. 425 00:17:05,456 --> 00:17:09,786 Here we go. See, on you, 426 00:17:06,822 --> 00:17:12,052 Little House on the Prairie. 427 00:17:09,967 --> 00:17:14,847 On me, 12 Years a Slave. 428 00:17:12,077 --> 00:17:17,647 - Get it? - Oh. 429 00:17:16,123 --> 00:17:19,573 - Yeah. - Yeah. 430 00:17:17,673 --> 00:17:27,373 I don't care what he thinks. 431 00:17:25,614 --> 00:17:29,114 I like the tang. 432 00:17:27,461 --> 00:17:33,031 Hey, Dave. 433 00:17:31,382 --> 00:17:36,682 Oh, I guess we're just walking into each other's houses now. 434 00:17:33,462 --> 00:17:39,102 [CHUCKLES] Come on, man. 435 00:17:36,708 --> 00:17:40,748 Now, it doesn't have to be like this. 436 00:17:39,132 --> 00:17:42,072 Are you kidding? 437 00:17:40,770 --> 00:17:44,720 You humiliated me in front of everyone. 438 00:17:42,383 --> 00:17:47,843 Well, you disrespected me when you showed up with your ribs. 439 00:17:44,848 --> 00:17:49,658 Oh, you want to talk about disrespect? 440 00:17:47,866 --> 00:17:52,846 I offered to help you out, and you gave me napkins. 441 00:17:49,689 --> 00:17:54,989 I mean, sure, I knocked napkins 442 00:17:53,029 --> 00:17:57,219 straight out of the park, but... 443 00:17:55,011 --> 00:17:59,251 Come on, Dave. 444 00:17:57,728 --> 00:18:01,408 Look, you got to look at this from where I'm standing. 445 00:17:59,276 --> 00:18:04,326 I've been hosting the Yardecue for a decade. 446 00:18:01,587 --> 00:18:07,217 Now, here you come, just trying to take it over. 447 00:18:04,354 --> 00:18:09,844 That's not what I'm trying to do at all. 448 00:18:07,238 --> 00:18:11,878 I just want to be a part of the neighborhood. 449 00:18:09,997 --> 00:18:13,587 Look, I know, all right? 450 00:18:11,899 --> 00:18:15,359 But you just got here. 451 00:18:13,612 --> 00:18:16,902 You haven't earned it yet. 452 00:18:15,378 --> 00:18:18,508 It took me 20 years 453 00:18:16,931 --> 00:18:20,181 to be put in charge of the Yardecue. 454 00:18:18,528 --> 00:18:22,388 Three people had to die. 455 00:18:20,211 --> 00:18:26,611 Two of old age and one of Old Miss Kim. 456 00:18:23,286 --> 00:18:30,826 Look, man, what I'm saying 457 00:18:29,347 --> 00:18:34,837 is that people have been waiting a long time, 458 00:18:30,852 --> 00:18:36,952 and you just can't go skipping the line. 459 00:18:34,865 --> 00:18:38,915 That's not what you told me at Disneyland. 460 00:18:36,997 --> 00:18:45,397 But I gotcha. 461 00:18:43,927 --> 00:18:46,557 Good. We're cool? 462 00:18:45,419 --> 00:18:48,379 - Yeah, we're cool. - Cool, man. 463 00:18:46,579 --> 00:18:50,269 Come on, let's go back outside and have a beer. 464 00:18:48,399 --> 00:18:51,749 - Man, come on. - Okay. 465 00:18:50,290 --> 00:18:53,100 Hey, so, next year... 466 00:18:51,768 --> 00:18:54,148 potato salad? 467 00:18:53,118 --> 00:18:55,708 I'll give you ice. 468 00:18:54,169 --> 00:18:59,789 Marty's gonna be so jealous. 469 00:18:57,451 --> 00:19:07,941 Hey, Vanessa. 470 00:19:06,355 --> 00:19:09,465 Hey, guys. What's up? 471 00:19:07,971 --> 00:19:10,911 When-when you walked by, 472 00:19:09,491 --> 00:19:13,901 - uh, earlier... - Earlier, we was just wondering... 473 00:19:10,941 --> 00:19:15,771 You know, um... Which one of us... 474 00:19:13,930 --> 00:19:17,500 Amateurs. 475 00:19:15,796 --> 00:19:23,176 See? I told you 476 00:19:21,644 --> 00:19:24,634 you could rock those earrings. 477 00:19:23,198 --> 00:19:26,528 You just needed to adjust your look. 478 00:19:24,659 --> 00:19:28,559 And I told you you could rock that blouse. 479 00:19:26,549 --> 00:19:30,419 You just needed the right accessories. 480 00:19:28,582 --> 00:19:32,782 - [CHUCKLES] - What up, Harriet Tubman? 481 00:19:30,444 --> 00:19:37,064 Aw, hell, no. 482 00:19:35,828 --> 00:19:42,578 - Synced and corrected by martythecrazy - - www.addic7ed.com - 483 00:19:37,577 --> 00:19:45,117 So? What do you think? 484 00:19:42,874 --> 00:19:48,584 I got to admit, Dave, not bad. 485 00:19:46,004 --> 00:19:51,584 I told you you'd like my tang. 486 00:19:49,521 --> 00:19:53,991 That's it. I'm done.