1
00:00:02,890 --> 00:00:05,645
Dave, look at all these hipsters.

2
00:00:05,670 --> 00:00:07,473
Are we cool enough to be here?

3
00:00:07,498 --> 00:00:09,281
Oh, yeah. Look, you know, Gemma,

4
00:00:09,306 --> 00:00:13,452
some people need mustaches
and suspenders to feel cool.

5
00:00:13,477 --> 00:00:15,188
Some of us are born with it.

6
00:00:17,654 --> 00:00:19,732
Hey, look, it's Marty over there.

7
00:00:19,757 --> 00:00:21,183
Oh, cool. Let's go say hi.

8
00:00:21,208 --> 00:00:22,706
Oh, no. I don't want to go bother him

9
00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:24,759
when he's out with his friends.

10
00:00:27,833 --> 00:00:29,779
On second thought, I don't
want to be impolite.

11
00:00:30,781 --> 00:00:32,210
Hey, Marty!

12
00:00:32,235 --> 00:00:34,505
Oh, uh, wow. Okay, this is a surprise.

13
00:00:34,530 --> 00:00:35,876
What are you guys doing here?

14
00:00:35,901 --> 00:00:37,855
We're just out for a
little date night fun.

15
00:00:38,380 --> 00:00:39,582
Marty,

16
00:00:39,607 --> 00:00:41,569
aren't you gonna introduce us?

17
00:00:41,594 --> 00:00:43,890
Oh, uh, yeah, yeah, of course.

18
00:00:43,915 --> 00:00:46,156
Uh, this is Dave and Gemma.

19
00:00:46,181 --> 00:00:47,647
They live next door to my parents.

20
00:00:47,672 --> 00:00:49,044
- Hi.
- Hi.

21
00:00:49,069 --> 00:00:50,387
And this is

22
00:00:50,412 --> 00:00:51,913
Chloe, my girlfriend.

23
00:00:51,938 --> 00:00:53,250
Girlfriend?!

24
00:00:54,344 --> 00:00:55,687
Inside voice, Gemma.

25
00:00:55,712 --> 00:00:58,418
Okay, give me the deets.

26
00:00:58,443 --> 00:00:59,726
How'd you guys meet?

27
00:00:59,751 --> 00:01:01,904
We, uh, we were assigned

28
00:01:01,929 --> 00:01:03,203
on a project together at work.

29
00:01:03,228 --> 00:01:03,968
Aw.

30
00:01:03,993 --> 00:01:05,726
Oh, oh, so you're a scientist as well?

31
00:01:05,751 --> 00:01:08,094
I better be, or that
satellite's coming down.

32
00:01:09,540 --> 00:01:11,384
Well, it was great
bumping into you guys,

33
00:01:11,409 --> 00:01:13,750
but we were actually just about to go.

34
00:01:13,775 --> 00:01:15,633
I'm gonna run to the ladie"
room before we leave.

35
00:01:15,658 --> 00:01:16,826
Ooh! Me, too.

36
00:01:16,851 --> 00:01:18,162
Girl talk.

37
00:01:20,638 --> 00:01:22,187
So, I didn't know you had a girlfriend.

38
00:01:22,212 --> 00:01:24,137
Yeah. Yeah.

39
00:01:24,162 --> 00:01:25,459
You know who else doesn't know?

40
00:01:25,484 --> 00:01:26,566
My parents.

41
00:01:26,758 --> 00:01:29,191
So could you just, uh,
keep that kind of quiet?

42
00:01:29,216 --> 00:01:31,663
Sure. But why wouldn't you tell them?

43
00:01:31,688 --> 00:01:33,790
David.

44
00:01:34,032 --> 00:01:36,455
If my parents knew I was dating a
white girl, they would flip out.

45
00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:38,434
There's an old saying
in the black community:

46
00:01:38,459 --> 00:01:41,591
"If she can't use your comb,
you don't bring her home."

47
00:01:42,332 --> 00:01:43,965
Okay, look,

48
00:01:43,990 --> 00:01:46,513
you know your parents
way better than I do,

49
00:01:46,538 --> 00:01:47,959
but don't you think
keeping it from them

50
00:01:47,984 --> 00:01:49,672
is only gonna make it
worse if they find out?

51
00:01:49,859 --> 00:01:51,863
Yeah, you're probably right.

52
00:01:51,888 --> 00:01:53,570
So... you're gonna tell them?

53
00:01:53,595 --> 00:01:54,647
Oh, God, no.

54
00:01:54,672 --> 00:01:56,605
No. No, no, no.

55
00:01:56,630 --> 00:01:59,434
Uh, but you aren't gonna
tell them either, right?

56
00:01:59,459 --> 00:02:02,066
No. Your secret is safe with me.

57
00:02:02,091 --> 00:02:03,591
What about Gemma?

58
00:02:03,816 --> 00:02:06,705
Oh, my God, I love her.

59
00:02:06,730 --> 00:02:08,652
You guys are gonna have
the cutest babies.

60
00:02:08,677 --> 00:02:10,053
Oh.

61
00:02:11,428 --> 00:02:13,426
- Ready?
- Yeah.

62
00:02:13,451 --> 00:02:15,584
- Bye, guys.
- Bye.

63
00:02:15,609 --> 00:02:16,640
I'll tell them tomorrow.

64
00:02:16,665 --> 00:02:18,023
Good.

65
00:02:21,042 --> 00:02:22,452
Uh, hey, guys.

66
00:02:22,477 --> 00:02:25,018
Oh, hey, baby. I didn't
know you were stopping by.

67
00:02:25,043 --> 00:02:27,588
I didn't know men wore pink pants.

68
00:02:29,006 --> 00:02:31,805
Wearing pink doesn't make
you less of a man, Pop.

69
00:02:31,830 --> 00:02:33,761
Yeah, besides, Dad, they're
not pink, they're salmon.

70
00:02:33,786 --> 00:02:36,216
Yeah, that's not helping
your case, bro.

71
00:02:37,097 --> 00:02:38,748
Well, baby, what brings you by?

72
00:02:38,773 --> 00:02:41,420
Well, uh, there's something I
need to talk to you guys about.

73
00:02:41,445 --> 00:02:43,315
Oh, "need to talk" is never good news.

74
00:02:43,340 --> 00:02:45,468
Either somebody pregnant
or he going to jail.

75
00:02:47,009 --> 00:02:48,600
Is everything all right, Marty?

76
00:02:48,625 --> 00:02:51,228
No, everything's fine. In
fact, everything's great.

77
00:02:51,253 --> 00:02:53,520
- Oh
- Uh, I just wanted to tell you guys

78
00:02:53,545 --> 00:02:55,230
that I have a girlfriend.

79
00:02:55,808 --> 00:02:57,292
You do?

80
00:02:57,317 --> 00:02:59,114
Has she seen those pants?

81
00:03:00,875 --> 00:03:02,701
Oh, that's wonderful, baby.

82
00:03:02,726 --> 00:03:04,871
You know what? I've been
praying that you find someone.

83
00:03:04,896 --> 00:03:06,028
Yeah, man, who is she?

84
00:03:06,053 --> 00:03:09,105
Well, her name is Chloe,
and I really like her.

85
00:03:09,561 --> 00:03:11,520
So why were you nervous
to tell us that?

86
00:03:11,545 --> 00:03:12,387
Yeah.

87
00:03:12,779 --> 00:03:14,564
Well, uh...

88
00:03:16,270 --> 00:03:18,901
let's just say I've been
playing in the snow lately.

89
00:03:25,228 --> 00:03:26,964
- What?
- What? What?

90
00:03:27,310 --> 00:03:29,632
I've been sprinkling a
lot of powdered sugar

91
00:03:29,657 --> 00:03:31,136
on my French toast.

92
00:03:32,797 --> 00:03:34,497
Well, you know, you got to watch that,

93
00:03:34,522 --> 00:03:37,054
'cause we got a lot of
diabetes run in our family.

94
00:03:37,079 --> 00:03:38,820
You got to be careful.

95
00:03:38,845 --> 00:03:41,024
No, no. Dad, listen, um,

96
00:03:41,049 --> 00:03:43,846
I set a trap in the woods
and I caught a polar bear.

97
00:03:43,871 --> 00:03:45,648
You're dating a white girl?

98
00:03:45,673 --> 00:03:48,677
Yes!

99
00:03:50,058 --> 00:03:51,883
Well, who cares if she's white,

100
00:03:51,908 --> 00:03:53,908
as long as Marty likes her, right?

101
00:03:53,933 --> 00:03:55,933
I'm just trying to
protect the boy, babe.

102
00:03:56,364 --> 00:03:59,222
You know how intolerant
people can be about color.

103
00:03:59,247 --> 00:04:00,998
Oh, like you and his pink pants?

104
00:04:01,894 --> 00:04:04,073
And besides, don't we have

105
00:04:04,098 --> 00:04:05,676
enough white people around here now?

106
00:04:05,701 --> 00:04:09,035
I mean, with the Johnsons
and now this girl,

107
00:04:09,189 --> 00:04:10,893
it's starting to feel like Connecticut.

108
00:04:12,138 --> 00:04:14,282
Well, I, for one, want to meet her.

109
00:04:14,307 --> 00:04:15,964
So why don't you invite
her over tomorrow night

110
00:04:15,989 --> 00:04:18,724
- for Sunday dinner?
- Oh, I don't know, Mom.

111
00:04:18,749 --> 00:04:20,638
You know, we've only been
dating for a couple months.

112
00:04:20,663 --> 00:04:21,962
It might be a bit too soon.

113
00:04:21,987 --> 00:04:24,221
Oh, maybe I didn't make myself clear.

114
00:04:24,246 --> 00:04:25,648
She's coming over for Sunday dinner,

115
00:04:25,673 --> 00:04:27,743
and if you're free, you're
welcome to come, too.

116
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,275
Wha...

117
00:04:30,525 --> 00:04:33,031
And give your girlfriend
her pants back.

118
00:04:38,072 --> 00:04:42,045
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -

119
00:04:44,140 --> 00:04:46,943
I am so excited for you to meet Chloe.

120
00:04:46,968 --> 00:04:48,263
Thank you for inviting us.

121
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:49,787
Oh, my pleasure.

122
00:04:49,812 --> 00:04:53,385
Maybe with you guys here,
Calvin will give her a chance.

123
00:04:53,410 --> 00:04:54,954
Why would us being here matter?

124
00:04:54,979 --> 00:04:57,695
Well, next to Dave, maybe
she won't seem so white.

125
00:05:00,045 --> 00:05:03,309
Hey, DJ Calvin, can I make a request?

126
00:05:04,770 --> 00:05:06,526
No, but I can give you one.

127
00:05:06,551 --> 00:05:08,296
Go stand over there.

128
00:05:09,328 --> 00:05:11,744
Okay, look, I know you're not happy

129
00:05:11,769 --> 00:05:13,979
with Marty's choice, but at
least he was brave enough

130
00:05:14,004 --> 00:05:14,999
to tell you the truth.

131
00:05:15,358 --> 00:05:18,001
The truth is, is when he
comes in here with Chloe,

132
00:05:18,026 --> 00:05:19,178
the white people in my house

133
00:05:19,203 --> 00:05:20,819
are gonna outnumber the black people.

134
00:05:20,844 --> 00:05:23,687
Wait. What?

135
00:05:23,712 --> 00:05:25,196
It'll be four and four.

136
00:05:25,221 --> 00:05:27,465
You're so white, I count you twice.

137
00:05:30,303 --> 00:05:32,791
Your dad seems grumpier than usual.

138
00:05:32,816 --> 00:05:34,561
That's because Marty is challenging him

139
00:05:34,586 --> 00:05:36,319
to expand his point of view.

140
00:05:36,344 --> 00:05:37,604
What does that mean?

141
00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:40,031
Well, that means, for the
first time in a long time,

142
00:05:40,056 --> 00:05:41,741
I'm the favorite son.

143
00:05:43,589 --> 00:05:45,393
Love you, boy.

144
00:05:47,495 --> 00:05:50,006
Uh, hey, guys. We're here.

145
00:05:50,031 --> 00:05:52,404
Hey, baby. So glad you could make it.

146
00:05:52,429 --> 00:05:54,719
So, you must be Chloe.

147
00:05:54,744 --> 00:05:56,954
I am Marty's mother, Tina.
Nice to meet you.

148
00:05:56,979 --> 00:05:58,474
It's nice to meet you, too, Mrs.
Butler.

149
00:05:58,499 --> 00:05:59,420
Here. These are for you.

150
00:05:59,445 --> 00:06:02,741
Flowers today, grandbabies tomorrow!

151
00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:05,646
It's good to see you again, Chloe.

152
00:06:05,671 --> 00:06:08,347
You remember my wife,
your bathroom bestie.

153
00:06:09,820 --> 00:06:10,452
Oh.

154
00:06:10,477 --> 00:06:12,555
And this is my father, Calvin.

155
00:06:12,739 --> 00:06:14,232
Hello.

156
00:06:14,257 --> 00:06:15,827
It's nice to meet you, Mr. Butler.

157
00:06:15,852 --> 00:06:17,523
Marty's told me a lot about you.

158
00:06:17,548 --> 00:06:18,614
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

159
00:06:18,639 --> 00:06:20,640
He's only told us one thing about you.

160
00:06:21,814 --> 00:06:24,190
Dad, come on. It's okay.

161
00:06:24,215 --> 00:06:25,127
He's being funny.

162
00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:27,485
Now I see where Marty
gets his sense of humor.

163
00:06:28,189 --> 00:06:29,755
Oh, wow!

164
00:06:29,780 --> 00:06:31,773
Look at this vinyl collection.

165
00:06:31,798 --> 00:06:33,398
Oh, you like listening to records?

166
00:06:33,423 --> 00:06:35,448
Yeah, they just sound so much warmer.

167
00:06:35,473 --> 00:06:39,439
Ooh, hey, uh, just a piece of
advice: don't make any requests.

168
00:06:40,545 --> 00:06:42,575
So, Chloe, where are you from?

169
00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:44,682
Here. Born and raised in Los Angeles.

170
00:06:44,707 --> 00:06:45,970
Mm, let me guess.

171
00:06:45,995 --> 00:06:47,871
Bel Air? Beverly Hills?

172
00:06:47,896 --> 00:06:49,248
Malibu?

173
00:06:49,977 --> 00:06:51,926
Echo Park, actually.

174
00:06:51,951 --> 00:06:53,817
Oh, that's near Dodger Stadium.

175
00:06:53,842 --> 00:06:55,508
Yeah! Are you a fan?

176
00:06:55,533 --> 00:06:58,722
Oh, I've been going to games
since Tommy Lasorda was skinny.

177
00:07:00,142 --> 00:07:03,703
You know, my family has season tickets.

178
00:07:03,728 --> 00:07:06,036
Maybe you can come to a game
with Marty and me sometime.

179
00:07:06,061 --> 00:07:09,039
Season tickets? Wh-Where are the seats?

180
00:07:09,064 --> 00:07:11,419
Field level, first base side.

181
00:07:11,444 --> 00:07:13,130
Field level.

182
00:07:13,897 --> 00:07:17,269
I have been hit in the
face by a foul ball twice.

183
00:07:17,294 --> 00:07:19,820
Well, all right!

184
00:07:22,235 --> 00:07:25,237
Aw, damn. There goes my
"favorite son" position.

185
00:07:25,425 --> 00:07:28,012
Maybe you should get
a white girlfriend.

186
00:07:34,266 --> 00:07:35,698
Where should I sit?

187
00:07:35,723 --> 00:07:38,305
Why don't you sit here next to me,

188
00:07:38,485 --> 00:07:41,636
just like we're gonna do
at those Dodger games.

189
00:07:42,892 --> 00:07:45,043
So, I guess we're all set.

190
00:07:45,068 --> 00:07:46,907
You good over there,
Grover and Malcolm?

191
00:07:46,932 --> 00:07:48,521
Yeah, Ma!

192
00:07:50,621 --> 00:07:52,441
I'm doing great.

193
00:07:52,746 --> 00:07:55,424
When you fall, you fall hard.

194
00:07:57,204 --> 00:08:00,273
Okay, so, before we eat, I
just want to thank everyone

195
00:08:00,298 --> 00:08:02,355
for being here, especially you, Chloe.

196
00:08:02,380 --> 00:08:03,646
Oh, and since you're our guest,

197
00:08:03,671 --> 00:08:05,805
why don't you go ahead
and lead us in grace.

198
00:08:05,830 --> 00:08:08,138
Never asked me to say grace.

199
00:08:08,724 --> 00:08:10,974
Oh. Um...

200
00:08:10,999 --> 00:08:13,208
Uh, you know, Dad, that-that's
really nice of you,

201
00:08:13,233 --> 00:08:15,683
but I think it might be a lot
of pressure to put on Chloe.

202
00:08:15,708 --> 00:08:17,138
Maybe someone else should do it.

203
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:19,559
Love to. Okay, let's all hold hands.

204
00:08:19,584 --> 00:08:21,634
Dave. Dave.

205
00:08:22,961 --> 00:08:24,695
Aw, don't feel any pressure.

206
00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:26,588
God doesn't need anything fancy.

207
00:08:26,613 --> 00:08:28,594
It's not that I feel too much pressure.

208
00:08:28,619 --> 00:08:30,760
Uh, I just think it might
be more appropriate

209
00:08:30,785 --> 00:08:32,205
if someone else did it.

210
00:08:32,230 --> 00:08:33,280
Ooh, again, all over it.

211
00:08:33,305 --> 00:08:34,013
Okay... Dave.

212
00:08:34,038 --> 00:08:36,655
Dave, Dave, Dave.

213
00:08:37,164 --> 00:08:39,673
Well, why wouldn't it
be appropriate for you?

214
00:08:40,215 --> 00:08:41,816
Well, because I don't believe in God.

215
00:08:41,841 --> 00:08:43,348
Mm-mm.

216
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:51,391
I see.

217
00:08:51,416 --> 00:08:54,449
And just like Jesus, I'm risen again.

218
00:09:02,155 --> 00:09:04,714
Food's delicious, Mrs. Butler.

219
00:09:04,881 --> 00:09:07,000
Yeah, you know, Mom,
Chloe's quite a cook, too.

220
00:09:07,025 --> 00:09:10,018
Mm, she likes the Dodgers
and she can burn?

221
00:09:10,980 --> 00:09:13,215
She'll be burning, all right.

222
00:09:16,778 --> 00:09:19,860
Uh, so, Chloe, what kind
of scientist are you?

223
00:09:19,885 --> 00:09:21,499
I'm an astrophysicist.

224
00:09:21,524 --> 00:09:23,744
I'd say it's not rocket science, but...

225
00:09:23,769 --> 00:09:25,092
it's basically rocket science.

226
00:09:29,602 --> 00:09:31,338
Girl's funny, huh?

227
00:09:32,245 --> 00:09:35,267
I would like to hear why
you don't believe in God.

228
00:09:36,514 --> 00:09:38,420
Well, it's just that, as a scientist,

229
00:09:38,445 --> 00:09:40,608
I have to go where the facts lead me,

230
00:09:40,633 --> 00:09:43,800
and... there's no empirical
evidence of a higher power.

231
00:09:43,825 --> 00:09:44,891
Hmm.

232
00:09:44,916 --> 00:09:45,857
Hmm.

233
00:09:46,192 --> 00:09:48,378
That's an interesting opinion.
Don't you th...?

234
00:09:48,403 --> 00:09:50,873
Y-Yeah, it sure is. Right, Dave?

235
00:09:50,898 --> 00:09:52,753
Absolutely. Malcolm, what do you think?

236
00:09:52,778 --> 00:09:54,744
Oh, I think it's great.

237
00:09:57,229 --> 00:09:59,822
So if you got some empirical evidence,

238
00:09:59,847 --> 00:10:01,671
- would you believe?
- Sure.

239
00:10:01,696 --> 00:10:02,343
Oh.

240
00:10:02,368 --> 00:10:03,530
But I don't think there's ever gonna be

241
00:10:03,555 --> 00:10:06,454
any evidence of an old, bearded
man who lives in the sky,

242
00:10:06,479 --> 00:10:08,669
granting wishes like it's magic.

243
00:10:15,888 --> 00:10:17,453
"Like it's magic"?

244
00:10:17,478 --> 00:10:19,696
You know what's magical
is Tina's desserts.

245
00:10:20,426 --> 00:10:21,804
You know, baby,

246
00:10:21,829 --> 00:10:23,509
I will go get it ready.

247
00:10:23,534 --> 00:10:25,921
Marty, would you come help
me in the kitchen, please?

248
00:10:25,946 --> 00:10:27,081
You know, Malcolm could...

249
00:10:27,106 --> 00:10:28,543
Marty!

250
00:10:33,604 --> 00:10:36,683
That was going great till you
found out Chloe was a heathen.

251
00:10:37,712 --> 00:10:39,884
Martin Lawrence Butler.

252
00:10:42,026 --> 00:10:44,805
What are you doing with a girl
who doesn't believe in God?

253
00:10:44,830 --> 00:10:46,295
Just because she doesn't believe in God

254
00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:47,853
doesn't mean she's not a good person.

255
00:10:47,878 --> 00:10:49,173
I didn't say she wasn't.

256
00:10:49,198 --> 00:10:50,708
So you think she's a good person?

257
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:53,706
Of course I don't! She
doesn't believe in God!

258
00:10:54,943 --> 00:10:56,421
How can you be so judgmental?

259
00:10:56,446 --> 00:10:58,407
The Bible says, "Judge
not, lest you be judged.

260
00:10:58,432 --> 00:11:00,571
Oh, whoa. Don't you throw
scripture at me, boy.

261
00:11:00,596 --> 00:11:03,491
I am your mother. And the Bible
says I can judge whoever I want.

262
00:11:03,686 --> 00:11:05,349
Tell me where it says that.

263
00:11:05,374 --> 00:11:07,417
First Corinthians, Second Tina.

264
00:11:08,151 --> 00:11:10,052
It's my favorite verse.

265
00:11:10,576 --> 00:11:12,351
See? I can't talk to you
when you're like this.

266
00:11:12,376 --> 00:11:14,234
No, no, where do you
think you're going?

267
00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:15,723
- We're leaving.
- Oh, no.

268
00:11:15,748 --> 00:11:18,082
You're gonna stay here, and
you're gonna listen to me.

269
00:11:18,107 --> 00:11:20,282
Why, when you won't listen to me?

270
00:11:20,730 --> 00:11:22,704
Fine. Leave.

271
00:11:22,729 --> 00:11:25,752
She wouldn't like dessert
anyway; it's angel food cake!

272
00:11:31,035 --> 00:11:33,012
Hey, Calvin, are you
changing the oil again?

273
00:11:33,037 --> 00:11:34,303
Yeah.

274
00:11:34,328 --> 00:11:35,894
Didn't you do that last week?

275
00:11:35,919 --> 00:11:37,706
Stop stalking me, Dave.

276
00:11:39,144 --> 00:11:41,645
I already got enough on my
plate with this Tina thing.

277
00:11:41,670 --> 00:11:43,941
Ooh. She's still upset
about Marty, huh?

278
00:11:43,966 --> 00:11:46,480
Yeah. And now she's upset with me.

279
00:11:46,505 --> 00:11:47,738
Why?

280
00:11:47,843 --> 00:11:50,623
Because she thinks I
should be mad, too.

281
00:11:51,850 --> 00:11:54,454
To be honest, I'm a little
surprised you're not.

282
00:11:54,479 --> 00:11:56,181
There's nothing to be mad at.

283
00:11:56,208 --> 00:11:58,642
The boy's just having fun.
They're just dating.

284
00:11:58,667 --> 00:12:02,204
But Tina act like they're
all at the altar already.

285
00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:06,003
Well, you were upset when you
found out she was white.

286
00:12:06,028 --> 00:12:08,370
I've grown, Dave.

287
00:12:09,939 --> 00:12:11,566
I don't see black or white.

288
00:12:11,591 --> 00:12:13,816
All I see is Dodger blue.

289
00:12:16,031 --> 00:12:17,367
Well, you know me.

290
00:12:17,783 --> 00:12:20,782
I don't like sticking my nose
in other people's business.

291
00:12:22,205 --> 00:12:25,218
But if you want, I have some advice.

292
00:12:25,497 --> 00:12:28,852
Fine. Go ahead, get it off your chest.

293
00:12:28,877 --> 00:12:31,709
Ooh. Give me a second. I
wasn't expecting that.

294
00:12:32,351 --> 00:12:34,027
Okay.

295
00:12:34,378 --> 00:12:36,989
I discovered something
years ago with Gemma

296
00:12:37,014 --> 00:12:38,613
when we were watching <i>The Bachelor.</i>

297
00:12:38,638 --> 00:12:40,504
I take it back. I don't
want to hear this.

298
00:12:40,859 --> 00:12:43,321
No, no, it's too late; train
has already left the station.

299
00:12:43,346 --> 00:12:47,897
Now, Gemma was livid when Ben
picked Ashley over Trisha.

300
00:12:48,193 --> 00:12:53,401
Oh, she was yelling at the TV,
she was beating up pillows,

301
00:12:53,426 --> 00:12:57,639
and the more I tried to calm
her down, the madder she got.

302
00:12:58,082 --> 00:13:00,334
Mad? Like I'm getting right now?

303
00:13:00,763 --> 00:13:04,004
What I realized is that Gemma
didn't want to be calmed down,

304
00:13:04,029 --> 00:13:07,107
she wanted someone to be mad with her.

305
00:13:07,313 --> 00:13:08,998
Okay. So what did you do?

306
00:13:09,023 --> 00:13:10,646
Well, I went ballistic.

307
00:13:11,766 --> 00:13:14,162
You know? I yelled, I threw the remote,

308
00:13:14,187 --> 00:13:17,233
posted tirades on all
the<i> Bachelor</i> blogs.

309
00:13:18,399 --> 00:13:19,839
I was an animal.

310
00:13:21,085 --> 00:13:22,674
How did any of that help?

311
00:13:22,699 --> 00:13:25,514
Because once I started
acting more mad than her,

312
00:13:25,539 --> 00:13:28,340
she felt like she
needed to calm me down,

313
00:13:28,365 --> 00:13:32,299
which required her to calm down.

314
00:13:33,717 --> 00:13:35,523
And then, Calvin, we made love.

315
00:13:35,548 --> 00:13:36,956
Okay.

316
00:13:37,452 --> 00:13:39,355
Keep me out of your bedroom, Dave.

317
00:13:39,380 --> 00:13:42,797
Ooh. It was not in the bedroom.

318
00:13:43,982 --> 00:13:46,529
I don't care if it was
in Dodger Stadium.

319
00:13:46,554 --> 00:13:48,779
Keep it to yourself!

320
00:13:53,791 --> 00:13:55,159
Hey, baby.

321
00:13:55,184 --> 00:13:56,584
Uh, I...

322
00:13:56,609 --> 00:13:58,386
I think those pillows are clean.

323
00:13:59,780 --> 00:14:02,506
Don't "baby" me. Where you been?

324
00:14:03,531 --> 00:14:05,885
Uh, I'll tell you where I been.

325
00:14:05,910 --> 00:14:09,374
I been... I been walking the streets,

326
00:14:09,399 --> 00:14:12,285
angry, thinking about
that Marty situation.

327
00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:14,220
Oh, really?

328
00:14:14,245 --> 00:14:16,934
So now you care, Mr. Field Level Seats?

329
00:14:16,959 --> 00:14:18,950
Yeah. No, but you're right, Tina.

330
00:14:18,975 --> 00:14:21,912
I got to admit, I was
blinded by the Dodger blue.

331
00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:25,639
But, uh, you know, the
more I think about it,

332
00:14:25,892 --> 00:14:29,310
I couldn't have got upset,
'cause if I would've got mad,

333
00:14:29,335 --> 00:14:32,436
I would've had to unleash the beast
up in here, you know what I mean?

334
00:14:32,673 --> 00:14:34,907
- Well, it's about time, Calvin.
- Yeah.

335
00:14:34,933 --> 00:14:36,280
And I'm mad, Tina. Uh-huh.

336
00:14:36,305 --> 00:14:38,496
- I mean, I'm furious!
- Mm-hmm.

337
00:14:38,521 --> 00:14:41,502
That's right! That's right!

338
00:14:41,527 --> 00:14:43,893
- Who does that boy think he is?!
- You're right, baby!

339
00:14:43,918 --> 00:14:45,669
You know what, I'm gonna
flip this couch right now!

340
00:14:45,694 --> 00:14:46,927
Wait, what?

341
00:14:46,952 --> 00:14:48,308
Baby, no, no, no, no.

342
00:14:48,333 --> 00:14:50,941
Whew! That couch a little heavy.
Let me start right here.

343
00:14:50,966 --> 00:14:52,097
No!

344
00:14:52,122 --> 00:14:53,383
Oh, no, no! Calvin!

345
00:14:53,408 --> 00:14:54,741
Wait a minute. Don't-don't-don't...

346
00:14:54,766 --> 00:14:56,390
I can't, baby. You
know what I'm saying?

347
00:14:56,415 --> 00:14:58,674
They done unleashed the kraken up
in here, as far as I'm concerned!

348
00:14:58,699 --> 00:15:00,605
Wait, wait, wait.

349
00:15:00,630 --> 00:15:02,314
Don't. Wait. Calvin, Calvin, Calvin!

350
00:15:02,339 --> 00:15:04,755
Wait a minute, just
calm down, calm down.

351
00:15:04,780 --> 00:15:06,777
It's gonna be okay. I
mean, we trippin'.

352
00:15:06,802 --> 00:15:07,984
You know what?

353
00:15:08,009 --> 00:15:09,633
You-you don't know what it's like.

354
00:15:09,658 --> 00:15:11,558
- To have all this pent-up anger.
- I know, baby.

355
00:15:11,583 --> 00:15:13,128
You don't know what to do with it.

356
00:15:13,153 --> 00:15:14,348
- Oh! Ooh!
- Oh!

357
00:15:14,373 --> 00:15:16,920
Oh, see, baby? Just, oh, just sit down.

358
00:15:16,945 --> 00:15:18,786
- Sit down, sit down. Come on, sit down.
- Yeah.

359
00:15:18,811 --> 00:15:20,472
- Sit down.
- Oh, man, I...

360
00:15:20,497 --> 00:15:22,330
You got to forgive me, girl, I...

361
00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:23,996
I lost my mind there for a second.

362
00:15:24,021 --> 00:15:25,607
- I know. I know.
- Yeah?

363
00:15:25,632 --> 00:15:26,825
Kids'll make you do that.

364
00:15:26,850 --> 00:15:28,301
- How you doing?
- Terrible.

365
00:15:28,326 --> 00:15:29,438
- You all right?
- I'm okay.

366
00:15:29,463 --> 00:15:30,468
I'm okay, baby.

367
00:15:30,493 --> 00:15:33,206
I think we both need to relax.

368
00:15:33,231 --> 00:15:34,230
- Yeah.
- You know?

369
00:15:34,255 --> 00:15:36,220
I mean, you know, the
fact that we was...

370
00:15:36,245 --> 00:15:38,881
we was both upset about
the same thing...

371
00:15:38,906 --> 00:15:40,964
- Same thing. It's our baby.
- You know,

372
00:15:40,989 --> 00:15:42,015
- It's our baby.
- You know...

373
00:15:42,041 --> 00:15:44,769
You know, but now, you
know, we're just chillin'.

374
00:15:44,794 --> 00:15:47,980
- Yeah, we chillin', baby.
- You know what I mean? Yeah.

375
00:15:56,878 --> 00:15:59,590
Calvin, why are you touching my butt?

376
00:16:00,929 --> 00:16:02,742
Oh, babe, I just...

377
00:16:02,767 --> 00:16:04,661
I thought since we
weren't angry anymore,

378
00:16:04,686 --> 00:16:07,761
we'd just get back to
our lovin' selves.

379
00:16:07,786 --> 00:16:09,571
Hmm?

380
00:16:09,596 --> 00:16:10,511
What?

381
00:16:10,536 --> 00:16:13,837
Were you pretending to be
mad just to get you some?

382
00:16:14,106 --> 00:16:16,564
What?! No!

383
00:16:16,589 --> 00:16:19,556
I cannot believe you. Here
I'm about to lose my baby,

384
00:16:19,581 --> 00:16:21,370
and you're trying to make another one?

385
00:16:22,093 --> 00:16:24,370
- Look, Tina...
- Oh, my God.

386
00:16:24,395 --> 00:16:26,464
I was just trying to
get you to calm down,

387
00:16:26,489 --> 00:16:27,269
- all right?
- Mm, mm.

388
00:16:27,294 --> 00:16:29,019
'Cause on The Bachelor,
Dave has said, what...

389
00:16:29,044 --> 00:16:29,519
What?

390
00:16:29,544 --> 00:16:31,542
Basically what happens
on<i> The Bachelor...</i>

391
00:16:31,567 --> 00:16:32,379
Dave?

392
00:16:32,404 --> 00:16:34,729
- Oh, hell no!
- Oh, Tina...

393
00:16:34,754 --> 00:16:36,081
You-you-you...

394
00:16:36,106 --> 00:16:37,917
Tina, don't you... Tina, you don't...

395
00:16:37,942 --> 00:16:39,999
- You...
- Come on, now, you know...

396
00:16:40,456 --> 00:16:42,934
You know, I'm not dealing
with this no more. What?

397
00:16:42,959 --> 00:16:46,229
- Tina, you need to stop...
- Come on, now, quit playing.

398
00:16:49,305 --> 00:16:50,621
Whew.

399
00:16:50,646 --> 00:16:52,624
That didn't go like I thought.

400
00:16:58,324 --> 00:16:59,952
Whoa!

401
00:17:02,019 --> 00:17:03,619
How did you get in here?

402
00:17:03,644 --> 00:17:05,077
Bobby pin.

403
00:17:05,268 --> 00:17:07,241
I wasn't always your mother.

404
00:17:09,271 --> 00:17:11,331
Sit down. We need to talk.

405
00:17:11,356 --> 00:17:12,824
If you're here to tell me

406
00:17:12,849 --> 00:17:14,441
to break up with Chloe,
you're too late.

407
00:17:15,506 --> 00:17:17,213
We already did.

408
00:17:24,542 --> 00:17:27,089
Oh, baby, you okay?

409
00:17:27,114 --> 00:17:29,114
Don't pretend like you're not happy.

410
00:17:29,579 --> 00:17:32,526
I heard your bracelets jingling
while you were celebrating.

411
00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:37,646
Okay, fine. I'm happy.

412
00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:39,638
I was just worried about
you being with someone

413
00:17:39,663 --> 00:17:41,470
who doesn't believe in God.

414
00:17:41,620 --> 00:17:44,233
What does it matter if she
doesn't as long as I do?

415
00:17:44,258 --> 00:17:47,550
So you do still believe in God?

416
00:17:47,575 --> 00:17:48,737
Of course I do.

417
00:17:49,317 --> 00:17:50,860
But my relationship to
God is personal to me.

418
00:17:50,885 --> 00:17:52,604
It doesn't have to be
the same as Chloe's,

419
00:17:52,629 --> 00:17:54,026
or yours.

420
00:17:54,253 --> 00:17:55,623
Listen, baby,

421
00:17:55,648 --> 00:17:58,743
I need you to understand me right now.

422
00:17:59,251 --> 00:18:02,619
Faith has been so important in my life.

423
00:18:02,876 --> 00:18:06,348
I mean, it's gotten me
through my mother passing,

424
00:18:07,058 --> 00:18:10,713
it got me through raising two
black sons in Los Angeles,

425
00:18:11,658 --> 00:18:12,873
and more importantly,

426
00:18:12,898 --> 00:18:15,415
it's still getting me through
being married to your father.

427
00:18:16,969 --> 00:18:20,669
Well, if Chloe wanted empirical
evidence of God, there it is.

428
00:18:22,510 --> 00:18:25,542
I just want to make sure that
you have the same foundation

429
00:18:25,567 --> 00:18:27,801
to build your life upon, you know?

430
00:18:28,053 --> 00:18:29,319
Of course I do.

431
00:18:29,764 --> 00:18:30,930
What do you think got me through

432
00:18:30,955 --> 00:18:33,716
being bullied in high
school for being a nerd?

433
00:18:33,741 --> 00:18:35,806
What do you think got me
through four years of college

434
00:18:35,831 --> 00:18:37,297
and two years of graduate school?

435
00:18:37,809 --> 00:18:39,723
What do you think got
me through being scared

436
00:18:39,748 --> 00:18:41,348
when I moved out on my own?

437
00:18:42,064 --> 00:18:44,055
Marty, I'm just worried.

438
00:18:45,429 --> 00:18:46,810
You're my baby.

439
00:18:46,972 --> 00:18:48,706
I know, Mama.

440
00:18:49,634 --> 00:18:52,457
But you raised me my whole
life to have faith.

441
00:18:52,898 --> 00:18:56,048
Now you need to have faith
that you did your job.

442
00:19:00,697 --> 00:19:02,216
Mm!

443
00:19:05,426 --> 00:19:07,431
So, what happened with you and Chloe?

444
00:19:07,456 --> 00:19:10,752
Ah. Well, we realized we
were better as friends.

445
00:19:10,939 --> 00:19:14,460
Wait, wait, wait. So... you
weren't really that serious?

446
00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:17,522
Well, why would you bring her home?!

447
00:19:18,446 --> 00:19:20,153
Because you made me!

448
00:19:20,178 --> 00:19:21,829
Well, boy, you're grown now.

449
00:19:21,854 --> 00:19:24,185
You got to learn to
start saying no to me.

450
00:19:34,130 --> 00:19:36,567
Calvin, you seem mad. Are you okay?

451
00:19:36,688 --> 00:19:38,423
No.

452
00:19:38,448 --> 00:19:40,342
Marty and Chloe broke up.

453
00:19:40,367 --> 00:19:42,855
Oh, no! Poor Marty.

454
00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:45,136
Marty? What about poor me?

455
00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:47,891
I justlost field level seats.

456
00:19:47,916 --> 00:19:49,808
Those come with a parking pass.

457
00:19:50,952 --> 00:19:53,214
You know what, Calvin? You're right.

458
00:19:53,239 --> 00:19:55,031
I liked that girl.

459
00:19:55,056 --> 00:19:57,019
I thought they were gonna
have pretty babies!

460
00:19:57,044 --> 00:19:58,616
Okay...

461
00:19:58,641 --> 00:20:00,232
Whoa, Gem-Gemma?

462
00:20:00,257 --> 00:20:02,127
You know, I just raked those.

463
00:20:03,252 --> 00:20:06,131
I can't help it, okay? I'm-I'm livid!

464
00:20:06,156 --> 00:20:07,617
My blood is boiling!

465
00:20:09,116 --> 00:20:11,788
She broke our hearts!
That girl needs to know,

466
00:20:11,813 --> 00:20:14,257
when you hurt a Butler,
you hurt a Johnson!

467
00:20:14,282 --> 00:20:16,863
Okay, whoa, Gemma, calm down!

468
00:20:17,848 --> 00:20:21,076
Don't tell me to calm down, Calvin!

469
00:20:22,563 --> 00:20:25,835
Gemma, let it go.
There'll be other girls.

470
00:20:27,318 --> 00:20:28,430
Okay.

471
00:20:28,455 --> 00:20:30,540
Okay, yeah. Oh, you're right.

472
00:20:30,565 --> 00:20:32,674
You're right. I'm-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

473
00:20:32,699 --> 00:20:35,506
Grover, come here. Let's go inside.
Sorry.

474
00:20:38,136 --> 00:20:39,360
Wow, Mom.

475
00:20:39,385 --> 00:20:40,913
You were really angry.

476
00:20:41,087 --> 00:20:44,435
No, sweetie, I was just helping Mr.
Calvin calm down.

477
00:20:44,460 --> 00:20:45,544
It's a little trick I use

478
00:20:45,569 --> 00:20:47,478
when your dad freaks
out over<i> The Bachelor.</i>