1 00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:07,175 Come on, Malcolm. It's gonna be a blast. 2 00:00:07,308 --> 00:00:09,210 It's fine, Marty. I am happy 3 00:00:09,310 --> 00:00:12,280 to be kicking off our bachelor party at a theme park. 4 00:00:12,380 --> 00:00:15,249 Wh... Ah, ah. It is not a theme park. 5 00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:18,018 The Camelot Experience is a theme restaurant. 6 00:00:18,119 --> 00:00:21,689 Set in the glory days of the reign of King Arthur, 7 00:00:21,822 --> 00:00:25,993 where gallantry and magic were the order of the day. 8 00:00:26,094 --> 00:00:30,064 You know, I thought I was gonna regret not being able to go. 9 00:00:30,164 --> 00:00:32,500 Daddy, look, look, listen, okay? 10 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:35,369 This is perfect for a bachelor party. 11 00:00:35,469 --> 00:00:37,571 The ale wenches? 12 00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:39,107 (laughs) Their bosoms 13 00:00:39,207 --> 00:00:42,343 are practically bursting out of their bodices. 14 00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:48,216 Wow, Marty. You mean I get to see the top of boobs? 15 00:00:48,316 --> 00:00:52,019 You know, if you went to the Jiggle Hut on Slauson, 16 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:53,321 you get to see the whole thing. 17 00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:56,890 Plus, have some of those lemon pepper wings, and, boy... 18 00:00:56,990 --> 00:00:58,559 I know you're not 19 00:00:58,692 --> 00:01:00,928 talking about the Jiggle Hut to my babies. 20 00:01:01,028 --> 00:01:02,730 Marty brought it up. 21 00:01:02,863 --> 00:01:04,198 -I just... -Well, no, Malcolm's been there. 22 00:01:04,265 --> 00:01:05,633 What? I never been to the Jiggle Hut. 23 00:01:06,367 --> 00:01:09,703 I can't believe you're dogsitting for Mercedes. 24 00:01:09,770 --> 00:01:12,005 This is your life now. 25 00:01:14,542 --> 00:01:15,909 -Hey, everyone. -Hey. -Hi, girl. 26 00:01:16,009 --> 00:01:17,445 -Hi, baby. -Hey, baby. 27 00:01:17,545 --> 00:01:19,313 Uh, thank you guys so much for dogsitting Coco. 28 00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:22,116 -Oh, no, our pleasure. We're happy to. -She loves it. Yeah. 29 00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:24,084 -Where is Coco? -Oh, right here. 30 00:01:24,218 --> 00:01:26,254 -(gasps) Oh. -(laughs) 31 00:01:26,354 --> 00:01:29,190 That's it? That's the whole dog? 32 00:01:29,289 --> 00:01:30,958 TINA: Aw. 33 00:01:31,058 --> 00:01:32,726 -She's adorable. -Aw. 34 00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:36,029 That's not a dog, that's a hamster that made a wish. 35 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:38,466 Hey, everybody. 36 00:01:38,598 --> 00:01:41,033 -Dave, say hi to Coco. -Oh, hey, Coco. 37 00:01:41,134 --> 00:01:44,472 Yeha, my folks are dogsitting while we go on our bachelor 38 00:01:44,604 --> 00:01:45,639 and bachelorette parties. 39 00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:48,376 Ooh, uh, speaking of, bad news. 40 00:01:48,476 --> 00:01:50,444 I'm not gonna be able to make your bachelor party. 41 00:01:50,544 --> 00:01:52,646 Uh, Dave you weren't invited. 42 00:01:53,581 --> 00:01:56,517 If you remember Marty's last bachelor party, 43 00:01:56,616 --> 00:02:00,288 you had two Jell-O shots and turned into Dave the Douche. 44 00:02:00,388 --> 00:02:02,790 -It wasn't that bad. -(scoffs) -No. 45 00:02:02,890 --> 00:02:04,925 -You were the absolute worst. -It was a nightmare. I can't believe you did that to me. 46 00:02:04,992 --> 00:02:08,228 Okay, well, I have to be on call for my telehealth gig anyway, 47 00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:11,665 so I'm not gonna be able to make it. Don't beg me. 48 00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:14,134 -Yeah, you got it. I wouldn't even dream of doing it. -Okay. Bye, Dave. 49 00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:15,369 Yeah, not at all. 50 00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:16,837 -I remember what he did. -So, Marty, 51 00:02:16,937 --> 00:02:18,572 you got a medieval cape picked out 52 00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:20,441 -for your night at Camelot? -(chuckles) 53 00:02:20,508 --> 00:02:21,809 (laughs) 54 00:02:21,942 --> 00:02:24,978 Well, I know you are making fun of me, but 55 00:02:25,078 --> 00:02:27,281 yes. Yes, I do. 56 00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:30,484 I'm glad you guys are having a nice, clean bachelor party. 57 00:02:30,618 --> 00:02:32,152 (laughs) I bet you are. 58 00:02:32,253 --> 00:02:34,087 You know Garnett, her ex-husband? 59 00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:36,990 His bachelor party? Whoa-ho! 60 00:02:37,124 --> 00:02:38,192 Yep. 61 00:02:38,292 --> 00:02:41,362 Oh, they had to blur out everything. 62 00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:46,300 So, all this stuff is for one little dog? 63 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,636 Yeah, and if she doesn't sleep on her memory foam mattress, 64 00:02:48,736 --> 00:02:50,170 she wakes up cranky. 65 00:02:51,339 --> 00:02:53,574 That's what happens when you buy a pure breed. 66 00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:56,677 Well, in my day, you didn't buy a dog. 67 00:02:56,777 --> 00:02:58,346 -MALCOLM: Oh, boy. -You got a dog. 68 00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:00,781 Like Bingo. 69 00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:02,716 He was chasing me home from school one day. 70 00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:05,085 He was trying to bite me, and-and I was running, 71 00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:06,654 and I got caught in a corner. 72 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,356 And then he was looking at me, I was looking at him 73 00:03:08,456 --> 00:03:11,325 and I had a little piece of Slim Jim. I threw it at him. 74 00:03:12,726 --> 00:03:13,894 And he ate it. 75 00:03:13,994 --> 00:03:15,929 Boom, I had a dog. 76 00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:20,033 * Welcome to the block, welcome to the neighborhood * 77 00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:21,535 * Welcome to the hood. * 78 00:03:27,475 --> 00:03:29,243 Oh, hell no. 79 00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:32,846 How many times I got to tell you? You could sleep 80 00:03:32,913 --> 00:03:35,115 in your orthopedic bed, your basket, 81 00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:36,517 or your little Malibu dream house, 82 00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:39,152 but the chair is mine. 83 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:41,954 Shoo. Go on now. 84 00:03:43,257 --> 00:03:45,593 What part of "go on now" don't you understand? 85 00:03:46,793 --> 00:03:48,896 Calvin, she's probably exhausted. 86 00:03:48,996 --> 00:03:51,965 I had to flush out her ears with anti-fungal foam. 87 00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:54,702 She fought me tooth and nail, and trust me, 88 00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:57,070 that little dog is a lot stronger than she looks. 89 00:03:57,170 --> 00:03:59,307 Dog? That's not a dog. 90 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:01,475 Bingo was a dog. 91 00:04:03,311 --> 00:04:06,280 This one time, a raccoon tried to drag 92 00:04:06,380 --> 00:04:08,416 my little brother into the woods, right? 93 00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:11,018 A-And Bingo, Bingo said, 94 00:04:11,118 --> 00:04:13,987 (growling): "Not on my watch. Not on my watch." 95 00:04:15,789 --> 00:04:17,124 He said that, did he? 96 00:04:17,224 --> 00:04:19,327 (regular voice): Yeah. A-And then 97 00:04:19,459 --> 00:04:20,894 he chased that raccoon 98 00:04:20,961 --> 00:04:23,096 up a hundred-foot pine tree, 99 00:04:23,163 --> 00:04:25,065 all the way to the top. 100 00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:29,102 There's no way he did that. 101 00:04:29,202 --> 00:04:31,872 Look, the point is... 102 00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:36,276 -is that that dog saved Curtis' life. -Okay. 103 00:04:36,377 --> 00:04:39,813 This dog-- well, she wears a puffer vest 104 00:04:39,913 --> 00:04:42,416 so she don't get cold. 105 00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:46,320 What'd I tell you about my chair, huh? 106 00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:48,322 What'd I say about my chair? 107 00:04:48,422 --> 00:04:51,859 You are going to go here, okay? 108 00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:55,062 Yeah, that's where you belong. 109 00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:59,800 Oh. Okay. 110 00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:02,102 Okay. All right, so this what you do-- 111 00:05:02,169 --> 00:05:04,171 you just sit in people laps? 112 00:05:04,271 --> 00:05:06,740 -(laughs) I don't think so. -(mailbox lid clunking) 113 00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:08,709 (barks) 114 00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:10,243 The mailman? 115 00:05:10,344 --> 00:05:11,812 (barks) 116 00:05:14,882 --> 00:05:16,550 -Okay. -(barks) 117 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:19,119 Okay, barking at the mailman. 118 00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:23,557 I like that. (laughs) That's big dog energy right there. 119 00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:27,461 All right, I think we all good for tomorrow. 120 00:05:27,561 --> 00:05:29,463 I mean, the Sprinter van'll be here at 6:00, 121 00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:31,865 dinner's at 6:30, 122 00:05:31,965 --> 00:05:34,067 go-kart track's at 9:00. 123 00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:37,137 The only thing left to do is hire the strippers. 124 00:05:38,138 --> 00:05:40,374 -What strippers? -The ones you asked for. 125 00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:42,209 No. We didn't ask for strippers. 126 00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:45,178 In fact, we explicitly said no strippers. 127 00:05:45,278 --> 00:05:47,681 Well, somebody asked for them. 128 00:05:47,748 --> 00:05:49,216 Was it you, Trey? 129 00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:52,284 It was somebody. 130 00:05:52,386 --> 00:05:54,622 Look, regardless, it's better 131 00:05:54,722 --> 00:05:56,490 to have strippers and not need them 132 00:05:56,590 --> 00:05:58,892 than to need strippers and not have them. 133 00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:02,095 -No strippers. -No strippers. 134 00:06:03,163 --> 00:06:04,064 Got it. 135 00:06:04,164 --> 00:06:05,999 Strippers TBD. 136 00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:09,336 Anyway, I am so psyched for this party. 137 00:06:09,403 --> 00:06:11,439 This is gonna be way better than my last bachelor party. 138 00:06:11,539 --> 00:06:13,407 Are you kidding? That party was dope. 139 00:06:13,541 --> 00:06:16,009 We had steaks, cigars, a party bus. 140 00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:18,946 -Man, that's how you send your man off to get married. -(laughs) 141 00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:21,849 Except I called off the wedding at the end of the night. 142 00:06:21,915 --> 00:06:23,751 Oh, well, for you, it was horrible. 143 00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,486 For me, top five. 144 00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:29,957 This time is totally different, okay? 145 00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:31,859 Courtney and I have a daughter together, 146 00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:33,694 -we live together. -Mm-hmm. 147 00:06:33,761 --> 00:06:35,128 We know how compatible we are. 148 00:06:35,262 --> 00:06:36,830 With Necie, it was just too impulsive. 149 00:06:36,930 --> 00:06:38,198 Like, we'd only really known each other for a few months. 150 00:06:38,265 --> 00:06:39,800 Yeah, you know what? 151 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:41,869 There's no way you can get to know a person that fast. 152 00:06:41,935 --> 00:06:45,072 Uh, well, well, uh, you know, it, uh... (clears throat) 153 00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:46,674 it does depend on the person. 154 00:06:46,774 --> 00:06:48,709 Well-well, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm not talking about you. 155 00:06:48,776 --> 00:06:50,544 -Right. -I mean, a few months is plenty for you and Mercedes. 156 00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:52,279 -Yeah. Yup. -I mean, you guys are totally different. 157 00:06:52,379 --> 00:06:54,782 -Very, very different. -(laughs) You're damn right. 158 00:06:54,882 --> 00:06:56,116 We... we different. 159 00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:59,086 -Yeah, yeah, yeah. -Yeah, right. (laughs) 160 00:06:59,186 --> 00:07:02,289 (clears throat) How? 161 00:07:04,692 --> 00:07:06,126 You like that cheese? 162 00:07:06,226 --> 00:07:07,595 You get you a little piece of cheese. 163 00:07:07,695 --> 00:07:09,997 You like that cheese, don't you? 164 00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:13,100 You know what's better than cheese? 165 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:14,434 Belly rubs. 166 00:07:15,736 --> 00:07:18,105 I rub that belly. I like that belly. 167 00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:19,272 -You like that belly... -Oh. 168 00:07:19,339 --> 00:07:20,874 Oh, uh, uh, scram, mutt. Yeah. 169 00:07:22,342 --> 00:07:23,310 Yeah. 170 00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:25,546 What'd I tell you about my chair? 171 00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:26,980 Uh-huh. 172 00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:30,383 Oh, you're on dog duty. I'm going to the barbershop. 173 00:07:30,484 --> 00:07:32,720 Oh, no, no, no. Gemma and I are getting mani-pedis. 174 00:07:32,820 --> 00:07:34,087 You'll have to take her with you. 175 00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:38,191 I can't go into that barbershop with Ratatouille. 176 00:07:38,325 --> 00:07:41,161 Hey, Tina. Guess what? 177 00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:44,932 Dave has very generously offered to drive us to the salon 178 00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:47,334 and sit with us while we get our nails done. 179 00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:50,203 (stammers) That-- Yeah, that's not gonna work for me. 180 00:07:50,337 --> 00:07:51,772 Dave just needs to get out of the house. 181 00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:53,774 He's been sitting in front of his laptop all day. 182 00:07:53,874 --> 00:07:55,843 This job is killing me. I spent the last six hours 183 00:07:55,943 --> 00:07:57,511 just shoveling people through the system. 184 00:07:57,611 --> 00:07:59,112 You know, I thought I was gonna get a chance 185 00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:00,948 to really use my therapy skills. 186 00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:03,483 It's like they're keeping Michael Jordan on the bench. 187 00:08:05,853 --> 00:08:08,388 Well, Calvin can take him to the barbershop. 188 00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:11,091 -Oh, thank you. -What-what-what-what did I do? 189 00:08:12,225 --> 00:08:14,161 I got the dog and Dave? 190 00:08:17,865 --> 00:08:20,968 Malcolm Butler getting married. I never thought I'd see the day. 191 00:08:21,034 --> 00:08:23,571 Well, I mean, I always knew I would get married someday. 192 00:08:23,671 --> 00:08:25,372 And it happened so fast. 193 00:08:25,472 --> 00:08:26,974 I mean, not so fast. 194 00:08:27,074 --> 00:08:29,042 I mean, three months. 195 00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:31,645 Do you even know her last name? 196 00:08:31,745 --> 00:08:34,047 -Uh, yes, I know her last name. -Okay. 197 00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:37,450 -Do you know her middle name? -Obviously. 198 00:08:38,686 --> 00:08:40,352 -He's googling it. -(overlapping chatter, laughter) 199 00:08:40,453 --> 00:08:43,056 Hey, keep your eyes on my hair, please. 200 00:08:43,155 --> 00:08:44,692 Hey, hey, fellas. 201 00:08:44,792 --> 00:08:46,894 OTHERS: Oh... What? 202 00:08:46,994 --> 00:08:48,395 Oh, my God. 203 00:08:48,495 --> 00:08:49,763 Calvin's got a purse dog. 204 00:08:49,897 --> 00:08:52,065 -(laughter) -Uh, this is not a purse. 205 00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:54,534 Uh, Daddy, it kind of looks like a purse. 206 00:08:54,635 --> 00:08:56,336 Oh, oh, is a suitcase a purse? 207 00:08:56,403 --> 00:08:58,572 Is a bag full of guns a purse? 208 00:08:58,672 --> 00:09:00,207 Okay. 209 00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:04,344 Calvin, ignore them. Your... your man-card is fully intact. 210 00:09:04,444 --> 00:09:07,615 There is nothing unmanly about a poodle in a purse. 211 00:09:07,715 --> 00:09:09,449 Now this is why... 212 00:09:09,583 --> 00:09:11,752 Okay, Dave, Dave, would you stop helping, please. 213 00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:14,021 I-I can't help it. It's what I do. 214 00:09:14,121 --> 00:09:15,923 You know, we therapists have a term for what they're doing. 215 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:20,260 It's called projection, and it's born of insecurity. 216 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:23,063 That felt good. Jordan for three. 217 00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:26,734 Okay, everybody, give my pops a break, all right? 218 00:09:26,834 --> 00:09:29,703 That's not his dog, it's my fiancée's. 219 00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:32,339 Oh, yeah? What's the dog's name? 220 00:09:33,273 --> 00:09:35,876 Um... Damn it, I know this. Um... 221 00:09:35,976 --> 00:09:38,078 -The dog's name is Coco. -Coco. 222 00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:39,847 (overlapping chatter, laughter) 223 00:09:41,548 --> 00:09:43,250 It's okay to be upset, Calvin. 224 00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:45,218 Those guys found a vulnerability in you, 225 00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:46,687 and they zeroed in on it. 226 00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:48,421 You know, that's what bullies do. 227 00:09:48,521 --> 00:09:51,558 I know what bullies do. I am the bully. 228 00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:56,329 But not to sweet little doggies. No, no, no. 229 00:09:57,364 --> 00:09:58,766 You know what I think? 230 00:09:58,832 --> 00:10:00,533 I don't think this is about you being humiliated 231 00:10:00,634 --> 00:10:02,102 at the barbershop. I think 232 00:10:02,169 --> 00:10:04,805 you have formed an attachment to this dog. 233 00:10:04,905 --> 00:10:07,240 And I think we should unpack that. 234 00:10:07,307 --> 00:10:08,942 Absolutely not. 235 00:10:10,477 --> 00:10:12,680 No one lets me unpack anything anymore. 236 00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:15,683 -(knock on door) -I'll get it. 237 00:10:17,785 --> 00:10:19,920 Hey, is this the Butler residence? 238 00:10:21,188 --> 00:10:22,656 I'm sorry, we're actually in the middle of something 239 00:10:22,756 --> 00:10:24,424 -right now. -Uh, no, we're not. 240 00:10:25,092 --> 00:10:27,127 Dave, do you not know who this is? 241 00:10:27,194 --> 00:10:29,162 That's Garnett Winters. 242 00:10:29,262 --> 00:10:30,430 Three-time Pro-Bowler. 243 00:10:30,497 --> 00:10:33,165 Holds all the records in receptions. 244 00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:34,501 -Aren't you also on Trophy Divas? -Yeah. 245 00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:35,769 You're, uh, Mercedes' ex-husband? 246 00:10:35,836 --> 00:10:38,005 -That I am. -Ah. -Oh. 247 00:10:38,105 --> 00:10:40,073 Well, if you're here to fight Malcolm, 248 00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:41,975 just know it's not gonna be one-on-one. 249 00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:43,744 We jumping in. 250 00:10:45,112 --> 00:10:48,048 Oh, no, I'd have to fight both of you guys? 251 00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:50,583 Don't worry, man. Me and Malcolm are cool. 252 00:10:50,684 --> 00:10:53,787 -Garnett Winters is a lover, not a fighter. -Huh. 253 00:10:53,854 --> 00:10:56,556 Well, that's good to know, so, um... 254 00:10:56,690 --> 00:10:59,793 What can Calvin Butler do for Garnett Winters? 255 00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:01,829 You can give me back my dog. 256 00:11:01,929 --> 00:11:04,131 Oh, Calvin Butler can't do that. 257 00:11:09,870 --> 00:11:11,171 I'm sorry, Mercedes didn't 258 00:11:11,238 --> 00:11:12,806 tell y'all I might come by to pick up Coco? 259 00:11:12,906 --> 00:11:14,942 She did not. 260 00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:17,845 Typical. Ah, let's go, Coco. 261 00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:20,848 -Okay. -Yeah. We still have time to make our swim class. 262 00:11:21,882 --> 00:11:24,952 You know, she won't be getting in any pool today. 263 00:11:25,052 --> 00:11:26,553 I just did her hair. 264 00:11:27,821 --> 00:11:31,191 Garnett, Calvin has formed an unusual bond with Coco. 265 00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:34,094 -Oh... -We were about to start unpacking it. 266 00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:35,929 The hell we were. No. 267 00:11:37,430 --> 00:11:39,266 Uh, whose car is that? 268 00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,268 I mean, what kind of nut job 269 00:11:41,401 --> 00:11:43,570 buys an electric Rolls-Royce? 270 00:11:43,670 --> 00:11:46,907 The rich, handsome, environmentally-conscious kind. 271 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,341 Hey, how you doing? I'm Garnett. 272 00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:49,977 -(gasps) -Oh, we... we-we... 273 00:11:50,077 --> 00:11:52,079 we-we... we-we know who you are. 274 00:11:53,914 --> 00:11:55,482 We hate you. 275 00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:58,551 Well, he's here to take Coco. 276 00:11:58,618 --> 00:11:59,719 -(gasps) Uh-uh. -What? Oh, no. 277 00:11:59,820 --> 00:12:01,588 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 278 00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:02,890 That is not gonna work. 279 00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:05,025 I'm sorry, this is my dog. 280 00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:06,626 How is this not gonna work? 281 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:08,261 We don't trust you. 282 00:12:08,361 --> 00:12:11,164 And we don't trust a man who pushes little Andy Cohen 283 00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:12,800 off a stand-up paddleboard. 284 00:12:13,801 --> 00:12:17,137 Nobody pushes Andy Cohen off a stand-up paddleboard. 285 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:19,940 Mercedes trusted us with her dog. 286 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:22,642 That's right. And we are not giving Coco 287 00:12:22,776 --> 00:12:25,378 -to anyone without her say-so. -Nope. 288 00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:27,915 And maybe not even then. 289 00:12:28,015 --> 00:12:31,118 Garnett, Calvin has fallen in love with the dog. 290 00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:32,619 -(Gemma gasps) -Aw. -Oh, okay. 291 00:12:32,719 --> 00:12:35,622 No, do not "aw" me. Don't "aw." 292 00:12:35,722 --> 00:12:36,756 I love the dog. 293 00:12:36,824 --> 00:12:39,259 It's my dog. Mine. Not yours. 294 00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:41,061 I-I don't think y'all understand 295 00:12:41,161 --> 00:12:45,165 how lonely a 12-bedroom penthouse feels 296 00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:46,800 when you're sitting there by yourself. 297 00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:50,137 Ever since Mercedes took away my visitation rights, 298 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:51,271 my life has been empty. 299 00:12:51,338 --> 00:12:53,340 I miss the sound of... 300 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:56,309 the ticky-ticky-ticky little feet 301 00:12:56,409 --> 00:13:00,247 -on my custom Italian marble floor. -Oh... 302 00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:01,781 Now, uh... 303 00:13:01,849 --> 00:13:03,483 Garnett, you let it out. 304 00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:04,852 Thank you. Thank you. 305 00:13:04,985 --> 00:13:06,887 The man can't have everything. 306 00:13:06,987 --> 00:13:09,089 Custom Italian marble floors, 307 00:13:09,189 --> 00:13:10,858 electric Rolls-Royce. 308 00:13:10,991 --> 00:13:12,192 I'm keeping the dog. 309 00:13:18,265 --> 00:13:19,232 Malcolm? 310 00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:21,268 Uh, hey, Marty. 311 00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:22,936 What's up? 312 00:13:23,003 --> 00:13:26,739 Nothing, man. I'm just, uh... I'm playing Connect Four. 313 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:30,810 Oh, okay. Well, that is a perfectly reasonable thing to do 314 00:13:30,911 --> 00:13:33,346 in the middle of your bachelor party! 315 00:13:37,084 --> 00:13:37,951 There we are, 316 00:13:38,018 --> 00:13:40,620 enjoying the Camelot Experience, 317 00:13:40,687 --> 00:13:43,857 reveling in jousts, eating our Excaliburgers, 318 00:13:43,991 --> 00:13:45,592 and I turn around and you are gone. 319 00:13:45,692 --> 00:13:48,128 I just needed a minute, Marty. 320 00:13:48,195 --> 00:13:50,197 You've been gone for an hour. 321 00:13:51,031 --> 00:13:52,565 I had a panic attack. 322 00:13:52,699 --> 00:13:53,867 Why? 323 00:13:53,967 --> 00:13:55,969 Look, man, at your bachelor party... 324 00:13:56,036 --> 00:13:58,038 Not this one, the other one. 325 00:13:59,306 --> 00:14:01,508 When did you know it wasn't gonna work out? 326 00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:05,778 Wait. You think you and Mercedes are like me and Necie? 327 00:14:05,879 --> 00:14:07,981 That's just it, Marty. I don't know. 328 00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:10,183 You know, just like I don't know her middle name 329 00:14:10,250 --> 00:14:12,819 or her favorite color or-or the name of her first pet. 330 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:15,388 You trying to marry the girl or steal her identity? 331 00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:20,560 I'm just saying, Marty, am I being reckless? 332 00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:23,763 You know, man, was I so determined to prove 333 00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:26,066 that I could commit to somebody that I just... 334 00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:29,069 I don't know, I rushed into this? 335 00:14:32,105 --> 00:14:33,473 I lost again. 336 00:14:35,042 --> 00:14:39,612 And won. You are playing against yourself. You also won. 337 00:14:39,746 --> 00:14:43,984 Just like you are winning with Mercedes. 338 00:14:45,018 --> 00:14:46,519 Look, man, can I give you some tough love? 339 00:14:46,586 --> 00:14:47,620 Yeah. 340 00:14:47,754 --> 00:14:49,589 Okay, come on. 341 00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:51,524 (clears throat) 342 00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:53,460 Malcolm... 343 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:56,696 you have been running from serious relationships for years. 344 00:14:56,763 --> 00:14:58,265 Now, some of them, thank God. 345 00:14:58,365 --> 00:15:00,400 -I mean, Katrina? -Whoa. Don't say her name. 346 00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:02,069 Yeah, I still got her blocked on socials. 347 00:15:02,135 --> 00:15:03,670 But... 348 00:15:03,770 --> 00:15:05,338 now you've found something real. 349 00:15:05,438 --> 00:15:08,441 Like, really real. 350 00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:10,843 And I don't want to see you running again. 351 00:15:12,379 --> 00:15:15,148 You are never, ever... 352 00:15:15,282 --> 00:15:16,449 gonna do better than Mercedes. 353 00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:18,351 Not if you live to be 300. 354 00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:21,488 She's smart, she's beautiful, 355 00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:25,158 and she's so nice you can't even tell that she is filthy rich. 356 00:15:27,627 --> 00:15:30,663 And she loves you. 357 00:15:32,465 --> 00:15:34,467 And I love her. (chuckles) 358 00:15:35,235 --> 00:15:37,937 And yeah, it moved fast, man, but... 359 00:15:38,005 --> 00:15:39,973 -you know, when you know, you know. -And you know. 360 00:15:40,107 --> 00:15:43,210 -Oh, I know I know. (laughs) -I know you know you know. 361 00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:46,213 Oh, my God. 362 00:15:46,846 --> 00:15:48,748 Claudette! Yes! 363 00:15:48,815 --> 00:15:50,650 Excuse me? 364 00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:53,186 That's Mercedes' middle name-- Claudette. Okay? Look, 365 00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:56,189 all the guys at the barber shop can suck it! 366 00:15:57,857 --> 00:15:59,092 Yes, they can. Yeah. 367 00:15:59,159 --> 00:16:00,427 Now, will you please 368 00:16:00,527 --> 00:16:01,995 stop playing Connect Four with yourself 369 00:16:02,129 --> 00:16:04,397 and marry that girl before she comes to her senses? 370 00:16:06,566 --> 00:16:08,568 Uh, Marty, thank you. 371 00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:11,504 I couldn't ask for a better brother. 372 00:16:12,339 --> 00:16:13,940 That's what brothers are for. 373 00:16:14,041 --> 00:16:17,210 -Love you, man. -I love you too. 374 00:16:18,711 --> 00:16:20,647 I-I don't know, 375 00:16:20,713 --> 00:16:23,816 maybe Mercedes and I were never really happy. 376 00:16:23,916 --> 00:16:26,686 Garnett, this is good. We're really starting to unpack this. 377 00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:28,055 Other people could learn 378 00:16:28,155 --> 00:16:29,989 from your willingness to be vulnerable. 379 00:16:30,057 --> 00:16:33,426 I don't know who you're talking about, but they are not here. 380 00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:37,930 Hey, why is there an electric Rolls out front? 381 00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:41,101 Because you took the McLaren in the divorce. 382 00:16:41,201 --> 00:16:43,303 Oh, my God. What is he doing here? 383 00:16:43,403 --> 00:16:45,072 (gasps) Do not give him the dog. 384 00:16:45,172 --> 00:16:48,375 (stammers) Trust me, he's not getting the dog. 385 00:16:48,475 --> 00:16:51,278 Because we're your real friends, Mercedes. 386 00:16:53,380 --> 00:16:55,915 Okay. Um, why are you back so early? 387 00:16:56,049 --> 00:16:58,651 (sighs) Glamping was a terrible idea. 388 00:16:58,751 --> 00:16:59,952 There were so many bats. 389 00:17:00,053 --> 00:17:01,754 Sienna got drunk and fell on a cactus. 390 00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:03,890 Aurelia got stung by a scorpion 391 00:17:03,990 --> 00:17:05,791 in her brand-new boobs. 392 00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:10,130 I'm-a have to start watching this show. 393 00:17:11,498 --> 00:17:13,833 Um, we had a custody agreement, Garnett. 394 00:17:13,933 --> 00:17:15,602 We were gonna share Coco, and then you went 395 00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:17,204 and brought her to Aruba on my week. 396 00:17:17,304 --> 00:17:20,772 She had fun, and I got her a cute, little snorkel. 397 00:17:21,608 --> 00:17:23,943 -Come on. -Guys, uh, i-if I may? 398 00:17:24,042 --> 00:17:27,446 Can we please show Garnett some grace here? Look... 399 00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:29,216 Does he have issues? Yes. 400 00:17:29,282 --> 00:17:31,384 Does he manipulate people with his charm 401 00:17:31,484 --> 00:17:33,186 and million-dollar smile? 402 00:17:33,286 --> 00:17:35,021 Aw, stop it. 403 00:17:35,122 --> 00:17:36,289 It is insured. 404 00:17:36,423 --> 00:17:38,925 Yes, but... 405 00:17:39,025 --> 00:17:40,260 he is feeling grief. 406 00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:43,630 He lost a companion that showed him love, 407 00:17:43,763 --> 00:17:45,798 and he's committed to working on himself. 408 00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:47,134 Yes, I am. 409 00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:48,868 I really am. 410 00:17:48,968 --> 00:17:51,204 -Ha! -No way, you snake. -Nice try. 411 00:17:52,305 --> 00:17:55,108 Aw, man, I hate to do this, but... 412 00:17:55,208 --> 00:17:56,809 I agree with Dave. 413 00:17:57,644 --> 00:18:01,080 I mean, a sweet little dog like this can... 414 00:18:01,148 --> 00:18:03,516 fill holes you didn't even know you had. 415 00:18:03,616 --> 00:18:05,285 Bingo? 416 00:18:06,319 --> 00:18:08,155 Bingo was his name-o. 417 00:18:10,523 --> 00:18:12,058 He was the best damn dog 418 00:18:12,159 --> 00:18:14,294 I ever met, you know. 419 00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:17,164 And I didn't know how much I was missing that feeling 420 00:18:17,264 --> 00:18:18,998 until I met Coco here. 421 00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:22,101 Well, she is a special dog. 422 00:18:22,169 --> 00:18:24,837 She's the only thing I've ever truly loved. 423 00:18:24,971 --> 00:18:27,106 Gee, thanks. 424 00:18:28,241 --> 00:18:31,110 You know, one time, this big guy tried to, uh, 425 00:18:31,178 --> 00:18:34,681 steal my bike, right? And Bingo was not having any of that. 426 00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:36,783 No, no, he bit off his pinkie. 427 00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:40,019 And kept it in his mouth all the whole way home. 428 00:18:40,153 --> 00:18:43,356 Bingo was so proud, man. Man, he was proud. 429 00:18:43,490 --> 00:18:45,625 He was like... (barks) 430 00:18:48,295 --> 00:18:49,762 I-Is Bingo real? 431 00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:52,332 I have no idea. Get to your point, Calvin. 432 00:18:52,432 --> 00:18:55,268 Yeah, yeah, well, I mean, well, the point is 433 00:18:55,335 --> 00:18:58,505 is that even the manliest man 434 00:18:58,605 --> 00:19:02,442 can benefit from having a little buddy just like this. 435 00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:05,545 Especially if he's feeling alone. 436 00:19:05,678 --> 00:19:08,181 (sighs) I guess we can 437 00:19:08,315 --> 00:19:10,082 try shared custody again. 438 00:19:10,183 --> 00:19:11,684 Thank you, Mercedes. 439 00:19:11,784 --> 00:19:13,653 Dave, thank you so much. 440 00:19:13,753 --> 00:19:16,389 Well, thank you for allowing me to use my gift. 441 00:19:16,523 --> 00:19:17,990 Jordan with the buzzer beater. 442 00:19:18,057 --> 00:19:20,193 Swish. 443 00:19:20,293 --> 00:19:23,162 Okay. Let's go, Coco. 444 00:19:23,230 --> 00:19:24,731 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Give me a minute. 445 00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:25,865 You right. My bad. 446 00:19:28,868 --> 00:19:30,803 (sighs) 447 00:19:30,903 --> 00:19:32,639 You know, Coco... 448 00:19:32,739 --> 00:19:35,708 we had a special time. 449 00:19:36,543 --> 00:19:37,944 So, don't be sad. You know, 450 00:19:38,044 --> 00:19:39,946 be happy that we get this... 451 00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:45,818 Really? 452 00:19:45,918 --> 00:19:48,555 So, I guess them belly rubs didn't mean a damn thing. 453 00:19:54,761 --> 00:19:56,596 So, y'all think because I got a little dog, I'm not tough? 454 00:19:56,729 --> 00:19:57,730 (overlapping chatter) 455 00:19:57,830 --> 00:19:59,832 I got blindsided by Ray Lewis 456 00:19:59,899 --> 00:20:00,833 across the middle. 457 00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:02,269 -Whew. -Okay. 458 00:20:02,402 --> 00:20:04,036 Yeah, you know, I remember that game. 459 00:20:04,136 --> 00:20:06,339 I lost my parlay when you fumbled. 460 00:20:06,439 --> 00:20:08,275 It was prime Ray Lewis. 461 00:20:08,408 --> 00:20:10,076 Yeah, yeah, listen, if that would've happened to me, 462 00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:12,579 I would've walked straight off the field and then to my car. 463 00:20:12,679 --> 00:20:14,180 Oh, man. 464 00:20:14,281 --> 00:20:15,582 Man, give yourself some credit. 465 00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:17,417 The league has nothing on those Trophy Divas. 466 00:20:17,517 --> 00:20:19,252 You never see somebody in the NFL 467 00:20:19,352 --> 00:20:20,553 get hit with a stiletto. 468 00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:23,122 That is true. That is true. 469 00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:25,792 You know, I once knew 470 00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:27,927 the toughest dog in the whole damn world. 471 00:20:28,027 --> 00:20:29,862 Oh, here we go. 472 00:20:29,929 --> 00:20:31,030 Oh, Bingo? 473 00:20:31,130 --> 00:20:32,599 You know it. 474 00:20:32,699 --> 00:20:33,700 Bingo. 475 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:36,703 Once ate a whole beehive. 476 00:20:36,769 --> 00:20:38,271 That's impossible. 477 00:20:38,371 --> 00:20:40,807 No, a-and then, when he burped, hornets came out. 478 00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:42,642 -(overlapping chatter) -Whoa, whoa, whoa, Pop, Pop, Pop, 479 00:20:42,775 --> 00:20:45,478 -hornets came out of the beehive? -You weren't there. 480 00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:47,280 -What? -You-you-you didn't see it. 481 00:20:47,380 --> 00:20:48,781 (overlapping arguing) 482 00:20:48,915 --> 00:20:50,650 And then-- and then-- and then a tarantula came out. 483 00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:52,952 (all clamoring, arguing) 484 00:20:58,391 --> 00:21:01,428 Captioning sponsored by CBS 485 00:21:01,494 --> 00:21:04,130 and TOYOTA. 486 00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:07,700 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org