1 00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:06,439 Okay, Calvin, before we go in, 2 00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:08,108 let's make sure we have our story straight. 3 00:00:08,109 --> 00:00:09,510 What story? 4 00:00:09,610 --> 00:00:12,046 We went to a sleazy casino on the state line 5 00:00:12,146 --> 00:00:14,982 where your dad was laundering stolen money, 6 00:00:15,083 --> 00:00:16,816 and now he's in jail. 7 00:00:16,817 --> 00:00:18,485 End of story. Okay. 8 00:00:18,486 --> 00:00:22,056 Calvin, my dad apologized for getting us involved, 9 00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:24,392 and he did take the fall. 10 00:00:25,226 --> 00:00:27,027 He didn't take the fall. 11 00:00:27,128 --> 00:00:30,364 He did the crime. He is the fall. 12 00:00:30,498 --> 00:00:31,499 Hold on. 13 00:00:31,599 --> 00:00:33,067 Calvin, wait. Hold on. 14 00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:34,634 No, Cal... 15 00:00:34,635 --> 00:00:37,471 I need your advice on what to do with my dad's money. 16 00:00:37,571 --> 00:00:39,107 I'm not giving you advice, Dave. 17 00:00:39,207 --> 00:00:42,210 Okay, now, he did steal the money, which is bad, 18 00:00:42,343 --> 00:00:45,879 but he stole the money from bad people, which is good. 19 00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:49,717 Also, he put the money in an educational savings account 20 00:00:49,817 --> 00:00:51,085 for Grover, so, I mean, 21 00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:53,053 two goods outweigh one bad, right? 22 00:00:53,154 --> 00:00:55,756 David, I almost got hemmed up 23 00:00:55,856 --> 00:00:58,559 by your dad and his foolishness once. 24 00:00:58,659 --> 00:01:00,493 I am not in it. 25 00:01:00,494 --> 00:01:02,263 So you think I should give it back? 26 00:01:02,363 --> 00:01:07,033 I think that I'm never talking about this again. 27 00:01:07,034 --> 00:01:08,236 I will move, Dave. 28 00:01:08,336 --> 00:01:10,938 Well, you've threatened that before. 29 00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,440 I'll just follow you. 30 00:01:18,612 --> 00:01:20,481 Okay. (laughs) One more. 31 00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:22,716 (laughing) All right, you go. Go, go. Okay, okay, okay. 32 00:01:22,816 --> 00:01:23,917 Okay. All right. 33 00:01:24,051 --> 00:01:25,519 COURTNEY: Okay. MARTY: You better go, girl. 34 00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:27,321 You better go. 35 00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:29,089 (laughing): Okay. 36 00:01:29,190 --> 00:01:30,791 (vocalizing) 37 00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:35,095 (screams) 38 00:01:36,397 --> 00:01:37,865 Uh... 39 00:01:38,799 --> 00:01:40,434 Dad. Good evening. 40 00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:45,105 Well, it certainly seems to be a good evening for you. 41 00:01:45,206 --> 00:01:47,775 (laughs) Aw, that? 42 00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:50,278 No, uh... That, uh, Courtney had a... 43 00:01:50,378 --> 00:01:53,913 eyelash on her lip, and I was just helping her get it off. 44 00:01:53,914 --> 00:01:56,150 With your tongue? No, I-I had to, 45 00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:57,685 I had to blow it like... (blows) like-- 46 00:01:57,785 --> 00:02:00,521 (stammers) No, Dad, wait, wait, please, please, please. 47 00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:02,290 Don't say anything to Mom. 48 00:02:02,390 --> 00:02:04,825 Courtney and I are in a really delicate place, 49 00:02:04,925 --> 00:02:06,559 and we're not sure where it's going. 50 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:09,963 Nope, no need to explain. All right? I'm not in it. 51 00:02:10,097 --> 00:02:11,632 Okay. (laughs) 52 00:02:11,732 --> 00:02:13,634 Ow! 53 00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:15,536 Ow! 54 00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:16,637 (grunts) 55 00:02:16,770 --> 00:02:18,572 Wow. 56 00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:21,642 You can tell that boy ain't got none in a minute. 57 00:02:22,943 --> 00:02:24,978 ♪ Welcome to the block, welcome to the neighborhood ♪ 58 00:02:25,112 --> 00:02:26,547 ♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪ 59 00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:35,189 Oh, Dave, I'm so sorry. 60 00:02:35,289 --> 00:02:38,725 Yeah. It's bad. (sighs) 61 00:02:38,726 --> 00:02:40,994 You just got your dad back in your life, 62 00:02:41,128 --> 00:02:43,063 and now, you're losing him again. 63 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:45,165 You poor, poor man. (sighs) 64 00:02:45,299 --> 00:02:47,268 Thanks, honey. 65 00:02:47,368 --> 00:02:48,302 So... 66 00:02:48,436 --> 00:02:50,471 I hate to even bring this up, but... 67 00:02:50,604 --> 00:02:51,639 Are we gonna keep the money? 68 00:02:51,739 --> 00:02:53,541 Are we? 69 00:02:54,308 --> 00:02:55,909 I want to so bad. 70 00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:57,277 Oh, not as bad as I do. 71 00:02:57,278 --> 00:02:59,313 Oh, I love you. I love you more. 72 00:03:00,147 --> 00:03:02,216 Um, but what do we tell Grover? 73 00:03:02,316 --> 00:03:04,418 Okay. All right. Uh... You know, 74 00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:05,786 I think we have to tell him the truth. 75 00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:07,555 You know, if we're morally comfortable 76 00:03:07,655 --> 00:03:08,989 with what we're doing, well, 77 00:03:09,089 --> 00:03:10,658 we should be able to explain that to him. 78 00:03:10,758 --> 00:03:14,594 Totally agree-- in theory-- but... 79 00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:16,964 I think the healthier thing to do-- 80 00:03:17,064 --> 00:03:19,600 for the child-- is... 81 00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:21,201 to put a little spin on it 82 00:03:21,302 --> 00:03:24,171 till he's old enough to understand the-the-the nuance. 83 00:03:25,105 --> 00:03:27,040 So, we'll lie. I love you so much. 84 00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:28,809 I love you. 85 00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:34,415 Hey, break yourself, fool. Oh, God! 86 00:03:35,649 --> 00:03:37,184 Chili Mangold. 87 00:03:37,285 --> 00:03:39,287 You fall for that every time, burrito. 88 00:03:39,387 --> 00:03:42,690 Uh, yup. And you do it every time. 89 00:03:42,790 --> 00:03:43,824 What are you doing here, man? 90 00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:45,426 What, I can't stop by to see 91 00:03:45,526 --> 00:03:48,028 my old college roommate for no reason? No. 92 00:03:49,497 --> 00:03:52,099 You are here because you want something 93 00:03:52,199 --> 00:03:54,535 or you want to rub my face in something. 94 00:03:54,668 --> 00:03:56,069 Really, Malcolm? 95 00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:58,339 You think I would drive all the way up here 96 00:03:58,439 --> 00:04:01,609 just to tell you I'm Mountain West baseball coach of the year? 97 00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:05,546 You already know that. (laughs) 98 00:04:07,214 --> 00:04:08,382 Yes, I do. 99 00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:10,318 (laughs) 100 00:04:10,418 --> 00:04:11,652 Whose Corvette is that? 101 00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:13,086 You know whose Corvette that is, baby. 102 00:04:13,220 --> 00:04:16,089 That's Chili Mangold's Corvette. (laughing) Chili. 103 00:04:16,223 --> 00:04:18,225 All right. What's up, Chili? 104 00:04:18,326 --> 00:04:20,794 Hey, still doing that third person thing, I see. 105 00:04:20,894 --> 00:04:22,663 Hey, it's just Chili being Chili, baby. 106 00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:25,833 Good to see you, man. It's been too long. 107 00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:28,235 Come on, you got to do it for me. No, no, no, no. 108 00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:29,937 Chili. Come on, Chili. I'm not really feeling it. No. 109 00:04:30,070 --> 00:04:31,372 Come on. No. Chili, you got to hit the Wiggle. 110 00:04:31,472 --> 00:04:32,706 (overlapping chatter) 111 00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:35,876 Yeah. You got to hit the Wiggle. (laughs) 112 00:04:38,512 --> 00:04:40,247 There it is, baby. 113 00:04:40,348 --> 00:04:41,849 Wow. 114 00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:44,952 I don't know what this is, but I want in. 115 00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:48,889 Dave, stop. Uh-uh. Dave... 116 00:04:48,989 --> 00:04:51,190 David, you... Yo, Dave. MALCOLM: Dave, stop. 117 00:04:51,191 --> 00:04:54,561 Chili thinks this guy's got that magic in his hips. 118 00:04:54,562 --> 00:04:55,796 DAVE: Ha. 119 00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:58,599 All right, yeah. Who's, uh, who's Chili? 120 00:04:58,699 --> 00:05:01,769 He's Chili. Chili calls himself Chili. 121 00:05:01,869 --> 00:05:04,705 Oh, well, Dave thinks that is so cool. 122 00:05:05,873 --> 00:05:07,107 Look, I got to bounce. 123 00:05:07,207 --> 00:05:09,176 I'm scouting a catcher at John Muir High, 124 00:05:09,276 --> 00:05:11,244 but, Malcolm, we got to catch up, okay? 125 00:05:11,345 --> 00:05:14,482 Yeah, sure, sure. Um, we should get dinner sometime. 126 00:05:14,582 --> 00:05:15,949 Hey, well, no time like the present. 127 00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:18,386 Yeah, but-but-but-but, you know, I got this thing 128 00:05:18,486 --> 00:05:19,787 that I got to do. CALVIN: Oh, come on, man. 129 00:05:19,887 --> 00:05:22,289 Forget your thing. How often is Chili in town? 130 00:05:22,423 --> 00:05:23,457 (laughs) 131 00:05:23,557 --> 00:05:24,925 You're coming over for dinner tonight. 132 00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:27,294 Hey, Chili could wiggle that into his schedule, baby. 133 00:05:27,395 --> 00:05:28,996 (laughing) 134 00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:33,900 His charm is infectious. How can you not love that guy? 135 00:05:33,901 --> 00:05:36,136 How much time you got? 136 00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:41,941 Good morning, Miss Tina. Hey. 137 00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:44,577 I'm just here to get Daphne's toys from last night. 138 00:05:44,578 --> 00:05:46,078 Okay. 139 00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:47,580 Beautiful day, huh? 140 00:05:47,581 --> 00:05:49,983 It's 50 degrees and overcast. 141 00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:52,453 That's earthquake weather. 142 00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:56,524 Well, it's been a while since we had a good shake-up, right? 143 00:05:57,791 --> 00:06:01,127 When those tectonic plates build up all that pressure, 144 00:06:01,128 --> 00:06:03,397 something's got to give. 145 00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:07,401 Well, it's, um, 146 00:06:07,501 --> 00:06:09,870 nice to see you in such a good mood. 147 00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:11,905 You've been so stressed out lately. 148 00:06:12,005 --> 00:06:14,475 You've been wearing your shoulders like earrings. 149 00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:17,678 Really? Yeah. 150 00:06:17,778 --> 00:06:18,812 Oh, I guess I have been 151 00:06:18,912 --> 00:06:20,347 a little on edge, but, hey, 152 00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:24,585 it's amazing what a good night's sleep will do. 153 00:06:24,685 --> 00:06:26,820 Mm-hmm. 154 00:06:27,955 --> 00:06:30,357 Morning. Good morning, Mr. B. 155 00:06:30,458 --> 00:06:33,193 I love that color on you. 156 00:06:35,362 --> 00:06:39,667 You two have a splendid day. (laughs) 157 00:06:40,367 --> 00:06:43,002 Thank you. I-I think I will. 158 00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:44,705 (laughs) Okay. 159 00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:50,410 That girl's gone out and got her some. 160 00:06:51,545 --> 00:06:53,980 What? What would make you say that? 161 00:06:53,981 --> 00:06:55,648 Because I'm a woman, Calvin. 162 00:06:55,649 --> 00:06:58,085 I know what the afterglow looks like. 163 00:06:58,218 --> 00:06:59,652 Can't the girl just be glowing? 164 00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:01,421 Uh-uh. Not like that. 165 00:07:01,555 --> 00:07:02,990 You heard her say "splendid." 166 00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,824 You know the last time I said "splendid"? 167 00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:08,428 You and I were naked in that waterfall in Ocho Rios. 168 00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:09,863 Ah. 169 00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:13,033 It was pretty splendid. (laughs) 170 00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:16,604 Ooh, poor Marty. I wonder if he knows. 171 00:07:16,737 --> 00:07:18,305 I think he still has feelings for her. 172 00:07:18,405 --> 00:07:20,540 Okay, Tina, I'm not in it, 173 00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:24,311 and you're not in it, so let's stay out of it. 174 00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:26,847 You know there's no chance of that. 175 00:07:31,384 --> 00:07:33,720 Hey. 176 00:07:33,721 --> 00:07:34,955 Uh, is-is Grandpa here? 177 00:07:35,055 --> 00:07:39,059 No. Uh, see, Grandpa stayed in-in Nevada. 178 00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:41,861 He loves the desert, and he's thinking about living out there. 179 00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:45,031 Yeah, in a, in a planned community. 180 00:07:45,032 --> 00:07:46,767 Uh, why is his car outside? 181 00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:49,770 (laughing): Look at you, noticing things. 182 00:07:51,371 --> 00:07:53,974 Yeah, uh, well, you see, Grover, 183 00:07:54,107 --> 00:07:56,876 uh, Lady Luck shined upon your grandpa, 184 00:07:56,877 --> 00:07:59,078 and he hit the jackpot in a casino, 185 00:07:59,079 --> 00:08:00,614 so he bought a new car. 186 00:08:00,748 --> 00:08:03,049 Oh, that's awesome. What-what kind of car did he get? 187 00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:04,451 A Chevy... 188 00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:08,622 G... T... R... That's enough letters. 189 00:08:10,791 --> 00:08:12,459 But don't worry, he won't be gone forever. 190 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:14,928 Okay, um, maybe I'll text him. 191 00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:17,430 Oh, no, no, no. Don't do that. No. Um... 192 00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:20,901 All right. Are-are-are you two okay? 193 00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:23,303 Yeah, we're fine. You okay? (chuckles) Yeah. 194 00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:24,304 Yeah. 195 00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:27,808 Okay. Go do your thing. 196 00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:30,644 (sighs) That was close. 197 00:08:30,778 --> 00:08:33,213 This is the day he turns into frickin' Columbo? 198 00:08:37,084 --> 00:08:38,485 Calvin. 199 00:08:41,689 --> 00:08:43,256 What, Dave? 200 00:08:45,826 --> 00:08:47,595 I think Grover's onto us. 201 00:08:49,997 --> 00:08:51,631 He is asking a lot 202 00:08:51,632 --> 00:08:54,167 of questions about what happened to his grandpa. 203 00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:56,837 First of all, there is no "us." 204 00:08:57,805 --> 00:09:00,373 Your son, your dad, your business. 205 00:09:00,507 --> 00:09:03,010 No, no, no. It is all of our business. 206 00:09:03,110 --> 00:09:04,611 If we tell Grover the truth about the money, 207 00:09:04,612 --> 00:09:07,514 he is going to be an accomplice, just like you and me. 208 00:09:07,615 --> 00:09:10,017 No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 209 00:09:10,117 --> 00:09:12,820 You have me confused with someone who's in it. 210 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:14,855 But you agree that we should keep it. 211 00:09:14,955 --> 00:09:16,356 I mean, it's like you always say, 212 00:09:16,456 --> 00:09:18,391 "When it comes to money, it's not where it's from, 213 00:09:18,525 --> 00:09:19,927 it's where it's at." 214 00:09:21,629 --> 00:09:23,096 I don't always say that. 215 00:09:23,196 --> 00:09:24,531 Yeah. (scoffs) But you're right. 216 00:09:24,632 --> 00:09:26,833 I don't think I've ever said that. 217 00:09:26,834 --> 00:09:28,235 Okay. 218 00:09:28,368 --> 00:09:30,403 Calvin, the important thing to remember is this: 219 00:09:30,537 --> 00:09:33,139 if Grover asks you anything, 220 00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:36,509 my father is living in a planned community in the desert, 221 00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:39,246 you don't know his new phone number, and 222 00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:41,949 he has a new car, a Chevy GTR. 223 00:09:42,049 --> 00:09:44,517 Chevy does not make a GT... 224 00:09:44,618 --> 00:09:46,754 O-Okay. Okay. 225 00:09:46,887 --> 00:09:48,789 I see what you're doing. 226 00:09:48,889 --> 00:09:51,591 I am not in it. 227 00:09:51,692 --> 00:09:54,728 And we're not talking about this again. Great. 228 00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:58,565 It's like you always say, "Tight lips, tighter hips." 229 00:09:58,666 --> 00:10:01,101 I have literally never said that. 230 00:10:07,407 --> 00:10:08,441 Oh, hey, Marty. 231 00:10:08,575 --> 00:10:09,777 Oh, hey, Mama. 232 00:10:09,877 --> 00:10:13,981 So... 233 00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:18,584 Courtney seems well. 234 00:10:18,585 --> 00:10:19,619 Oh, she does. 235 00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:21,321 Very well. 236 00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:23,791 Good for her. 237 00:10:23,891 --> 00:10:27,661 You know, has anything changed in her social situation? 238 00:10:28,862 --> 00:10:31,464 Okay, okay, okay. I did not want to get involved. 239 00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:33,400 I just don't want to see you hurt. 240 00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:36,036 Well, I just saw her, and I can tell. 241 00:10:37,004 --> 00:10:38,237 She's seeing someone. 242 00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:40,140 She seems 243 00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:43,977 very, very, very, very happy. 244 00:10:44,077 --> 00:10:45,512 Really? 245 00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,614 But, baby, you do not have to be brave 246 00:10:47,715 --> 00:10:49,149 in front of me, okay? Okay. 247 00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:51,284 Let the hurt out. Come on, come on. Oh. 248 00:10:51,384 --> 00:10:53,353 Come on. Give Mommy some. Oh. 249 00:10:53,453 --> 00:10:55,222 Oh, my poor baby. 250 00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:59,359 So what is your deal with this Chili guy? 251 00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:01,661 You don't like him, but you invite him over for dinner? 252 00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:04,331 No, Courtney. I did not invite him. 253 00:11:04,431 --> 00:11:05,432 What I said was, 254 00:11:05,532 --> 00:11:07,167 "We should get dinner," 255 00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:10,437 which everyone knows means we should never get dinner. 256 00:11:11,705 --> 00:11:13,606 I mean, yeah, what's not clear about that? 257 00:11:13,707 --> 00:11:15,142 It's like when me and you go out to eat, 258 00:11:15,242 --> 00:11:16,642 and I say "We should split the check." (chuckles) 259 00:11:16,643 --> 00:11:18,078 You know I ain't paying. 260 00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:22,649 Well, exactly, but everyone doesn't fawn all over you. 261 00:11:22,750 --> 00:11:25,185 Chili gets away with murder because he's charming 262 00:11:25,285 --> 00:11:27,855 and he's... he's got this inspiring story 263 00:11:27,955 --> 00:11:30,057 of coming over to America when he was a child 264 00:11:30,157 --> 00:11:32,359 by stowing away on a fishing boat. 265 00:11:32,459 --> 00:11:34,361 Damn, Malcolm. 266 00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:36,196 Don't make a thug cry. 267 00:11:36,997 --> 00:11:41,634 Okay. Okay, fine, so he's got a heartwarming story. 268 00:11:41,735 --> 00:11:43,635 So that means I'm just supposed to overlook 269 00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:45,304 all the foul stuff he's done to me? 270 00:11:45,305 --> 00:11:47,074 All the times I covered for his ass? 271 00:11:47,174 --> 00:11:49,176 And yet, he's the one that gets blessed with everything. 272 00:11:49,276 --> 00:11:52,880 Yeah, that's true. And he's always doing better than you. 273 00:11:52,980 --> 00:11:54,882 (scoffs) 274 00:11:54,982 --> 00:11:57,250 Hey, everybody. Oh. Hey. 275 00:11:57,350 --> 00:11:58,952 Malcolm, Mom wants you to go to Bristol Farms 276 00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:01,088 and get that French sour cream for the baked potatoes. 277 00:12:01,188 --> 00:12:03,256 (laughs) Of course, because 278 00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:05,691 Heaven forbid the great Chili Mangold 279 00:12:05,692 --> 00:12:07,493 eats domestic sour cream. 280 00:12:07,494 --> 00:12:10,196 (laughs) Meanwhile, 281 00:12:10,197 --> 00:12:12,999 your mom gives me a cold Pop-Tart and calls it breakfast. 282 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:14,101 She wrong for that. 283 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,702 Man, you love Pop-Tarts. 284 00:12:15,803 --> 00:12:18,605 Yeah, the ones with frosting, and she knows that. 285 00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:24,510 Oh, she is sound asleep. Courtney, 286 00:12:24,511 --> 00:12:25,878 we have a problem. 287 00:12:25,879 --> 00:12:29,681 My mom knows that you've been pleasured. 288 00:12:29,682 --> 00:12:31,084 Excuse me? 289 00:12:31,218 --> 00:12:35,155 Sexually. Apparently, it is all over you. 290 00:12:37,925 --> 00:12:39,191 I shouldn't have gone over there. 291 00:12:39,192 --> 00:12:40,526 What was I thinking? 292 00:12:40,527 --> 00:12:41,962 That lady can see right through me. 293 00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,797 She knew I was pregnant before I did. 294 00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:44,897 Calm down. 295 00:12:44,898 --> 00:12:46,233 I mean, we did a thing, 296 00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:47,767 but we don't even know if we are a thing. 297 00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:49,068 And now, she's gonna make it a huge thing. 298 00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:50,437 No, no, no, no. The good news is, 299 00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:51,939 she doesn't know that you hooked up with me. 300 00:12:52,039 --> 00:12:53,974 All she knows is that it was with someone 301 00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:56,743 who is great at sex. 302 00:12:57,945 --> 00:13:00,047 Get over yourself. 303 00:13:00,147 --> 00:13:02,950 I'm just saying, we just got to keep it cool for dinner tonight. 304 00:13:03,050 --> 00:13:05,118 I know it might be hard, but could you just try 305 00:13:05,218 --> 00:13:08,554 not to act like you didn't get your world completely rocked. 306 00:13:08,555 --> 00:13:10,824 (laughs) Okay. 307 00:13:12,059 --> 00:13:15,095 Chili Sauce. Hey, man. You know what? 308 00:13:15,195 --> 00:13:17,965 Out of all of Malcolm's friends, you're my favorite. 309 00:13:18,065 --> 00:13:19,466 Oh. Hands down. 310 00:13:19,566 --> 00:13:21,801 I'm standing right here. 311 00:13:22,836 --> 00:13:24,804 I said what I said, Trey. 312 00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:27,007 TINA: So, Chili, 313 00:13:27,107 --> 00:13:28,375 so good to have you. 314 00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:31,845 Um, so tell me, what is Shohei Ohtani like? 315 00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:33,579 MALCOLM: (laughs) Mama. 316 00:13:33,580 --> 00:13:36,984 Chili played two seasons with the Mariners ten years ago. 317 00:13:37,117 --> 00:13:38,084 He does not know Shohei. 318 00:13:38,085 --> 00:13:40,988 Oh... Actually, I do. 319 00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:44,257 I also played a few seasons in Tokyo. 320 00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:46,359 TINA: Really? Even picked up a little Japanese. 321 00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:48,661 Oh. Domo arigato. 322 00:13:48,795 --> 00:13:51,664 (speaks Japanese) 323 00:13:51,764 --> 00:13:54,334 (laughing) Hell yeah. Hell yeah. 324 00:13:56,236 --> 00:13:57,170 Hey. 325 00:13:57,270 --> 00:14:00,307 Oh, uh, Gemma, Grover, meet Chili. 326 00:14:00,407 --> 00:14:02,842 (gasps) Oh, Dave's been doing your wiggle all day. 327 00:14:02,943 --> 00:14:05,478 Oh, he is quite the dancer. 328 00:14:05,578 --> 00:14:07,547 He's... (laughs) Sure. 329 00:14:08,448 --> 00:14:11,384 Wait, so... so my dad said you were a mariner? 330 00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:12,385 Yeah, that's right. 331 00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:13,720 Ah, that's so cool. 332 00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:14,954 What kind of boat did you have? Oh. 333 00:14:14,955 --> 00:14:16,689 Excuse me? 334 00:14:16,789 --> 00:14:18,691 He's not into sports so much. 335 00:14:18,791 --> 00:14:20,060 Uh, was it a schooner? Oh. 336 00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:22,495 Um... 337 00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:26,665 Marty, are-are you using a new sort of facial scrub? 338 00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:27,833 No, why? 339 00:14:27,834 --> 00:14:30,103 'Cause you are glowing. 340 00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:35,508 You're getting it from somewhere. 341 00:14:38,078 --> 00:14:41,147 (yelps) What are you doing? Get away. 342 00:14:41,148 --> 00:14:42,349 Get away. 343 00:14:42,449 --> 00:14:43,716 What? 344 00:14:43,850 --> 00:14:46,219 Dave just told me I was glowing. 345 00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:47,887 Well, I guess you've been 346 00:14:48,021 --> 00:14:50,123 pleasured sexually, too. (laughing) 347 00:14:51,491 --> 00:14:53,760 It's all over you. 348 00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:56,096 Okay, okay, all right. I'm establishing 349 00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:59,766 a 15-foot perimeter. Do not violate it. 350 00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:01,768 Radius or diameter? 351 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,237 You know damn well I meant diameter. 352 00:15:05,005 --> 00:15:07,339 Ooh, ooh, Calvin. Calvin. Quick word. 353 00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:08,575 What? 354 00:15:08,675 --> 00:15:09,842 I know Dave's kept you in the loop 355 00:15:09,943 --> 00:15:11,244 on our little money situation. 356 00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:13,446 Uh, yeah, and I'm trying to stay out of the loop. 357 00:15:13,546 --> 00:15:15,915 I know, I know. I just, I want to reiterate 358 00:15:16,049 --> 00:15:19,286 how important it is that you don't say a word to Grover. 359 00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,955 Right. Right, right, right, right. 360 00:15:22,055 --> 00:15:23,890 You-you know what? I'm glad you reminded me 361 00:15:23,991 --> 00:15:27,059 because Grover and I were going bar-hopping tonight, 362 00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:29,662 and, um, after a couple of longnecks, 363 00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:30,862 who knows what I might say? 364 00:15:30,863 --> 00:15:32,699 Okay. You know. 365 00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:33,933 Hey, Calvin, remember 366 00:15:34,034 --> 00:15:35,935 we went to see Malcolm and Chili 367 00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:39,239 play against UCLA, and Chili hit that walk-off homer? 368 00:15:39,339 --> 00:15:41,108 Oh, my God. CALVIN: Oh, yeah. 369 00:15:41,208 --> 00:15:43,209 That's when he did the dance at the plate. 370 00:15:43,210 --> 00:15:44,978 They showed it on TV and everything. 371 00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:46,713 Yup, yup. The Chili Wiggle. 372 00:15:46,813 --> 00:15:49,049 Oh, that wiggle? (overlapping chatter) 373 00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:51,917 Come on, Malcolm, Wiggle with us. 374 00:15:51,918 --> 00:15:55,222 No, no, no, no. Stop it. Stop it. 375 00:15:55,322 --> 00:15:56,923 Dave, for the love of God. 376 00:15:58,758 --> 00:16:02,795 There is no Chili Wiggle, okay? It's the Malcolm Wiggle. 377 00:16:02,929 --> 00:16:05,298 It was my thing. I used to do it in the dugout, 378 00:16:05,398 --> 00:16:08,568 and then Chili did it on ESPNU, and suddenly, it's his thing. 379 00:16:08,668 --> 00:16:11,671 Y'all just don't get it. He didn't just take my dance. 380 00:16:11,771 --> 00:16:13,906 One time, he was about to flunk out of school, 381 00:16:14,007 --> 00:16:16,009 and he stole my term paper and put his name on it. 382 00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:18,245 Yeah, but y'all think he walks on water, 383 00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:21,148 but it's not true. I had to bail him out constantly. 384 00:16:21,281 --> 00:16:23,983 No, it's true. It's true. 385 00:16:24,084 --> 00:16:26,819 One time, I took a credit card out in Malcolm's name, 386 00:16:26,919 --> 00:16:29,189 and we still owe Circuit City $180 bucks. 387 00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:31,024 (Calvin and Chili laugh) 388 00:16:31,158 --> 00:16:33,092 That's not funny, Pop. 389 00:16:33,093 --> 00:16:35,828 He's right, it's not, amigo. 390 00:16:35,928 --> 00:16:38,665 And that's just one of the many times I screwed over my friend. 391 00:16:38,765 --> 00:16:40,932 You see? Finally, the truth comes out. 392 00:16:40,933 --> 00:16:42,935 Yes. And the truth is... Mm. 393 00:16:45,138 --> 00:16:46,239 ...I'm an alcoholic. 394 00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:49,276 There you go. (laughing) Malcolm Wiggle. 395 00:16:49,376 --> 00:16:51,211 Do the Malcolm. 396 00:16:55,382 --> 00:16:56,883 You say what now? 397 00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,453 That's the reason I'm here. 398 00:17:00,553 --> 00:17:01,721 I'm in a 12-step program, 399 00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:04,224 and I came to make amends with Malcolm. 400 00:17:04,324 --> 00:17:06,025 I'm sorry, brother. 401 00:17:06,126 --> 00:17:08,128 CALVIN: Aw. Aw, Chili. CHILI: For everything. 402 00:17:08,228 --> 00:17:09,762 So brave. I mean, it's tough, man. 403 00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:12,899 You know, drinking is... Y'all have got to be kidding me. 404 00:17:14,567 --> 00:17:16,836 So you're not here for a scouting trip? 405 00:17:16,936 --> 00:17:20,039 No. Don't be crazy. I got people that do that for me. 406 00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:23,309 It's just, it's so great to unburden, yes? 407 00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:25,178 If there's one thing I've learned 408 00:17:25,278 --> 00:17:26,845 from my sponsor, Robert Downey Jr., it's... 409 00:17:26,846 --> 00:17:28,814 Uh, okay, wow. (laughs) 410 00:17:28,815 --> 00:17:30,683 Isn't that supposed to be anonymous? 411 00:17:30,783 --> 00:17:33,486 You're right. RDJ taught me... 412 00:17:34,687 --> 00:17:36,723 ...the best part about being sober is 413 00:17:36,856 --> 00:17:39,491 you can finally stop with all the lies. Mm. 414 00:17:39,492 --> 00:17:41,628 The lies we tell other people. 415 00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:43,330 The lies we tell ourselves. 416 00:17:43,430 --> 00:17:45,165 OTHERS: Wow. 417 00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:51,571 Chili, would you eat a Pop-Tart without frosting? 418 00:17:51,671 --> 00:17:54,873 No, I don't think I would, amigo. Yeah. 419 00:17:54,874 --> 00:17:58,445 You hear that, Dave? Gemma? 420 00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:01,814 The lies you tell yourselves. 421 00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,752 What lies? 422 00:18:06,253 --> 00:18:09,289 (sighs) Okay, fine. 423 00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:11,491 Grover, we should talk. 424 00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:14,527 We have some bad news about Grandpa. 425 00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:15,928 Is-is he dead? 426 00:18:16,062 --> 00:18:19,666 Oh. No. Actually, we have some good news, then. Come on. 427 00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,203 TINA: Calvin. 428 00:18:23,303 --> 00:18:24,504 Um... 429 00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:27,474 I just cannot stand seeing Marty like this. 430 00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:29,209 Like what? 431 00:18:31,344 --> 00:18:35,982 Well, he's so upset, he can't even be near Courtney. 432 00:18:36,082 --> 00:18:38,551 I think it's messed up for her to hang around here 433 00:18:38,651 --> 00:18:41,321 and play with Marty's emotions. I'm gonna tell her. 434 00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:42,888 No, no, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. 435 00:18:42,889 --> 00:18:45,325 Look, I tried to stay out of it, 436 00:18:45,425 --> 00:18:48,027 but it looks like I got to be all up in it. 437 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,928 Okay. What? 438 00:18:49,929 --> 00:18:51,464 All right, now, Tina, what I'm about to tell you 439 00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:53,032 stays between us. Okay. 440 00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:56,067 But you were right, Courtney is getting some. 441 00:18:56,068 --> 00:18:58,070 I knew it. 442 00:18:59,606 --> 00:19:00,640 From Marty. 443 00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:02,475 God is so good. 444 00:19:02,609 --> 00:19:06,145 Oh. (laughs) Oh, okay, all right, all right, okay, put your arms down. 445 00:19:06,279 --> 00:19:08,515 Now, Marty and Courtney will tell everybody 446 00:19:08,615 --> 00:19:09,516 when they are ready. 447 00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:11,684 Okay, okay, I got it. Okay. 448 00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:13,820 I know how to be cool, you know. 449 00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:16,755 So... (screams) 450 00:19:16,756 --> 00:19:21,293 (laughs) So good to see y'all here tonight, together. 451 00:19:21,294 --> 00:19:23,796 You know, for Chili. (laughs) (laughs awkwardly) 452 00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:26,065 Well, y'all enjoy, okay? Have fun. Okay. 453 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:28,034 Okay. (laughing) 454 00:19:32,372 --> 00:19:33,740 Yeah... 455 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:35,675 BOTH: She knows. 456 00:19:36,443 --> 00:19:37,976 Dad, I can't believe you told Mom. 457 00:19:37,977 --> 00:19:41,647 Look, she's your mother, but she's my wife. 458 00:19:41,648 --> 00:19:44,551 And you're not the only one that wants that glow. 459 00:19:54,093 --> 00:19:57,230 So... it's okay to steal? 460 00:19:57,330 --> 00:20:00,433 See, that's the great thing. We didn't steal. DAVE: Mm-mm. 461 00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:02,635 We just accepted money that was stolen. 462 00:20:02,735 --> 00:20:05,037 Stolen from bad people. 463 00:20:06,839 --> 00:20:08,408 And wouldn't giving it back to them 464 00:20:08,508 --> 00:20:09,876 be worse than keeping it ourselves? 465 00:20:10,009 --> 00:20:11,944 Plus, they're all dead. 466 00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:15,248 I should've mentioned that part. 467 00:20:15,382 --> 00:20:17,417 I mean, we're not gonna give money back to dead bad guys. 468 00:20:17,517 --> 00:20:18,751 That'd be silly. Yeah. 469 00:20:19,752 --> 00:20:23,756 The point is, is that money is gonna pay for your education. 470 00:20:23,856 --> 00:20:26,359 And you're gonna clean that dirty money 471 00:20:26,459 --> 00:20:28,261 by doing something good with it. 472 00:20:28,395 --> 00:20:30,162 Like, you know, going to college 473 00:20:30,263 --> 00:20:32,030 and discovering a cure for a cancer. 474 00:20:32,031 --> 00:20:35,302 Not all cancers, just one is plenty. 475 00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:37,202 Or something environmental. 476 00:20:37,203 --> 00:20:39,872 Like, fighting climate change, that's a good one. GEMMA: Mm. 477 00:20:39,972 --> 00:20:42,008 Wait, so... 478 00:20:42,108 --> 00:20:44,744 Grandpa stole this money? DAVE: Mm-hmm. 479 00:20:44,844 --> 00:20:47,614 And you guys took it and because of that 480 00:20:47,714 --> 00:20:48,848 I got to fix the whole world? 481 00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:51,117 Good deal, right? 482 00:20:51,884 --> 00:20:55,021 Man... Life is so unfair. 483 00:21:00,527 --> 00:21:02,562 Captioning sponsored by CBS 484 00:21:02,662 --> 00:21:04,396 and TOYOTA. 485 00:21:04,397 --> 00:21:06,933 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org