1
00:00:07,806 --> 00:00:10,035
Calvin.
2
00:00:10,036 --> 00:00:12,418
Calvin!
3
00:00:12,419 --> 00:00:14,355
-Calvin!! Yeah, what? What?
4
00:00:14,356 --> 00:00:15,525
What?
5
00:00:15,526 --> 00:00:18,915
Oh, I'm sorry, baby. Did I wake you?
6
00:00:18,916 --> 00:00:22,895
You could've woke the dead, Tina.
7
00:00:22,896 --> 00:00:24,735
Do you hear that scratching?
8
00:00:24,736 --> 00:00:26,765
What? That?
9
00:00:26,766 --> 00:00:29,035
Shh! Don't talk!
10
00:00:29,036 --> 00:00:32,245
That.
11
00:00:32,246 --> 00:00:34,845
I don't know. M-Maybe it's a spider or something.
12
00:00:34,846 --> 00:00:37,826
Spiders don't make noise.
13
00:00:39,996 --> 00:00:43,093
All right, well, it sounds like
it's coming from the kitchen.
14
00:00:43,094 --> 00:00:45,561
It's got to be Malcolm and Marty.
15
00:00:45,562 --> 00:00:47,292
At 5:00 in the morning?
16
00:00:47,293 --> 00:00:51,682
With all that legal weed out there? Absolutely.
17
00:00:51,683 --> 00:00:55,002
I don't know, Calvin. It-it
sounds like it could be an animal.
18
00:00:55,003 --> 00:00:56,142
Could you just go look?
19
00:00:56,143 --> 00:00:57,902
Hey, I'll look when I get up, okay?
20
00:00:57,903 --> 00:00:59,742
Oh, baby, I don't... All right.
21
00:01:04,343 --> 00:01:07,132
Mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm, no, no.
22
00:01:07,133 --> 00:01:09,782
Baby, please. I cannot sleep with that.
23
00:01:09,783 --> 00:01:12,922
- Just-just go check it out.
-Fine.
24
00:01:12,923 --> 00:01:14,699
I mean, you know...
25
00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:18,717
But once I brush my
teeth, that's usually it for me.
26
00:01:20,169 --> 00:01:23,842
So much for gender equality.
27
00:01:23,843 --> 00:01:25,982
Thank you, baby.
28
00:01:25,983 --> 00:01:27,282
Whoa!
29
00:01:27,283 --> 00:01:28,812
What?!
30
00:01:28,813 --> 00:01:30,612
Get out! Get out of here! What, what, what, what?
31
00:01:30,613 --> 00:01:31,882
Get out of here! What, what?
32
00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:33,752
Oh, you picked the wrong house tonight.
33
00:01:33,753 --> 00:01:34,682
Babe?
34
00:01:34,683 --> 00:01:35,952
Babe, you good?
35
00:01:35,953 --> 00:01:38,262
Give me back my slipper!
36
00:01:38,263 --> 00:01:39,662
Slipper? Oh. All right.
37
00:01:39,663 --> 00:01:41,841
Well, it sounds like you got it.
38
00:01:45,253 --> 00:01:47,532
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
39
00:01:47,533 --> 00:01:49,543
♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪
40
00:01:49,905 --> 00:01:52,505
Oh. Oh.
41
00:01:52,506 --> 00:01:54,140
Oh, my God.
42
00:01:54,141 --> 00:01:56,310
-What was it?
-I don't know, baby.
43
00:01:56,311 --> 00:02:01,136
Either it was a large raccoon or a small panda.
44
00:02:01,137 --> 00:02:04,250
Well, did you have to make this big a mess?
45
00:02:04,251 --> 00:02:06,750
I didn't do it. That thing did.
46
00:02:06,751 --> 00:02:09,150
Look, babe, when I came in
here, that's when he saw me.
47
00:02:09,151 --> 00:02:10,590
And then we squared off, right?
48
00:02:10,591 --> 00:02:12,920
Now, he had eyes as red as the devil.
49
00:02:12,921 --> 00:02:16,860
So then, so then I hit him with
the two-piece. Hey, hey. Hey!
50
00:02:16,861 --> 00:02:18,330
Hey. So then, but he's like,
51
00:02:18,331 --> 00:02:20,060
"Oh, what's up? What's up with that?"
52
00:02:20,061 --> 00:02:22,730
Then I was like, "Oh!" So then,
so then he came at me, right?
53
00:02:22,731 --> 00:02:25,640
So then I grabbed him, I was like,
ugh, and I put him in a full nelson.
54
00:02:25,641 --> 00:02:28,240
And I was choking him, he's like,
"Aah!" And I was choking him. But then,
55
00:02:28,241 --> 00:02:29,940
but then he flipped me back over.
56
00:02:29,941 --> 00:02:32,070
So then he started choking
me, and I was like, "Get off me."
57
00:02:32,071 --> 00:02:34,640
But his hands was too small
to go around my whole neck
58
00:02:34,641 --> 00:02:37,250
so he couldn't get around my whole neck.
59
00:02:37,251 --> 00:02:38,610
So then I hit him with the Ice Cube,
60
00:02:38,611 --> 00:02:41,380
I was like, "Yo, we got a
problem here?" Right? So then,
61
00:02:41,381 --> 00:02:42,750
then he came running at me.
62
00:02:42,751 --> 00:02:44,350
I grabbed him, I flipped him around here,
63
00:02:44,351 --> 00:02:46,490
and I field-goaled him out the front door.
64
00:02:46,491 --> 00:02:48,771
Whew!
65
00:02:51,135 --> 00:02:53,354
Oh, my God!
66
00:02:53,355 --> 00:02:57,064
There's footprints in my lasagna!
67
00:02:57,065 --> 00:02:59,664
Well, what does the pest control guy say?
68
00:02:59,665 --> 00:03:01,064
Well, nothing, babe.
69
00:03:01,065 --> 00:03:03,004
I'm still hearing the hold music,
70
00:03:03,005 --> 00:03:06,055
but I ain't mad because
they playing the Whispers.
71
00:03:08,785 --> 00:03:10,824
Calvin.
72
00:03:10,825 --> 00:03:12,604
Can you call another company?
73
00:03:12,605 --> 00:03:15,274
Babe, I'm a half hour invested on this one.
74
00:03:15,275 --> 00:03:17,884
If you can't get a pest control guy on the phone,
75
00:03:17,885 --> 00:03:20,984
I'm calling a Realtor, and if
he answers first, we're moving.
76
00:03:20,985 --> 00:03:22,584
Wait, hold on. I'm not doing this.
77
00:03:22,585 --> 00:03:24,124
Whoa-whoa-whoa, bab-baby... I'm not doing...
78
00:03:24,125 --> 00:03:25,284
Representative.
79
00:03:25,285 --> 00:03:29,824
Representative. Representative.
80
00:03:29,825 --> 00:03:30,924
Agent.
81
00:03:30,925 --> 00:03:33,434
Operator.
82
00:03:33,435 --> 00:03:36,084
Person.
83
00:03:36,085 --> 00:03:37,701
Yes, English.
84
00:03:37,703 --> 00:03:39,972
Or Spanish? Nosotros!
85
00:03:43,475 --> 00:03:46,044
Don't mean to be pest-imistic,
86
00:03:46,045 --> 00:03:47,244
but, uh...
87
00:03:47,245 --> 00:03:48,714
it was definitely a raccoon.
88
00:03:48,715 --> 00:03:52,144
So we're going to put down like 16 bear traps?
89
00:03:52,145 --> 00:03:54,384
We could, if you sign a waiver saying
90
00:03:54,385 --> 00:03:57,724
we're not responsible for
anybody losing a leg or a child.
91
00:03:57,725 --> 00:04:01,446
Well, we don't have a child, so where do we sign?
92
00:04:01,447 --> 00:04:02,807
Tina, what are you doing?
93
00:04:02,808 --> 00:04:04,353
You're just throwing all this food away?
94
00:04:04,354 --> 00:04:06,694
I'm not eating raccoon-touched food.
95
00:04:06,695 --> 00:04:09,584
Have you ever seen a raccoon wash his hands?
96
00:04:09,585 --> 00:04:10,934
They actually do.
97
00:04:10,935 --> 00:04:12,364
There's this great video on YouTube where...
98
00:04:12,365 --> 00:04:14,034
Oh, oh, yeah, I seen that.
99
00:04:14,035 --> 00:04:19,024
'Cause they look like little
people. They like...
100
00:04:19,025 --> 00:04:21,144
You mind if I check inside?
101
00:04:21,145 --> 00:04:23,744
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, go ahead.
-Uh, look at all this food you're wasting.
102
00:04:23,745 --> 00:04:24,944
You know, Tina,
103
00:04:24,945 --> 00:04:28,084
I recently started composting.
104
00:04:28,085 --> 00:04:29,284
Yeah, I know.
105
00:04:29,285 --> 00:04:30,754
For a man with a job,
106
00:04:30,755 --> 00:04:34,304
you spend a lot of time digging in my garbage.
107
00:04:34,564 --> 00:04:38,874
-Tina, did you get my text?
-Probably.
108
00:04:38,875 --> 00:04:40,564
Child, I didn't look. What?
109
00:04:42,865 --> 00:04:45,804
School's canceled today 'cause
of the fires up in the mountains.
110
00:04:45,805 --> 00:04:47,809
Air quality is unsafe for the kids. Oh.
111
00:04:47,811 --> 00:04:49,944
That never happened in Hickory Corners.
112
00:04:49,945 --> 00:04:54,174
-We had closures for blizzards, tornadoes, frogs.
-Frogs?
113
00:04:54,175 --> 00:04:58,264
After the tornadoes, it
would actually rain frogs.
114
00:04:58,664 --> 00:05:04,374
Gemma, where are you from? The Book of Leviticus?
115
00:05:04,375 --> 00:05:07,244
We had really nice Octobers.
116
00:05:07,245 --> 00:05:09,594
I know today was the day you were going to post
117
00:05:09,595 --> 00:05:12,834
the casting decisions for
the spring musical, but you'll...
118
00:05:12,835 --> 00:05:17,114
Wow, a raccoon did all of this?
119
00:05:17,115 --> 00:05:18,464
Calvin helped.
120
00:05:18,465 --> 00:05:19,874
Hey.
121
00:05:19,875 --> 00:05:21,634
Okay, it's looking like
122
00:05:21,635 --> 00:05:23,704
your point of entry is your chimney.
123
00:05:23,705 --> 00:05:26,074
We can put a mesh cap
at the top to inhibit access.
124
00:05:26,075 --> 00:05:31,834
Ooh, let's put two in for
safety--and electrify it.
125
00:05:31,835 --> 00:05:35,284
So this mesh thing is gonna stop the raccoons?
126
00:05:35,285 --> 00:05:37,754
And Santa Claus.
127
00:05:37,755 --> 00:05:41,594
'Cause, you see, 'cause...
the chimney is where...
128
00:05:41,595 --> 00:05:43,464
that's where Santa comes down. Yeah.
129
00:05:43,465 --> 00:05:46,934
Hilarious. I get it.
130
00:05:46,935 --> 00:05:48,994
Truth is, if they want in,
131
00:05:48,995 --> 00:05:50,934
they're gonna find another access point.
132
00:05:50,935 --> 00:05:54,104
Best thing to do is to figure out
what's attracting them in the first place.
133
00:05:54,105 --> 00:05:58,495
Some new food source
around-- Fruit trees, dumpsters?
134
00:06:00,015 --> 00:06:02,445
Dave!
135
00:06:05,635 --> 00:06:07,654
Dave?
136
00:06:07,655 --> 00:06:09,514
Do you know what your compost is doing? Ooh!
137
00:06:09,515 --> 00:06:12,974
I have been waiting for you to ask me that.
138
00:06:12,975 --> 00:06:16,394
I'm returning organic waste to the
soil instead of letting it rot in landfills.
139
00:06:16,395 --> 00:06:19,094
Well, guess what. It's attracting raccoons.
140
00:06:19,095 --> 00:06:23,864
Aw. You know, composting
brings all the creatures together.
141
00:06:23,865 --> 00:06:27,704
Not "Aw." One of them broke into my house,
142
00:06:27,705 --> 00:06:29,944
and now I don't have a left slipper.
143
00:06:29,945 --> 00:06:32,074
What am I supposed to do with one slipper?
144
00:06:32,075 --> 00:06:34,444
Huh? Hello, Mr. Raccoon.
145
00:06:34,445 --> 00:06:36,594
Come get your other slipper!
146
00:06:39,445 --> 00:06:41,254
Mama, where's all the food?
147
00:06:41,255 --> 00:06:43,224
I'm not keeping any food in this house
148
00:06:43,225 --> 00:06:45,454
after some rodent trampled all over it.
149
00:06:45,455 --> 00:06:49,894
Well, actually, uh, raccoons are
not Rodentia, they are Carnivora.
150
00:06:49,895 --> 00:06:53,564
Which is kind of a misnomer
because they're omnivorous, so...
151
00:06:55,195 --> 00:06:58,284
Yo, Marty. Read the room.
152
00:06:58,285 --> 00:07:02,754
Wait, so are you saying
there is no food in this house?
153
00:07:02,755 --> 00:07:04,874
Looks like you'll have to eat at home.
154
00:07:04,875 --> 00:07:08,764
But we don't have food at home.
155
00:07:08,765 --> 00:07:12,164
I mean, we knew this day would come.
156
00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:16,574
You think you'll be ready for it, but you're not.
157
00:07:16,575 --> 00:07:19,454
Okay, look, we're all
going to need food, all right?
158
00:07:19,455 --> 00:07:21,524
Why don't you guys go pick up some takeout?
159
00:07:21,525 --> 00:07:22,794
Oh, okay. MALCOLM: Okay.
160
00:07:22,795 --> 00:07:25,394
Got you, Mama. Whatever you want. Uh...
161
00:07:25,395 --> 00:07:28,714
Credit card?
162
00:07:28,715 --> 00:07:33,184
-It's our treat.
-Yeah, I'm sure.
163
00:07:33,185 --> 00:07:35,404
Hey.
164
00:07:35,405 --> 00:07:38,504
About those auditions for the spring musical.
165
00:07:38,505 --> 00:07:41,144
You know that seventh grader Cooper Brockwell?
166
00:07:41,145 --> 00:07:43,444
You were probably wondering
if he's the same Brockwell
167
00:07:43,445 --> 00:07:46,354
as in the school's Brockwell
Performing Arts Center.
168
00:07:46,355 --> 00:07:49,404
I wasn't wondering.
169
00:07:49,405 --> 00:07:51,684
Oh, good.
170
00:07:51,685 --> 00:07:53,694
But he is.
171
00:07:53,695 --> 00:07:55,543
Oh, so wait a minute.
172
00:07:55,545 --> 00:07:58,994
Are you saying that I have
to cast this Brockwell kid
173
00:07:58,995 --> 00:08:00,864
because his parents paid for the theater?
174
00:08:00,865 --> 00:08:02,164
Grandparents.
175
00:08:02,165 --> 00:08:05,084
His parents paid for the library.
176
00:08:05,085 --> 00:08:08,104
And no, of course I'm not saying that.
177
00:08:08,105 --> 00:08:10,104
You should cast whoever's the best.
178
00:08:10,105 --> 00:08:12,394
Great.
179
00:08:12,395 --> 00:08:15,274
-Was Cooper the best?_
-Oh, no.
180
00:08:15,275 --> 00:08:17,844
I'm just glad you don't feel
any pressure to cast him
181
00:08:17,845 --> 00:08:19,514
just because, without his grandfather,
182
00:08:19,515 --> 00:08:23,304
there wouldn't be a musical at all.
183
00:08:23,305 --> 00:08:25,854
You know, now I'm feeling a little pressure.
184
00:08:25,855 --> 00:08:28,974
No, don't, don't, don't.
185
00:08:28,975 --> 00:08:30,824
It is a nice theater, though, isn't it?
186
00:08:30,825 --> 00:08:32,624
Oh, my God.
187
00:08:32,625 --> 00:08:36,964
It's always just one
thing after another with you.
188
00:08:36,965 --> 00:08:39,204
Remember when you installed those solar panels?
189
00:08:39,205 --> 00:08:40,904
Yeah, I reduced my carbon footprint
190
00:08:40,905 --> 00:08:42,904
and I cut my utility bill in half.
191
00:08:42,905 --> 00:08:45,144
Wrong. You caused a blackout,
192
00:08:45,145 --> 00:08:47,414
and I had to stop a mob from beating your ass.
193
00:08:47,415 --> 00:08:50,544
And what about when you
started collecting rainwater?
194
00:08:50,545 --> 00:08:51,784
We were in a drought.
195
00:08:51,785 --> 00:08:53,514
I decreased my water consumption.
196
00:08:53,515 --> 00:08:56,254
And this neighborhood was
swarming with mosquitoes.
197
00:08:56,255 --> 00:08:58,954
The kid down the street got bit in his eye.
198
00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:00,894
I had to stop his daddy from beating your ass.
199
00:09:00,895 --> 00:09:02,754
Okay. Well, to be fair,
200
00:09:02,755 --> 00:09:06,034
that was the same guy from the blackout, and...
201
00:09:06,035 --> 00:09:07,534
I think he has anger issues.
202
00:09:07,535 --> 00:09:10,634
Okay.
♫
203
00:09:10,635 --> 00:09:12,864
Oh, look, it's one of those emergency alerts.
204
00:09:12,865 --> 00:09:14,274
It says that there's a...
205
00:09:14,275 --> 00:09:16,404
mountain lion loose in the neighborhood.
206
00:09:16,405 --> 00:09:18,674
Wait a second. You guys got an alert?
207
00:09:18,675 --> 00:09:19,804
I didn't get an alert.
208
00:09:19,805 --> 00:09:21,544
♫
209
00:09:21,545 --> 00:09:24,834
It's telling us to shelter in place.
210
00:09:24,835 --> 00:09:26,354
You all are getting this?
211
00:09:26,355 --> 00:09:30,174
It's only my phone that doesn't care about me?
212
00:09:30,175 --> 00:09:34,894
Remain indoors until Animal
Control can find and sedate the lion.
213
00:09:34,895 --> 00:09:36,424
Ha! You ain't got to tell me.
214
00:09:36,425 --> 00:09:38,524
Yeah, with Black people, you just need two words,
215
00:09:38,525 --> 00:09:41,464
"mountain" and "lion,"
and we ain't going out there.
216
00:09:45,548 --> 00:09:49,307
100-year-old Bernice
Truck has always had a dream.
217
00:09:49,308 --> 00:09:51,937
There's a mountain lion
loose in the neighborhood,
218
00:09:51,938 --> 00:09:53,907
and all the local news wants to talk about
219
00:09:53,908 --> 00:09:56,447
is a 100-year-old lady who's skydiving.
220
00:09:56,448 --> 00:09:59,777
I mean, at this point, what's she really risking?
221
00:09:59,778 --> 00:10:02,587
Baby, don't say that.
222
00:10:02,588 --> 00:10:06,157
Hold on. Grover's home.
223
00:10:06,158 --> 00:10:08,327
Our son is in our house alone.
224
00:10:08,328 --> 00:10:10,957
No. What? You can't go out there, Gemma.
225
00:10:10,958 --> 00:10:13,197
There's a mountain lion. Are you crazy?
226
00:10:13,198 --> 00:10:16,747
See? That's why they need those alerts.
227
00:10:16,748 --> 00:10:18,997
Okay, Gemma, look, let's not panic.
228
00:10:18,998 --> 00:10:20,337
All right, he's fine.
229
00:10:20,338 --> 00:10:21,767
He's in the house. The doors are shut.
230
00:10:21,768 --> 00:10:23,707
Grover knows not to open the door for strangers.
231
00:10:23,708 --> 00:10:25,337
What about mountain lions?
232
00:10:25,338 --> 00:10:27,094
Okay, well, Gemma,
233
00:10:27,095 --> 00:10:30,381
if Grover doesn't know not to open the door
for a mountain lion, we have bigger problems.
234
00:10:32,768 --> 00:10:36,767
Grover! Grover, can you hear me?!
235
00:10:36,768 --> 00:10:38,157
Hey, Mom!.
236
00:10:38,158 --> 00:10:40,017
There's a mountain lion on the loose.
237
00:10:40,018 --> 00:10:42,057
I know. I got an alert on my phone.
238
00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:44,057
You got to be kidding me.
239
00:10:44,058 --> 00:10:47,977
Yeah--my phone wants me dead.
240
00:10:47,978 --> 00:10:50,837
Grover. Stay inside.
241
00:10:50,838 --> 00:10:55,417
Don't open the door for any person... or animal.
242
00:10:55,418 --> 00:10:57,407
We'll be over as soon as we can.
243
00:10:57,408 --> 00:11:00,677
So, first I don't get to go
to school because of a fire,
244
00:11:00,678 --> 00:11:02,677
and now I have to hang out in my house
245
00:11:02,678 --> 00:11:05,577
without supervision for who knows how long?
246
00:11:06,183 --> 00:11:10,097
I know, sweetie.
247
00:11:10,098 --> 00:11:12,838
Poor little thing.
248
00:11:16,178 --> 00:11:20,027
If this is the "House of the
Dragon", then where's the dragon?
249
00:11:20,028 --> 00:11:24,427
This is nothing but ladies taking baths.
250
00:11:24,988 --> 00:11:29,088
Mom would definitely say this is not appropriate.
251
00:11:30,728 --> 00:11:34,257
But Mom's not here.
252
00:11:34,258 --> 00:11:37,999
And we will also have the
Carolina pulled pork sandwich.
253
00:11:38,001 --> 00:11:40,747
Oh, yeah, bread on the
side so it doesn't get soggy.
254
00:11:40,748 --> 00:11:43,047
Yeah, uh, bread on the side.
255
00:11:43,048 --> 00:11:44,457
Extra sauce, also on the side.
256
00:11:44,458 --> 00:11:47,157
Extra sauce, please. Mm-hmm.
257
00:11:47,158 --> 00:11:49,127
On the side. On the side.
258
00:11:49,128 --> 00:11:51,747
Don't let it touch the bread.
259
00:11:51,748 --> 00:11:54,327
And we will also have the full rack of ribs.
260
00:11:54,328 --> 00:11:57,397
Oh, is that more Memphis style or Texas style?
261
00:11:57,398 --> 00:12:01,537
They are pig style, Marty.
-Okay.
262
00:12:01,538 --> 00:12:06,987
Oh, ask if their coleslaw is more soupy or dry.
263
00:12:06,988 --> 00:12:10,767
Would you hold on for one second, please?
264
00:12:10,768 --> 00:12:13,427
No, I will not ask them that.
265
00:12:13,428 --> 00:12:15,647
They about to spit in our food, man.
266
00:12:15,648 --> 00:12:18,317
You cannot be this high maintenance, Marty.
267
00:12:18,318 --> 00:12:20,707
You are not pretty enough.
268
00:12:20,708 --> 00:12:23,057
They don't know how pretty I am.
-Please.
269
00:12:24,798 --> 00:12:26,927
Oh, great, see, now that's Mama calling.
270
00:12:26,928 --> 00:12:28,427
And she is worse than you are.
271
00:12:28,428 --> 00:12:29,667
Man, I ain't got time for this.
272
00:12:29,668 --> 00:12:31,037
I'm gonna just finish this order.
273
00:12:31,038 --> 00:12:33,367
Hello? Yes, that will be all, please.
274
00:12:33,368 --> 00:12:36,137
Oh, no, ooh, ask if their lemon pie
275
00:12:36,138 --> 00:12:40,227
has more whipped cream or meringue.
276
00:12:40,228 --> 00:12:42,407
I'm so sorry. The call dropped.
277
00:12:42,408 --> 00:12:44,317
I just saw you hang up.
278
00:12:44,318 --> 00:12:47,404
That's why it dropped.
279
00:12:47,899 --> 00:12:52,087
Okay, well, please call me
back when you get this, Malcolm.
280
00:12:52,088 --> 00:12:55,227
I mean, them
mountain lions is getting close.
281
00:12:55,228 --> 00:12:56,987
Look, babe, that's the Johnsons' house.
282
00:12:56,988 --> 00:12:58,257
No. What?
283
00:12:58,258 --> 00:13:01,517
Uh, the Black Johnsons.
284
00:13:01,518 --> 00:13:04,737
I can tell because they leave their
Christmas lights up all year long.
285
00:13:04,738 --> 00:13:08,629
Mm. I kind of like it. It keeps me in the spirit.
286
00:13:08,631 --> 00:13:13,281
It's March. There should
not be a Santa on that roof.
287
00:13:14,758 --> 00:13:16,377
Somebody's getting hangry.
288
00:13:16,378 --> 00:13:20,317
Dave, I don't know what the hell
that means, but I am not in the mood.
289
00:13:20,318 --> 00:13:23,938
I am hungry and I'm angry.
290
00:13:25,027 --> 00:13:26,887
I'm starving, too.
291
00:13:26,888 --> 00:13:28,827
You know what?
292
00:13:28,828 --> 00:13:30,927
Some of those boxes you threw out were sealed.
293
00:13:30,928 --> 00:13:33,627
I'm getting some Triscuits.
-Ooh. What?
294
00:13:33,628 --> 00:13:35,527
Will you see if there's anything sweet in there?
295
00:13:35,528 --> 00:13:37,897
Like a... Like a scone or an clair?
296
00:13:37,898 --> 00:13:40,237
David; I'm going to the trash.
297
00:13:40,238 --> 00:13:42,818
I'm not popping by the bakery.
298
00:13:51,168 --> 00:13:52,547
Something knocked over our trash cans.
299
00:13:52,548 --> 00:13:57,147
-Oh, no. The raccoon is back.
-Oh, no, this was way bigger than a raccoon.
300
00:13:57,148 --> 00:14:00,977
Oh, my God. It's the mountain lion.
301
00:14:00,978 --> 00:14:02,427
Before we all die,
302
00:14:02,428 --> 00:14:04,957
I just want to make it clear that,
303
00:14:04,958 --> 00:14:07,848
Dave, this is all your fault!
-That's right.
304
00:14:09,935 --> 00:14:11,054
How so?
305
00:14:11,055 --> 00:14:12,914
Because your composting
306
00:14:12,915 --> 00:14:15,254
attracted the raccoons, which made Tina
307
00:14:15,255 --> 00:14:19,054
throw out our food, which drew the mountain lion
308
00:14:19,055 --> 00:14:20,624
right to our front door. Mm-hmm.
309
00:14:20,625 --> 00:14:22,424
I should've let that man beat your ass.
310
00:14:22,425 --> 00:14:25,244
You should've.
311
00:14:25,245 --> 00:14:26,994
I can't leave our son alone.
312
00:14:26,995 --> 00:14:29,234
I don't care what's out there.
I'm going to be with my son.
313
00:14:29,235 --> 00:14:30,834
All right, honey. Wait.
314
00:14:44,105 --> 00:14:45,314
What were they saying?
315
00:14:45,315 --> 00:14:47,314
Whatever it was, it translates to
316
00:14:47,315 --> 00:14:51,304
"Get your butt back in the house, woman."
317
00:14:51,305 --> 00:14:53,694
Look, Grover's alone.
318
00:14:53,695 --> 00:14:57,814
He must be so scared.
319
00:14:57,815 --> 00:15:00,214
Okay.
320
00:15:00,215 --> 00:15:05,567
Now let's find out why I'm
not allowed to watch "Euphoria"
321
00:15:14,465 --> 00:15:15,684
Yo...
322
00:15:15,685 --> 00:15:18,114
What is with all the helicopters?
323
00:15:18,115 --> 00:15:19,814
It's got to be a police chase.
324
00:15:19,815 --> 00:15:21,784
I hope it's still on TV.
325
00:15:23,025 --> 00:15:26,275
I hope it's not us.
326
00:15:29,615 --> 00:15:30,864
Yo.
327
00:15:30,865 --> 00:15:32,564
Look at all this trash.
328
00:15:33,234 --> 00:15:36,100
Uh-oh. Somebody's gonna
have to clean all this up.
329
00:15:36,402 --> 00:15:37,761
Not it.
330
00:15:37,763 --> 00:15:39,473
Hold on, hey, hey, hey, hey.
331
00:15:39,474 --> 00:15:41,403
Are you really going to be that juvenile?
332
00:15:42,744 --> 00:15:43,743
Yes.
333
00:15:43,744 --> 00:15:44,743
No!
334
00:15:44,744 --> 00:15:46,323
Malcolm!
335
00:15:46,324 --> 00:15:48,113
Hey, hey. I got the food.
336
00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:49,613
Are you crazy?
337
00:15:49,614 --> 00:15:51,713
Why didn't you answer the
phone when I called you?
338
00:15:51,714 --> 00:15:53,513
There's a mountain lion loose out there.
339
00:15:53,514 --> 00:15:55,323
Out where? I didn't get an alert.
340
00:15:55,324 --> 00:15:59,903
Oh, it's not just me. Yes.
341
00:15:59,904 --> 00:16:01,263
Where's your brother?
342
00:16:01,264 --> 00:16:02,593
He's out there cleaning up the garbage.
343
00:16:02,594 --> 00:16:04,463
Oh, my God. Calvin, go get my baby.
344
00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:06,493
-I'm on it.
-I'll go with you, Pop.
345
00:16:06,494 --> 00:16:07,963
Oh, no, you won't. Uh-uh.
346
00:16:07,964 --> 00:16:10,013
You could get killed.
347
00:16:10,014 --> 00:16:11,203
I'll go.
348
00:16:11,204 --> 00:16:13,482
Yeah, go ahead, Dave. Go, go.
349
00:16:13,484 --> 00:16:15,653
Go!
350
00:16:15,654 --> 00:16:17,203
Daddy!
351
00:16:17,204 --> 00:16:18,773
Don't let me go out like this!
352
00:16:18,774 --> 00:16:21,933
Oh.
353
00:16:21,934 --> 00:16:25,013
I've never been to Japan.
I've never whitewater rafted.
354
00:16:25,014 --> 00:16:28,973
There's two or three more "Avatars" coming out.
355
00:16:28,974 --> 00:16:31,023
Well, what do you do with a mountain lion?
356
00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:33,293
I think you're supposed to punch it in the nose.
357
00:16:33,294 --> 00:16:34,423
That's a shark.
358
00:16:34,424 --> 00:16:36,363
Okay. All right.
359
00:16:36,364 --> 00:16:39,833
-Uh, stay perfectly still.
-That's a T. Rex.
360
00:16:39,834 --> 00:16:41,603
Well, I'm hearing a lot of noes.
361
00:16:41,604 --> 00:16:43,033
Why don't you throw out some ideas?
362
00:16:43,034 --> 00:16:44,203
Okay, okay.
363
00:16:44,204 --> 00:16:45,973
Marty, what you got in the bag?
364
00:16:45,974 --> 00:16:48,703
It's a Carolina pulled pork sandwich.
365
00:16:48,704 --> 00:16:52,023
Bread on the side, sauce on the side.
366
00:16:52,024 --> 00:16:54,083
You are your mama's son.
367
00:16:54,084 --> 00:16:56,143
All right, you know what?
368
00:16:56,144 --> 00:16:58,953
I got this. Okay? Come on.
369
00:16:58,954 --> 00:17:02,183
-All right, everybody just stay still.
-Grrr.
370
00:17:02,184 --> 00:17:03,983
Hey, big cat.
371
00:17:03,984 --> 00:17:06,953
Hey there, Mr. Lion.
372
00:17:06,954 --> 00:17:09,463
How you doing? You want some barbecue?
373
00:17:09,464 --> 00:17:10,523
Grrrr.
374
00:17:10,524 --> 00:17:13,933
Whoa!
Mama. Okay.
375
00:17:13,934 --> 00:17:16,963
N-Nice smile. Nice smile. I like it. Okay.
376
00:17:16,964 --> 00:17:20,403
All right. It's good barbecue.
Yummy, yummy, yummy.
377
00:17:20,404 --> 00:17:22,703
Okay... You eat meat, right?
378
00:17:22,704 --> 00:17:26,343
You're not one of those
vegan L.A. lions, are you?
379
00:17:26,344 --> 00:17:28,043
Go! Get in there!
380
00:17:28,044 --> 00:17:29,783
We haven't tried this particular place,
381
00:17:29,784 --> 00:17:32,703
but it did get four stars on Yelp.
382
00:17:32,704 --> 00:17:34,953
It's a mountain lion, not a food critic.
383
00:17:34,954 --> 00:17:37,604
Okay.
384
00:17:39,774 --> 00:17:41,693
Go, go, go! Shut the door, go shut it!
385
00:17:41,694 --> 00:17:43,063
Go shut the door!
386
00:17:43,064 --> 00:17:44,533
Whoo! Oh!
387
00:17:44,534 --> 00:17:46,033
Whew.
388
00:17:46,034 --> 00:17:47,663
We got him!
389
00:17:47,664 --> 00:17:50,833
Don't mess with the dynamic duo.
390
00:17:50,834 --> 00:17:52,273
Duo?
391
00:17:52,274 --> 00:17:54,743
Dave, I went face to face with a mountain lion.
392
00:17:54,744 --> 00:17:58,293
All you did was shut the door.
393
00:17:58,294 --> 00:18:00,313
Oh, my God, Daddy.
394
00:18:00,314 --> 00:18:01,783
You saved my life.
395
00:18:01,784 --> 00:18:06,164
You guys are my 'Blackman and Robin'.
396
00:18:07,834 --> 00:18:12,244
If the TV news comes by, you got to say that.
397
00:18:13,944 --> 00:18:16,531
Which one am I?
398
00:18:16,532 --> 00:18:18,532
---oOo---