1 00:00:03,305 --> 00:00:05,527 - Wine country, here we come. - Yes. 2 00:00:05,611 --> 00:00:08,879 The car is loaded, and in a few hours we will be, too. 3 00:00:08,963 --> 00:00:12,282 Ooh, this is gonna be the best girls' trip ever. 4 00:00:12,367 --> 00:00:15,973 Gemma, I love America, but there is no country like wine country. 5 00:00:16,057 --> 00:00:19,962 Okay, so one last decision before we hit the road: 6 00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:22,578 Which one pairs best with chardonnay, 7 00:00:22,714 --> 00:00:25,774 - Jeanette or Tamika? - Ooh. 8 00:00:26,609 --> 00:00:28,502 Oh, what about that curly black one 9 00:00:28,587 --> 00:00:30,618 that got us kicked out of that club in Vegas? 10 00:00:30,703 --> 00:00:33,032 Dominique? Oh, no, no, she's on the wagon. 11 00:00:33,249 --> 00:00:34,673 Oh. 12 00:00:34,970 --> 00:00:37,472 Uh-oh, Jeanette and Tamika. 13 00:00:37,556 --> 00:00:40,579 You can take one or the other, but you can't take both. 14 00:00:40,995 --> 00:00:43,298 I'm not bailing you three out again. 15 00:00:44,101 --> 00:00:46,321 Well, it looks like I'm gonna have to go with Tamika, 16 00:00:46,406 --> 00:00:48,312 so you better behave. 17 00:00:48,945 --> 00:00:51,196 So you want to come watch the transformation? 18 00:00:51,314 --> 00:00:54,399 Does my Aunt Mayvene dress up her cats for the holidays? 19 00:00:54,977 --> 00:00:57,494 I was hoping no, but sounds like yes. 20 00:00:57,579 --> 00:00:59,016 Yes. 21 00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:01,462 I'm just glad she's not taking Dominique. 22 00:01:01,547 --> 00:01:03,493 That hair is trifling. 23 00:01:03,814 --> 00:01:05,962 What it do, C-Dawg? 24 00:01:06,891 --> 00:01:10,011 Oh, and I thought my biggest problem was gonna be the wig. 25 00:01:10,657 --> 00:01:12,579 So, since the ladies are gonna be gone, 26 00:01:12,664 --> 00:01:14,407 I got a little surprise for us... 27 00:01:14,915 --> 00:01:17,430 Front row tickets to tonight's game. 28 00:01:17,574 --> 00:01:20,929 Seriously? Courtside to the Laker game? 29 00:01:21,059 --> 00:01:23,519 C-Dawg is in. 30 00:01:23,934 --> 00:01:25,614 Well, actually, 31 00:01:25,707 --> 00:01:28,347 it's to the hockey game. 32 00:01:30,261 --> 00:01:33,399 Hockey? C-Dawg don't bark for hockey. 33 00:01:33,929 --> 00:01:35,478 Well, come on, it's gonna be great. 34 00:01:35,571 --> 00:01:37,968 Kings are playing the Red Wings... it's an epic rivalry. 35 00:01:38,052 --> 00:01:39,150 Why don't you want to go? 36 00:01:39,235 --> 00:01:42,016 Well, for starters, I'm black. 37 00:01:43,165 --> 00:01:45,649 I know that's what everybody thinks about hockey, 38 00:01:45,734 --> 00:01:48,063 but the truth is, there's a lot of black players now. 39 00:01:48,242 --> 00:01:51,250 Yeah, but they're probably all Canadian, so that doesn't count. 40 00:01:51,540 --> 00:01:54,722 Come on, Calvin, don't be such a Negative Nancy. 41 00:01:54,807 --> 00:01:56,502 I'll tell you what, if at any point 42 00:01:56,587 --> 00:01:58,597 you're not having a good time, you can leave. 43 00:01:58,727 --> 00:02:00,140 Great. Bye-bye. 44 00:02:02,128 --> 00:02:04,409 ♪ Welcome to the block, welcome to the neighborhood ♪ 45 00:02:04,501 --> 00:02:06,408 ♪ Welcome to the hood ♪ *THE NEIGHBORHOOD* 46 00:02:06,524 --> 00:02:08,394 Season 02 Episode 16 Title: "Welcome to the Hockey Game" 47 00:02:08,568 --> 00:02:09,746 Here's your beer. 48 00:02:09,854 --> 00:02:11,990 - What'd I miss? - Nothing. 49 00:02:12,213 --> 00:02:14,670 Just a bunch of guys with no vowels in their names 50 00:02:14,755 --> 00:02:15,974 skating in circles. 51 00:02:17,386 --> 00:02:18,675 I mean, the least they could do 52 00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:20,939 is light the puck on fire or something. 53 00:02:22,222 --> 00:02:23,760 Come on, Calvin, you're missing 54 00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:25,335 the finer points of the game here. 55 00:02:25,420 --> 00:02:28,295 I mean, look at these guys, they're incredible athletes, 56 00:02:28,379 --> 00:02:31,878 skating 20 miles an hour on a quarter-inch of steel. 57 00:02:32,245 --> 00:02:34,511 I don't know, man, I-I'm just not seeing it. 58 00:02:34,596 --> 00:02:35,867 - Oh! - Oh! 59 00:02:35,952 --> 00:02:37,160 Oh, I saw that. 60 00:02:37,245 --> 00:02:39,306 Oh! Oh, and that! 61 00:02:39,390 --> 00:02:40,699 Oh! 62 00:02:40,783 --> 00:02:42,894 With hits like that, who needs vowels? 63 00:02:43,174 --> 00:02:45,680 Yeah! Get him! 64 00:02:47,237 --> 00:02:50,315 Wow, this place is beautiful. 65 00:02:50,781 --> 00:02:52,323 Now where's the wine? 66 00:02:52,636 --> 00:02:55,452 Ooh, there it is. Thank you. 67 00:02:55,920 --> 00:02:57,443 I don't work here. 68 00:02:59,807 --> 00:03:02,044 Oh, well, this is good stuff, you should get another one. 69 00:03:04,597 --> 00:03:05,753 Hello. 70 00:03:05,838 --> 00:03:08,315 Welcome to Coastal Breeze Winery. 71 00:03:08,526 --> 00:03:10,540 Hi. We have a reservation under Johnson. 72 00:03:10,625 --> 00:03:11,899 - Hmm. - If possible, 73 00:03:12,015 --> 00:03:13,759 no balcony. We may get crazy, 74 00:03:13,844 --> 00:03:16,915 and it's safer if we're in a room we can't fall out of. 75 00:03:17,384 --> 00:03:18,374 Oh, and, um, 76 00:03:18,459 --> 00:03:20,470 also nothing near the elevator. 77 00:03:20,555 --> 00:03:22,712 We don't want to be bothered by obnoxious drunks. 78 00:03:22,797 --> 00:03:24,146 Oh, yeah. 79 00:03:25,641 --> 00:03:27,344 Fill 'er up. 80 00:03:28,391 --> 00:03:30,930 Oh, my God, I can't believe it. 81 00:03:31,235 --> 00:03:33,439 You're Mary J. Blige. 82 00:03:33,531 --> 00:03:34,712 What? 83 00:03:35,727 --> 00:03:38,617 Oh, no, honey, it's the wig. 84 00:03:40,446 --> 00:03:42,100 My name is Tina Butler. 85 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:46,615 Oh, I get it. Keeping things on the down low. 86 00:03:46,954 --> 00:03:48,216 Like me. 87 00:03:49,718 --> 00:03:52,768 Sorry to disappoint you, but she really is Tina Butler. 88 00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:55,992 Well, for "Tina Butler's" privacy, 89 00:03:56,076 --> 00:03:59,834 I'm going to upgrade you to the penthouse suite. 90 00:04:00,288 --> 00:04:02,733 You can call me Mary J. 91 00:04:14,772 --> 00:04:16,577 Man, there are two things you don't want to be 92 00:04:16,662 --> 00:04:19,622 in a horror movie... Having sex or black. 93 00:04:24,591 --> 00:04:28,131 I mean, you, uh, you're not scared, are you? 94 00:04:28,482 --> 00:04:30,939 Please, Malcolm, I'm a grown man. 95 00:04:31,334 --> 00:04:33,178 I know scary movies aren't real. 96 00:04:45,551 --> 00:04:47,819 What the hell is wrong with you guys? 97 00:04:48,209 --> 00:04:49,936 Us? Nothing. 98 00:04:50,021 --> 00:04:53,350 Can't-can't two brothers scream together? 99 00:04:54,053 --> 00:04:55,570 Yeah, uh, 100 00:04:55,655 --> 00:04:57,350 Pop, what's with the outfits? 101 00:04:57,435 --> 00:04:59,005 Oh, we went to the hockey game together. 102 00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:02,246 Yeah, and it was awesome. Give me some. 103 00:05:07,925 --> 00:05:09,674 Hey, so we on for tomorrow night? 104 00:05:09,758 --> 00:05:11,683 Pink Floyd laser show at the planetarium? 105 00:05:11,774 --> 00:05:13,197 Oh, you can "planet" on it. 106 00:05:13,282 --> 00:05:14,925 Okay, see you tomorrow, buddy. 107 00:05:15,010 --> 00:05:16,441 - Bye, guys. - See you, Dave. 108 00:05:16,526 --> 00:05:17,748 Yeah. 109 00:05:23,871 --> 00:05:25,093 What? 110 00:05:25,178 --> 00:05:27,139 Uh, you're wearing a hockey jersey, 111 00:05:27,457 --> 00:05:29,636 you're going to a Pink Floyd laser show, 112 00:05:29,721 --> 00:05:31,683 and you just made a pun about planets. 113 00:05:31,859 --> 00:05:34,457 Come on, man, I thought it was "punny." 114 00:05:36,519 --> 00:05:37,789 Okay, it's official, 115 00:05:38,043 --> 00:05:40,840 you are turning into a very tan Dave. 116 00:05:41,285 --> 00:05:43,449 I am not turning into Dave. 117 00:05:43,534 --> 00:05:45,888 So you're saying you're a Pink Floyd fan? 118 00:05:46,185 --> 00:05:48,970 Yeah, all his new stuff is great. 119 00:05:51,003 --> 00:05:53,922 I don't know, Pop, ever since you and Dave became friends, 120 00:05:54,061 --> 00:05:55,761 you are kind of a different person. 121 00:05:55,846 --> 00:05:57,152 Yeah, you don't go to 122 00:05:57,237 --> 00:05:59,621 Ernie's anymore, you don't play dominoes with the boys, 123 00:05:59,706 --> 00:06:01,817 and just the other day I saw you put a quarter 124 00:06:01,902 --> 00:06:03,550 in someone else's parking meter. 125 00:06:03,658 --> 00:06:05,652 It's called paying it forward, 126 00:06:05,877 --> 00:06:08,970 which also happens to be an excellent movie. 127 00:06:09,457 --> 00:06:12,457 Okay, who are you, and what have you done with our father? 128 00:06:13,778 --> 00:06:14,988 Man, y'all tripping. 129 00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:17,746 You're just being a couple of Negative Nancys. 130 00:06:19,410 --> 00:06:20,872 Who said that? 131 00:06:22,471 --> 00:06:24,184 Did you see the bathroom? 132 00:06:24,269 --> 00:06:27,172 I mean, if this isn't the nicest hotel I've ever seen, 133 00:06:27,280 --> 00:06:29,535 then my name isn't Mary J. Blige. 134 00:06:30,418 --> 00:06:33,090 Your name isn't Mary J. Blige. 135 00:06:33,571 --> 00:06:36,019 It's Tina J. Liar. 136 00:06:37,149 --> 00:06:40,083 Oh, come on, Gemma, we're not hurting anyone. 137 00:06:40,168 --> 00:06:42,997 I know, but aren't you worried about getting caught? 138 00:06:43,254 --> 00:06:44,379 A little, 139 00:06:44,504 --> 00:06:47,168 but I think those free massages they're sending up 140 00:06:47,253 --> 00:06:49,388 will melt those worries away. 141 00:06:49,499 --> 00:06:52,130 Wait, when did you arrange that? 142 00:06:52,215 --> 00:06:54,908 I didn't, my publicist did. 143 00:06:55,057 --> 00:06:56,820 And if anyone asks you, you're my publicist. 144 00:06:56,905 --> 00:06:59,693 No. Tina, 145 00:06:59,823 --> 00:07:01,785 we are never gonna be able to pull this off. 146 00:07:01,965 --> 00:07:04,180 Just because one guy thought you were Mary J. Blige 147 00:07:04,264 --> 00:07:06,008 doesn't mean you can fool a whole hotel. 148 00:07:06,185 --> 00:07:07,969 Of white people? 149 00:07:09,410 --> 00:07:11,544 Honey, I could tell them I was Martin Luther King, 150 00:07:11,629 --> 00:07:12,918 and they'd believe it. 151 00:07:14,050 --> 00:07:15,645 All this free stuff just doesn't 152 00:07:15,730 --> 00:07:17,519 seem like it's worth the risk. 153 00:07:17,667 --> 00:07:20,394 Gemma, this is not about free stuff. 154 00:07:20,479 --> 00:07:21,950 Then what is it? 155 00:07:22,035 --> 00:07:24,027 Well, I know this may sound silly, 156 00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:25,590 but ever since I was a little girl, 157 00:07:25,675 --> 00:07:27,768 I always wanted to be a famous singer, 158 00:07:28,043 --> 00:07:30,777 and now for the next couple of days, I can be. 159 00:07:31,002 --> 00:07:32,572 I mean, didn't you ever dream like that? 160 00:07:33,949 --> 00:07:35,480 Yes. 161 00:07:36,272 --> 00:07:38,066 Back when I was growing up in Hickory Corners, 162 00:07:38,150 --> 00:07:41,718 I always dreamed of being the Fall Festival Hog Queen. 163 00:07:43,954 --> 00:07:45,805 What is that and why? 164 00:07:45,957 --> 00:07:48,137 It is the biggest honor in town. 165 00:07:48,336 --> 00:07:51,401 You get a sash, a tiara, and you get to ride down Main Street 166 00:07:51,485 --> 00:07:54,360 on a float pulled by a team of pigs. 167 00:07:55,891 --> 00:07:57,842 What a relatable story. 168 00:07:58,211 --> 00:07:59,757 I would've won, too. 169 00:07:59,841 --> 00:08:02,281 I crushed the bacon-eating contest, 170 00:08:02,365 --> 00:08:06,227 but that damn greased pig got away from me every time. 171 00:08:06,782 --> 00:08:08,532 Gemma, I never thought I would say this, 172 00:08:08,617 --> 00:08:12,071 but being Mary J. Blige... 173 00:08:13,672 --> 00:08:15,762 ...is my greased pig. 174 00:08:23,868 --> 00:08:25,899 Morning. 175 00:08:33,458 --> 00:08:35,109 Hey, look at that. 176 00:08:35,268 --> 00:08:38,688 - Great minds dress alike. - We're not dressed alike. 177 00:08:39,007 --> 00:08:41,993 My shirt has little blue squares, and yours has, um, 178 00:08:42,266 --> 00:08:44,018 little blue boxes. 179 00:08:45,203 --> 00:08:46,650 I don't know. 180 00:08:46,735 --> 00:08:48,141 Looks pretty similar to me. 181 00:08:48,297 --> 00:08:50,156 Yeah, well, no one else would think that. 182 00:08:50,281 --> 00:08:53,211 Look at you two, twinsies! 183 00:09:00,728 --> 00:09:02,180 Hey, what's up, boys? 184 00:09:03,828 --> 00:09:04,992 Well, what is up with you, 185 00:09:05,077 --> 00:09:08,321 Run-DMC, you're having a midlife crisis? 186 00:09:08,922 --> 00:09:11,336 Very funny. For your information, 187 00:09:11,444 --> 00:09:14,211 I'm kicking it with my old dance crew tonight. 188 00:09:14,553 --> 00:09:16,415 Your old dance crew? 189 00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:18,829 Didn't Keith just have hip surgery? 190 00:09:19,484 --> 00:09:21,524 Yeah. You know, he's still got his handicap placard, 191 00:09:21,609 --> 00:09:24,493 so we get to park right in front of the club. 192 00:09:24,586 --> 00:09:26,141 But I thought you were supposed to go 193 00:09:26,226 --> 00:09:27,438 to the planetarium tonight? 194 00:09:27,523 --> 00:09:30,031 Yeah, man, but those planets gonna be there forever. 195 00:09:30,124 --> 00:09:33,391 Keith's handicap placard, it expires next week. 196 00:09:34,651 --> 00:09:38,005 Come on, Pop, is this because we teased you about becoming Dave? 197 00:09:38,090 --> 00:09:42,539 No. This is about me getting back in touch with my roots, 198 00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:44,362 about not forgetting who I am. 199 00:09:44,930 --> 00:09:46,555 And who exactly is that? 200 00:09:46,708 --> 00:09:49,975 Calvi-tronic, the Bionic Breaking Machine. 201 00:09:59,014 --> 00:10:00,671 Oh. 202 00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:02,720 I don't know about a breaking machine, 203 00:10:02,804 --> 00:10:04,722 but something just broke inside of me. 204 00:10:06,896 --> 00:10:10,195 Uh-oh, there's Dave. What you gonna tell him? 205 00:10:10,422 --> 00:10:12,945 I'm a grown-ass man. 206 00:10:13,151 --> 00:10:14,236 I'm not afraid 207 00:10:14,321 --> 00:10:16,422 to tell him what's what. 208 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:18,922 I'm gonna tell him I'm sick. 209 00:10:22,258 --> 00:10:24,421 Hey, Calvin. You ready to roll? 210 00:10:24,648 --> 00:10:26,758 Nice blanket. I have one just like it. 211 00:10:27,086 --> 00:10:29,811 Can't go tonight, man. I'm sick. 212 00:10:29,904 --> 00:10:31,169 Oh, no. 213 00:10:31,341 --> 00:10:32,549 Got sick at the hockey game. 214 00:10:32,643 --> 00:10:35,246 It was really cold in there, man. 215 00:10:40,967 --> 00:10:42,014 Really? You know, 216 00:10:42,099 --> 00:10:43,927 they keep the rink at 65 degrees. 217 00:10:44,138 --> 00:10:47,099 I know, but for black people, that's like 32. 218 00:10:48,435 --> 00:10:50,631 Okay, well, feel better, buddy.Yeah. 219 00:10:50,716 --> 00:10:52,919 - Bye, guys. - Okay... 220 00:10:54,099 --> 00:10:55,794 Damn, Pop, that was cold. 221 00:10:56,255 --> 00:10:57,627 I know. 222 00:10:57,985 --> 00:11:00,154 32 degrees, baby. 223 00:11:05,329 --> 00:11:09,287 Ooh, that was an amazing massage. 224 00:11:09,372 --> 00:11:10,780 Not as good as the one yesterday, 225 00:11:10,865 --> 00:11:13,310 but better than the one this morning. 226 00:11:14,059 --> 00:11:15,872 It was pretty great. 227 00:11:16,271 --> 00:11:18,241 But do you feel like we're taking advantage? 228 00:11:19,256 --> 00:11:21,478 Ooh, yay! That must be our second lobsters. 229 00:11:21,562 --> 00:11:23,115 Hi, Jeffrey. 230 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:25,827 Hi. This is awkward, but... 231 00:11:25,912 --> 00:11:28,646 We can explain. I wanted to be Hog Queen. 232 00:11:30,740 --> 00:11:33,185 Don't... don't mind my publicist. 233 00:11:33,270 --> 00:11:35,255 She has a pill problem. 234 00:11:36,490 --> 00:11:38,311 So what can we do for you? 235 00:11:38,396 --> 00:11:40,889 Well, one of our guests is celebrating her birthday 236 00:11:40,973 --> 00:11:43,587 later tonight in the lounge, and I was hoping... 237 00:11:43,671 --> 00:11:47,185 that Ms. Blige could pop by for a quick hello. 238 00:11:47,865 --> 00:11:49,037 Okay, honey, 239 00:11:49,122 --> 00:11:51,252 - that sounds like fun. - Oh, and you know 240 00:11:51,368 --> 00:11:54,064 what would be even more fun? If she sings "Happy Birthday." 241 00:11:54,188 --> 00:11:55,673 Oh, yeah, that'd be real... 242 00:11:55,782 --> 00:11:57,314 Wait, what?! 243 00:11:57,743 --> 00:12:00,362 Oh, that is so amazing. Thank you. 244 00:12:00,447 --> 00:12:02,093 I am much obliged. 245 00:12:02,312 --> 00:12:03,691 You see what I did there? 246 00:12:03,775 --> 00:12:04,775 Did you see it? Fun. 247 00:12:04,860 --> 00:12:06,085 Okay. 248 00:12:07,259 --> 00:12:08,948 What the hell, Gemma? 249 00:12:09,033 --> 00:12:11,150 How tight is that towel? 250 00:12:11,978 --> 00:12:13,400 Tina. Don't you see? 251 00:12:13,484 --> 00:12:14,846 This is your dream. 252 00:12:14,931 --> 00:12:16,651 Tonight's your night to be famous. 253 00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,494 Yeah, but as soon as I open my mouth, 254 00:12:18,579 --> 00:12:21,049 they're gonna know that I'm not Mary J. Blige. 255 00:12:21,134 --> 00:12:24,048 No, they won't. You have an amazing voice. 256 00:12:24,133 --> 00:12:27,197 Yeah. But still! 257 00:12:27,993 --> 00:12:30,744 Besides, it's like you said, this is a winery. 258 00:12:30,829 --> 00:12:33,072 Everyone here is whiter than the chardonnay. 259 00:12:34,251 --> 00:12:37,072 Well, it does sound kind of fun. 260 00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:38,425 Now you're talking. 261 00:12:38,509 --> 00:12:40,869 And, hey, maybe I could be your backup singer. 262 00:12:40,954 --> 00:12:42,956 Stay in your lane, pig girl. 263 00:12:47,039 --> 00:12:49,018 Oh, hey, uh, Dave. 264 00:12:49,103 --> 00:12:51,438 I thought you were going to the planetarium. 265 00:12:51,672 --> 00:12:53,979 Well, I was, but I realized it wouldn't be as much fun 266 00:12:54,081 --> 00:12:55,658 without Calvin, so I decided to stay home 267 00:12:55,742 --> 00:12:56,953 and make him some soup. 268 00:12:57,038 --> 00:12:58,205 How's he doing? 269 00:12:58,298 --> 00:13:00,181 - Better. - Worse. 270 00:13:00,681 --> 00:13:01,881 Well, which is it? 271 00:13:01,966 --> 00:13:03,750 - Worse. - Better. 272 00:13:05,188 --> 00:13:08,107 Okay, well, uh, maybe the soup will help.Yeah. 273 00:13:08,191 --> 00:13:10,349 Just tell him I'll check in on him tomorrow. 274 00:13:15,062 --> 00:13:16,281 Yeah. 275 00:13:18,626 --> 00:13:20,018 Hey. 276 00:13:23,641 --> 00:13:25,451 Calvin, what are you doing out of bed, 277 00:13:25,536 --> 00:13:27,287 and why are you dressed so funky fresh? 278 00:13:27,372 --> 00:13:28,529 Uh, 279 00:13:28,614 --> 00:13:30,998 I went to the drugstore to get some medicine. 280 00:13:31,083 --> 00:13:32,566 Where is it? 281 00:13:32,810 --> 00:13:35,240 Damn it, I knew I forgot something. 282 00:13:35,957 --> 00:13:37,614 Hold on. 283 00:13:37,698 --> 00:13:40,443 Calvin, did you lie to me about being sick? 284 00:13:40,746 --> 00:13:43,228 No. Because I amsick. 285 00:13:43,547 --> 00:13:45,035 I let down my defenses 286 00:13:45,175 --> 00:13:48,851 and got all infected with your Dave-ness. 287 00:13:50,179 --> 00:13:51,462 Wh... Infected? 288 00:13:51,547 --> 00:13:53,751 Yeah, I mean, you got me going to hockey. 289 00:13:53,836 --> 00:13:55,676 I mean, you and I are dressing alike. 290 00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:57,765 The other day a Taylor Swift song came on, 291 00:13:57,849 --> 00:13:59,680 and I didn't even turn it off. 292 00:13:59,764 --> 00:14:02,723 Actually, he turned it up. 293 00:14:05,340 --> 00:14:08,303 I didn't know having things in common was being infected. 294 00:14:09,125 --> 00:14:10,517 I thought that was being friends. 295 00:14:10,991 --> 00:14:12,499 Uh... 296 00:14:12,584 --> 00:14:14,030 - Dave. - No, you know what, Calvin? 297 00:14:14,115 --> 00:14:15,695 You said your piece. Enjoy the soup. 298 00:14:15,795 --> 00:14:18,819 It's infected, too. With love! 299 00:14:23,476 --> 00:14:26,312 Ooh... thank you for making me do this, Gemma. 300 00:14:26,412 --> 00:14:28,240 I'm feeling kind of hyped. 301 00:14:29,444 --> 00:14:30,711 Oh, good. You're here. 302 00:14:30,795 --> 00:14:33,086 Thank you again for doing this, Ms. Blige. 303 00:14:33,171 --> 00:14:34,500 Okay. So the birthday girl's name 304 00:14:34,585 --> 00:14:35,846 is Cynthia, and she is sitting 305 00:14:35,930 --> 00:14:37,210 right over there. 306 00:14:40,195 --> 00:14:42,522 She is not going to believe this! 307 00:14:42,667 --> 00:14:44,913 No, she is not. 308 00:14:45,835 --> 00:14:49,509 Okay, so I'm gonna go introduce you. Showtime! 309 00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:52,733 Tina, they're not white! 310 00:14:52,817 --> 00:14:54,086 They're gonna know. 311 00:14:54,171 --> 00:14:55,997 Okay. All right. Gemma... 312 00:14:56,081 --> 00:14:57,281 let's get the hell out of here. 313 00:14:57,429 --> 00:14:59,305 Ladies and gentlemen, the one and only 314 00:14:59,389 --> 00:15:01,352 Mary J. Blige! 315 00:15:01,437 --> 00:15:03,526 Oh... Gemma. 316 00:15:05,569 --> 00:15:06,834 How you doing? 317 00:15:06,918 --> 00:15:08,923 Oh, what the hell are we gonna do? 318 00:15:09,007 --> 00:15:11,230 Okay. Okay. It's gonna be fine. 319 00:15:11,314 --> 00:15:12,352 You're gonna go up there, 320 00:15:12,437 --> 00:15:13,928 you're gonna sing your heart out, 321 00:15:14,092 --> 00:15:16,242 and you're gonna live your dream. Okay? 322 00:15:16,436 --> 00:15:17,670 You're right. You're right. 323 00:15:17,770 --> 00:15:18,810 - This is my chance. - Yes. 324 00:15:19,012 --> 00:15:20,103 I got this. 325 00:15:20,188 --> 00:15:21,450 But just in case... 326 00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:26,153 It'll be harder to describe me to the police. 327 00:15:27,990 --> 00:15:29,690 Oh, thank you. Thank you so much. 328 00:15:29,945 --> 00:15:32,342 Hey, how you doing? 329 00:15:32,930 --> 00:15:34,731 Well, this song goes out 330 00:15:34,815 --> 00:15:36,305 to my girl Cynthia. 331 00:15:40,511 --> 00:15:43,883 ♪ Happy birthday 332 00:15:43,968 --> 00:15:45,927 ♪ To you 333 00:15:48,838 --> 00:15:49,886 ♪ Happy 334 00:15:49,971 --> 00:15:52,803 ♪ Birthday to 335 00:15:53,051 --> 00:15:54,938 ♪ You 336 00:15:55,445 --> 00:15:58,799 ♪ Happy birthday 337 00:15:58,883 --> 00:16:01,531 ♪ Dear Cynthia 338 00:16:02,055 --> 00:16:06,163 ♪ Happy birthday 339 00:16:06,278 --> 00:16:08,849 ♪ To 340 00:16:08,995 --> 00:16:11,429 ♪ You. 341 00:16:15,378 --> 00:16:16,711 Thank you. 342 00:16:17,328 --> 00:16:18,923 Thank you so much, Ms. Blige. 343 00:16:19,008 --> 00:16:20,305 That was simply beautiful. 344 00:16:20,390 --> 00:16:21,742 Awesome. I'm not done yet. 345 00:16:21,827 --> 00:16:25,110 "Family Affair," hit it! 346 00:16:27,563 --> 00:16:30,786 ♪ Yeah, yeah 347 00:16:30,871 --> 00:16:32,615 ♪ Oh, yeah 348 00:16:32,946 --> 00:16:35,792 ♪ Come on, everybody! 349 00:16:35,876 --> 00:16:36,793 Isn't she amazing? 350 00:16:36,946 --> 00:16:38,795 She is. 351 00:16:38,879 --> 00:16:41,142 But she sure as hell ain't Mary J. Blige. 352 00:16:43,275 --> 00:16:45,367 Okay, look. She's my best friend, 353 00:16:45,451 --> 00:16:47,021 and she's up there living her dream. 354 00:16:47,105 --> 00:16:48,105 So? 355 00:16:48,297 --> 00:16:49,980 So, if you don't rat us out, 356 00:16:50,064 --> 00:16:51,634 you can have our penthouse suite, 357 00:16:51,718 --> 00:16:53,506 all the massages we have scheduled for tomorrow, 358 00:16:53,590 --> 00:16:54,765 and... 359 00:16:55,755 --> 00:16:57,149 68 bucks. 360 00:17:00,227 --> 00:17:03,407 - Go, Mary! - Go, Mary! - Go, Mary! - Go, Mary! - Go, Mary! - Go, Mary! 361 00:17:03,624 --> 00:17:06,024 ♪ Let's get it crunk upon 362 00:17:06,109 --> 00:17:08,607 ♪ Have fun upon up in this dancery ♪ 363 00:17:08,692 --> 00:17:11,959 ♪ We got ya open, now you're floatin' ♪ 364 00:17:12,043 --> 00:17:14,091 ♪ So you gots to dance for me 365 00:17:14,198 --> 00:17:16,344 ♪ Don't need no hateration 366 00:17:16,429 --> 00:17:19,226 ♪ Holleration in this dancery 367 00:17:19,311 --> 00:17:22,399 ♪ Let's get it percolatin', while you're... ♪ 368 00:17:24,805 --> 00:17:25,886 Hey, Dave. 369 00:17:25,970 --> 00:17:27,141 Yeah, careful, Calvin. 370 00:17:27,226 --> 00:17:28,758 You don't want to catch anything else. 371 00:17:28,842 --> 00:17:31,631 I've been told my laugh is pretty contagious. 372 00:17:32,773 --> 00:17:33,807 Look, man... 373 00:17:33,907 --> 00:17:35,199 I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, 374 00:17:35,283 --> 00:17:37,637 but I just felt like your Dave-ness 375 00:17:37,721 --> 00:17:39,769 was rubbing off on me too much. 376 00:17:39,853 --> 00:17:41,336 Well, what's wrong with that? 377 00:17:41,420 --> 00:17:44,274 Why can't friends rub off on each other? 378 00:17:45,766 --> 00:17:48,547 Rubbing off on people is completely natural. 379 00:17:48,632 --> 00:17:51,625 I welcome people rubbing off on me. 380 00:17:52,365 --> 00:17:55,676 If anybody's listening, we're just neighbors! 381 00:17:56,711 --> 00:17:59,071 I just don't understand why it's such a bad thing 382 00:17:59,157 --> 00:18:01,274 for friends to influence each other. 383 00:18:01,527 --> 00:18:03,447 You don't think that I've changed because of you? 384 00:18:03,539 --> 00:18:04,836 How have youchanged? 385 00:18:04,931 --> 00:18:06,839 I'm more assertive, like you, 386 00:18:06,924 --> 00:18:08,624 I'm more confident, like you, 387 00:18:08,708 --> 00:18:10,539 and if someone's being a jackass, I now tell them 388 00:18:10,623 --> 00:18:12,235 they're being a jackass... 389 00:18:12,570 --> 00:18:13,969 jackass. 390 00:18:14,313 --> 00:18:15,814 One more compliment like that, 391 00:18:15,898 --> 00:18:17,250 and we're gonna have a problem. 392 00:18:17,369 --> 00:18:19,883 Calvin, we already do have a problem. 393 00:18:19,968 --> 00:18:21,680 Why would I want to be friends with someone 394 00:18:21,765 --> 00:18:24,466 who thinks being me is such a bad thing? 395 00:18:24,750 --> 00:18:25,815 'Cause I'm dope. 396 00:18:26,039 --> 00:18:29,563 And your attitude... It's... wickity-wack. 397 00:18:31,274 --> 00:18:35,738 Look, Dave, I don't think being you is a bad thing. 398 00:18:35,822 --> 00:18:37,436 All right, you're a good dude. 399 00:18:37,704 --> 00:18:39,655 But Calvin Butler has an edge. 400 00:18:39,739 --> 00:18:42,179 And around here, people see me a certain way, 401 00:18:42,263 --> 00:18:43,625 and I don't want to lose that. 402 00:18:43,710 --> 00:18:45,019 Fine, but don't blame me 403 00:18:45,104 --> 00:18:48,571 because Taylor Swift sang her way into your heart. 404 00:18:48,774 --> 00:18:51,469 I don't know what it is, she just gets me. 405 00:18:53,714 --> 00:18:55,197 But you're right. 406 00:18:55,633 --> 00:18:59,494 I shouldn't have done that, and, uh... I'm sorry. 407 00:19:00,532 --> 00:19:03,125 You know what? It, it's okay. 408 00:19:04,024 --> 00:19:05,855 You know what's better than okay? 409 00:19:06,039 --> 00:19:08,047 That soup you made. 410 00:19:09,159 --> 00:19:11,321 I knewyou'd like it. 411 00:19:11,465 --> 00:19:13,548 I used the parsnips we got from the farmers market. 412 00:19:13,633 --> 00:19:15,160 Oh, yeah, right. From the lady... 413 00:19:15,253 --> 00:19:17,704 - With the yellow overalls. - With the yellow overalls. 414 00:19:18,860 --> 00:19:21,329 - No, that's too much. - Yeah, this is getting weird. Okay. 415 00:19:28,460 --> 00:19:30,680 Hey, man. We were in the middle of a game. 416 00:19:30,765 --> 00:19:31,789 Not anymore. 417 00:19:31,899 --> 00:19:34,977 It's been canceled on the account of dance. 418 00:19:36,360 --> 00:19:38,189 Oh, come on, Dad. We don't want to see 419 00:19:38,274 --> 00:19:39,634 your tired old dance moves. 420 00:19:39,719 --> 00:19:42,696 Yeah. And I'm not helping you up this time. 421 00:19:43,110 --> 00:19:46,145 Nah, man. What you're about to see is all new. 422 00:19:46,230 --> 00:19:47,696 Yo, D-Money! 423 00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:58,153 Let's get stupid. 424 00:20:00,729 --> 00:20:01,911 ♪ Uh! 425 00:20:04,709 --> 00:20:05,872 ♪ Uh! 426 00:20:08,522 --> 00:20:09,849 ♪ Uh! 427 00:20:12,575 --> 00:20:13,864 ♪ Uh! 428 00:20:16,544 --> 00:20:18,024 ♪ Uh! 429 00:20:24,059 --> 00:20:26,216 Are-are we gonna sit here and watch this? 430 00:20:26,395 --> 00:20:28,045 Hell no. 431 00:20:28,177 --> 00:20:29,713 Let's battle these fools. 432 00:20:29,828 --> 00:20:31,789 ♪ Uh! 433 00:20:34,999 --> 00:20:36,566 ♪ Uh! 434 00:20:39,205 --> 00:20:40,685 ♪ Uh! 435 00:20:40,769 --> 00:20:42,769 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 436 00:20:43,012 --> 00:20:44,349 ♪ Uh! 437 00:20:45,103 --> 00:20:46,125 ♪ Uh! 438 00:20:46,430 --> 00:20:48,293 Sync & corrections by srjanapala 439 00:20:48,711 --> 00:20:49,771 ♪ Uh!