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[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
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What happened to this country?
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[IMITATES GUN FIRING]
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Bravo.
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[clock chiming]
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GUILLERMO:
It's a really weird time
in the household
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because Colin Robinson
is no longer with us.
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I mean, vampires are
no strangers to death.
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They deal with it every day
with the people that they kill.
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But when they lose
one of their own,
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they just don't know
how to deal with it.
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I mean, their only
funeral-type tradition
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is that they get
a new portrait made
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with all of them except for
the newly deceased,
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and I don't think that's
a really healthy way
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of dealing with the loss
of a family member.
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Perhaps we'd all like
to go around the room
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and each one of say something
that we liked
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- about Colin Robinson?
- Oh, leave us alone, Guillermo.
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You're giving everyone
a big bummer.
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When she's right, she's right.
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- LASZLO: Should he even be here?
- GUIDE: I know.
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I did think this was sort of
a "vampires only" portrait.
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Hey, he is a valued member
of the team
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and has every right
to be in this portrait.
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Even though he is a dog.
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LASZLO:
I wasn't talking about the dog,
you halfwit,
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I was talking about Gizmo.
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Yes, well,
Gizmo needs to be here
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to help control the Hellhound.
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GUILLERMO:
If they talked about
their feelings,
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then the healing could begin.
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-[whining]
- Guillermo,
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your Hellhound is
wandering around
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and pissing all over
our floors.
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And once they're healed,
they would realize that
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the dynamic's a little off.
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So maybe they need
to make a new vampire.
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I-I just heard it,
and I know...
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I know what you're thinking,
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but I truly believe that
that's what's needed
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to really restore--
And I deserve it.
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["You're Dead"
by Norma Tanega playing]
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♪ Don't sing if you want
to live long♪
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♪ They have no use
for your song♪
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♪ You're dead, you're dead,
you're dead♪
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♪ You're dead
and out of this world♪
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♪ Now your hope and compassion
is gone♪
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♪ You sold out your dream
to the world♪
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♪ Stay dead, stay dead,
stay dead♪
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♪ You're dead
and out of this world.♪
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♪
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DONAL: Yeah,
I took up painting
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during season two
of Grounded for Life.
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As an actor,
you spend a lot of time
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sitting around your trailer,
waiting for them
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to light the next scene
or whatnot,
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so I got some brushes
and a how-to book from Blick,
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and I think I've gotten
pretty good.
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This is the cast of
Grounded for Life.
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Oh, my God, Jake and Griffin
were so squirrely,
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I was like,
"Look, here's the deal.
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"I'm gonna take a picture,
and then you guys can fuck off
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and do whatever
you want to do."
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I finished the painting
from a photo, but you know,
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that's the way a lot
of the masters work now.
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This is the front gate
of Radford in Studio City.
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I was really happy with
the way the light reflected
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off the admin building
that day.
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I think I really captured it.
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This was a gaffer
I worked with onER.
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The guy had just
such an amazing face,
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I was just staring at it.
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I was staring at it
when I was on camera,
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which would get me in trouble,
you know?
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But I think
I really got his essence.
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So when the gang here said
that they needed
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a new portrait done,
I said I'd be more than happy
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to stick around and do it
because I had some downtime
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between the next meeting of
the Worldwide Vampiric Council
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and the two-episode arc
I booked on SVU next month.
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You gotta remember
I came up with MTV in the '90s,
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where they were like,
"Go shoot 15 hours
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"of Jimmy the Cab Driver,
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and then we'll figure out
where to stick it later,"
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- but when I got Grounded...
- NADJA: Oof.
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- This buhbutz is really
killing me.
- I know.
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Right? I mean,
I like the cinema,
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but don't need to know
how the sausage is made.
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Yeah, and it's kind of
insensitive.
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I mean, we're all still
mourning the death
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- of Colin Robinson.
- I'm not.
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Well, that's what
I'm talking about.
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We need to talk about that.
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- How you're feeling...
- We don't need to talk
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about anything.
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We are having our picture
painted.
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Then we will have a picture
that Colin Robinson is not in,
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and we can forget about him
forever,
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and this will heal us.
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Why did we have to rush it?
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The corpse has barely
begun to stink,
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and we've got the Tao of Steve
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- painting our portrait.
- NANDOR: Oh, here we go.
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Nadja's masking her
true feelings with a joke.
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That was not a joke.
A joke has a punchline.
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And you wouldn't know
a punchline if it ran over
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your scrotum with
a penny farthing!
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[laughter]
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Oh, I am sorry,
but that was a good one.
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Also, I feast upon hate.
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You know what?
Fuck this whole thing!
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Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!
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You're cool.
Fuck you, and fuck you!
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- Fuck all this shit!
- Whoa.
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You are not storming away
from me.
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I am storming away from you,
but in a different direction!
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- Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Fuck you.
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DONAL:
You know what,
maybe we should just
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take five, shake it off.
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When he says "take five,"
five of what?
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And where are we taking them?
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This last year,
it has not been easy on me.
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My search for love has
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been stymied at every turn.
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- I'm a lesbian.
- Are you sure?
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Definitely sure.
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Would you do me the honor
of being
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my vampire bride?
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I was married before.
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NANDOR: I discovered that
there is no meaning or purpose
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to the universe,
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because of the Big Bang Theory.
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And on top of all that,
the death of Colin Robinson--
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it has, I must confess,
hit me quite hard.
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Life is precious.
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Even so-called eternal life
can be snuffed out
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at a moment's notice.
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Colin Robinson's head imploding
into a pile of goo
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has made me realize that I need
to make the most of my life.
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Which is why I've decided
to leave Staten Island
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- and travel the world.
- What?
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Visit the Great Fjords of
whatever country they're in.
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Get a job on one of those boats
that collect plastic
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- from the ocean.
- What the hell
are you talking about?
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- Guillermo, did I not tell you
all this already?
- No.
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- Sorry. Would you mind giving
us a moment?
- Sorry.
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Can you just give us
one minute?
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- Thank you so much.
- NANDOR: Appreciate it.
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GUILLERMO:
Careful with the rug.
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You can't make any rational
decisions right now
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because you're dealing
with Colin Robinson's death
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and you're running away
from your feelings.
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Yeah. So what?
I hate my feelings.
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You know what, this plan,
it sounds great out loud,
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but I-I, I just can't drop
everything that I'm doing.
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I have duties, you know.
Responsibilities.
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Like, my mom is here.
I can't just pack a bag
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and go on a world tour with you
at the drop of a hat.
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You're not coming with me.
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What?
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You are one of the things
I need to get away from
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to make a fresh start.
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No offense.
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Okay, well,
how you gonna travel?
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Just by night?
You're just gonna carry
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your ancestral dirt with you
and your coffin wherever you go?
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- That-that's insane.
- Yes, you're right.
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There's a lot of details
to figure out.
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And you are going
to figure them out for me.
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- Oh, surprise, surprise.
- As your last duty.
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My sweet, sweet Guillermo.
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You don't understand because?
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I'm not a vampire.
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Yes! Trust me,
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Nadja and Laszlo,
they are itching to get away.
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These vampire pods,
they don't last forever.
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And I'm not gonna be
the last one in here
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all alone like a fucking loser.
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I would rather not talk
about the death
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of Shmolin Shmobinson
because my dear husband Laszlo
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is having a bit of
a hard time dealing with it.
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What are you talking about?
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I said you were having
a hard time dealing
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with Colin Robinson's very
disgusting and tragic death.
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Well, that would be bullshit,
then, wouldn't it, my darling?
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I couldn't give a tinker's fig.
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- People die all the time.
-[whispers indistinctly]
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00:07:10,517 --> 00:07:12,954
-[Guillermo gasps]
- Animals die, plants die.
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Oh, Gizmo, it's just you.
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It's kind of important.
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Can't you see I'm doing my
talking-to-the-camera thing?
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I'm busy. Shoo!
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...by lunchtime I was
in the whorehouse
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00:07:22,180 --> 00:07:24,487
with two prostitutes
and three good-time boys.
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00:07:24,531 --> 00:07:27,229
Hold on, I've just had
the best idea.
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00:07:27,272 --> 00:07:28,448
I think I might know
just the thing
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to cheer you up, my love.
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I don't need cheering up.
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How's about me and you
take a lovely little trip
201
00:07:33,844 --> 00:07:37,108
- back to merry old England?
- No.
202
00:07:37,152 --> 00:07:38,762
We could get a red bus
and make love in it.
203
00:07:38,806 --> 00:07:41,983
We could get a black cab
and make love in it.
204
00:07:42,026 --> 00:07:44,420
We could go to Madame Tussaud's
and look around.
205
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:46,117
If I were to need
rest and recuperation
206
00:07:46,161 --> 00:07:49,120
for my dear friend's death,
that fuck hole would be
207
00:07:49,164 --> 00:07:51,035
the last place on Earth
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00:07:51,079 --> 00:07:52,428
that I would choose
to go back to.
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00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,909
You know this.
I made a precious vow
210
00:07:54,952 --> 00:07:58,129
- never to go back there again.
- Laszlo! Ugh!
211
00:07:58,173 --> 00:08:01,350
United Kingdom?
United Ding-dong, more like.
212
00:08:01,393 --> 00:08:03,961
Nadja, Nadja,
I really need your help.
213
00:08:04,005 --> 00:08:05,397
It's about Nandor.
214
00:08:07,008 --> 00:08:10,881
- I suppose we just wait.
I don't know.
-[hisses]
215
00:08:10,925 --> 00:08:12,404
We have a problem.
216
00:08:12,448 --> 00:08:13,928
You are not the only one
with problems, Gizmo!
217
00:08:13,971 --> 00:08:15,843
Look at you.
"Oh, everyone feel sorry for me
218
00:08:15,886 --> 00:08:17,322
"'cause I'm a pathetic human,
219
00:08:17,366 --> 00:08:18,846
"and I can't fly,
and all I do is
220
00:08:18,889 --> 00:08:20,456
sit on the toilet all day."
221
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:23,590
Well, what about my needs?
Look. Look at this.
222
00:08:26,549 --> 00:08:28,899
Uh, that's not how that works.
223
00:08:28,943 --> 00:08:30,422
- Oh, you do it!
- Okay.
224
00:08:30,466 --> 00:08:32,512
This is a glass paperweight,
225
00:08:32,555 --> 00:08:35,123
and this is the TV control.
226
00:08:35,166 --> 00:08:37,081
- We push this in...
- Patronizing.
227
00:08:37,125 --> 00:08:38,692
...and play.
228
00:08:38,735 --> 00:08:41,912
[brief theme music plays]
229
00:08:41,956 --> 00:08:45,089
-This is not taping over
RuPaul, is it?
- No, no.
230
00:08:45,133 --> 00:08:46,830
-'Cause I haven't seen
the latest episode.
- It's a fresh...
231
00:08:46,874 --> 00:08:49,180
-Okay, good. What?
- We're recording.
232
00:08:49,224 --> 00:08:50,747
Oh. Ahem.
233
00:08:50,791 --> 00:08:54,272
Dark greetings,
Nadja of Antipaxos.
234
00:08:54,316 --> 00:08:56,710
You must know by now
that I've had my eye on you
235
00:08:56,753 --> 00:08:58,363
for quite some time.
236
00:08:58,407 --> 00:09:00,975
Your work on your local
Vampiric Council
237
00:09:01,018 --> 00:09:03,891
has been quite impressive.
Yas, queen.
238
00:09:03,934 --> 00:09:06,023
Everyone is going on about it.
239
00:09:06,067 --> 00:09:09,461
And thus, we would be delighted
for you to join us
240
00:09:09,505 --> 00:09:11,681
in London, in England,
241
00:09:11,725 --> 00:09:14,162
where you will take a position
that ranks amongst
242
00:09:14,205 --> 00:09:18,427
the highest of all worldwide
Vampiric Council positions.
243
00:09:18,470 --> 00:09:20,690
We do hope you'll accept
this offer promptly,
244
00:09:20,734 --> 00:09:22,736
because as you know,
vampires hate waiting.
245
00:09:22,779 --> 00:09:26,087
Even though we're immortal,
waiting is just still a thing.
246
00:09:26,130 --> 00:09:29,003
So, if you accept,
as fast as you can,
247
00:09:29,046 --> 00:09:32,528
tape your acceptance speech
on a VHS tape, and then
248
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:35,575
put it in an envelope
and send it by mail,
249
00:09:35,618 --> 00:09:37,794
and eventually
it'll get to us.
250
00:09:37,838 --> 00:09:39,579
This is your last ch...
251
00:09:39,622 --> 00:09:41,624
You're thinking of leaving, too?
252
00:09:41,668 --> 00:09:43,583
Of course I want to leave.
253
00:09:43,626 --> 00:09:45,846
It is such a great honor
and opportunity,
254
00:09:45,889 --> 00:09:48,065
and I would have a chance
to finally do something
255
00:09:48,109 --> 00:09:49,763
with my stupid eternal life.
256
00:09:49,806 --> 00:09:51,199
But it is not to be.
257
00:09:51,242 --> 00:09:52,417
- Good.
- What?!
258
00:09:52,461 --> 00:09:53,897
I mean, uh, why?
259
00:09:53,941 --> 00:09:56,204
Because Laszlo will never
go back to England.
260
00:09:56,247 --> 00:09:58,249
You heard him.
He has sworn it.
261
00:09:58,293 --> 00:10:00,121
But I cannot leave him
on his own.
262
00:10:00,164 --> 00:10:03,646
You know, I went on holiday
for two weeks in 1924,
263
00:10:03,690 --> 00:10:05,692
and when I got back,
he hadn't fed himself once.
264
00:10:05,735 --> 00:10:08,956
He spent all his time writing
poetry and wanking. [sighs]
265
00:10:08,999 --> 00:10:10,522
So, no, I can't go.
266
00:10:10,566 --> 00:10:12,873
So you're saying
if Laszlo doesn't go,
267
00:10:12,916 --> 00:10:15,789
then you certainly won't go?
268
00:10:15,832 --> 00:10:18,008
I literally just
said that to you.
269
00:10:20,532 --> 00:10:22,012
I know it seems like
I'm panicking,
270
00:10:22,056 --> 00:10:23,840
but I'm not panicking.
It's just that I'm afraid
271
00:10:23,884 --> 00:10:25,668
it's like a party; as soon as
one person leaves the party,
272
00:10:25,712 --> 00:10:27,496
another person decides it's okay
for them to leave the party,
273
00:10:27,539 --> 00:10:28,758
and before you know it,
the whole party's over.
274
00:10:28,802 --> 00:10:29,803
And you devoted 12 years
of your life
275
00:10:29,846 --> 00:10:31,108
to a certain type of party,
276
00:10:31,152 --> 00:10:31,892
and it's not gonna end
like this!
277
00:10:31,935 --> 00:10:33,894
[piano playing]
278
00:10:34,851 --> 00:10:36,723
-[shouts]
- Sorry.
279
00:10:36,766 --> 00:10:38,115
Hey...
280
00:10:38,159 --> 00:10:39,290
Sorry, I didn't mean
to startle you,
281
00:10:39,334 --> 00:10:40,814
I just had a question.
282
00:10:40,857 --> 00:10:42,729
If this has anything to do
with the fact that
283
00:10:42,772 --> 00:10:44,731
I won't let anybody touch
Colin Robinson's body,
284
00:10:44,774 --> 00:10:47,298
yet I myself have not been
down to the basement
285
00:10:47,342 --> 00:10:49,823
to pay my respects,
I can answer that.
286
00:10:49,866 --> 00:10:52,782
There's nothing down there.
Only a bag of skin.
287
00:10:52,826 --> 00:10:56,264
Plus I find that kind of
sentimental gesture
288
00:10:56,307 --> 00:10:57,613
fucking tawdry.
289
00:10:57,657 --> 00:11:01,486
No, no, that wasn't it.
I wasn't--
290
00:11:01,530 --> 00:11:04,011
No, it was just a random
question that I was--
291
00:11:04,054 --> 00:11:07,754
What do you think about England?
Is it a cool place to live?
292
00:11:07,797 --> 00:11:11,888
No, it is absolutely not
a cool place to live.
293
00:11:11,932 --> 00:11:13,760
- Why not?
- You want to know a story about
294
00:11:13,803 --> 00:11:17,067
- England and the English way?
- Yeah.
295
00:11:17,111 --> 00:11:20,680
-[Laszlo playing piano]
- I used to be a member
of a club.
296
00:11:20,723 --> 00:11:22,203
The Sherwood Club of London.
297
00:11:22,246 --> 00:11:24,596
My father was a member of a club
298
00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:26,947
called the Sherwood Club
of London.
299
00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:28,557
His father was a member
of a club
300
00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:31,429
called the Sherwood Club
of London.
301
00:11:31,473 --> 00:11:34,084
- You get where I'm going
with this?
- I think so.
302
00:11:34,128 --> 00:11:36,521
Anyway, treachery was afoot,
and I was expelled
303
00:11:36,565 --> 00:11:38,741
from the Sherwood Club
of London.
304
00:11:38,785 --> 00:11:41,875
The decision was unanimous.
305
00:11:41,918 --> 00:11:46,053
So I left the UK and came here,
306
00:11:46,096 --> 00:11:47,489
to the New World.
-[plays "America the Beautiful"]
307
00:11:47,532 --> 00:11:49,926
To the land of opportunity,
308
00:11:49,970 --> 00:11:52,799
where men--
and, I'm told, some women--
309
00:11:52,842 --> 00:11:55,453
can be kings
of their own castle.
310
00:11:55,497 --> 00:11:59,022
Where industrialists can rub
shoulders with chimney sweeps.
311
00:11:59,066 --> 00:12:01,285
My late friend Walt Whitman
said to me,
312
00:12:01,329 --> 00:12:04,071
-"You'd better put
that away, Laszlo..."
- So you're saying
313
00:12:04,114 --> 00:12:08,423
you would never, ever
go back to England.
314
00:12:08,466 --> 00:12:09,772
Yes, I am.
315
00:12:09,816 --> 00:12:11,469
-[playing piano]
- I would never, ever,
316
00:12:11,513 --> 00:12:14,342
ever, ever, ever
317
00:12:14,385 --> 00:12:15,735
go back to England.
318
00:12:15,778 --> 00:12:17,127
Well, there you have it.
319
00:12:17,171 --> 00:12:18,738
-[bell ringing]
- Oh.
320
00:12:18,781 --> 00:12:19,826
- There's the bell.
- DONAL: Five minutes, vamps.
321
00:12:19,869 --> 00:12:20,783
Time to get back
to the portrait.
322
00:12:20,827 --> 00:12:22,567
Tell him to fuck off.
323
00:12:22,611 --> 00:12:23,960
- I'm busy here.
- All right.
324
00:12:24,004 --> 00:12:26,223
Plus, that conversation
about my homeland
325
00:12:26,267 --> 00:12:27,964
has given me the pip.
326
00:12:28,008 --> 00:12:29,879
- Of course.
- I shall need ten minutes
to recover.
327
00:12:29,923 --> 00:12:31,968
[playing dramatic melody]
328
00:12:38,670 --> 00:12:40,455
SIRE:
Hel-lo.
329
00:12:40,498 --> 00:12:42,762
BARON:
Your English is
coming along nicely.
330
00:12:42,805 --> 00:12:44,981
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.
- SIRE: Hey...
331
00:12:45,025 --> 00:12:46,591
You see?
You have made progress.
332
00:12:46,635 --> 00:12:49,072
I have to remind myself
that vampires always make
333
00:12:49,116 --> 00:12:51,858
these grandiose plans,
but they never see them through.
334
00:12:51,901 --> 00:12:53,685
- Everything's gonna be A-ok...
- NANDOR: It's a map.
335
00:12:53,729 --> 00:12:55,209
It's a cape.
336
00:12:55,252 --> 00:12:57,080
- It's a mape!
-[laughs] I'll tell you what,
337
00:12:57,124 --> 00:13:00,170
- world travel looks good
on you, Nandor.
- Thank you.
338
00:13:00,214 --> 00:13:03,260
-[Guillermo clears throat]
- Oh, hi, Guillermo. Good news.
339
00:13:03,304 --> 00:13:06,437
She is an expert on
international vampire travel.
340
00:13:06,481 --> 00:13:09,919
It's true. I book all the trips
for the Vampiric Council.
341
00:13:09,963 --> 00:13:12,356
- Really the only fun part
of my job.
- Yes.
342
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:14,097
Anyway, we figured out
all the details
343
00:13:14,141 --> 00:13:15,838
- so you don't have to
worry about a thing.
- No.
344
00:13:15,882 --> 00:13:18,319
I mean, I don't think
you've thought of everything.
345
00:13:18,362 --> 00:13:19,886
- I mean, what about...
- The coffin? Super easy.
346
00:13:19,929 --> 00:13:21,409
All you need is international
bill of lading,
347
00:13:21,452 --> 00:13:22,627
- and that's kind of it.
- Really?
348
00:13:22,671 --> 00:13:24,064
- GUIDE: Here's a tip.
- Yes?
349
00:13:24,107 --> 00:13:26,936
Put your ancestral soil
in your Jansport
350
00:13:26,980 --> 00:13:30,070
so it's always on your back, and
you can just lie down anywhere.
351
00:13:30,113 --> 00:13:32,507
- What's a Jansport?
- It's a backpack.
- It's a backpack.
352
00:13:32,550 --> 00:13:35,379
- It's a very popular backpack.
- It's a children's backpack.
353
00:13:35,423 --> 00:13:37,251
That's smart.
That's very smart.
354
00:13:37,294 --> 00:13:38,861
- Anyone could have
thought of that.
- NANDOR: Let's celebrate.
355
00:13:38,905 --> 00:13:41,864
[laughing]
356
00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:43,170
Master, listen to me.
357
00:13:43,213 --> 00:13:44,911
Nadja and Laszlo
aren't leaving after all.
358
00:13:44,954 --> 00:13:46,869
So you don't have to worry
about being all by yourself.
359
00:13:46,913 --> 00:13:49,263
But I'm excited
for this trip now.
360
00:13:49,306 --> 00:13:52,396
It's gonna be a real eat,
prey, love kind journey for me.
361
00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:54,616
What do you mean?
You're gonna pray?
362
00:13:54,659 --> 00:13:56,705
Well, how am I gonna eat if
I don't prey on people, dummy?
363
00:13:56,748 --> 00:14:00,535
Now, you must travel
by railway and always at night.
364
00:14:00,578 --> 00:14:01,971
It's the only way
to stay safe.
365
00:14:02,015 --> 00:14:04,452
Plus, it's usually much cheaper.
366
00:14:04,495 --> 00:14:06,541
NANDOR:
Oh, I'm so excited.
367
00:14:06,584 --> 00:14:09,544
I cannot wait to see
all the wonders of the world.
368
00:14:09,587 --> 00:14:11,154
The Colossus of Rhodes.
369
00:14:11,198 --> 00:14:13,591
The Hanging Gardens
of Babylon.
370
00:14:13,635 --> 00:14:15,550
The beautiful unmarred face
of the Sphinx.
371
00:14:15,593 --> 00:14:17,900
Ah, cheers to that!
372
00:14:17,944 --> 00:14:19,293
-[bell ringing]
- We should finish our portrait.
- DONAL: Come on, everybody!
373
00:14:19,336 --> 00:14:20,294
- Shall we?
- Absolutely.
374
00:14:20,337 --> 00:14:21,469
And there are so many
375
00:14:21,512 --> 00:14:23,036
wonderful vampire hosts
376
00:14:23,079 --> 00:14:24,515
- I can hook you up with.
- Oh, please.
377
00:14:26,517 --> 00:14:27,997
DONAL: You know, you spend
your whole life wanting
378
00:14:28,041 --> 00:14:30,695
to shoot in New York;
Brooklyn in this case.
379
00:14:30,739 --> 00:14:32,262
We were at Steiner Studios.
380
00:14:32,306 --> 00:14:34,656
And then you find yourself
so far from your family,
381
00:14:34,699 --> 00:14:36,745
- it gets kind of lonely.
- I have to say something.
382
00:14:36,788 --> 00:14:39,226
- I'm sorry, Donal Logue.
- Quite all right.
383
00:14:39,269 --> 00:14:41,750
I know that we're all
a little bit shaken up
384
00:14:41,793 --> 00:14:43,795
- by the death of Colin Robinson.
- LASZLO: Speak for yourself.
385
00:14:43,839 --> 00:14:45,885
I'm as dry as a nun's doodah.
386
00:14:45,928 --> 00:14:47,756
GUILLERMO: Well, regardless,
we have to remember
387
00:14:47,799 --> 00:14:50,019
that there's the family
that you're born into,
388
00:14:50,063 --> 00:14:51,760
and then there's
your chosen family.
389
00:14:51,803 --> 00:14:53,501
That's what we are.
390
00:14:53,544 --> 00:14:56,112
We're a chosen family,
and it's a rare thing...
391
00:14:56,156 --> 00:14:57,505
I've been offered
a job in England,
392
00:14:57,548 --> 00:14:58,810
- and I want to move there!
- Whoo-hoo!
393
00:14:58,854 --> 00:15:00,290
- Over my dead body.
-[both gasp]
394
00:15:00,334 --> 00:15:02,031
Well, it seems everyone's
getting into it now.
395
00:15:02,075 --> 00:15:05,121
I have decided to leave
the island of Staten,
396
00:15:05,165 --> 00:15:09,473
travel the world and
rediscover my groove.
397
00:15:09,517 --> 00:15:11,301
- You are so selfish, Laszlo!
- DOLL NADJA: She's right.
398
00:15:11,345 --> 00:15:14,609
I made a vow never to return
to that cack house
399
00:15:14,652 --> 00:15:16,089
ever, ever again.
400
00:15:16,132 --> 00:15:18,308
- But why?
- You know why.
401
00:15:18,352 --> 00:15:21,790
- The British are a pack of
classist wankers.
- BARON: Here, here.
402
00:15:21,833 --> 00:15:24,271
And those fuckers
expelled me
403
00:15:24,314 --> 00:15:25,837
- from the Sherwood...
- From the Sherwood Club.
404
00:15:25,881 --> 00:15:27,752
Yes, I know. You have told me
so many times.
405
00:15:27,796 --> 00:15:29,363
Yeah, I've told you
so many times,
406
00:15:29,406 --> 00:15:31,713
but I've never told you why.
407
00:15:31,756 --> 00:15:33,454
And now I will.
408
00:15:33,497 --> 00:15:34,890
I always thought
it was because of
409
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:35,978
all the whores and the whoring.
410
00:15:36,022 --> 00:15:37,110
They don't give a fuck about
411
00:15:37,153 --> 00:15:38,676
whores and whoring, my darling.
412
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:40,765
They didn't even care
that I was a vampire.
413
00:15:40,809 --> 00:15:43,986
What they did object to,
however, was the fact
414
00:15:44,030 --> 00:15:46,249
that I fell in love
and eventually married
415
00:15:46,293 --> 00:15:50,601
the most beautiful,
simple girl.
416
00:15:50,645 --> 00:15:53,517
A girl with no surname,
417
00:15:53,561 --> 00:15:56,477
no social standing.
418
00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:59,262
They actually called her
a peasant girl.
419
00:15:59,306 --> 00:16:04,050
A girl from a tiny village
on a dirt island
420
00:16:04,093 --> 00:16:05,442
in the Mediterranean.
421
00:16:05,486 --> 00:16:08,968
That girl is the most
beautiful girl
422
00:16:09,011 --> 00:16:10,578
I have ever known.
423
00:16:10,621 --> 00:16:14,277
That girl's name--
yes, my darling--
424
00:16:14,321 --> 00:16:18,064
- Is my name?
- Is your name. Nadja.
425
00:16:18,107 --> 00:16:21,110
- Oh, snap.
- Snap, indeed, Donal.
426
00:16:21,154 --> 00:16:23,808
But, my dark baby,
427
00:16:23,852 --> 00:16:26,115
I will be returning to England
to assume a position
428
00:16:26,159 --> 00:16:28,596
on the Supreme Vampiric Council.
429
00:16:28,639 --> 00:16:30,119
Wait, what?
430
00:16:30,163 --> 00:16:32,556
We would be going back
as the tip of the tops
431
00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:33,862
of the upper classes.
432
00:16:33,905 --> 00:16:35,516
- Really?
- Yeah.
433
00:16:35,559 --> 00:16:38,649
Well, that changes pretty much
fucking everything.
434
00:16:38,693 --> 00:16:41,609
- Count me in.
-[Nadja shrieks, laughs]
- GUILLERMO: No, no, Laszlo,
435
00:16:41,652 --> 00:16:43,741
You made a lifelong vow
to never go back
436
00:16:43,785 --> 00:16:45,830
- to that shithole, remember?
- Didn't you hear what
she just said?
437
00:16:45,874 --> 00:16:47,658
We're gonna rule
the fucking place.
438
00:16:47,702 --> 00:16:49,138
Rule Britannia!
439
00:16:49,182 --> 00:16:52,750
[laughing, cheering]
440
00:16:52,794 --> 00:16:54,926
- Oh, okay, yeah. Oh, yeah.
- Now I'm ready.
441
00:16:54,970 --> 00:16:56,537
Now I am ready.
442
00:16:56,580 --> 00:16:58,713
- So romantic. Great!
- NADJA: Oh, yeah, get some.
443
00:16:58,756 --> 00:17:02,021
It is decided, we will all
move on from this place
444
00:17:02,064 --> 00:17:03,848
- and regroup elsewhere.
- Yes. Whoo-hoo!
445
00:17:03,892 --> 00:17:06,199
I think we should all
just take a second, breathe.
446
00:17:06,242 --> 00:17:08,331
You know,
just take a deep breath.
447
00:17:08,375 --> 00:17:10,072
And, I mean, the portrait's
not even done, so we could...
448
00:17:10,116 --> 00:17:11,682
- DONAL: No, it's almost done.
- What?
449
00:17:11,726 --> 00:17:13,032
And that's that.
450
00:17:13,075 --> 00:17:15,077
So, you're all free
to go about doing
451
00:17:15,121 --> 00:17:16,600
whatever the hell it was
you were doing before.
452
00:17:16,644 --> 00:17:18,907
Plus, I just got a text
from my agent
453
00:17:18,950 --> 00:17:21,562
that I have to do a self-tape
for a CBS pilot,
454
00:17:21,605 --> 00:17:22,867
so Logue out.
455
00:17:25,218 --> 00:17:28,047
[sighs]
Always a drama with
this little rascal.
456
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:30,353
I will fix.
457
00:17:30,397 --> 00:17:33,095
You know, usually when
someone is upset,
458
00:17:33,139 --> 00:17:34,705
they go to their own room,
459
00:17:34,749 --> 00:17:37,186
but I understand why
you would come to my room,
460
00:17:37,230 --> 00:17:39,101
as it is a far superior
room to yours.
461
00:17:39,145 --> 00:17:41,016
Which probably makes you feel
even more depressed.
462
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:43,888
- Is this your attempt
at cheering me up?
- Guillermo...
463
00:17:43,932 --> 00:17:47,544
You want us to go through this
one more time? Hmm?
464
00:17:47,588 --> 00:17:49,329
It is a very dangerous world
out there.
465
00:17:49,372 --> 00:17:52,114
You're joking, right? It's me
who's been protecting you!
466
00:17:52,158 --> 00:17:54,029
So what, you shooed away some
assassins; who gives a shit?
467
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,683
If it wasn't for me,
you would be dead by now.
468
00:17:55,726 --> 00:17:58,120
If not by assassins
then by my very own hands
469
00:17:58,164 --> 00:17:59,861
because I am,
and I will remind you,
470
00:17:59,904 --> 00:18:02,733
by birth and lineage,
a vampire killer.
471
00:18:02,777 --> 00:18:06,172
And the only reason
you're alive is because...
472
00:18:06,215 --> 00:18:07,956
I let you live.
473
00:18:11,438 --> 00:18:14,049
What did you just say?
474
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:18,053
I said, the only reason
you're alive
475
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:20,142
is because I
476
00:18:20,186 --> 00:18:24,581
let you live.
477
00:18:24,625 --> 00:18:27,106
[chuckles]
478
00:18:27,149 --> 00:18:29,934
My poor, dear thing.
479
00:18:29,978 --> 00:18:32,111
You forgot that
we hypnotized you
480
00:18:32,154 --> 00:18:34,896
to make it physically impossible
for you to harm me
481
00:18:34,939 --> 00:18:36,724
or any or your masters.
482
00:18:36,767 --> 00:18:38,247
Do you remember that? Hmm?
483
00:18:38,291 --> 00:18:41,598
No, because we used hypnosis.
[pained grunt]
484
00:18:41,642 --> 00:18:43,339
Hypnosis doesn't work on me.
485
00:18:43,383 --> 00:18:45,907
I just let you think it did
so you wouldn't feel weak.
486
00:18:45,950 --> 00:18:48,910
I never feel weak,
my furry little friend!
487
00:18:48,953 --> 00:18:50,259
[pained cry]
488
00:18:50,303 --> 00:18:51,391
[hisses]
489
00:18:53,306 --> 00:18:56,135
No, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
490
00:18:56,178 --> 00:18:57,397
Master, your-your sword
needs polishing.
491
00:18:57,440 --> 00:18:58,963
It does?
492
00:18:59,007 --> 00:19:01,270
-[grunts]
- Hey!
493
00:19:02,228 --> 00:19:05,187
- Plancha!
- Don't you dare!
494
00:19:05,231 --> 00:19:06,971
NANDOR:
Ow.
495
00:19:10,018 --> 00:19:12,412
Once a familiar,
always a familiar!
496
00:19:12,455 --> 00:19:14,631
[cries out]
497
00:19:19,201 --> 00:19:20,333
Uh-uh-uh.
498
00:19:22,378 --> 00:19:25,120
You almost hit John!
499
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:26,469
[cries out]
500
00:19:26,513 --> 00:19:29,255
[Nandor hissing]
501
00:19:29,298 --> 00:19:31,518
Yes, yes, finally.
502
00:19:31,561 --> 00:19:33,172
This is what
I've been waiting for.
503
00:19:33,215 --> 00:19:35,913
- What?
- Put the crucifix away,
Guillermo.
504
00:19:35,957 --> 00:19:37,611
You have passed the test.
505
00:19:39,308 --> 00:19:41,136
What test?
506
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:44,183
I have been worried that you
have been going a little soft.
507
00:19:44,226 --> 00:19:47,795
But tonight, you have
proved to me finally
508
00:19:47,838 --> 00:19:50,711
that you can take care
of yourself.
509
00:19:50,754 --> 00:19:52,713
And more importantly,
510
00:19:52,756 --> 00:19:55,672
you can take care of me.
511
00:19:55,716 --> 00:19:58,066
Guillermo de la Cruz,
512
00:19:58,109 --> 00:20:02,897
will you do me the honor...
513
00:20:02,940 --> 00:20:06,379
of accompanying me on my journey
around the world?
514
00:20:06,422 --> 00:20:09,469
[scoffs]
If you're scared of me
right now...
515
00:20:09,512 --> 00:20:11,732
If you accompany me
on this journey,
516
00:20:11,775 --> 00:20:15,736
when we arrive at the banks
of the River Tigris
517
00:20:15,779 --> 00:20:18,521
in my homeland of Al-Qolnadar,
518
00:20:18,565 --> 00:20:21,263
you will take a knee,
519
00:20:21,307 --> 00:20:23,918
and I will make you...
520
00:20:23,961 --> 00:20:26,225
[whispers]:
a vampire.
521
00:20:27,269 --> 00:20:29,576
- Really?
- My word
522
00:20:29,619 --> 00:20:31,447
is my bond.
523
00:20:32,796 --> 00:20:36,365
Then yes. Yes, of course
I'll go with you, Master.
524
00:20:37,366 --> 00:20:39,890
There will be plenty of time
for that kind of thing.
525
00:20:39,934 --> 00:20:42,328
- Right.
- Well...
526
00:20:42,371 --> 00:20:44,678
you should go,
start making arrangements.
527
00:20:44,721 --> 00:20:45,896
Yes. [laughs]
528
00:20:45,940 --> 00:20:48,769
Let our great journey commence!
529
00:20:49,944 --> 00:20:52,338
That little fucker can
really move when he wants to.
530
00:20:55,906 --> 00:20:57,995
Yeah, I'm gonna miss
this house, but...
531
00:20:58,039 --> 00:21:00,259
definitely won't miss
cleaning it. [chuckles]
532
00:21:00,302 --> 00:21:03,436
It'll be sad to say bye
to Nadja and Laszlo.
533
00:21:03,479 --> 00:21:05,264
They're off
on a big adventure now,
534
00:21:05,307 --> 00:21:07,048
so I'm really happy for them.
535
00:21:07,091 --> 00:21:09,311
Don't you even fucking dare!
536
00:21:09,355 --> 00:21:12,183
But the real thing
I'm looking forward to is...
537
00:21:12,227 --> 00:21:16,362
traveling the whole world
with my Nand-- master.
538
00:21:17,624 --> 00:21:19,147
Just the two of us.
539
00:21:20,540 --> 00:21:22,106
- Master.
- Yes?
540
00:21:22,150 --> 00:21:24,108
You need to hurry up.
I still have to help
541
00:21:24,152 --> 00:21:26,110
Nadja and Laszlo load
their coffin into the boat.
542
00:21:26,154 --> 00:21:28,765
And then you and I are catching
a midnight train.
543
00:21:28,809 --> 00:21:32,073
Why are you helping them when my
ancestral soil needs scooping?
544
00:21:32,116 --> 00:21:33,596
Because it's the last time
I can say goodbye to them.
545
00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:35,859
- I thought you'd understand.
- Oh, Guillermo.
546
00:21:35,903 --> 00:21:37,818
Fine, I will allow it.
547
00:21:37,861 --> 00:21:39,907
But don't think for one second
I'll be getting into the habit
548
00:21:39,950 --> 00:21:41,909
- of scooping my own soil.
- No, of course not.
549
00:21:41,952 --> 00:21:43,650
Oh. Can you take my luggage
to the train station?
550
00:21:43,693 --> 00:21:45,216
I don't want to carry it
to the dock
551
00:21:45,260 --> 00:21:46,479
and then have
to carry it back...
552
00:21:46,522 --> 00:21:48,698
Hey! What,
am I working for you now?
553
00:21:50,265 --> 00:21:51,353
I'm kidding, Guillermo.
554
00:21:51,397 --> 00:21:52,833
I will take your bag for you.
555
00:21:52,876 --> 00:21:54,661
Okay, gracias.
556
00:21:54,704 --> 00:21:57,446
- GUIDE [laughs]: Knock, knock,
Mr. Relentless.
- Hi.
557
00:21:57,490 --> 00:22:00,406
Hello.
I just wanted to say goodbye.
558
00:22:00,449 --> 00:22:03,713
- Thank you.
- I got you a little card.
559
00:22:03,757 --> 00:22:05,367
NANDOR:
"Bon voyage."
560
00:22:05,411 --> 00:22:07,151
Those are
the wraiths' signatures.
561
00:22:07,195 --> 00:22:09,197
- Oh.
- Some of them
don't know how to write,
562
00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:11,634
and others once did
but have long since forgotten,
563
00:22:11,678 --> 00:22:13,636
so I just dipped
their claws in ink
564
00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:15,159
and let them go at it.
565
00:22:15,203 --> 00:22:16,944
Smart.
566
00:22:16,987 --> 00:22:18,119
Thank you.
567
00:22:18,162 --> 00:22:20,121
Should we hug now, or...?
568
00:22:20,164 --> 00:22:22,558
I think it would be too much.
569
00:22:22,602 --> 00:22:24,865
- Okay.
- Nandor, I have come
to bid you adieu.
570
00:22:24,908 --> 00:22:27,128
You are a vampire
I have known for a while now,
571
00:22:27,171 --> 00:22:29,348
and now our time together
has ended.
572
00:22:29,391 --> 00:22:30,697
Cheers! Bye! Ha!
573
00:22:30,740 --> 00:22:32,916
GUILLERMO:
Nadja, Laszlo, vámonos!
574
00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:34,353
We have to go!
575
00:22:34,396 --> 00:22:35,658
Don't you dare shout at me,
Guillermo!
576
00:22:35,702 --> 00:22:37,181
I could suck out
all of your bodily fluids
577
00:22:37,225 --> 00:22:38,357
in less than two seconds.
578
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:39,488
[spits]
579
00:22:39,532 --> 00:22:41,316
- Not gonna miss that.
- Laszlo?
580
00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:42,665
Where are you?
It's time to get to...
581
00:22:42,709 --> 00:22:44,754
Oh.
582
00:22:44,798 --> 00:22:46,930
What were you doing
in the basement, my dear?
583
00:22:46,974 --> 00:22:49,672
Nothing. Just taking care
of some business.
584
00:22:49,716 --> 00:22:52,066
Oh, my sweet love.
585
00:22:52,109 --> 00:22:54,068
Were you finally saying goodbye
to the decaying corpse
586
00:22:54,111 --> 00:22:55,852
of your very dead friend
Colin Robinson?
587
00:22:55,896 --> 00:22:57,376
Something like that.
588
00:22:57,419 --> 00:22:58,812
Are you okay?
Do you need a bit more time?
589
00:22:58,855 --> 00:23:00,248
Not at all. I feel fine.
590
00:23:00,291 --> 00:23:01,684
Let's rock and roll.
591
00:23:01,728 --> 00:23:03,904
We're missing
three boxes of porn.
592
00:23:03,947 --> 00:23:06,689
♪
593
00:23:13,870 --> 00:23:15,916
-[horn blows]
- Whoo-hoo! Guillermo, my things.
594
00:23:15,959 --> 00:23:18,484
- Coming.
- Ah, smell the sea.
595
00:23:18,527 --> 00:23:20,486
I do love a journey.
596
00:23:20,529 --> 00:23:22,879
-[speaks Greek]
- And I went ahead and downloaded
597
00:23:22,923 --> 00:23:24,751
all the seasons
of RuPaul's Drag Race.
598
00:23:24,794 --> 00:23:26,535
Thank you very much, Guillermo.
599
00:23:26,579 --> 00:23:28,929
It has been... nice.
600
00:23:28,972 --> 00:23:30,496
Yeah.
601
00:23:30,539 --> 00:23:32,715
My darling, I will see you
602
00:23:32,759 --> 00:23:35,631
when we are kissing the ground
of your native land
603
00:23:35,675 --> 00:23:38,591
and make love on the bones
of those who scorned you.
604
00:23:38,634 --> 00:23:40,636
Safe passage, my darling.
605
00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:42,290
[laughs]
606
00:23:42,333 --> 00:23:45,685
- Are you in?
- Yes. Lock me up.
607
00:23:45,728 --> 00:23:48,165
Right. Now, come on,
don't fuck about, get that in.
608
00:23:48,209 --> 00:23:51,168
Why do you have water and food
if you can't even eat it?
609
00:23:51,212 --> 00:23:52,953
It's Oreos and Pedialyte.
610
00:23:52,996 --> 00:23:55,129
This stuff's worth its weight
in gold where I come from.
611
00:23:55,172 --> 00:23:57,044
I can barter that
and get anything I want.
612
00:23:57,087 --> 00:23:59,350
Makes sense. Well, this is it.
613
00:23:59,394 --> 00:24:01,396
- Indeed.
- All right.
614
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:02,658
- Yeah.
- Okay.
615
00:24:02,702 --> 00:24:03,833
Right.
616
00:24:03,877 --> 00:24:05,400
Safe fare.
617
00:24:05,444 --> 00:24:06,706
You, too.
618
00:24:06,749 --> 00:24:08,447
It's a lot of Oreos.
619
00:24:08,490 --> 00:24:09,796
Make sure
you look after my wife.
620
00:24:09,839 --> 00:24:12,581
What? Aah! No! No, no, no, no!
621
00:24:12,625 --> 00:24:14,583
-[clang, rapid thumping]
- No, no, no!
622
00:24:14,627 --> 00:24:16,672
What the fuck?! Master!
623
00:24:16,716 --> 00:24:17,934
Wait for me!
624
00:24:20,110 --> 00:24:23,287
-[horn blows]
- GUILLERMO: Help! Let me out!
Let me out, Laszlo!
625
00:24:23,331 --> 00:24:25,812
Laszlo, please don't!
Hello! Hello?
626
00:24:26,813 --> 00:24:28,771
Hey...
627
00:24:31,339 --> 00:24:33,472
CONDUCTOR:
All aboard!
628
00:24:34,821 --> 00:24:37,345
Guillermo...!
629
00:24:38,738 --> 00:24:40,174
You coming or staying?
630
00:24:43,133 --> 00:24:45,179
♪
631
00:24:53,143 --> 00:24:55,276
LASZLO:
My dearest Nadja,
632
00:24:55,319 --> 00:24:58,584
you must be deucedly cross
with me for my subterfuge.
633
00:24:58,627 --> 00:25:01,848
But you have Gizmo at your side,
634
00:25:01,891 --> 00:25:04,154
if he has not expired
or drowned in his own filth
635
00:25:04,198 --> 00:25:06,417
during
the transatlantic crossing.
636
00:25:06,461 --> 00:25:09,203
I did cut a small hole
in the bottom of the coffin,
637
00:25:09,246 --> 00:25:12,336
so if he is
either accurate or persistent,
638
00:25:12,380 --> 00:25:14,556
he should be fine.
639
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:16,253
But I digress.
640
00:25:16,297 --> 00:25:17,733
[train whistle blows]
641
00:25:17,777 --> 00:25:20,693
Guillermo is
a damn good bodyguard.
642
00:25:20,736 --> 00:25:22,259
He will keep you safe.
643
00:25:22,303 --> 00:25:23,609
[whistle blows]
644
00:25:23,652 --> 00:25:25,654
But the truth is, my darling,
645
00:25:25,698 --> 00:25:28,527
you don't need anyone
to keep you safe.
646
00:25:28,570 --> 00:25:30,529
Okay, so,
this is my trinkets case.
647
00:25:30,572 --> 00:25:33,053
Over these past
200 or 300 years,
648
00:25:33,096 --> 00:25:36,230
- Hurry up!
- you have grown into a strong,
649
00:25:36,273 --> 00:25:39,059
bold, independent woman
of the world.
650
00:25:39,102 --> 00:25:42,497
It is a strange and dangerous
netherworld we inhabit,
651
00:25:42,541 --> 00:25:45,631
and I once thought you
too weak and defenseless
652
00:25:45,674 --> 00:25:47,633
to navigate it on your own,
653
00:25:47,676 --> 00:25:50,505
and that you needed me about
at all times
654
00:25:50,549 --> 00:25:52,246
to take care of you.
655
00:25:52,289 --> 00:25:55,945
But that is no longer true,
were it ever so.
656
00:25:55,989 --> 00:25:57,251
Um...
657
00:25:57,294 --> 00:26:00,341
safe passage, Colin Robinson.
658
00:26:01,516 --> 00:26:03,039
Not much more to say.
659
00:26:03,083 --> 00:26:05,302
[sniffs]
What's that...
660
00:26:06,303 --> 00:26:07,522
Oh, my...
661
00:26:07,566 --> 00:26:09,568
What the fuck?
662
00:26:10,830 --> 00:26:13,136
- What?
-[clattering in distance]
663
00:26:13,180 --> 00:26:15,791
- Shit.
- There are, it seems,
664
00:26:15,835 --> 00:26:17,619
others in our world...
665
00:26:17,663 --> 00:26:19,099
What's this shit?
666
00:26:19,142 --> 00:26:21,623
...whose future
is far less certain,
667
00:26:21,667 --> 00:26:23,538
whose existence
668
00:26:23,582 --> 00:26:27,673
is even more terrifying
and mysterious than our own...
669
00:26:28,891 --> 00:26:33,069
...who actually are weak
and defenseless,
670
00:26:33,113 --> 00:26:37,639
-[baby bawling]
- who need protection and care.
671
00:26:37,683 --> 00:26:39,510
LASZLO:
Hello?
672
00:26:43,514 --> 00:26:44,690
[baby coos]
673
00:26:44,733 --> 00:26:46,039
Shit.
674
00:26:46,082 --> 00:26:50,347
♪ Our love is young♪
675
00:26:50,391 --> 00:26:54,003
♪ It shines so bright♪
676
00:26:54,047 --> 00:26:57,050
♪ Don't ever let♪
677
00:26:57,093 --> 00:26:58,878
♪ It vanish♪
678
00:26:58,921 --> 00:27:01,750
♪ In the night♪
679
00:27:01,794 --> 00:27:04,274
-♪ Don't wake too soon♪
-[mumbling]
680
00:27:04,318 --> 00:27:06,929
And a little to the right.
681
00:27:06,973 --> 00:27:08,409
Almost.
682
00:27:08,452 --> 00:27:10,237
A little more to the right.
683
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:12,369
Just squaring it up.
684
00:27:12,413 --> 00:27:14,067
And a little to...
685
00:27:14,110 --> 00:27:16,896
[high-pitched screaming]
686
00:27:16,939 --> 00:27:19,942
♪ Our love is young♪
687
00:27:19,986 --> 00:27:21,988
♪ Like a bird♪
688
00:27:22,031 --> 00:27:24,207
♪ It hovers near us♪
689
00:27:24,251 --> 00:27:25,687
♪ Tread with care♪
690
00:27:25,731 --> 00:27:27,950
♪ Lest it should hear us♪
691
00:27:27,994 --> 00:27:29,778
♪ Seize it now♪
692
00:27:29,822 --> 00:27:32,651
♪ Before it flies away♪
693
00:27:33,913 --> 00:27:36,785
♪ Don't let it go♪
694
00:27:37,786 --> 00:27:41,572
♪ Our love is young♪
695
00:27:41,616 --> 00:27:46,447
♪ So very young.♪
696
00:27:46,490 --> 00:27:47,491
[song ends]
697
00:27:55,325 --> 00:27:57,414
COLIN ROBINSON:
Everything you want to know
about vampires,
698
00:27:57,458 --> 00:27:58,589
it's right here.[HISSING]
699
00:28:00,113 --> 00:28:01,897
- I'm in love.
- LASZLO: She's half-chicken
700
00:28:01,941 --> 00:28:03,072
[CLUCKING]
Nobody's perfect
701
00:28:04,204 --> 00:28:05,640
LASZLO: Bat!
702
00:28:05,684 --> 00:28:06,859
MAN: Cash or card?
703
00:28:06,902 --> 00:28:09,078
I will not be paying
- for anything.
- Got it.
704
00:28:10,340 --> 00:28:13,300
NANDOR: They have wellness
vampires now.
705
00:28:13,343 --> 00:28:14,823
[80's MUSIC PLAYING]
Stretch those hammies!
706
00:28:14,867 --> 00:28:16,607
Feel the burn!
707
00:28:17,391 --> 00:28:19,045
She has changed my life.
708
00:28:19,088 --> 00:28:20,786
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
709
00:28:26,052 --> 00:28:27,096
[EERIE MUSIC PLAYING]
710
00:28:27,140 --> 00:28:28,184
[WOMAN SCREAMS]
711
00:28:28,228 --> 00:28:29,272
WOMAN: We're not safe here.
712
00:28:31,187 --> 00:28:32,362
We don't really
live in this world.
713
00:28:33,015 --> 00:28:34,016
We feed off of it.
714
00:28:35,017 --> 00:28:36,149
MAN: Aliens.
715
00:28:36,192 --> 00:28:37,541
Mother of God!
716
00:28:38,717 --> 00:28:40,327
How have you
not gone insane?
717
00:28:41,632 --> 00:28:43,678
Once you sell your soul,
it's gone.
718
00:28:44,157 --> 00:28:45,332
MAN: Boom!
719
00:28:45,375 --> 00:28:46,550
It's breaking
all the rules.
720
00:28:46,594 --> 00:28:48,030
[GASPS]
721
00:28:48,074 --> 00:28:49,118
And I'm here for that.
722
00:28:49,162 --> 00:28:50,293
[GLASS BREAKING]
723
00:28:50,337 --> 00:28:51,730
[EERIE MUSIC PLAYING]
724
00:28:56,778 --> 00:28:58,519
WOMAN 1: It happened
pretty fast.
725
00:28:58,562 --> 00:29:00,260
WOMAN 2: The world
has changed.
726
00:29:00,303 --> 00:29:01,827
WOMAN 3:
His survivor's classified.
727
00:29:01,870 --> 00:29:03,393
Nobody can know
about him.
728
00:29:05,308 --> 00:29:06,745
People are going
to have to pick sides.
729
00:29:08,224 --> 00:29:09,835
I think it's going
to get worse
730
00:29:09,878 --> 00:29:10,966
before it gets better.
731
00:29:11,967 --> 00:29:12,968
Run!
732
00:29:15,188 --> 00:29:16,493
I imagine
that you attract
733
00:29:16,537 --> 00:29:17,799
quite a bit
of attention.
734
00:29:17,843 --> 00:29:19,279
You know, more than before.
That's for sure.
735
00:29:25,546 --> 00:29:26,765
MAN: Hillary.
736
00:29:26,808 --> 00:29:27,896
Hillary, wake up.
737
00:29:30,681 --> 00:29:31,682
I'm sorry.
738
00:29:32,248 --> 00:29:33,249
For what?