1
00:00:01,871 --> 00:00:03,133
You're probably
wondering what we're doing.
2
00:00:03,177 --> 00:00:05,092
Short answer,
saving the earth.
3
00:00:05,135 --> 00:00:06,745
Again.
4
00:00:06,789 --> 00:00:08,008
I'm not leaving without you.
5
00:00:08,051 --> 00:00:10,271
I need something soft
to land on.
6
00:00:22,326 --> 00:00:25,808
Previously on
this filmed documentary program,
7
00:00:25,851 --> 00:00:28,941
or whatever the fuck
this is supposed to be.
8
00:00:28,985 --> 00:00:32,336
Behind this door is
the living quarters of The Sire.
9
00:00:32,380 --> 00:00:33,859
The actual Sire?
10
00:00:33,903 --> 00:00:36,471
Do not ever open this door.
11
00:00:36,514 --> 00:00:38,908
- Peekaboo.
12
00:00:38,951 --> 00:00:40,518
As I was saying,
13
00:00:40,562 --> 00:00:42,868
- do not ever...
- Open the door.
14
00:00:42,912 --> 00:00:44,435
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Got it.
15
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:50,050
As leader of...
16
00:00:50,093 --> 00:00:52,052
Coleader.
17
00:00:52,095 --> 00:00:54,054
...of the Vampiric Council,
it is one of my...
18
00:00:54,097 --> 00:00:55,098
Our.
19
00:00:56,404 --> 00:00:59,146
...our duties
to be looking after The Sire.
20
00:00:59,189 --> 00:01:02,323
The Sire is the original vampire
21
00:01:02,366 --> 00:01:04,934
from which all other vampires
are descended.
22
00:01:04,977 --> 00:01:06,675
Over the centuries,
23
00:01:06,718 --> 00:01:11,158
it has devolved into a horrific
and fearsome creature.
24
00:01:11,201 --> 00:01:15,205
He is one very angry,
very crispy piece of crust.
25
00:01:15,249 --> 00:01:18,730
But its continued health
is of extreme importance
26
00:01:18,774 --> 00:01:21,516
for the fate
of all vampire-kind.
27
00:01:21,559 --> 00:01:24,910
So, uh, why are we
talking to you about The Sire?
28
00:01:24,954 --> 00:01:27,609
- Um...
29
00:01:30,264 --> 00:01:33,571
It is a fucking mess down here.
30
00:01:33,615 --> 00:01:35,747
No one is respecting
my organizational system.
31
00:01:35,791 --> 00:01:37,749
What are you
pissing on about?
32
00:01:37,793 --> 00:01:39,316
Look at this.
33
00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:41,449
What is the point
of having a glowing orb section
34
00:01:41,492 --> 00:01:44,843
if you're gonna put the glowing
orb in the monkey paw section?
35
00:01:44,887 --> 00:01:46,845
I've just got to find this
stupid magic flute for Laszlo.
36
00:01:46,889 --> 00:01:48,847
He wants to use it
to seduce some mail woman,
37
00:01:48,891 --> 00:01:50,806
and to be honest,
I'm here for it.
38
00:01:50,849 --> 00:01:52,112
Oh, shit.
39
00:01:52,155 --> 00:01:53,809
- What is it?
- Shit, shit, shit,
40
00:01:53,852 --> 00:01:55,289
The Sire!
- shit!
41
00:01:55,332 --> 00:01:56,638
- He is... Oh...
42
00:01:56,681 --> 00:01:58,379
- Open-open the door, Nandor.
- Yes.
43
00:01:58,422 --> 00:02:00,120
Got it.
44
00:02:01,382 --> 00:02:03,471
- Oh, for fuck's sake.
- Oh, damn.
45
00:02:03,514 --> 00:02:04,733
- Oh.
46
00:02:04,776 --> 00:02:06,300
Oh, The Sire.
47
00:02:06,343 --> 00:02:07,605
Sire.
48
00:02:07,649 --> 00:02:08,998
Oh, no.
49
00:02:09,041 --> 00:02:10,608
It seems that The Sire
was so hungry
50
00:02:10,652 --> 00:02:13,002
that it took the
sharpened bones of its victims
51
00:02:13,045 --> 00:02:14,612
and tunneled a hole in the wall.
52
00:02:14,656 --> 00:02:16,136
I can't believe it.
53
00:02:16,179 --> 00:02:18,094
Little rascal.
54
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,791
I can't believe you
55
00:02:19,835 --> 00:02:21,880
managed to mess this up
so badly, Nandor.
56
00:02:21,924 --> 00:02:23,491
It was your job
to feed The Sire.
57
00:02:23,534 --> 00:02:25,188
- Me?
- Yes, you.
58
00:02:25,232 --> 00:02:26,276
What?
59
00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:27,451
So, yeah,
60
00:02:27,495 --> 00:02:29,410
turns out I never actually
61
00:02:29,453 --> 00:02:31,151
told Nandor to feed The Sire.
62
00:02:32,761 --> 00:02:34,066
How is this my fault?
63
00:02:34,110 --> 00:02:36,068
Because I said to you that
64
00:02:36,112 --> 00:02:38,070
you're the one to be responsible
for feeding The Sire.
65
00:02:40,203 --> 00:02:43,163
What have I done?
66
00:02:43,206 --> 00:02:44,381
I was meaning to.
67
00:02:44,425 --> 00:02:45,991
I even wrote it
on a sticky note.
68
00:02:46,035 --> 00:02:48,211
"Ask Nandor Feed Sire."
69
00:02:48,255 --> 00:02:51,214
But I never actually got around
to giving him the message.
70
00:02:52,868 --> 00:02:56,393
So, you know, I think
it's very difficult to say
71
00:02:56,437 --> 00:02:58,090
who's at fault, really.
72
00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:05,750
♪ Don't sing if you want
to live long♪
73
00:03:05,794 --> 00:03:08,231
♪ They have no use
for your song♪
74
00:03:08,275 --> 00:03:10,929
♪ You're dead, you're dead,
you're dead♪
75
00:03:10,973 --> 00:03:13,845
♪ You're dead
and out of this world♪
76
00:03:15,369 --> 00:03:18,415
♪ Now your hope and compassion
is gone♪
77
00:03:18,459 --> 00:03:21,201
♪ You sold out your dream
to the world♪
78
00:03:21,244 --> 00:03:23,507
♪ Stay dead, stay dead,
stay dead♪
79
00:03:23,551 --> 00:03:26,206
♪ You're dead
and out of this world.♪
80
00:03:35,737 --> 00:03:37,782
Why are you just
fucking sitting there?!
81
00:03:37,826 --> 00:03:39,828
- We're all gonna fucking die!
All die.
82
00:03:39,871 --> 00:03:41,482
Oh, my love.
Please don't tell me
83
00:03:41,525 --> 00:03:43,614
you believe in this bullshit?
- Of course I do.
84
00:03:43,658 --> 00:03:46,313
If the vampire that
turns you dies, then you die.
85
00:03:46,356 --> 00:03:49,664
So, if the original vampire
dies, you all die?
86
00:03:49,707 --> 00:03:51,927
All die.
No,
it's a fucking urban myth.
87
00:03:51,970 --> 00:03:54,059
Like ghosts or large penises.
88
00:03:54,103 --> 00:03:55,800
You don't want to help?
Fine.
89
00:03:55,844 --> 00:03:57,193
I will fix this.
90
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,761
Since this is all
my big dumb stupid fault.
91
00:03:59,804 --> 00:04:01,632
No, Master.
Yes.
92
00:04:01,676 --> 00:04:04,156
- Control that hellhound!
Nandor, wait!
93
00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:06,463
- Nandor...
- People will believe anything
these days.
94
00:04:06,507 --> 00:04:08,030
Absolutely anything.
95
00:04:08,073 --> 00:04:10,250
I tell you,
if what they're saying is true,
96
00:04:10,293 --> 00:04:13,078
both my wife and I
would be dead by now.
97
00:04:13,122 --> 00:04:15,733
- Yeah.
- The Baron obviously
turned my wife into a vampire
98
00:04:15,777 --> 00:04:17,953
and she turned me
into a vampire.
99
00:04:17,996 --> 00:04:20,738
You two should be dead because
The Baron is definitely dead.
100
00:04:20,782 --> 00:04:22,305
- Absolutely.
101
00:04:22,349 --> 00:04:23,959
The Baron is definitely dead.
102
00:04:24,002 --> 00:04:26,962
Yeah, burnt to a crisp
and buried in the backyard.
103
00:04:27,005 --> 00:04:28,920
In the back garden, as we speak.
104
00:04:29,921 --> 00:04:31,619
- Fuck. Get a shovel.
- Yeah.
105
00:04:31,662 --> 00:04:33,011
Gizmo!
106
00:04:33,055 --> 00:04:34,491
I am not accustomed
107
00:04:34,535 --> 00:04:37,364
to taking responsibility
for my missteps.
108
00:04:37,407 --> 00:04:40,149
When I was
a military general,
109
00:04:40,192 --> 00:04:42,369
if there was a problem
in one of my various wars,
110
00:04:42,412 --> 00:04:45,197
I would simply
blame another nation
111
00:04:45,241 --> 00:04:47,025
and then we would
go to war with them.
112
00:04:47,069 --> 00:04:49,550
And so on, etcetera.
We've all been there.
113
00:04:49,593 --> 00:04:52,509
But, as leader
of the Vampiric Council...
114
00:04:52,553 --> 00:04:54,859
Coleader!
115
00:04:54,903 --> 00:04:58,733
I must swallow my pride
and do what is right.
116
00:04:58,776 --> 00:05:02,040
It says here that the correct
name for The Sire
117
00:05:02,084 --> 00:05:05,957
is, in fact, uh,
"G-G-Gajillarum"?
118
00:05:06,001 --> 00:05:09,483
I think you swallow the "G,"
so it's like "Yarilariur."
119
00:05:09,526 --> 00:05:10,875
It doesn't seem right.
120
00:05:10,919 --> 00:05:12,660
- Are you sure?
No.
121
00:05:12,703 --> 00:05:14,575
I need to figure this out before
my press conference begins.
122
00:05:14,618 --> 00:05:16,577
No, what? We don't need
to do a press conference,
123
00:05:16,620 --> 00:05:18,056
we just need
to capture the bloody thing.
124
00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:20,755
No! I need to let
the vampire community know
125
00:05:20,798 --> 00:05:22,626
what is happening
and put their mind at ease.
126
00:05:22,670 --> 00:05:25,368
'Cause it is I who have failed
to perform a very simple job.
127
00:05:25,412 --> 00:05:26,804
I don't think we need to-- Oh.
128
00:05:26,848 --> 00:05:29,590
Over the power of the ether,
129
00:05:29,633 --> 00:05:31,809
I hereby summon
130
00:05:31,853 --> 00:05:34,725
the vampire society's
most respected journalists,
131
00:05:34,769 --> 00:05:36,945
news anchors,
bloggers, vloggers
132
00:05:36,988 --> 00:05:41,515
and high school yearbook
editors.
133
00:05:41,558 --> 00:05:44,126
- Oh, it worked.
134
00:05:44,169 --> 00:05:45,519
Thank you all for coming.
135
00:05:45,562 --> 00:05:47,390
Is this thing on?
136
00:05:47,434 --> 00:05:49,261
- Are you fucking kidding me?
- Uh...
137
00:05:49,305 --> 00:05:51,612
But now is not the time
for jokes.
138
00:05:51,655 --> 00:05:53,396
This evening,
139
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:56,356
at approximately 9:53
in the p.m. Staten Island time,
140
00:05:56,399 --> 00:05:59,750
the creature known as The Sire,
141
00:05:59,794 --> 00:06:03,363
- aka Girlyjim...
- Nailed it.
142
00:06:03,406 --> 00:06:05,626
...escaped
Vampiric Council watch
143
00:06:05,669 --> 00:06:07,845
and is currently at large
144
00:06:07,889 --> 00:06:10,761
- in the tristate area,
exact location unknown.
145
00:06:10,805 --> 00:06:13,634
I, Nandor The Relentless,
146
00:06:13,677 --> 00:06:17,638
co-supreme leader
of the Vampiric Council,
147
00:06:17,681 --> 00:06:21,381
- do hereby accept full
responsibility for this misstep.
148
00:06:21,424 --> 00:06:22,730
- Time for questions.
I have a question!
- Coleader Nandor.
149
00:06:22,773 --> 00:06:24,253
- Yes?
- Coleader Nandor, hi.
150
00:06:24,296 --> 00:06:25,689
Uh, Lars Murderbone,
Orlando Sentinel.
151
00:06:25,733 --> 00:06:27,387
Is there currently
any kind of plan in place
152
00:06:27,430 --> 00:06:28,997
to capture The Sire?
153
00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:31,478
We have a plan and it is
going absolutely perfectly.
154
00:06:31,521 --> 00:06:33,175
- So, you can go.
- Yes.
155
00:06:33,218 --> 00:06:35,656
And you know, there's a lot
of speculation saying,
156
00:06:35,699 --> 00:06:38,485
"Oh, this is gonna be the end
of vampires as we know it."
157
00:06:38,528 --> 00:06:40,704
- What?!
- No one asked.
158
00:06:40,748 --> 00:06:43,620
Even if that did happen,
we've had a wonderful run,
159
00:06:43,664 --> 00:06:45,405
haven't we?
We've had a great time.
160
00:06:45,448 --> 00:06:47,581
- You've doomed us all!
- Oh, no!
161
00:06:47,624 --> 00:06:50,192
Okay, bye.
162
00:06:51,759 --> 00:06:55,980
You have just made things
significantly worse.
163
00:06:57,852 --> 00:07:00,158
- No. No.
164
00:07:01,464 --> 00:07:05,033
- Dig there.
That's literally
what I'm doing right now.
165
00:07:05,076 --> 00:07:06,643
Well, dig deeper.
166
00:07:06,687 --> 00:07:08,428
I can't remember
where we buried the bastard.
167
00:07:08,471 --> 00:07:09,646
Might this be him?
168
00:07:09,690 --> 00:07:10,821
Uh, that might not.
169
00:07:10,865 --> 00:07:13,607
That is the census taker, 1990.
170
00:07:13,650 --> 00:07:15,435
- What about this chap?
Nope.
171
00:07:15,478 --> 00:07:17,698
Oh, for fuck's sake.
172
00:07:17,741 --> 00:07:20,657
Now that rock
is beginning to ring a bell.
173
00:07:20,701 --> 00:07:21,963
That rock there.
174
00:07:22,006 --> 00:07:23,355
That does ring a bell,
that rock.
175
00:07:23,399 --> 00:07:26,097
Baron? Are you there?
176
00:07:26,141 --> 00:07:27,838
Yes.
177
00:07:27,882 --> 00:07:29,449
Oh, my God.
Shit.
178
00:07:29,492 --> 00:07:30,754
Did you hear that?
Baron?
179
00:07:30,798 --> 00:07:32,277
Yes?
It's over there.
180
00:07:32,321 --> 00:07:34,366
- Baron?
- Baron?
I am here.
181
00:07:34,410 --> 00:07:35,542
Here, here.
Start digging, man.
Here. Come on.
182
00:07:35,585 --> 00:07:37,282
- Shit.
183
00:07:37,326 --> 00:07:40,285
Big pull now.
Almost there.
184
00:07:42,505 --> 00:07:46,335
- Well, fancy seeing you here,
Baron.
185
00:07:46,378 --> 00:07:49,469
- We thought you were dead.
186
00:07:49,512 --> 00:07:51,427
Well, no, I am not.
187
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,385
You see,
when you buried me,
188
00:07:53,429 --> 00:07:57,520
I was pretty much dead,
but not completely dead.
189
00:07:59,174 --> 00:08:01,524
Give The Baron his last sip.
190
00:08:01,568 --> 00:08:02,743
Of course.
191
00:08:02,786 --> 00:08:04,179
Shall we just get him in?
192
00:08:04,222 --> 00:08:05,963
Yeah.
Goodbye, Baron.
193
00:08:06,007 --> 00:08:08,400
I was able to slowly
regain my strength,
194
00:08:08,444 --> 00:08:11,229
subsisting on the blood-soaked dirt
195
00:08:11,273 --> 00:08:15,669
of the many, many humans
you have buried out here.
196
00:08:15,712 --> 00:08:17,192
That was a bit of luck.
197
00:08:17,235 --> 00:08:19,586
Now, I did try to dig my way
to the surface
198
00:08:19,629 --> 00:08:21,588
using just my mouth
199
00:08:21,631 --> 00:08:25,679
and this one arm
that is fused to my chest.
200
00:08:25,722 --> 00:08:29,247
I guess I was digging sideways
instead of up.
201
00:08:31,206 --> 00:08:35,558
Yeah, that'll happen
when your arm is, uh, yeah.
202
00:08:35,602 --> 00:08:38,779
Soon, I recovered enough
to cry out
203
00:08:38,822 --> 00:08:41,042
and beg you to dig me up.
204
00:08:41,085 --> 00:08:43,784
Uh, "Help! Help!" I cried.
205
00:08:43,827 --> 00:08:45,873
- Oh, okay. That was you, then.
Right.
206
00:08:45,916 --> 00:08:47,570
Yeah, I heard the screams,
207
00:08:47,614 --> 00:08:49,833
but I just thought it was
someone in the neighborhood
208
00:08:49,877 --> 00:08:52,575
in grave danger.
I was like, "Not my problem."
209
00:08:52,619 --> 00:08:54,359
That is all in the past,
210
00:08:54,403 --> 00:08:59,321
because I am now back,
and I have never felt better.
211
00:08:59,364 --> 00:09:02,019
If I,
if I could just... get...
Well, you look good.
212
00:09:02,063 --> 00:09:05,501
Oh, oh. Almost.
Ah. Yes, okay.
213
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,329
There we go.
Okay.
214
00:09:07,372 --> 00:09:09,853
- Who wants to get smacked first?
Oh.
215
00:09:09,897 --> 00:09:11,855
Yeah, it was
a little nerve-racking
216
00:09:11,899 --> 00:09:14,554
seeing The Baron again,
considering our-our history.
217
00:09:19,167 --> 00:09:20,864
But he doesn't seem
to remember anything.
218
00:09:20,908 --> 00:09:23,911
He was on a lot of
drug blood that night, so...
219
00:09:23,954 --> 00:09:26,957
What he don't
know won't hurt him, or me.
220
00:09:27,001 --> 00:09:28,829
So nice to be back in the arms
221
00:09:28,872 --> 00:09:33,529
- of a big, strong boy. Mwah.
222
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,183
But this means that
that Sire theory--
223
00:09:35,226 --> 00:09:36,488
"If he dies they all die"--
224
00:09:36,532 --> 00:09:38,229
that might be real.
225
00:09:38,273 --> 00:09:39,927
Sorry, Baron. Urgent matter.
226
00:09:39,970 --> 00:09:42,059
We must attend to it. Bye!
227
00:09:42,103 --> 00:09:44,105
Feed him. A simple task.
228
00:09:44,148 --> 00:09:45,497
I accept full responsibility.
229
00:09:45,541 --> 00:09:47,456
I don't see how that helps us.
230
00:09:47,499 --> 00:09:50,328
Oh, good evening,
my sweet companions.
231
00:09:50,372 --> 00:09:52,635
The Baron. You're alive... ish.
232
00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:55,638
- Well, catch me up.
Have you taken over America?
Uh...
233
00:09:55,682 --> 00:09:58,815
Well, we've, um, taken over
the local Vampiric Council.
234
00:09:58,859 --> 00:09:59,816
- Huzzah!
235
00:09:59,860 --> 00:10:01,644
Yes, huzzah!
236
00:10:01,688 --> 00:10:03,646
But it's not going so great.
237
00:10:03,690 --> 00:10:05,300
Understatement of the year.
238
00:10:05,343 --> 00:10:06,823
What she said.
239
00:10:06,867 --> 00:10:08,695
Yes, you've picked
a bit of a shitty time
240
00:10:08,738 --> 00:10:10,827
- to come back from the dead.
I see.
241
00:10:10,871 --> 00:10:13,047
Uh, speaking of which,
could one of you be a dear
242
00:10:13,090 --> 00:10:14,962
and push my eye back in?
243
00:10:15,005 --> 00:10:17,399
- Guillermo?
- Guillermo.
244
00:10:17,442 --> 00:10:20,576
- Also, I think one of my ears
fell off in the foyer,
245
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,709
- if we could...
- Which one?
- Does it matter?
246
00:10:22,752 --> 00:10:25,668
Which ear was it again?
The right one.
247
00:10:25,712 --> 00:10:27,409
We need to find The Sire!
248
00:10:27,452 --> 00:10:28,802
I believe his theory.
I always have.
249
00:10:28,845 --> 00:10:30,630
Oh. Shit. They're right,
what are we doing?
250
00:10:30,673 --> 00:10:32,675
- Nobody panic. Everybody...
I'm not panicking!
251
00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:33,894
We're all gonna die!
252
00:10:33,937 --> 00:10:35,417
My sword.
253
00:10:35,460 --> 00:10:36,287
Come on,
there's no time to waste!
254
00:10:36,331 --> 00:10:37,332
Help!
255
00:10:42,729 --> 00:10:45,557
Sorry, there's not chalkboard in
here, so I had to use my mouth.
256
00:10:45,601 --> 00:10:48,256
So, you want to catch a vampire,
huh?
257
00:10:48,299 --> 00:10:50,693
Well, it ain't gonna be easy.
258
00:10:50,737 --> 00:10:53,957
It's not like catching rats
or elderly joggers.
259
00:10:54,001 --> 00:10:56,917
Joggers.
Yeah, that's Jaws, 1975.
260
00:10:56,960 --> 00:11:00,007
The shark kept malfunctioning,
and so Spielberg...
261
00:11:00,050 --> 00:11:01,573
Shut up!
262
00:11:01,617 --> 00:11:03,227
You promoted me
to be a bodyguard.
263
00:11:03,271 --> 00:11:06,970
I believe that
I should be in charge
264
00:11:07,014 --> 00:11:08,580
of catching The Sire.
265
00:11:10,844 --> 00:11:13,585
- All right.
- Yeah. Fuck it.
- What?
266
00:11:13,629 --> 00:11:15,283
- Okay, fine.
Yeah, sure, whatever.
Don't give a shit.
267
00:11:15,326 --> 00:11:17,285
Now wait just a moment.
268
00:11:17,328 --> 00:11:20,680
You are going to place
the fate of all vampire-kind
269
00:11:20,723 --> 00:11:23,857
into the hands of your familiar?
270
00:11:23,900 --> 00:11:26,903
Well, he's actually
quite a skilled vampire hunter.
271
00:11:26,947 --> 00:11:31,647
- I mean, he killed you.
272
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:36,130
-...gene, he killed Eugene.
A very powerful vampire.
- Oh.
273
00:11:36,173 --> 00:11:38,654
Maybe later we'll talk
about Eugene some more,
274
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:39,655
but, Guide Lady,
I need you to check in
275
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,048
with your intel sources.
276
00:11:41,091 --> 00:11:42,571
How do you know
I have intel sources?
277
00:11:42,614 --> 00:11:44,094
Oh, you don't?
278
00:11:44,138 --> 00:11:47,097
No, I-I do have
intel sources. The Watchers.
279
00:11:47,141 --> 00:11:48,751
Nadja, why don't you
go with her, tag along?
280
00:11:48,795 --> 00:11:50,274
- Maybe you'll learn
a thing or two.
281
00:11:50,318 --> 00:11:51,928
And, Laszlo, why don't you
change your shoes,
282
00:11:51,972 --> 00:11:53,669
'cause those don't look comfy
at all, and you're gonna
283
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,236
- do some groundwork, okay?
- Why don't you get fucked?
284
00:11:55,279 --> 00:11:57,629
Okay. And you go get me
a glass of water, no ice.
285
00:11:57,673 --> 00:11:59,066
Yeah, I wouldn't have a clue
286
00:11:59,109 --> 00:12:00,763
where you would find
something like that.
287
00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:02,809
Don't get cocky.
Eat shit, Guillermo.
288
00:12:02,852 --> 00:12:04,462
Have you got some sack,
my boy.
289
00:12:04,506 --> 00:12:06,856
So then, if you don't need me,
I'll be on my way.
290
00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:08,249
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, Guillermo.
291
00:12:08,292 --> 00:12:09,859
- Not so fast.
292
00:12:09,903 --> 00:12:12,209
- Not so fast, old chap.
Okay, then.
293
00:12:12,253 --> 00:12:14,646
What are you waiting for?
You have your orders. Go.
294
00:12:14,690 --> 00:12:15,735
- Let's do it.
- Come on.
295
00:12:19,260 --> 00:12:21,001
When I'm in desperate need
of information,
296
00:12:21,044 --> 00:12:22,567
I have two go-to sources.
297
00:12:22,611 --> 00:12:23,786
The Watchers.
298
00:12:28,922 --> 00:12:30,358
Are they meeting us here, or...?
299
00:12:30,401 --> 00:12:31,707
Oh, they're here already.
300
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:33,883
They've always been here.
301
00:12:33,927 --> 00:12:36,190
I mean, at least
since this building was built.
302
00:12:36,233 --> 00:12:37,931
Hello, ladies.
303
00:12:37,974 --> 00:12:40,107
- Oh, yeah.
304
00:12:41,978 --> 00:12:44,459
- Honey, it's been way too long.
- Oh.
305
00:12:44,502 --> 00:12:46,809
And looks like
you finally made a friend.
306
00:12:46,853 --> 00:12:49,333
Hello.
We have
a desperate emergency.
307
00:12:49,377 --> 00:12:51,335
We were wondering
if anyone has spotted
308
00:12:51,379 --> 00:12:53,598
an ancient vampire on the loose?
309
00:12:53,642 --> 00:12:56,993
- About four-foot-nine.
Horrible face.
Oh, my.
310
00:12:57,037 --> 00:12:58,386
Completely naked.
311
00:12:58,429 --> 00:13:00,910
Genitalia like nothing
you've ever seen.
312
00:13:00,954 --> 00:13:03,739
You'd be surprised
at what I have seen,
313
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:05,697
but no,
not ringing any bells.
314
00:13:05,741 --> 00:13:07,003
Speaking of ringing bells,
listen to this.
315
00:13:07,047 --> 00:13:08,483
You know how
Count Blake the Torturous
316
00:13:08,526 --> 00:13:09,701
is selling
his haunted clock tower?
317
00:13:09,745 --> 00:13:11,181
- Yes.
- Well, it turns out
318
00:13:11,225 --> 00:13:13,618
they had to lower
the asking price, twice.
319
00:13:13,662 --> 00:13:15,185
- Twice!
- In this market?
320
00:13:15,229 --> 00:13:17,187
I know. Just because
it has half a staircase
321
00:13:17,231 --> 00:13:18,841
doesn't make it a duplex.
322
00:13:18,885 --> 00:13:21,801
Also, yeah, they're, like,
super gossipy bitches.
323
00:13:21,844 --> 00:13:23,454
Oh! Sorry! This is very urgent!
324
00:13:23,498 --> 00:13:25,543
- Back to it, please.
We need your help.
- No fun.
325
00:13:25,587 --> 00:13:27,807
All right, I'll check in with
some of the other gargoyles.
326
00:13:27,850 --> 00:13:28,982
Thank you.
327
00:13:31,941 --> 00:13:33,943
Oh, you know, I've heard
this sound at night sometimes,
328
00:13:33,987 --> 00:13:36,685
but I always just thought
it was a passing truck.
329
00:13:36,728 --> 00:13:37,860
Huh!
330
00:13:37,904 --> 00:13:39,819
- Oh.
331
00:13:39,862 --> 00:13:41,472
All right, all right,
I've got something for you.
332
00:13:41,516 --> 00:13:44,824
So, hearing from one
of my 'goyles out in Queens...
333
00:13:44,867 --> 00:13:46,129
"'Goyles." We get it.
334
00:13:46,173 --> 00:13:48,697
Low-hanging fruit
has never made me laugh.
335
00:13:48,740 --> 00:13:50,873
Your sense of humor
is so fucking interesting.
336
00:13:50,917 --> 00:13:52,875
Oh, shut up, you old cooze.
337
00:13:52,919 --> 00:13:54,834
- The Sire! The Sire!
- You got it.
338
00:13:54,877 --> 00:13:56,966
A creature
that matches that description
339
00:13:57,010 --> 00:13:58,663
was spotted in Ozone Park.
340
00:13:58,707 --> 00:14:00,578
- Ozone Park. Got it.
- Come on!
341
00:14:00,622 --> 00:14:02,972
- Thank you.
- Uh, wait! Don't you have
any hot goss for us?
342
00:14:03,016 --> 00:14:04,582
Quid pro quo, Clarice.
343
00:14:04,626 --> 00:14:06,106
Sorry. Fresh out.
344
00:14:06,149 --> 00:14:07,803
- Got to run!
- Oh! Nice!
345
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,544
I guess see you next time
you need something from us.
346
00:14:09,587 --> 00:14:11,589
- What a pair of messy bitches.
- Yeah.
347
00:14:11,633 --> 00:14:13,374
I'm obsessed.
348
00:14:13,417 --> 00:14:14,854
Sire!
- Where's that magic flute
349
00:14:14,897 --> 00:14:16,072
- when you need it?
Shush, Laszlo.
350
00:14:16,116 --> 00:14:17,160
All right, everyone,
351
00:14:17,204 --> 00:14:18,596
stay alert and stay vigilant.
352
00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:20,250
Careful. He might be hiding
up a tree.
353
00:14:20,294 --> 00:14:21,904
Oh...
354
00:14:21,948 --> 00:14:23,253
Stop!
355
00:14:23,297 --> 00:14:25,168
- What is that?
- Look at these footsteps.
356
00:14:25,212 --> 00:14:26,909
- Something's not right.
- Careful!
357
00:14:29,129 --> 00:14:30,521
Just like I suspected.
358
00:14:30,565 --> 00:14:32,088
Vampire piss.
359
00:14:32,132 --> 00:14:33,916
How do you know
what vampire piss tastes like?
360
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:36,397
- Just trust me, okay?
- Hmm.
361
00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:37,833
Judging by these tracks,
362
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,791
he's headed... south.
363
00:14:39,835 --> 00:14:42,229
Oh.
- Okay, you heard Piss Man.
Let's move.
364
00:14:42,272 --> 00:14:44,753
- She calls for us to move!
- I just fucking said it.
365
00:14:44,796 --> 00:14:46,407
She just fucking said it!
366
00:14:46,450 --> 00:14:49,323
I made a posting
on the website Nextdoor
367
00:14:49,366 --> 00:14:51,542
asking if anyone saw
anything suspicious,
368
00:14:51,586 --> 00:14:53,457
but it-it just kind of
turned into
369
00:14:53,501 --> 00:14:55,068
- an orgy of racism.
370
00:14:55,111 --> 00:14:57,026
- Okay! Come on! This way!
Oh, we must hurry.
371
00:14:57,070 --> 00:14:59,855
- Go, Hellhound. Go, baby.
372
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,683
Careful, careful.
373
00:15:01,726 --> 00:15:04,207
Looks like The Sire stopped
for a snack.
374
00:15:04,251 --> 00:15:06,427
Oh, little snack.
- Probably the security guard.
375
00:15:06,470 --> 00:15:09,821
Yum.
- It's like the meat has been
sucked out from the inside,
376
00:15:09,865 --> 00:15:12,999
like a hairy crab leg.
377
00:15:13,042 --> 00:15:14,914
- He probably took the carcass
inside.
- The what?
378
00:15:14,957 --> 00:15:16,698
- The "cuh-cass." The "cuh-cass."
- Yes,
379
00:15:16,741 --> 00:15:18,743
-"cuh-cass."
- Which means one thing.
380
00:15:18,787 --> 00:15:19,962
He's trapped.
381
00:15:20,006 --> 00:15:21,659
- This is our chance.
- Great.
382
00:15:21,703 --> 00:15:23,400
- Well, you go ahead
and we'll wait here.
- No!
383
00:15:23,444 --> 00:15:26,142
- All your lives depend on this!
- All vampires' lives!
384
00:15:26,186 --> 00:15:27,970
Not mine. Not energy vampires.
385
00:15:28,014 --> 00:15:29,580
This is hopeless.
386
00:15:29,624 --> 00:15:31,495
The sun is going to come up
and, when it does,
387
00:15:31,539 --> 00:15:33,628
it's going to kill that thing
and then we're all going to die
388
00:15:33,671 --> 00:15:35,586
and it's all because of me!
389
00:15:35,630 --> 00:15:37,327
Fucking...
390
00:15:37,371 --> 00:15:39,677
Stop feeling sorry
for yourself, okay?
391
00:15:39,721 --> 00:15:41,941
And help me help you fix this!
392
00:15:43,812 --> 00:15:46,119
Let's go kill that Sire.
393
00:15:46,162 --> 00:15:48,077
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
- Yes. Well, no, no!
394
00:15:48,121 --> 00:15:49,992
Let's not kill.
We're not gonna kill it.
395
00:15:50,036 --> 00:15:52,212
- Whoa there, beast! Heel!
396
00:15:52,255 --> 00:15:54,649
No, we're not
gonna kill it, remem...
Cursed brute!
397
00:15:54,692 --> 00:15:56,477
A little help, please?
398
00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:59,480
Wow, that freak really tore
this place up.
399
00:15:59,523 --> 00:16:01,569
Where is
the ravenous little monster?
400
00:16:01,612 --> 00:16:03,179
Okay, here's what
we're gonna do.
401
00:16:03,223 --> 00:16:05,051
Nadja, Laszlo,
you'll find The Sire
402
00:16:05,094 --> 00:16:06,791
and corner him
to the back of the store
403
00:16:06,835 --> 00:16:09,185
while Colin Robinson, Nandor
and myself will be there
404
00:16:09,229 --> 00:16:11,100
waiting for him
so he doesn't escape.
405
00:16:11,144 --> 00:16:13,320
And, uh,
406
00:16:13,363 --> 00:16:15,409
Guide Lady and The Baron...
407
00:16:15,452 --> 00:16:17,498
Mm-hmm.
-...whatever you do,
just do it quietly.
408
00:16:17,541 --> 00:16:18,629
- GUIDE
409
00:16:20,501 --> 00:16:22,372
Come on, my darling. Let's head
for the women's intimates.
410
00:16:22,416 --> 00:16:24,200
- This way.
- Can you stop flashing
that thing in my eyes?
411
00:16:24,244 --> 00:16:25,201
Sorry.
412
00:16:25,245 --> 00:16:26,898
Yoo-hoo!
413
00:16:26,942 --> 00:16:28,509
Grijillium.
414
00:16:28,552 --> 00:16:30,511
Now, if I had my magic flute,
415
00:16:30,554 --> 00:16:32,339
this would all be over
in two minutes.
416
00:16:32,382 --> 00:16:34,384
Would you shut the fuck up
about your pissing magic flute?
417
00:16:34,428 --> 00:16:35,864
My magic flute works.
418
00:16:35,907 --> 00:16:37,822
- Grianjistun!
419
00:16:39,563 --> 00:16:41,217
Bloody shit! There he is!
420
00:16:41,261 --> 00:16:46,483
Oh!
- Whoa!
421
00:16:52,533 --> 00:16:54,187
- Shit.
422
00:16:54,230 --> 00:16:56,058
Dring Grinjly.
423
00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:00,367
- Gruj-Grujum!
424
00:17:00,410 --> 00:17:01,759
Oh.
425
00:17:01,803 --> 00:17:03,761
Jin-Jingreelij.
426
00:17:03,805 --> 00:17:08,201
We've come to take you home to
your lovely, cozy prison cell!
427
00:17:08,244 --> 00:17:09,593
What is he doing?
428
00:17:09,637 --> 00:17:11,030
We need something
to get his attention.
429
00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:12,248
Yeah, well, we might be in luck.
430
00:17:12,292 --> 00:17:13,858
We don't have a magic flute.
431
00:17:15,469 --> 00:17:17,471
We got one of these.
Don't mind if I do.
432
00:17:17,514 --> 00:17:19,473
- Careful.
433
00:17:22,302 --> 00:17:24,173
- Oh, yes. That's right.
434
00:17:24,217 --> 00:17:26,958
Come on, big green baby.
Yes, come to Mama.
435
00:17:27,002 --> 00:17:29,352
- Oh, Laszlo, look out!
436
00:17:29,396 --> 00:17:30,745
- My darling!
437
00:17:30,788 --> 00:17:32,399
Fuck me.
438
00:17:32,442 --> 00:17:33,704
Leave him alone!
439
00:17:33,748 --> 00:17:34,923
- Stop it!
440
00:17:34,966 --> 00:17:36,577
Leave my husband alone!
441
00:17:46,848 --> 00:17:48,197
Laszlo!
442
00:17:48,241 --> 00:17:50,460
My darling! Oh!
443
00:17:50,504 --> 00:17:53,376
Are you dead?! My love.
444
00:17:53,420 --> 00:17:55,465
- I think
I swallowed the harmonica.
445
00:17:57,032 --> 00:17:58,773
- Where is that thing?
446
00:17:59,774 --> 00:18:01,819
If I had more time, I would
build something more advanced,
447
00:18:01,863 --> 00:18:03,430
obviously, but...
448
00:18:03,473 --> 00:18:05,432
I think this will get
the job done.
449
00:18:05,475 --> 00:18:07,390
They didn't have any armor,
so I had to make do.
450
00:18:07,434 --> 00:18:10,132
Yeah. See?
Yeah, that'll do it.
- Yes.
451
00:18:10,176 --> 00:18:14,049
Yeah.
- All we need now is bait.
452
00:18:15,833 --> 00:18:17,270
No. No.
453
00:18:17,313 --> 00:18:18,619
Yes.
- No.
454
00:18:18,662 --> 00:18:20,229
Why do I have to be tied
to this rope?
455
00:18:20,273 --> 00:18:21,622
So that we can yank you back
456
00:18:21,665 --> 00:18:23,493
moments before you are
viciously mauled.
457
00:18:25,060 --> 00:18:27,497
- Shit. What the fuck is this?
458
00:18:27,541 --> 00:18:30,457
Greetings and salutations!
459
00:18:30,500 --> 00:18:32,154
Laszlo, enough.
460
00:18:32,198 --> 00:18:34,330
You did not swallow
a bloody harmonica.
461
00:18:34,374 --> 00:18:36,419
- Yes... I... did.
462
00:18:36,463 --> 00:18:40,380
Human bait. Obviously! We should
have done this from the start!
463
00:18:40,423 --> 00:18:42,164
Nice little car, Baron!
464
00:18:42,208 --> 00:18:45,341
Oh, I am controlling it
with my mind.
465
00:18:45,385 --> 00:18:46,908
Looking good.
466
00:18:46,951 --> 00:18:48,388
That's great.
Where-where is The Sire, though?
467
00:18:48,431 --> 00:18:50,694
He lunged at us.
And he moves like lightning.
468
00:18:50,738 --> 00:18:52,348
So be prepared to yank that rope
469
00:18:52,392 --> 00:18:54,350
and the human bait
very, very quickly.
470
00:18:54,394 --> 00:18:56,439
Don't care about it. Just yank.
471
00:18:56,483 --> 00:18:58,963
-Negabme.
Shit.
472
00:19:01,401 --> 00:19:02,706
Quick! Get out of here!
He can see us!
473
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:08,538
Make yourself look appetizing,
Guillermo.
474
00:19:08,582 --> 00:19:10,453
Shake your moneymaker.
475
00:19:11,672 --> 00:19:13,587
Enough of this.
476
00:19:15,241 --> 00:19:17,112
Why did you yank me early?
477
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:18,635
That's what she said.
478
00:19:18,679 --> 00:19:21,247
I just found out
about that series of jokes.
479
00:19:21,290 --> 00:19:23,379
Because you should not be
in this situation.
480
00:19:23,423 --> 00:19:25,599
This is all my doing.
481
00:19:25,642 --> 00:19:28,906
I should be the one that goes
toe to toe with the beast.
482
00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:31,996
Nandor, wait.
483
00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:36,000
Uh, I have something
I need to tell you.
484
00:19:36,044 --> 00:19:37,393
Okay.
485
00:19:38,742 --> 00:19:40,440
I don't think
you should wear that helmet,
486
00:19:40,483 --> 00:19:42,616
because it's going to make
absolutely no difference
487
00:19:42,659 --> 00:19:45,793
when The Sire is crushing you
and mincing you to smithereens.
488
00:19:45,836 --> 00:19:47,795
- Uh, I...
- You look very stupid.
489
00:19:47,838 --> 00:19:50,232
- Okay.
- Take it off.
490
00:19:50,276 --> 00:19:53,453
And I appreciate
you telling me that.
491
00:19:53,496 --> 00:19:54,715
You are a good friend.
492
00:19:54,758 --> 00:19:56,369
Thanks for nothing.
493
00:19:56,412 --> 00:19:58,371
- But I was... trying to save...
- Wish me luck.
494
00:19:58,414 --> 00:19:59,459
Luck.
- Good luck.
495
00:20:02,462 --> 00:20:05,552
Hello, Mr. Sire!
I'm coming to visit with you!
496
00:20:05,595 --> 00:20:07,945
Hey! Hey!
497
00:20:07,989 --> 00:20:10,644
- Hey! Quit!
Can you not do that, please?!
- Neberme ate.
498
00:20:10,687 --> 00:20:13,081
- That's not very nice! Hey!
499
00:20:13,124 --> 00:20:14,430
-Neberme ate.
- Please don't do that.
500
00:20:14,474 --> 00:20:16,432
What is Nandor doing?
501
00:20:16,476 --> 00:20:18,260
The beast just wants to be free.
502
00:20:18,304 --> 00:20:20,784
-Neberme ate.
- Ha-ha! Can't catch me! Ow!
503
00:20:20,828 --> 00:20:23,483
- How do you know that?
- Well, that is
what it keeps saying.
504
00:20:23,526 --> 00:20:27,269
"Neberme ate." Which means
"do not take me back"
505
00:20:27,313 --> 00:20:29,576
in the ancient vampire tongue.
506
00:20:29,619 --> 00:20:31,099
I thought we all knew this.
507
00:20:31,142 --> 00:20:32,274
You speak its language?
508
00:20:32,318 --> 00:20:33,797
But of course.
509
00:20:33,841 --> 00:20:35,799
- Master, wait! I'm coming!
- Wh...
510
00:20:35,843 --> 00:20:38,411
- Whoa!
It's fine.
It's going great.
511
00:20:38,454 --> 00:20:40,239
I think he's getting tired.
512
00:20:40,282 --> 00:20:42,980
- Speak to it. Speak to it.
- Why should I have to speak...
513
00:20:43,024 --> 00:20:44,373
Ko ne dabas, mek?
514
00:20:49,030 --> 00:20:50,118
Ne, ne, ne.
515
00:21:01,999 --> 00:21:04,306
- Oh, oh!
516
00:21:04,350 --> 00:21:06,830
What's so G-damn funny?
517
00:21:06,874 --> 00:21:08,876
Oh. Ladies and gentlemen,
518
00:21:08,919 --> 00:21:10,617
everything is okay now.
519
00:21:10,660 --> 00:21:13,141
Uh, you see,
Goeëjlrm here thought
520
00:21:13,184 --> 00:21:14,751
that you guys wanted
to kill him.
521
00:21:14,795 --> 00:21:16,187
- We did.
What?
- No, it-- No.
522
00:21:16,231 --> 00:21:17,276
No, no, no, no.
523
00:21:17,319 --> 00:21:18,755
Of course not!
524
00:21:18,799 --> 00:21:20,322
- But now that he has been fed
525
00:21:20,366 --> 00:21:23,282
and knows that he is safe,
everything is okay.
526
00:21:23,325 --> 00:21:27,416
- Oh.
- Enter kate ne atgavo.
527
00:21:27,460 --> 00:21:30,114
Ah. And if you try
to put him back in that cell,
528
00:21:30,158 --> 00:21:32,029
he's going to rip each
of your throats out.
529
00:21:32,073 --> 00:21:33,988
- Fair enough.
- Eh.
We could add
530
00:21:34,031 --> 00:21:35,685
some extra hay, you know,
531
00:21:35,729 --> 00:21:37,208
maybe a rope swing.
532
00:21:37,252 --> 00:21:39,341
Enter kate ne atgavo!
533
00:21:39,385 --> 00:21:42,126
- Copy that!
Makes perfect sense.
534
00:21:42,170 --> 00:21:43,345
Come on, old friend.
535
00:21:43,389 --> 00:21:45,347
No one's going to hurt you.
536
00:21:45,391 --> 00:21:48,872
- Can I just say,
on behalf of us--
537
00:21:48,916 --> 00:21:51,135
Oh, fuck it. Doesn't matter.
538
00:21:52,136 --> 00:21:53,703
So we were able to get The Sire
539
00:21:53,747 --> 00:21:56,445
back under
Vampiric Council control.
540
00:21:56,489 --> 00:21:59,448
See? No one's going to hurt you.
We are all, uh, your friends.
541
00:21:59,492 --> 00:22:02,321
Turns out The Sire had
an absolutely excellent sense
542
00:22:02,364 --> 00:22:04,105
of humor. Very dry.
543
00:22:04,148 --> 00:22:06,412
Do you think he'd mind it
if I pulled his tail?
544
00:22:06,455 --> 00:22:07,804
- He likes it!
No, no.
Aah!
545
00:22:07,848 --> 00:22:09,763
Nandor, leave it,
you fucking idiot.
546
00:22:09,806 --> 00:22:11,112
And we have sorted out
547
00:22:11,155 --> 00:22:13,375
a much more suitable
living situation.
548
00:22:13,419 --> 00:22:15,072
For all involved.
549
00:22:16,509 --> 00:22:18,162
Well, frankly, it has turned out
550
00:22:18,206 --> 00:22:20,948
to be a pretty terrific setup
for all three of us.
551
00:22:20,991 --> 00:22:23,516
-Butam vednum.
Oh.
552
00:22:23,559 --> 00:22:25,387
Goeëjlrm has comfort
553
00:22:25,431 --> 00:22:28,695
and space and companionship.
554
00:22:28,738 --> 00:22:31,698
Neves ton tyeknon itho?
555
00:22:31,741 --> 00:22:33,743
Yes, that infernal squirrel.
556
00:22:33,787 --> 00:22:35,484
It drives him to madness.
557
00:22:35,528 --> 00:22:36,920
And the hound
558
00:22:36,964 --> 00:22:38,922
has been able
to really be itself.
559
00:22:41,272 --> 00:22:42,752
Ah, well,
560
00:22:42,796 --> 00:22:45,929
I am thankful
to no longer be suckling
561
00:22:45,973 --> 00:22:48,149
-blood-soaked dirt underground.
562
00:22:49,890 --> 00:22:51,195
- Oh.
563
00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:53,676
It is time.
564
00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:56,462
And we are able
to regularly feed thanks
565
00:22:56,505 --> 00:23:00,117
to the online service
Airbnb.com.
566
00:23:00,161 --> 00:23:04,731
Hello. Is this
the Rustic Remote Airbnb rental?
567
00:23:04,774 --> 00:23:06,733
Yes. Do come in.
568
00:23:06,776 --> 00:23:09,083
You're just in time for...
569
00:23:09,126 --> 00:23:10,127
dinner.
570
00:23:28,668 --> 00:23:30,321
Ladies and gentlemen...
571
00:23:32,106 --> 00:23:34,587
-...we got him.
572
00:23:34,630 --> 00:23:36,806
You got him!
573
00:23:40,288 --> 00:23:43,465
♪ He came bursting
out of nowhere♪
574
00:23:43,509 --> 00:23:47,034
♪ Like a sphere into the sky♪
575
00:23:47,077 --> 00:23:50,820
♪ And he cast his light
on everything♪
576
00:23:50,864 --> 00:23:54,041
♪ It was like he'd never die♪
577
00:23:54,084 --> 00:23:57,523
♪ And he landed
right on target♪
578
00:23:57,566 --> 00:24:01,004
♪ But the target rolled away♪
579
00:24:01,048 --> 00:24:04,921
♪ And it left him
pointing nowhere♪
580
00:24:04,965 --> 00:24:08,490
♪ You could heard
the children say♪
581
00:24:08,534 --> 00:24:13,321
♪ He's the fellow,
the man who invented himself.♪
582
00:24:35,648 --> 00:24:36,387
Hillary.
583
00:24:36,431 --> 00:24:37,519
Hillary, wake up.
584
00:24:40,304 --> 00:24:41,305
I'm sorry.
585
00:24:41,871 --> 00:24:42,829
For what?
586
00:25:06,635 --> 00:25:08,115
There's been an event
587
00:25:09,116 --> 00:25:10,552
the world over.
588
00:25:11,858 --> 00:25:13,903
Everywhere, they're gone.
589
00:25:18,734 --> 00:25:22,303
I just can't
make sense of it.
590
00:25:23,043 --> 00:25:24,348
How did he survive?
591
00:25:25,611 --> 00:25:26,568
Why him?
592
00:25:37,057 --> 00:25:37,797
Please try to avoid
sudden ships and wait.
593
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:39,581
Sorry. Hey!
594
00:25:39,625 --> 00:25:42,366
My name is B.J. Novak.
I want to tell you
about the show I made.
595
00:25:43,977 --> 00:25:45,761
Every episode
is completely different.
596
00:25:45,805 --> 00:25:46,893
Pop-culture. Sex.
597
00:25:46,936 --> 00:25:48,416
- MAN Revenge.
Guns.
598
00:25:48,459 --> 00:25:50,636
Must be training
for something
599
00:25:50,679 --> 00:25:52,246
[SPUTTERS]Meaningful issues...
600
00:25:52,289 --> 00:25:53,595
Celebrity worship is better.
601
00:25:53,639 --> 00:25:55,641
...explored through
meaningless comedy.
602
00:25:55,684 --> 00:25:58,078
You never forget
a scrotum like that.
603
00:25:58,121 --> 00:25:59,688
Haunts my dreams.
604
00:25:59,732 --> 00:26:00,776
That's it.