1 00:00:02,883 --> 00:00:04,318 NADJA: Nandor! 2 00:00:04,352 --> 00:00:05,622 Nandor! (groans) 3 00:00:05,655 --> 00:00:07,559 Where the fuck is Nandor? 4 00:00:09,462 --> 00:00:11,399 Nandor has taken to 5 00:00:11,432 --> 00:00:13,671 slipping away from the house at odd times recently. 6 00:00:13,704 --> 00:00:15,340 Which is very annoying for me, 7 00:00:15,374 --> 00:00:16,810 'cause, unfortunately, 8 00:00:16,844 --> 00:00:19,482 I need his help with an extremely crucial task: 9 00:00:19,516 --> 00:00:21,787 updating the Vampiric Council's website. 10 00:00:21,820 --> 00:00:23,691 I don't even know what a website is. 11 00:00:23,724 --> 00:00:25,327 I thought it was something to do with spiders. 12 00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:27,231 Not tonight, huh, guys? 13 00:00:27,264 --> 00:00:29,235 LASZLO: Nandor's behavior has been very odd of late. 14 00:00:29,268 --> 00:00:31,139 Privacy, please! 15 00:00:31,172 --> 00:00:33,276 PRODUCER: Nandor. Nandor... 16 00:00:33,310 --> 00:00:34,378 But I think I know why. 17 00:00:35,480 --> 00:00:36,449 He's been disappearing 18 00:00:36,482 --> 00:00:38,453 to the penny pornos. 19 00:00:38,486 --> 00:00:40,658 Penny porno is a room in town 20 00:00:40,692 --> 00:00:42,696 where men pay a cent to sit next to each other 21 00:00:42,729 --> 00:00:45,133 and whack off. Why would he lie about that? 22 00:00:45,167 --> 00:00:47,338 I wouldn't care; I'd tell everyone that's where I go. 23 00:00:47,371 --> 00:00:49,509 In fact, I've just come back from there. 24 00:00:49,543 --> 00:00:52,248 GUILLERMO: I honestly have no idea where he's been going. 25 00:00:52,281 --> 00:00:54,385 Knock, knock. Coming in. 26 00:00:54,418 --> 00:00:56,155 I should know where's he at at all times. I'm his bodyguard. 27 00:00:56,189 --> 00:00:58,460 Rise and shine, 28 00:00:58,494 --> 00:00:59,830 sleepy‐‐ (shrieks) 29 00:00:59,863 --> 00:01:03,671 And that is not Nandor. 30 00:01:03,704 --> 00:01:05,407 I honestly have no idea where he's going. 31 00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:07,512 COLIN: So we've decided to follow him. 32 00:01:07,545 --> 00:01:08,814 Me, personally, 33 00:01:08,848 --> 00:01:10,250 I couldn't give a shit where he goes. 34 00:01:10,284 --> 00:01:12,154 But I don't want the others to think 35 00:01:12,187 --> 00:01:15,695 that I'm not down to clown at the drop of a hat. 36 00:01:17,666 --> 00:01:19,201 ‐(Nandor groaning) ‐GUILLERMO: Do you hear that? 37 00:01:19,235 --> 00:01:20,505 That's definitely him. 38 00:01:20,538 --> 00:01:22,107 NADJA: Why would he come to a hotel? 39 00:01:22,141 --> 00:01:23,243 ‐(Nandor grunting) ‐Whoa. ‐(shrieks) 40 00:01:23,276 --> 00:01:24,713 Sounds like he's in distress. 41 00:01:24,746 --> 00:01:26,282 You'd better break the door down. 42 00:01:26,316 --> 00:01:28,119 ‐(grunting, yelling) ‐No, because it sounds‐‐ 43 00:01:28,153 --> 00:01:29,121 ‐It could be something else. ‐Bodyguard, break the door down. 44 00:01:29,155 --> 00:01:30,424 Okay. Everyone stand back. 45 00:01:30,457 --> 00:01:31,827 (Guillermo grunts) 46 00:01:31,860 --> 00:01:33,664 (Nandor and woman grunting) 47 00:01:33,698 --> 00:01:35,233 Oh, hi, guys! 48 00:01:35,267 --> 00:01:37,104 Remember Gail? I am inside her right now. 49 00:01:37,137 --> 00:01:39,275 Hi, Gail. Nice to see you again. 50 00:01:39,308 --> 00:01:40,712 ‐COLIN: Hey, Gail. ‐Hey, guys! 51 00:01:40,745 --> 00:01:42,181 ‐GUILLERMO: Okay. Everyone out. ‐GAIL: Uh, yeah. 52 00:01:42,214 --> 00:01:43,483 ‐(Nandor grunting) ‐(Gail gasps) 53 00:01:43,517 --> 00:01:45,622 ("You're Dead" by Norma Tanega playing) 54 00:01:45,655 --> 00:01:48,226 ♪ Don't sing if you want to live long ♪ 55 00:01:48,259 --> 00:01:50,632 ♪ They have no use for your song ♪ 56 00:01:50,665 --> 00:01:53,370 ♪ You're dead, you're dead, you're dead ♪ 57 00:01:53,403 --> 00:01:56,309 ♪ You're dead and out of this world ♪ 58 00:01:57,746 --> 00:02:00,785 ♪ Now your hope and compassion is gone ♪ 59 00:02:00,818 --> 00:02:03,591 ♪ You sold out your dream to the world ♪ 60 00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:05,828 ♪ Stay dead, stay dead, stay dead ♪ 61 00:02:05,862 --> 00:02:08,567 ♪ You're dead and out of this world. ♪ 62 00:02:08,601 --> 00:02:10,370 ♪ ♪ 63 00:02:17,952 --> 00:02:21,225 ♪ Gail is coming tonight. ♪ 64 00:02:21,259 --> 00:02:22,394 The cat's out the bag! 65 00:02:22,428 --> 00:02:24,499 Your boy's in love. 66 00:02:24,533 --> 00:02:27,471 Gail is coming over tonight and everything has to be perfect. 67 00:02:27,505 --> 00:02:29,241 ♪ ♪ 68 00:02:29,275 --> 00:02:30,310 I have not always been 69 00:02:30,344 --> 00:02:31,647 so lucky in love. 70 00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:34,753 Of course, there were my 37 wives, 71 00:02:34,786 --> 00:02:36,322 but they mostly hated me. 72 00:02:36,356 --> 00:02:38,326 Anyway, I had a dry spell 73 00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:40,430 for about 200 years. 74 00:02:40,464 --> 00:02:42,736 And then I met Gail. 75 00:02:42,769 --> 00:02:45,207 We have been what you might call off and on 76 00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:47,612 over the past 30, 40 years. 77 00:02:47,645 --> 00:02:49,916 But I simply cannot keep away. 78 00:02:49,950 --> 00:02:52,488 Her hair smells of tropical fruits, 79 00:02:52,522 --> 00:02:54,626 her scalp of medication. 80 00:02:54,659 --> 00:02:56,897 She lounges in T‐shirts 81 00:02:56,930 --> 00:02:59,803 bearing the image of musical poet Robert Seger. 82 00:02:59,836 --> 00:03:02,474 And her favorite brand of yogurt 83 00:03:02,509 --> 00:03:05,213 is strawberry vanilla crunch. 84 00:03:05,247 --> 00:03:06,784 (grunts) 85 00:03:06,817 --> 00:03:09,255 Guillermo! Have you still got that mini fridge? 86 00:03:09,288 --> 00:03:10,692 Yes, you do! 87 00:03:10,725 --> 00:03:11,927 ‐Great. ‐That's my fridge. 88 00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:13,430 What's‐‐ What do you need that for? 89 00:03:13,463 --> 00:03:14,833 ‐What's all this shit? ‐That's medicine. 90 00:03:14,866 --> 00:03:16,870 I need to keep that refrigerated‐‐ It's fine. 91 00:03:16,904 --> 00:03:18,974 The doctor said there might be side effects if I don't. 92 00:03:19,008 --> 00:03:21,580 ‐Don't be such a snowflake. ‐Why do you need my fridge? 93 00:03:21,613 --> 00:03:22,849 ‐Nice. ‐What is going on? 94 00:03:22,882 --> 00:03:25,220 That's a lot of yogurt. 95 00:03:25,253 --> 00:03:28,494 ‐You don't eat yogurt. ‐It's for Gail. 96 00:03:28,527 --> 00:03:30,397 Gail. 97 00:03:30,430 --> 00:03:31,867 Of course I'm happy for my master. Why wouldn't I be? 98 00:03:31,900 --> 00:03:33,771 But, as his bodyguard, it is my job 99 00:03:33,804 --> 00:03:36,543 to personally vet anyone that he spends time with. 100 00:03:36,577 --> 00:03:38,581 And that's exactly what I'll do. 101 00:03:38,614 --> 00:03:40,785 Nandor, we really need to make a decision on these fonts. 102 00:03:40,818 --> 00:03:42,454 I like Helvetica, 103 00:03:42,488 --> 00:03:44,225 'cause it's the name of one of the prostitutes 104 00:03:44,258 --> 00:03:45,862 for the donkeys in my village and they were friendly. 105 00:03:45,895 --> 00:03:48,299 ‐What do you think? ‐About what? 106 00:03:48,333 --> 00:03:49,603 The fonts for the Vampiric Council website. 107 00:03:49,636 --> 00:03:50,905 I mean, we could do Franklin Gothic, 108 00:03:50,938 --> 00:03:52,374 but it's a bit on the nose. 109 00:03:52,408 --> 00:03:53,410 Not now, Nadja, please. 110 00:03:53,443 --> 00:03:54,913 Gail is coming over tonight. 111 00:03:54,946 --> 00:03:56,617 NADJA: Yes, we are familiar 112 00:03:56,650 --> 00:03:58,954 ‐with Gail. ‐Now you're taking a risk there, 113 00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:01,392 'cause my wife hates Gail more than anyone in the world. 114 00:04:01,426 --> 00:04:03,396 I have no issue with Gail. 115 00:04:03,430 --> 00:04:04,866 What I have a problem with 116 00:04:04,900 --> 00:04:06,436 is every time her and Nandor get back together, 117 00:04:06,469 --> 00:04:08,273 she gets his hopes up 118 00:04:08,306 --> 00:04:09,576 that he can turn her into a vampire 119 00:04:09,609 --> 00:04:10,945 and they can be together for eternity. 120 00:04:10,978 --> 00:04:12,381 And then she always says "no" 121 00:04:12,414 --> 00:04:13,751 and then he always gets heartbroken. 122 00:04:13,784 --> 00:04:15,788 It's the same thing over and over again 123 00:04:15,822 --> 00:04:17,458 for the past 40 years. 124 00:04:17,492 --> 00:04:19,996 It really breaks my heart to see him like this. 125 00:04:20,030 --> 00:04:22,569 All right, all right, my darling. 126 00:04:22,602 --> 00:04:24,038 I mean, we all know you hate the woman. 127 00:04:24,071 --> 00:04:26,008 That much is clear. 128 00:04:26,042 --> 00:04:28,480 I like her! 129 00:04:28,514 --> 00:04:30,250 Ah, I may as well tell you. 130 00:04:32,655 --> 00:04:35,026 Oh... for fuck's sake. 131 00:04:35,060 --> 00:04:36,497 Is that what I think it is? 132 00:04:36,530 --> 00:04:38,501 No, it's not, you little pervert. 133 00:04:38,534 --> 00:04:40,838 It's an engagement ring. 134 00:04:40,872 --> 00:04:43,443 I'm going to give it to Gail this evening, 135 00:04:43,476 --> 00:04:45,915 then I'm going to turn her into a vampire, 136 00:04:45,948 --> 00:04:47,919 then we are going to be together for eternity. 137 00:04:47,952 --> 00:04:49,488 NADJA: Mm‐hmm. 138 00:04:49,523 --> 00:04:50,992 LASZLO: He's been down there for hours, 139 00:04:51,025 --> 00:04:52,962 desperately trying to find out what he can 140 00:04:52,996 --> 00:04:54,966 about the origin of energy vampires. 141 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:56,570 Between you and I, though, 142 00:04:56,603 --> 00:04:58,306 I wouldn't normally spend this much time with him, 143 00:04:58,339 --> 00:04:59,776 but I figured the quicker he gets on with it, 144 00:04:59,810 --> 00:05:01,312 the quicker he'll shut his mouth. 145 00:05:01,345 --> 00:05:03,884 I mean, there's tons of stuff down here 146 00:05:03,918 --> 00:05:05,788 about regular vampires, 147 00:05:05,822 --> 00:05:07,725 but almost nothing about energy vampires. 148 00:05:07,759 --> 00:05:09,361 Ha‐Have you found anything? 149 00:05:09,395 --> 00:05:10,898 Bat! 150 00:05:10,932 --> 00:05:12,067 (squeaking) 151 00:05:13,436 --> 00:05:15,608 So what am I looking for, exactly? 152 00:05:15,641 --> 00:05:17,344 I'm not sure. 153 00:05:17,377 --> 00:05:19,048 ‐Could take years, though. ‐What the hell is that? 154 00:05:19,081 --> 00:05:20,618 COLIN: What‐‐ What? 155 00:05:20,651 --> 00:05:22,822 ‐LASZLO: That book. ‐Just another book. I... 156 00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:23,991 No, no, no, no. 157 00:05:24,024 --> 00:05:25,327 This particular book. 158 00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:26,497 (chair scrapes) 159 00:05:26,530 --> 00:05:29,401 Cornelius Dong's Adventures 160 00:05:29,435 --> 00:05:31,105 ‐in the Boner Brigade. ‐Exactly. 161 00:05:31,138 --> 00:05:33,644 That never came out in hardback. 162 00:05:33,677 --> 00:05:35,480 Which means it's a fake. 163 00:05:36,650 --> 00:05:38,119 (latch clacks hollowly) 164 00:05:38,152 --> 00:05:40,625 ‐(gears grinding) ‐COLIN: What the fuck? 165 00:05:41,627 --> 00:05:42,829 LASZLO: Shit. 166 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:46,603 My jalopy! 167 00:05:46,637 --> 00:05:48,106 ‐Your‐‐ your what? ‐Here she is. 168 00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:49,475 I‐I didn't even know you could drive. 169 00:05:49,509 --> 00:05:50,845 Well, I can. 170 00:05:50,878 --> 00:05:52,882 I‐I'm an excellent driver. Rain Man. 171 00:05:52,916 --> 00:05:54,385 ‐(chuckles) ‐You are? 172 00:05:54,418 --> 00:05:55,888 Well, that's handy, 'cause I'm not. 173 00:05:55,922 --> 00:05:58,393 And I'm banned, which is why it's been impounded. 174 00:05:58,426 --> 00:06:01,833 The Vampiric Council confiscated my beloved jalopy 175 00:06:01,867 --> 00:06:05,140 to punish me for transporting miners across state lines. 176 00:06:05,173 --> 00:06:08,581 I always wondered where they hid it away 177 00:06:08,614 --> 00:06:11,385 and it's been right under my nose the entire time. 178 00:06:11,419 --> 00:06:13,156 What else do you want to know? 179 00:06:13,189 --> 00:06:15,661 One Yoplait here and then two up there. 180 00:06:15,695 --> 00:06:16,964 How did you get this ring? 181 00:06:16,997 --> 00:06:19,034 I killed some virgins the other night, 182 00:06:19,068 --> 00:06:20,705 and one was wearing a promise ring. 183 00:06:20,738 --> 00:06:22,709 I guess that's one promise he's going to keep. 184 00:06:22,742 --> 00:06:24,011 ‐(chuckling) ‐NADJA: Ugh. 185 00:06:24,044 --> 00:06:25,514 You desecrated a corpse. 186 00:06:25,548 --> 00:06:26,583 Oh, who even knows what counts 187 00:06:26,617 --> 00:06:27,719 with young people these days? 188 00:06:27,752 --> 00:06:29,956 ‐(doorbell rings) ‐She's here! 189 00:06:31,493 --> 00:06:32,896 (Nadja groans) 190 00:06:34,064 --> 00:06:36,402 ‐(exhales) ‐Yeah, you're right. (laughs) 191 00:06:36,435 --> 00:06:38,707 You're not gonna get him to focus on anything 192 00:06:38,741 --> 00:06:41,780 for the Council, not while Gail's around. 193 00:06:41,813 --> 00:06:43,149 And I totally agree. 194 00:06:43,182 --> 00:06:45,086 Agree with what? I didn't say anything. 195 00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:47,692 Oh, come on. We all know that you kind of think 196 00:06:47,725 --> 00:06:49,930 that Gail is a little bit of a big‐time bitch. 197 00:06:49,963 --> 00:06:51,465 I don't dislike Gail! 198 00:06:51,500 --> 00:06:54,038 Why does everyone think I dislike Ga‐‐ 199 00:06:54,071 --> 00:06:55,975 It's because we're women. That is so... 200 00:06:56,008 --> 00:06:57,210 Put your differences aside and just talk to her, 201 00:06:57,244 --> 00:06:58,514 ‐woman to woman. ‐About what? 202 00:06:58,547 --> 00:06:59,516 Look, I just don't want 203 00:06:59,549 --> 00:07:00,551 to see Nandor get hurt. 204 00:07:00,584 --> 00:07:02,187 What am I sitting on? 205 00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:04,458 GUILLERMO: Oh. I'll take care of that, don't worry. 206 00:07:04,492 --> 00:07:05,661 Shame it wasn't his face. 207 00:07:11,072 --> 00:07:12,140 Ah. Is this good? Here? Whoa. 208 00:07:12,174 --> 00:07:14,111 A fireplace. (laughs) 209 00:07:14,144 --> 00:07:15,615 Romantic. 210 00:07:15,648 --> 00:07:17,084 ("Night Moves" by Bob Seger playing) 211 00:07:17,117 --> 00:07:20,123 (Nandor vocalizing) 212 00:07:20,156 --> 00:07:22,528 GAIL: Nandor's an acquired taste, I'd say. 213 00:07:22,562 --> 00:07:24,198 Like sardines, maybe. 214 00:07:24,231 --> 00:07:26,168 Like, you're not sure that you're gonna like 'em, 215 00:07:26,202 --> 00:07:27,872 and then you try 'em 216 00:07:27,905 --> 00:07:30,043 and then you eat, like, five, six cans a day 217 00:07:30,076 --> 00:07:32,147 for a month straight and then suddenly 218 00:07:32,180 --> 00:07:35,855 you're like, "Welp, I think I'm sick of sardines now." 219 00:07:35,888 --> 00:07:38,694 But then, a few years go by, and you're like, 220 00:07:38,727 --> 00:07:40,931 "How come I never eat sardines anymore?" 221 00:07:40,965 --> 00:07:44,038 ‐♪ Trying to make some ♪ ‐(Nandor vocalizing) 222 00:07:44,071 --> 00:07:45,106 ‐♪ Front page drive‐in news... ♪ (Nadja coughs) Oopsie. 223 00:07:45,140 --> 00:07:46,576 (laughs) Sorry, I was 224 00:07:46,610 --> 00:07:47,979 just, uh... Didn't mean to, um... 225 00:07:48,012 --> 00:07:49,783 NANDOR: Oh, come in, come in. 226 00:07:49,816 --> 00:07:52,655 We were just dancing in between rounds of cunnilingus. 227 00:07:52,689 --> 00:07:54,224 ‐Hello, Gail. ‐(Nandor sighs happily) 228 00:07:54,258 --> 00:07:55,661 How have you been? 229 00:07:55,695 --> 00:07:57,699 Oh, you know. Fine. 230 00:07:57,732 --> 00:08:00,070 My daughter, up in Rochester‐‐ 231 00:08:00,103 --> 00:08:02,240 ‐you know, the one in marketing? ‐So talented. 232 00:08:02,274 --> 00:08:03,944 GAIL: Oh, God. 233 00:08:03,977 --> 00:08:06,048 Well, her ex is just taking her to the cleaners. 234 00:08:06,082 --> 00:08:08,887 And then this, on top of the rain that we've been having, 235 00:08:08,921 --> 00:08:11,058 ‐it's like, "Ah!" You know? ‐NADJA: Ah. 236 00:08:11,092 --> 00:08:12,829 Too much water. 237 00:08:12,862 --> 00:08:14,164 ‐GAIL: Too much. ‐You need a yogurt. 238 00:08:14,198 --> 00:08:17,572 ‐I got your favorite. ‐GAIL: Oh, boy. 239 00:08:17,605 --> 00:08:19,943 ‐A yogurt! ‐(Nandor vocalizing) 240 00:08:22,147 --> 00:08:24,586 ‐LASZLO: You like that? ‐COLIN: I do like that. 241 00:08:24,619 --> 00:08:26,623 Nice, hey? Feel her curves. She's a beaut. 242 00:08:26,656 --> 00:08:28,560 Ah, yeah. What's it run on? 243 00:08:28,594 --> 00:08:30,531 Petrol and coal. 244 00:08:30,564 --> 00:08:32,234 ‐Hybrid. ‐You might say. 245 00:08:32,267 --> 00:08:33,937 It's called a Stutz Laszlo. 246 00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:36,142 They only made four. They gave one to Henry Ford 247 00:08:36,175 --> 00:08:39,114 and then he gave his one to his hero, Mussolini. 248 00:08:39,148 --> 00:08:41,586 That... seems about right. 249 00:08:41,620 --> 00:08:42,889 ‐Right. ‐(engine sputters) 250 00:08:42,922 --> 00:08:44,859 ‐(revs) ‐Whoa‐ho! 251 00:08:44,893 --> 00:08:46,128 ‐Did you hear that? ‐Yeah. 252 00:08:46,162 --> 00:08:47,732 Come on, man, let's go for a ride. 253 00:08:47,765 --> 00:08:48,901 We can go wherever you want. 254 00:08:48,934 --> 00:08:51,005 Montenegro, Cote d'Azur. 255 00:08:51,038 --> 00:08:52,675 ‐You name it. ‐Buffalo? 256 00:08:52,709 --> 00:08:53,677 Let's do it. 257 00:08:53,711 --> 00:08:55,046 Yeah, all right. 258 00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:56,650 ‐Yes! Now we're talking. ‐Sounds kind of fun. 259 00:08:56,683 --> 00:08:58,620 ‐A little adventure. ‐Yeah. 260 00:08:58,654 --> 00:09:00,891 COLIN: Energy vampires love a good road trip. 261 00:09:00,925 --> 00:09:04,164 I, myself, always have my mix ready to go. 262 00:09:04,198 --> 00:09:05,768 25 "Hey There Delilahs." 263 00:09:05,801 --> 00:09:08,139 Oh, and I have my trail mix. 264 00:09:08,172 --> 00:09:09,843 Not to eat, of course, 265 00:09:09,876 --> 00:09:12,749 but to shove into the crevices of the seats. 266 00:09:12,782 --> 00:09:16,055 Shit. I'm gonna need you to help me get it out of here. 267 00:09:16,088 --> 00:09:18,059 Okay, just come back, just a little. 268 00:09:18,092 --> 00:09:19,829 What's the problem? 269 00:09:19,863 --> 00:09:22,067 Um, there's a block down here. Let me get it. 270 00:09:22,100 --> 00:09:24,606 ‐(screeching) ‐(Colin screaming) 271 00:09:24,639 --> 00:09:25,908 (Colin coughs) 272 00:09:25,941 --> 00:09:27,645 What the hell? 273 00:09:27,678 --> 00:09:29,582 ‐Did I get you? ‐Did you get‐‐ Yeah. 274 00:09:29,616 --> 00:09:32,154 I have no reflection in the rearview mirror. 275 00:09:32,187 --> 00:09:34,291 You don't, but I do. I reflect. 276 00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:35,761 Okay. 277 00:09:35,795 --> 00:09:37,364 Don't think the room is big enough. 278 00:09:37,397 --> 00:09:39,602 ‐I don't think we can get it out. ‐I think they 279 00:09:39,636 --> 00:09:41,940 built this around the car. 280 00:09:41,973 --> 00:09:43,242 It was built around it? 281 00:09:43,276 --> 00:09:44,879 Around the car! 282 00:09:44,913 --> 00:09:47,083 ‐I‐I have a crazy idea. ‐What? 283 00:09:47,117 --> 00:09:48,219 ‐Are you in? ‐(engine banging) 284 00:09:48,252 --> 00:09:49,789 ‐Right. ‐What? 285 00:09:49,823 --> 00:09:51,325 No! (grunts) 286 00:09:51,358 --> 00:09:53,329 Shit. Sorry, man. Did I get you? 287 00:09:53,362 --> 00:09:54,632 ‐(choking): Back up. ‐Do what? 288 00:09:54,666 --> 00:09:55,734 Back up. 289 00:09:55,768 --> 00:09:56,937 I don't know if it can do that. 290 00:09:56,970 --> 00:09:59,141 Reverse, you shithead. 291 00:09:59,174 --> 00:10:01,780 (quietly): I wanted to ask Gail something, 292 00:10:01,813 --> 00:10:03,717 but I wanted to go and get something 293 00:10:03,750 --> 00:10:05,921 that I want to give her when I ask her that something, 294 00:10:05,955 --> 00:10:08,059 so maybe if you just stay here and keep her company, 295 00:10:08,092 --> 00:10:09,729 I can go and do that 296 00:10:09,762 --> 00:10:11,833 and maybe towel off my, uh, face and genitals. 297 00:10:11,867 --> 00:10:13,937 Uh... Fine. 298 00:10:13,971 --> 00:10:15,641 ‐Yes? Thank you. ‐(chuckles) Yes. 299 00:10:15,674 --> 00:10:17,244 I'll leave you guys to it; I'll be back in a sec. 300 00:10:17,277 --> 00:10:19,782 Thank you. Oh, Guillermo! 301 00:10:19,816 --> 00:10:22,053 Have you seen my genital towel? 302 00:10:22,087 --> 00:10:23,857 ‐Guillermo. ‐Ah! 303 00:10:23,891 --> 00:10:25,093 We're just‐‐ we're just watching Twilight, see? 304 00:10:25,126 --> 00:10:26,797 ‐Where is the ring? ‐What? 305 00:10:26,830 --> 00:10:28,967 The ring in the box! For Gail. 306 00:10:29,001 --> 00:10:30,938 ‐Is this it? ‐Give me that! 307 00:10:30,971 --> 00:10:32,875 And I am borrowing this towel. 308 00:10:32,909 --> 00:10:34,278 That's my favorite sweater. 309 00:10:35,246 --> 00:10:36,683 ‐LASZLO: It's simple. ‐Mm? All right. 310 00:10:36,716 --> 00:10:38,052 We take the car apart here, 311 00:10:38,085 --> 00:10:40,356 move it outside, then reassemble it there. 312 00:10:40,390 --> 00:10:43,229 How long did you own this car before it was taken from you? 313 00:10:43,262 --> 00:10:45,768 ‐About ten minutes. ‐Oh. Then‐‐ All right. 314 00:10:45,801 --> 00:10:48,139 LASZLO: I haven't spent much time with Colin Robinson 315 00:10:48,172 --> 00:10:50,043 in the past, for the main, obvious reason 316 00:10:50,076 --> 00:10:52,047 that he's incredibly fucking dull. 317 00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:53,884 If you buy a German car, 318 00:10:53,917 --> 00:10:55,888 you're basically supporting the Nazi party. 319 00:10:55,921 --> 00:10:57,257 LASZLO: I don't know. Maybe 320 00:10:57,290 --> 00:10:58,894 I've gone soft in my old age, 321 00:10:58,927 --> 00:11:01,131 but I've noticed that he looks a bit lonely. 322 00:11:01,165 --> 00:11:03,069 I thought I'd spend some time with him. 323 00:11:03,102 --> 00:11:04,873 I mean, you could call it my good deed. 324 00:11:04,906 --> 00:11:06,275 You're not masturbating, are you? 325 00:11:06,308 --> 00:11:07,879 COLIN: You know, I've never really 326 00:11:07,912 --> 00:11:11,018 spent much time with Laszlo before. 327 00:11:11,051 --> 00:11:14,726 With Nadja being away so much with her Council duties, 328 00:11:14,759 --> 00:11:18,065 I've decided to take pity on the poor guy. 329 00:11:18,099 --> 00:11:20,905 I‐I think he just needs a friend. 330 00:11:20,938 --> 00:11:22,440 You've got to keep notes as I'm talking, 331 00:11:22,474 --> 00:11:24,177 otherwise it'll all go to shit. 332 00:11:24,211 --> 00:11:25,446 Well, I'm trying to keep up 333 00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:26,983 with all these parts you're making up. 334 00:11:27,017 --> 00:11:28,352 ‐What is this? ‐I don't know. 335 00:11:28,386 --> 00:11:30,390 A wiggabuhbiggle is what you called it. 336 00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:32,828 The man knows his cars. 337 00:11:34,231 --> 00:11:36,168 Yeah, actually, I used to think 338 00:11:36,202 --> 00:11:38,172 that my parents were energy vampires, 339 00:11:38,206 --> 00:11:40,009 but I‐I don't know anymore. 340 00:11:40,043 --> 00:11:42,380 My dad was really dynamic and outgoing, 341 00:11:42,414 --> 00:11:44,886 kind of a RuPaul type, 342 00:11:44,919 --> 00:11:46,188 but in the '20s. 343 00:11:46,222 --> 00:11:47,858 And my mom, I... 344 00:11:47,892 --> 00:11:49,896 I don't really remember my mom anymore. 345 00:11:49,929 --> 00:11:52,000 (clangs) 346 00:11:52,033 --> 00:11:53,971 Did you mum die when you were young? 347 00:11:54,004 --> 00:11:56,743 Nah, she was just boring. Still is. 348 00:11:56,776 --> 00:11:58,747 Is this the bonus pile or is that? 349 00:11:58,780 --> 00:12:00,751 I'll be honest. At this point, 350 00:12:00,784 --> 00:12:02,487 I don't think it really matters. 351 00:12:02,521 --> 00:12:04,525 ‐I had a mother once. ‐Oh? 352 00:12:04,559 --> 00:12:05,895 What‐what was she like? 353 00:12:05,928 --> 00:12:08,132 No idea. I was raised by my nanny, 354 00:12:08,165 --> 00:12:10,871 who used to make me learn Latin in the nude. 355 00:12:10,905 --> 00:12:12,909 ‐Oh. ‐I quite liked it. 356 00:12:12,942 --> 00:12:15,480 ♪ ♪ 357 00:12:20,390 --> 00:12:22,060 (glass shatters) 358 00:12:22,093 --> 00:12:24,197 (cloth ripping) 359 00:12:32,047 --> 00:12:33,951 ‐Oh. Are you leaving? ‐Yeah. It's getting late 360 00:12:33,984 --> 00:12:36,221 and I really want to get back to my condo 361 00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:37,825 for Grey's Anatomy. 362 00:12:37,858 --> 00:12:39,929 I think Nandor is going to ask you something 363 00:12:39,963 --> 00:12:44,071 stupid, pathetic, and, uh, get rejected again, as usual. 364 00:12:44,104 --> 00:12:46,977 (laughs) Nandor knows that Thursday nights 365 00:12:47,010 --> 00:12:48,947 are for the gals. 366 00:12:48,981 --> 00:12:51,218 Meaning me and Meredith Grey. 367 00:12:51,251 --> 00:12:53,222 But, uh, tonight is, uh, Saturday. 368 00:12:53,255 --> 00:12:55,126 It's what? 369 00:12:55,159 --> 00:12:57,498 Tonight is not Thursday, tonight is Saturday. 370 00:12:57,531 --> 00:12:59,836 Excuse me, sweetie, you are on my slacks. 371 00:12:59,869 --> 00:13:01,506 Oh. I just think Nandor will be down 372 00:13:01,539 --> 00:13:03,442 ‐in just a little, tiny, one little moment... ‐I gotta go. 373 00:13:03,476 --> 00:13:05,848 Gail! Wait! Oh, I want to talk to you about Nandor. 374 00:13:05,881 --> 00:13:07,852 We can have a girlie to girlie conversation. 375 00:13:07,885 --> 00:13:10,023 ‐There's not a lot to talk about, really. ‐Gail! 376 00:13:10,056 --> 00:13:13,362 Wait. Wait! There is a bloody plunket of a man upstairs 377 00:13:13,396 --> 00:13:15,501 who has feelings, and those feelings are going to get hurt 378 00:13:15,534 --> 00:13:17,370 and then we will never choose a font! 379 00:13:17,404 --> 00:13:19,107 ‐Gail! ‐(distorted voice): Get away from me! 380 00:13:19,141 --> 00:13:20,310 ‐(growls) ‐Gail? 381 00:13:20,343 --> 00:13:22,380 (howling) 382 00:13:22,414 --> 00:13:24,451 (growling, groaning) 383 00:13:24,484 --> 00:13:27,090 Fuckin' hell. Oh! 384 00:13:29,328 --> 00:13:30,864 So many nipples. 385 00:13:30,898 --> 00:13:32,233 (snarls) 386 00:13:33,202 --> 00:13:34,539 Shoo! Shoo! 387 00:13:34,572 --> 00:13:36,408 (roars) 388 00:13:36,442 --> 00:13:38,580 Oh, Nandor, what have you done? 389 00:13:40,584 --> 00:13:43,155 I'll be completely honest with you, 390 00:13:43,189 --> 00:13:45,995 I've never done an actual car reassembly before. 391 00:13:46,028 --> 00:13:48,165 ‐Yeah, no shit, my beauty. ‐(horn honks) 392 00:13:48,199 --> 00:13:49,936 What the fuck, you two? 393 00:13:49,969 --> 00:13:52,207 Do you know what kind of damage you've done 394 00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:54,144 to some of our most priceless artifacts 395 00:13:54,177 --> 00:13:56,281 with this jackass stunt of yours? 396 00:13:56,315 --> 00:13:58,052 A good evening to you, too. 397 00:13:58,085 --> 00:14:00,456 ‐We may have bumped into a few things. ‐(scoffs) 398 00:14:00,490 --> 00:14:02,962 You shattered the crystal blood chalice 399 00:14:02,995 --> 00:14:05,033 of Vlad the Impaler himself! 400 00:14:05,066 --> 00:14:08,940 You left an enormous dent in the sarcophagus of Amen‐Ra, 401 00:14:08,974 --> 00:14:12,313 ‐and you tore the Shroud of Urine! ‐COLIN: Wait, wait. 402 00:14:12,347 --> 00:14:14,919 There's a Shroud of Turin in there? 403 00:14:14,952 --> 00:14:17,457 No. The Shroud of Urine. 404 00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:19,294 It is a completely different thing 405 00:14:19,327 --> 00:14:21,065 and even more valuable. 406 00:14:21,098 --> 00:14:22,935 And it is ruined! 407 00:14:22,968 --> 00:14:24,639 What you're failing to understand 408 00:14:24,672 --> 00:14:27,444 is the ball ache that we both had trying to get this 409 00:14:27,477 --> 00:14:30,216 from inside there to out here. 410 00:14:30,249 --> 00:14:32,353 That would make a lot of sense to me, 411 00:14:32,387 --> 00:14:35,627 if there wasn't a giant red button. 412 00:14:35,661 --> 00:14:37,063 (alarm blares) 413 00:14:37,097 --> 00:14:41,004 Ah, the magic of mechanical garage doors. 414 00:14:41,038 --> 00:14:44,010 COLIN: Yeah, okay. But how were we supposed to see 415 00:14:44,044 --> 00:14:47,217 the big red button when we were inside? 416 00:14:47,250 --> 00:14:49,121 You're right. A couple of idiots inside 417 00:14:49,154 --> 00:14:51,258 couldn't see the other red button? 418 00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:53,362 That says "push to open"? 419 00:14:53,396 --> 00:14:55,133 ‐Fuck it! ‐(alarm blares) 420 00:14:55,166 --> 00:14:58,540 Have fun! I've got to go call the insurance people! 421 00:14:58,573 --> 00:15:00,944 They're gonna rip me apart. 422 00:15:04,251 --> 00:15:06,956 Well, I think I'm gonna head home and do my research 423 00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:08,259 ‐from there for a while. ‐No, hang on. 424 00:15:08,292 --> 00:15:09,962 I can give you a lift, if you like. 425 00:15:09,996 --> 00:15:12,100 ‐Yeah, sure, that sounds fun. ‐(chuckles) 426 00:15:12,133 --> 00:15:13,637 You'll have to top her up, though. 427 00:15:13,670 --> 00:15:15,674 ‐Can do. ‐(chuckles) 428 00:15:16,743 --> 00:15:18,045 LASZLO: Right. 429 00:15:18,078 --> 00:15:19,247 ‐You ready to roll? ‐Yeah. 430 00:15:19,281 --> 00:15:20,450 (horn honks) 431 00:15:20,483 --> 00:15:22,120 ‐Let's do it. ‐(engine sputters) 432 00:15:22,153 --> 00:15:24,157 (sputtering) 433 00:15:24,191 --> 00:15:27,263 (screaming) 434 00:15:27,297 --> 00:15:28,265 Shit. 435 00:15:28,299 --> 00:15:29,635 (screaming) 436 00:15:29,669 --> 00:15:31,438 Just kidding. I'm fine. 437 00:15:31,472 --> 00:15:33,677 I'm fine. It's just a little fire. 438 00:15:33,710 --> 00:15:35,279 (laughs) 439 00:15:35,313 --> 00:15:37,383 NADJA: Honestly, of all the things! 440 00:15:37,417 --> 00:15:40,156 You have really pissed all over our pips this time, Nandor. 441 00:15:40,189 --> 00:15:43,262 Okay, yes. My Gail happens to be a werewolf. 442 00:15:43,295 --> 00:15:45,667 ‐(hisses) ‐But when we met, she was still a human. 443 00:15:45,701 --> 00:15:48,540 She's only recently been turned in a werewoman. 444 00:15:48,573 --> 00:15:51,345 Which is the proper term for a female werewolf. 445 00:15:51,378 --> 00:15:53,149 And you knew this, and you didn't tell us. 446 00:15:53,182 --> 00:15:55,419 ‐Well... ‐I defended that woman 447 00:15:55,453 --> 00:15:56,589 against my wife's jealousy. 448 00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:58,994 I don't dislike Gail! 449 00:15:59,027 --> 00:16:01,265 But this, me old chap, is a bridge too far. 450 00:16:01,298 --> 00:16:03,068 Are you insinuating 451 00:16:03,102 --> 00:16:06,543 that I would do it with her while she is in wolf form? 452 00:16:06,576 --> 00:16:09,281 Because I did, but I was in bat form. 453 00:16:09,314 --> 00:16:11,553 And it was exclusively hand stuff. 454 00:16:11,586 --> 00:16:13,557 We are the leaders of the Vampiric Council. 455 00:16:13,590 --> 00:16:16,295 How do you think it looks that one of our own 456 00:16:16,328 --> 00:16:18,165 is porking our mortal enemy!? 457 00:16:18,199 --> 00:16:20,436 Guillermo, say something, please! 458 00:16:20,469 --> 00:16:22,575 Oh, no, don't get me in the middle of this. 459 00:16:22,608 --> 00:16:25,046 I just want whatever makes my master happy. 460 00:16:25,079 --> 00:16:26,649 NANDOR: Correct answer, Guillermo. 461 00:16:26,683 --> 00:16:28,587 It's not gonna last. 462 00:16:28,620 --> 00:16:31,458 Does it not bother you that she's strung you along 463 00:16:31,493 --> 00:16:33,095 for 40 years over becoming a vampire 464 00:16:33,128 --> 00:16:35,333 and the moment a werewolf shows her his lipstick, 465 00:16:35,366 --> 00:16:37,036 she lets him turn her into a werewoman? 466 00:16:37,070 --> 00:16:38,640 Being a werewolf is not a crime! 467 00:16:38,673 --> 00:16:42,380 The only crime that my Gail is guilty of is stealing. 468 00:16:42,413 --> 00:16:44,217 Stealing my heart. 469 00:16:44,251 --> 00:16:46,054 (Doll Nadja groans, speaks foreign language) 470 00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:47,390 ‐(Nadja Doll groans) ‐NANDOR: Come on, guys. Just... 471 00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:49,127 come with me and meet her and her clan 472 00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:50,764 and we can mingle together. 473 00:16:50,797 --> 00:16:53,235 Come see that werewolves ain't so bad. 474 00:16:53,269 --> 00:16:55,339 ‐I'm in. ‐Thank you, Colin Robinson. 475 00:16:55,373 --> 00:16:57,076 ‐That's one. Laszlo? ‐NADJA: Traitor! 476 00:16:57,110 --> 00:16:58,379 ‐Fine. ‐That's two. 477 00:16:58,412 --> 00:17:00,684 ‐Laszlo! ‐I make... ‐NANDOR: Nadja... 478 00:17:00,717 --> 00:17:01,786 Oh. 479 00:17:01,819 --> 00:17:03,355 I know that you have some 480 00:17:03,389 --> 00:17:05,193 personal differences with Gail. 481 00:17:05,226 --> 00:17:06,663 It's only natural, as a woman... 482 00:17:06,696 --> 00:17:09,201 I don't dislike her because she's a woman, okay? 483 00:17:09,234 --> 00:17:11,271 Okay, then. Woman, werewoman, whatever. 484 00:17:11,305 --> 00:17:12,741 A lot of women these days 485 00:17:12,775 --> 00:17:14,745 are leaning into each other. 486 00:17:14,779 --> 00:17:16,348 It's like a thing now. 487 00:17:16,381 --> 00:17:17,818 This could be you and this could be Gail. 488 00:17:17,851 --> 00:17:20,223 I am not going to do trust exercises with a dog. 489 00:17:20,256 --> 00:17:21,358 Please? 490 00:17:21,391 --> 00:17:22,661 ‐For me? ‐Fine. 491 00:17:22,695 --> 00:17:25,099 ‐I'll go. ‐Yeah! 492 00:17:25,132 --> 00:17:26,603 ♪ ♪ 493 00:17:31,679 --> 00:17:33,349 Okay, now, look; we're not here to cause trouble, 494 00:17:33,382 --> 00:17:34,484 we're just here to, you know, be nice. 495 00:17:34,518 --> 00:17:36,488 And nonconfrontational. 496 00:17:36,522 --> 00:17:38,325 ‐Hi, werewolves! ‐(low growling) 497 00:17:38,359 --> 00:17:40,363 Well, well. If it isn't the Addams Family. 498 00:17:40,396 --> 00:17:43,369 Um... greetings. 499 00:17:43,402 --> 00:17:45,741 ‐(horn honks) ‐Car! Car! ‐Hey... 500 00:17:45,774 --> 00:17:47,377 (indistinct shouting) 501 00:17:47,410 --> 00:17:49,080 Car. 502 00:17:49,114 --> 00:17:52,655 Sorry about making you jump off the Circuit City 503 00:17:52,688 --> 00:17:54,124 the last time we were all together. 504 00:17:54,157 --> 00:17:56,161 ‐(grunts) ‐ANGE: Toby! 505 00:17:56,194 --> 00:17:58,399 ‐WEREWOLF: Oh, what the hell? ‐LASZLO: Well‐played. 506 00:17:58,432 --> 00:18:00,403 It's a protocol thing. It's not personal. 507 00:18:00,436 --> 00:18:01,673 Hello again. Hi. 508 00:18:01,706 --> 00:18:03,175 ‐(snarling) ‐Nice to‐‐ What the... 509 00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:04,578 NANDOR: Nadja, you must never approach 510 00:18:04,612 --> 00:18:06,181 a werewolf when they are eating. Sorry about that. 511 00:18:06,214 --> 00:18:08,285 I'm so sorry. 512 00:18:08,319 --> 00:18:09,689 Uh, can we start again? 513 00:18:09,722 --> 00:18:11,124 NANDOR: Yes. 514 00:18:11,158 --> 00:18:12,226 Uh, I'm Chad. 515 00:18:12,260 --> 00:18:13,530 Uh, you remember Ange. Yeah. 516 00:18:13,563 --> 00:18:15,433 Dougie. Toby. 517 00:18:15,466 --> 00:18:17,270 ‐Hello again. Hi. ‐(growls) 518 00:18:17,303 --> 00:18:18,540 ‐Oh, for fuck's sake! ‐Michael! 519 00:18:18,573 --> 00:18:20,409 ‐Michael! ‐I knew this was a bad idea. 520 00:18:20,443 --> 00:18:22,280 No, no, no. It's a very good idea. 521 00:18:22,313 --> 00:18:25,119 Please, guys. I haven't even seen Gail yet. 522 00:18:25,152 --> 00:18:26,288 Well, is that her over there? 523 00:18:26,321 --> 00:18:27,423 With that werewolf? 524 00:18:27,457 --> 00:18:30,162 (kissing, moaning) 525 00:18:30,196 --> 00:18:31,799 GAIL: Anton is a guy 526 00:18:31,833 --> 00:18:33,870 that I date sometimes who happens to be 527 00:18:33,903 --> 00:18:37,477 a werewolf, and he happened to turn me into a werewolf, too. 528 00:18:37,511 --> 00:18:40,584 I'm not super serious with Anton. 529 00:18:41,786 --> 00:18:43,455 ‐Guillermo! ‐Excuse me. 530 00:18:43,489 --> 00:18:44,725 ‐(chatting, laughing) ‐Excuse me. 531 00:18:44,759 --> 00:18:45,794 ‐Excuse me! ‐(growls) 532 00:18:45,827 --> 00:18:47,564 Allow me to introduce myself. 533 00:18:47,598 --> 00:18:49,434 My name's Guillermo de la Cruz 534 00:18:49,467 --> 00:18:51,405 and I'm the official bodyguard 535 00:18:51,438 --> 00:18:53,877 of that vampire right there. 536 00:18:53,910 --> 00:18:55,313 Hi. 537 00:18:55,346 --> 00:18:57,350 (growling) 538 00:18:57,383 --> 00:18:58,352 And...? 539 00:18:58,385 --> 00:18:59,622 Ay... 540 00:18:59,655 --> 00:19:01,759 Not only am I his bodyguard, 541 00:19:01,793 --> 00:19:05,333 I am also his heart guard. 542 00:19:05,366 --> 00:19:06,636 You just reminded me of something. 543 00:19:06,669 --> 00:19:08,606 Guys, did we remember 544 00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:10,343 to take our Heartgard this month? 545 00:19:10,376 --> 00:19:11,879 ‐Oh. ‐You got to remember 546 00:19:11,913 --> 00:19:13,482 ‐to take your Heartgard, or... ‐I took it. I took it. 547 00:19:13,516 --> 00:19:14,484 ‐...you're gonna get worms. ‐We'll get worms. 548 00:19:14,518 --> 00:19:15,353 ANTON: All right? 549 00:19:15,386 --> 00:19:16,756 Oh, Jesus. 550 00:19:16,789 --> 00:19:18,760 I always knew we couldn't trust your kind. 551 00:19:18,793 --> 00:19:20,764 Well, I always knew we couldn't trust your kind. 552 00:19:20,797 --> 00:19:22,634 ‐(hisses) ‐And I always knew 553 00:19:22,668 --> 00:19:24,204 we couldn't trust your kind. 554 00:19:24,237 --> 00:19:25,874 ‐(hissing) ‐Yes, and I, too, always knew... 555 00:19:25,907 --> 00:19:27,343 Okay, enough. 556 00:19:27,377 --> 00:19:28,913 We get it. Nobody trusts each other. 557 00:19:28,947 --> 00:19:30,884 The only way to resolve this 558 00:19:30,917 --> 00:19:32,353 is a free‐for‐all. 559 00:19:32,387 --> 00:19:34,257 To the death. (hisses) 560 00:19:34,290 --> 00:19:36,361 ‐(growling) ‐GUILLERMO: No. Stop. Stop. 561 00:19:36,395 --> 00:19:39,234 There's a better way to resolve your differences. 562 00:19:39,267 --> 00:19:40,269 Yeah? 563 00:19:40,302 --> 00:19:41,806 Twilight style. 564 00:19:41,839 --> 00:19:43,643 ‐COLIN: What's that? ‐GUILLERMO: The... the movie. 565 00:19:43,676 --> 00:19:44,945 Tw‐Twilight... 566 00:19:44,979 --> 00:19:46,248 You know what I'm saying. Twilight. 567 00:19:46,281 --> 00:19:47,383 We should just play kickball. 568 00:19:47,417 --> 00:19:48,920 Kick‐‐ Everyone knows kickball. 569 00:19:48,953 --> 00:19:50,690 ‐LASZLO: I'll kick your balls. ‐Never heard of it. 570 00:19:50,724 --> 00:19:52,360 ‐(whooping) ‐NADJA: Come on, Nandor! You can do it! 571 00:19:52,393 --> 00:19:53,797 ‐Nandor! ‐(indistinct shouting) 572 00:19:53,830 --> 00:19:55,466 I hope you're not feeling too tired, 573 00:19:55,500 --> 00:19:57,504 'cause I can go all night! 574 00:19:57,538 --> 00:19:59,340 ‐(whoops) ‐(whoops) 575 00:19:59,374 --> 00:20:00,744 Oh, I'm sure Gail's completely satisfied 576 00:20:00,777 --> 00:20:03,482 with your tiny little bat dick. 577 00:20:03,516 --> 00:20:05,486 NANDOR: I'll give you a bat dick! 578 00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:07,423 (yells) 579 00:20:07,457 --> 00:20:11,298 I mean, proportionally, it is quite normal, but 580 00:20:11,331 --> 00:20:13,837 it is slightly teensy and ineffective. 581 00:20:13,870 --> 00:20:15,406 I mean, it's a bat dick. 582 00:20:15,439 --> 00:20:16,709 You know? 583 00:20:16,743 --> 00:20:17,978 ‐(shouting) ‐(grunts) ‐GAIL: Go! 584 00:20:18,011 --> 00:20:19,280 Go! 585 00:20:19,314 --> 00:20:21,418 Ah! Ah! 586 00:20:21,451 --> 00:20:22,955 NANDOR: Come on, Laszlo! 587 00:20:22,988 --> 00:20:24,692 Use the weight of your penis, darling. 588 00:20:24,725 --> 00:20:26,228 You ready, Dick Jagger? 589 00:20:26,261 --> 00:20:27,931 ‐Go now! ‐(grunts) 590 00:20:27,965 --> 00:20:29,267 Bat! 591 00:20:29,300 --> 00:20:30,537 NADJA: Go, Laszlo! Go! 592 00:20:30,570 --> 00:20:32,574 ‐(squeaking) ‐(indistinct shouting) 593 00:20:32,608 --> 00:20:34,712 ("Supermassive Black Hole" by Muse playing) 594 00:20:34,745 --> 00:20:35,914 Where did he go? 595 00:20:35,947 --> 00:20:37,450 I think he's flown home. 596 00:20:37,483 --> 00:20:39,387 ‐NANDOR: Laszlo? ‐(cheering) 597 00:20:39,421 --> 00:20:41,258 ANTON: No! No! 598 00:20:41,291 --> 00:20:43,429 ‐(cheering) ‐Animal form is cheating! 599 00:20:43,462 --> 00:20:45,700 Come on, werewolves, you're slacking! 600 00:20:45,734 --> 00:20:48,005 ‐(growling) ‐♪ You're the queen of superficial... ♪ 601 00:20:48,038 --> 00:20:50,342 NADJA: Give me the ball. Give it to me. 602 00:20:50,376 --> 00:20:51,445 Get away from me, dog. 603 00:20:51,478 --> 00:20:52,848 (growls) 604 00:20:52,881 --> 00:20:54,718 ‐Anton, go! ‐GUILLERMO: Pretend the ball 605 00:20:54,752 --> 00:20:58,660 ‐is Gail's head! ‐I don't dislike Gail! 606 00:20:58,693 --> 00:20:59,829 (grunts) 607 00:20:59,862 --> 00:21:01,398 (screams) That was an accident! 608 00:21:01,431 --> 00:21:02,801 ‐Shit. ‐NADJA: No, I‐I did 609 00:21:02,835 --> 00:21:04,839 look out for her! Stop filming! 610 00:21:04,872 --> 00:21:06,809 ‐It was an accident! ‐NANDOR: Gail! ‐ANTON: My Gail! 611 00:21:06,843 --> 00:21:08,580 ‐Oh... ‐NADJA: I really like her. Please don't film it. 612 00:21:08,613 --> 00:21:10,316 I like this woman. 613 00:21:10,349 --> 00:21:12,588 You kicked a ball in her head and now she's dead! 614 00:21:12,621 --> 00:21:14,725 ‐NADJA: Accidentally. ‐My sweet Gail! 615 00:21:14,758 --> 00:21:16,829 ‐Stand aside, werewolf! ‐(grunts) 616 00:21:16,863 --> 00:21:18,766 I know what to do. 617 00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:20,436 (hisses) 618 00:21:28,018 --> 00:21:29,387 Ow. 619 00:21:29,420 --> 00:21:30,991 ♪ ♪ 620 00:21:32,761 --> 00:21:34,498 Breathe. Yummy. 621 00:21:34,532 --> 00:21:35,734 ‐Mmm... ‐(Gail exhales) 622 00:21:35,767 --> 00:21:37,604 Oh, yummy, yummy. Yes. 623 00:21:37,638 --> 00:21:39,007 ‐(gasps) ‐GAIL: What happened? 624 00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:40,744 She's alive! 625 00:21:40,777 --> 00:21:42,380 NADJA: I didn't kill her. 626 00:21:42,413 --> 00:21:43,616 ‐I didn't kill her. ‐Where's my pocketbook? 627 00:21:43,650 --> 00:21:44,885 NANDOR: Can you stand? 628 00:21:44,919 --> 00:21:46,354 ‐Can you stand? ‐Yes, I can stand. 629 00:21:46,388 --> 00:21:48,593 I'm old, but I'm not an invalid. 630 00:21:48,626 --> 00:21:50,062 ‐Oh... ‐Hey, Gail. 631 00:21:50,095 --> 00:21:52,333 Now that you are a vampire, 632 00:21:52,366 --> 00:21:55,740 and we can spend the rest of eternity together, 633 00:21:55,774 --> 00:21:57,978 there is something that I would like to ask you. 634 00:21:59,515 --> 00:22:02,621 Gail Marie you‐never‐told‐me‐ your‐last‐name, 635 00:22:02,654 --> 00:22:04,792 would you do me the honor 636 00:22:04,825 --> 00:22:06,496 of being my vampire bride? 637 00:22:06,529 --> 00:22:07,865 (laughing): Oh, Nandor. 638 00:22:07,898 --> 00:22:10,904 Yeah, I was married before 639 00:22:10,937 --> 00:22:14,043 and it is just... it's just not for me. 640 00:22:14,077 --> 00:22:15,881 ‐(groans) ‐But, hey, you know, 641 00:22:15,914 --> 00:22:18,653 maybe in 30 or 40 years 642 00:22:18,686 --> 00:22:20,790 down the road, who knows? I mean, 643 00:22:20,824 --> 00:22:23,897 we have all eternity 644 00:22:23,930 --> 00:22:25,901 to figure this out. 645 00:22:25,934 --> 00:22:28,506 ‐That's ages, though. ‐Yes. Listen. 646 00:22:28,540 --> 00:22:29,909 Will you wait for me? 647 00:22:29,942 --> 00:22:32,113 ‐Yes? ‐Forever. 648 00:22:32,146 --> 00:22:33,550 ‐Found your pocketbook. ‐Oh! 649 00:22:33,583 --> 00:22:35,085 All right, guys, I have 650 00:22:35,119 --> 00:22:36,822 to fly to Buffalo in the morning. 651 00:22:36,856 --> 00:22:39,695 My daughter's promotion fell through. 652 00:22:39,728 --> 00:22:41,499 ‐Oh... ‐And then, with the weather 653 00:22:41,532 --> 00:22:43,402 that we've been having... 654 00:22:43,435 --> 00:22:44,838 I mean, I really, 655 00:22:44,872 --> 00:22:46,776 really need to get to the airport early, okay? 656 00:22:46,809 --> 00:22:48,078 COLIN: Bye, Gail. 657 00:22:48,111 --> 00:22:50,049 ‐Ciao. Bye, guys. ‐We love you. I like her. 658 00:22:50,082 --> 00:22:52,420 ‐COLIN: Bye, Gail. ‐(growling) 659 00:22:52,453 --> 00:22:53,656 ‐Oh! ‐Whoa. 660 00:22:53,690 --> 00:22:55,459 NANDOR: Careful of the fence! 661 00:22:55,493 --> 00:22:57,698 ‐(groans, growls) ‐Ah... 662 00:22:57,731 --> 00:22:59,133 ANTON: Bye, sweet Gail! 663 00:22:59,167 --> 00:23:01,071 NANDOR: Farewell, my Gail. 664 00:23:01,104 --> 00:23:02,708 ♪ Night moves ♪ 665 00:23:02,741 --> 00:23:04,745 NANDOR: I don't want to click on this. 666 00:23:04,778 --> 00:23:06,816 This is my first website, 667 00:23:06,849 --> 00:23:08,485 and I think I did a pretty good job. 668 00:23:08,519 --> 00:23:09,989 NADJA: Yeah. Maybe a less exciting font. 669 00:23:10,022 --> 00:23:12,527 ‐I don't like it. ‐You don't like what? 670 00:23:12,561 --> 00:23:13,830 ‐I... ‐(horn honking) 671 00:23:13,863 --> 00:23:15,767 NANDOR: Is that what I think it is? 672 00:23:16,969 --> 00:23:18,472 ‐NADJA: Oh! ‐LASZLO: Fancy a ride? 673 00:23:18,506 --> 00:23:20,677 Oh, I'll ride on you anytime, my darling. 674 00:23:20,710 --> 00:23:22,113 ‐(Nadja laughs) ‐LASZLO: Come on! 675 00:23:22,146 --> 00:23:23,750 ‐COLIN: How about me? ‐NADJA: No, thank you. 676 00:23:23,783 --> 00:23:25,486 ‐COLIN: Oh. ‐Gail... 677 00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:26,856 ‐LASZLO: Take my hand. ‐NADJA: Lovely. I remember this. 678 00:23:26,889 --> 00:23:28,559 ♪ I remember, I remember... ♪ 679 00:23:28,593 --> 00:23:30,497 ‐NADJA: Okay. You can let go now. ‐Okay. 680 00:23:30,530 --> 00:23:32,099 ‐NANDOR: Is there room for one more? ‐There certainly is. 681 00:23:32,133 --> 00:23:33,870 ‐GUILLERMO: For two more? ‐You're going round the back. 682 00:23:33,903 --> 00:23:35,439 ‐♪ Night moves ♪ ‐♪ Ooh, working ♪ 683 00:23:36,809 --> 00:23:39,882 ‐♪ Working and practicing ♪ ‐♪ Night moves ♪ 684 00:23:39,915 --> 00:23:41,919 ♪ Working and practicing ♪ 685 00:23:41,953 --> 00:23:43,790 ‐♪ Night moves ♪ ‐♪ Oh, on the night moves... ♪ 686 00:23:43,823 --> 00:23:46,829 ‐Ah... ‐COLIN: All right, uh, everyone. 687 00:23:46,862 --> 00:23:47,965 ‐Get buckled in. ‐(engine rumbling) 688 00:23:47,998 --> 00:23:49,033 ‐Close the door. ‐(door closes) 689 00:23:49,067 --> 00:23:50,469 Hold on to your butts! 690 00:23:50,503 --> 00:23:51,872 NANDOR: Wow, she can really move! 691 00:23:51,906 --> 00:23:53,141 Can you honk the horn? 692 00:23:53,175 --> 00:23:55,112 ‐(horn honks) ‐W‐Werewolves! 693 00:23:55,145 --> 00:23:57,016 (screaming, clamoring) 694 00:23:57,049 --> 00:23:58,886 ‐LASZLO: Hang on! ‐(screaming) 695 00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:01,559 ‐♪ Oh, I remember ♪ ‐♪ Night moves ♪ 696 00:24:02,961 --> 00:24:05,700 ‐♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember ♪ ‐♪ Night moves ♪ 697 00:24:06,936 --> 00:24:08,506 ‐♪ Oh... ♪ ‐♪ Night moves ♪ 698 00:24:08,539 --> 00:24:11,512 ♪ I remember, yeah, I remember ♪ 699 00:24:11,545 --> 00:24:13,650 ‐♪ Lord, I remember ♪ ‐♪ Night moves ♪ 700 00:24:13,683 --> 00:24:16,054 ♪ Ah, ah... ♪ 701 00:24:16,087 --> 00:24:17,524 ♪ Ooh ♪ 702 00:24:17,557 --> 00:24:19,862 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh... ♪ 703 00:24:19,895 --> 00:24:23,936 ‐♪ Ooh... ♪ ‐♪ Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 704 00:24:23,970 --> 00:24:26,742 ‐♪ Ooh... ♪ ‐♪ Oh, oh. ♪ 705 00:24:31,719 --> 00:24:34,490 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org