1
00:00:00,734 --> 00:00:04,004
(cawing)

2
00:00:04,037 --> 00:00:07,541
It is a dark time
in Staten Island.

3
00:00:07,574 --> 00:00:10,611
A lot of vampires
have been slaughtered.

4
00:00:10,644 --> 00:00:13,146
(grunting, screaming)

5
00:00:14,548 --> 00:00:16,450
Not us, thankfully.
We're fine.

6
00:00:16,483 --> 00:00:18,018
But are we?

7
00:00:18,051 --> 00:00:20,020
I don't think we are.
(short chuckle)

8
00:00:20,053 --> 00:00:21,188
NANDOR:
The worst part

9
00:00:21,221 --> 00:00:22,556
is that it was our familiar

10
00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:24,258
that did the slaughtering.

11
00:00:24,291 --> 00:00:26,360
The worst part is
it was Nandor's

12
00:00:26,393 --> 00:00:28,195
own familiar
that did the slaughtering.

13
00:00:28,228 --> 00:00:30,030
It was Nandor's employee.

14
00:00:30,063 --> 00:00:32,065
Really Nandor's responsibility.

15
00:00:32,099 --> 00:00:33,400
‐Yep.
‐Talk to Nandor.

16
00:00:33,433 --> 00:00:35,302
It is true that Guillermo‐‐

17
00:00:35,335 --> 00:00:38,505
the familiar that all of us
share command of

18
00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:42,109
and responsibility for‐‐ is the
one that did the slaughtering.

19
00:00:42,142 --> 00:00:44,278
‐Aah!
‐NANDOR: But he did it

20
00:00:44,311 --> 00:00:47,481
to save our lives
from the Vampiric Council.

21
00:00:47,514 --> 00:00:51,318
Still, he should not have
done so much slaughtering.

22
00:00:51,351 --> 00:00:54,588
I frankly couldn't give
a cat's knuckle about Gizmo.

23
00:00:54,621 --> 00:00:57,424
I mean, he's just kind
of this fluttering lickspittle

24
00:00:57,457 --> 00:01:01,295
that is always bouncing about,
always behind Nandor.

25
00:01:01,328 --> 00:01:02,763
‐But Nandor likes him.
‐LASZLO: Oh, shut up,
Colin Robinson.

26
00:01:02,796 --> 00:01:04,431
‐You're giving me the pip.
‐Yes.

27
00:01:04,464 --> 00:01:06,233
And we are
running out of time here.

28
00:01:06,266 --> 00:01:09,236
Well, I guess I should
just shut the fuck up then.

29
00:01:09,269 --> 00:01:10,637
If you insist.

30
00:01:10,671 --> 00:01:12,105
NADJA:
I'm not objecting.

31
00:01:12,139 --> 00:01:13,407
You know, we know
what we have to do.

32
00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:14,675
We have to put
Guillermo to death

33
00:01:14,708 --> 00:01:16,410
before he puts
all of us to death.

34
00:01:16,443 --> 00:01:18,312
‐But he saved our lives.
‐NADJA: Okay, so we're saying,

35
00:01:18,345 --> 00:01:20,080
"Thank you for saving us,
but sorry,

36
00:01:20,113 --> 00:01:21,715
you're our mortal enemy‐‐
you got to die, babes."

37
00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:24,151
But we are still
in imminent danger.

38
00:01:24,184 --> 00:01:26,420
May I remind you all
that we were sentenced

39
00:01:26,453 --> 00:01:29,289
to death by the Vampiric Council
for killing vampires.

40
00:01:29,323 --> 00:01:31,725
‐Which he did.
‐And then more vampires
were killed.

41
00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:34,428
‐By him.
‐Which means they're gonna
send more assassins

42
00:01:34,461 --> 00:01:37,664
over here to get us.
And perhaps our familiar...

43
00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:39,600
‐Your familiar, dickhead.
‐You hired him,
you bloody plonker.

44
00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:42,402
...is the only one
that can protect us.

45
00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:44,338
But how do you know
he's not going to kill us?

46
00:01:44,371 --> 00:01:46,573
‐It is in his bloods.
‐COLIN: Ah, yes.

47
00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:49,343
Francis Galton's
perennial conundrum:

48
00:01:49,376 --> 00:01:51,612
‐nature versus nurture...
‐LASZLO: Shut the fuck up.

49
00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:53,580
‐Speak quiet, Colin Robinson.
‐Stop it, Colin Robinson.

50
00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:55,315
DOLL NADJA:
Everybody relax.
I have given this

51
00:01:55,349 --> 00:01:56,717
a lot of thought,
and my vote is...

52
00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:58,485
‐You don't get a vote.
‐Hey!

53
00:01:58,519 --> 00:02:00,087
‐Why not?
‐Because you are basically

54
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,388
just another version of Nadja,

55
00:02:01,421 --> 00:02:03,090
and so your vote would be
the same as hers,

56
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,458
‐which is not fair.
‐BOTH: You don't know that.

57
00:02:04,491 --> 00:02:06,426
‐Just because...
‐Oh, sorry, you go.

58
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:07,761
‐No, you go.
‐No, you go.

59
00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:09,096
‐Okay, I'll go.
‐Okay, fine.

60
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:10,531
What would your vote be?

61
00:02:10,564 --> 00:02:11,632
Death.

62
00:02:11,665 --> 00:02:13,600
What a brilliant point she has.

63
00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:15,502
I think we should
slumber on this.

64
00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:18,205
We do not have time to slumber!
The Vampiric Council is probably

65
00:02:18,238 --> 00:02:21,008
‐out there now searching for us
and him as we speak.
‐(bell ringing)

66
00:02:21,041 --> 00:02:23,310
Silence!
And hark.

67
00:02:23,343 --> 00:02:25,312
That was him.

68
00:02:25,345 --> 00:02:27,214
What could he want?

69
00:02:27,247 --> 00:02:29,416
Perhaps he is warning us
of an imminent danger.

70
00:02:30,450 --> 00:02:32,352
Or maybe his poop bucket's full.

71
00:02:32,386 --> 00:02:34,087
‐We must check.
‐I hope it's the poop bucket.

72
00:02:34,121 --> 00:02:36,089
Oh, and while
you're down there...

73
00:02:36,123 --> 00:02:38,091
kill him.

74
00:02:38,125 --> 00:02:40,227
("You're Dead"
by Norma Tanega playing)

75
00:02:40,260 --> 00:02:42,629
♪ Don't sing if you want
to live long ♪

76
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:45,232
♪ They have no use
for your song ♪

77
00:02:45,265 --> 00:02:47,768
♪ You're dead, you're dead,
you're dead ♪

78
00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:50,704
♪ You're dead
and out of this world ♪

79
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:55,375
♪ Now your hope and compassion
is gone ♪

80
00:02:55,409 --> 00:02:58,178
♪ You sold out your dream
to the world ♪

81
00:02:58,212 --> 00:03:00,447
♪ Stay dead, stay dead,
stay dead ♪

82
00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:03,217
♪ You're dead
and out of this world. ♪

83
00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:15,229
NANDOR: Make sure that you
use the handrail, because

84
00:03:15,262 --> 00:03:17,231
‐the stairs are very steep.
‐(clattering)

85
00:03:17,264 --> 00:03:18,999
LASZLO: Stupid prick.

86
00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:20,501
NANDOR: When was he last fed?

87
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,236
‐COLIN: What day is it?
‐LASZLO: Sunday, maybe?

88
00:03:22,269 --> 00:03:24,271
Really?
Gosh, it feels like Saturday.

89
00:03:24,304 --> 00:03:26,240
It's just, like,
"Where did my weekend go?"

90
00:03:26,273 --> 00:03:28,141
(laughing):
Am I right?

91
00:03:28,175 --> 00:03:30,110
NANDOR:
This is why I said
we should have a checklist

92
00:03:30,143 --> 00:03:31,612
of when he was fed
and who fed him.

93
00:03:31,645 --> 00:03:33,480
(speaking foreign language)

94
00:03:33,514 --> 00:03:35,616
How long has he been down here?

95
00:03:35,649 --> 00:03:37,584
Almost a month.
29 days.

96
00:03:37,618 --> 00:03:40,287
A month, and you've
not decided his fate yet?

97
00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:42,055
Well, I have certainly
been trying to.

98
00:03:42,089 --> 00:03:43,557
A decision like that,
there's a lot of moving parts.

99
00:03:43,590 --> 00:03:45,292
Got it.

100
00:03:45,325 --> 00:03:48,262
Now remember, do not look him
directly in the eyes.

101
00:03:48,295 --> 00:03:50,597
We still do not know
the depths of his power.

102
00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:52,299
I never looked him in the eyes
anyway, so I'm certainly

103
00:03:52,332 --> 00:03:54,234
not gonna start now.
Get the door open.

104
00:03:54,268 --> 00:03:55,669
Stand aside.

105
00:04:01,475 --> 00:04:04,244
‐Hi.
‐Guillermo,
why did you summon us?

106
00:04:04,278 --> 00:04:07,014
‐Is there a threat
of imminent danger?
‐No.

107
00:04:07,047 --> 00:04:09,583
‐Stand back! He's lunging at us!
‐NADJA: Oh!
‐Not that I know of.

108
00:04:09,616 --> 00:04:12,553
‐My bathroom bucket's full,
needs to be emptied.
‐NANDOR: Eesh.

109
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:15,389
‐Okay. Maybe one
of you big, strong men...
‐I'll do it. I'll do it.

110
00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:19,159
I‐I think it's important
that I sift through the scat

111
00:04:19,193 --> 00:04:21,762
to see if he's sending out
any secret messages.

112
00:04:21,795 --> 00:04:23,230
‐LASZLO: Scat away.
‐NANDOR: Good thinking.

113
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,465
NADJA:
Um, so, here are your foods.

114
00:04:25,499 --> 00:04:26,667
‐(short chuckle)
‐Thank you, Nadja.

115
00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:30,137
‐You can just hand it to me.
I'm not...
‐Stay.

116
00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:32,539
‐...not gonna hurt you.
‐NANDOR: Nice job.

117
00:04:32,573 --> 00:04:35,175
Yay, more raw chicken.

118
00:04:35,209 --> 00:04:38,111
The prisoner will
slide his bucket of shame

119
00:04:38,145 --> 00:04:40,547
over to the sally port.

120
00:04:40,581 --> 00:04:43,083
And the prisoner
will be reminded

121
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:45,085
not to make
any sudden movements,

122
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:48,288
‐lest he get the prod.
‐I have a name.

123
00:04:48,322 --> 00:04:50,357
Just slide your shit bucket
over to sally's port.

124
00:04:50,390 --> 00:04:52,426
Thank you.

125
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,697
‐(Nadja retching)
‐NANDOR: Careful.

126
00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:59,166
‐GUILLERMO: There you go.
‐COLIN: Come to Mama.

127
00:04:59,199 --> 00:05:01,335
GUILLERMO:
This is ridiculous.
Can't you just let me out?

128
00:05:01,368 --> 00:05:04,204
‐You know I wouldn't hurt you.
‐LASZLO: Bullshit.
Please remember

129
00:05:04,238 --> 00:05:06,540
that this man
is a vampire killer.

130
00:05:06,573 --> 00:05:09,142
I was protecting you!
I saved your lives!

131
00:05:09,176 --> 00:05:11,478
Yes, and we have taken that
into consideration.

132
00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:14,381
But we are still
in discussions about

133
00:05:14,414 --> 00:05:16,250
what your fate is going to be.

134
00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:18,685
Oh, okay. And may I ask
how far along you are

135
00:05:18,719 --> 00:05:21,555
‐in these discussions?
Or is it one of those things
‐LASZLO: No.

136
00:05:21,588 --> 00:05:23,323
where you just linger
and argue with each other

137
00:05:23,357 --> 00:05:24,658
'cause you don't have
a Guillermo next to you

138
00:05:24,691 --> 00:05:26,527
to solve all of your problems?

139
00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:28,295
‐This fucking guy.
‐Insolent!
‐You need to prod him.

140
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:31,265
Hey, hey, hey!
The prisoner will be reminded

141
00:05:31,298 --> 00:05:34,501
to treat his captors
with respect

142
00:05:34,535 --> 00:05:36,370
‐and kindness.
‐Yes.

143
00:05:36,403 --> 00:05:38,405
‐Or he'll taste
the wrath of my...
‐NANDOR: Do it.

144
00:05:38,438 --> 00:05:40,707
‐GUILLERMO:
Don't touch the metal.
‐Prod. Ow!

145
00:05:40,741 --> 00:05:43,143
‐Shit!
‐NANDOR: Ay, shit.

146
00:05:43,177 --> 00:05:45,245
‐You okay?
‐No!
‐LASZLO: Let's go.

147
00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:46,680
We've lingered here long enough.

148
00:05:46,713 --> 00:05:48,615
He'll just do
his mind magic on us.

149
00:05:48,649 --> 00:05:51,051
‐What?
‐That's probably what he's doing
with my cattle prod.

150
00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:53,120
‐GUILLERMO: No, don't touch
that end, Colin Rob...
‐Ow!

151
00:05:53,153 --> 00:05:55,789
‐NANDOR: Ay, fuck.
‐Shit! That one was on me.

152
00:05:55,822 --> 00:05:58,125
‐Not giving you credit
for that one.
‐GUILLERMO: I don't want credit.

153
00:05:58,158 --> 00:06:00,994
We will make a judgement
about your future shortly.

154
00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:02,362
And who's gonna
protect you, huh?

155
00:06:02,396 --> 00:06:04,064
I'm not asking

156
00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:05,566
for any kind
of special treatment!

157
00:06:05,599 --> 00:06:08,068
I'm just want to protect you
from yourselves!

158
00:06:08,101 --> 00:06:09,369
Laszlo. Laszlo?

159
00:06:09,403 --> 00:06:11,672
‐No, Laszlo...
‐(electricity buzzing)

160
00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,106
COLIN:
Ow, Fuck!

161
00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:18,278
Okay, so, day 30
of imprisonment.

162
00:06:18,312 --> 00:06:20,380
Not bad, actually.

163
00:06:20,414 --> 00:06:22,516
I get pretty good Wi‐Fi
down here, so I've been able

164
00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:24,585
to rewatch some of my favorites.

165
00:06:24,618 --> 00:06:26,787
Did another round
of Gilmore Girls. (chuckles)

166
00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:29,156
I can show you around
if you want, give you a tour.

167
00:06:29,189 --> 00:06:32,125
Here, this is my bed.

168
00:06:32,159 --> 00:06:33,594
Here's my mini fridge.

169
00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:37,064
And there's the chicken
they think I eat raw.

170
00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:39,333
And some Yoo‐hoos.

171
00:06:39,366 --> 00:06:43,170
And that is where I, um... yeah.

172
00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:45,405
Without me, the vampires
don't know what they're doing.

173
00:06:45,439 --> 00:06:47,541
Like, literally they can't
do anything without me.

174
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:49,176
They can't even
imprison someone.

175
00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:50,477
You want to see something cool?

176
00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:53,747
Here's a little secret.

177
00:06:58,318 --> 00:07:00,020
What I've been doing
is I've been

178
00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:02,489
sneaking out
when they go into slumber.

179
00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:04,758
Colin Robinson heads out
to work by 9:45,

180
00:07:04,791 --> 00:07:07,127
so I'm up by then.

181
00:07:08,495 --> 00:07:10,330
I've been coming up here
and doing all the things

182
00:07:10,364 --> 00:07:12,232
that need to be done
to keep the house functioning.

183
00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:14,468
♪ ♪

184
00:07:15,335 --> 00:07:16,770
Of course
they don't notice, because

185
00:07:16,803 --> 00:07:18,372
they just think
it happens automatically.

186
00:07:18,405 --> 00:07:20,240
It doesn't.

187
00:07:20,274 --> 00:07:22,209
I do it.

188
00:07:22,242 --> 00:07:24,211
Heads up.

189
00:07:25,245 --> 00:07:27,147
I mean, I should
really just consider

190
00:07:27,181 --> 00:07:28,182
escaping,

191
00:07:28,215 --> 00:07:29,683
And leaving.

192
00:07:29,716 --> 00:07:31,451
And never coming back.

193
00:07:32,419 --> 00:07:34,354
Especially
'cause they're considering

194
00:07:34,388 --> 00:07:36,023
you know, killing me.
(laughs)

195
00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:37,624
‐Thank you.
‐But I just wonder what

196
00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:39,660
would happen if I wasn't here
to help them out.

197
00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:41,528
They're like family.

198
00:07:41,562 --> 00:07:42,729
I know‐‐

199
00:07:42,763 --> 00:07:44,398
codependent much?
(short chuckle)

200
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:51,104
(crows cawing)

201
00:07:54,552 --> 00:07:56,321
NADJA:
Look, I, too have developed

202
00:07:56,354 --> 00:07:57,856
a small seed of affection

203
00:07:57,889 --> 00:08:00,191
for Guillermo,
but the vampire code stands.

204
00:08:00,225 --> 00:08:02,394
He killed vampires,
therefore he must be killed.

205
00:08:02,427 --> 00:08:04,362
NANDOR:
What about the warrior's code?

206
00:08:04,396 --> 00:08:06,598
A man who saves your life
in battle should be owed

207
00:08:06,631 --> 00:08:09,167
a debt of eternal
gratitude and mercy.

208
00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:11,536
Ah, yeah, the, uh,
perennial conundrum between

209
00:08:11,570 --> 00:08:14,506
‐the warrior code
and the vampire code...
‐(thud)

210
00:08:14,539 --> 00:08:16,474
What... Uh, whoa, whoa,
whoa, what was that?

211
00:08:16,508 --> 00:08:18,743
NADJA:
Oh, you know what, it's probably
one of the black birds

212
00:08:18,777 --> 00:08:20,278
that's been
gathering outside lately.

213
00:08:37,329 --> 00:08:39,297
(Nandor grunts)

214
00:08:39,331 --> 00:08:40,699
(sighs)

215
00:08:40,732 --> 00:08:42,634
How you holding up?

216
00:08:42,667 --> 00:08:45,170
Yeah, comme ci, comme ça.

217
00:08:45,203 --> 00:08:47,105
I don't know what that means.

218
00:08:47,138 --> 00:08:50,175
So... has there been any updates

219
00:08:50,208 --> 00:08:52,677
‐on... my fate?
‐No.

220
00:08:52,711 --> 00:08:55,146
It's really looking like we're
going to end up killing you.

221
00:08:55,180 --> 00:08:57,415
Well...

222
00:08:57,449 --> 00:08:59,584
‐I'm a soldier.
‐Yes.

223
00:08:59,618 --> 00:09:02,087
Not a great warrior
like you, of course, but...

224
00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:04,422
‐Oh, thank you.
‐...a soldier nonetheless.

225
00:09:04,456 --> 00:09:06,124
Who saved your life.

226
00:09:06,157 --> 00:09:07,692
And would do it again
in a heartbeat.

227
00:09:08,827 --> 00:09:10,729
'Cause that's
the code I live by.

228
00:09:10,762 --> 00:09:12,597
The code of the warrior.

229
00:09:14,399 --> 00:09:16,201
Yes.

230
00:09:16,234 --> 00:09:17,869
This is what I've been
trying to tell them.

231
00:09:17,903 --> 00:09:19,437
You are?

232
00:09:19,471 --> 00:09:21,473
There's a code
amongst warriors.

233
00:09:21,506 --> 00:09:23,275
‐The warriors code.
‐Yes.

234
00:09:23,308 --> 00:09:27,145
Sadly, I am but a lone voice
crying out in the...

235
00:09:27,178 --> 00:09:28,546
wilderness.

236
00:09:28,580 --> 00:09:31,383
(grunts)

237
00:09:31,416 --> 00:09:33,618
Ow.
Fucking splinter in my foot.

238
00:09:33,652 --> 00:09:35,387
Which reminds me.

239
00:09:35,420 --> 00:09:37,589
I brought you your dinner.

240
00:09:37,622 --> 00:09:40,191
‐The chicken.
‐Yes.

241
00:09:40,225 --> 00:09:42,494
I let it warm up to room
temperature for a few days.

242
00:09:42,527 --> 00:09:43,762
Oh... mm.

243
00:09:43,795 --> 00:09:46,097
‐I'll leave the light on.
‐Thank you.

244
00:09:46,131 --> 00:09:47,465
(door closes)

245
00:09:48,433 --> 00:09:50,869
(cawing)

246
00:09:50,902 --> 00:09:53,305
(phone chiming)

247
00:09:53,338 --> 00:09:55,307
I put these security cameras
everywhere just to make sure

248
00:09:55,340 --> 00:09:57,075
the vampires are safe.

249
00:09:57,108 --> 00:09:59,077
Usually, the only alerts
I get are when raccoons get into

250
00:09:59,110 --> 00:10:01,346
the trash cans or Laszlo
goes out to the potting shed

251
00:10:01,379 --> 00:10:03,782
in the back yard
to, uh, whack off.

252
00:10:03,815 --> 00:10:05,817
But...

253
00:10:09,421 --> 00:10:10,488
What the hell?

254
00:10:19,197 --> 00:10:21,099
And you're comfortable
slumbering in your coffin

255
00:10:21,132 --> 00:10:23,568
knowing that bloody Guillermo's
poncing around the house?

256
00:10:23,602 --> 00:10:26,171
We could get locks
for our coffins‐‐ inside locks.

257
00:10:26,204 --> 00:10:28,073
Does such a thing even exist?

258
00:10:28,106 --> 00:10:29,708
LASZLO:
I can't even slumber
knowing he's downstairs

259
00:10:29,741 --> 00:10:31,810
in that basement,
so I've been...

260
00:10:31,843 --> 00:10:34,079
busy in my potting shed.

261
00:10:34,112 --> 00:10:36,081
Well, I've continued

262
00:10:36,114 --> 00:10:38,817
to sift through
his stinky pickles

263
00:10:38,850 --> 00:10:41,653
from his toilet bucket,
and I can confirm

264
00:10:41,686 --> 00:10:44,489
he's not smuggling out
any secret messages.

265
00:10:44,522 --> 00:10:46,258
Good work, Colin Robinson.
(clears throat)

266
00:10:46,291 --> 00:10:48,727
But I will continue
to sift through it

267
00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:50,829
on a daily basis in...

268
00:10:50,862 --> 00:10:52,631
‐The...
‐What?

269
00:10:52,897 --> 00:10:55,133
(all gasping, whimpering)

270
00:10:57,302 --> 00:10:59,137
Stand back!

271
00:10:59,170 --> 00:11:01,506
(all exclaiming)

272
00:11:03,541 --> 00:11:06,444
NADJA:
Laszlo, get down!

273
00:11:06,478 --> 00:11:08,213
Ooh!
What the heck?!

274
00:11:08,246 --> 00:11:09,748
You hit me with a stake!

275
00:11:09,781 --> 00:11:11,616
Stand back!
She's trying to kill all of you.

276
00:11:11,650 --> 00:11:13,518
See, this is what I'm talking
about. He's a good soldier.

277
00:11:13,551 --> 00:11:16,521
‐He's gonna kill us all!
‐I'm not trying to kill anyone.

278
00:11:16,554 --> 00:11:18,156
‐I'm not trying to kill anyone,
either... except for you!
‐GUIDE: Great.

279
00:11:18,189 --> 00:11:19,724
‐Whoa.
‐NANDOR: Good catch.

280
00:11:19,758 --> 00:11:20,725
Thank you.

281
00:11:20,759 --> 00:11:22,360
Chillax, familiar.

282
00:11:22,394 --> 00:11:24,229
We get it:
you're a vampire‐killer,

283
00:11:24,262 --> 00:11:26,665
with the stakes and the reflexes
and all that‐‐ great job.

284
00:11:26,698 --> 00:11:28,400
‐(claps)
‐Yay. Now,

285
00:11:28,433 --> 00:11:29,768
‐may I speak?
‐LASZLO: You may speak,

286
00:11:29,801 --> 00:11:31,703
dark shade, but, remember,

287
00:11:31,736 --> 00:11:33,538
no bullshit from thy mouth.

288
00:11:33,572 --> 00:11:35,106
COLIN:
But before you speak,

289
00:11:35,140 --> 00:11:37,208
how did the prisoner
get out of his cage?

290
00:11:37,242 --> 00:11:40,111
‐I'll tell you later.
‐Okay, but what about
your poop bucket?

291
00:11:40,145 --> 00:11:43,214
I mean, is it empty, half‐empty,
mostly liquid,

292
00:11:43,248 --> 00:11:44,649
or are there some Lincoln Logs
in there for me?

293
00:11:44,683 --> 00:11:45,817
‐Okay.
‐GUIDE: Listen, everyone,

294
00:11:45,850 --> 00:11:47,552
I didn't mean to alarm you,

295
00:11:47,586 --> 00:11:48,853
but we haven't heard from you.

296
00:11:48,887 --> 00:11:52,123
We sent 87 ravens
to summon you...

297
00:11:52,157 --> 00:11:54,159
which is a big deal
for our budget.

298
00:11:54,192 --> 00:11:55,727
‐Oh, that makes sense‐‐
all the ravens.
‐(overlapping muttering)

299
00:11:55,760 --> 00:11:57,295
Okay.
So you did see them,

300
00:11:57,329 --> 00:11:58,830
and you did nothing,
just like last time?

301
00:11:58,863 --> 00:12:02,133
Well, maybe you could
try using the telephone?

302
00:12:02,167 --> 00:12:03,535
We did try the telephone.

303
00:12:03,568 --> 00:12:05,370
It is Guillermo's job
to answer the telephone.

304
00:12:05,403 --> 00:12:07,339
I'm sorry, but why did you not
answer the telephone?

305
00:12:07,372 --> 00:12:09,140
Because you had me in a cage
in the basement!

306
00:12:09,174 --> 00:12:11,176
Always an excuse
with this wise guy.

307
00:12:11,209 --> 00:12:13,545
GUIDE:
All right, on to
the business at hand.

308
00:12:13,578 --> 00:12:16,681
I come to you
with a personal message

309
00:12:16,715 --> 00:12:20,385
from the Supreme Worldwide
Vampiric Council.

310
00:12:21,786 --> 00:12:24,522
‐Oh, shit.
‐Yes, the council that rules

311
00:12:24,556 --> 00:12:26,258
over all other councils.

312
00:12:26,291 --> 00:12:29,261
Now, do you have a VCR?

313
00:12:29,294 --> 00:12:31,329
‐A what?
‐How are you spelling that?

314
00:12:31,363 --> 00:12:33,398
V‐C‐R.

315
00:12:33,431 --> 00:12:34,566
‐"Visar."
‐No.

316
00:12:39,237 --> 00:12:40,472
‐Is this really necessary?
‐NANDOR: Yes, it is.

317
00:12:40,505 --> 00:12:42,340
GUIDE:
Vampires all, draw ye near

318
00:12:42,374 --> 00:12:44,075
that ye may receive the message

319
00:12:44,109 --> 00:12:45,644
from the Supreme Worldwide
Vampiric Council.

320
00:12:45,677 --> 00:12:47,212
(whispers):
Now press play.

321
00:12:47,245 --> 00:12:49,848
GUILLERMO:
That's rewind. That's pause.

322
00:12:49,881 --> 00:12:51,516
‐I'm pressing it.
‐COLIN: The Voice
is on in a little bit‐‐

323
00:12:51,549 --> 00:12:52,751
‐can we, uh...
‐NANDOR: Careful.
‐Ugh.

324
00:12:52,784 --> 00:12:54,419
Play.

325
00:12:54,452 --> 00:12:57,289
♪ ♪

326
00:12:57,322 --> 00:12:58,723
Hi.

327
00:12:59,858 --> 00:13:01,626
‐Nandor the Relentless,
‐NANDOR: Yes?

328
00:13:01,660 --> 00:13:04,095
‐Nadja of Antipaxos,
‐NADJA: Oh!

329
00:13:04,129 --> 00:13:08,566
Leslie "Laszlo" Cravensworth
and Colin Rubenstein,

330
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:10,068
I applaud you.

331
00:13:11,503 --> 00:13:13,838
Congratulations. With the help
of your bloodthirsty minion,

332
00:13:13,872 --> 00:13:16,174
you have eliminated almost

333
00:13:16,207 --> 00:13:18,543
70% of the most
powerful vampires

334
00:13:18,577 --> 00:13:20,512
in the Tri‐State area.

335
00:13:20,545 --> 00:13:23,214
What?
He's here now?

336
00:13:23,248 --> 00:13:25,450
‐Right when I'm doing
this piece? Tell him to go
‐Is he being sarcastic?

337
00:13:25,483 --> 00:13:27,786
‐It does sound a little bit...
not sarcastic,
‐to my chambers and wait there.

338
00:13:27,819 --> 00:13:29,588
‐What's the other word
that sort of means "sarcastic"?
‐Okay, where was I?

339
00:13:29,621 --> 00:13:31,189
‐Ah, yes.
‐Begins with "F."

340
00:13:31,222 --> 00:13:33,625
Lest you think
I'm being facetious,

341
00:13:33,658 --> 00:13:34,693
‐That's the word.
‐I can assure you

342
00:13:34,726 --> 00:13:36,361
I am not.

343
00:13:36,394 --> 00:13:39,464
"Vampire must
never kill vampire."

344
00:13:39,497 --> 00:13:42,367
Is that not the thing
that we say all the time?

345
00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:44,736
‐We do. Uh... some of us do.
‐At dinner parties

346
00:13:44,769 --> 00:13:46,238
‐I do.
‐and at social gatherings,
we come and say,

347
00:13:46,271 --> 00:13:47,339
"Hey, how's it going, Jeffrey?

348
00:13:47,372 --> 00:13:49,507
Vampire shall not kill vampire,"

349
00:13:49,541 --> 00:13:52,611
just to remind ourselves
of that big law that we made

350
00:13:52,644 --> 00:13:53,778
many, many years ago.

351
00:13:53,812 --> 00:13:55,714
But when a vampire kills, like,

352
00:13:55,747 --> 00:13:58,783
37, 38 vampires?

353
00:13:58,817 --> 00:14:00,252
Well, these are vampires

354
00:14:00,285 --> 00:14:02,520
who know how to get things done.

355
00:14:02,554 --> 00:14:04,723
‐Oh, isn't he great?
‐(exclaiming)
‐So this is why

356
00:14:04,756 --> 00:14:06,591
I am pleased to announce that

357
00:14:06,625 --> 00:14:09,461
you four are hereby appointed

358
00:14:09,494 --> 00:14:10,829
‐to be the leaders
‐What the fuck?

359
00:14:10,862 --> 00:14:12,597
‐of the Vampiric Council
‐Oh!

360
00:14:12,631 --> 00:14:14,799
of the Eastern Seaboard
of the New World.

361
00:14:14,833 --> 00:14:16,468
‐GUIDE: Wow. That's sort of
‐Congratulations,

362
00:14:16,501 --> 00:14:18,436
‐a surprise even to me.
‐guys. Well done.

363
00:14:18,470 --> 00:14:20,171
‐NADJA: Very nice!
‐So, sit upon the throne
with pride.

364
00:14:20,205 --> 00:14:21,606
‐(squeals)
‐You are in charge now.

365
00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:24,476
We will be monitoring
your progress.

366
00:14:24,509 --> 00:14:28,113
And with that, I bid you adieu.

367
00:14:28,146 --> 00:14:29,481
‐Adieu to you.
‐Yeah, yeah.
‐NANDOR: A dude.

368
00:14:29,514 --> 00:14:31,416
‐FML.
‐Hell yeah.

369
00:14:31,449 --> 00:14:33,652
I love thrones‐‐
they're my favorite chair.

370
00:14:33,685 --> 00:14:35,320
It is a great honor.

371
00:14:35,353 --> 00:14:37,489
But, also, you know,
quite a responsibility.

372
00:14:37,522 --> 00:14:39,291
COLIN:
Well, I've been on the local

373
00:14:39,324 --> 00:14:41,559
Vampiric Council
for a few years now.

374
00:14:41,593 --> 00:14:44,329
Mainly at
an entry‐level position.

375
00:14:44,362 --> 00:14:46,298
I... Well, what can I say?

376
00:14:46,331 --> 00:14:48,466
It's good to be the king.
(chuckles)

377
00:14:48,500 --> 00:14:50,568
Mel Brooks,
History of the World: Part I.

378
00:14:50,602 --> 00:14:52,270
LASZLO:
I didn't become a vampire

379
00:14:52,304 --> 00:14:54,239
to end up
a pen‐pushing bureaucrat.

380
00:14:54,272 --> 00:14:57,676
I became a vampire to suck blood
and to fuck forever.

381
00:14:57,709 --> 00:15:01,413
‐But you must admit,
this is quite an honor.
‐I couldn't give a fuck.

382
00:15:01,446 --> 00:15:05,083
Push the stop button.
It is the record button.

383
00:15:05,116 --> 00:15:06,585
‐GUILLERMO:
Should I turn it off?
‐Who is he talking to?

384
00:15:06,618 --> 00:15:08,119
‐GUIDE: Just turn it off.
‐The red one.

385
00:15:08,153 --> 00:15:09,721
I have done the bidding
for countless

386
00:15:09,754 --> 00:15:12,557
fearsome and legendary councils.

387
00:15:12,591 --> 00:15:14,259
Lords and lady,

388
00:15:14,292 --> 00:15:17,395
I have assisted every local

389
00:15:17,429 --> 00:15:20,165
Vampiric Council since 1759.

390
00:15:20,198 --> 00:15:21,533
The best of the best.

391
00:15:21,566 --> 00:15:25,070
I now stand charged
with assisting you.

392
00:15:25,103 --> 00:15:26,605
‐Nice.
‐All right.

393
00:15:26,638 --> 00:15:29,074
And now we have these guys.

394
00:15:29,107 --> 00:15:31,176
Which is...

395
00:15:31,209 --> 00:15:33,645
whatever, you know,
it's above my pay grade.

396
00:15:33,678 --> 00:15:35,480
NADJA:
You know, it isn't
just an honor.

397
00:15:35,513 --> 00:15:37,249
It is also a nine‐to‐five.

398
00:15:37,282 --> 00:15:40,085
You know, full‐time working job.
I'm a working woman.

399
00:15:40,118 --> 00:15:43,555
This is now a documentary
about Vampire Council leaders.

400
00:15:43,588 --> 00:15:46,358
I will take you upon tomorrow's
eve to Vampiric Council

401
00:15:46,391 --> 00:15:48,793
headquarters so that
you may assume the throne.

402
00:15:48,827 --> 00:15:50,862
Once the leader of men.

403
00:15:50,895 --> 00:15:53,465
Now a leader of vampires.

404
00:15:53,498 --> 00:15:56,334
But one matter still remains:

405
00:15:56,368 --> 00:15:59,037
what to do about Guillermo?

406
00:16:00,805 --> 00:16:03,108
‐Do you have to chain me?
‐Uh, no.

407
00:16:03,141 --> 00:16:04,442
Then why did you do it?

408
00:16:04,476 --> 00:16:05,610
Well, seemed kind of fun.

409
00:16:05,644 --> 00:16:06,811
All right, get in there.

410
00:16:06,845 --> 00:16:09,381
Kneel before your masters, fool.

411
00:16:09,414 --> 00:16:10,615
I will not kneel.

412
00:16:10,649 --> 00:16:13,118
All right, then. Shit.

413
00:16:13,151 --> 00:16:15,520
Who‐who took the batteries
out of my proddy?

414
00:16:15,553 --> 00:16:18,089
‐Just let him stand there,
Colin Robinson.
‐We all agreed

415
00:16:18,123 --> 00:16:20,692
‐I could prod him one more time.
‐Yeah, yeah, well, you tried,
and nothing happened.

416
00:16:20,725 --> 00:16:22,327
We have a lot to get through
this evening.

417
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:24,863
(clears throat)
Guillermo...

418
00:16:24,896 --> 00:16:27,432
de la... eh...

419
00:16:27,465 --> 00:16:28,733
What is it again?

420
00:16:28,767 --> 00:16:30,769
‐Um, Greenberg?
‐De la Cruz.

421
00:16:30,802 --> 00:16:32,837
‐Oh.
‐We have come to a final

422
00:16:32,871 --> 00:16:35,106
decision regarding your fate.

423
00:16:35,140 --> 00:16:38,209
All those in favor of revealing
this decision, say aye!

424
00:16:38,243 --> 00:16:39,444
ALL:
Aye!

425
00:16:39,477 --> 00:16:40,579
It's unanimous.

426
00:16:40,612 --> 00:16:43,481
In the case of Guillermo
Greenberg

427
00:16:43,515 --> 00:16:44,849
‐de la Cruz
‐Not my name.

428
00:16:44,883 --> 00:16:48,186
in the killing
of many, many vampires,

429
00:16:48,219 --> 00:16:51,323
we have come to a final decision
regarding your fate.

430
00:16:51,356 --> 00:16:53,158
We have decided...

431
00:16:54,392 --> 00:16:56,861
‐Drum roll.
‐Thank you.

432
00:16:56,895 --> 00:16:58,663
(Nadja imitates cymbal crash)

433
00:17:00,131 --> 00:17:01,499
...not to kill you.

434
00:17:01,533 --> 00:17:02,767
NADJA:
At least not right now

435
00:17:02,801 --> 00:17:03,735
and not for
this particular thing,

436
00:17:03,768 --> 00:17:05,503
but my eyes are on you.

437
00:17:05,537 --> 00:17:07,239
You were shitting yourself there
for a second, weren't you?

438
00:17:07,272 --> 00:17:09,274
‐Little bit.
‐In fact,
for our own protection,

439
00:17:09,307 --> 00:17:11,076
we have decided

440
00:17:11,109 --> 00:17:13,612
to make you a fully‐fledged
member of the team.

441
00:17:13,645 --> 00:17:15,146
What?

442
00:17:16,181 --> 00:17:17,749
You're gonna make me a vampire.

443
00:17:17,782 --> 00:17:19,351
‐Course we're fucking not,
‐What?

444
00:17:19,384 --> 00:17:20,652
‐you idiot.
‐Fucking kidding me. (laughs)

445
00:17:20,685 --> 00:17:22,220
NANDOR:
No, we're gonna do something

446
00:17:22,254 --> 00:17:23,555
much better than that.

447
00:17:23,588 --> 00:17:25,156
Do you want to do
another drum roll or...

448
00:17:25,190 --> 00:17:26,424
‐I don't think drum roll's...
‐NADJA: No. I...

449
00:17:26,458 --> 00:17:28,460
‐That is it.
‐We are gonna make you

450
00:17:28,493 --> 00:17:30,562
a vampires'...

451
00:17:30,595 --> 00:17:32,364
‐bodyguard.
‐Ah!

452
00:17:32,397 --> 00:17:33,865
‐Hmm.
‐NANDOR: Exciting.

453
00:17:33,898 --> 00:17:35,834
Not... not really
what "a fully‐fledged

454
00:17:35,867 --> 00:17:37,769
‐member of the group"
kind of person...
‐NADJA: Well, excuse me,

455
00:17:37,802 --> 00:17:40,171
it's a big bloody step up
from being a familiar,

456
00:17:40,205 --> 00:17:41,840
and it's way better
than being dead,

457
00:17:41,873 --> 00:17:44,142
‐so you gonna
take it or leave it?
‐Take it.

458
00:17:44,175 --> 00:17:46,511
‐Okay. I'll take it.
‐NANDOR: Okay, good.

459
00:17:46,544 --> 00:17:49,281
All those in favor of accepting
his acceptance, say aye!

460
00:17:49,314 --> 00:17:51,216
ALL:
Aye!

461
00:17:51,249 --> 00:17:53,418
Okay. Great. Unanimous...
Uh, tut, tut, tut...

462
00:17:53,451 --> 00:17:55,620
Before you remove the chains,

463
00:17:55,654 --> 00:17:58,189
there's just, uh, another thing
that you will have to do

464
00:17:58,223 --> 00:18:00,258
for it to be,
you know, finalized.

465
00:18:00,292 --> 00:18:02,627
This thing, it might, uh...

466
00:18:02,661 --> 00:18:04,796
might be a little bit dangerous.
For you.

467
00:18:04,829 --> 00:18:06,197
Vampiric hypnosis

468
00:18:06,231 --> 00:18:08,700
is a very powerful tool,

469
00:18:08,733 --> 00:18:10,869
which, if improperly used

470
00:18:10,902 --> 00:18:13,572
by the hypnotizer,
can really mess up the mind

471
00:18:13,605 --> 00:18:15,140
of the hypnotizee.

472
00:18:15,173 --> 00:18:16,341
NADJA:
And the twice‐as‐powerful

473
00:18:16,374 --> 00:18:17,709
double hypnosis can lead

474
00:18:17,742 --> 00:18:19,544
to weak brain or, even worse,

475
00:18:19,578 --> 00:18:21,179
the thoughtless Sallies.

476
00:18:21,212 --> 00:18:23,281
And if things
go very, very tits‐up,

477
00:18:23,315 --> 00:18:26,251
you end up with full‐blown
brain scramblies.

478
00:18:26,284 --> 00:18:28,153
LASZLO:
As we both know, my darling,

479
00:18:28,186 --> 00:18:30,221
from experience,
but take that up a notch.

480
00:18:30,255 --> 00:18:31,456
to a three‐way hypnosis,

481
00:18:31,489 --> 00:18:33,124
well, then you might be

482
00:18:33,158 --> 00:18:35,360
faced with
the purple screaming Henries.

483
00:18:35,393 --> 00:18:37,128
Or worse still...

484
00:18:37,162 --> 00:18:39,230
half‐man, half‐madness.

485
00:18:39,264 --> 00:18:41,166
NANDOR:
But desperate times

486
00:18:41,199 --> 00:18:43,268
call for desperate measures.

487
00:18:43,301 --> 00:18:44,803
So, a four‐way hypnosis?

488
00:18:44,836 --> 00:18:46,538
NADJA:
Yes, and we've actually

489
00:18:46,571 --> 00:18:48,607
never ever done
one of those before, so...

490
00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:50,809
LASZLO:
Yeah, and the odds against
you being normal afterwards

491
00:18:50,842 --> 00:18:54,179
‐are pretty fucking low.
‐Do you think I can have
a minute to think about it?

492
00:18:54,212 --> 00:18:56,548
The prisoner needs
a moment to think about it.

493
00:18:56,581 --> 00:18:59,284
It's okay.
I thought about it.

494
00:18:59,317 --> 00:19:01,386
He's thunk about it.

495
00:19:01,419 --> 00:19:03,722
Okay.
And I agree.

496
00:19:03,755 --> 00:19:05,557
‐Great.
‐Yeah, being alone
in that cell

497
00:19:05,590 --> 00:19:07,492
down there
gives you a lot of time.

498
00:19:07,525 --> 00:19:10,228
‐Mm.
‐And you guys‐‐
you're like my family.

499
00:19:10,262 --> 00:19:12,597
It's okay, you don't have
to give us your life story.

500
00:19:12,631 --> 00:19:14,499
‐We get it. Should we, uh...
‐LASZLO: Yeah.

501
00:19:14,532 --> 00:19:16,101
Assume the position.

502
00:19:16,134 --> 00:19:17,502
What position would that be?

503
00:19:17,535 --> 00:19:19,137
I haven't got a fucking clue.
What is it?

504
00:19:19,170 --> 00:19:20,739
Uh, stand there,
we'll come to you.

505
00:19:20,772 --> 00:19:22,274
‐Yes.
‐Good idea.

506
00:19:22,307 --> 00:19:25,243
‐(Nandor clears throat)
‐(all vocalizing)

507
00:19:25,277 --> 00:19:26,578
NANDOR:
Quadruple hypnosis.

508
00:19:26,611 --> 00:19:28,280
ALL:
Guillermo...

509
00:19:28,313 --> 00:19:31,483
Greenberg de la Cruz,

510
00:19:31,516 --> 00:19:34,286
you will now find yourself

511
00:19:34,319 --> 00:19:36,288
in a trance‐like state.

512
00:19:36,321 --> 00:19:37,689
GUILLERMO:
Between you and I,

513
00:19:37,722 --> 00:19:40,759
vampire hypnosis
doesn't work on me anymore.

514
00:19:40,792 --> 00:19:42,160
I mean, it used to, years ago,

515
00:19:42,193 --> 00:19:43,561
when they first
started doing it.

516
00:19:43,595 --> 00:19:45,363
But I guess after a while,
my body just...

517
00:19:45,397 --> 00:19:47,299
got immune to it.

518
00:19:47,332 --> 00:19:51,136
ALL:
When you awaken, and for
the rest of your natural life,

519
00:19:51,169 --> 00:19:54,773
you will
in no way harm Nandor...

520
00:19:54,806 --> 00:19:57,142
GUILLERMO:
And they used to use it
on the stupidest things, too.

521
00:19:57,175 --> 00:19:58,376
Things I would've done anyways.

522
00:19:58,410 --> 00:19:59,644
Gizmo, stop doing that.

523
00:19:59,678 --> 00:20:00,845
Could you do me a small favor?

524
00:20:00,879 --> 00:20:02,614
Fetch me the book,

525
00:20:02,647 --> 00:20:05,216
which is next
to my father's ashes.

526
00:20:05,250 --> 00:20:06,851
Do it a bit quicker because

527
00:20:06,885 --> 00:20:09,087
you are interrupting
my magazine reading.

528
00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:13,224
Now go into the basement
and fetch my witch's skin hat.

529
00:20:13,258 --> 00:20:14,359
Don't you fucking dare.

530
00:20:14,392 --> 00:20:15,794
So, yeah.

531
00:20:15,827 --> 00:20:17,596
I just let them think
they can hypnotize me.

532
00:20:17,629 --> 00:20:19,764
Who's gonna know the difference?

533
00:20:19,798 --> 00:20:22,434
‐(all chanting)
‐Wait, wait, wait. Also...

534
00:20:22,467 --> 00:20:25,303
whenever Colin Robinson
says your name,

535
00:20:25,337 --> 00:20:28,406
you will meow like a kitty cat.

536
00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:30,175
The...

537
00:20:30,208 --> 00:20:31,710
ALL:
End.

538
00:20:31,743 --> 00:20:33,311
Colin Robinson, why did you
have to add that bit?

539
00:20:33,345 --> 00:20:35,480
It's for me, all right?!
For me!

540
00:20:35,513 --> 00:20:36,581
(exhales)

541
00:20:36,615 --> 00:20:39,317
Guillermo... awaken.

542
00:20:39,351 --> 00:20:40,785
(gasps)

543
00:20:40,819 --> 00:20:42,721
Is your brain fully operational?

544
00:20:42,754 --> 00:20:45,457
‐Yeah, I'm fine.
‐He's not fine.

545
00:20:45,490 --> 00:20:47,292
He's got that slack jaw,
half‐wit look.

546
00:20:47,325 --> 00:20:49,261
Guillermo, you will now

547
00:20:49,294 --> 00:20:51,730
take Colin Robinson's
peen and scrotum

548
00:20:51,763 --> 00:20:53,465
and crush it in your hand.

549
00:20:53,498 --> 00:20:54,633
‐What? No.
‐Good idea.

550
00:20:54,666 --> 00:20:55,800
LASZLO:
Yeah.

551
00:20:55,834 --> 00:20:57,269
NANDOR:
He's gonna do it.

552
00:20:57,302 --> 00:20:58,803
I'm afraid I can't, Master.

553
00:20:58,837 --> 00:21:00,839
As much as I would love to,

554
00:21:00,872 --> 00:21:03,074
something compels me not to.

555
00:21:03,108 --> 00:21:05,543
‐It worked! Yay!
‐It worked! (laughs)
‐Yeah, wait, wait, wait! No, no.

556
00:21:05,577 --> 00:21:07,679
‐NANDOR: Yes!
‐Hold on, hold on. Guillermo?

557
00:21:07,712 --> 00:21:09,714
‐Meow.
‐(laughing)

558
00:21:09,748 --> 00:21:11,416
It worked.

559
00:21:17,385 --> 00:21:19,888
NANDOR: This building. Eesh!

560
00:21:19,921 --> 00:21:22,390
Still sends shivers
through my bones.

561
00:21:22,424 --> 00:21:23,892
Last time we were here
we were sentenced

562
00:21:23,925 --> 00:21:25,427
to death
by the Vampiric Council.

563
00:21:25,460 --> 00:21:27,796
Had we not escaped
from this cack house...

564
00:21:27,829 --> 00:21:29,731
‐I saved them.
‐We saved them.

565
00:21:29,764 --> 00:21:31,800
Had we not escaped
from this fluorescent mausoleum,

566
00:21:31,833 --> 00:21:33,668
we'd be fucking dead.

567
00:21:33,702 --> 00:21:35,370
First... thank you.

568
00:21:35,403 --> 00:21:37,973
NANDOR:
Does anyone remember
how the elevator works?

569
00:21:38,006 --> 00:21:40,108
NADJA:
Nandor, just tell it
to take us to the dungeon.

570
00:21:40,142 --> 00:21:42,144
COLIN:
I think it's P3.

571
00:21:42,177 --> 00:21:44,212
(elevator bell dings)

572
00:21:46,948 --> 00:21:48,717
‐NANDOR: Oh.
‐GUIDE: This is
my favorite room.

573
00:21:48,750 --> 00:21:50,118
‐NANDOR: This is lovely.
‐LASZLO: Very nice.

574
00:21:50,152 --> 00:21:52,754
GUIDE:
And I'm sure you'll all remember

575
00:21:52,787 --> 00:21:54,322
‐the judgement chamber.
‐LASZLO: No.

576
00:21:54,356 --> 00:21:56,291
NANDOR:
How could we forget?

577
00:21:56,324 --> 00:21:59,127
Yes.
I remember it well.

578
00:21:59,161 --> 00:22:00,996
The last time
we were in this very room,

579
00:22:01,029 --> 00:22:03,331
we were sentenced to death
and Wesley Snipes

580
00:22:03,365 --> 00:22:06,001
‐was right over there
on a laptop.
‐GUIDE: Right.

581
00:22:06,034 --> 00:22:07,636
And now you're the ones
who will be

582
00:22:07,669 --> 00:22:09,337
sentencing other vampires
to death.

583
00:22:09,371 --> 00:22:10,972
‐Yes!
‐Yes.
‐GUIDE: Which

584
00:22:11,006 --> 00:22:12,674
doesn't really
make a lot of sense to me.

585
00:22:12,707 --> 00:22:15,076
(laughs) But, whatever,
above my pay grade.

586
00:22:15,110 --> 00:22:16,344
I am here to serve.

587
00:22:16,378 --> 00:22:17,779
Good for you.
That's great.

588
00:22:17,813 --> 00:22:19,748
NADJA:
Well, it's much bigger and

589
00:22:19,781 --> 00:22:21,683
‐more impressive
than I remember.
‐Yes.

590
00:22:21,716 --> 00:22:23,919
Feel a little bit
chilly willies, too.

591
00:22:23,952 --> 00:22:25,387
‐Oh.
‐NANDOR: It is a little cold.

592
00:22:25,420 --> 00:22:26,888
‐GUIDE: These are the wraiths.
‐Oh, great,

593
00:22:26,922 --> 00:22:28,657
I'm fucking freezing.

594
00:22:28,690 --> 00:22:30,058
‐Oh!
‐GUIDE: Do not fear them‐‐

595
00:22:30,091 --> 00:22:31,126
‐they are here to serve us.
‐Thank you.

596
00:22:31,159 --> 00:22:32,861
NANDOR:
Thanks a lot.

597
00:22:32,894 --> 00:22:34,329
Darling, it's almost
as soft as you are.

598
00:22:34,362 --> 00:22:36,064
LASZLO:
Mm, very nice.

599
00:22:36,097 --> 00:22:37,999
Are they gonna come back
with another one? 'Cause...

600
00:22:38,033 --> 00:22:39,801
Membership has its privileges.

601
00:22:39,835 --> 00:22:41,136
Clearly.

602
00:22:41,169 --> 00:22:43,705
Now, before we get
down to business...

603
00:22:43,738 --> 00:22:46,007
‐(snaps fingers)
‐(Nandor exclaims)

604
00:22:46,041 --> 00:22:47,409
‐Ooh, nice.
‐GUIDE: Which one of you

605
00:22:47,442 --> 00:22:49,945
will assume the Master's Throne?

606
00:22:49,978 --> 00:22:52,113
Is there not a throne
for all of us?

607
00:22:52,147 --> 00:22:55,283
(laughing)

608
00:22:56,451 --> 00:22:58,186
No!

609
00:22:58,220 --> 00:22:59,955
I just... I assumed, you know,
because there is more

610
00:22:59,988 --> 00:23:01,189
than one of us, there will be
more than one throne.

611
00:23:01,223 --> 00:23:02,924
‐This is it. Listen.
‐LASZLO: Oh.

612
00:23:02,958 --> 00:23:04,426
You're all
on the Vampiric Council,

613
00:23:04,459 --> 00:23:06,094
‐All of us?
‐But those... All four of you.

614
00:23:06,127 --> 00:23:08,763
But only one of you can be
the supreme leader.

615
00:23:08,797 --> 00:23:11,299
The one who rules
over all vampires.

616
00:23:11,333 --> 00:23:14,769
All vampires
in the local New York area.

617
00:23:14,803 --> 00:23:17,139
And also is the boss
over all the other members

618
00:23:17,172 --> 00:23:19,241
of the Council‐‐ only one.

619
00:23:19,274 --> 00:23:21,743
So who will be
the supreme leader

620
00:23:21,776 --> 00:23:23,044
who rules over all others?

621
00:23:23,078 --> 00:23:25,947
‐Um...
‐Fuck no.

622
00:23:25,981 --> 00:23:28,717
‐I'll do it.
‐I think I'm probably the best
one for it, probably I think...

623
00:23:28,750 --> 00:23:30,018
They're idiots.

624
00:23:30,051 --> 00:23:31,987
Haven't decided yet,
Colin Robinson!

625
00:23:32,020 --> 00:23:33,421
‐You will not take it!
‐We've to make
a decision together!

626
00:23:33,455 --> 00:23:36,791
♪ King of the nighttime world ♪

627
00:23:36,825 --> 00:23:40,162
♪ You're my headlight queen ♪

628
00:23:40,195 --> 00:23:44,099
♪ I'm the king
of the nighttime world ♪

629
00:23:44,132 --> 00:23:46,968
♪ Come live your secret dream ♪

630
00:23:47,002 --> 00:23:50,839
♪ I'm the king
of the nighttime world ♪

631
00:23:50,872 --> 00:23:53,875
♪ You're my headlight queen ♪

632
00:23:53,909 --> 00:23:56,945
♪ I'm the king
of the nighttime world ♪

633
00:23:56,978 --> 00:24:00,882
♪ I'm the king, now
come live your secret dreams ♪

634
00:24:00,916 --> 00:24:04,853
♪ I'm the king
of the nighttime world ♪

635
00:24:04,886 --> 00:24:08,123
♪ You're my headlight queen ♪

636
00:24:08,156 --> 00:24:12,427
♪ I'm the king
of the nighttime world. ♪

637
00:24:12,460 --> 00:24:18,633
Captioned by
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