1 00:00:06,965 --> 00:00:09,759 No. Naughty. Naughty! 2 00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:14,055 {\an8}Cravensworth's Monster has entered a remarkable new phase of development. 3 00:00:14,139 --> 00:00:15,098 {\an8}He's horny. 4 00:00:15,181 --> 00:00:16,182 No. 5 00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:19,686 For a creature entirely cobbled together with cadaver parts... 6 00:00:19,769 --> 00:00:21,271 Naughty boy. Down. Down, boy. 7 00:00:21,354 --> 00:00:23,940 - ...his drive to fornicate is phenomenal. - Okay, just make it quick then. 8 00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:25,817 Like I said, he's horny. 9 00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:28,820 So, we have decided this monster needs a bride. 10 00:00:28,903 --> 00:00:33,366 So, we've started building him a bride, but with the... 11 00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:36,161 And now he's going to town on himself again. 12 00:00:36,244 --> 00:00:38,329 Oh, fuck. Stay in the two shot, please. 13 00:00:38,413 --> 00:00:40,540 He... He's got his hand in the cookie jar! 14 00:00:40,623 --> 00:00:42,042 Stop fucking doing that. 15 00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:43,501 Now, where were we? 16 00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:44,586 Dude's horny. 17 00:00:48,256 --> 00:00:50,675 {\an8}♪ Don't sing if you want to live long ♪ 18 00:00:50,759 --> 00:00:53,178 {\an8}♪ They have no use for your song ♪ 19 00:00:53,845 --> 00:00:58,808 ♪You're dead, you're dead, you're dead You're dead and out of this world ♪ 20 00:01:00,351 --> 00:01:03,354 {\an8}♪ Now your hope and compassion is gone ♪ 21 00:01:03,438 --> 00:01:06,107 {\an8}♪You've sold out your dream to the world ♪ 22 00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:11,404 ♪ Stay dead, stay dead, stay dead You're dead and out of this world ♪ 23 00:01:22,207 --> 00:01:26,961 {\an8}Guillermo and I have decided to join forces to fight crime together. 24 00:01:27,045 --> 00:01:29,923 Technically, I have not agreed to that yet. 25 00:01:30,006 --> 00:01:33,968 {\an8}Do you not like the crime-fighting outfit I got you for your secret identity? 26 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:39,766 {\an8}Are you ready, Cowboy Kid? Then let's clean up this city. 27 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:41,976 Very nice. 28 00:01:42,060 --> 00:01:44,854 I don't think anyone's gonna be afraid of Kid Cowboy. 29 00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:46,940 They will when his partner shows up. 30 00:01:47,023 --> 00:01:48,650 And who are you supposed to be again? 31 00:01:48,733 --> 00:01:53,071 They call me "The Phantom Menace." 32 00:01:53,154 --> 00:01:54,155 No. 33 00:01:54,739 --> 00:01:55,824 That's already taken. 34 00:01:55,907 --> 00:01:56,950 Shit. 35 00:01:57,033 --> 00:02:01,579 We will track down evildoers from our secret underground lair. 36 00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:07,293 Wow. Look at that. Where-Where exactly is this lair? 37 00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:12,298 Deep, deep under the ground, like, a thousand feet down under the house. 38 00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:13,216 Uh-huh. 39 00:02:13,299 --> 00:02:15,635 Now, there will be a secret lever on my coffin. 40 00:02:15,718 --> 00:02:21,683 When I pull it, the floor opens up and the coffin goes down like an elevator. 41 00:02:22,725 --> 00:02:23,852 That's cool. 42 00:02:23,935 --> 00:02:26,938 - Mmm. Thank you. - I don't think you need a lair though. 43 00:02:27,021 --> 00:02:29,357 And where am I supposed to put my "super compuder," hmm? 44 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:31,317 - Your what? - My "super compuder." 45 00:02:31,943 --> 00:02:34,070 The lair is really the best bet. 46 00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:36,364 Sounds fun, but I think I know how this ends up. 47 00:02:36,447 --> 00:02:38,158 This ends up with me doing all the work. 48 00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:40,076 It's gonna be equal partnership. 49 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,078 - How so? - You do some stuff. 50 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:43,121 - Got it. - I do some stuff. 51 00:02:43,204 --> 00:02:45,790 Great. Settled. 52 00:02:45,874 --> 00:02:48,543 Then if I am too busy, then you can do some of my stuff. 53 00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:50,670 There it is. 54 00:02:50,753 --> 00:02:55,175 We've assembled about 90% of the monster's bride-to-be, 55 00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:57,677 but once again we need the right head. 56 00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:00,638 Fortunately, the monster has shown us his preference. 57 00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:03,183 He's made it pretty obvious which way he swings. 58 00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:05,393 For you, milady. 59 00:03:05,476 --> 00:03:09,647 Right. It appears our monster has just torn off his own penis 60 00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:12,609 and presented it to The Guide as a gift. 61 00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:13,693 Again. 62 00:03:13,776 --> 00:03:17,113 This dude loves The Guide, but so does Nandor. 63 00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:21,576 And so, we've asked Nadja to see if he would mind if The Guide... you know. 64 00:03:21,659 --> 00:03:23,494 {\an8}Hmm, how do I put this? 65 00:03:23,578 --> 00:03:29,000 I mean, I do think that there is a part of The Guide that does love Nandor. 66 00:03:29,083 --> 00:03:33,004 So, how's about with the parts that don't love you, 67 00:03:33,087 --> 00:03:36,841 maybe we do something else with those? 68 00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:39,469 Sorry, what? What do you mean by that? 69 00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:42,263 We're hoping he won't object if The Guide 70 00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:46,184 donated her head for the creation of the bride of Cravensworth's Monster. 71 00:03:46,267 --> 00:03:47,602 And her... her... 72 00:03:47,685 --> 00:03:50,104 And her... boobs. 73 00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:51,606 I mean, most of her attributes and-- 74 00:03:51,689 --> 00:03:53,858 - They're saying we're done. - What's that? 75 00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:56,486 - I think we've got everything we need. - All right. 76 00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:57,862 - Absolutely. Good stuff. - Yeah. 77 00:03:58,404 --> 00:04:00,740 If you had to pick a part that you wanted-- 78 00:04:00,823 --> 00:04:02,992 Sorry, but we think we have all we need. 79 00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:04,786 - Sure. - Oh, okay, yeah. Um... 80 00:04:04,869 --> 00:04:05,745 No problemo. 81 00:04:05,828 --> 00:04:06,996 Take my mic off over there. 82 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,706 - Have a good one. - Cheers. 83 00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:10,416 Thank you. [chuckles] Thank you. 84 00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:11,876 There we go. 85 00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:16,297 Sorry. Excuse me. 86 00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,758 - Hey. - Wassup. 87 00:04:18,841 --> 00:04:23,638 What's going on? [pants] I just heard the crew saying the documentary's ending. 88 00:04:23,721 --> 00:04:26,307 - Like, what? - Well, it has been six years, Guillermo. 89 00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:27,850 They said they have enough footage now. 90 00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:30,270 But why? We're in the middle of everything and... 91 00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:32,105 That's it? Like, it's done? 92 00:04:32,188 --> 00:04:34,315 Well, you know, all good things must come to an end. 93 00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:37,235 - Preach. - Does anyone else feel a draft in here? 94 00:04:37,318 --> 00:04:38,361 I felt something. 95 00:04:38,444 --> 00:04:40,405 Okay, what are we doing? What's our game plan here? 96 00:04:40,488 --> 00:04:42,282 We could throw another log on the fireplace and-- 97 00:04:42,365 --> 00:04:43,533 No, not that. 98 00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:44,951 Or wrap ourselves up in a cozy quilt? 99 00:04:45,034 --> 00:04:47,495 No. You guys, don't you think it's weird that we've been doing this, 100 00:04:47,578 --> 00:04:48,788 and it's all of a sudden just ending? 101 00:04:48,871 --> 00:04:51,499 Just, poof, it's just done? It all ends? What? 102 00:04:51,582 --> 00:04:53,251 This is not the end of anything. 103 00:04:53,334 --> 00:04:55,420 We will keep doing what we always do. 104 00:04:55,503 --> 00:04:59,590 It's just these, um, camera microphone people will no longer be filming it. 105 00:04:59,674 --> 00:05:01,092 That's what I'm talking about. 106 00:05:01,175 --> 00:05:03,219 We've been doing this for so long. Like, years of our lives. 107 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:05,013 You guys don't think it's a little weird-- 108 00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:06,723 Laszlo! 109 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:10,977 Maybe not quite now. Guillermo clearly needs his diaper changing. 110 00:05:11,060 --> 00:05:12,228 I'm not wearing a diaper. 111 00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:15,315 It's just that it's so sudden. When were you gonna tell me, by the way? 112 00:05:15,398 --> 00:05:17,025 Were you gonna tell me? Am I the last person to know? 113 00:05:17,108 --> 00:05:18,735 All of a sudden it's just pfft. 114 00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:21,821 - It's hardly gone "pfft," Guillermo. - Okay. 115 00:05:21,904 --> 00:05:23,072 The crew will be filming for at least 116 00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:25,241 another couple of hours to get some B-rolls. 117 00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:27,785 - You're leaving in a couple of hours? - Yes, at sunrise. 118 00:05:27,869 --> 00:05:29,454 Ooh, ooh, ooh. That reminds me. 119 00:05:29,537 --> 00:05:32,832 Get some B-roll footage of me reading this big book. 120 00:05:32,915 --> 00:05:36,753 Uh, Guillermo, hello. Two hours is more than enough to finish anything 121 00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:38,838 you could possibly want to do for the cameras. 122 00:05:38,921 --> 00:05:40,757 You want to do a little show-and-tell for us? 123 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:43,301 Or maybe, uh, you could sing a little song. 124 00:05:43,384 --> 00:05:46,637 My lady wife's right. Sing a little song. Do a little dance. 125 00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:48,431 Yeah, and do a jig. Come on, jig. 126 00:05:48,514 --> 00:05:50,350 Come on, boy. Dance! 127 00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:52,143 It's hot in here. I'm gonna get fresh air. 128 00:05:52,226 --> 00:05:54,270 - You've got the best moves. - Do a dance! 129 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,898 - Dance! Dance! Dance! Dance! - Dance, boy. 130 00:05:56,981 --> 00:05:59,233 - Shake it. - Bye, bitch. 131 00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:02,028 - Nandor. A private moment, please. - Hmm? 132 00:06:02,111 --> 00:06:04,072 - Come on. - Excuse us 133 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,202 You need to go talk to Guillermo now. 134 00:06:09,285 --> 00:06:10,453 I was doing my B-roll! 135 00:06:10,536 --> 00:06:12,997 What about this, guys? Is this good for the edit? 136 00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:15,124 - Hmm. - Nandor! Listen to me! 137 00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:17,794 I have actually learned a lot about human psychology 138 00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:20,213 from doing my, uh, big Wall Street job. 139 00:06:20,296 --> 00:06:24,634 And I can tell that Guillermo is actually very sad about the documentary ending. 140 00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:26,719 Eh, he will get over it. 141 00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:27,804 Or maybe he won't. 142 00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:30,515 I guess we'll never know. Kidding. We will know. 143 00:06:30,598 --> 00:06:33,267 But you will not because you didn't bother filming it. 144 00:06:33,351 --> 00:06:34,394 Don't be rude. 145 00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:38,940 What about... Yes. Something like, uh... How's this? Is this anything? 146 00:06:39,023 --> 00:06:41,317 Nandor! I'm serious. 147 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:44,404 These last six years are the only slightly exciting thing 148 00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:47,198 to ever happen to Guillermo in his whole sad life. 149 00:06:47,281 --> 00:06:49,617 - What? - You know, it is like, the cameras 150 00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:50,868 pretending to film him. 151 00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:54,247 It made him feel like he was as important as we are. 152 00:06:54,330 --> 00:06:56,165 It's like when you put a little raincoat on a dog, 153 00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:57,667 and the dog is walking around thinking, 154 00:06:57,750 --> 00:07:01,254 "Oh, woof, woof. I'm like a little human. I've got a coat on." 155 00:07:01,337 --> 00:07:03,464 But they're not. They're just a little shit dog. 156 00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:06,843 That is Guillermo, and he's not going to have any of that anymore. 157 00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:11,013 But I'm sure something interesting will happen to Guillermo eventually. 158 00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:16,811 Fine. I will fix. 159 00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:20,148 How are you guys doing with this whole thing ending? 160 00:07:20,648 --> 00:07:23,401 Do you need to talk to someone? Or... 'Cause I'm here. 161 00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:28,781 There, there, buddy. 162 00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:32,952 Listen, you know I'm not the most sentimental SOB on the planet, 163 00:07:33,035 --> 00:07:35,705 but, uh, one time when I was down, 164 00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:40,543 a wise man said something that really put it all into perspective. 165 00:07:40,626 --> 00:07:41,711 What'd he say? 166 00:07:41,794 --> 00:07:47,341 Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened. 167 00:07:47,925 --> 00:07:50,678 I think I read that on a mug, but thank you. 168 00:07:50,761 --> 00:07:51,762 - That's very nice. - Sure. 169 00:07:51,846 --> 00:07:53,598 Knock-knock. Knock-knock, knocking. 170 00:07:53,681 --> 00:07:56,851 Colin Robinson, would you mind if I had a word with Guillermo? 171 00:07:56,934 --> 00:07:58,561 No, not at all. We're done. 172 00:07:59,061 --> 00:08:00,062 Thank you, Colin. 173 00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:01,772 Yeah, don't... don't hug me. 174 00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:06,277 Guillermo, I know that this is a big change for you. 175 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:09,113 But in life, we always go through big changes. 176 00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:13,784 For example, when I was a young boy, my favorite color was red. 177 00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:17,538 But now my favorite color is orange. 178 00:08:17,622 --> 00:08:20,333 - Sorry, just remembered one thing. - Yeah. 179 00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:23,836 It's not the number of breaths we take, 180 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:27,507 but the number of moments that take our breath away. 181 00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:29,383 That's nice. Thank you. 182 00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:30,468 All right. Later. 183 00:08:31,385 --> 00:08:33,137 Goodbyes are hard. 184 00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:34,347 Yeah. 185 00:08:34,430 --> 00:08:39,101 I once waved farewell to a departing train for over three hours, 186 00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:42,021 and then I realized that it wasn't a train at all. 187 00:08:42,104 --> 00:08:45,107 It was a flatbed truck full of port-a-potties. 188 00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:47,777 - One more quick one. - I'm talking here! 189 00:08:47,860 --> 00:08:50,321 "We laughed until we had to cry. 190 00:08:50,404 --> 00:08:55,201 We loved right down to our last goodbye. We were the best." 191 00:08:55,284 --> 00:08:59,163 St. Elmo's Fire, 1985. Okay, later. 192 00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:03,543 Guillermo, things end! 193 00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:05,336 And that hurts! 194 00:09:05,419 --> 00:09:06,587 It's just the suddenness of it all. 195 00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:08,965 It's hitting me so quickly, you know? I just have all these feelings-- 196 00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:11,050 - Uh, Guillermo, you're Irish, right? - No. 197 00:09:11,133 --> 00:09:13,052 Okay, great. Then you probably haven't heard this one. 198 00:09:13,135 --> 00:09:15,972 "May the road rise up to meet you. 199 00:09:16,055 --> 00:09:18,599 May the wind be always at your back. 200 00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:21,352 May the sun..." Fuck, I always forget this part. 201 00:09:21,435 --> 00:09:23,271 Yeah, why don't you think about it and come back? Or just not. 202 00:09:23,354 --> 00:09:24,814 All right. I'll leave you guys to it. 203 00:09:26,732 --> 00:09:29,485 Where was I? I can't even remember what the fuck I was saying. 204 00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:32,947 You were saying that... ...goodbyes are hard. 205 00:09:33,030 --> 00:09:35,741 Yes. So why don't you stop being a little bitch? 206 00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:39,704 Come downstairs and we can all be together during your hour of need. 207 00:09:39,787 --> 00:09:43,833 House meeting! House meeting! Oh, good. You are all here. 208 00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:44,834 - Excellent. - Excuse me. 209 00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:47,545 Uh... House meeting item number one. 210 00:09:47,628 --> 00:09:51,215 I want to talk about general hygiene in the cell. 211 00:09:51,299 --> 00:09:55,511 Please finish a whole victim first before moving on to the next one, okay? 212 00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:56,846 - Oh, yeah. That's nasty. - Copy that. 213 00:09:56,929 --> 00:09:59,098 - Shove it up your asshole. - Just do it. 214 00:09:59,181 --> 00:10:03,269 What else do we have here? Oh, yes. House meeting item number two. 215 00:10:03,352 --> 00:10:07,773 It has come to my attention that Guillermo has become very emotional 216 00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:09,775 because the documentary is ending. 217 00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:11,360 No, I'll be fine. Thank you. 218 00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:14,780 You're not fine, you're a blubbering mess. And I think we should discuss it. 219 00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:18,367 Gizmo has become addicted to the limelight, quite obviously. 220 00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:19,493 What? No, I haven't. 221 00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:22,204 He is but a walking shadow, a poor player, 222 00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:27,376 who struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more. 223 00:10:28,377 --> 00:10:30,671 Laszlo, that is so profound. 224 00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:33,257 Thank you very much. I just thought of it a second ago. 225 00:10:33,341 --> 00:10:35,718 You know what? One time I did see Guillermo take 226 00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:41,724 a little can of Pringles off the table of snacks that the documentary crew uses. 227 00:10:41,807 --> 00:10:45,895 So, maybe he's worried that he won't be able to steal food anymore. 228 00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:47,104 Not stealing. 229 00:10:47,188 --> 00:10:49,982 No, he's sad because he has to end his secret affair 230 00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:51,359 with Nate, the boom operator. 231 00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:53,277 - What? - Guillermo, you dirty dog. 232 00:10:53,361 --> 00:10:55,780 You know, another time I saw Guillermo take 233 00:10:55,863 --> 00:10:58,157 as many Tic Tacs as he could fit in his hands. 234 00:10:58,240 --> 00:10:59,075 Okay. 235 00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:01,786 You people know nothing about human psychologies. 236 00:11:01,869 --> 00:11:06,540 Guillermo is afraid that he has wasted 16 years of his life serving us 237 00:11:06,624 --> 00:11:08,542 and it has prevented him from growing 238 00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:10,294 - or changing in any way. - Good point. 239 00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:12,755 The ending of this documentary is giving him 240 00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:15,383 a preview of the ending of his own frail, human life. 241 00:11:15,466 --> 00:11:18,135 Does that sound right, Gizmo? Does that resonate? 242 00:11:18,219 --> 00:11:23,015 I think the question that Gizmo is asking himself is, "To be or not to be?" 243 00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:28,145 Because that is the question Gizmo is asking himself. 244 00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:29,271 So eloquent. 245 00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:30,690 Again, just off the top of my head. 246 00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:33,234 Just gonna circle back to what I was saying. 247 00:11:33,317 --> 00:11:36,612 Guillermo is very worried that he will feel equally as unfulfilled 248 00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,698 by his own life's journey and meaning. 249 00:11:38,781 --> 00:11:39,782 Be well, everyone. 250 00:11:39,865 --> 00:11:41,075 - It's not. - I know what it is. 251 00:11:41,158 --> 00:11:43,786 It's Greg, the A-camera operator, right? 252 00:11:43,869 --> 00:11:47,206 Is it Greg, the A-camera operator, that you've been secretly fucking? 253 00:11:47,289 --> 00:11:49,375 - No. - And does Nate, the boom operator, 254 00:11:49,458 --> 00:11:51,460 - know about this? - I'm not having affairs with anyone. 255 00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:55,047 Or is it Frank the grip that looks a lot like Nandor? 256 00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:58,592 - He doesn't look like me. - No, that's not it. No. No offense. 257 00:11:58,676 --> 00:12:00,177 You must get upset that things end, right? 258 00:12:00,261 --> 00:12:03,055 Wouldn't mind if this house meeting ended soon. 259 00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:04,682 So what if the documentary ends? 260 00:12:04,765 --> 00:12:07,977 Before you know it, a new documentary crew will come in 261 00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:09,979 and make a whole new documentary about us. 262 00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:12,231 Well, that seems highly unlikely. 263 00:12:12,314 --> 00:12:16,360 Excuse me. This is not even the first documentary that was made about us. 264 00:12:17,486 --> 00:12:18,696 What? 265 00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:23,617 {\an8}House meeting! House meeting! 266 00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:26,328 {\an8}Oh, good. You are all here. Excellent. 267 00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:29,749 Right. Uh, house meeting item number one. 268 00:12:29,832 --> 00:12:33,461 I want to talk about general hygiene in the cell. 269 00:12:33,544 --> 00:12:38,340 Please, please, please finish a whole victim before moving on to the next, okay? 270 00:12:39,341 --> 00:12:41,761 Well, I wouldn't have to keep saying it if we just did it. 271 00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:43,971 Jerry, yes. New business? 272 00:12:44,054 --> 00:12:46,182 Extremely old business. 273 00:12:46,265 --> 00:12:49,769 I really think we need to start making more progress conquering America. 274 00:12:49,852 --> 00:12:52,229 Um, hello? We have been making some progress. 275 00:12:52,313 --> 00:12:54,231 We've already got some of Ashley Street. 276 00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:55,775 Laszlo, are you hearing this? 277 00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:57,610 Yes, yes. Very good. Thank you! 278 00:12:57,693 --> 00:12:59,069 That's it. 279 00:12:59,153 --> 00:13:00,196 Wait, where are you going? 280 00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:02,990 I'll tell you where I'm going. I'm going into super-slumber. 281 00:13:03,073 --> 00:13:05,159 - He was always saying that. - 282 00:13:05,242 --> 00:13:08,204 The cheek on it! Laszlo! Hello? 283 00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:09,455 - Eureka! - What? 284 00:13:09,538 --> 00:13:13,751 I've got it! Now, if I increase the voltage to the diaphragm muscles, 285 00:13:13,834 --> 00:13:18,631 the heart should start beating of its own accord, much like this. 286 00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:22,718 Oh, fucking hell. 287 00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:24,136 Oh, Laszlo. 288 00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:27,932 Oh, hey. Big article here on the water main break. 289 00:13:28,015 --> 00:13:30,851 "That was the worst flood I've seen since the Great Flood 290 00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:35,648 of 1892, says local resident Nandor Lee, a dentist." 291 00:13:35,731 --> 00:13:37,566 Nandor, you fucking idiot! 292 00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,693 Now everyone's going to know that we are vampires, 293 00:13:39,777 --> 00:13:41,445 and that we've lived here for hundreds of years. 294 00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:43,531 Everyone grab their disguises. 295 00:13:43,614 --> 00:13:45,616 We've gotta hit the road before they come for us. 296 00:13:47,409 --> 00:13:49,411 Everybody, grab your go bags! 297 00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:54,250 No! This where we make our final sta... 298 00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:56,460 Oh, damn it! 299 00:13:56,544 --> 00:14:00,339 Maybe they don't think we are vampires. I just said that I'm a dentist. 300 00:14:00,422 --> 00:14:04,051 No, you idiot! You said "Nandor the Relentless." 301 00:14:04,134 --> 00:14:06,470 They thought you said "Nandor Lee, a dentist." 302 00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:07,471 Shit. 303 00:14:07,555 --> 00:14:09,765 Who the fuck are you? And how the fuck did you get in here? 304 00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:12,518 - And a pleasure to meet you, young lady. - Oh. 305 00:14:12,601 --> 00:14:15,563 My name's Daytona, Jackie Daytona. 306 00:14:15,646 --> 00:14:19,024 And I hail from Tucson. Tucson, "Arizonia." 307 00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:21,443 Is this guy here to kill us? 308 00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:22,820 It's me, Laszlo! 309 00:14:22,903 --> 00:14:27,199 Oh, Laszlo, did you just see the very sexy man from "Arizonia"? 310 00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:29,618 That's... Do you know what? Never mind. We have to go and hit the road. 311 00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:32,538 - Yes, we should. - No, I surrender to no one! 312 00:14:32,621 --> 00:14:34,290 - Come on! - I've gotta do one more thing, my darling. 313 00:14:34,373 --> 00:14:35,207 Leave it! 314 00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:38,252 She thinks I'm gonna leave here without my witch's skin hat. 315 00:14:38,335 --> 00:14:40,379 - Leave it! - Well, that would be bullshit. 316 00:14:40,462 --> 00:14:41,922 I'm standing my ground! 317 00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:51,765 Wow. Lot of the stuff that happened while I was here happened before. 318 00:14:51,849 --> 00:14:56,020 I mean, there was no me in there, but I was having very fun adventure. 319 00:14:56,103 --> 00:14:57,855 So, did the documentary ever come out? 320 00:14:57,938 --> 00:15:00,024 No. They filmed us for ten years, 321 00:15:00,107 --> 00:15:03,569 but then they decided that they didn't have enough good material. 322 00:15:03,652 --> 00:15:05,696 Yeah. Said it's just a bunch of boring people 323 00:15:05,779 --> 00:15:07,865 doing the same old shit day after day. 324 00:15:07,948 --> 00:15:10,409 Nothing changes. No one ever grows. 325 00:15:10,492 --> 00:15:12,912 - It's pointless. Yada yada. - That too. 326 00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:14,955 See, this is what I've been trying to say, you know? 327 00:15:15,039 --> 00:15:18,584 We've gotten a second chance to set the record straight on... on vampire life. 328 00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:20,669 We can't stop filming. Just not now. 329 00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,087 They haven't even scratched the surface 330 00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:24,548 you know, of the glory and majesty of vampirism. 331 00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:26,759 - They haven't even really-- - Guillermo. Guillermo, sweetie. 332 00:15:26,842 --> 00:15:29,678 Would you mind if I use my deep understanding 333 00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:33,015 of human psychologies to offer up some help for you? 334 00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:34,308 No, thank you. I'm fine, Nadja. 335 00:15:34,391 --> 00:15:35,392 Okay, well I'm gonna do it anyway. 336 00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:38,228 I want you to know that I'm talking with you, not at you. 337 00:15:38,312 --> 00:15:40,189 - Thank you. - And I say this with love. 338 00:15:40,272 --> 00:15:42,358 It's over! 339 00:15:43,567 --> 00:15:45,778 - Did you receive that, or... - What? 340 00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:53,077 If you really feel like you need a special ending to this, 341 00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:55,204 you have about an hour to make it happen, cap'n. 342 00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:57,206 Actually, now about a half hour. 343 00:15:57,289 --> 00:16:00,668 Why don't you do that little dance you've been dying to do? 344 00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:03,003 - Then we can call it a night. - Dance. 345 00:16:03,087 --> 00:16:05,255 - Come on, boy. Dance! - Dance! Dance! Dance! 346 00:16:05,339 --> 00:16:06,632 Dance! Dance! Dance! Dance! 347 00:16:06,715 --> 00:16:08,717 Stop! We need an ending. It has to be good! Okay? 348 00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:11,095 It has to be good, and it has to mean something. 349 00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:14,223 Give viewers emotional closure. 350 00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:15,349 He's absolutely right. 351 00:16:15,432 --> 00:16:18,310 A lot of shows biff it when it comes to sticking the landing. 352 00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:21,981 I can't tell you how many comments I've written about this very topic. 353 00:16:22,064 --> 00:16:27,319 Check me out in the discussion threads on Reddit, IndieWire, Variety, Deadline, 354 00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:32,491 TV Guide, TV Insider, IMDb, Hollywood Reporter, Den of Geek. 355 00:16:32,574 --> 00:16:35,285 Oh, oh. I just got the perfect ending. 356 00:16:35,369 --> 00:16:36,662 Great. 357 00:16:36,745 --> 00:16:39,707 - Guillermo becomes a vampire. - Mm-hmm. Okay. 358 00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:41,792 We did that already last year. 359 00:16:41,875 --> 00:16:43,919 - Did we? - Yes, we did. 360 00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:45,587 We turned Guillermo into a vampire, 361 00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:48,549 and then Guillermo decided, "I don't want to be a vampire anymore." 362 00:16:48,632 --> 00:16:51,135 So we had to turn him back again. Took fucking ages. 363 00:16:51,218 --> 00:16:54,263 Really should have finished filming at that point, I think. Great out. 364 00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:57,057 Okay, come on. There has to be something we've learned over the past six years. 365 00:16:57,141 --> 00:17:00,811 You know, how we've grown, life lesson. What have we learned? 366 00:17:00,894 --> 00:17:02,938 Don't turn Guillermo into a fucking vampire. 367 00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:04,481 Okay. Anyone else? 368 00:17:04,565 --> 00:17:05,858 Uh... 369 00:17:05,941 --> 00:17:07,860 A lesson we've learned. 370 00:17:08,986 --> 00:17:13,741 How we've grown, how we've changed. Right? Anyone? 371 00:17:14,491 --> 00:17:18,662 Laszlo, come on. You're a man of science, so surely you must have learned something. 372 00:17:18,746 --> 00:17:20,330 Oh. All right, then. 373 00:17:20,414 --> 00:17:22,458 ♪ We've had lots of laughs ♪ 374 00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:23,375 Okay. 375 00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:25,544 ♪Sucked lots of blood ♪ 376 00:17:25,627 --> 00:17:26,712 Yeah. 377 00:17:26,795 --> 00:17:29,798 And then fucked each other senseless. How's that? 378 00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:31,425 - Very nice. - Good. It's good. 379 00:17:31,508 --> 00:17:33,010 Anyone else? [stammers] The Guide. 380 00:17:33,093 --> 00:17:36,221 You know what? Sure, I think I might have something to contribute. 381 00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:38,265 - Thank you! Great. - All right. 382 00:17:38,348 --> 00:17:41,977 So, all of us in this room are immigrants. 383 00:17:42,478 --> 00:17:47,441 We have come from far-off lands to this New World for a fresh start. 384 00:17:48,317 --> 00:17:50,652 - And even though we're vampires... - Some of us. 385 00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:53,489 ...this country would not be what it is without us. 386 00:17:53,572 --> 00:17:58,452 And we would not be who we are without this country. 387 00:17:58,535 --> 00:17:59,787 - Mmm. Yeah. - Yes. 388 00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:00,704 That's beautiful. 389 00:18:00,788 --> 00:18:05,626 But lately it seems like there a lot of other immigrants 390 00:18:05,709 --> 00:18:08,462 entering this great country illegally. 391 00:18:08,545 --> 00:18:09,963 - Okay. - And we can not-- 392 00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:11,340 We don't think we wanna end on that note. 393 00:18:11,423 --> 00:18:12,257 I'm just saying. 394 00:18:12,341 --> 00:18:13,759 Colin, how 'bout you? What have you learned? 395 00:18:13,842 --> 00:18:14,676 MAGAFV. 396 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:15,594 - Well-- - What? 397 00:18:15,677 --> 00:18:19,264 MAGAFV. Make America great again for vampires. 398 00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:22,601 We gotta... We need to edit that part out. And probably burn that thing. 399 00:18:22,684 --> 00:18:27,231 Oh, my big boy. This really is so much simpler than you are making it. 400 00:18:27,314 --> 00:18:31,318 If you really need this special ending, hello, I'm a vampire. 401 00:18:31,401 --> 00:18:33,028 I can just hypnotize everyone who watches this, 402 00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:34,988 and give them the ending they would find most satisfying. 403 00:18:35,072 --> 00:18:35,948 How would that even work? 404 00:18:36,031 --> 00:18:37,241 Like this. 405 00:18:38,033 --> 00:18:43,413 You who are watching this will now see the most perfect ending 406 00:18:43,497 --> 00:18:50,254 you could possibly imagine with your simple little human minds. 407 00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:56,093 Honey. 408 00:18:59,638 --> 00:19:00,639 Honey, wake up. 409 00:19:01,598 --> 00:19:04,268 - You won't believe the dream I just had. - Mmm. 410 00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:07,396 Don't you wanna hear about it? 411 00:19:17,531 --> 00:19:19,700 All right, Nandor. What is it? 412 00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:25,831 I was a vampire, and I lived with a bunch of other vampires 413 00:19:25,914 --> 00:19:27,833 in this old house in Staten Island. 414 00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:31,420 I'm happy for you. Good night. 415 00:19:32,045 --> 00:19:35,340 Nothing. Nothing made sense in this place. 416 00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:37,968 There was this vampire couple. 417 00:19:38,051 --> 00:19:41,972 He was, like, a old-timey, British type guy. 418 00:19:42,556 --> 00:19:46,810 And his wife was from this small Mediterranean island. 419 00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:52,482 And she was, like, super aggressive and cleverer than me 420 00:19:55,152 --> 00:19:58,488 And there was this bald guy who was, like, really boring... 421 00:20:00,365 --> 00:20:01,408 but on purpose. 422 00:20:03,619 --> 00:20:06,830 And you were, like, my butler or something. 423 00:20:08,123 --> 00:20:09,416 Well, that settles it. 424 00:20:09,499 --> 00:20:12,002 No more Japanese food before you go to bed. 425 00:20:12,085 --> 00:20:13,086 Good night. 426 00:20:21,803 --> 00:20:25,057 And we were all having sex with each other all the time. 427 00:20:25,140 --> 00:20:26,642 Not with you, Guillermo. 428 00:20:27,142 --> 00:20:28,685 Go back to sleep. 429 00:20:28,769 --> 00:20:30,395 Good night, honey. 430 00:20:39,988 --> 00:20:43,075 So will the hypnosis work? 431 00:20:43,158 --> 00:20:44,618 Probably. Maybe. 432 00:20:44,701 --> 00:20:47,287 I mean, I did use very extra powerful hypnosis. 433 00:20:47,371 --> 00:20:50,791 So anyone who watches, his IQ will drop by ten to 20 points 434 00:20:50,874 --> 00:20:52,417 due to the brain scramblies. 435 00:20:52,501 --> 00:20:56,129 But that's the price of business, is it not? 436 00:20:57,047 --> 00:21:00,133 I, uh... I actually have something I'd like to say 437 00:21:00,217 --> 00:21:04,763 regarding what I've learned these past few years. 438 00:21:04,846 --> 00:21:10,310 We're born into families, and-and my family wasn't... wasn't great. 439 00:21:10,394 --> 00:21:13,855 But we also have our chosen families. 440 00:21:14,731 --> 00:21:18,527 Uh, people who we choose to surround ourselves with. 441 00:21:18,610 --> 00:21:21,029 They may not be your blood relatives 442 00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:24,950 but they look out for you and you look out for them. 443 00:21:25,033 --> 00:21:25,867 Mmm. 444 00:21:25,951 --> 00:21:29,037 And they accept you for who you are 445 00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:32,708 and lift you up when you're down. 446 00:21:32,791 --> 00:21:36,837 Being here tonight with you guys makes me realize, um... 447 00:21:37,754 --> 00:21:38,672 There, there. 448 00:21:38,755 --> 00:21:44,720 Makes me realize how much I dearly miss my chosen family, 449 00:21:44,803 --> 00:21:48,890 who all died in a steamboat accident in 1906, 450 00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:51,893 leaving me with no choice but to hang out with you stinky turds. 451 00:21:51,977 --> 00:21:53,979 Okay, you know what? I tried and-- 452 00:21:54,062 --> 00:21:56,148 No. You know what, Guillermo? You're right. 453 00:21:56,773 --> 00:22:00,527 This is an important moment and it requires important words. Excuse me? 454 00:22:01,194 --> 00:22:04,448 I too, like Colin Robinson, have been thinking 455 00:22:04,531 --> 00:22:08,285 not just about this world but my own life. 456 00:22:08,368 --> 00:22:11,496 From my humble beginnings as a foot soldier in Al Quolanudar 457 00:22:12,247 --> 00:22:14,374 to my reign of terror as a great warrior, 458 00:22:14,458 --> 00:22:18,879 pillaging and killing whilst riding my horse, John. 459 00:22:18,962 --> 00:22:22,674 From becoming a vampire to arriving in this land of plenty. 460 00:22:22,758 --> 00:22:24,343 I've lived a full life, 461 00:22:24,426 --> 00:22:26,636 but there's always been something missing 462 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:30,390 and it is now that I realize what that something is: 463 00:22:31,683 --> 00:22:34,436 An underground crime fighting lair 464 00:22:34,519 --> 00:22:37,856 accessible only by an elevator coffin thingy. 465 00:22:37,939 --> 00:22:40,567 Now, hear me out, use a lever in the coffin, 466 00:22:40,650 --> 00:22:42,235 - you pull it, the floor opens up... - Okay. 467 00:22:42,319 --> 00:22:43,695 - ...and the coffin... - Okay. Okay. 468 00:22:43,779 --> 00:22:44,863 I'm talking here. 469 00:22:44,946 --> 00:22:47,240 Well, I feel like you've only thought about this for the last two weeks. 470 00:22:48,492 --> 00:22:49,993 Thank you for shitting on my dream. 471 00:22:50,077 --> 00:22:51,161 - I wasn't sh-- - In fact, you know, 472 00:22:51,244 --> 00:22:52,913 that's a really good name for this documentary. 473 00:22:52,996 --> 00:22:54,831 Thank You For Shitting All Over My Dream. 474 00:22:54,915 --> 00:22:55,791 Okay, fine. You know what? 475 00:22:55,874 --> 00:22:57,459 - I'm out. - Wait. No, Guillermo. 476 00:22:57,542 --> 00:22:59,044 Why don't you tell us what you've learned? 477 00:22:59,127 --> 00:23:00,837 Better still, why don't you tell it in song? 478 00:23:00,921 --> 00:23:03,173 Oh, yes. And you could do a little dance as well. 479 00:23:03,256 --> 00:23:04,841 - Yeah, and a jig. Do a jig. - Dance, boy. 480 00:23:04,925 --> 00:23:08,136 Dance. Dance. Dance. Dance. Dance. Dance. Dance. 481 00:23:08,220 --> 00:23:11,640 Silence! There'll be no dancing or jigging or singing. 482 00:23:11,723 --> 00:23:14,267 Guillermo, you have the floor. Speak from the heart. 483 00:23:14,351 --> 00:23:15,727 Okay. 484 00:23:15,811 --> 00:23:16,895 I believe in you. 485 00:23:16,978 --> 00:23:18,939 - Thank you. - Make it good. 486 00:23:19,022 --> 00:23:20,440 - I guess-- - To the camera. 487 00:23:20,524 --> 00:23:21,733 Okay. 488 00:23:21,817 --> 00:23:23,026 - I guess-- - To that camera. 489 00:23:25,862 --> 00:23:26,863 - I guess-- - Don't biff it. 490 00:23:27,906 --> 00:23:29,741 So... 491 00:23:30,700 --> 00:23:35,247 I guess I came to this house because I wanted to be a vampire. 492 00:23:35,956 --> 00:23:37,666 And I became one. 493 00:23:38,667 --> 00:23:40,043 Well, briefly. 494 00:23:40,127 --> 00:23:42,587 It just wasn't for me, um... 495 00:23:43,630 --> 00:23:45,048 But I stayed in the house. 496 00:23:45,966 --> 00:23:46,967 And why did I stay? 497 00:23:47,050 --> 00:23:52,472 Well... [chuckles] ...I mean, for 16 years, I was chasing this dream, you know? 498 00:23:52,556 --> 00:23:55,976 - And when that dream was gone... - Shit. 499 00:23:56,059 --> 00:23:56,977 ...I still stayed. 500 00:23:57,060 --> 00:23:58,478 My darling. What is he doing? 501 00:23:58,562 --> 00:24:00,522 - I think humans like to think that... - He's fucking my bear. 502 00:24:00,605 --> 00:24:02,607 - ...we have thousands of roads... - Can you make him stop? 503 00:24:02,691 --> 00:24:03,817 we can choose from, right? 504 00:24:03,900 --> 00:24:05,902 - I don't think I can. - We only have two, really. 505 00:24:05,986 --> 00:24:08,196 - He'll stop when he's finished. - You're only always leaving home... 506 00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:10,574 - If you know what I mean. - ...or you always coming back to home. 507 00:24:10,657 --> 00:24:12,367 I don't mind that he's humping the bear... 508 00:24:12,451 --> 00:24:13,493 What is home? I'm glad you asked. 509 00:24:13,577 --> 00:24:15,829 He's making eye contact with me directly while he does it. 510 00:24:15,912 --> 00:24:17,414 Home is essentially where your friends are. 511 00:24:17,497 --> 00:24:19,124 - Friends... - Don't make eye contact... 512 00:24:19,207 --> 00:24:20,959 You able to hear me? Is the mic gonna pick it up? 513 00:24:21,042 --> 00:24:23,545 - I was talking about friends... - Guide lady, look me. 514 00:24:23,628 --> 00:24:26,047 - ...who are there to build you up, you know? - Worth a try. 515 00:24:26,131 --> 00:24:28,133 They are there to support you. They weren't just-- 516 00:24:28,216 --> 00:24:31,136 - You know, I was finding it quite... - They're there. They become a part of you. 517 00:24:31,219 --> 00:24:35,807 They've made you who you are. They are your everything. 518 00:24:35,891 --> 00:24:37,809 - Nice. - Thank you. 519 00:24:39,394 --> 00:24:40,729 Oh, okay. I guess, they're clapping 520 00:24:40,812 --> 00:24:43,023 for the Monster and whatever they did with the bear. 521 00:24:43,106 --> 00:24:45,317 Guillermo, you won't believe what just happened. 522 00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:47,402 The Monster fucked that bear. 523 00:24:47,486 --> 00:24:49,613 Some wild and whacky stuff. 524 00:24:49,696 --> 00:24:52,866 - Now he's ripped his penis off. - Oh, no. 525 00:24:52,949 --> 00:24:55,869 He's handing it to The Guide, and they say romance is dead. 526 00:24:55,952 --> 00:24:58,788 If Gizmo is not gonna sing... 527 00:24:58,872 --> 00:25:00,123 - Cheers. - ...then I might. 528 00:25:00,207 --> 00:25:01,166 Yeah. No. 529 00:25:01,249 --> 00:25:02,751 I love the singsong. Wanna join? 530 00:25:02,834 --> 00:25:05,003 You guys go ahead. 531 00:25:05,086 --> 00:25:08,757 ♪ We'll meet again ♪ 532 00:25:09,424 --> 00:25:11,593 ♪ Don't know where ♪ 533 00:25:12,260 --> 00:25:15,805 ♪ Don't know when ♪ 534 00:25:15,889 --> 00:25:16,806 Everyone, join in. 535 00:25:17,557 --> 00:25:21,061 ♪ But I know we'll meet again ♪ 536 00:25:21,144 --> 00:25:25,524 ♪ Some sunny day ♪ 537 00:25:28,693 --> 00:25:32,280 ♪ Keep smiling through ♪ 538 00:25:32,781 --> 00:25:35,075 ♪ Just like you ♪ 539 00:25:35,617 --> 00:25:38,828 ♪ Always do ♪ 540 00:25:39,329 --> 00:25:41,998 ♪ Till the blue skies drive ♪ 541 00:25:42,082 --> 00:25:47,420 ♪The dark clouds far away ♪ 542 00:25:47,504 --> 00:25:49,297 - Everyone except The Guide. - Yeah. 543 00:25:49,381 --> 00:25:52,968 ♪ So will you please say hello ♪ 544 00:25:53,051 --> 00:25:55,971 ♪ To the folks that I know ♪ 545 00:25:56,054 --> 00:26:00,850 ♪ Tell them it won't be long ♪ 546 00:26:04,271 --> 00:26:08,608 Guillermo, I was very moved by your final words of wisdom to camera. 547 00:26:09,693 --> 00:26:10,944 Thank you. 548 00:26:12,404 --> 00:26:15,782 To be honest, Guillermo, I was also a little sad 549 00:26:15,865 --> 00:26:17,867 when they said the documentary was ending. 550 00:26:17,951 --> 00:26:21,037 But after giving it a lot of thought, 551 00:26:21,121 --> 00:26:26,293 I think it's a good thing that the cameras aren't filming us all the time. 552 00:26:26,376 --> 00:26:27,544 Why is that? 553 00:26:27,627 --> 00:26:29,087 Lots of reasons. 554 00:26:29,170 --> 00:26:31,881 Such as? 555 00:26:31,965 --> 00:26:35,051 You know those big lights that they use when they film us? 556 00:26:35,135 --> 00:26:35,969 Mm-hmm. 557 00:26:36,052 --> 00:26:37,887 Sometimes they get too hot. 558 00:26:37,971 --> 00:26:40,557 And when they do, they give off a smell. 559 00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:42,976 And when I smell that smell, 560 00:26:43,059 --> 00:26:44,936 I think my hair is on fire. 561 00:26:46,021 --> 00:26:47,606 So I definitely won't miss that. 562 00:26:47,689 --> 00:26:51,067 And how about one... one of the other reasons? 563 00:26:53,111 --> 00:26:54,571 Actually, you know, that's it. 564 00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:01,161 - Wait. - Yes. 565 00:27:01,828 --> 00:27:08,668 I think you should know that tomorrow when you wake up, I won't be here. 566 00:27:09,878 --> 00:27:12,047 What even are you talking about, Guillermo? 567 00:27:13,131 --> 00:27:14,633 It's time to move on. 568 00:27:14,716 --> 00:27:19,220 It's been time for me to move on for quite a while now. 569 00:27:19,304 --> 00:27:24,184 And with the documentary and everything ending, 570 00:27:25,518 --> 00:27:28,605 I mean... [chuckles] ...what other kind of sign do I need from the universe? 571 00:27:29,773 --> 00:27:32,942 So I'm going to do that. 572 00:27:33,568 --> 00:27:38,031 But what about us joining forces and fighting crime in a coequal partnership? 573 00:27:38,114 --> 00:27:42,661 Operating out of a hidden underground lair accessible exclusively 574 00:27:42,744 --> 00:27:45,121 by a top secret coffin elevator. 575 00:27:45,830 --> 00:27:46,915 Tell you what. 576 00:27:48,166 --> 00:27:51,169 - Wherever I go, wherever I am, - Mm-hmm. 577 00:27:52,003 --> 00:27:53,755 - I'll look at the news every night. - Hmm. 578 00:27:54,589 --> 00:27:59,636 And if I ever hear of some magnificent fearsome 579 00:27:59,719 --> 00:28:04,140 half-man, half-bat bringing evildoers to justice, 580 00:28:05,975 --> 00:28:07,227 I'll know who that was. 581 00:28:07,310 --> 00:28:08,770 Because it will be me. 582 00:28:08,853 --> 00:28:11,815 Yeah. That's kinda what I meant. 583 00:28:12,607 --> 00:28:14,776 Goodbye, Guillermo. 584 00:28:18,071 --> 00:28:20,240 Goodbye, Master. 585 00:28:20,323 --> 00:28:22,325 You can call me Nandor. 586 00:28:25,203 --> 00:28:26,246 I know. 587 00:28:28,998 --> 00:28:31,418 But you'll always be Master to me. 588 00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:37,882 ♪ We'll meet again ♪ 589 00:28:38,508 --> 00:28:41,511 ♪ Don't know where, don't know when ♪ 590 00:28:42,345 --> 00:28:47,726 ♪ But I know we'll meet again Some sunny day ♪ 591 00:28:50,729 --> 00:28:53,022 ♪ Keep smilin' through ♪ 592 00:28:53,106 --> 00:28:56,693 ♪ Just like you always do ♪ 593 00:28:57,402 --> 00:29:02,741 ♪ Till the blue skies Drive the dark clouds far away ♪ 594 00:29:03,867 --> 00:29:06,745 ♪ So will you please say hello ♪ 595 00:29:06,828 --> 00:29:08,663 ♪ To the folks that I know? ♪ 596 00:29:08,747 --> 00:29:10,915 ♪Tell them I won't be long ♪ 597 00:29:12,417 --> 00:29:13,877 ♪ They'll be happy to know... ♪ 598 00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:15,003 Tail slate. 599 00:29:15,086 --> 00:29:18,089 ♪ That as you saw me go I was singing this...♪ 600 00:29:18,173 --> 00:29:19,257 Ladder. 601 00:29:20,884 --> 00:29:23,344 ♪ We'll meet again ♪ 602 00:29:23,428 --> 00:29:24,262 Right there. 603 00:29:24,345 --> 00:29:26,890 ♪ Don't know where, don't know when ♪ 604 00:29:27,557 --> 00:29:30,643 ♪ But I know we'll meet again... ♪ 605 00:29:30,727 --> 00:29:32,812 Hi. Sorry. Excuse me. 606 00:29:32,896 --> 00:29:36,232 Sorry. Sorry, guys. Sorry. Just a minute. I need to... 607 00:29:36,316 --> 00:29:37,609 Hold the work. 608 00:29:38,359 --> 00:29:39,360 - Thank you. - Yeah. 609 00:29:40,445 --> 00:29:41,780 Sorry. 610 00:29:45,825 --> 00:29:49,037 Guillermo, I thought I'd never see you again. 611 00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:52,540 No, I just said those things because I wanted to give the documentary an ending. 612 00:29:52,624 --> 00:29:56,002 So we can commence with our crime fighting partnership? 613 00:29:56,085 --> 00:29:59,297 No. I really do need to do my own thing. 614 00:29:59,380 --> 00:30:02,801 But just because we don't work together, doesn't mean we can't be friends. 615 00:30:02,884 --> 00:30:04,135 Friends? 616 00:30:04,219 --> 00:30:05,136 Yeah. 617 00:30:05,762 --> 00:30:09,265 Guillermo, I've never allowed you to do this before, but... 618 00:30:12,227 --> 00:30:13,978 come and sit with me inside my coffin. 619 00:30:14,062 --> 00:30:14,979 Really? 620 00:30:15,063 --> 00:30:17,273 - Mm-hmm. - Oh. 621 00:30:22,070 --> 00:30:26,699 To be friends would be cool. But you know what would be really cool? 622 00:30:26,783 --> 00:30:27,784 What? 623 00:30:32,747 --> 00:30:36,626 Are you kidding me? What? When did you do this? 624 00:30:36,709 --> 00:30:39,420 - I've been working on it a while. - Well, does it work? 625 00:30:39,504 --> 00:30:43,341 There's only one way to find out. Guillermo, let's roll. 626 00:30:43,424 --> 00:30:46,177 Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. 627 00:30:52,433 --> 00:30:55,436 ♪ Say goodbye to Hollywood ♪ 628 00:30:56,354 --> 00:30:59,357 ♪ Say goodbye my baby ♪ 629 00:31:00,149 --> 00:31:03,069 ♪ Say goodbye to Hollywood ♪ 630 00:31:03,903 --> 00:31:07,407 ♪ Say goodbye my baby ♪ 631 00:31:07,490 --> 00:31:10,285 Now before we go into the reading of the letter... 632 00:31:10,368 --> 00:31:13,454 So this is a rough cut, right? You're open to notes? 633 00:31:13,538 --> 00:31:14,831 Colin Robinson. 634 00:31:14,914 --> 00:31:17,750 Please, finish a whole victim before moving on 635 00:31:17,834 --> 00:31:19,085 to a next one, okay? 636 00:31:19,168 --> 00:31:20,587 I do say that a lot, don't I? 637 00:31:20,670 --> 00:31:23,339 So this is going to be on the television? 638 00:31:23,423 --> 00:31:24,883 I bloody hope not. 639 00:31:24,966 --> 00:31:27,427 - Well, I get the gist. - It's not hygienic! 640 00:31:27,510 --> 00:31:28,678 Think I do too.