1 00:00:04,178 --> 00:00:06,441 Did you call the speaker of the house a four-letter word? 2 00:00:06,484 --> 00:00:07,920 -No. -Are you sure? 3 00:00:07,964 --> 00:00:10,445 Yes, I'm sure."Ass" is a three-letter word. 4 00:00:22,326 --> 00:00:25,242 Here we are. [grunts] 5 00:00:25,286 --> 00:00:27,288 I keep all of my correspondences 6 00:00:27,331 --> 00:00:30,552 from the past seven and a half centuries in this box. 7 00:00:30,595 --> 00:00:33,294 I used to get so many letters. 8 00:00:33,337 --> 00:00:34,860 Who's it gonna be? 9 00:00:34,904 --> 00:00:36,688 From my mom and dad 10 00:00:36,732 --> 00:00:39,952 when I was away training with the Al Quolanudarian forces. 11 00:00:39,996 --> 00:00:41,563 "Dear Nandor, 12 00:00:41,606 --> 00:00:45,262 we hope that the rocks there are not too hard." 13 00:00:45,306 --> 00:00:49,310 At training camp, we would use rocks as pillows. 14 00:00:49,353 --> 00:00:51,312 And blankets. 15 00:00:51,355 --> 00:00:54,141 This one is a letter from the leader of an army 16 00:00:54,184 --> 00:00:57,013 that we defeated with particular brutality. 17 00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:59,015 Tens of thousands were slaughtered. 18 00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:01,452 I guess I never had a chance to open it. 19 00:01:01,496 --> 00:01:04,238 "I resign myself to surrender. 20 00:01:04,281 --> 00:01:07,067 I plead for a road to peace." 21 00:01:08,416 --> 00:01:09,547 Oops. 22 00:01:09,591 --> 00:01:11,941 Oh, this one is good. 23 00:01:11,984 --> 00:01:14,900 An anonymous friend sent me a token 24 00:01:14,944 --> 00:01:18,600 for a free scoop at Baskin and Robbins. 25 00:01:18,643 --> 00:01:23,213 I can't eat ice cream, but it meant a lot. 26 00:01:23,257 --> 00:01:25,259 I have asked Guillermo 27 00:01:25,302 --> 00:01:27,304 to bring me his computing machine 28 00:01:27,348 --> 00:01:30,307 so I can see if I have receivedany electronic letters 29 00:01:30,351 --> 00:01:32,614 -in the past decade. -GUILLERMO: Okay. 30 00:01:32,657 --> 00:01:34,703 -All right. -Ah, yes. 31 00:01:34,746 --> 00:01:36,357 GUILLERMO: Connect this... 32 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:38,663 All right, there you go. 33 00:01:43,059 --> 00:01:46,149 It's connected to this Ethernet cable. 34 00:01:46,193 --> 00:01:48,195 Yes, I know how the ether works, Guillermo. 35 00:01:48,238 --> 00:01:51,285 -No, Ethernet. -Give me this. 36 00:01:51,328 --> 00:01:52,895 [error chime] 37 00:01:53,983 --> 00:01:56,812 [error chime continues] 38 00:01:56,855 --> 00:01:59,597 Okay. Well, if that's it, 39 00:01:59,641 --> 00:02:01,643 I'm gonna head out, 'cause Ihave a couple of errands to run. 40 00:02:01,686 --> 00:02:04,211 -Okay, then, bye-bye. -Bye-bye. 41 00:02:04,254 --> 00:02:06,865 Oh, uh, I got some blood on my fancy collar, 42 00:02:06,909 --> 00:02:08,389 so if could you get me one of those... 43 00:02:08,432 --> 00:02:09,955 -Tide to go pens? -...soapy pens 44 00:02:09,999 --> 00:02:11,566 -you can use on clothing. -Tide to go pens. 45 00:02:11,609 --> 00:02:13,045 The Tide pen. 46 00:02:13,089 --> 00:02:15,570 -The "to go" variety. -To go. 47 00:02:15,613 --> 00:02:18,094 There's money in the dish on the table in my room. 48 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,313 The money dish. 49 00:02:19,356 --> 00:02:21,010 Uh, it's gone black. 50 00:02:21,053 --> 00:02:23,055 No, no, it's just asleep. 51 00:02:23,839 --> 00:02:27,408 Arise. Arise! 52 00:02:27,451 --> 00:02:31,455 What is "arise," again? Control-alt-seven? 53 00:02:31,499 --> 00:02:33,370 ["You're Dead" by Norma Tanega playing] 54 00:02:33,414 --> 00:02:36,025 ♪ Don't sing if you want to live long♪ 55 00:02:36,068 --> 00:02:38,375 ♪ They have no use for your song♪ 56 00:02:38,419 --> 00:02:41,291 ♪ You're dead, you're dead, you're dead♪ 57 00:02:41,335 --> 00:02:43,424 ♪ You're dead and out of this world♪ 58 00:02:45,513 --> 00:02:48,603 ♪ Now your hope and compassion is gone♪ 59 00:02:48,646 --> 00:02:51,258 ♪ You sold out your dream to the world♪ 60 00:02:51,301 --> 00:02:53,782 ♪ Stay dead, stay dead, stay dead♪ 61 00:02:53,825 --> 00:02:58,265 ♪ You're dead and out of this world.♪ 62 00:02:58,308 --> 00:03:00,484 ♪ 63 00:03:05,968 --> 00:03:07,926 CLAUDE: What if it's a little old lady vampire? 64 00:03:07,970 --> 00:03:10,146 -KIDS: Kill. -What if it's a little baby vampire? 65 00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,148 -KIDS: Kill. -Oh, look here. 66 00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:15,020 Guillermo, you ready to slay some Suckers? 67 00:03:15,064 --> 00:03:18,285 Uh... I brought some wooden stakes 68 00:03:18,328 --> 00:03:20,156 -that I had at home so we can practice... -TONYA: Nice. 69 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:23,159 -...slaying some Suckers. -CLAUDE: Right on. 70 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:24,682 GUILLERMO: I've decided 71 00:03:24,726 --> 00:03:26,467 [whispers]: to infiltrate the group 72 00:03:26,510 --> 00:03:30,035 and sabotage whatever plans they have. 73 00:03:30,079 --> 00:03:32,081 'Cause I would never forgive myself if something happened 74 00:03:32,124 --> 00:03:34,475 to Nandor, Nadja or Laszlo. 75 00:03:34,518 --> 00:03:36,433 But I don't think I have to be worried too much with this... 76 00:03:36,477 --> 00:03:38,653 CLAUDE: Stab it, stab it like this! Gotta kill it. 77 00:03:38,696 --> 00:03:40,481 Glad you brought your camera crew, too. 78 00:03:40,524 --> 00:03:42,309 Helps get the word out. 79 00:03:42,352 --> 00:03:44,528 For too long,these vampires have gotten away 80 00:03:44,572 --> 00:03:47,531 with treating humans like either dinner or dirt. 81 00:03:47,575 --> 00:03:49,490 You know, every relationship has its ebbs and flows. 82 00:03:49,533 --> 00:03:51,100 Ooh! I'm feeling good. 83 00:03:51,143 --> 00:03:52,449 -DEREK: Yeah. Yes. -You feeling good? 84 00:03:52,493 --> 00:03:54,973 -I feel good. -Hell yeah. -Yeah. 85 00:03:55,017 --> 00:03:56,627 You guys are pumped for training. 86 00:03:56,671 --> 00:03:58,455 CLAUDE:Training? Nah. Training's over. 87 00:03:58,499 --> 00:04:02,329 -What-what's going on? -Our first official hunt. 88 00:04:03,939 --> 00:04:04,983 I'm sorry, what? 89 00:04:08,552 --> 00:04:12,513 Oh, uh-- No, I thought we were just going to, 90 00:04:12,556 --> 00:04:14,384 -uh, practice today... -No, no, no. 91 00:04:14,428 --> 00:04:16,865 We finally have a real target. Shanice, fill him in. 92 00:04:16,908 --> 00:04:18,780 You know my roommate who was turned into a vampire? 93 00:04:18,823 --> 00:04:20,172 Well, I think I figured out 94 00:04:20,216 --> 00:04:21,435 where the ones who turned her live. 95 00:04:21,478 --> 00:04:24,916 It's a house right here in Staten Island. 96 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:26,440 It's a very spooky-looking place. 97 00:04:26,483 --> 00:04:29,530 No one goes in or out during the day. 98 00:04:29,573 --> 00:04:30,661 No cars are parked out front. 99 00:04:30,705 --> 00:04:33,708 And there a lot of bats. 100 00:04:33,751 --> 00:04:35,971 Plus, there are these very strange 101 00:04:36,014 --> 00:04:39,670 tr-- tr-- tenopinaries. Tipperaries? 102 00:04:39,714 --> 00:04:42,238 -Chilip-- Tilopirar... -Topiary. 103 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:43,892 These hedges out in the front yard. 104 00:04:43,935 --> 00:04:46,808 Do, uh, any of these hedges look like... 105 00:04:48,157 --> 00:04:49,593 ...vaginas? 106 00:04:49,637 --> 00:04:51,203 [stifled laugh] My man. 107 00:04:51,247 --> 00:04:52,553 SHANICE: I mean, I guess 108 00:04:52,596 --> 00:04:54,468 some of them are of the adult nature. 109 00:04:54,511 --> 00:04:57,122 I think I know what house you're talking about. 110 00:04:57,166 --> 00:04:59,342 They're normal human beings. They're not vampires. 111 00:04:59,386 --> 00:05:00,952 They're, like, teachers or social workers, actually. 112 00:05:00,996 --> 00:05:03,477 -We are going there tonight. -Yes! 113 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:06,393 No! We shouldn't go tonight. 114 00:05:06,436 --> 00:05:08,612 This is my second meeting. I thought we were gonna just-- 115 00:05:08,656 --> 00:05:10,222 ha-- practice. 116 00:05:10,266 --> 00:05:11,528 I could go another round at that crossbow. 117 00:05:11,572 --> 00:05:12,921 And I know that Derek mentioned something. 118 00:05:12,964 --> 00:05:14,575 You could go another round, right? 119 00:05:14,618 --> 00:05:15,837 -No, I'm good. -I'm pretty sure you said it. 120 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:17,142 No, we've never talked outside of this. 121 00:05:17,186 --> 00:05:18,361 Okay, well, he doesn't remember. 122 00:05:18,405 --> 00:05:21,495 -Gear up. Let's ride. -Yes. 123 00:05:21,538 --> 00:05:23,410 TONYA: All right, guys. We have enough for, like, 124 00:05:23,453 --> 00:05:25,368 two holy waters per person. 125 00:05:25,412 --> 00:05:27,022 [hyperventilating] 126 00:05:27,065 --> 00:05:29,416 Breathing exercises. I like it, Guillermo. 127 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:33,811 I'm going to check my Hotmail. 128 00:05:33,855 --> 00:05:35,465 Password? 129 00:05:35,509 --> 00:05:38,468 Uh... What is my password? 130 00:05:38,512 --> 00:05:41,515 A secure, alphanumeric one, I hope. 131 00:05:41,558 --> 00:05:44,996 People think that just varying the case and adding a number 132 00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:48,391 is enough to keep would-be hackers at bay, 133 00:05:48,435 --> 00:05:49,436 but the truth is, 134 00:05:49,479 --> 00:05:51,438 that's just the floor, not the ceiling. 135 00:05:51,481 --> 00:05:54,789 I have a very secure password, okay, Colin Robinson? 136 00:05:54,832 --> 00:05:57,052 My password is an impenetrable fortress. 137 00:05:57,095 --> 00:06:01,622 That's it. "Impenetrable fortress." 138 00:06:01,665 --> 00:06:03,798 I have two e-mail messages. 139 00:06:03,841 --> 00:06:07,323 "Fandango.com presents an advanced screening 140 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:10,892 "of The Blind Side and you are invited. 141 00:06:10,935 --> 00:06:15,070 The screening is October the 8th, 2009." 142 00:06:15,113 --> 00:06:16,637 -I... -Too late. 143 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:18,856 -I missed it. -[laughs]: Sandy Bullock. 144 00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:21,555 She was absolutely delightful in it. 145 00:06:21,598 --> 00:06:24,427 She dazzled. I mean, you've seen Speed, 146 00:06:24,471 --> 00:06:28,083 Miss Congeniality, Speed 2, Miss Congeniality 2, 147 00:06:28,126 --> 00:06:30,694 -and Practical Magic. -[hisses] 148 00:06:30,738 --> 00:06:33,871 Well, that, that's just rude. [chuckles] 149 00:06:35,743 --> 00:06:37,527 Next message. 150 00:06:37,571 --> 00:06:39,529 "This is not a joke. 151 00:06:39,573 --> 00:06:42,314 "You are now cursed. 152 00:06:42,358 --> 00:06:44,665 "Forward this message to ten people 153 00:06:44,708 --> 00:06:47,494 "and unforeseen riches will be yours. 154 00:06:47,537 --> 00:06:50,148 "If you don't, you will be killed. 155 00:06:50,192 --> 00:06:53,717 "Bloody Mary knows who you are and where you live. 156 00:06:53,761 --> 00:06:58,026 "She will find you and hang your corpse for all to see. 157 00:06:58,069 --> 00:07:01,464 "You have until sunrise tomorrow. 158 00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:03,031 "No send-backs. 159 00:07:03,074 --> 00:07:05,250 This is not a joke." 160 00:07:05,294 --> 00:07:07,601 Nadja! 161 00:07:07,644 --> 00:07:09,429 Laszlo! 162 00:07:15,565 --> 00:07:18,089 "Warning. If you've read this far, it's too late." 163 00:07:18,133 --> 00:07:19,482 You stupid bloody donkey. 164 00:07:19,526 --> 00:07:21,963 -Why did you let me read this far? -Well... 165 00:07:22,006 --> 00:07:25,314 Says here some girl called Arianna disobeyed Bloody Mary, 166 00:07:25,357 --> 00:07:26,924 and now she's dead. 167 00:07:26,968 --> 00:07:28,839 They ripped her guts out 168 00:07:28,883 --> 00:07:31,712 -and dropped them on the front doorstep of her parents. -Oh! 169 00:07:31,755 --> 00:07:32,626 I'd say we're fucked. 170 00:07:32,669 --> 00:07:34,715 This light box has cursed us. 171 00:07:34,758 --> 00:07:36,064 Do you think it could maybe be something 172 00:07:36,107 --> 00:07:37,282 from the neighborhood imp, 173 00:07:37,326 --> 00:07:38,719 having a cheeky little joke? 174 00:07:38,762 --> 00:07:40,155 This is not a joke. 175 00:07:40,198 --> 00:07:42,070 It says it in many places. 176 00:07:42,113 --> 00:07:44,507 Here, here, and here. 177 00:07:44,551 --> 00:07:47,728 Don't look, my sweet darling. It's too dangerous. 178 00:07:47,771 --> 00:07:48,990 Curses are very common 179 00:07:49,033 --> 00:07:51,732 -and very serious. -Yes, this is true. 180 00:07:51,775 --> 00:07:53,385 When I was younger, I saw so many 181 00:07:53,429 --> 00:07:55,083 horrible curses going around. 182 00:07:55,126 --> 00:07:57,607 There was a man who was just in the market, 183 00:07:57,651 --> 00:08:00,436 and he didn't pay the fair price for the meat of a goat, 184 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:03,570 then, poof, you know,his bollocks are shriveled into 185 00:08:03,613 --> 00:08:05,397 two tiny little raisins. 186 00:08:05,441 --> 00:08:07,008 The man's bollocks. Not the goat's. 187 00:08:07,051 --> 00:08:09,401 Oh, yeah. No, sorry. I thought that was clear. 188 00:08:09,445 --> 00:08:12,143 -No, it wasn't. -[chuckles] -[scream echoing] 189 00:08:12,187 --> 00:08:13,754 -Curses really hit you where it hurts. -Mm-hmm. 190 00:08:13,797 --> 00:08:17,409 Well, I definitely, uh, succeeded 191 00:08:17,453 --> 00:08:18,802 with the infiltrating part of the plan, 192 00:08:18,846 --> 00:08:21,326 but I'm having a little troublewith the sabotage 193 00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:23,328 in that we're about to drive a van full of vampire-killing 194 00:08:23,372 --> 00:08:24,678 weapons to the house. 195 00:08:24,721 --> 00:08:27,028 I just need to pretend I'm one of them. Just, just pretend... 196 00:08:27,071 --> 00:08:28,986 Guillermo! We gotta move. 197 00:08:29,030 --> 00:08:32,163 Derek's mom needs the van back first thing tomorrow morning. 198 00:08:32,207 --> 00:08:34,688 -Let's ride. -Yeah. 199 00:08:34,731 --> 00:08:37,691 Why did you even open this thin machine?! 200 00:08:37,734 --> 00:08:39,823 I was just checking my e-mails. 201 00:08:39,867 --> 00:08:41,912 I didn't know it would be full of curses. 202 00:08:41,956 --> 00:08:43,784 All right, calm down. 203 00:08:43,827 --> 00:08:47,570 All we need to do issend that to ten friends or foes 204 00:08:47,614 --> 00:08:49,572 by sunrise, and the curse will be lifted. 205 00:08:49,616 --> 00:08:51,835 Where are we going to get the e-mail addresses, 206 00:08:51,879 --> 00:08:53,750 the "e-mail address shop"?! 207 00:08:53,794 --> 00:08:55,839 No, I'm guessing that'll be closed this time of night. 208 00:08:55,883 --> 00:08:59,408 I do have the e-mail address for a Count Fandango. 209 00:08:59,451 --> 00:09:01,192 Well done, Nandor. Send it to him. 210 00:09:01,236 --> 00:09:03,934 One step forward to unforeseen fortunes. 211 00:09:03,978 --> 00:09:06,023 One step away from getting our guts ripped out. 212 00:09:06,067 --> 00:09:07,068 What do you say? 213 00:09:07,111 --> 00:09:08,504 -[hisses] -How dare you do that? 214 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,593 You want to end up like Arianna? 215 00:09:10,637 --> 00:09:12,029 -Fine. -Hold your bleedin' horses. 216 00:09:12,073 --> 00:09:15,293 Some chap's left his calling card. 217 00:09:15,337 --> 00:09:18,383 A "Timothy," at Circuit City stores. 218 00:09:18,427 --> 00:09:20,298 "Happy to help," he says. 219 00:09:20,342 --> 00:09:22,605 It also has his phone number... 220 00:09:22,649 --> 00:09:25,434 -and e-mail address. -[Nadja cackles] 221 00:09:25,477 --> 00:09:27,523 -[Nandor laughs] -Looks like Timothy's going to be getting 222 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:30,004 -a curse in the electronic post.-NANDOR: Yeah! 223 00:09:30,047 --> 00:09:31,788 [all laughing] 224 00:09:31,832 --> 00:09:33,877 Hi, Timmy! 225 00:09:33,921 --> 00:09:35,444 -[Claude whoops] -[loud rock music playing] 226 00:09:35,487 --> 00:09:38,490 CLAUDE:Watch out, mosquitoes! [whoops] 227 00:09:38,534 --> 00:09:39,753 [others whooping] 228 00:09:39,796 --> 00:09:42,190 You know, maybe we couldkeep it down a little bit, huh? 229 00:09:42,233 --> 00:09:44,888 It's actually hard to focus on, uh, on vampire killing 230 00:09:44,932 --> 00:09:46,847 when it's so loud, you know? 231 00:09:46,890 --> 00:09:48,457 -[lowers volume] -Thank you. 232 00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:51,199 [whispering]: I feel hot and sweaty. 233 00:09:51,242 --> 00:09:52,853 I can't stop shaking since I got here. 234 00:09:52,896 --> 00:09:54,332 -CLAUDE: You say something, Guillermo? -Uh, no. 235 00:09:54,376 --> 00:09:55,333 I was just saying that, uh, maybe 236 00:09:55,377 --> 00:09:56,726 we're getting a late start, you know. 237 00:09:56,770 --> 00:09:57,727 We should probably be doing this 238 00:09:57,771 --> 00:09:58,989 tomorrow, during the day. 239 00:09:59,033 --> 00:10:00,904 My mom needs the van tomorrow. 240 00:10:00,948 --> 00:10:03,864 -She's catering a quinceañera. -Cool, cool, cool. 241 00:10:03,907 --> 00:10:06,431 That explains the boxes of, uh, shrimp... 242 00:10:06,475 --> 00:10:07,868 Yeah, man, knock yourself out, you know. 243 00:10:07,911 --> 00:10:09,870 Okay, yeah, let me... 244 00:10:09,913 --> 00:10:12,350 let me take a look at... 245 00:10:12,394 --> 00:10:14,701 This is bad. This is bad. 246 00:10:14,744 --> 00:10:18,487 -[line ringing] -Laszlo. Laszlo... 247 00:10:18,530 --> 00:10:21,795 -[phone ringing] -Whoa! What clarion call is that? 248 00:10:21,838 --> 00:10:23,579 The clagging chimes of doom? 249 00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:26,495 -[phone continues ringing] -Shh. Where is it coming from? 250 00:10:26,538 --> 00:10:28,453 This way. 251 00:10:28,497 --> 00:10:30,934 -[Nadja crying out] -NANDOR: I will answer it. 252 00:10:30,978 --> 00:10:32,153 LASZLO: No, you won't. 253 00:10:32,196 --> 00:10:33,720 If that curse can travel through the Internet, 254 00:10:33,763 --> 00:10:36,766 it'll sure as shit travel through that telephone. 255 00:10:36,810 --> 00:10:37,724 [answering machine beeps] 256 00:10:37,767 --> 00:10:39,726 GUILLERMO [on message]: We're not in right now, 257 00:10:39,769 --> 00:10:41,728 but if you'd like to leave a message for Nandor, 258 00:10:41,771 --> 00:10:43,947 -Nadja or Laszlo, -COLIN: And Colin Robinson! 259 00:10:43,991 --> 00:10:45,906 -please do so at the tone. -[beep] 260 00:10:45,949 --> 00:10:47,864 [harsh whisper]: You need to getout of the house right now. 261 00:10:47,908 --> 00:10:49,344 You need to get out or you're gonna die. 262 00:10:49,387 --> 00:10:51,738 -[gasps] -Get out now! 263 00:10:51,781 --> 00:10:53,174 You're gonna die. 264 00:10:53,217 --> 00:10:54,392 This is not a joke. 265 00:10:54,436 --> 00:10:55,742 -Shit. -[beeps off] 266 00:10:55,785 --> 00:10:58,353 How did Bloody Mary get our bloody phone number?! 267 00:10:58,396 --> 00:10:59,702 Her power knows no bounds. 268 00:10:59,746 --> 00:11:01,922 Did I tell you about the time 269 00:11:01,965 --> 00:11:03,793 when Arianna's guts were ripped out of... 270 00:11:03,837 --> 00:11:06,143 -Yes, we just read the e-mail! -Yeah. 271 00:11:06,187 --> 00:11:07,754 We need more addresses. 272 00:11:07,797 --> 00:11:09,190 LASZLO: Well, then, you need to make one up. 273 00:11:09,233 --> 00:11:10,974 It is very hard to come up with names 274 00:11:11,018 --> 00:11:12,759 when everyone is shouting. 275 00:11:12,802 --> 00:11:13,977 What is a good name? 276 00:11:14,021 --> 00:11:16,980 I know one we could try. Bloody fucking Mary! 277 00:11:17,024 --> 00:11:18,852 That little piss snake 278 00:11:18,895 --> 00:11:20,070 thinks she can send a curse to us? 279 00:11:20,114 --> 00:11:22,594 Well, let's see how she likes itwhen I send an e-mail to 280 00:11:22,638 --> 00:11:25,641 bloodyfuckingmary@aol.com. 281 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:28,775 -[computer chimes] -Did she reply? 282 00:11:28,818 --> 00:11:32,648 No. It is from "mailer-daemon." 283 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:33,910 ALL: Demon! 284 00:11:40,047 --> 00:11:43,746 -Knock, knock, knock, knock, knocking. -[door creaking] 285 00:11:43,790 --> 00:11:44,834 Oh. Hey, guys. Come on in. 286 00:11:44,878 --> 00:11:47,010 -No, that's fine. -Right. 287 00:11:47,054 --> 00:11:49,099 Oh, hello, Colin Robinson. 288 00:11:49,143 --> 00:11:51,232 We were just sat around thinking do you know what 289 00:11:51,275 --> 00:11:53,016 would be the best thing in the world ever? 290 00:11:53,060 --> 00:11:57,020 -Get Colin Robinson's e-mail address. -Why? 291 00:11:57,064 --> 00:11:58,805 -To give you a discount card.-To send you a packet of three. 292 00:11:58,848 --> 00:12:00,589 NADJA: I'm just really into, like, computers. 293 00:12:00,632 --> 00:12:02,199 Uh-huh. But why do you really want it? 294 00:12:02,243 --> 00:12:04,332 Because we have a huge fucking curse on us! 295 00:12:04,375 --> 00:12:07,770 We need ten e-mail addresses pronto, Tonto, 296 00:12:07,814 --> 00:12:09,903 -or it's... [makes slashing sound] -COLIN: Huh. 297 00:12:09,946 --> 00:12:13,689 Who got you? Tommy Knockers? The Headless Apothecary? 298 00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:16,170 -Bloody Mary. -[Nadja sobs] 299 00:12:16,213 --> 00:12:18,607 Oh. [laughs] Oh, she's a sneak, that one. 300 00:12:18,650 --> 00:12:20,652 Sure, I'll give you my e-mail address. 301 00:12:20,696 --> 00:12:22,350 -Ha! -Then I get the curse, 302 00:12:22,393 --> 00:12:24,918 and I can pass the curse on to the company directory. 303 00:12:24,961 --> 00:12:28,617 Send it to Jason first. He'll send it over to Andrew. 304 00:12:28,660 --> 00:12:30,445 It'll get to Becky. When it gets to Becky, 305 00:12:30,488 --> 00:12:31,925 I'm gonna get a talking-to. 306 00:12:31,968 --> 00:12:34,014 Don't want to be rude, Colin Robinson, but could you 307 00:12:34,057 --> 00:12:36,190 get on with it? Otherwise it's certain death. 308 00:12:36,233 --> 00:12:38,975 -Okay. Well, let me just write it down.-NANDOR: No, just say it to us. 309 00:12:39,019 --> 00:12:41,804 -This pen's dead. I'm gonna try the old Bic. -Just say it to us. 310 00:12:41,848 --> 00:12:44,067 -It's gonna take a second. -You can just say it to us. 311 00:12:44,111 --> 00:12:45,852 Oh, I wouldn't dare, not with Internet security 312 00:12:45,895 --> 00:12:48,028 being how it is these days. 313 00:12:48,071 --> 00:12:50,508 A lot of Fortune 500 companies today 314 00:12:50,552 --> 00:12:52,032 suffer from corporate espionage. 315 00:12:52,075 --> 00:12:56,166 -"travelbug54@aol.com"? -Dot-com. Right. 316 00:12:56,210 --> 00:12:58,038 I chose that e-mail address 317 00:12:58,081 --> 00:13:02,172 because I enjoy traveling. 318 00:13:02,216 --> 00:13:05,088 [rock music playing] 319 00:13:05,132 --> 00:13:06,829 CLAUDE: Here we go. 320 00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:12,922 ♪ 321 00:13:19,015 --> 00:13:21,539 [laughing]: Yes! 322 00:13:22,540 --> 00:13:25,065 It's not our house. 323 00:13:25,108 --> 00:13:27,067 We're fine. We're gonna be okay. 324 00:13:27,110 --> 00:13:28,851 -[whoops] -It's not our house. I mean, 325 00:13:28,895 --> 00:13:30,635 even the topiary, it's not even erotic. 326 00:13:30,679 --> 00:13:33,334 They're just giant balls. 327 00:13:33,377 --> 00:13:34,988 [Guillermo exhales] 328 00:13:35,031 --> 00:13:37,120 Ready for your first hunt, Guillermo? 329 00:13:37,164 --> 00:13:39,296 -Technically, it's all our first hunt, but... yeah. -True, true. 330 00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:42,125 GUILLERMO: Destiny is a funny mistress. 331 00:13:42,169 --> 00:13:43,518 I mean, I highly doubt 332 00:13:43,561 --> 00:13:44,911 there's any vampires in there. 333 00:13:44,954 --> 00:13:46,782 GUILLERMO: Okay, let's do this, I guess. 334 00:13:47,739 --> 00:13:49,306 CLAUDE: Oh, hell yes. 335 00:13:49,350 --> 00:13:51,004 GUILLERMO: And let's just be cautious, guys. 336 00:13:51,047 --> 00:13:52,309 'Cause they could just be regular people. 337 00:13:53,702 --> 00:13:55,965 And we're, like, breaking into their house. 338 00:13:56,009 --> 00:13:58,185 CLAUDE: Get your cameras on. I smell vamps. 339 00:14:02,058 --> 00:14:04,104 CLAUDE: Very clever hiding place. 340 00:14:04,147 --> 00:14:07,498 Familiars are such idiots. 341 00:14:07,542 --> 00:14:08,891 They're... they're not idiots. 342 00:14:21,121 --> 00:14:23,166 [whispers]: See? See, I told you, 343 00:14:23,210 --> 00:14:24,951 they're just a regular family. Come on, let's go. 344 00:14:24,994 --> 00:14:27,823 Are you kidding me? That'sjust what they want us to think. 345 00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,694 These are decoy photos. 346 00:14:29,738 --> 00:14:31,914 All right, let's split up. 347 00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:34,830 Derek, Tonya, check that way. I'll check over here. 348 00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:37,137 Newb, you stick with Shanice. 349 00:14:37,180 --> 00:14:38,181 Check upstairs. 350 00:14:38,225 --> 00:14:39,574 Let's eviscerate these vamps. 351 00:14:39,617 --> 00:14:42,098 No! No, no, no, let's not eviscerate anyone, okay? 352 00:14:42,142 --> 00:14:43,926 This is already breaking and entering. 353 00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:45,275 Let's just leave this family alone 354 00:14:45,319 --> 00:14:47,321 -before it gets worse. -I'm just gonna go upstairs. 355 00:14:47,364 --> 00:14:49,410 -No, Shanice... -Are you just gonna stay down here by yourself? 356 00:14:49,453 --> 00:14:52,065 -And get murdered? -Shanice! 357 00:14:52,108 --> 00:14:53,762 We could go to prison for this.Shanice. 358 00:14:53,805 --> 00:14:56,112 [creaking from above] 359 00:14:56,156 --> 00:14:57,897 Did you hear that? 360 00:15:03,206 --> 00:15:05,730 What is that, a cage? 361 00:15:05,774 --> 00:15:07,732 Oh, check this out, man. 362 00:15:07,776 --> 00:15:08,995 DEREK: A bat cage. 363 00:15:09,038 --> 00:15:11,214 Who poses for a picture of themself 364 00:15:11,258 --> 00:15:12,563 with themself? 365 00:15:12,607 --> 00:15:14,130 That's not normal. 366 00:15:21,224 --> 00:15:23,226 -SHANICE: Oh. -GUILLERMO: See? 367 00:15:23,270 --> 00:15:25,315 If there was vampires, wouldn'tthey be awake right now? 368 00:15:25,359 --> 00:15:26,621 That's true. 369 00:15:26,664 --> 00:15:28,014 Come on, let's go. 370 00:15:28,057 --> 00:15:29,189 They're just kids. 371 00:15:29,232 --> 00:15:30,973 You know, I used to have star stickers 372 00:15:31,017 --> 00:15:32,235 like that when I was a kid. 373 00:15:32,279 --> 00:15:34,977 Ursa Major, Ursa Minor. 374 00:15:35,021 --> 00:15:38,676 Uh, Canis Major, Canis Minor. 375 00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:41,766 -Shanice, we need to go!. -You know what, if the police showed up, 376 00:15:41,810 --> 00:15:43,420 -I think it's-- -We need to go, okay? 377 00:15:43,464 --> 00:15:45,031 Shanice, we need to go right now. 378 00:15:45,074 --> 00:15:48,425 BOTH: Where are you going? 379 00:15:49,687 --> 00:15:50,993 Holy...! [whimpers] 380 00:15:51,037 --> 00:15:52,081 BOTH: Vampires! 381 00:15:52,125 --> 00:15:54,301 [playing out of tune] 382 00:16:00,307 --> 00:16:01,917 -[screams] -♪ Oh, baby...♪ 383 00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:04,137 -We need to get everybody to the van. -[laughter] 384 00:16:04,180 --> 00:16:06,400 ♪ My heart is full of love and desire for you...♪ 385 00:16:06,443 --> 00:16:10,273 -[screams] -Go, go, go, go, go! 386 00:16:10,317 --> 00:16:11,883 [screams] 387 00:16:11,927 --> 00:16:13,059 ♪ You started this fire♪ 388 00:16:13,102 --> 00:16:15,148 ♪ Down in my soul...♪ 389 00:16:15,191 --> 00:16:16,149 [grunts] 390 00:16:16,192 --> 00:16:19,021 I'm okay, I'm okay! 391 00:16:19,065 --> 00:16:21,110 COLIN: Now that you have my e-mail address, 392 00:16:21,154 --> 00:16:23,852 I'll get your e-mail addresses and you'll be signed up 393 00:16:23,895 --> 00:16:25,854 automatically for my e-newsletter. 394 00:16:25,897 --> 00:16:27,421 -[groans] -It's bi-weekly 395 00:16:27,464 --> 00:16:30,598 and-and by bi-weekly, I mean twice a week 396 00:16:30,641 --> 00:16:33,949 -This week I'm taking a deep dive into... -I have to go, I have to... 397 00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:37,692 -Shit! Shit! Shit! Guys?! Guys?!-♪ Can't stay alive♪ 398 00:16:37,735 --> 00:16:39,955 ♪ Without you♪ 399 00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,304 [panting] 400 00:16:41,348 --> 00:16:42,827 Whoever finds this, 401 00:16:42,871 --> 00:16:45,178 you have to warn everyone. 402 00:16:45,221 --> 00:16:48,181 [growls and snarling] 403 00:16:48,224 --> 00:16:50,531 [screams] 404 00:16:50,574 --> 00:16:53,273 ♪ Desire for you♪ 405 00:16:53,316 --> 00:16:54,491 Derek, let's go! 406 00:16:54,535 --> 00:16:56,058 No way! Guys? 407 00:16:56,102 --> 00:16:57,538 "Dancing in the Moonlight"? 408 00:16:57,581 --> 00:16:59,279 I bet vamps really love this tune... 409 00:16:59,322 --> 00:17:00,715 -No, we have to go! -[screams] 410 00:17:00,758 --> 00:17:02,325 Oh, my God! Where's the holy water? 411 00:17:02,369 --> 00:17:04,197 -[screaming] -Come on, let's go! 412 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:06,068 Guys, we did it! We actually found a vamp! 413 00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:08,984 [screams] 414 00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:11,204 Where are they? 415 00:17:11,247 --> 00:17:13,206 [all shouting, clamoring] 416 00:17:13,249 --> 00:17:15,251 [panting] 417 00:17:17,384 --> 00:17:18,776 I have to go back, I have to go back 418 00:17:18,820 --> 00:17:20,256 or they're gonna die. 419 00:17:20,300 --> 00:17:21,736 I have to go back, I got to go back. 420 00:17:27,611 --> 00:17:29,874 ♪ 421 00:17:29,918 --> 00:17:32,703 CLAUDE: Get the fuck off of me! Shit! 422 00:17:32,747 --> 00:17:35,793 [screams] I shoved a stake in my foot! 423 00:17:35,837 --> 00:17:38,274 -Go, get out. -I'm trying. 424 00:17:38,318 --> 00:17:39,710 -Go! -It really hurts. 425 00:17:39,754 --> 00:17:41,582 -I got a hole in my foot! -[hisses] 426 00:17:41,625 --> 00:17:43,192 [laughs, screams] 427 00:17:43,236 --> 00:17:45,020 You have to get out of the house-- go, go go! 428 00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,108 BOTH: A midnight snack? 429 00:17:46,152 --> 00:17:47,718 [grunts] Sorry. 430 00:17:47,762 --> 00:17:49,285 [both grunting] 431 00:17:49,329 --> 00:17:51,244 SHANICE: Help me! 432 00:17:51,287 --> 00:17:52,984 Shanice! 433 00:17:53,028 --> 00:17:54,943 -Somebody, help! -Shanice! 434 00:17:54,986 --> 00:17:56,814 Somebody help! 435 00:17:56,858 --> 00:18:00,166 [screaming] 436 00:18:00,209 --> 00:18:01,906 Are you okay? 437 00:18:01,950 --> 00:18:03,386 -I'm okay, I'm okay. -All right. 438 00:18:03,430 --> 00:18:05,258 I'm okay. [screams] 439 00:18:05,301 --> 00:18:07,129 [vampires hissing] 440 00:18:07,173 --> 00:18:08,696 Stay back! Get back! 441 00:18:08,739 --> 00:18:10,567 [screams] 442 00:18:10,611 --> 00:18:13,179 [shouting, clamoring] 443 00:18:13,222 --> 00:18:14,832 We have to go! We have to go, sorry! 444 00:18:14,876 --> 00:18:15,964 [screams] 445 00:18:16,007 --> 00:18:17,183 [all hissing] 446 00:18:18,314 --> 00:18:20,011 [screams] 447 00:18:22,449 --> 00:18:24,755 CAMERAMAN: Fuck! 448 00:18:24,799 --> 00:18:26,366 [shouting] 449 00:18:26,409 --> 00:18:28,716 SHANICE: Where's Derek? I couldn't find Derek! 450 00:18:28,759 --> 00:18:31,197 -It's too late for him now. -Oh. Oh... 451 00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:34,200 -[snarling nearby] -[whimpering] 452 00:18:40,858 --> 00:18:44,079 We still have to get the van back to Derek's mom. 453 00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:45,515 CLAUDE: Yep. 454 00:18:45,559 --> 00:18:48,388 Sir... bob 455 00:18:48,431 --> 00:18:50,085 gel... 456 00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:54,307 dolph@yahoo.com. 457 00:18:54,350 --> 00:18:55,873 -There, it is done. -[grunts] 458 00:18:55,917 --> 00:18:57,353 That is ten e-mails. [laughs] 459 00:18:57,397 --> 00:18:58,833 LASZLO: So what do we do, wait till sunrise? 460 00:18:58,876 --> 00:19:00,617 How do we know that Sir Bob Geldolph 461 00:19:00,661 --> 00:19:02,619 -has that e-mail? -Uh... 462 00:19:02,663 --> 00:19:04,447 -[nearby thud] -Oh... 463 00:19:04,491 --> 00:19:06,667 Whoa, it's all right. 464 00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:08,973 NADJA: Oh, no! 465 00:19:09,017 --> 00:19:10,975 Don't fear, my darling. 466 00:19:11,019 --> 00:19:13,195 Laszlo, your forearm is not curse-proof! 467 00:19:13,239 --> 00:19:15,110 Please! 468 00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:17,547 All this is playing havoc with my guts. 469 00:19:17,591 --> 00:19:19,549 Talking about guts, I did tell you about Arianna 470 00:19:19,593 --> 00:19:21,986 -when her guts were dragged outon the doorstep? -Yes, yes! 471 00:19:22,030 --> 00:19:23,988 No, no, no, please! 472 00:19:24,032 --> 00:19:26,382 Bloody Mary, have mercy on us! 473 00:19:26,426 --> 00:19:29,298 Do not rip our guts out! 474 00:19:29,342 --> 00:19:31,213 Guillermo? 475 00:19:31,257 --> 00:19:33,259 You scared the shit out of us! 476 00:19:33,302 --> 00:19:36,349 What was that dilly-dallying at the door? 477 00:19:36,392 --> 00:19:38,481 Could you just come in like a normal person? 478 00:19:38,525 --> 00:19:40,222 The door's getting stuck again. 479 00:19:40,266 --> 00:19:42,224 I like tie-dye-- have you been to a concert? 480 00:19:42,268 --> 00:19:43,704 Yeah. Mm-hmm. 481 00:19:43,747 --> 00:19:46,446 The Tide to go pens were on sale, so you got some 482 00:19:46,489 --> 00:19:47,447 extra cash. 483 00:19:47,490 --> 00:19:49,927 Unforeseen riches. 484 00:19:49,971 --> 00:19:51,364 NADJA: Oh, the curse! 485 00:19:51,407 --> 00:19:53,453 -It has lifted! -[laughs] 486 00:19:53,496 --> 00:19:55,324 [all three clamoring] 487 00:19:57,544 --> 00:20:01,243 [stammers] You don't even know what this is about. 488 00:20:01,287 --> 00:20:03,289 Laszlo, now, really? 489 00:20:03,332 --> 00:20:06,117 LASZLO: Oh, yes. 490 00:20:06,161 --> 00:20:07,510 ♪ 491 00:20:10,948 --> 00:20:12,254 You know, while you were out running your errand, 492 00:20:12,298 --> 00:20:14,213 we were in very serious danger. 493 00:20:16,432 --> 00:20:18,521 Because of your machine. 494 00:20:18,565 --> 00:20:20,393 We could have been killed tonight. 495 00:20:20,436 --> 00:20:22,133 Did you know that? 496 00:20:22,177 --> 00:20:24,875 It was really scary. 497 00:20:24,919 --> 00:20:26,399 I'm sorry, Master. 498 00:20:26,442 --> 00:20:28,401 Guillermo? 499 00:20:28,444 --> 00:20:30,141 Yes? 500 00:20:30,185 --> 00:20:32,100 Would you mind staying for a few moments, 501 00:20:32,143 --> 00:20:34,320 just until I fall asleep? 502 00:20:34,363 --> 00:20:35,973 Of course. 503 00:20:36,017 --> 00:20:37,323 Thank you. 504 00:20:38,933 --> 00:20:40,326 Guillermo? 505 00:20:40,369 --> 00:20:41,501 Yes, Master? 506 00:20:43,372 --> 00:20:46,984 I don't wish to be murdered in my slumber. 507 00:20:47,028 --> 00:20:48,421 I know it's a little silly, 508 00:20:48,464 --> 00:20:50,858 because we defeated the curse. 509 00:20:50,901 --> 00:20:53,861 But with that and all these stories 510 00:20:53,904 --> 00:20:56,690 about vampires being murdered 511 00:20:56,733 --> 00:21:00,520 lately, I'm feeling a little... 512 00:21:00,563 --> 00:21:03,349 less fearless than I usually do. 513 00:21:03,392 --> 00:21:05,351 Just a little. 514 00:21:05,394 --> 00:21:07,178 -I'll stay, Master. -Thank you. 515 00:21:22,629 --> 00:21:24,848 I'm not asleep yet, Guillermo! 516 00:21:33,248 --> 00:21:35,424 ♪ I don't know how it♪ 517 00:21:35,468 --> 00:21:40,124 ♪ Done happened... ♪ 518 00:21:40,168 --> 00:21:44,868 ♪ The devil caught me napping♪ 519 00:21:47,175 --> 00:21:51,222 ♪ He must've come without a-rapping♪ 520 00:21:53,007 --> 00:21:56,663 ♪ Without a-rapping on my door♪ 521 00:21:59,056 --> 00:22:03,887 ♪ And he done took me flirting♪ 522 00:22:05,672 --> 00:22:09,328 ♪ But he and I♪ 523 00:22:11,242 --> 00:22:15,159 ♪ Don't talk no more♪ 524 00:22:15,203 --> 00:22:17,118 ♪ Baby, is you sure?♪ 525 00:22:21,557 --> 00:22:24,038 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 526 00:22:26,519 --> 00:22:28,564 COLIN: They had come highly recommended 527 00:22:28,608 --> 00:22:32,220 by a mutual vampire associate of ours, 528 00:22:32,263 --> 00:22:34,614 but nevertheless, I found it prudent 529 00:22:34,657 --> 00:22:36,877 -to run the traditional credit checks... -[yawns] 530 00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:38,531 ...and reference protocols. 531 00:22:38,574 --> 00:22:42,230 Suffice it to say, I am part of the 33% 532 00:22:42,273 --> 00:22:46,321 who find it necessary to utilizemy complementary credit check 533 00:22:46,365 --> 00:22:47,627 every year. 534 00:22:47,670 --> 00:22:49,759 [snoring] 535 00:22:49,803 --> 00:22:51,195 [hisses] 536 00:22:51,239 --> 00:22:52,675 [up-tempo music plays] 537 00:22:52,719 --> 00:22:53,937 [laughing] 538 00:22:54,851 --> 00:22:56,070 [squeaking] 539 00:22:57,724 --> 00:23:00,030 MAN: I had no idea what I would find 540 00:23:00,074 --> 00:23:01,815 when I went searching for my father. 541 00:23:01,858 --> 00:23:04,557 They flashed the Zodiac Killer,and my heart stopped. 542 00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:07,516 WOMAN: He believes he is the son of the Zodiac. 543 00:23:14,654 --> 00:23:15,698 What is Devs? 544 00:23:18,048 --> 00:23:19,572 What is Devs? 545 00:23:19,615 --> 00:23:20,442 What is Devs? 546 00:23:22,052 --> 00:23:23,706 What is Devs? 547 00:23:23,750 --> 00:23:24,664 [horn honks] 548 00:23:24,707 --> 00:23:25,534 What is Devs? 549 00:23:26,492 --> 00:23:27,493 What is Devs? 550 00:23:28,755 --> 00:23:29,495 What is Devs?