1
00:00:06,876 --> 00:00:08,660
[Laszlo laughs]
2
00:00:08,660 --> 00:00:10,271
Extraordinary.
3
00:00:10,271 --> 00:00:13,404
You will want
to get this on camera. Ha!
4
00:00:13,404 --> 00:00:15,319
Quickly. Gizmo!
5
00:00:15,319 --> 00:00:17,974
Gizmo? Gizmo, get up.
6
00:00:17,974 --> 00:00:20,281
- Yeah? Yeah?
- Where's Nandor?
7
00:00:20,281 --> 00:00:22,326
Um, I think he's, uh, indisposed
8
00:00:22,326 --> 00:00:24,459
at the moment, um,
in his bedroom.
9
00:00:24,459 --> 00:00:27,940
Ha, shaking hands with Rosie
Palmer and her five milkmaids.
10
00:00:27,940 --> 00:00:29,725
- What?
- What? Follow me.
11
00:00:29,725 --> 00:00:31,727
[Guillermo] Laszlo's still
the only one who knows
12
00:00:31,727 --> 00:00:34,382
I'm half-vampire and he's been
doing experiments to help.
13
00:00:34,382 --> 00:00:36,819
Happy to report that
there's been some progress.
14
00:00:36,819 --> 00:00:39,604
My telekinesis
has gotten better.
15
00:00:42,216 --> 00:00:44,174
[grunts]
16
00:00:44,174 --> 00:00:46,437
Pretty cool, huh?
17
00:00:46,437 --> 00:00:49,745
I have discovered something
wonderful with the frogs
18
00:00:49,745 --> 00:00:51,268
- that I injected
with your blood.
- Wait,
19
00:00:51,268 --> 00:00:53,053
you-you did what with my blood?
20
00:00:55,925 --> 00:00:57,492
- [chuckles]
- Why are they so hairy?
21
00:00:57,492 --> 00:00:59,189
Well, why are you so hairy?
Who cares?
22
00:00:59,189 --> 00:01:01,278
- Now, bon voyage.
- What? No!
23
00:01:01,278 --> 00:01:02,323
Those poor frogs!
24
00:01:03,367 --> 00:01:05,326
[croaking]
25
00:01:08,677 --> 00:01:10,070
[Laszlo]
Shit.
26
00:01:12,463 --> 00:01:14,770
- Come on, little guy,
come on, you can do it.
- Shh!
27
00:01:16,250 --> 00:01:17,164
- Your turn.
- To do what?
28
00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:18,339
I want you
29
00:01:18,339 --> 00:01:19,905
to leap off that balcony.
30
00:01:19,905 --> 00:01:21,211
What?
31
00:01:21,211 --> 00:01:22,865
No, I'll break my legs.
32
00:01:22,865 --> 00:01:24,867
- Bullshit. You saw those frogs.
- Yeah.
33
00:01:24,867 --> 00:01:27,130
They were transformed
by your blood, they flew.
34
00:01:27,130 --> 00:01:29,001
Ipso facto, shithead...
35
00:01:30,394 --> 00:01:31,787
...so can you.
36
00:01:31,787 --> 00:01:33,441
But what if I can't?
37
00:01:33,441 --> 00:01:35,095
Yeah, but what if you can?
38
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:36,748
What if you can?
39
00:01:36,748 --> 00:01:38,185
[chuckles softly]
40
00:01:38,185 --> 00:01:39,795
- That would be pretty cool.
- It would be
41
00:01:39,795 --> 00:01:42,058
very cool.
Now, I calculate
42
00:01:42,058 --> 00:01:44,016
we have exactly
two minutes before
43
00:01:44,016 --> 00:01:46,193
Nandor finishes
making pearl jam.
44
00:01:46,193 --> 00:01:48,760
- Right.
- So I'll see you at the bottom.
45
00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:50,458
As the actress said
to the bishop. [laughs]
46
00:01:50,458 --> 00:01:52,199
Come on, Guillermo.
47
00:01:52,199 --> 00:01:55,027
I believe in you
and I love you, Guillermo.
48
00:01:55,027 --> 00:01:56,377
Come on, Gizmo, let her rip.
49
00:01:56,377 --> 00:01:58,509
Launch yourself forward,
see what happens.
50
00:01:58,509 --> 00:02:00,772
- We should practice
closer to the floor first.
- No.
51
00:02:00,772 --> 00:02:02,078
No, no, no. You will never fly
52
00:02:02,078 --> 00:02:04,036
unless you need to. Panic is
53
00:02:04,036 --> 00:02:05,516
the secret ingredient.
Now, come on.
54
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,173
[breathing shakily]
55
00:02:10,173 --> 00:02:12,088
Aah--
56
00:02:12,088 --> 00:02:14,046
- [gasps]
- [chuckles]
57
00:02:14,046 --> 00:02:16,745
I'm doing it! [laughs]
58
00:02:16,745 --> 00:02:18,138
- [Nandor] Guillermo?
- Yes, Master--
59
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:20,140
- [screaming]
- [Laszlo laughing]
60
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,707
- That's how we all learned.
- [Guillermo whimpering]
61
00:02:22,707 --> 00:02:24,883
["You're Dead"
by Norma Tanega playing]
62
00:02:24,883 --> 00:02:27,190
♪ Don't sing if you want
to live long ♪
63
00:02:27,190 --> 00:02:29,888
♪ They have no use
for your song ♪
64
00:02:29,888 --> 00:02:32,326
♪ You're dead, you're dead,
you're dead ♪
65
00:02:32,326 --> 00:02:35,067
♪ You're dead
and out of this world ♪
66
00:02:37,026 --> 00:02:40,072
♪ Now your hope and compassion
is gone ♪
67
00:02:40,072 --> 00:02:42,814
♪ You sold out your dream
to the world ♪
68
00:02:42,814 --> 00:02:45,165
♪ Stay dead, stay dead,
stay dead ♪
69
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:47,036
♪ You're dead
and out of this world.♪
70
00:02:47,036 --> 00:02:49,125
♪ ♪
71
00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:59,701
- [Nandor] Oh, shit.
- [Guillermo whimpering]
72
00:02:59,701 --> 00:03:01,181
What is this screaming?
Is someone squeezing a snake?
73
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:02,965
Oh.
74
00:03:02,965 --> 00:03:05,315
- Fucking hell.
- [Nandor] What happened?
75
00:03:05,315 --> 00:03:07,230
Well, I don't know. I was in
the library. Don't look at me.
76
00:03:07,230 --> 00:03:08,840
Does it hurt?
77
00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:10,929
Because it looks
like it really hurts.
78
00:03:10,929 --> 00:03:12,801
- Hey, boners.
- [Laszlo] What?
79
00:03:12,801 --> 00:03:14,194
Nice shiner, Colin Robinson.
80
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:17,284
Hey, look at this dude.
81
00:03:17,284 --> 00:03:18,937
[Nadja] Someone's had
an interesting evening.
82
00:03:18,937 --> 00:03:20,417
- Please help me.
- [Colin] Wow.
83
00:03:20,417 --> 00:03:22,114
What happened to dingus' foot?
84
00:03:22,114 --> 00:03:23,377
[Laszlo]
Who gives a fuck?
85
00:03:23,377 --> 00:03:24,987
Tell us what happened
to your blackened eye.
86
00:03:24,987 --> 00:03:26,380
Yes, was it fisticuffs?
87
00:03:26,380 --> 00:03:28,164
[gasps]
Did you get kicked by a donkey?
88
00:03:28,164 --> 00:03:29,992
Stop guessing
and stop grabbing me.
89
00:03:29,992 --> 00:03:31,820
This is the problem.
90
00:03:31,820 --> 00:03:33,735
Take it easy, summer breezy.
91
00:03:33,735 --> 00:03:35,867
[Colin] Every time
I go to drain someone,
92
00:03:35,867 --> 00:03:38,218
they see my black eye
and want to know what happened.
93
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:41,003
All of a sudden, I'm too...
G-damn interesting
94
00:03:41,003 --> 00:03:42,134
to drain anyone.
95
00:03:42,134 --> 00:03:44,006
- What the fuck?
- [Nandor] Really?
96
00:03:44,006 --> 00:03:45,703
You think you are
too interesting?
97
00:03:45,703 --> 00:03:47,749
I know I am. I mean,
98
00:03:47,749 --> 00:03:49,316
this exact same thing happened
when I came back from Vietnam.
99
00:03:49,316 --> 00:03:51,361
[Nandor]
Whoa.
100
00:03:51,361 --> 00:03:54,190
- You were in 'Nam?
- [Laszlo] Well, thank you
for your service.
101
00:03:54,190 --> 00:03:56,801
Colin Robinson, I had
no idea you were in the Army.
102
00:03:56,801 --> 00:03:58,412
Oh, I-I wasn't in the Army.
103
00:03:58,412 --> 00:04:00,022
About six years ago,
104
00:04:00,022 --> 00:04:01,806
I took a cycling trip
with Backroads.
105
00:04:01,806 --> 00:04:03,852
- [groans]
- On the third day, we found
106
00:04:03,852 --> 00:04:05,680
a dead body. In a tree.
107
00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:06,724
[Nandor]
No kidding?
108
00:04:06,724 --> 00:04:09,031
With an ox's asshole
109
00:04:09,031 --> 00:04:11,686
around its neck like a necklace.
110
00:04:11,686 --> 00:04:13,427
- What?
- How did that happen?
111
00:04:13,427 --> 00:04:16,125
Some poor farmer and his ox
must've stepped
112
00:04:16,125 --> 00:04:18,040
on a decommissioned
land mine and...
113
00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:20,390
blew him up into the tree
and the ox's
114
00:04:20,390 --> 00:04:22,174
asshole must've
landed on his head.
115
00:04:22,174 --> 00:04:23,785
- [Laszlo] Good grief.
- Fascinating.
116
00:04:23,785 --> 00:04:25,700
I wasn't expecting that ending.
117
00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:28,006
[Colin]
See? It's the black eye-- makes
118
00:04:28,006 --> 00:04:29,486
- my stories too interesting.
- Do you think
119
00:04:29,486 --> 00:04:31,923
that your black eye also has
a very interesting story?
120
00:04:31,923 --> 00:04:35,275
Unfortunately, yes,
it's fucking remarkable.
121
00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:36,363
[Laszlo]
But this is Colin Robinson.
122
00:04:36,363 --> 00:04:37,842
I mean, he can't have any more
123
00:04:37,842 --> 00:04:39,757
fascinating stories in him.
124
00:04:39,757 --> 00:04:42,891
Gee, you tell me.
A five-pound frozen block
125
00:04:42,891 --> 00:04:45,850
of shit and piss
fall off a plane, landing
126
00:04:45,850 --> 00:04:48,418
- on a 308 Ferrari
- [Nadja] No way.
127
00:04:48,418 --> 00:04:50,986
and blowing the sideview mirror
right into my kisser.
128
00:04:50,986 --> 00:04:52,770
Well, fuck my old boots.
129
00:04:52,770 --> 00:04:54,511
Son of a bitch!
130
00:04:54,511 --> 00:04:57,340
- Frozen blocks
of pisses and shits?
- [Colin] Yes.
131
00:04:57,340 --> 00:04:58,820
- What will they think of next?
- [Guillermo moaning]
132
00:04:58,820 --> 00:05:01,039
Guillermo, oi...
133
00:05:01,039 --> 00:05:03,172
No, fuck this,
I want to stay here
134
00:05:03,172 --> 00:05:05,087
and listen
to his wonderful stories.
135
00:05:05,087 --> 00:05:07,785
- Yes, me too.
- Guillermo is your familiar.
136
00:05:07,785 --> 00:05:09,744
I just went to get him
new trousers a year ago.
137
00:05:09,744 --> 00:05:11,136
It is your turn.
138
00:05:11,136 --> 00:05:13,095
Fine. Fuck it. Whatever.
139
00:05:13,095 --> 00:05:15,271
Okay, Guillermo,
stop lying around.
140
00:05:15,271 --> 00:05:17,404
Let's get that [speaks Greek]
of yours looked at.
141
00:05:17,404 --> 00:05:19,884
[Laszlo]
Come on, boys, to the lab.
142
00:05:19,884 --> 00:05:22,234
- Tell me more
about this ox's anus.
- [Guillermo] It really hurts.
143
00:05:22,234 --> 00:05:24,019
Okay already,
I said we're going.
144
00:05:24,019 --> 00:05:26,064
Oh! Laszlo, my love,
145
00:05:26,064 --> 00:05:27,762
did you just see a hairy frog?
146
00:05:27,762 --> 00:05:29,285
The only hairy frog
I'm interested in,
147
00:05:29,285 --> 00:05:31,679
my darling,
is the one between your legs.
148
00:05:31,679 --> 00:05:32,854
It's not just a frog.
149
00:05:32,854 --> 00:05:34,899
- It's the whole swamp.
- True.
150
00:05:34,899 --> 00:05:36,684
[laughs]
Come on.
151
00:05:36,684 --> 00:05:38,207
Off you go, my love.
152
00:05:38,207 --> 00:05:40,122
[door opens, closes]
153
00:05:40,122 --> 00:05:42,298
[whistles]
154
00:05:42,298 --> 00:05:44,779
Where are you?
Come on, boy. [whistles]
155
00:05:44,779 --> 00:05:46,824
Come on, boy.
Where the fuck are you,
156
00:05:46,824 --> 00:05:48,391
you fucking frog?
157
00:05:48,391 --> 00:05:50,785
Are either of you
allergic to penicillin?
158
00:05:50,785 --> 00:05:52,352
- No.
- What is that?
159
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,310
Just ragweed
160
00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:56,225
- and chewing gum.
- Chewing gum?
161
00:05:56,225 --> 00:05:58,749
- How unusual.
- That is unusual.
- Guys, guys.
162
00:05:58,749 --> 00:06:00,185
You're literally killing me.
163
00:06:00,185 --> 00:06:02,710
Right, let's crack on.
When I flick this switch,
164
00:06:02,710 --> 00:06:03,972
the lights will flash,
there'll be a horrible noise
165
00:06:03,972 --> 00:06:05,277
and a terrible odor
166
00:06:05,277 --> 00:06:07,018
as I transfer
the life energy from Nandor
167
00:06:07,018 --> 00:06:08,977
into Colin Robinson.
168
00:06:08,977 --> 00:06:10,979
Sorry, Laszlo,
I do have one question.
169
00:06:10,979 --> 00:06:12,937
- [Laszlo] Which is?
- Will it hurt?
170
00:06:12,937 --> 00:06:14,417
Pain like you've never known.
171
00:06:14,417 --> 00:06:16,680
And furthermore, if you're
overdrained, you could die.
172
00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:17,942
Fuck this, I'm out.
173
00:06:17,942 --> 00:06:19,161
- What?
- W-Wait a minute.
174
00:06:19,161 --> 00:06:20,728
I'm starving.
175
00:06:20,728 --> 00:06:22,338
And you will be fed,
Colin Robinson.
176
00:06:22,338 --> 00:06:24,427
But I think we should revert
to our original plan.
177
00:06:24,427 --> 00:06:27,038
- The original plan? Are you mad?
- [Nandor] I think
it's a pretty good plan.
178
00:06:27,038 --> 00:06:28,649
We cover your black eye
with makeup
179
00:06:28,649 --> 00:06:30,215
and make you boring again.
180
00:06:30,215 --> 00:06:32,392
It does seem a lot simpler.
181
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,437
- Let's do that.
- [Laszlo] All right.
182
00:06:34,437 --> 00:06:36,308
- Cowards.
- [Colin] Makes sense.
183
00:06:36,308 --> 00:06:39,094
Turn your back on science
at your own peril.
184
00:06:39,094 --> 00:06:41,052
- We'll take our chances.
Thank you, Laszlo.
- Yeah.
185
00:06:41,052 --> 00:06:43,011
[Guillermo] [grunts]
Seriously, Nadja,
186
00:06:43,011 --> 00:06:45,013
I don't need urgent care.
I can just sleep it off.
187
00:06:45,013 --> 00:06:46,754
Do you really think
I want to doing this?
188
00:06:46,754 --> 00:06:48,712
If it was up to me, I would have
just packed your ankle
189
00:06:48,712 --> 00:06:50,671
in some mud made from fish piss
190
00:06:50,671 --> 00:06:52,237
and fed you some
pickled pig's ears.
191
00:06:52,237 --> 00:06:55,110
But, no, my husband
thinks a doctor is better.
192
00:06:55,110 --> 00:06:57,417
[imitates Laszlo]
"Trust the science, my darling."
193
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,201
- [spits]
- [Guillermo] I don't know
what's going on
194
00:06:59,201 --> 00:07:01,029
with my body right now,
but if a doctor finds out
195
00:07:01,029 --> 00:07:03,205
that I'm almost a vampire,
I'm a dead man.
196
00:07:03,205 --> 00:07:05,381
And if Nadja finds out,
it'll be worse, so--
197
00:07:05,381 --> 00:07:07,296
- [shrieks]
- Stop squirming, Guillermo,
we're very close now.
198
00:07:07,296 --> 00:07:09,298
No, you know what?
I feel a lot better.
199
00:07:09,298 --> 00:07:11,996
The vampire doctor is going
to fix your mangled foot.
200
00:07:11,996 --> 00:07:13,955
What? You said
we were going to urgent care.
201
00:07:13,955 --> 00:07:15,260
Yes, Familiar Urgent Care, silly.
202
00:07:15,260 --> 00:07:17,915
No. No, Nadja, no!
203
00:07:20,004 --> 00:07:24,531
Oh, just look at all
these people to feed from.
204
00:07:24,531 --> 00:07:27,316
I don't know, I kind of
feel like I want go home
205
00:07:27,316 --> 00:07:30,058
- and take the train
to sleepy town.
- No!
206
00:07:30,058 --> 00:07:32,234
It would be a sleep of death.
207
00:07:32,234 --> 00:07:34,323
Just take a look
at all these losers, hmm?
208
00:07:34,323 --> 00:07:36,194
[Colin]
Outdoor diners.
209
00:07:36,194 --> 00:07:38,283
- They do deserve it.
- [Nandor] Yes.
210
00:07:38,283 --> 00:07:40,155
- Great start.
- Uh, excuse me.
211
00:07:40,155 --> 00:07:42,070
Hello.
212
00:07:42,070 --> 00:07:44,376
I notice you have a d...
Oh. Ooh.
213
00:07:44,376 --> 00:07:46,204
- You got this.
- [Colin] Doggie bag.
214
00:07:46,204 --> 00:07:49,251
Interesting story
about how the...
215
00:07:49,251 --> 00:07:52,080
origin of the doggie bag started.
216
00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:55,257
It was actually a-- Ow!
217
00:07:55,257 --> 00:07:56,998
- [man] Oh, shit!
- [Colin] Son of a bitch!
218
00:07:56,998 --> 00:07:59,522
World War II, they would
219
00:07:59,522 --> 00:08:01,350
- take food home for their dog
- [woman] Did you see that?
220
00:08:01,350 --> 00:08:03,570
- instead of wasting it.
- [people chattering]
221
00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:05,093
Don't look at me!
222
00:08:05,093 --> 00:08:06,529
This isn't interesting.
223
00:08:06,529 --> 00:08:08,183
What have you done?
224
00:08:08,183 --> 00:08:10,664
Someone ran over my foot,
shithead. It hurt.
225
00:08:10,664 --> 00:08:13,449
- Tell them to go away.
- Nothing interesting here.
Keep moving, please.
226
00:08:13,449 --> 00:08:15,451
Stop filming me!
227
00:08:15,451 --> 00:08:17,322
- Are you okay?
- No, I'm not okay.
- Shoo!
228
00:08:17,322 --> 00:08:19,194
He needs privacy.
229
00:08:19,194 --> 00:08:21,370
- It is fine.
- [Colin] Nandor, take me home.
230
00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:22,458
I'm taking you home.
We're gonna go home.
231
00:08:22,458 --> 00:08:24,634
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
Are you okay?
232
00:08:24,634 --> 00:08:26,549
- No!
- [man] What the fuck?
That's the dude from Mad Men.
233
00:08:26,549 --> 00:08:28,029
Oh, for fuck's sake.
234
00:08:28,029 --> 00:08:29,465
[man 2]
Oh, where's your martini, bud?
235
00:08:29,465 --> 00:08:31,162
- Hi.
- [Colin] You got to
be kidding me.
236
00:08:31,162 --> 00:08:32,990
[man 2] Damn, you just
got hit by John Slattery.
237
00:08:32,990 --> 00:08:34,209
- That is crazy.
- What the heck happened?
238
00:08:34,209 --> 00:08:36,037
You stepped off the curb
without even looking.
239
00:08:36,037 --> 00:08:37,691
What happened
is you ran over my foot!
240
00:08:37,691 --> 00:08:39,606
We really need to go.
My friend is not well.
241
00:08:39,606 --> 00:08:41,216
Let me drive you
to the hospital. I-I just
242
00:08:41,216 --> 00:08:42,565
played a-a doctor on a season
of The Good Fight.
243
00:08:42,565 --> 00:08:43,914
They love me over there.
244
00:08:43,914 --> 00:08:45,350
That was a really good episode.
245
00:08:45,350 --> 00:08:47,265
It doesn't even
really hurt that much
246
00:08:47,265 --> 00:08:48,702
- anymore.
- Well, I'll-I'll
drive you home, please?
247
00:08:48,702 --> 00:08:50,486
- It's the least I can do.
- You know what?
248
00:08:50,486 --> 00:08:52,401
We will accept
your generous offer.
249
00:08:52,401 --> 00:08:53,663
- Yes, yes.
- What the fuck are you doing?
250
00:08:53,663 --> 00:08:55,230
[man]
Hey, John, over here.
251
00:08:55,230 --> 00:08:56,971
We will be in that car alone
252
00:08:56,971 --> 00:08:58,450
with this gentleman
that owes you a debt.
253
00:08:58,450 --> 00:09:00,148
Which you will collect
254
00:09:00,148 --> 00:09:02,150
by feeding.
255
00:09:02,150 --> 00:09:04,065
- Hmm?
- Yeah.
256
00:09:04,065 --> 00:09:06,894
John Slattery coming to the aid
of the guy he just ran over.
257
00:09:06,894 --> 00:09:08,591
- Shotgun left.
- Fuck!
258
00:09:08,591 --> 00:09:10,941
- John Slattery, please.
- [man] You're a hero, John.
259
00:09:10,941 --> 00:09:12,464
- [man 2] One of the greats.
- [Colin] He's not
one of the greats.
260
00:09:12,464 --> 00:09:14,336
- He's a reckless driver.
- [man] You're a reckless
261
00:09:14,336 --> 00:09:15,511
- walker.
- Peasants, disperse!
262
00:09:15,511 --> 00:09:16,904
- Begone!
- [man] He call us peasants?
263
00:09:16,904 --> 00:09:19,602
- [crowd groans]
- [man] Oh, rude.
264
00:09:19,602 --> 00:09:21,430
[Guillermo] Animal hospital? Why
are we-why are we going here?
265
00:09:21,430 --> 00:09:24,128
Ow! [grunting]
266
00:09:24,128 --> 00:09:26,304
- [whispering] This is for pets.
I'm not a dog.
- Shh! Potato, "potahto."
267
00:09:26,304 --> 00:09:28,959
[normal volume] Um, yes, hello,
um, I've got a broken familiar.
268
00:09:28,959 --> 00:09:31,396
- So, you're gonna want
to go around that corner--
- Yeah, I've been here before.
269
00:09:31,396 --> 00:09:34,182
There is nothing to see here.
270
00:09:34,182 --> 00:09:37,533
It is just a Doberman
with a floppy tail.
271
00:09:38,969 --> 00:09:40,188
- Hold on tight.
- Wait, where are we going?
272
00:09:40,188 --> 00:09:41,493
- Uh, through the wall.
- No, no stop!
273
00:09:41,493 --> 00:09:43,104
- That's a solid wall.
- No, it's not.
274
00:09:43,104 --> 00:09:47,151
No. No! No!
[gasping] Okay.
275
00:09:47,151 --> 00:09:49,153
- That was kind of cool.
- It's just a common cold,
so there's gonna be sneezing
276
00:09:49,153 --> 00:09:52,243
and coughing and that
is gonna be a burden on you,
277
00:09:52,243 --> 00:09:55,986
so I have a recommendation.
And that is put her down.
278
00:09:55,986 --> 00:09:58,423
- Oh, gosh, you really think so?
- [doctor] Even if she recovers
279
00:09:58,423 --> 00:10:01,165
from this cold, she's...
280
00:10:01,165 --> 00:10:03,037
good God, she's, like,
almost 40.
281
00:10:03,037 --> 00:10:04,952
She might squeeze out
a few more good years,
282
00:10:04,952 --> 00:10:06,649
but we're talking
quality of life.
283
00:10:06,649 --> 00:10:08,390
Okay, let's do it.
284
00:10:08,390 --> 00:10:10,174
No, fuck this. I'm out of here.
285
00:10:10,174 --> 00:10:12,002
Oh, calm, down, it'll be okay.
286
00:10:12,002 --> 00:10:13,482
No!
287
00:10:13,482 --> 00:10:15,484
[Nadja]
Got a live one. [laughs]
288
00:10:15,484 --> 00:10:18,269
- Thanks, guys.
- [doctor] Sedate him, Jack.
- No.
289
00:10:18,269 --> 00:10:19,488
- [Nadja] Fantastic.
- [doctor] That's it.
290
00:10:19,488 --> 00:10:21,142
[Nadja] Aw.
291
00:10:21,142 --> 00:10:22,970
Sweet dreams, Guillermo.
292
00:10:22,970 --> 00:10:24,580
- [laughs]
- [doctor] Yeah, perfect.
293
00:10:24,580 --> 00:10:27,104
[John]
You, uh, you okay back there?
294
00:10:27,104 --> 00:10:29,237
You look like shit.
295
00:10:29,237 --> 00:10:31,500
Well, yeah, I mean,
you ran over my foot.
296
00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:34,503
Sorry about all the cell phone
pictures and stuff.
297
00:10:34,503 --> 00:10:36,026
You know, you would
that people in New York
298
00:10:36,026 --> 00:10:37,637
would have seen
a famous actor before.
299
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,508
It is quite all right,
John Slattery.
300
00:10:39,508 --> 00:10:41,728
You have our gratitude.
301
00:10:41,728 --> 00:10:43,773
[whispers] Drain him.
302
00:10:43,773 --> 00:10:45,688
[normal volume]
Do you find it, uh, difficult?
303
00:10:45,688 --> 00:10:48,038
What?
304
00:10:48,038 --> 00:10:50,127
Do you find it difficult
305
00:10:50,127 --> 00:10:52,129
being an older actor?
306
00:10:52,129 --> 00:10:54,349
Having to memorize lines?
307
00:10:54,349 --> 00:10:56,351
Especially
when you've been drinking.
308
00:10:56,351 --> 00:10:58,483
Slattery-- that's
an Irish name, right?
309
00:10:58,483 --> 00:11:00,616
Wait, s-say
that last part again.
310
00:11:00,616 --> 00:11:02,923
What, "Slattery's
an Irish name"?
311
00:11:02,923 --> 00:11:06,230
I mean, I personally
don't mind the Irish.
312
00:11:06,230 --> 00:11:09,146
But I just don't like it when
they try to sound intelligent.
313
00:11:09,146 --> 00:11:11,627
Huh, wow.
314
00:11:11,627 --> 00:11:14,717
I could listen
to you talk for hours.
315
00:11:14,717 --> 00:11:17,328
- Exsqueeze me?
- I mean, not to what you're
saying, but to that accent.
316
00:11:17,328 --> 00:11:19,722
It's just so specific.
Where are you from?
317
00:11:19,722 --> 00:11:21,506
- Well...
- Wait, wait, wait,
don't tell me. Upper Midwest.
318
00:11:21,506 --> 00:11:24,292
For sure. Uh, Wisconsin?
319
00:11:24,292 --> 00:11:26,207
But not eastern Wisconsin,
that would have more of
320
00:11:26,207 --> 00:11:28,383
a Germanic influence to it,
am I right?
321
00:11:28,383 --> 00:11:30,994
Are you, like, prepping
for a role or something?
322
00:11:30,994 --> 00:11:33,344
No, this isn't for a role.
I just love accents.
323
00:11:33,344 --> 00:11:35,303
People are just
walking stories, you know?
324
00:11:35,303 --> 00:11:38,349
In all their fascination
and specificity.
325
00:11:38,349 --> 00:11:39,481
You ever see
the movie Spotlight?
326
00:11:39,481 --> 00:11:42,353
About the Boston Globe reporters
327
00:11:42,353 --> 00:11:46,096
who uncovered the sexual abuse
coverup in the Catholic church?
328
00:11:46,096 --> 00:11:48,229
- Yeah, exactly.
- No.
329
00:11:48,229 --> 00:11:50,231
Oh. Well, in that
I played Ben Bradlee, Jr.
330
00:11:50,231 --> 00:11:52,276
And that character begins
with the accent,
331
00:11:52,276 --> 00:11:54,714
because the real Bradlee
is from Boston.
332
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:57,412
But he's an upper-crust guy.
333
00:11:57,412 --> 00:11:58,543
[Boston accent]
Not like some jamoke standing
334
00:11:58,543 --> 00:12:00,284
around Kelly's Tavern
335
00:12:00,284 --> 00:12:02,286
in, uh, Revere Beach,
you know what I mean?
336
00:12:02,286 --> 00:12:04,071
- Very good, John Slattery.
- [regular accent] Not bad, right?
337
00:12:04,071 --> 00:12:06,290
- But I was talking to him.
- Oh.
338
00:12:06,290 --> 00:12:08,249
[John]
You know, it's funny, I had this
babysitter when I was a kid.
339
00:12:08,249 --> 00:12:09,990
She was Irish.
Her name was Vivian.
340
00:12:09,990 --> 00:12:12,470
But again, sorry for your loss.
341
00:12:12,470 --> 00:12:14,559
She was just a familiar,
but thank you.
342
00:12:14,559 --> 00:12:16,953
It is kind of nice
to think of Cathy
343
00:12:16,953 --> 00:12:18,650
on that rainbow bridge,
344
00:12:18,650 --> 00:12:20,609
doing stuff with
her familiar friends.
345
00:12:20,609 --> 00:12:23,264
Having spaghetti or whatever
it is they dream of doing.
346
00:12:23,264 --> 00:12:25,527
Well, they're
in a better place now.
347
00:12:25,527 --> 00:12:27,398
- Yes.
- [mutters] I wish I was.
348
00:12:27,398 --> 00:12:30,053
- I'm looking for a Nadja.
- [normal volume] Oh, yes.
349
00:12:30,053 --> 00:12:32,186
- Please, can we go?
- Well,
350
00:12:32,186 --> 00:12:34,057
Guillermo's ankle
is healing up nicely,
351
00:12:34,057 --> 00:12:36,451
which is very unusual, so...
352
00:12:36,451 --> 00:12:39,323
just to be safe...
I say we put him down.
353
00:12:39,323 --> 00:12:40,672
He could break that ankle again,
354
00:12:40,672 --> 00:12:42,500
he could break
the other ankle or
355
00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:44,372
- he could just bitch a lot.
- Hmm.
356
00:12:44,372 --> 00:12:46,243
Think we're just gonna
take him home.
357
00:12:46,243 --> 00:12:48,158
All right.
Well, that is your choice.
358
00:12:48,158 --> 00:12:50,160
- Yes.
- Oh, there's one more thing.
359
00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:52,641
The results of that blood work
came back and they're very odd,
360
00:12:52,641 --> 00:12:55,165
so I'm just gonna have it
retested, will not take long.
361
00:12:55,165 --> 00:12:57,951
I promise I'm gonna get you
out of here well before sunrise.
362
00:12:57,951 --> 00:12:59,126
[woman screaming in distance]
363
00:12:59,126 --> 00:13:00,605
[Nadja]
Now I'm thinking,
364
00:13:00,605 --> 00:13:02,607
"They're going to
test him again?"
365
00:13:02,607 --> 00:13:04,261
What if they find
that Van Helsing muck
366
00:13:04,261 --> 00:13:05,654
in his blood? [spits]
367
00:13:05,654 --> 00:13:07,134
I'm going to have to
get him out of here.
368
00:13:08,352 --> 00:13:09,963
[Colin]
Why are we heading towards
369
00:13:09,963 --> 00:13:11,660
the Verrazzano Bridge?
370
00:13:11,660 --> 00:13:14,445
Uh, are you-are you
taking us to Brooklyn?
371
00:13:14,445 --> 00:13:16,447
[imitating Colin] Are you taking
us to Brooklyn? Are you...
372
00:13:16,447 --> 00:13:17,709
[regular voice]
That-- It's really-- That's
a tough one. It's got kind
373
00:13:17,709 --> 00:13:19,407
of a twang to it.
Say something else.
374
00:13:19,407 --> 00:13:21,322
I don't want to go to Brooklyn.
375
00:13:21,322 --> 00:13:22,976
[John imitates Colin]
I don't want to go to Brooklyn?
376
00:13:22,976 --> 00:13:24,499
[regular voice] There's
a little bit of an uptalk there.
377
00:13:24,499 --> 00:13:26,196
[imitates Colin]
I don't want to go to Brooklyn?
378
00:13:26,196 --> 00:13:27,154
- Can you let us out right h--
- [imitating Colin] Can you
379
00:13:27,154 --> 00:13:29,243
let us out right here, please?
380
00:13:29,243 --> 00:13:30,026
[regular voice]
You also have these interesting
381
00:13:30,026 --> 00:13:31,549
pauses in your speech, but
382
00:13:31,549 --> 00:13:34,248
I can't tell if they're regional
or uniquely you or...
383
00:13:34,248 --> 00:13:36,032
It's just the most
interesting accent
384
00:13:36,032 --> 00:13:38,034
- I've ever heard.
- Okay, fuck this.
385
00:13:38,034 --> 00:13:39,601
[John]
I mean, where are you from?
I'm sorry, guys. That's kind of
386
00:13:39,601 --> 00:13:41,516
mean, right? I'm not trying
to make fun of you,
387
00:13:41,516 --> 00:13:42,604
I'm just trying to get it
in my head, you know,
388
00:13:42,604 --> 00:13:44,171
it's all about muscle memory.
389
00:13:44,171 --> 00:13:45,520
Guillermo?
390
00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:47,739
Guillermo!
391
00:13:47,739 --> 00:13:50,220
Guillermo, why the hell
are you wearing a dress?
392
00:13:50,220 --> 00:13:53,006
Hey, Nandor, you made it.
Hey, girl.
393
00:13:53,006 --> 00:13:54,529
Get your shit together,
we got to go.
394
00:13:54,529 --> 00:13:56,531
No, I want to lie down.
You know they gave me
395
00:13:56,531 --> 00:13:59,055
some relax and it's making me
feel very medicine.
396
00:13:59,055 --> 00:14:01,014
[speaks Greek]
They are testing your blood
397
00:14:01,014 --> 00:14:03,233
and they're going to find
your Van Helsing germs
398
00:14:03,233 --> 00:14:05,105
and whatever else you've
got going on in there and then
399
00:14:05,105 --> 00:14:07,194
- they're going to kill you,
so let's go!
- That sounds serious.
400
00:14:07,194 --> 00:14:08,586
Can I say something?
401
00:14:08,586 --> 00:14:11,024
- Nadja?
- What?
402
00:14:11,024 --> 00:14:13,896
I think you're wonderful
and I love-- Ow!
403
00:14:13,896 --> 00:14:17,160
You're a crazy bitch.
But I love you.
404
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:18,901
You know who else I love
is Laszlo.
405
00:14:18,901 --> 00:14:20,990
But he's a horny little bitch.
406
00:14:20,990 --> 00:14:23,036
I also love Colin Robinson.
407
00:14:23,036 --> 00:14:24,951
He's, like,
a little boring bitch.
408
00:14:24,951 --> 00:14:26,561
Like, he's like an LBB.
409
00:14:26,561 --> 00:14:29,607
But, you know, the one I love
the most is actually Nandor.
410
00:14:29,607 --> 00:14:31,696
- Because he's, like,
the queen bitch.
- [tapping on glass]
411
00:14:31,696 --> 00:14:33,263
- [Nadja exclaims]
- Is that crazy?
412
00:14:33,263 --> 00:14:34,699
Hey. Who's that bitch?
413
00:14:34,699 --> 00:14:37,615
Wow, you are
such a miracle worker.
414
00:14:37,615 --> 00:14:39,704
He is back to a red, shiny,
415
00:14:39,704 --> 00:14:42,011
fresh apple, so,
think we're gonna get
416
00:14:42,011 --> 00:14:43,230
- the ol' dog home now.
[chuckles]
- Yeah.
417
00:14:43,230 --> 00:14:44,579
I don't think
that's gonna happen.
418
00:14:44,579 --> 00:14:45,536
I have a question for you.
419
00:14:45,536 --> 00:14:47,364
Who turned him?
420
00:14:47,364 --> 00:14:48,931
Who what?
421
00:14:48,931 --> 00:14:50,977
According to his blood,
422
00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:52,674
this familiar has been turned
into a vampire.
423
00:14:52,674 --> 00:14:55,459
Yes, it's early stages,
but he is well on his way.
424
00:14:55,459 --> 00:14:57,548
No, I'm sorry,
there's been a huge mistake.
425
00:14:57,548 --> 00:15:00,290
Are you regretting turning him?
Because if you are,
426
00:15:00,290 --> 00:15:02,118
you should have thought
of that before you did it.
427
00:15:02,118 --> 00:15:03,990
- Guillermo?
- Yeah.
428
00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:05,426
- A vampire?
- Yes.
429
00:15:05,426 --> 00:15:06,514
That thing?
430
00:15:06,514 --> 00:15:08,429
That loser is a vampire?
431
00:15:08,429 --> 00:15:10,083
Absolutely not.
432
00:15:10,083 --> 00:15:11,432
Have you seen how lame he is?
433
00:15:11,432 --> 00:15:12,563
Science does not lie.
434
00:15:12,563 --> 00:15:14,000
Now, it must be recent
435
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:15,523
because he's still transforming.
436
00:15:15,523 --> 00:15:18,439
No one in our house
would do such a thing.
437
00:15:18,439 --> 00:15:20,571
Well, then we have
a very big problem, 'cause
438
00:15:20,571 --> 00:15:22,269
I'm gonna put him down.
439
00:15:22,269 --> 00:15:24,619
Well, you can't
do that because...
440
00:15:24,619 --> 00:15:26,447
He is our familiar!
441
00:15:26,447 --> 00:15:28,840
- You need to let him go.
- Get your hands off of me!
442
00:15:30,364 --> 00:15:32,061
[exhales]
443
00:15:32,061 --> 00:15:34,368
Guillermo? Guillermo?
444
00:15:34,368 --> 00:15:39,460
Guillermo! Guillermo!
445
00:15:41,549 --> 00:15:43,551
[Nadja]
Guillermo!
446
00:15:43,551 --> 00:15:45,553
Guillermo, snap out of it.
447
00:15:45,553 --> 00:15:47,468
They think you are
a bastard vampire
448
00:15:47,468 --> 00:15:48,643
And they're going to kill you.
449
00:15:48,643 --> 00:15:49,774
- Guillermo?
- [doctor] Come on, girl.
450
00:15:49,774 --> 00:15:51,124
Get out!
451
00:15:51,124 --> 00:15:52,952
Guillermo.
452
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:55,476
Guillermo? Hello?
453
00:15:55,476 --> 00:15:57,826
Sorry. [chuckles] Guillermo?
454
00:15:57,826 --> 00:15:59,959
Guillermo?
455
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,048
Nadja, hi.
456
00:16:02,048 --> 00:16:03,701
What? You work here?
457
00:16:03,701 --> 00:16:05,486
Volunteer, actually.
458
00:16:05,486 --> 00:16:07,662
It's a way of giving back.
459
00:16:07,662 --> 00:16:09,969
I mean, who rescued who, right?
460
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:12,449
- Have you seen Guillermo?
- Guillermo?
461
00:16:12,449 --> 00:16:14,495
Oh, no, no, not here.
462
00:16:14,495 --> 00:16:16,453
This place is just for strays.
463
00:16:16,453 --> 00:16:18,934
- I have a family.
- Hey! Eat your chicken!
464
00:16:18,934 --> 00:16:20,980
- [whispers] He's not
gonna make it.
- I can hear you.
465
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,982
Guillermo! Open!
466
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:24,940
Guillermo.
467
00:16:24,940 --> 00:16:27,334
[Colin]
Uh, I don't...
think I can make it.
468
00:16:27,334 --> 00:16:29,510
[Nandor]
Of course you're gonna make it.
I know this is difficult,
469
00:16:29,510 --> 00:16:31,729
but you've got
to be strong, okay?
470
00:16:31,729 --> 00:16:35,472
I want you to go in here
and ask to use the toilet.
471
00:16:35,472 --> 00:16:38,301
Then I want you to ask
for a sanitary wipe.
472
00:16:38,301 --> 00:16:40,260
Then I want you to ask
473
00:16:40,260 --> 00:16:42,175
when the last time
they cleaned the toilet.
474
00:16:42,175 --> 00:16:43,480
Then I want you to tell them
475
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,221
you're gonna take
a nice big shit, okay?
476
00:16:45,221 --> 00:16:47,354
It's gonna buy you
a few more hours of energy.
477
00:16:47,354 --> 00:16:50,313
- Whoa! Get the fuck out!
- [Colin] Oh, fuck.
478
00:16:50,313 --> 00:16:52,446
- May I use your toilet?
- Wait a minute, wait a minute.
479
00:16:52,446 --> 00:16:54,839
Yo!
480
00:16:54,839 --> 00:16:56,580
It's my guy from TikTok.
481
00:16:56,580 --> 00:16:58,626
What?
482
00:16:58,626 --> 00:17:00,671
Whoa!
Nobody fucking move.
483
00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:05,372
♪ Jump around...♪
484
00:17:05,372 --> 00:17:06,590
[Nandor]
Colin Robinson, that's you.
485
00:17:06,590 --> 00:17:08,244
- [Colin] Oh,
for crying out loud.
- Yeah.
486
00:17:08,244 --> 00:17:10,246
[Nandor]
How did they make this
so quick? And the music?
487
00:17:10,246 --> 00:17:11,769
Aah!
488
00:17:11,769 --> 00:17:13,336
[Nandor]
Nice shot.
489
00:17:13,336 --> 00:17:16,165
Thank you so much!
You saved my store!
490
00:17:16,165 --> 00:17:18,254
- He did?
- How clean's your toi...
491
00:17:18,254 --> 00:17:20,517
- It's...
- No!
492
00:17:20,517 --> 00:17:22,302
Colin Robinson!
493
00:17:22,302 --> 00:17:24,304
- Guillermo!
- You can't be back here.
494
00:17:24,304 --> 00:17:26,349
Move!
495
00:17:26,349 --> 00:17:28,351
- Fuck off!
- [screams]
496
00:17:28,351 --> 00:17:30,527
- Guillermo!
- Hey, girl.
497
00:17:30,527 --> 00:17:32,790
Get off him!
Get away!
498
00:17:32,790 --> 00:17:34,966
- He's mine!
- [grunting]
499
00:17:34,966 --> 00:17:37,099
[screaming]
500
00:17:37,099 --> 00:17:39,841
Get off him! Get off!
501
00:17:39,841 --> 00:17:42,148
Shoo! Scram!
502
00:17:42,148 --> 00:17:44,150
[whimpering]
503
00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:45,934
Now, what the fuck, man?
504
00:17:45,934 --> 00:17:47,588
This doctor tells me
you're almost a vampire?
505
00:17:47,588 --> 00:17:49,894
Oops, I have a little secret.
506
00:17:49,894 --> 00:17:52,288
- Focus, Guillermo.
The truth now.
- [groans]
507
00:17:52,288 --> 00:17:54,769
Fine! Okay?
508
00:17:54,769 --> 00:17:58,077
I took my fate into my own
destiny and I had Derek do it.
509
00:17:58,077 --> 00:17:59,904
- [gasps]
- I paid him to do it.
He turned me into a vampire!
510
00:17:59,904 --> 00:18:02,037
Derek?
511
00:18:02,037 --> 00:18:05,171
You could have been turned
by a legendary vampire,
512
00:18:05,171 --> 00:18:09,044
and you gave it away to Derek?
513
00:18:09,044 --> 00:18:12,221
Nandor is going to rip your face
into a new asshole.
514
00:18:12,221 --> 00:18:13,788
Well, it doesn't matter,
does, it, 'cause these guys
515
00:18:13,788 --> 00:18:15,355
- are gonna kill me anyways.
- Oh shut up, you dumb dick.
516
00:18:15,355 --> 00:18:17,922
I'm not gonna let them kill you.
That is Nandor's privilege.
517
00:18:17,922 --> 00:18:19,750
- Now, come on, let's go.
- [door opens]
518
00:18:21,012 --> 00:18:22,884
I told you,
we need to put him down.
519
00:18:22,884 --> 00:18:24,277
That's not going to happen.
520
00:18:24,277 --> 00:18:25,974
He is coming with me,
521
00:18:25,974 --> 00:18:29,151
and his master
will decide how to kill him.
522
00:18:29,151 --> 00:18:31,893
If we release an abomination
like that onto the street,
523
00:18:31,893 --> 00:18:33,677
I'm gonna lose
my medical license.
524
00:18:33,677 --> 00:18:35,810
[snarling]
525
00:18:35,810 --> 00:18:37,725
[Guillermo]
Nadja! Watch out.
526
00:18:37,725 --> 00:18:39,770
- [groaning]
- [grunting]
527
00:18:43,644 --> 00:18:44,558
[Nadja]
Help me, you load.
528
00:18:46,690 --> 00:18:48,301
- Oh, whoa.
- [gasps] Good one, Guillermo!
529
00:18:48,301 --> 00:18:49,650
- Ow.
- Yes!
530
00:18:49,650 --> 00:18:51,608
Nice one.
531
00:18:51,608 --> 00:18:53,132
- Ha!
- Watch out!
532
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,350
[grunting]
533
00:18:55,917 --> 00:18:57,571
[hisses]
534
00:18:57,571 --> 00:18:59,312
[grunting]
535
00:18:59,312 --> 00:19:00,356
[Guillermo]
Don't touch her!
536
00:19:01,923 --> 00:19:02,880
No!
537
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:04,969
[grunting]
538
00:19:04,969 --> 00:19:07,058
[Nadja]
You're just a glorified vet.
539
00:19:07,058 --> 00:19:09,017
[grunts]
Guillermo!
540
00:19:09,017 --> 00:19:10,018
Nadja!
541
00:19:10,018 --> 00:19:11,976
[grunting]
542
00:19:11,976 --> 00:19:14,240
Get away from her, you bitch!
543
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:17,895
Oh!
[groans, grunts]
544
00:19:17,895 --> 00:19:21,116
[exhales]
[slurring] Thank you, Girerro.
545
00:19:21,116 --> 00:19:24,206
Oh. I think I might've got a
little bit of poison in my face.
546
00:19:24,206 --> 00:19:26,121
Do I look okay?
547
00:19:26,121 --> 00:19:29,342
- Yeah. You look-- you look fine.
- Good.
548
00:19:29,342 --> 00:19:30,995
Now go and find your clothes
and I'll...
549
00:19:30,995 --> 00:19:32,693
[speaking unintelligibly]
550
00:19:32,693 --> 00:19:34,129
Let's go.
551
00:19:35,304 --> 00:19:38,655
Laszlo! Laszlo!
552
00:19:38,655 --> 00:19:40,222
- What is it, man?
- Help!
553
00:19:40,222 --> 00:19:42,137
Quick, to the laboratory.
554
00:19:44,748 --> 00:19:46,620
- Laszlo, hurry. Please hurry.
- All right.
555
00:19:46,620 --> 00:19:48,143
Now, brace yourself, fellas.
556
00:19:48,143 --> 00:19:49,275
Turning the machine
557
00:19:49,275 --> 00:19:51,190
- on.
- [groaning]
558
00:19:53,235 --> 00:19:54,584
[coughing]
559
00:19:54,584 --> 00:19:56,020
Is it working? Do you feel good?
560
00:19:56,020 --> 00:19:57,631
[coughing]
561
00:19:57,631 --> 00:20:00,721
It hurt at first, but now
I kind of like it.
562
00:20:00,721 --> 00:20:01,896
- Yeah.
- [groaning softly]
563
00:20:01,896 --> 00:20:04,594
What exactly is the
purpose of this machine?
564
00:20:04,594 --> 00:20:07,162
It's just a simple
energy transference device.
565
00:20:07,162 --> 00:20:10,165
I originally built it
to combat situational impotence,
566
00:20:10,165 --> 00:20:12,863
or whiskey dick,
as you might call it.
567
00:20:12,863 --> 00:20:15,953
Oh, that makes sense,
'cause I'm getting a little
568
00:20:15,953 --> 00:20:18,042
tickle in my pickle.
569
00:20:18,042 --> 00:20:19,740
Well, that's an accident,
'cause I removed that aspect.
570
00:20:19,740 --> 00:20:21,611
- Must be the vibrations.
- Could be.
571
00:20:21,611 --> 00:20:23,918
Or could be the smell.
572
00:20:23,918 --> 00:20:25,659
I really like
the smell of burning hair.
573
00:20:25,659 --> 00:20:26,747
What about you, Nandor?
574
00:20:26,747 --> 00:20:28,618
How are you finding it?
575
00:20:28,618 --> 00:20:30,098
Oh, fuck.
576
00:20:33,362 --> 00:20:34,624
- [machine buzzing]
- [Laszlo] Shit.
577
00:20:34,624 --> 00:20:36,539
Turning the machine off.
578
00:20:36,539 --> 00:20:37,540
[machine powers down]
579
00:20:37,540 --> 00:20:39,194
Reverse the process, Laszlo.
580
00:20:39,194 --> 00:20:40,587
Well, I can't.
It's too late, isn't it?
581
00:20:40,587 --> 00:20:42,458
- Look at him. Shit.
- [Nadja] [in distance] Laszlo!
582
00:20:42,458 --> 00:20:44,199
- Get fucking downstairs!
- Shit.
583
00:20:44,199 --> 00:20:46,723
Go ahead.
I'll reenergize Nandor myself.
584
00:20:46,723 --> 00:20:48,116
- How?
- [Nadja] Laszlo!
- Well, if I can drain
585
00:20:48,116 --> 00:20:49,248
the energy from people,
586
00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:50,466
I sure as hell
can put it back in them.
587
00:20:50,466 --> 00:20:52,076
- Just go. Trust me.
- [Nadja] Get downstairs!
588
00:20:52,076 --> 00:20:53,817
- Coming, my darling.
- [Nadja] Don't you "darling" me.
589
00:20:53,817 --> 00:20:55,732
[Laszlo]
Would I be wrong
in sensing some...
590
00:20:55,732 --> 00:20:58,126
- [singsongy] Nandor? Hello.
- [Nadja shouting in distance]
591
00:20:58,126 --> 00:21:00,781
It's your boy, Colin Robinson.
592
00:21:00,781 --> 00:21:05,351
But I'm going to tell you
my real name. It's...
593
00:21:05,351 --> 00:21:07,527
Arthur...
594
00:21:07,527 --> 00:21:09,180
Simon...
595
00:21:09,180 --> 00:21:10,443
Santino.
596
00:21:10,443 --> 00:21:13,228
But I-I had to change it
597
00:21:13,228 --> 00:21:15,622
because people would laugh
when they realized
598
00:21:15,622 --> 00:21:19,103
that the initials
spelled out "ass."
599
00:21:19,103 --> 00:21:20,366
[gasps]
600
00:21:20,366 --> 00:21:22,237
[weakly] Ass.
601
00:21:22,237 --> 00:21:24,370
Do you know who it was
that pointed that out to me?
602
00:21:24,370 --> 00:21:25,371
[weakly] No.
603
00:21:25,371 --> 00:21:27,677
It was my ex-boyfriend,
604
00:21:27,677 --> 00:21:29,331
- Davy Crockett.
- [exhales]
605
00:21:29,331 --> 00:21:30,724
At the Alamo.
606
00:21:31,768 --> 00:21:33,509
- Really?
- Yeah.
607
00:21:33,509 --> 00:21:35,685
If-if you don't believe me,
608
00:21:35,685 --> 00:21:39,428
maybe this knife that Jim Bowie
gave me will convince you.
609
00:21:39,428 --> 00:21:40,821
[Nandor]
Ass.
610
00:21:43,650 --> 00:21:46,087
- [Laszlo] My darling,
you need to calm down.
- I mean, what the hell?
611
00:21:46,087 --> 00:21:48,263
- [shushing]
- We have a little two-faced
bitch, lying-behind-the-back
612
00:21:48,263 --> 00:21:50,221
vampire in the house
and my husband doesn't think
613
00:21:50,221 --> 00:21:51,484
- I need to know about it?
- Cool it,
614
00:21:51,484 --> 00:21:53,355
my darling.
I'm just trying to find a cure.
615
00:21:53,355 --> 00:21:54,400
All right? Now,
616
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:55,749
if I can stop
the transformation,
617
00:21:55,749 --> 00:21:58,186
maybe Nandor can turn Gizmo.
618
00:21:58,186 --> 00:22:01,450
- You are a worthless piece
of big, wet skatá, Guillermo.
- Yeah.
619
00:22:01,450 --> 00:22:03,365
When Nandor finds out,
he's going to kill you.
620
00:22:03,365 --> 00:22:04,584
And then he's going
to kill all of us.
621
00:22:04,584 --> 00:22:05,672
- Mm.
- And then he's going
to kill himself.
622
00:22:05,672 --> 00:22:06,716
- Then don't tell him.
- I'm not going
623
00:22:06,716 --> 00:22:08,065
to lie to my housemate
to cover up
624
00:22:08,065 --> 00:22:09,545
- your treachery. [spits]
- [Guillermo] Just give me
625
00:22:09,545 --> 00:22:11,025
a chance to make this up.
When I did this, I didn't--
626
00:22:11,025 --> 00:22:13,027
Finally. Well, well, well.
627
00:22:13,027 --> 00:22:14,507
You've been gone all night.
628
00:22:14,507 --> 00:22:15,421
What, you can't even call?
629
00:22:15,421 --> 00:22:17,031
Sorry.
630
00:22:17,031 --> 00:22:18,293
They tried to put me down.
631
00:22:18,293 --> 00:22:19,555
What? Why?
632
00:22:19,555 --> 00:22:21,035
What did the doctor say?
633
00:22:21,035 --> 00:22:22,428
[Laszlo]
Uh, uh, uh...
634
00:22:22,428 --> 00:22:23,603
[sighs]
635
00:22:23,603 --> 00:22:24,734
Yes?
636
00:22:26,214 --> 00:22:27,607
Guillermo is fine.
637
00:22:27,607 --> 00:22:29,522
Just your average weak-boned,
638
00:22:29,522 --> 00:22:31,393
- broken-foot familiar.
- [Nandor groans]
639
00:22:31,393 --> 00:22:34,265
I guess someone won't be
cutting a rug anytime soon.
640
00:22:34,265 --> 00:22:35,310
[Nandor]
Wait.
641
00:22:36,659 --> 00:22:38,269
Don't move.
642
00:22:39,575 --> 00:22:41,360
[shuddering softly]
643
00:22:44,101 --> 00:22:45,451
- [grunts]
- [croaking softly]
644
00:22:45,451 --> 00:22:46,582
What...
645
00:22:46,582 --> 00:22:48,541
the hell...
646
00:22:48,541 --> 00:22:50,369
is this?
647
00:22:53,415 --> 00:22:54,285
Hmm?
648
00:22:55,504 --> 00:22:57,114
Frog?
649
00:22:57,114 --> 00:22:58,681
[Nandor]
Really? A frog?
650
00:22:58,681 --> 00:23:01,380
A frog that flies and has hair
651
00:23:01,380 --> 00:23:03,643
and looks kind of like you?
652
00:23:05,209 --> 00:23:07,298
Guillermo, do you think
I am an idiot?
653
00:23:07,298 --> 00:23:08,735
[whispers] Say no.
654
00:23:08,735 --> 00:23:09,779
[normal volume] No.
655
00:23:09,779 --> 00:23:10,998
[Nandor]
That's right.
656
00:23:10,998 --> 00:23:12,521
Because this is
657
00:23:12,521 --> 00:23:14,436
precisely what happens
658
00:23:14,436 --> 00:23:17,265
when a little birdy
sneaks into this house,
659
00:23:17,265 --> 00:23:19,659
fucks a mouse,
they have a child that grows up
660
00:23:19,659 --> 00:23:22,444
that then fucks a frog
that looks like you.
661
00:23:22,444 --> 00:23:25,708
[sighs] This is a direct result
of your slacking.
662
00:23:25,708 --> 00:23:28,624
We are not running
a fucking circus here.
663
00:23:28,624 --> 00:23:30,104
- [croaking softly]
- Yeesh.
664
00:23:31,322 --> 00:23:33,237
Give him to me.
665
00:23:33,237 --> 00:23:34,587
You may have fooled him,
666
00:23:34,587 --> 00:23:37,807
'cause he has the IQ
of a Russian toilet,
667
00:23:37,807 --> 00:23:39,809
but I know you're up
to something, aren't you,
668
00:23:39,809 --> 00:23:41,376
you little sneaky Pete?
669
00:23:45,424 --> 00:23:46,816
Okay, Colin,
670
00:23:46,816 --> 00:23:48,470
- if I tell you something--
- [Colin] Psych.
671
00:23:48,470 --> 00:23:49,863
I couldn't give two squirts.
672
00:23:54,215 --> 00:23:55,999
♪ It's in the blood, man ♪
673
00:23:58,524 --> 00:24:00,526
♪ It's in the blood ♪
674
00:24:03,093 --> 00:24:05,095
♪ It's in the blood, man ♪
675
00:24:05,095 --> 00:24:06,183
♪ It's in the blood...♪
676
00:24:06,183 --> 00:24:07,881
[frog] Gui...
677
00:24:07,881 --> 00:24:11,232
- ller... mo.
- Surely not.
678
00:24:11,232 --> 00:24:12,320
Gui...
679
00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:14,931
ller... mo.
680
00:24:14,931 --> 00:24:16,106
- [croaks]
- [laughs]
681
00:24:16,106 --> 00:24:17,151
Yeah.
682
00:24:17,151 --> 00:24:18,369
Carry on.
683
00:24:18,369 --> 00:24:19,632
♪ It's in the blood, man ♪
684
00:24:21,111 --> 00:24:23,070
♪ It's in the blood, man ♪
685
00:24:23,070 --> 00:24:24,680
♪ It's in
the blood, man ♪
686
00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:26,465
♪ Get it or not ♪
687
00:24:27,770 --> 00:24:29,032
♪ It's in the blood, man ♪
688
00:24:29,032 --> 00:24:32,035
♪ It's in
the blood, man ♪
689
00:24:32,035 --> 00:24:33,036
♪ It's in the blood, man ♪
690
00:24:33,036 --> 00:24:35,343
♪ Tell him or not ♪
691
00:24:45,788 --> 00:24:47,790
-♪ It's in the blood, man ♪
-♪ If you catch the cure ♪
692
00:24:47,790 --> 00:24:50,967
-♪ It's in the blood, man ♪
-♪ If you catch the cure...♪
693
00:24:50,967 --> 00:24:54,667
-♪ It's in the blood, man ♪
-♪ You can tell
without knowing ♪
694
00:24:54,667 --> 00:24:56,799
-♪ It's in the blood, man ♪
-♪ If you catch the cure ♪
695
00:24:56,799 --> 00:24:59,759
-♪ It's in the blood, man ♪
-♪ If you catch the cure...♪
696
00:24:59,759 --> 00:25:00,803
♪ It's in the blood, man.♪