1 00:00:06,876 --> 00:00:08,660 [Laszlo laughs] 2 00:00:08,660 --> 00:00:10,271 Extraordinary. 3 00:00:10,271 --> 00:00:13,404 You will want to get this on camera. Ha! 4 00:00:13,404 --> 00:00:15,319 Quickly. Gizmo! 5 00:00:15,319 --> 00:00:17,974 Gizmo? Gizmo, get up. 6 00:00:17,974 --> 00:00:20,281 - Yeah? Yeah? - Where's Nandor? 7 00:00:20,281 --> 00:00:22,326 Um, I think he's, uh, indisposed 8 00:00:22,326 --> 00:00:24,459 at the moment, um, in his bedroom. 9 00:00:24,459 --> 00:00:27,940 Ha, shaking hands with Rosie Palmer and her five milkmaids. 10 00:00:27,940 --> 00:00:29,725 - What? - What? Follow me. 11 00:00:29,725 --> 00:00:31,727 [Guillermo] Laszlo's still the only one who knows 12 00:00:31,727 --> 00:00:34,382 I'm half-vampire and he's been doing experiments to help. 13 00:00:34,382 --> 00:00:36,819 Happy to report that there's been some progress. 14 00:00:36,819 --> 00:00:39,604 My telekinesis has gotten better. 15 00:00:42,216 --> 00:00:44,174 [grunts] 16 00:00:44,174 --> 00:00:46,437 Pretty cool, huh? 17 00:00:46,437 --> 00:00:49,745 I have discovered something wonderful with the frogs 18 00:00:49,745 --> 00:00:51,268 - that I injected with your blood. - Wait, 19 00:00:51,268 --> 00:00:53,053 you-you did what with my blood? 20 00:00:55,925 --> 00:00:57,492 - [chuckles] - Why are they so hairy? 21 00:00:57,492 --> 00:00:59,189 Well, why are you so hairy? Who cares? 22 00:00:59,189 --> 00:01:01,278 - Now, bon voyage. - What? No! 23 00:01:01,278 --> 00:01:02,323 Those poor frogs! 24 00:01:03,367 --> 00:01:05,326 [croaking] 25 00:01:08,677 --> 00:01:10,070 [Laszlo] Shit. 26 00:01:12,463 --> 00:01:14,770 - Come on, little guy, come on, you can do it. - Shh! 27 00:01:16,250 --> 00:01:17,164 - Your turn. - To do what? 28 00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:18,339 I want you 29 00:01:18,339 --> 00:01:19,905 to leap off that balcony. 30 00:01:19,905 --> 00:01:21,211 What? 31 00:01:21,211 --> 00:01:22,865 No, I'll break my legs. 32 00:01:22,865 --> 00:01:24,867 - Bullshit. You saw those frogs. - Yeah. 33 00:01:24,867 --> 00:01:27,130 They were transformed by your blood, they flew. 34 00:01:27,130 --> 00:01:29,001 Ipso facto, shithead... 35 00:01:30,394 --> 00:01:31,787 ...so can you. 36 00:01:31,787 --> 00:01:33,441 But what if I can't? 37 00:01:33,441 --> 00:01:35,095 Yeah, but what if you can? 38 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:36,748 What if you can? 39 00:01:36,748 --> 00:01:38,185 [chuckles softly] 40 00:01:38,185 --> 00:01:39,795 - That would be pretty cool. - It would be 41 00:01:39,795 --> 00:01:42,058 very cool. Now, I calculate 42 00:01:42,058 --> 00:01:44,016 we have exactly two minutes before 43 00:01:44,016 --> 00:01:46,193 Nandor finishes making pearl jam. 44 00:01:46,193 --> 00:01:48,760 - Right. - So I'll see you at the bottom. 45 00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:50,458 As the actress said to the bishop. [laughs] 46 00:01:50,458 --> 00:01:52,199 Come on, Guillermo. 47 00:01:52,199 --> 00:01:55,027 I believe in you and I love you, Guillermo. 48 00:01:55,027 --> 00:01:56,377 Come on, Gizmo, let her rip. 49 00:01:56,377 --> 00:01:58,509 Launch yourself forward, see what happens. 50 00:01:58,509 --> 00:02:00,772 - We should practice closer to the floor first. - No. 51 00:02:00,772 --> 00:02:02,078 No, no, no. You will never fly 52 00:02:02,078 --> 00:02:04,036 unless you need to. Panic is 53 00:02:04,036 --> 00:02:05,516 the secret ingredient. Now, come on. 54 00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,173 [breathing shakily] 55 00:02:10,173 --> 00:02:12,088 Aah-- 56 00:02:12,088 --> 00:02:14,046 - [gasps] - [chuckles] 57 00:02:14,046 --> 00:02:16,745 I'm doing it! [laughs] 58 00:02:16,745 --> 00:02:18,138 - [Nandor] Guillermo? - Yes, Master-- 59 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:20,140 - [screaming] - [Laszlo laughing] 60 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,707 - That's how we all learned. - [Guillermo whimpering] 61 00:02:22,707 --> 00:02:24,883 ["You're Dead" by Norma Tanega playing] 62 00:02:24,883 --> 00:02:27,190 ♪ Don't sing if you want to live long ♪ 63 00:02:27,190 --> 00:02:29,888 ♪ They have no use for your song ♪ 64 00:02:29,888 --> 00:02:32,326 ♪ You're dead, you're dead, you're dead ♪ 65 00:02:32,326 --> 00:02:35,067 ♪ You're dead and out of this world ♪ 66 00:02:37,026 --> 00:02:40,072 ♪ Now your hope and compassion is gone ♪ 67 00:02:40,072 --> 00:02:42,814 ♪ You sold out your dream to the world ♪ 68 00:02:42,814 --> 00:02:45,165 ♪ Stay dead, stay dead, stay dead ♪ 69 00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:47,036 ♪ You're dead and out of this world.♪ 70 00:02:47,036 --> 00:02:49,125 ♪ ♪ 71 00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:59,701 - [Nandor] Oh, shit. - [Guillermo whimpering] 72 00:02:59,701 --> 00:03:01,181 What is this screaming? Is someone squeezing a snake? 73 00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:02,965 Oh. 74 00:03:02,965 --> 00:03:05,315 - Fucking hell. - [Nandor] What happened? 75 00:03:05,315 --> 00:03:07,230 Well, I don't know. I was in the library. Don't look at me. 76 00:03:07,230 --> 00:03:08,840 Does it hurt? 77 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:10,929 Because it looks like it really hurts. 78 00:03:10,929 --> 00:03:12,801 - Hey, boners. - [Laszlo] What? 79 00:03:12,801 --> 00:03:14,194 Nice shiner, Colin Robinson. 80 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:17,284 Hey, look at this dude. 81 00:03:17,284 --> 00:03:18,937 [Nadja] Someone's had an interesting evening. 82 00:03:18,937 --> 00:03:20,417 - Please help me. - [Colin] Wow. 83 00:03:20,417 --> 00:03:22,114 What happened to dingus' foot? 84 00:03:22,114 --> 00:03:23,377 [Laszlo] Who gives a fuck? 85 00:03:23,377 --> 00:03:24,987 Tell us what happened to your blackened eye. 86 00:03:24,987 --> 00:03:26,380 Yes, was it fisticuffs? 87 00:03:26,380 --> 00:03:28,164 [gasps] Did you get kicked by a donkey? 88 00:03:28,164 --> 00:03:29,992 Stop guessing and stop grabbing me. 89 00:03:29,992 --> 00:03:31,820 This is the problem. 90 00:03:31,820 --> 00:03:33,735 Take it easy, summer breezy. 91 00:03:33,735 --> 00:03:35,867 [Colin] Every time I go to drain someone, 92 00:03:35,867 --> 00:03:38,218 they see my black eye and want to know what happened. 93 00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:41,003 All of a sudden, I'm too... G-damn interesting 94 00:03:41,003 --> 00:03:42,134 to drain anyone. 95 00:03:42,134 --> 00:03:44,006 - What the fuck? - [Nandor] Really? 96 00:03:44,006 --> 00:03:45,703 You think you are too interesting? 97 00:03:45,703 --> 00:03:47,749 I know I am. I mean, 98 00:03:47,749 --> 00:03:49,316 this exact same thing happened when I came back from Vietnam. 99 00:03:49,316 --> 00:03:51,361 [Nandor] Whoa. 100 00:03:51,361 --> 00:03:54,190 - You were in 'Nam? - [Laszlo] Well, thank you for your service. 101 00:03:54,190 --> 00:03:56,801 Colin Robinson, I had no idea you were in the Army. 102 00:03:56,801 --> 00:03:58,412 Oh, I-I wasn't in the Army. 103 00:03:58,412 --> 00:04:00,022 About six years ago, 104 00:04:00,022 --> 00:04:01,806 I took a cycling trip with Backroads. 105 00:04:01,806 --> 00:04:03,852 - [groans] - On the third day, we found 106 00:04:03,852 --> 00:04:05,680 a dead body. In a tree. 107 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:06,724 [Nandor] No kidding? 108 00:04:06,724 --> 00:04:09,031 With an ox's asshole 109 00:04:09,031 --> 00:04:11,686 around its neck like a necklace. 110 00:04:11,686 --> 00:04:13,427 - What? - How did that happen? 111 00:04:13,427 --> 00:04:16,125 Some poor farmer and his ox must've stepped 112 00:04:16,125 --> 00:04:18,040 on a decommissioned land mine and... 113 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:20,390 blew him up into the tree and the ox's 114 00:04:20,390 --> 00:04:22,174 asshole must've landed on his head. 115 00:04:22,174 --> 00:04:23,785 - [Laszlo] Good grief. - Fascinating. 116 00:04:23,785 --> 00:04:25,700 I wasn't expecting that ending. 117 00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:28,006 [Colin] See? It's the black eye-- makes 118 00:04:28,006 --> 00:04:29,486 - my stories too interesting. - Do you think 119 00:04:29,486 --> 00:04:31,923 that your black eye also has a very interesting story? 120 00:04:31,923 --> 00:04:35,275 Unfortunately, yes, it's fucking remarkable. 121 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:36,363 [Laszlo] But this is Colin Robinson. 122 00:04:36,363 --> 00:04:37,842 I mean, he can't have any more 123 00:04:37,842 --> 00:04:39,757 fascinating stories in him. 124 00:04:39,757 --> 00:04:42,891 Gee, you tell me. A five-pound frozen block 125 00:04:42,891 --> 00:04:45,850 of shit and piss fall off a plane, landing 126 00:04:45,850 --> 00:04:48,418 - on a 308 Ferrari - [Nadja] No way. 127 00:04:48,418 --> 00:04:50,986 and blowing the sideview mirror right into my kisser. 128 00:04:50,986 --> 00:04:52,770 Well, fuck my old boots. 129 00:04:52,770 --> 00:04:54,511 Son of a bitch! 130 00:04:54,511 --> 00:04:57,340 - Frozen blocks of pisses and shits? - [Colin] Yes. 131 00:04:57,340 --> 00:04:58,820 - What will they think of next? - [Guillermo moaning] 132 00:04:58,820 --> 00:05:01,039 Guillermo, oi... 133 00:05:01,039 --> 00:05:03,172 No, fuck this, I want to stay here 134 00:05:03,172 --> 00:05:05,087 and listen to his wonderful stories. 135 00:05:05,087 --> 00:05:07,785 - Yes, me too. - Guillermo is your familiar. 136 00:05:07,785 --> 00:05:09,744 I just went to get him new trousers a year ago. 137 00:05:09,744 --> 00:05:11,136 It is your turn. 138 00:05:11,136 --> 00:05:13,095 Fine. Fuck it. Whatever. 139 00:05:13,095 --> 00:05:15,271 Okay, Guillermo, stop lying around. 140 00:05:15,271 --> 00:05:17,404 Let's get that [speaks Greek] of yours looked at. 141 00:05:17,404 --> 00:05:19,884 [Laszlo] Come on, boys, to the lab. 142 00:05:19,884 --> 00:05:22,234 - Tell me more about this ox's anus. - [Guillermo] It really hurts. 143 00:05:22,234 --> 00:05:24,019 Okay already, I said we're going. 144 00:05:24,019 --> 00:05:26,064 Oh! Laszlo, my love, 145 00:05:26,064 --> 00:05:27,762 did you just see a hairy frog? 146 00:05:27,762 --> 00:05:29,285 The only hairy frog I'm interested in, 147 00:05:29,285 --> 00:05:31,679 my darling, is the one between your legs. 148 00:05:31,679 --> 00:05:32,854 It's not just a frog. 149 00:05:32,854 --> 00:05:34,899 - It's the whole swamp. - True. 150 00:05:34,899 --> 00:05:36,684 [laughs] Come on. 151 00:05:36,684 --> 00:05:38,207 Off you go, my love. 152 00:05:38,207 --> 00:05:40,122 [door opens, closes] 153 00:05:40,122 --> 00:05:42,298 [whistles] 154 00:05:42,298 --> 00:05:44,779 Where are you? Come on, boy. [whistles] 155 00:05:44,779 --> 00:05:46,824 Come on, boy. Where the fuck are you, 156 00:05:46,824 --> 00:05:48,391 you fucking frog? 157 00:05:48,391 --> 00:05:50,785 Are either of you allergic to penicillin? 158 00:05:50,785 --> 00:05:52,352 - No. - What is that? 159 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,310 Just ragweed 160 00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:56,225 - and chewing gum. - Chewing gum? 161 00:05:56,225 --> 00:05:58,749 - How unusual. - That is unusual. - Guys, guys. 162 00:05:58,749 --> 00:06:00,185 You're literally killing me. 163 00:06:00,185 --> 00:06:02,710 Right, let's crack on. When I flick this switch, 164 00:06:02,710 --> 00:06:03,972 the lights will flash, there'll be a horrible noise 165 00:06:03,972 --> 00:06:05,277 and a terrible odor 166 00:06:05,277 --> 00:06:07,018 as I transfer the life energy from Nandor 167 00:06:07,018 --> 00:06:08,977 into Colin Robinson. 168 00:06:08,977 --> 00:06:10,979 Sorry, Laszlo, I do have one question. 169 00:06:10,979 --> 00:06:12,937 - [Laszlo] Which is? - Will it hurt? 170 00:06:12,937 --> 00:06:14,417 Pain like you've never known. 171 00:06:14,417 --> 00:06:16,680 And furthermore, if you're overdrained, you could die. 172 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:17,942 Fuck this, I'm out. 173 00:06:17,942 --> 00:06:19,161 - What? - W-Wait a minute. 174 00:06:19,161 --> 00:06:20,728 I'm starving. 175 00:06:20,728 --> 00:06:22,338 And you will be fed, Colin Robinson. 176 00:06:22,338 --> 00:06:24,427 But I think we should revert to our original plan. 177 00:06:24,427 --> 00:06:27,038 - The original plan? Are you mad? - [Nandor] I think it's a pretty good plan. 178 00:06:27,038 --> 00:06:28,649 We cover your black eye with makeup 179 00:06:28,649 --> 00:06:30,215 and make you boring again. 180 00:06:30,215 --> 00:06:32,392 It does seem a lot simpler. 181 00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,437 - Let's do that. - [Laszlo] All right. 182 00:06:34,437 --> 00:06:36,308 - Cowards. - [Colin] Makes sense. 183 00:06:36,308 --> 00:06:39,094 Turn your back on science at your own peril. 184 00:06:39,094 --> 00:06:41,052 - We'll take our chances. Thank you, Laszlo. - Yeah. 185 00:06:41,052 --> 00:06:43,011 [Guillermo] [grunts] Seriously, Nadja, 186 00:06:43,011 --> 00:06:45,013 I don't need urgent care. I can just sleep it off. 187 00:06:45,013 --> 00:06:46,754 Do you really think I want to doing this? 188 00:06:46,754 --> 00:06:48,712 If it was up to me, I would have just packed your ankle 189 00:06:48,712 --> 00:06:50,671 in some mud made from fish piss 190 00:06:50,671 --> 00:06:52,237 and fed you some pickled pig's ears. 191 00:06:52,237 --> 00:06:55,110 But, no, my husband thinks a doctor is better. 192 00:06:55,110 --> 00:06:57,417 [imitates Laszlo] "Trust the science, my darling." 193 00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,201 - [spits] - [Guillermo] I don't know what's going on 194 00:06:59,201 --> 00:07:01,029 with my body right now, but if a doctor finds out 195 00:07:01,029 --> 00:07:03,205 that I'm almost a vampire, I'm a dead man. 196 00:07:03,205 --> 00:07:05,381 And if Nadja finds out, it'll be worse, so-- 197 00:07:05,381 --> 00:07:07,296 - [shrieks] - Stop squirming, Guillermo, we're very close now. 198 00:07:07,296 --> 00:07:09,298 No, you know what? I feel a lot better. 199 00:07:09,298 --> 00:07:11,996 The vampire doctor is going to fix your mangled foot. 200 00:07:11,996 --> 00:07:13,955 What? You said we were going to urgent care. 201 00:07:13,955 --> 00:07:15,260 Yes, Familiar Urgent Care, silly. 202 00:07:15,260 --> 00:07:17,915 No. No, Nadja, no! 203 00:07:20,004 --> 00:07:24,531 Oh, just look at all these people to feed from. 204 00:07:24,531 --> 00:07:27,316 I don't know, I kind of feel like I want go home 205 00:07:27,316 --> 00:07:30,058 - and take the train to sleepy town. - No! 206 00:07:30,058 --> 00:07:32,234 It would be a sleep of death. 207 00:07:32,234 --> 00:07:34,323 Just take a look at all these losers, hmm? 208 00:07:34,323 --> 00:07:36,194 [Colin] Outdoor diners. 209 00:07:36,194 --> 00:07:38,283 - They do deserve it. - [Nandor] Yes. 210 00:07:38,283 --> 00:07:40,155 - Great start. - Uh, excuse me. 211 00:07:40,155 --> 00:07:42,070 Hello. 212 00:07:42,070 --> 00:07:44,376 I notice you have a d... Oh. Ooh. 213 00:07:44,376 --> 00:07:46,204 - You got this. - [Colin] Doggie bag. 214 00:07:46,204 --> 00:07:49,251 Interesting story about how the... 215 00:07:49,251 --> 00:07:52,080 origin of the doggie bag started. 216 00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:55,257 It was actually a-- Ow! 217 00:07:55,257 --> 00:07:56,998 - [man] Oh, shit! - [Colin] Son of a bitch! 218 00:07:56,998 --> 00:07:59,522 World War II, they would 219 00:07:59,522 --> 00:08:01,350 - take food home for their dog - [woman] Did you see that? 220 00:08:01,350 --> 00:08:03,570 - instead of wasting it. - [people chattering] 221 00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:05,093 Don't look at me! 222 00:08:05,093 --> 00:08:06,529 This isn't interesting. 223 00:08:06,529 --> 00:08:08,183 What have you done? 224 00:08:08,183 --> 00:08:10,664 Someone ran over my foot, shithead. It hurt. 225 00:08:10,664 --> 00:08:13,449 - Tell them to go away. - Nothing interesting here. Keep moving, please. 226 00:08:13,449 --> 00:08:15,451 Stop filming me! 227 00:08:15,451 --> 00:08:17,322 - Are you okay? - No, I'm not okay. - Shoo! 228 00:08:17,322 --> 00:08:19,194 He needs privacy. 229 00:08:19,194 --> 00:08:21,370 - It is fine. - [Colin] Nandor, take me home. 230 00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:22,458 I'm taking you home. We're gonna go home. 231 00:08:22,458 --> 00:08:24,634 Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. Are you okay? 232 00:08:24,634 --> 00:08:26,549 - No! - [man] What the fuck? That's the dude from Mad Men. 233 00:08:26,549 --> 00:08:28,029 Oh, for fuck's sake. 234 00:08:28,029 --> 00:08:29,465 [man 2] Oh, where's your martini, bud? 235 00:08:29,465 --> 00:08:31,162 - Hi. - [Colin] You got to be kidding me. 236 00:08:31,162 --> 00:08:32,990 [man 2] Damn, you just got hit by John Slattery. 237 00:08:32,990 --> 00:08:34,209 - That is crazy. - What the heck happened? 238 00:08:34,209 --> 00:08:36,037 You stepped off the curb without even looking. 239 00:08:36,037 --> 00:08:37,691 What happened is you ran over my foot! 240 00:08:37,691 --> 00:08:39,606 We really need to go. My friend is not well. 241 00:08:39,606 --> 00:08:41,216 Let me drive you to the hospital. I-I just 242 00:08:41,216 --> 00:08:42,565 played a-a doctor on a season of The Good Fight. 243 00:08:42,565 --> 00:08:43,914 They love me over there. 244 00:08:43,914 --> 00:08:45,350 That was a really good episode. 245 00:08:45,350 --> 00:08:47,265 It doesn't even really hurt that much 246 00:08:47,265 --> 00:08:48,702 - anymore. - Well, I'll-I'll drive you home, please? 247 00:08:48,702 --> 00:08:50,486 - It's the least I can do. - You know what? 248 00:08:50,486 --> 00:08:52,401 We will accept your generous offer. 249 00:08:52,401 --> 00:08:53,663 - Yes, yes. - What the fuck are you doing? 250 00:08:53,663 --> 00:08:55,230 [man] Hey, John, over here. 251 00:08:55,230 --> 00:08:56,971 We will be in that car alone 252 00:08:56,971 --> 00:08:58,450 with this gentleman that owes you a debt. 253 00:08:58,450 --> 00:09:00,148 Which you will collect 254 00:09:00,148 --> 00:09:02,150 by feeding. 255 00:09:02,150 --> 00:09:04,065 - Hmm? - Yeah. 256 00:09:04,065 --> 00:09:06,894 John Slattery coming to the aid of the guy he just ran over. 257 00:09:06,894 --> 00:09:08,591 - Shotgun left. - Fuck! 258 00:09:08,591 --> 00:09:10,941 - John Slattery, please. - [man] You're a hero, John. 259 00:09:10,941 --> 00:09:12,464 - [man 2] One of the greats. - [Colin] He's not one of the greats. 260 00:09:12,464 --> 00:09:14,336 - He's a reckless driver. - [man] You're a reckless 261 00:09:14,336 --> 00:09:15,511 - walker. - Peasants, disperse! 262 00:09:15,511 --> 00:09:16,904 - Begone! - [man] He call us peasants? 263 00:09:16,904 --> 00:09:19,602 - [crowd groans] - [man] Oh, rude. 264 00:09:19,602 --> 00:09:21,430 [Guillermo] Animal hospital? Why are we-why are we going here? 265 00:09:21,430 --> 00:09:24,128 Ow! [grunting] 266 00:09:24,128 --> 00:09:26,304 - [whispering] This is for pets. I'm not a dog. - Shh! Potato, "potahto." 267 00:09:26,304 --> 00:09:28,959 [normal volume] Um, yes, hello, um, I've got a broken familiar. 268 00:09:28,959 --> 00:09:31,396 - So, you're gonna want to go around that corner-- - Yeah, I've been here before. 269 00:09:31,396 --> 00:09:34,182 There is nothing to see here. 270 00:09:34,182 --> 00:09:37,533 It is just a Doberman with a floppy tail. 271 00:09:38,969 --> 00:09:40,188 - Hold on tight. - Wait, where are we going? 272 00:09:40,188 --> 00:09:41,493 - Uh, through the wall. - No, no stop! 273 00:09:41,493 --> 00:09:43,104 - That's a solid wall. - No, it's not. 274 00:09:43,104 --> 00:09:47,151 No. No! No! [gasping] Okay. 275 00:09:47,151 --> 00:09:49,153 - That was kind of cool. - It's just a common cold, so there's gonna be sneezing 276 00:09:49,153 --> 00:09:52,243 and coughing and that is gonna be a burden on you, 277 00:09:52,243 --> 00:09:55,986 so I have a recommendation. And that is put her down. 278 00:09:55,986 --> 00:09:58,423 - Oh, gosh, you really think so? - [doctor] Even if she recovers 279 00:09:58,423 --> 00:10:01,165 from this cold, she's... 280 00:10:01,165 --> 00:10:03,037 good God, she's, like, almost 40. 281 00:10:03,037 --> 00:10:04,952 She might squeeze out a few more good years, 282 00:10:04,952 --> 00:10:06,649 but we're talking quality of life. 283 00:10:06,649 --> 00:10:08,390 Okay, let's do it. 284 00:10:08,390 --> 00:10:10,174 No, fuck this. I'm out of here. 285 00:10:10,174 --> 00:10:12,002 Oh, calm, down, it'll be okay. 286 00:10:12,002 --> 00:10:13,482 No! 287 00:10:13,482 --> 00:10:15,484 [Nadja] Got a live one. [laughs] 288 00:10:15,484 --> 00:10:18,269 - Thanks, guys. - [doctor] Sedate him, Jack. - No. 289 00:10:18,269 --> 00:10:19,488 - [Nadja] Fantastic. - [doctor] That's it. 290 00:10:19,488 --> 00:10:21,142 [Nadja] Aw. 291 00:10:21,142 --> 00:10:22,970 Sweet dreams, Guillermo. 292 00:10:22,970 --> 00:10:24,580 - [laughs] - [doctor] Yeah, perfect. 293 00:10:24,580 --> 00:10:27,104 [John] You, uh, you okay back there? 294 00:10:27,104 --> 00:10:29,237 You look like shit. 295 00:10:29,237 --> 00:10:31,500 Well, yeah, I mean, you ran over my foot. 296 00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:34,503 Sorry about all the cell phone pictures and stuff. 297 00:10:34,503 --> 00:10:36,026 You know, you would that people in New York 298 00:10:36,026 --> 00:10:37,637 would have seen a famous actor before. 299 00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,508 It is quite all right, John Slattery. 300 00:10:39,508 --> 00:10:41,728 You have our gratitude. 301 00:10:41,728 --> 00:10:43,773 [whispers] Drain him. 302 00:10:43,773 --> 00:10:45,688 [normal volume] Do you find it, uh, difficult? 303 00:10:45,688 --> 00:10:48,038 What? 304 00:10:48,038 --> 00:10:50,127 Do you find it difficult 305 00:10:50,127 --> 00:10:52,129 being an older actor? 306 00:10:52,129 --> 00:10:54,349 Having to memorize lines? 307 00:10:54,349 --> 00:10:56,351 Especially when you've been drinking. 308 00:10:56,351 --> 00:10:58,483 Slattery-- that's an Irish name, right? 309 00:10:58,483 --> 00:11:00,616 Wait, s-say that last part again. 310 00:11:00,616 --> 00:11:02,923 What, "Slattery's an Irish name"? 311 00:11:02,923 --> 00:11:06,230 I mean, I personally don't mind the Irish. 312 00:11:06,230 --> 00:11:09,146 But I just don't like it when they try to sound intelligent. 313 00:11:09,146 --> 00:11:11,627 Huh, wow. 314 00:11:11,627 --> 00:11:14,717 I could listen to you talk for hours. 315 00:11:14,717 --> 00:11:17,328 - Exsqueeze me? - I mean, not to what you're saying, but to that accent. 316 00:11:17,328 --> 00:11:19,722 It's just so specific. Where are you from? 317 00:11:19,722 --> 00:11:21,506 - Well... - Wait, wait, wait, don't tell me. Upper Midwest. 318 00:11:21,506 --> 00:11:24,292 For sure. Uh, Wisconsin? 319 00:11:24,292 --> 00:11:26,207 But not eastern Wisconsin, that would have more of 320 00:11:26,207 --> 00:11:28,383 a Germanic influence to it, am I right? 321 00:11:28,383 --> 00:11:30,994 Are you, like, prepping for a role or something? 322 00:11:30,994 --> 00:11:33,344 No, this isn't for a role. I just love accents. 323 00:11:33,344 --> 00:11:35,303 People are just walking stories, you know? 324 00:11:35,303 --> 00:11:38,349 In all their fascination and specificity. 325 00:11:38,349 --> 00:11:39,481 You ever see the movie Spotlight? 326 00:11:39,481 --> 00:11:42,353 About the Boston Globe reporters 327 00:11:42,353 --> 00:11:46,096 who uncovered the sexual abuse coverup in the Catholic church? 328 00:11:46,096 --> 00:11:48,229 - Yeah, exactly. - No. 329 00:11:48,229 --> 00:11:50,231 Oh. Well, in that I played Ben Bradlee, Jr. 330 00:11:50,231 --> 00:11:52,276 And that character begins with the accent, 331 00:11:52,276 --> 00:11:54,714 because the real Bradlee is from Boston. 332 00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:57,412 But he's an upper-crust guy. 333 00:11:57,412 --> 00:11:58,543 [Boston accent] Not like some jamoke standing 334 00:11:58,543 --> 00:12:00,284 around Kelly's Tavern 335 00:12:00,284 --> 00:12:02,286 in, uh, Revere Beach, you know what I mean? 336 00:12:02,286 --> 00:12:04,071 - Very good, John Slattery. - [regular accent] Not bad, right? 337 00:12:04,071 --> 00:12:06,290 - But I was talking to him. - Oh. 338 00:12:06,290 --> 00:12:08,249 [John] You know, it's funny, I had this babysitter when I was a kid. 339 00:12:08,249 --> 00:12:09,990 She was Irish. Her name was Vivian. 340 00:12:09,990 --> 00:12:12,470 But again, sorry for your loss. 341 00:12:12,470 --> 00:12:14,559 She was just a familiar, but thank you. 342 00:12:14,559 --> 00:12:16,953 It is kind of nice to think of Cathy 343 00:12:16,953 --> 00:12:18,650 on that rainbow bridge, 344 00:12:18,650 --> 00:12:20,609 doing stuff with her familiar friends. 345 00:12:20,609 --> 00:12:23,264 Having spaghetti or whatever it is they dream of doing. 346 00:12:23,264 --> 00:12:25,527 Well, they're in a better place now. 347 00:12:25,527 --> 00:12:27,398 - Yes. - [mutters] I wish I was. 348 00:12:27,398 --> 00:12:30,053 - I'm looking for a Nadja. - [normal volume] Oh, yes. 349 00:12:30,053 --> 00:12:32,186 - Please, can we go? - Well, 350 00:12:32,186 --> 00:12:34,057 Guillermo's ankle is healing up nicely, 351 00:12:34,057 --> 00:12:36,451 which is very unusual, so... 352 00:12:36,451 --> 00:12:39,323 just to be safe... I say we put him down. 353 00:12:39,323 --> 00:12:40,672 He could break that ankle again, 354 00:12:40,672 --> 00:12:42,500 he could break the other ankle or 355 00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:44,372 - he could just bitch a lot. - Hmm. 356 00:12:44,372 --> 00:12:46,243 Think we're just gonna take him home. 357 00:12:46,243 --> 00:12:48,158 All right. Well, that is your choice. 358 00:12:48,158 --> 00:12:50,160 - Yes. - Oh, there's one more thing. 359 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:52,641 The results of that blood work came back and they're very odd, 360 00:12:52,641 --> 00:12:55,165 so I'm just gonna have it retested, will not take long. 361 00:12:55,165 --> 00:12:57,951 I promise I'm gonna get you out of here well before sunrise. 362 00:12:57,951 --> 00:12:59,126 [woman screaming in distance] 363 00:12:59,126 --> 00:13:00,605 [Nadja] Now I'm thinking, 364 00:13:00,605 --> 00:13:02,607 "They're going to test him again?" 365 00:13:02,607 --> 00:13:04,261 What if they find that Van Helsing muck 366 00:13:04,261 --> 00:13:05,654 in his blood? [spits] 367 00:13:05,654 --> 00:13:07,134 I'm going to have to get him out of here. 368 00:13:08,352 --> 00:13:09,963 [Colin] Why are we heading towards 369 00:13:09,963 --> 00:13:11,660 the Verrazzano Bridge? 370 00:13:11,660 --> 00:13:14,445 Uh, are you-are you taking us to Brooklyn? 371 00:13:14,445 --> 00:13:16,447 [imitating Colin] Are you taking us to Brooklyn? Are you... 372 00:13:16,447 --> 00:13:17,709 [regular voice] That-- It's really-- That's a tough one. It's got kind 373 00:13:17,709 --> 00:13:19,407 of a twang to it. Say something else. 374 00:13:19,407 --> 00:13:21,322 I don't want to go to Brooklyn. 375 00:13:21,322 --> 00:13:22,976 [John imitates Colin] I don't want to go to Brooklyn? 376 00:13:22,976 --> 00:13:24,499 [regular voice] There's a little bit of an uptalk there. 377 00:13:24,499 --> 00:13:26,196 [imitates Colin] I don't want to go to Brooklyn? 378 00:13:26,196 --> 00:13:27,154 - Can you let us out right h-- - [imitating Colin] Can you 379 00:13:27,154 --> 00:13:29,243 let us out right here, please? 380 00:13:29,243 --> 00:13:30,026 [regular voice] You also have these interesting 381 00:13:30,026 --> 00:13:31,549 pauses in your speech, but 382 00:13:31,549 --> 00:13:34,248 I can't tell if they're regional or uniquely you or... 383 00:13:34,248 --> 00:13:36,032 It's just the most interesting accent 384 00:13:36,032 --> 00:13:38,034 - I've ever heard. - Okay, fuck this. 385 00:13:38,034 --> 00:13:39,601 [John] I mean, where are you from? I'm sorry, guys. That's kind of 386 00:13:39,601 --> 00:13:41,516 mean, right? I'm not trying to make fun of you, 387 00:13:41,516 --> 00:13:42,604 I'm just trying to get it in my head, you know, 388 00:13:42,604 --> 00:13:44,171 it's all about muscle memory. 389 00:13:44,171 --> 00:13:45,520 Guillermo? 390 00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:47,739 Guillermo! 391 00:13:47,739 --> 00:13:50,220 Guillermo, why the hell are you wearing a dress? 392 00:13:50,220 --> 00:13:53,006 Hey, Nandor, you made it. Hey, girl. 393 00:13:53,006 --> 00:13:54,529 Get your shit together, we got to go. 394 00:13:54,529 --> 00:13:56,531 No, I want to lie down. You know they gave me 395 00:13:56,531 --> 00:13:59,055 some relax and it's making me feel very medicine. 396 00:13:59,055 --> 00:14:01,014 [speaks Greek] They are testing your blood 397 00:14:01,014 --> 00:14:03,233 and they're going to find your Van Helsing germs 398 00:14:03,233 --> 00:14:05,105 and whatever else you've got going on in there and then 399 00:14:05,105 --> 00:14:07,194 - they're going to kill you, so let's go! - That sounds serious. 400 00:14:07,194 --> 00:14:08,586 Can I say something? 401 00:14:08,586 --> 00:14:11,024 - Nadja? - What? 402 00:14:11,024 --> 00:14:13,896 I think you're wonderful and I love-- Ow! 403 00:14:13,896 --> 00:14:17,160 You're a crazy bitch. But I love you. 404 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:18,901 You know who else I love is Laszlo. 405 00:14:18,901 --> 00:14:20,990 But he's a horny little bitch. 406 00:14:20,990 --> 00:14:23,036 I also love Colin Robinson. 407 00:14:23,036 --> 00:14:24,951 He's, like, a little boring bitch. 408 00:14:24,951 --> 00:14:26,561 Like, he's like an LBB. 409 00:14:26,561 --> 00:14:29,607 But, you know, the one I love the most is actually Nandor. 410 00:14:29,607 --> 00:14:31,696 - Because he's, like, the queen bitch. - [tapping on glass] 411 00:14:31,696 --> 00:14:33,263 - [Nadja exclaims] - Is that crazy? 412 00:14:33,263 --> 00:14:34,699 Hey. Who's that bitch? 413 00:14:34,699 --> 00:14:37,615 Wow, you are such a miracle worker. 414 00:14:37,615 --> 00:14:39,704 He is back to a red, shiny, 415 00:14:39,704 --> 00:14:42,011 fresh apple, so, think we're gonna get 416 00:14:42,011 --> 00:14:43,230 - the ol' dog home now. [chuckles] - Yeah. 417 00:14:43,230 --> 00:14:44,579 I don't think that's gonna happen. 418 00:14:44,579 --> 00:14:45,536 I have a question for you. 419 00:14:45,536 --> 00:14:47,364 Who turned him? 420 00:14:47,364 --> 00:14:48,931 Who what? 421 00:14:48,931 --> 00:14:50,977 According to his blood, 422 00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:52,674 this familiar has been turned into a vampire. 423 00:14:52,674 --> 00:14:55,459 Yes, it's early stages, but he is well on his way. 424 00:14:55,459 --> 00:14:57,548 No, I'm sorry, there's been a huge mistake. 425 00:14:57,548 --> 00:15:00,290 Are you regretting turning him? Because if you are, 426 00:15:00,290 --> 00:15:02,118 you should have thought of that before you did it. 427 00:15:02,118 --> 00:15:03,990 - Guillermo? - Yeah. 428 00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:05,426 - A vampire? - Yes. 429 00:15:05,426 --> 00:15:06,514 That thing? 430 00:15:06,514 --> 00:15:08,429 That loser is a vampire? 431 00:15:08,429 --> 00:15:10,083 Absolutely not. 432 00:15:10,083 --> 00:15:11,432 Have you seen how lame he is? 433 00:15:11,432 --> 00:15:12,563 Science does not lie. 434 00:15:12,563 --> 00:15:14,000 Now, it must be recent 435 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:15,523 because he's still transforming. 436 00:15:15,523 --> 00:15:18,439 No one in our house would do such a thing. 437 00:15:18,439 --> 00:15:20,571 Well, then we have a very big problem, 'cause 438 00:15:20,571 --> 00:15:22,269 I'm gonna put him down. 439 00:15:22,269 --> 00:15:24,619 Well, you can't do that because... 440 00:15:24,619 --> 00:15:26,447 He is our familiar! 441 00:15:26,447 --> 00:15:28,840 - You need to let him go. - Get your hands off of me! 442 00:15:30,364 --> 00:15:32,061 [exhales] 443 00:15:32,061 --> 00:15:34,368 Guillermo? Guillermo? 444 00:15:34,368 --> 00:15:39,460 Guillermo! Guillermo! 445 00:15:41,549 --> 00:15:43,551 [Nadja] Guillermo! 446 00:15:43,551 --> 00:15:45,553 Guillermo, snap out of it. 447 00:15:45,553 --> 00:15:47,468 They think you are a bastard vampire 448 00:15:47,468 --> 00:15:48,643 And they're going to kill you. 449 00:15:48,643 --> 00:15:49,774 - Guillermo? - [doctor] Come on, girl. 450 00:15:49,774 --> 00:15:51,124 Get out! 451 00:15:51,124 --> 00:15:52,952 Guillermo. 452 00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:55,476 Guillermo? Hello? 453 00:15:55,476 --> 00:15:57,826 Sorry. [chuckles] Guillermo? 454 00:15:57,826 --> 00:15:59,959 Guillermo? 455 00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,048 Nadja, hi. 456 00:16:02,048 --> 00:16:03,701 What? You work here? 457 00:16:03,701 --> 00:16:05,486 Volunteer, actually. 458 00:16:05,486 --> 00:16:07,662 It's a way of giving back. 459 00:16:07,662 --> 00:16:09,969 I mean, who rescued who, right? 460 00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:12,449 - Have you seen Guillermo? - Guillermo? 461 00:16:12,449 --> 00:16:14,495 Oh, no, no, not here. 462 00:16:14,495 --> 00:16:16,453 This place is just for strays. 463 00:16:16,453 --> 00:16:18,934 - I have a family. - Hey! Eat your chicken! 464 00:16:18,934 --> 00:16:20,980 - [whispers] He's not gonna make it. - I can hear you. 465 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,982 Guillermo! Open! 466 00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:24,940 Guillermo. 467 00:16:24,940 --> 00:16:27,334 [Colin] Uh, I don't... think I can make it. 468 00:16:27,334 --> 00:16:29,510 [Nandor] Of course you're gonna make it. I know this is difficult, 469 00:16:29,510 --> 00:16:31,729 but you've got to be strong, okay? 470 00:16:31,729 --> 00:16:35,472 I want you to go in here and ask to use the toilet. 471 00:16:35,472 --> 00:16:38,301 Then I want you to ask for a sanitary wipe. 472 00:16:38,301 --> 00:16:40,260 Then I want you to ask 473 00:16:40,260 --> 00:16:42,175 when the last time they cleaned the toilet. 474 00:16:42,175 --> 00:16:43,480 Then I want you to tell them 475 00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,221 you're gonna take a nice big shit, okay? 476 00:16:45,221 --> 00:16:47,354 It's gonna buy you a few more hours of energy. 477 00:16:47,354 --> 00:16:50,313 - Whoa! Get the fuck out! - [Colin] Oh, fuck. 478 00:16:50,313 --> 00:16:52,446 - May I use your toilet? - Wait a minute, wait a minute. 479 00:16:52,446 --> 00:16:54,839 Yo! 480 00:16:54,839 --> 00:16:56,580 It's my guy from TikTok. 481 00:16:56,580 --> 00:16:58,626 What? 482 00:16:58,626 --> 00:17:00,671 Whoa! Nobody fucking move. 483 00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:05,372 ♪ Jump around...♪ 484 00:17:05,372 --> 00:17:06,590 [Nandor] Colin Robinson, that's you. 485 00:17:06,590 --> 00:17:08,244 - [Colin] Oh, for crying out loud. - Yeah. 486 00:17:08,244 --> 00:17:10,246 [Nandor] How did they make this so quick? And the music? 487 00:17:10,246 --> 00:17:11,769 Aah! 488 00:17:11,769 --> 00:17:13,336 [Nandor] Nice shot. 489 00:17:13,336 --> 00:17:16,165 Thank you so much! You saved my store! 490 00:17:16,165 --> 00:17:18,254 - He did? - How clean's your toi... 491 00:17:18,254 --> 00:17:20,517 - It's... - No! 492 00:17:20,517 --> 00:17:22,302 Colin Robinson! 493 00:17:22,302 --> 00:17:24,304 - Guillermo! - You can't be back here. 494 00:17:24,304 --> 00:17:26,349 Move! 495 00:17:26,349 --> 00:17:28,351 - Fuck off! - [screams] 496 00:17:28,351 --> 00:17:30,527 - Guillermo! - Hey, girl. 497 00:17:30,527 --> 00:17:32,790 Get off him! Get away! 498 00:17:32,790 --> 00:17:34,966 - He's mine! - [grunting] 499 00:17:34,966 --> 00:17:37,099 [screaming] 500 00:17:37,099 --> 00:17:39,841 Get off him! Get off! 501 00:17:39,841 --> 00:17:42,148 Shoo! Scram! 502 00:17:42,148 --> 00:17:44,150 [whimpering] 503 00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:45,934 Now, what the fuck, man? 504 00:17:45,934 --> 00:17:47,588 This doctor tells me you're almost a vampire? 505 00:17:47,588 --> 00:17:49,894 Oops, I have a little secret. 506 00:17:49,894 --> 00:17:52,288 - Focus, Guillermo. The truth now. - [groans] 507 00:17:52,288 --> 00:17:54,769 Fine! Okay? 508 00:17:54,769 --> 00:17:58,077 I took my fate into my own destiny and I had Derek do it. 509 00:17:58,077 --> 00:17:59,904 - [gasps] - I paid him to do it. He turned me into a vampire! 510 00:17:59,904 --> 00:18:02,037 Derek? 511 00:18:02,037 --> 00:18:05,171 You could have been turned by a legendary vampire, 512 00:18:05,171 --> 00:18:09,044 and you gave it away to Derek? 513 00:18:09,044 --> 00:18:12,221 Nandor is going to rip your face into a new asshole. 514 00:18:12,221 --> 00:18:13,788 Well, it doesn't matter, does, it, 'cause these guys 515 00:18:13,788 --> 00:18:15,355 - are gonna kill me anyways. - Oh shut up, you dumb dick. 516 00:18:15,355 --> 00:18:17,922 I'm not gonna let them kill you. That is Nandor's privilege. 517 00:18:17,922 --> 00:18:19,750 - Now, come on, let's go. - [door opens] 518 00:18:21,012 --> 00:18:22,884 I told you, we need to put him down. 519 00:18:22,884 --> 00:18:24,277 That's not going to happen. 520 00:18:24,277 --> 00:18:25,974 He is coming with me, 521 00:18:25,974 --> 00:18:29,151 and his master will decide how to kill him. 522 00:18:29,151 --> 00:18:31,893 If we release an abomination like that onto the street, 523 00:18:31,893 --> 00:18:33,677 I'm gonna lose my medical license. 524 00:18:33,677 --> 00:18:35,810 [snarling] 525 00:18:35,810 --> 00:18:37,725 [Guillermo] Nadja! Watch out. 526 00:18:37,725 --> 00:18:39,770 - [groaning] - [grunting] 527 00:18:43,644 --> 00:18:44,558 [Nadja] Help me, you load. 528 00:18:46,690 --> 00:18:48,301 - Oh, whoa. - [gasps] Good one, Guillermo! 529 00:18:48,301 --> 00:18:49,650 - Ow. - Yes! 530 00:18:49,650 --> 00:18:51,608 Nice one. 531 00:18:51,608 --> 00:18:53,132 - Ha! - Watch out! 532 00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,350 [grunting] 533 00:18:55,917 --> 00:18:57,571 [hisses] 534 00:18:57,571 --> 00:18:59,312 [grunting] 535 00:18:59,312 --> 00:19:00,356 [Guillermo] Don't touch her! 536 00:19:01,923 --> 00:19:02,880 No! 537 00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:04,969 [grunting] 538 00:19:04,969 --> 00:19:07,058 [Nadja] You're just a glorified vet. 539 00:19:07,058 --> 00:19:09,017 [grunts] Guillermo! 540 00:19:09,017 --> 00:19:10,018 Nadja! 541 00:19:10,018 --> 00:19:11,976 [grunting] 542 00:19:11,976 --> 00:19:14,240 Get away from her, you bitch! 543 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:17,895 Oh! [groans, grunts] 544 00:19:17,895 --> 00:19:21,116 [exhales] [slurring] Thank you, Girerro. 545 00:19:21,116 --> 00:19:24,206 Oh. I think I might've got a little bit of poison in my face. 546 00:19:24,206 --> 00:19:26,121 Do I look okay? 547 00:19:26,121 --> 00:19:29,342 - Yeah. You look-- you look fine. - Good. 548 00:19:29,342 --> 00:19:30,995 Now go and find your clothes and I'll... 549 00:19:30,995 --> 00:19:32,693 [speaking unintelligibly] 550 00:19:32,693 --> 00:19:34,129 Let's go. 551 00:19:35,304 --> 00:19:38,655 Laszlo! Laszlo! 552 00:19:38,655 --> 00:19:40,222 - What is it, man? - Help! 553 00:19:40,222 --> 00:19:42,137 Quick, to the laboratory. 554 00:19:44,748 --> 00:19:46,620 - Laszlo, hurry. Please hurry. - All right. 555 00:19:46,620 --> 00:19:48,143 Now, brace yourself, fellas. 556 00:19:48,143 --> 00:19:49,275 Turning the machine 557 00:19:49,275 --> 00:19:51,190 - on. - [groaning] 558 00:19:53,235 --> 00:19:54,584 [coughing] 559 00:19:54,584 --> 00:19:56,020 Is it working? Do you feel good? 560 00:19:56,020 --> 00:19:57,631 [coughing] 561 00:19:57,631 --> 00:20:00,721 It hurt at first, but now I kind of like it. 562 00:20:00,721 --> 00:20:01,896 - Yeah. - [groaning softly] 563 00:20:01,896 --> 00:20:04,594 What exactly is the purpose of this machine? 564 00:20:04,594 --> 00:20:07,162 It's just a simple energy transference device. 565 00:20:07,162 --> 00:20:10,165 I originally built it to combat situational impotence, 566 00:20:10,165 --> 00:20:12,863 or whiskey dick, as you might call it. 567 00:20:12,863 --> 00:20:15,953 Oh, that makes sense, 'cause I'm getting a little 568 00:20:15,953 --> 00:20:18,042 tickle in my pickle. 569 00:20:18,042 --> 00:20:19,740 Well, that's an accident, 'cause I removed that aspect. 570 00:20:19,740 --> 00:20:21,611 - Must be the vibrations. - Could be. 571 00:20:21,611 --> 00:20:23,918 Or could be the smell. 572 00:20:23,918 --> 00:20:25,659 I really like the smell of burning hair. 573 00:20:25,659 --> 00:20:26,747 What about you, Nandor? 574 00:20:26,747 --> 00:20:28,618 How are you finding it? 575 00:20:28,618 --> 00:20:30,098 Oh, fuck. 576 00:20:33,362 --> 00:20:34,624 - [machine buzzing] - [Laszlo] Shit. 577 00:20:34,624 --> 00:20:36,539 Turning the machine off. 578 00:20:36,539 --> 00:20:37,540 [machine powers down] 579 00:20:37,540 --> 00:20:39,194 Reverse the process, Laszlo. 580 00:20:39,194 --> 00:20:40,587 Well, I can't. It's too late, isn't it? 581 00:20:40,587 --> 00:20:42,458 - Look at him. Shit. - [Nadja] [in distance] Laszlo! 582 00:20:42,458 --> 00:20:44,199 - Get fucking downstairs! - Shit. 583 00:20:44,199 --> 00:20:46,723 Go ahead. I'll reenergize Nandor myself. 584 00:20:46,723 --> 00:20:48,116 - How? - [Nadja] Laszlo! - Well, if I can drain 585 00:20:48,116 --> 00:20:49,248 the energy from people, 586 00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:50,466 I sure as hell can put it back in them. 587 00:20:50,466 --> 00:20:52,076 - Just go. Trust me. - [Nadja] Get downstairs! 588 00:20:52,076 --> 00:20:53,817 - Coming, my darling. - [Nadja] Don't you "darling" me. 589 00:20:53,817 --> 00:20:55,732 [Laszlo] Would I be wrong in sensing some... 590 00:20:55,732 --> 00:20:58,126 - [singsongy] Nandor? Hello. - [Nadja shouting in distance] 591 00:20:58,126 --> 00:21:00,781 It's your boy, Colin Robinson. 592 00:21:00,781 --> 00:21:05,351 But I'm going to tell you my real name. It's... 593 00:21:05,351 --> 00:21:07,527 Arthur... 594 00:21:07,527 --> 00:21:09,180 Simon... 595 00:21:09,180 --> 00:21:10,443 Santino. 596 00:21:10,443 --> 00:21:13,228 But I-I had to change it 597 00:21:13,228 --> 00:21:15,622 because people would laugh when they realized 598 00:21:15,622 --> 00:21:19,103 that the initials spelled out "ass." 599 00:21:19,103 --> 00:21:20,366 [gasps] 600 00:21:20,366 --> 00:21:22,237 [weakly] Ass. 601 00:21:22,237 --> 00:21:24,370 Do you know who it was that pointed that out to me? 602 00:21:24,370 --> 00:21:25,371 [weakly] No. 603 00:21:25,371 --> 00:21:27,677 It was my ex-boyfriend, 604 00:21:27,677 --> 00:21:29,331 - Davy Crockett. - [exhales] 605 00:21:29,331 --> 00:21:30,724 At the Alamo. 606 00:21:31,768 --> 00:21:33,509 - Really? - Yeah. 607 00:21:33,509 --> 00:21:35,685 If-if you don't believe me, 608 00:21:35,685 --> 00:21:39,428 maybe this knife that Jim Bowie gave me will convince you. 609 00:21:39,428 --> 00:21:40,821 [Nandor] Ass. 610 00:21:43,650 --> 00:21:46,087 - [Laszlo] My darling, you need to calm down. - I mean, what the hell? 611 00:21:46,087 --> 00:21:48,263 - [shushing] - We have a little two-faced bitch, lying-behind-the-back 612 00:21:48,263 --> 00:21:50,221 vampire in the house and my husband doesn't think 613 00:21:50,221 --> 00:21:51,484 - I need to know about it? - Cool it, 614 00:21:51,484 --> 00:21:53,355 my darling. I'm just trying to find a cure. 615 00:21:53,355 --> 00:21:54,400 All right? Now, 616 00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:55,749 if I can stop the transformation, 617 00:21:55,749 --> 00:21:58,186 maybe Nandor can turn Gizmo. 618 00:21:58,186 --> 00:22:01,450 - You are a worthless piece of big, wet skatá, Guillermo. - Yeah. 619 00:22:01,450 --> 00:22:03,365 When Nandor finds out, he's going to kill you. 620 00:22:03,365 --> 00:22:04,584 And then he's going to kill all of us. 621 00:22:04,584 --> 00:22:05,672 - Mm. - And then he's going to kill himself. 622 00:22:05,672 --> 00:22:06,716 - Then don't tell him. - I'm not going 623 00:22:06,716 --> 00:22:08,065 to lie to my housemate to cover up 624 00:22:08,065 --> 00:22:09,545 - your treachery. [spits] - [Guillermo] Just give me 625 00:22:09,545 --> 00:22:11,025 a chance to make this up. When I did this, I didn't-- 626 00:22:11,025 --> 00:22:13,027 Finally. Well, well, well. 627 00:22:13,027 --> 00:22:14,507 You've been gone all night. 628 00:22:14,507 --> 00:22:15,421 What, you can't even call? 629 00:22:15,421 --> 00:22:17,031 Sorry. 630 00:22:17,031 --> 00:22:18,293 They tried to put me down. 631 00:22:18,293 --> 00:22:19,555 What? Why? 632 00:22:19,555 --> 00:22:21,035 What did the doctor say? 633 00:22:21,035 --> 00:22:22,428 [Laszlo] Uh, uh, uh... 634 00:22:22,428 --> 00:22:23,603 [sighs] 635 00:22:23,603 --> 00:22:24,734 Yes? 636 00:22:26,214 --> 00:22:27,607 Guillermo is fine. 637 00:22:27,607 --> 00:22:29,522 Just your average weak-boned, 638 00:22:29,522 --> 00:22:31,393 - broken-foot familiar. - [Nandor groans] 639 00:22:31,393 --> 00:22:34,265 I guess someone won't be cutting a rug anytime soon. 640 00:22:34,265 --> 00:22:35,310 [Nandor] Wait. 641 00:22:36,659 --> 00:22:38,269 Don't move. 642 00:22:39,575 --> 00:22:41,360 [shuddering softly] 643 00:22:44,101 --> 00:22:45,451 - [grunts] - [croaking softly] 644 00:22:45,451 --> 00:22:46,582 What... 645 00:22:46,582 --> 00:22:48,541 the hell... 646 00:22:48,541 --> 00:22:50,369 is this? 647 00:22:53,415 --> 00:22:54,285 Hmm? 648 00:22:55,504 --> 00:22:57,114 Frog? 649 00:22:57,114 --> 00:22:58,681 [Nandor] Really? A frog? 650 00:22:58,681 --> 00:23:01,380 A frog that flies and has hair 651 00:23:01,380 --> 00:23:03,643 and looks kind of like you? 652 00:23:05,209 --> 00:23:07,298 Guillermo, do you think I am an idiot? 653 00:23:07,298 --> 00:23:08,735 [whispers] Say no. 654 00:23:08,735 --> 00:23:09,779 [normal volume] No. 655 00:23:09,779 --> 00:23:10,998 [Nandor] That's right. 656 00:23:10,998 --> 00:23:12,521 Because this is 657 00:23:12,521 --> 00:23:14,436 precisely what happens 658 00:23:14,436 --> 00:23:17,265 when a little birdy sneaks into this house, 659 00:23:17,265 --> 00:23:19,659 fucks a mouse, they have a child that grows up 660 00:23:19,659 --> 00:23:22,444 that then fucks a frog that looks like you. 661 00:23:22,444 --> 00:23:25,708 [sighs] This is a direct result of your slacking. 662 00:23:25,708 --> 00:23:28,624 We are not running a fucking circus here. 663 00:23:28,624 --> 00:23:30,104 - [croaking softly] - Yeesh. 664 00:23:31,322 --> 00:23:33,237 Give him to me. 665 00:23:33,237 --> 00:23:34,587 You may have fooled him, 666 00:23:34,587 --> 00:23:37,807 'cause he has the IQ of a Russian toilet, 667 00:23:37,807 --> 00:23:39,809 but I know you're up to something, aren't you, 668 00:23:39,809 --> 00:23:41,376 you little sneaky Pete? 669 00:23:45,424 --> 00:23:46,816 Okay, Colin, 670 00:23:46,816 --> 00:23:48,470 - if I tell you something-- - [Colin] Psych. 671 00:23:48,470 --> 00:23:49,863 I couldn't give two squirts. 672 00:23:54,215 --> 00:23:55,999 ♪ It's in the blood, man ♪ 673 00:23:58,524 --> 00:24:00,526 ♪ It's in the blood ♪ 674 00:24:03,093 --> 00:24:05,095 ♪ It's in the blood, man ♪ 675 00:24:05,095 --> 00:24:06,183 ♪ It's in the blood...♪ 676 00:24:06,183 --> 00:24:07,881 [frog] Gui... 677 00:24:07,881 --> 00:24:11,232 - ller... mo. - Surely not. 678 00:24:11,232 --> 00:24:12,320 Gui... 679 00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:14,931 ller... mo. 680 00:24:14,931 --> 00:24:16,106 - [croaks] - [laughs] 681 00:24:16,106 --> 00:24:17,151 Yeah. 682 00:24:17,151 --> 00:24:18,369 Carry on. 683 00:24:18,369 --> 00:24:19,632 ♪ It's in the blood, man ♪ 684 00:24:21,111 --> 00:24:23,070 ♪ It's in the blood, man ♪ 685 00:24:23,070 --> 00:24:24,680 ♪ It's in the blood, man ♪ 686 00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:26,465 ♪ Get it or not ♪ 687 00:24:27,770 --> 00:24:29,032 ♪ It's in the blood, man ♪ 688 00:24:29,032 --> 00:24:32,035 ♪ It's in the blood, man ♪ 689 00:24:32,035 --> 00:24:33,036 ♪ It's in the blood, man ♪ 690 00:24:33,036 --> 00:24:35,343 ♪ Tell him or not ♪ 691 00:24:45,788 --> 00:24:47,790 -♪ It's in the blood, man ♪ -♪ If you catch the cure ♪ 692 00:24:47,790 --> 00:24:50,967 -♪ It's in the blood, man ♪ -♪ If you catch the cure...♪ 693 00:24:50,967 --> 00:24:54,667 -♪ It's in the blood, man ♪ -♪ You can tell without knowing ♪ 694 00:24:54,667 --> 00:24:56,799 -♪ It's in the blood, man ♪ -♪ If you catch the cure ♪ 695 00:24:56,799 --> 00:24:59,759 -♪ It's in the blood, man ♪ -♪ If you catch the cure...♪ 696 00:24:59,759 --> 00:25:00,803 ♪ It's in the blood, man.♪