1 00:00:17,942 --> 00:00:19,556 NADJA: Are we almost there? 2 00:00:19,581 --> 00:00:22,834 All this walking and walking and walking, Guillermo, 3 00:00:22,859 --> 00:00:24,408 do you never tire of it? 4 00:00:24,449 --> 00:00:26,429 Screw this. I'm flying. 5 00:00:26,454 --> 00:00:28,388 Who's with me? Bat! 6 00:00:28,484 --> 00:00:30,483 NADJA: He doesn't have the address, so, you know... 7 00:00:30,508 --> 00:00:32,031 I don't have the address. 8 00:00:32,056 --> 00:00:32,953 (CHAMBER MUSIC PLAYING) 9 00:00:32,978 --> 00:00:34,539 Vampires love virgins. 10 00:00:34,564 --> 00:00:36,117 It's their favorite food. 11 00:00:36,332 --> 00:00:38,713 And, um, I've managed to find a group 12 00:00:38,738 --> 00:00:41,171 with an extremely high ratio of virgins. 13 00:00:41,272 --> 00:00:43,078 So, LARPing, as you probably know, 14 00:00:43,103 --> 00:00:45,550 stands for Live Action Role-Playing. 15 00:00:45,575 --> 00:00:47,178 You will give me the scroll, 16 00:00:47,206 --> 00:00:49,515 or you will taste the wrath of my pike. 17 00:00:49,540 --> 00:00:50,671 JENNA: Some people think that 18 00:00:50,696 --> 00:00:52,647 we kind of mix up reality. 19 00:00:52,672 --> 00:00:54,793 Don't worry, we're well aware. 20 00:00:54,818 --> 00:00:57,018 Um, we know it isn't real. 21 00:00:57,087 --> 00:00:58,616 No, it's real. 22 00:00:58,641 --> 00:00:59,706 Yeah. 23 00:00:59,731 --> 00:01:01,288 Roll for intimidation. 24 00:01:01,405 --> 00:01:03,005 (DICE CLATTERING) 25 00:01:03,030 --> 00:01:04,670 JONATHAN: Negative for intimidation. 26 00:01:04,695 --> 00:01:05,757 KYLE: Roll again. 27 00:01:06,695 --> 00:01:10,298 Well, obviously they are all virgins, so good work there. 28 00:01:10,362 --> 00:01:11,695 Thank you, Master. 29 00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:15,066 Shh! Guillermo! You'll spook the virgins! 30 00:01:15,187 --> 00:01:16,652 Your accent! 31 00:01:17,904 --> 00:01:19,407 - I will join. - One. 32 00:01:19,432 --> 00:01:20,789 - I will join. - Two. 33 00:01:20,814 --> 00:01:21,996 Yes! 34 00:01:22,021 --> 00:01:23,984 SHANICE: Jenelf has volunteered, sire. 35 00:01:24,009 --> 00:01:26,880 No. Jenelf has but 23 hit points. 36 00:01:26,905 --> 00:01:29,720 - You still have enough points. - All who agree Jenelf 37 00:01:29,745 --> 00:01:32,767 does not have enough points to come on the quest, say "aye." 38 00:01:32,792 --> 00:01:33,812 Aye. 39 00:01:33,837 --> 00:01:35,189 OTHERS: Aye. 40 00:01:35,333 --> 00:01:37,694 Why do they ignore the little female one? 41 00:01:37,719 --> 00:01:39,652 Perhaps it is part of their game. 42 00:01:39,677 --> 00:01:41,760 They pretend she's invisible? 43 00:01:41,785 --> 00:01:43,873 KYLE: You call this a sojourner's tavern? 44 00:01:43,898 --> 00:01:45,918 Your mead tastes like griffin piss. 45 00:01:45,943 --> 00:01:47,171 (SPITS) 46 00:01:47,719 --> 00:01:49,452 I don't want these virgins. 47 00:01:49,548 --> 00:01:51,554 They are going to taste too sad. 48 00:01:51,579 --> 00:01:53,359 - Oh, come on. - Let's just eat the mean one. 49 00:01:53,384 --> 00:01:54,812 No, I know what you're bloody like. 50 00:01:54,837 --> 00:01:56,770 If you eat the mean one, you're gonna be mean all evening. 51 00:01:56,795 --> 00:01:58,744 No, thank you. This is a bowl of rotten fruit! 52 00:01:58,769 --> 00:02:01,490 All right, I think you need to calm down, my beauty. 53 00:02:01,515 --> 00:02:03,412 - Coming? - In a moment. 54 00:02:03,599 --> 00:02:05,898 ♪ ♪ 55 00:02:06,191 --> 00:02:08,570 - KYLE: Sorry, Jen. - JENNA: It's all right. 56 00:02:10,954 --> 00:02:13,096 Be strong, sweet little one. 57 00:02:13,121 --> 00:02:15,137 Someday they will all be dead, 58 00:02:15,162 --> 00:02:18,029 and you will do a shit on all of their graves. 59 00:02:18,111 --> 00:02:21,265 ("YOU'RE DEAD" BY NORMA TANEGA PLAYING) 60 00:02:21,290 --> 00:02:23,993 ♪ Don't sing if you want to live long ♪ 61 00:02:24,018 --> 00:02:26,773 ♪ They have no use for your song ♪ 62 00:02:26,798 --> 00:02:29,797 ♪ You're dead, you're dead, you're dead ♪ 63 00:02:29,822 --> 00:02:33,011 ♪ You're dead and out of this world ♪ 64 00:02:33,283 --> 00:02:36,307 ♪ Now your hope and compassion is gone ♪ 65 00:02:36,332 --> 00:02:38,940 ♪ You sold out your dream to the world ♪ 66 00:02:38,965 --> 00:02:41,978 ♪ Stay dead, stay dead, stay dead ♪ 67 00:02:42,003 --> 00:02:44,533 ♪ You're dead and out of this world. ♪ 68 00:02:45,032 --> 00:02:47,578 ♪ ♪ 69 00:02:47,804 --> 00:02:53,301 - Synced and corrected by martythecrazy - - www.addic7ed.com - 70 00:02:54,076 --> 00:02:55,775 (SHIP HORN BLOWS) 71 00:02:55,911 --> 00:02:58,061 NANDOR: Recently, we've had a very powerful 72 00:02:58,086 --> 00:03:01,566 and ancient vampire move into the house, and it's 73 00:03:01,591 --> 00:03:02,890 made things a little... 74 00:03:02,995 --> 00:03:04,363 challenging. 75 00:03:04,388 --> 00:03:06,288 (ROARING) 76 00:03:06,523 --> 00:03:08,830 The Baron has charged us with the task 77 00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:11,128 of taking power over the New World. 78 00:03:11,153 --> 00:03:13,506 Expected us to have conquered the New World, 79 00:03:13,531 --> 00:03:16,012 but I don't remember him ever mentioning it. 80 00:03:16,236 --> 00:03:17,643 NADJA: I just remembered, 81 00:03:17,668 --> 00:03:19,547 the last time me and the Baron were making love, 82 00:03:19,572 --> 00:03:21,481 he said something to me. 83 00:03:21,751 --> 00:03:24,551 "If you ever get to the New World, my dear, 84 00:03:24,799 --> 00:03:27,660 "take over the land and subjugate the entire population, 85 00:03:27,685 --> 00:03:28,870 otherwise I'll have your head." 86 00:03:29,083 --> 00:03:30,949 But I couldn't pay attention, 87 00:03:30,974 --> 00:03:33,985 because he was doing that thing where he pays a lot of attention 88 00:03:34,010 --> 00:03:35,508 - to your area. - His thing is, 89 00:03:35,533 --> 00:03:38,039 he's got this irritating habit of giving you orders 90 00:03:38,064 --> 00:03:39,997 just at the moment of climax. 91 00:03:40,022 --> 00:03:42,523 So you're both there in the moment, and then... 92 00:03:42,548 --> 00:03:44,601 he barks an order, and you're, "Huh? What?" 93 00:03:44,626 --> 00:03:46,948 "Uh... what?" 94 00:03:46,973 --> 00:03:48,116 Nothing. 95 00:03:48,141 --> 00:03:49,703 "I beg your pardon?" 96 00:03:49,728 --> 00:03:51,748 (HIGH-PITCHED); "What are you saying?" 97 00:03:51,773 --> 00:03:53,329 And he never repeats what he said. 98 00:03:53,354 --> 00:03:56,383 Expects you to have listened, during the climax. 99 00:03:56,933 --> 00:04:00,140 So I guess we conquering the New World now. 100 00:04:00,359 --> 00:04:01,663 (FIRE CRACKLING) 101 00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:04,567 Extend arm... and dust. 102 00:04:04,592 --> 00:04:06,755 Careful of the spider house. 103 00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:08,922 You wouldn't like it if a spider came and dusted 104 00:04:08,947 --> 00:04:11,371 - your house, would you, Guillermo? - Guess not. 105 00:04:11,396 --> 00:04:12,791 (GASPS) 106 00:04:13,547 --> 00:04:15,313 GUILLERMO: The worst part about having 107 00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:18,092 the Baron stay with us is the Baron's familiar. 108 00:04:18,299 --> 00:04:20,430 She's so... creepy. 109 00:04:20,455 --> 00:04:21,655 Oh! 110 00:04:21,916 --> 00:04:25,691 She's got everyone on edge, popping up behind doors, 111 00:04:25,716 --> 00:04:27,069 behind bushes. 112 00:04:27,094 --> 00:04:29,323 (WHISPERING): She can hear everything we say. 113 00:04:29,731 --> 00:04:31,097 Everything. 114 00:04:31,457 --> 00:04:34,254 ♪ ♪ 115 00:04:34,403 --> 00:04:36,253 She's worse than Guillermo. 116 00:04:36,603 --> 00:04:38,508 Always there. 117 00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:44,368 Why the hell are we meeting in the fancy... 118 00:04:44,393 --> 00:04:45,758 Shh! 119 00:04:46,605 --> 00:04:48,955 Why are we meeting in the fancy room and not in the library? 120 00:04:48,980 --> 00:04:51,188 Because this is a secret meeting. 121 00:04:51,213 --> 00:04:53,914 All secret meetings take place in the fancy room. 122 00:04:53,939 --> 00:04:55,959 (CURTAINS CLOSE) 123 00:04:59,362 --> 00:05:01,203 Do you want to pull the curtains a little bit louder? 124 00:05:01,228 --> 00:05:02,512 It got stuck. 125 00:05:02,537 --> 00:05:04,404 - Sorry? - It got stuck. 126 00:05:04,429 --> 00:05:05,428 (SIGHS) 127 00:05:05,453 --> 00:05:08,454 Now, the Baron's specific plan 128 00:05:08,479 --> 00:05:10,904 was that we are to conquer 129 00:05:10,929 --> 00:05:12,430 - North America. - He actually said, 130 00:05:12,455 --> 00:05:15,313 - "the New World." - No, he specified Staten Island. 131 00:05:15,338 --> 00:05:17,196 No, the entirety of North America. 132 00:05:17,221 --> 00:05:18,670 Then that would include Canada. 133 00:05:18,695 --> 00:05:20,653 What the fuck would anyone want with Canada? 134 00:05:20,678 --> 00:05:23,305 Apparently, there is a very active trade 135 00:05:23,330 --> 00:05:24,852 - in beaver pelts. - Oh. 136 00:05:24,877 --> 00:05:26,543 That was hundreds of years ago, Master. 137 00:05:26,568 --> 00:05:27,700 Guillermo, don't talk. 138 00:05:27,725 --> 00:05:29,232 Where was I? Yes. 139 00:05:29,257 --> 00:05:32,054 We need a plan for total domination. 140 00:05:32,079 --> 00:05:35,533 We could poison the humans' milks with witch's piss. 141 00:05:35,558 --> 00:05:38,501 - Uh, how would that work? - We could assassinate the king. 142 00:05:38,526 --> 00:05:40,838 - We don't have a king in America. - Even easier. 143 00:05:40,863 --> 00:05:42,383 NADJA: This is too much to ask. 144 00:05:42,408 --> 00:05:44,938 What a big bloody cheeky jerk, coming here, 145 00:05:44,963 --> 00:05:46,859 telling us to take over the whole of Staten Island 146 00:05:46,884 --> 00:05:49,047 just by ourselves, while I bet he's having 147 00:05:49,072 --> 00:05:51,414 a lovely bloody nap up there! I hope he's resting well! 148 00:05:51,439 --> 00:05:53,094 You want me to come sing you a lullaby?! 149 00:05:53,119 --> 00:05:54,868 - Nadja, no. - Silly boy. 150 00:05:54,893 --> 00:05:56,702 - Don't raise your voice. - LASZLO: That's very risky. 151 00:05:56,727 --> 00:05:58,414 - Woof! - NANDOR: Shh! We are not alone 152 00:05:58,439 --> 00:06:00,079 in this house. 153 00:06:00,282 --> 00:06:02,349 Guillermo, check the curtain. 154 00:06:02,374 --> 00:06:04,802 Make sure she is not eavesdropping on us. 155 00:06:06,411 --> 00:06:08,940 - Hello. - (OTHERS GROANING) 156 00:06:08,965 --> 00:06:11,428 COLIN: I was just eavesdropping behind the curtain there. 157 00:06:11,453 --> 00:06:12,552 Secret meeting, huh? 158 00:06:12,577 --> 00:06:14,310 - No. - Uh-uh. 159 00:06:14,335 --> 00:06:16,007 What were you guys talking about? Can I join? 160 00:06:16,032 --> 00:06:17,320 NADJA: No. So sorry. 161 00:06:17,345 --> 00:06:19,362 We're planning your, um... 162 00:06:19,387 --> 00:06:21,722 - surprise party. - NANDOR: Yeah. 163 00:06:21,747 --> 00:06:23,908 COLIN: Oh. A surprise party, huh? 164 00:06:23,933 --> 00:06:24,606 OTHERS: Mm-hmm. 165 00:06:24,631 --> 00:06:27,141 Well, it's not much of a surprise now, is it? 166 00:06:27,482 --> 00:06:30,283 You know, if-if the fun part of the party 167 00:06:30,516 --> 00:06:32,314 is that it's a surprise, 168 00:06:32,339 --> 00:06:36,699 and you eliminate all element of surprise, 169 00:06:36,724 --> 00:06:39,526 then it just becomes a party, right? 170 00:06:39,551 --> 00:06:41,301 - Eh... - So tell me 171 00:06:41,326 --> 00:06:43,842 what's really going on, because, frankly, 172 00:06:43,867 --> 00:06:45,898 let's be honest, you've never even thought 173 00:06:45,923 --> 00:06:47,689 of throwing a party for me, 174 00:06:47,714 --> 00:06:50,184 - have you? - NADJA: The Baron wants us 175 00:06:50,209 --> 00:06:51,762 to take over the land, 176 00:06:51,787 --> 00:06:55,435 - at least Staten Island. - Well, it sounds like you want 177 00:06:55,460 --> 00:06:57,215 to talk to the local leaders. 178 00:06:57,240 --> 00:06:57,965 - Yeah. - Yes. 179 00:06:57,990 --> 00:06:59,910 Okay, well, I-I can help with that. 180 00:06:59,935 --> 00:07:01,933 - NANDOR: You can? - I know exactly who you need 181 00:07:01,958 --> 00:07:04,170 - to talk to and where to go. - NANDOR: Show us the way, 182 00:07:04,195 --> 00:07:05,369 Colin Robinson. 183 00:07:05,394 --> 00:07:08,051 Let our journey to total domination 184 00:07:08,076 --> 00:07:10,849 begin this very evening! 185 00:07:14,794 --> 00:07:16,994 Perhaps you could just give us the destination, 186 00:07:17,019 --> 00:07:20,072 and we could fly ahead and meet you there, Colin Robinson. 187 00:07:20,152 --> 00:07:21,967 It's kind of hard to find. 188 00:07:22,850 --> 00:07:26,751 You know, I actually don't mind taking the bus. 189 00:07:26,776 --> 00:07:32,477 Everyone kind of focuses on the "day" part of "daywalker," 190 00:07:32,502 --> 00:07:36,399 but actually, no one focuses on the "walker" part. 191 00:07:36,424 --> 00:07:38,570 You know, there's a lot of walking... 192 00:07:38,778 --> 00:07:40,031 Bat. 193 00:07:43,253 --> 00:07:45,762 They're never gonna be able to find the place. 194 00:07:45,787 --> 00:07:47,815 COLIN: Of course, you can always have buses 195 00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:49,973 that are one-tier, two-tier, 196 00:07:49,998 --> 00:07:52,131 but you never see three-tier buses. 197 00:07:52,156 --> 00:07:55,394 They would be hit when they go under bridges. 198 00:07:59,423 --> 00:08:03,007 I appreciate, uh, your perspective, Mr. Chapman, 199 00:08:03,032 --> 00:08:04,881 but the zoning ordinance... 200 00:08:04,906 --> 00:08:07,874 These are the ones who rule over the local peasants? 201 00:08:07,899 --> 00:08:10,424 - Yes. Isn't this wonderful? - No. 202 00:08:10,449 --> 00:08:11,823 Is it a wrestling pit? 203 00:08:11,848 --> 00:08:13,806 No. No. Just-just watch. 204 00:08:13,831 --> 00:08:16,185 - But when does the wrestling start? - Never. 205 00:08:16,210 --> 00:08:18,033 You're recognized, Mr. Peterson. 206 00:08:18,058 --> 00:08:20,876 Uh, according to the statute, if Mr. Chapman's residence 207 00:08:20,901 --> 00:08:22,134 was originally zoned 208 00:08:22,164 --> 00:08:24,618 as a mixed-use or multiple-dwelling structure... 209 00:08:24,643 --> 00:08:26,164 I come here every week. 210 00:08:26,189 --> 00:08:29,255 It's a smorgasbord of... banality and despair. 211 00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:31,279 BARBARA: Mr. Robinson? You're next up. 212 00:08:31,304 --> 00:08:34,173 - Is Mr. Robinson here? - I'm just gonna do a quick mega-feed, 213 00:08:34,198 --> 00:08:35,331 and then I'll be right back. 214 00:08:35,356 --> 00:08:37,041 BARBARA: Mr. Robinson, are you here? 215 00:08:37,066 --> 00:08:39,582 I'm holding up a finger indicating to hold on a second. 216 00:08:39,607 --> 00:08:40,673 Uh, I'll be right back. 217 00:08:40,698 --> 00:08:42,598 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 218 00:08:45,005 --> 00:08:48,665 (MICROPHONE FEEDBACK) 219 00:08:48,908 --> 00:08:50,941 (AMPLIFIED CREAKING) 220 00:08:51,123 --> 00:08:53,801 COLIN: Council. Uh, Madam President. 221 00:08:53,826 --> 00:08:55,947 When it comes to zoning ordinances, 222 00:08:55,972 --> 00:08:57,972 I have a few thoughts. 223 00:08:57,997 --> 00:09:00,273 "Ordinance." What does it mean? 224 00:09:00,502 --> 00:09:02,735 Webster's Unabridged Dictionay 225 00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:05,031 defines "ordinance" as an "authoritative..." 226 00:09:05,056 --> 00:09:07,118 We will here demand our power. 227 00:09:07,143 --> 00:09:08,955 We have come up with a list of all the things 228 00:09:08,980 --> 00:09:12,171 we would like to change once the vampires are in charge. 229 00:09:12,196 --> 00:09:15,910 I'd like to see the construction of a huge opaque dome 230 00:09:15,935 --> 00:09:17,849 the size of the city, 231 00:09:17,874 --> 00:09:21,810 covering the city, and blocking out all sunlight. 232 00:09:21,835 --> 00:09:24,402 No noise during daylight hours. 233 00:09:24,427 --> 00:09:28,161 All local churches to destroy their crucifixes. 234 00:09:28,186 --> 00:09:30,052 A total ban on turtlenecks. 235 00:09:30,077 --> 00:09:32,010 A vampire-only television channel. 236 00:09:32,035 --> 00:09:33,345 I would like for me, personally, 237 00:09:33,370 --> 00:09:35,790 my favorite comedy, Priests Falling Over. 238 00:09:35,815 --> 00:09:39,766 Free but compulsory harpsichord concerts 239 00:09:39,966 --> 00:09:41,479 every day of the week. 240 00:09:41,504 --> 00:09:44,275 We would have nun-free zones with a sign that says: 241 00:09:44,300 --> 00:09:47,448 "No Nuns. No Nuns. None." 242 00:09:47,928 --> 00:09:50,704 COLIN: So in closing, hopefully next week, 243 00:09:50,729 --> 00:09:55,055 I can, uh, provide a little bit more clarity, 244 00:09:55,080 --> 00:09:56,486 uh, as to the direction 245 00:09:56,511 --> 00:09:59,556 I feel like, uh, our zoning laws should go. 246 00:09:59,581 --> 00:10:01,184 Thank you so much. 247 00:10:01,209 --> 00:10:04,065 BARBARA: Thank you, Mr. Robinson. 248 00:10:04,090 --> 00:10:05,736 Is Mr., uh, 249 00:10:05,761 --> 00:10:07,473 Nandor? 250 00:10:07,498 --> 00:10:09,297 Mr. Nandor? 251 00:10:09,322 --> 00:10:10,411 Yes. 252 00:10:10,436 --> 00:10:12,289 (QUIETLY): I got this. 253 00:10:15,673 --> 00:10:17,942 - Greetings, mortals. - (MICROPHONE FEEDBACK) 254 00:10:17,967 --> 00:10:19,361 I will make this quick. 255 00:10:19,958 --> 00:10:23,060 I, Nandor the Relentless, 256 00:10:23,381 --> 00:10:25,231 conqueror of thousands, 257 00:10:25,300 --> 00:10:27,151 immortal warrior 258 00:10:27,217 --> 00:10:31,910 who has twice turned the Euphrates itself red with blood, 259 00:10:32,036 --> 00:10:36,367 hereby demand the complete and total supplication 260 00:10:36,392 --> 00:10:40,302 of this governing body to my command! 261 00:10:40,827 --> 00:10:44,979 Submit and receive mercy. 262 00:10:45,232 --> 00:10:46,684 Resist... 263 00:10:46,826 --> 00:10:49,320 and only death awaits. 264 00:10:49,727 --> 00:10:51,742 (MAN COUGHS) 265 00:10:54,059 --> 00:10:57,128 Thank you for your input, uh, Mr. Nandor... 266 00:10:57,153 --> 00:10:58,296 He's blown it. 267 00:10:58,321 --> 00:11:00,466 Hasn't even mentioned the turtlenecks. 268 00:11:00,942 --> 00:11:02,596 To zoning ordinances, 269 00:11:02,621 --> 00:11:05,434 but if you would like to return... 270 00:11:05,783 --> 00:11:07,309 - Yes. - When we have a... 271 00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:09,943 Yes, I would very much like to-to return then. 272 00:11:09,968 --> 00:11:11,863 - When we have an open session... - Great. 273 00:11:11,888 --> 00:11:13,390 You are entirely welcome to join. 274 00:11:13,415 --> 00:11:15,482 Fantastic. Great. When would that be? 275 00:11:15,507 --> 00:11:16,762 In about two months. 276 00:11:16,787 --> 00:11:19,199 But if you access our website... 277 00:11:19,224 --> 00:11:21,048 Uh, do you have a computer? 278 00:11:21,073 --> 00:11:22,553 That will be the perfect time 279 00:11:22,578 --> 00:11:24,097 - for you to speak. - Great. Fantastic. 280 00:11:24,122 --> 00:11:25,934 I live on Tanglewood, 281 00:11:26,072 --> 00:11:28,551 and the bar on the ground floor below my apartment... 282 00:11:28,575 --> 00:11:31,153 LASZLO: How best to describe Nandor? I would say that 283 00:11:31,178 --> 00:11:35,035 he's blessedly unburdened with the complications 284 00:11:35,201 --> 00:11:37,091 of a university education. 285 00:11:37,116 --> 00:11:40,420 But give him an ax, and he's second to none. 286 00:11:40,504 --> 00:11:42,687 Though you wouldn't want him as your barrister. 287 00:11:42,712 --> 00:11:44,470 Ha! 288 00:11:44,839 --> 00:11:46,839 Don't let him fucking see this. 289 00:11:51,635 --> 00:11:54,360 LASZLO: So, their leader is the Lazarro shrew? 290 00:11:54,385 --> 00:11:55,447 COLIN: Correct. 291 00:11:55,472 --> 00:11:57,746 Where lies Barbara Lazarro's weakest point? 292 00:11:57,771 --> 00:11:59,584 Oh, her Achilles' heel? 293 00:11:59,609 --> 00:12:02,102 So it's her foot? Well, that's simple. 294 00:12:02,127 --> 00:12:05,176 - I know exactly what to do. - I meant in Greek mythology, 295 00:12:05,201 --> 00:12:07,250 there's a human who's held by his... 296 00:12:07,275 --> 00:12:09,274 Stop talking. Who would you say 297 00:12:09,299 --> 00:12:11,564 is the most powerful member of that group? 298 00:12:11,589 --> 00:12:13,326 Well, Ms. Lazarro. But Doug Peterson 299 00:12:13,351 --> 00:12:15,864 is looking to unseat her in the upcoming election. 300 00:12:15,889 --> 00:12:17,661 Some people think he has a chance. 301 00:12:17,686 --> 00:12:19,832 - The streak of piss with a case? - COLIN: Yeah. 302 00:12:19,908 --> 00:12:22,462 Shall we kill him as a warning? 303 00:12:22,487 --> 00:12:25,635 No. Let's use him as a pawn, 304 00:12:25,835 --> 00:12:28,223 but then I will visit Barbara Lazarro 305 00:12:28,257 --> 00:12:30,471 - under cover of night. - Yeah! 306 00:12:30,496 --> 00:12:31,980 (CHUCKLING) 307 00:12:32,667 --> 00:12:34,500 Where's Nadja? 308 00:12:35,077 --> 00:12:37,043 (BAT SQUEAKING) 309 00:12:37,205 --> 00:12:38,994 Hello, cheeky little one. 310 00:12:39,019 --> 00:12:41,081 Out having some fun, are we? 311 00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:44,736 - Uh, not really. - Oh, no. 312 00:12:44,761 --> 00:12:46,182 NADJA: I remember how it feels 313 00:12:46,207 --> 00:12:48,079 to be powerless and disrespected. 314 00:12:48,104 --> 00:12:51,143 Back home in my village, I had many strikes against me. 315 00:12:51,238 --> 00:12:54,734 I was a woman, and I had Gypsy blood, and we were so poor 316 00:12:54,759 --> 00:12:57,526 that we used to use donkey dung for fuel, 317 00:12:57,650 --> 00:12:59,827 and when the donkey dung ran out, 318 00:13:00,199 --> 00:13:02,164 we would have to burn the donkey. 319 00:13:02,402 --> 00:13:05,152 So yes, I do know what it feels like 320 00:13:05,188 --> 00:13:06,715 to be mocked and teased 321 00:13:06,740 --> 00:13:08,773 and to cry myself to sleep at night 322 00:13:08,798 --> 00:13:11,058 by the light of a burning donkey. 323 00:13:11,301 --> 00:13:12,806 Are those little dogshits not giving you 324 00:13:12,831 --> 00:13:14,898 the deep respect you deserve? 325 00:13:15,553 --> 00:13:16,985 Yeah. 326 00:13:17,146 --> 00:13:21,337 Come. Let's walk and talk about what the future could be like 327 00:13:21,362 --> 00:13:23,373 for the new Jenna. 328 00:13:23,899 --> 00:13:27,095 LASZLO: Now, my plan is to win the trust of Barbara Lazarro. 329 00:13:27,126 --> 00:13:28,352 Am I devious? 330 00:13:28,377 --> 00:13:30,176 Yes, I think I am. 331 00:13:30,201 --> 00:13:31,720 But as the old saying goes, 332 00:13:31,745 --> 00:13:33,684 I didn't come here to make friends. 333 00:13:33,964 --> 00:13:35,493 That's bullshit. 334 00:13:35,518 --> 00:13:37,484 That's exactly what I came here to do. 335 00:13:37,509 --> 00:13:40,326 - Uh, yes? - Good evening, Madam Lazarro. 336 00:13:40,418 --> 00:13:42,685 My name is Laszlo Cravensworth. 337 00:13:42,710 --> 00:13:43,955 And who do we have here? 338 00:13:43,980 --> 00:13:46,502 Oh, I'm watching my little granddaughter for the night. 339 00:13:46,527 --> 00:13:48,882 What a lovely little nibble she would be. 340 00:13:49,421 --> 00:13:51,533 I'm sorry, do I know you? 341 00:13:51,558 --> 00:13:52,794 Well, you do now. 342 00:13:52,819 --> 00:13:55,018 And may I say you are a credit 343 00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:57,109 to the women's suffragette movement. 344 00:13:57,134 --> 00:14:00,028 And you're also very easy on the eye. 345 00:14:00,053 --> 00:14:01,572 And I'm glad to see your foot injury 346 00:14:01,605 --> 00:14:03,660 - isn't slowing you down. - My what? 347 00:14:03,685 --> 00:14:04,870 Your foot. 348 00:14:05,301 --> 00:14:08,170 Now, I come to you with a warning. 349 00:14:08,195 --> 00:14:11,213 Those who you trust cannot be trusted. 350 00:14:11,445 --> 00:14:14,140 - But I am here to help you with that. - Now, if-if this is 351 00:14:14,165 --> 00:14:17,527 borough council-related, I have regular office hours. 352 00:14:17,552 --> 00:14:21,940 If there is a stone, so to speak, in your shoe 353 00:14:21,965 --> 00:14:24,493 that needs eliminating... 354 00:14:24,839 --> 00:14:28,084 I-I mean, the... the raccoon population is out of control. 355 00:14:28,109 --> 00:14:31,478 Saw three of them in my garbage can this morning. Three! 356 00:14:31,503 --> 00:14:35,473 - It's a nightmare. - Really? I do like a direct woman. 357 00:14:38,317 --> 00:14:39,449 You know, I... 358 00:14:39,521 --> 00:14:41,320 (BABY FUSSING) 359 00:14:41,372 --> 00:14:43,823 I really do have to get Emily here, um, 360 00:14:43,848 --> 00:14:45,329 bathed and washed. 361 00:14:45,354 --> 00:14:48,064 Uh, why don't you, uh, call my office in the morning, 362 00:14:48,089 --> 00:14:50,041 and I'll... I'll try to see if I can find someone 363 00:14:50,066 --> 00:14:53,049 who can help you with whatever it is you need help with. 364 00:14:53,074 --> 00:14:55,179 It's not I who needs help, it's you. 365 00:14:55,204 --> 00:14:57,119 So it's me who's ending this conversation. 366 00:14:57,144 --> 00:14:58,477 Not you. 367 00:14:59,516 --> 00:15:00,648 And... 368 00:15:00,673 --> 00:15:03,319 you won't remember a thing about it. 369 00:15:03,409 --> 00:15:05,587 And, you, my darling, won't remember a thing 370 00:15:05,612 --> 00:15:07,829 about a damn thing. (KISSES) 371 00:15:08,251 --> 00:15:11,494 NANDOR: Trying to ally with Barbara Lazarro 372 00:15:11,527 --> 00:15:12,893 is a shit plan. 373 00:15:13,131 --> 00:15:15,093 The power move here 374 00:15:15,118 --> 00:15:19,969 is to make Doug Peterson my personal agent of chaos. 375 00:15:19,994 --> 00:15:22,595 Peterson destroys Lazarro, 376 00:15:22,620 --> 00:15:25,620 Nandor destroys Peterson 377 00:15:25,645 --> 00:15:29,746 and the council is mine. 378 00:15:29,975 --> 00:15:31,642 (BAT SQUEAKING) 379 00:15:32,737 --> 00:15:35,425 That's a nice little bitch you've got there. 380 00:15:35,699 --> 00:15:36,801 Pardon me? 381 00:15:36,826 --> 00:15:38,779 A nice little bitch being led on a leash 382 00:15:38,804 --> 00:15:40,810 by a frightened little man. 383 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:43,140 It reminds me of how you are led about on a leash 384 00:15:43,165 --> 00:15:46,099 by the human bitch Barbara Lazarro. 385 00:15:46,247 --> 00:15:47,656 Look, I don't want any trouble, okay? 386 00:15:47,681 --> 00:15:48,814 So just take my wallet. 387 00:15:48,839 --> 00:15:51,390 I'm not here to rob you, little man. 388 00:15:51,415 --> 00:15:53,418 All right, let's do it the fast way. 389 00:15:54,194 --> 00:15:57,812 Tonight before you drift into a slumber, 390 00:15:57,837 --> 00:16:01,684 you will hear a voice that will command your actions. 391 00:16:02,384 --> 00:16:03,605 Okay. 392 00:16:04,071 --> 00:16:05,357 Oh. 393 00:16:05,382 --> 00:16:07,904 Okay. Great. 394 00:16:09,764 --> 00:16:11,964 JENNA: Is this like a Tony Robbins, like, 395 00:16:11,989 --> 00:16:13,678 Unleash the Power Within thing? 396 00:16:13,703 --> 00:16:16,640 Unleash the power. Yes, exactly. Yes. 397 00:16:16,664 --> 00:16:19,398 You're saying that would help me sed-seduce men? 398 00:16:19,423 --> 00:16:21,014 And destroy them. 399 00:16:21,039 --> 00:16:24,257 - And women, too. (CHUCKLES) - Oh. 400 00:16:24,282 --> 00:16:25,607 Yeah, I-I should be honest. 401 00:16:25,632 --> 00:16:28,232 I have... I have a boyfriend, 402 00:16:28,257 --> 00:16:29,679 and we do s-stuff. 403 00:16:29,704 --> 00:16:31,771 I mean, we do stuff on camera 404 00:16:31,796 --> 00:16:35,122 because that's... that's the stuff he likes, 405 00:16:35,147 --> 00:16:37,872 and that's the stuff that he tells me I like. 406 00:16:37,897 --> 00:16:41,054 You know what? Just college is, like, a really complicated time. 407 00:16:43,104 --> 00:16:45,070 This is college, right? 408 00:16:45,095 --> 00:16:48,773 Here I am, and this-this beautiful older woman 409 00:16:48,798 --> 00:16:51,194 wants to take me on a sexual journey. 410 00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:52,451 And, like, I... 411 00:16:52,487 --> 00:16:54,539 Are you a junior? Are you a senior? 412 00:16:54,564 --> 00:16:55,563 I'm senior. 413 00:16:55,588 --> 00:16:56,780 - (CHUCKLES) - Oh. Okay. 414 00:16:56,805 --> 00:16:59,011 And you are just a fresh baby 415 00:16:59,036 --> 00:17:01,038 shot out of her mother's womb, 416 00:17:01,079 --> 00:17:02,930 glistening with light. 417 00:17:03,933 --> 00:17:05,643 Thank you. 418 00:17:05,668 --> 00:17:07,857 You're sure you want to do this? 419 00:17:08,166 --> 00:17:09,651 Um... 420 00:17:09,676 --> 00:17:11,739 I should be honest with you. 421 00:17:11,764 --> 00:17:13,659 I'm a virgin. 422 00:17:15,883 --> 00:17:17,749 Maybe we should just start 423 00:17:17,774 --> 00:17:20,042 - with mouth stuff, if that's okay. - Mm-hmm. Yes. 424 00:17:20,067 --> 00:17:22,070 Just mouth stuff. 425 00:17:22,634 --> 00:17:24,767 (GROWLS) 426 00:17:25,116 --> 00:17:27,269 Ow. Uh... 427 00:17:27,371 --> 00:17:29,037 Oh. 428 00:17:29,279 --> 00:17:31,695 Wowie zowie, that is... 429 00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:33,653 (MUFFLED): Uh, shush, darling. You don't need to talk. 430 00:17:33,678 --> 00:17:35,711 Oh, I'm sorry. I always talk too much. 431 00:17:35,736 --> 00:17:37,373 Oh, ah! 432 00:17:37,398 --> 00:17:38,878 The Lazarro woman's demanded proof 433 00:17:38,903 --> 00:17:41,370 of my ability as an ally, 434 00:17:41,395 --> 00:17:44,346 so, uh... here goes. 435 00:17:45,100 --> 00:17:47,852 Hello, my little nighttime brother. 436 00:17:47,877 --> 00:17:49,773 Fuck me. 437 00:17:50,561 --> 00:17:52,497 Fucking thing just bit me. 438 00:17:52,522 --> 00:17:54,405 But that'll heal immediately. 439 00:17:54,858 --> 00:17:56,045 There we are. 440 00:17:56,070 --> 00:17:57,936 Seems I overestimated our kinship. 441 00:17:57,961 --> 00:18:00,250 I'll have to take things up a notch. 442 00:18:01,691 --> 00:18:03,608 (CLARINET PLAYING) 443 00:18:08,953 --> 00:18:11,187 (RACCOONS CHITTERING) 444 00:18:20,373 --> 00:18:25,873 I call out to you through the ether, 445 00:18:25,898 --> 00:18:27,616 Doug... 446 00:18:29,945 --> 00:18:32,866 Peters. 447 00:18:33,125 --> 00:18:34,616 Peters? 448 00:18:34,641 --> 00:18:36,865 Peterson. Doug Peterson. 449 00:18:38,052 --> 00:18:42,268 I call out to you through the ether, 450 00:18:42,293 --> 00:18:45,627 Doug Peterson. 451 00:18:45,652 --> 00:18:47,047 (DOOR OPENS) 452 00:18:47,072 --> 00:18:48,095 - D... - GUILLERMO: Did you call me? 453 00:18:48,120 --> 00:18:49,218 What? 454 00:18:49,243 --> 00:18:51,428 - I just heard... Did you call me? - No. 455 00:18:51,453 --> 00:18:54,905 I was calling through the ether to Doug Peterson. 456 00:18:54,930 --> 00:18:56,045 - You're not calling. - No. 457 00:18:56,070 --> 00:18:58,073 If I need anything, I will call you. 458 00:18:58,098 --> 00:18:59,832 But not through the ether. 459 00:19:00,193 --> 00:19:01,996 Just by regular yelling. 460 00:19:02,128 --> 00:19:03,875 - All right, I'm sorry. - It's okay. 461 00:19:03,900 --> 00:19:06,339 Peterson. 462 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:11,807 Doug Peterson. 463 00:19:12,603 --> 00:19:15,940 Doug Peterson. 464 00:19:16,192 --> 00:19:19,656 Do you hear me call you? 465 00:19:20,316 --> 00:19:22,120 I hear you. 466 00:19:22,392 --> 00:19:23,998 NANDOR: Great. 467 00:19:24,023 --> 00:19:25,751 Hi, Doug. 468 00:19:28,558 --> 00:19:32,014 (CHUCKLES): Now, my sweet little baby turkey, 469 00:19:32,367 --> 00:19:35,062 I'd like you to drink something from this vial. 470 00:19:35,087 --> 00:19:36,732 - Huh? - Oh. 471 00:19:36,757 --> 00:19:38,653 Is it vodka or something? 472 00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:42,302 It's like a very strong spirit with a little spicy kick. 473 00:19:42,327 --> 00:19:44,831 Um, it is my blood. 474 00:19:45,970 --> 00:19:49,183 Well, your blood is delicious. 475 00:19:49,208 --> 00:19:51,176 (CHUCKLES) Why do they call it blood? 476 00:19:51,374 --> 00:19:53,869 Well, it's... it is the blood from my body, 477 00:19:53,894 --> 00:19:56,655 - so I-I call it my blood. - (CHUCKLES) 478 00:20:08,764 --> 00:20:10,631 (SCREAMS) 479 00:20:10,930 --> 00:20:14,180 I mean, w-we don't know who was behind this. 480 00:20:14,226 --> 00:20:16,686 Is this a gang-related activity? 481 00:20:16,711 --> 00:20:20,276 Is-is MS-13 sending a message? 482 00:20:20,301 --> 00:20:22,530 I gave you those raccoons as a bloody gift. 483 00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:25,119 BARBARA: This was a clear and direct threat 484 00:20:25,144 --> 00:20:26,544 to my well-being... 485 00:20:26,568 --> 00:20:28,329 NANDOR: They laughed at me. 486 00:20:28,354 --> 00:20:31,009 They will not be laughing now that I am about to unleash 487 00:20:31,034 --> 00:20:34,595 my hellhound Doug Peters... 488 00:20:35,294 --> 00:20:36,376 son. 489 00:20:36,401 --> 00:20:40,566 And to the safety of every member of this council. 490 00:20:40,591 --> 00:20:43,085 It's a grim portent of things to come 491 00:20:43,110 --> 00:20:45,658 if we don't surrender, you ignorant bitch. 492 00:20:45,799 --> 00:20:48,247 - (WHISPERS): Yes, Doug Peterson. - BARBARA: What? 493 00:20:48,272 --> 00:20:50,669 I will rip your head from your body. 494 00:20:50,694 --> 00:20:53,138 And I will hang your entrails 495 00:20:53,163 --> 00:20:55,362 from the traffic light on Hylan Boulevard 496 00:20:55,387 --> 00:20:57,310 so our new masters will see 497 00:20:57,335 --> 00:20:59,775 that only those who submit will survive! 498 00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:02,658 Mr. Peterson, you are way out of order. 499 00:21:02,683 --> 00:21:03,682 - (GRUNTING) - (BARBARA GASPS) 500 00:21:03,707 --> 00:21:06,074 Heed my vision before it's too late! 501 00:21:06,099 --> 00:21:07,487 I have received a message 502 00:21:07,512 --> 00:21:10,040 from a slouching beast in the night! 503 00:21:10,065 --> 00:21:12,629 (DOUG GRUNTING) 504 00:21:14,596 --> 00:21:16,947 - The man is quite obviously mad. - (DOUG SHOUTING) 505 00:21:16,972 --> 00:21:18,682 Or someone's driven him mad. 506 00:21:19,393 --> 00:21:22,227 Something terrible is coming! 507 00:21:22,306 --> 00:21:24,026 (SCREAMING) 508 00:21:24,148 --> 00:21:26,363 - This is an embarrassment. - (DOUG SHOUTING) 509 00:21:26,388 --> 00:21:27,654 Well, I did not hear you peep up 510 00:21:27,679 --> 00:21:29,291 when we were coming up with the new plan. 511 00:21:29,316 --> 00:21:30,744 I was making a new vampire. 512 00:21:30,769 --> 00:21:32,267 - I'm sorry, what? - Nothing. 513 00:21:32,292 --> 00:21:34,359 Perhaps we should come up with a new plan, then. 514 00:21:34,384 --> 00:21:38,185 DOUG: Vengeance will be mine when nightmares are made real! 515 00:21:38,210 --> 00:21:41,310 - Are you leaving with us? - No. I-I can't stand up right now, 516 00:21:41,335 --> 00:21:43,744 - if you know what I mean. (CHUCKLES) - (GROANS) 517 00:21:43,769 --> 00:21:46,947 DOUG: Tear the fucking veil of illusion from your eyes! 518 00:21:46,972 --> 00:21:49,101 And witness the hellscape that is our destiny! 519 00:21:49,126 --> 00:21:51,221 Wh-What was that about a vampire? 520 00:21:51,246 --> 00:21:54,880 DOUG: I will tear your balls off and feed them to your children! 521 00:21:55,218 --> 00:21:57,283 I, um... 522 00:21:57,647 --> 00:22:00,973 I've been fighting off this very intense... 523 00:22:00,998 --> 00:22:02,995 flu, I think? 524 00:22:03,020 --> 00:22:07,654 Um, 'cause I didn't have enough layers on the other night. 525 00:22:07,977 --> 00:22:09,658 Think it's mono. 526 00:22:10,052 --> 00:22:11,785 Uh, no, I don't... 527 00:22:12,202 --> 00:22:15,084 think it's... 528 00:22:19,813 --> 00:22:24,312 ♪ No vampires remain in Romania ♪ 529 00:22:27,169 --> 00:22:31,566 ♪ I am not your Dracula spectacular ♪ 530 00:22:31,591 --> 00:22:35,342 ♪ This is not your weekend in Vegas ♪ 531 00:22:35,367 --> 00:22:39,230 ♪ This is not your selfie obscura ♪ 532 00:22:39,255 --> 00:22:43,123 ♪ I am not your tour guide of Paris ♪ 533 00:22:43,148 --> 00:22:46,777 ♪ This is not West Hollywood on Thursday ♪ 534 00:22:46,802 --> 00:22:50,300 ♪ I am not your object d'art ♪ 535 00:22:50,325 --> 00:22:54,160 ♪ I am not your sepia heyday ♪ 536 00:22:54,185 --> 00:22:58,337 ♪ This is not the moment we part. ♪ 537 00:22:58,971 --> 00:23:02,379 - Synced and corrected by martythecrazy - - www.addic7ed.com -