1 00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:07,875 - (alarms blaring) - (overlapping shouts) 2 00:00:07,967 --> 00:00:09,887 (man on P.A., indistinct) 3 00:00:12,221 --> 00:00:14,851 MAN (on P.A.): All personnel report to stations. 4 00:00:23,315 --> 00:00:25,775 (alarms continue) 5 00:00:43,335 --> 00:00:46,125 (man on P.A., indistinct) 6 00:00:48,090 --> 00:00:50,720 All personnel report to stations. 7 00:01:16,911 --> 00:01:18,951 FEMALE VOICE: Biometric not recognized. 8 00:01:19,038 --> 00:01:21,868 MAN: Didn't know you were a lefty, Bob. 9 00:01:21,957 --> 00:01:24,877 - FEMALE VOICE (on P.A.): You have five seconds to present alternative identification. 10 00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:29,420 - Five, four, three... - (device beeping) 11 00:01:29,507 --> 00:01:31,837 Access granted. 12 00:01:36,347 --> 00:01:38,217 (air hissing) 13 00:01:38,307 --> 00:01:40,057 FEMALE VOICE (on P.A): Caution. Atmosphere unstable. 14 00:01:40,142 --> 00:01:41,312 (alarm beeping) 15 00:01:51,862 --> 00:01:54,032 MALE VOICE: There can be only one... (indistinct) 16 00:01:58,702 --> 00:02:01,542 MALE VOICE: Whosoever possesses the book 17 00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:04,042 shall wield such magicks. 18 00:02:08,045 --> 00:02:09,665 ♪♪ (theme) 19 00:02:18,889 --> 00:02:20,809 Emily must have loved having you around. 20 00:02:20,891 --> 00:02:23,141 - Always fixing things. - She did. 21 00:02:23,227 --> 00:02:24,687 Well, towards the end. 22 00:02:24,770 --> 00:02:27,190 The only thing I couldn't fix was us. 23 00:02:27,273 --> 00:02:29,363 And the downstairs toilet. 24 00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:31,281 Can I ask what happened? 25 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:33,900 Yeah, I just think a lifetime of heavy twos 26 00:02:33,988 --> 00:02:35,948 just kind of smashed the system up. 27 00:02:36,031 --> 00:02:39,121 - Oh, no, I meant between you and Emily. - Oh, sorry. 28 00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:41,291 I left. 29 00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:44,710 - Just felt like she was keeping something from me. - (door opens) 30 00:02:44,790 --> 00:02:48,250 Fellas, we've got a mission. 31 00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:50,455 Helen said we'd been contacted with a lead, 32 00:02:50,546 --> 00:02:52,666 by some new subscriber called JoJo74. 33 00:02:54,258 --> 00:02:56,008 - JoJo74. - Yeah. Inbox. 34 00:02:56,093 --> 00:02:57,803 Click it. 35 00:02:57,887 --> 00:03:00,677 JoJo74 said this was taken this morning 36 00:03:00,764 --> 00:03:03,774 - in a place called Bodmin. - Bodmin? 37 00:03:03,851 --> 00:03:05,391 The Bodmin? 38 00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:07,227 "Bodmin Moor in Cornwall" Bodmin? 39 00:03:07,313 --> 00:03:09,823 I don't know, but that's a big, bloody cat. 40 00:03:09,899 --> 00:03:11,979 Yeah, one might call it a beast. 41 00:03:14,612 --> 00:03:16,782 Beast of Bodmin Moor. 42 00:03:16,864 --> 00:03:19,534 Beast of Bodmin Moor. 43 00:03:21,577 --> 00:03:23,827 Listen, you said it was big. What scale are you using? 44 00:03:23,913 --> 00:03:25,663 That tree looks like a full grown 45 00:03:25,748 --> 00:03:28,288 quercus ellipsoidalis, about 10 meters tall. 46 00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:30,125 We can establish how big that cat is 47 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,880 using the tree as a reference. 48 00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:33,882 (chuckles) How come you know so much about trees? 49 00:03:33,964 --> 00:03:36,554 Oh, I used to work for family of tree surgeons couple years back. 50 00:03:36,634 --> 00:03:38,974 What is your best guesstimate for the size of this cat? 51 00:03:39,053 --> 00:03:43,433 Six feet, nose to tail, give or take. 52 00:03:43,515 --> 00:03:46,095 - It's a big boy. - It's a big boy. 53 00:03:46,185 --> 00:03:48,345 What say you we head down to Cornwall 54 00:03:48,437 --> 00:03:51,687 and capture ourselves a big cat? 55 00:03:51,774 --> 00:03:52,944 Fuck that. 56 00:03:53,025 --> 00:03:55,855 No, on video. We do it on video. 57 00:03:55,945 --> 00:03:58,945 Oh, yeah. That's all right, then. 58 00:04:06,121 --> 00:04:10,081 Here we are, Terry. The jump-off. 59 00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:12,797 From here, we shall leave this place and start again... 60 00:04:12,878 --> 00:04:14,298 (whispers) on Eternis. 61 00:04:14,380 --> 00:04:15,550 Eternis. 62 00:04:15,631 --> 00:04:17,051 We're so close now. 63 00:04:17,132 --> 00:04:18,592 Yes... 64 00:04:18,676 --> 00:04:21,636 we are, Terry. 65 00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:27,345 Just not you. 66 00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:29,694 - What do you mean? - (doors lock) 67 00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:32,650 Not everyone can make the transfer, Terry. 68 00:04:32,731 --> 00:04:35,861 Some of us need to make a different sacrifice. 69 00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:39,033 And you-- you've been chosen. 70 00:04:39,071 --> 00:04:41,701 Why? Why me? 71 00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:42,912 Thank you. 72 00:04:48,831 --> 00:04:50,671 (door handle rattling) 73 00:04:52,501 --> 00:04:54,501 (knocking) 74 00:04:54,586 --> 00:04:56,126 I love you, Terry. 75 00:04:56,213 --> 00:04:57,763 You know that, don't you? 76 00:05:00,426 --> 00:05:02,846 (device whines) 77 00:05:07,433 --> 00:05:11,733 - The range has improved. - Good. 78 00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,612 Because of Terry and his like, 79 00:05:13,689 --> 00:05:15,229 we will be able to make the transition. 80 00:05:17,151 --> 00:05:18,941 Let's take a brief moment 81 00:05:19,028 --> 00:05:20,488 to cherish the gift Terry has offered us. 82 00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,405 (inhales) Okay. 83 00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:28,873 Make sure you burn that before you get rid of it, will you? 84 00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:31,004 Just gonna go and get a cappuccino. 85 00:05:36,378 --> 00:05:38,208 - ASTRID: What's that? - ELTON: Careful. It's a spirit pod. 86 00:05:38,297 --> 00:05:39,877 (door slides, slams) 87 00:05:39,965 --> 00:05:42,335 - You're up early. - Yeah, well, if you must know, 88 00:05:42,426 --> 00:05:44,466 got an overactive hemorrhoid. 89 00:05:46,263 --> 00:05:48,223 Oh, look at her. 90 00:05:48,307 --> 00:05:50,307 She's beautiful. 91 00:05:50,392 --> 00:05:53,102 You know, you can teach yourself not to think about it, 92 00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:56,107 you forget it even, but once in a while, 93 00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:59,190 it's just very, very painful. 94 00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:03,278 Are we talking about Emily or your hemorrhoid? 95 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:05,573 Emily, you daft twit. 96 00:06:05,657 --> 00:06:08,037 But admittedly, it could apply to both. 97 00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:09,748 (door opens) 98 00:06:09,828 --> 00:06:11,998 "HMS Darkside" ready for pre-flight checks. 99 00:06:12,081 --> 00:06:14,121 Oh, hang on. You going out again? 100 00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:15,708 You know I am. 101 00:06:15,793 --> 00:06:17,803 Well, what if I was to fall over an die? 102 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:20,208 Ah, you know-- It's nature's away, isn't it? 103 00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:21,547 Listen, Helen's gonna come over 104 00:06:21,632 --> 00:06:22,882 and cut some videos for the channel. 105 00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:24,466 - Oh, she's coming over now? - Yeah. 106 00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:27,431 Well, I like Helen, 'cause she gets me. 107 00:06:27,513 --> 00:06:29,643 -She just pulled up. -Oh, bollocks. 108 00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:33,601 Better make myself presentable. 109 00:06:36,438 --> 00:06:37,768 Oh, come on. 110 00:06:37,856 --> 00:06:39,396 - (Helen shouting in distance) - Oh, oh. 111 00:06:41,777 --> 00:06:44,607 Come on. Oh, bollocks. 112 00:06:46,365 --> 00:06:49,905 Hey, guys. So... Where shall I set up? 113 00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:53,124 Ooh! Can I drive "Darkside"? 114 00:06:53,205 --> 00:06:55,705 No, you're never gonna drive "Darkside." 115 00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:07,299 (phone ringing) 116 00:07:07,386 --> 00:07:09,846 Hello, Gus Roberts's phone. Gus Roberts speaking. 117 00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:13,180 Gus, it's Dave. I'm gonna give Elton a call as well, 118 00:07:13,267 --> 00:07:15,187 but I'd thought I'd start with the brains of the operation. 119 00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:17,479 GUS: Yeah, Elton's actually here with me. 120 00:07:17,563 --> 00:07:19,403 - Dave, you're on speakerphone. - ELTON: Hello, Dave. 121 00:07:19,481 --> 00:07:22,651 And then move on to the sheer, bloody charisma and good looks. 122 00:07:22,734 --> 00:07:24,324 Thanks, Dave. 123 00:07:24,403 --> 00:07:27,113 Well, employees socializing on the weekend, 124 00:07:27,197 --> 00:07:29,987 that certainly puts a "Smyle" on my face. 125 00:07:30,075 --> 00:07:31,615 Yeah, we're taking "HMS Darkside" 126 00:07:31,702 --> 00:07:33,792 - on a little weekend jaunt. - Don't tell him. 127 00:07:33,871 --> 00:07:36,461 Let me assure you that I will not be invoicing 128 00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:38,380 the company for any fuel that we use. 129 00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,088 GUS (on speaker): I will rely on my own private fuel. 130 00:07:40,169 --> 00:07:42,549 You shall do no such thing, Gus. 131 00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:45,469 I'm sure Smyle wouldn't begrudge its two top employees 132 00:07:45,549 --> 00:07:47,629 a little extra-curricular team-building activity. 133 00:07:47,718 --> 00:07:50,348 - Did you say "top employees"? - DAVE: I did. 134 00:07:50,429 --> 00:07:52,059 That's exactly why I'm calling. 135 00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:55,559 You, gentlemen, have received the most Smyle points this month 136 00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:57,022 by a country mile. 137 00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:59,772 Lovely. Very encouraging. Thank you, Dave. 138 00:07:59,855 --> 00:08:01,605 So, where are you off to? 139 00:08:01,690 --> 00:08:04,280 - Bodmin Moor. - Bodmin? The Bodmin? 140 00:08:04,359 --> 00:08:06,609 "Bodmin Moor in Cornwall" Bodmin? 141 00:08:06,695 --> 00:08:09,355 Are you two hoping to catch a glimpse of the elusive beast? 142 00:08:09,448 --> 00:08:11,068 Well, it's not just us. Astrid's here, too. 143 00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:13,618 Oh, yes, that strange, little pixie girl-- 144 00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:17,002 - ASTRID: Hi, Dave. - ...who so enchanted me when I met her. 145 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:19,170 All right then. Well, have a great time. 146 00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:21,499 And try not to get mauled to death. 147 00:08:21,585 --> 00:08:23,335 (laughs) Good-bye. 148 00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:24,590 (beeps) 149 00:08:37,768 --> 00:08:38,848 Bjorn? 150 00:08:40,103 --> 00:08:42,613 Join us this week 151 00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:45,399 from peaceful Bodmin, 152 00:08:45,484 --> 00:08:48,864 the jewel in the Dorset Coast's crown. 153 00:08:48,946 --> 00:08:50,106 (indistinct) 154 00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:53,782 (clears throat) 155 00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:56,577 Once Private Atkins' spirit had been transported 156 00:08:56,662 --> 00:08:58,832 into this ellexatron machine, 157 00:08:58,914 --> 00:09:03,094 he took over the primary functions of the ellexatron, 158 00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:04,708 and he made sure no signal got out, 159 00:09:04,795 --> 00:09:08,965 no phone, no radio, no telephone, 160 00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:11,219 no Wi-Fi, no signal... (continues indistinctly) 161 00:09:21,436 --> 00:09:23,936 - Tea? - Uh, yeah. 162 00:09:24,022 --> 00:09:27,282 That'd be-- That'd be nice. Oh, you look smart. 163 00:09:27,359 --> 00:09:29,189 Are you popping out somewhere? 164 00:09:29,278 --> 00:09:30,988 Well, I like to maintain a degree 165 00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:33,121 of sartorial elegance around the house. 166 00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:37,448 I mean, what are we, if we can't have a bit of class? 167 00:09:37,536 --> 00:09:39,576 I mean, there's no excuse for looking like a cunt. 168 00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:44,543 Hmm. Well, do you mind if I keep you company? 169 00:09:44,626 --> 00:09:46,836 No, I'd really appreciate that. 170 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:48,670 I only ever see Elton. 171 00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:51,505 Well, I only ever see Gus. 172 00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,971 I thought you got all your friends on your video, right? 173 00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:56,222 All my friends are virtual. 174 00:09:56,305 --> 00:09:58,675 Oh. All my friends are dead. 175 00:10:04,021 --> 00:10:06,361 Gus: Must be close. We've been in Bodmin for a while now. 176 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:09,690 Yeah. We need to find the exact location the picture was taken. 177 00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:12,946 Ooh, this building in the picture looks like a Happy Eater. 178 00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:14,660 Have a little "snackeroonie" before we start? 179 00:10:14,740 --> 00:10:16,620 Yeah, good luck. 180 00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:18,660 That building has probably been abandoned 181 00:10:18,744 --> 00:10:20,624 - for over 20 years. - How do you know? 182 00:10:20,704 --> 00:10:22,544 Because Happy Eater went bust in 1997. 183 00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:26,082 Hmm. What a shame. I used to love an eggy bender. 184 00:10:26,168 --> 00:10:29,248 Oh, sorry, but, uh, eggy bender was Wimpy. 185 00:10:29,338 --> 00:10:32,008 Was it? I thought they did the royal breakfast. 186 00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:35,010 Nope. That was Little Chef. 187 00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:37,303 - I spent two weeks as a line cook 188 00:10:37,387 --> 00:10:38,847 at the Oxford Bypass services. 189 00:10:38,930 --> 00:10:41,810 Of course, you did. All right. 190 00:10:41,892 --> 00:10:44,022 - I think it is up here on the left. - (blinker clicking) 191 00:10:52,861 --> 00:10:55,661 Helen, may I ask you a question? 192 00:10:55,739 --> 00:10:58,199 Uh, yeah, of course. 193 00:10:58,283 --> 00:11:00,663 I don't mean to be patronizing, 194 00:11:00,744 --> 00:11:03,754 but you seem to be quite a fragile thing. 195 00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:05,790 Are you ill? 196 00:11:05,874 --> 00:11:08,884 Um, guess I am. 197 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,510 Got quite a few things wrong with me. 198 00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:14,048 Um, my ankle, my wrist. 199 00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:16,762 I get tired. I get anxious. 200 00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:19,263 - What are you anxious about? - Everything. 201 00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:22,136 Makes it hard to make friends. 202 00:11:22,224 --> 00:11:25,484 Oh, yeah, I had a friend once. 203 00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:27,900 We used to play chess every Saturday morning. 204 00:11:27,979 --> 00:11:28,939 (chuckles) 205 00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:31,732 Yeah, he was very interesting. 206 00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:36,822 He lost both legs. 207 00:11:36,905 --> 00:11:39,485 The retaking of Goose Green. 208 00:11:39,574 --> 00:11:42,794 - Poor guy. - Yeah. 209 00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:45,789 Funny thing was is his nickname was Stumpy 210 00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:49,172 before it all happened. 211 00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:52,801 Just didn't feel like I could call him that after. 212 00:11:52,879 --> 00:11:54,969 What did you call him? 213 00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:56,878 Knobby No-Legs. 214 00:11:56,967 --> 00:11:59,507 I don't know what happened to him. 215 00:11:59,594 --> 00:12:01,894 We must have had a falling out. 216 00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:05,887 Can I ask you a question? 217 00:12:05,976 --> 00:12:08,556 Of course. 218 00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:11,145 What's wrong with your eye? 219 00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:13,021 Ah, just gammy for the mo. 220 00:12:13,108 --> 00:12:16,108 Why? Is it putting you off your biscuits? 221 00:12:17,612 --> 00:12:18,702 No. 222 00:12:20,282 --> 00:12:23,372 I know. Why don't we pop out and have a brunch? 223 00:12:23,452 --> 00:12:25,122 Mmm. Yeah, 224 00:12:25,203 --> 00:12:28,673 I can't really do rooms full of strangers eating. 225 00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:31,328 - Sorry. - Well, um, why don't we order in? 226 00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:36,008 - I mean, what do you fancy? - Hmm. Italian? 227 00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:39,759 - Chinese. - I know just the place. 228 00:12:39,843 --> 00:12:42,433 Ah! That Happy Eater smell! 229 00:12:42,512 --> 00:12:46,982 Chips, animal fat, disinfectant. 230 00:12:47,058 --> 00:12:48,688 - Lovely. - Oh, there it is. 231 00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,228 GUS: There it is. 232 00:12:50,312 --> 00:12:53,902 Okay, well, look, let's shoot an intro, 233 00:12:53,982 --> 00:12:55,532 and then let's start chumming the area with cat food, okay? 234 00:12:55,609 --> 00:12:56,939 I'll shoot it. 235 00:12:57,027 --> 00:12:59,107 - I'm happy not to be on camera. - Okay. 236 00:12:59,196 --> 00:13:01,736 -I'll direct. -What qualifications do you have? 237 00:13:01,823 --> 00:13:04,243 I did a media studies course at Middlesex University. 238 00:13:04,326 --> 00:13:06,866 You're probably over qualified. Where do you want me? 239 00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:11,213 Well, how about right there? The light's good. 240 00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:12,881 - Um, Elton. - Mm-hmm? 241 00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:15,959 Can you leave some space on the right side of frame? 242 00:13:16,046 --> 00:13:18,756 - We can overlay graphics in post. - Got it, Chief. 243 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:20,930 - Should we work out what I'm gonna say? - Action! 244 00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:23,679 This place... 245 00:13:23,762 --> 00:13:26,642 raised by cheeky, chubby, happy ponies... 246 00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:28,813 is Bodmin Moor... 247 00:13:28,892 --> 00:13:30,692 the jewel in Cornwall's 248 00:13:30,769 --> 00:13:32,649 already jewel-laden crown. 249 00:13:32,729 --> 00:13:34,359 Cornwall, Kernow 250 00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:36,899 as she's known here in local Cornish tongue, 251 00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:41,283 is a ancient county rich in mystical heritage. 252 00:13:41,363 --> 00:13:44,743 Over this way, her two highest peaks-- 253 00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:47,664 Rough Tor and the slightly more impressive Brown Willy. 254 00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:49,004 - (snickers) - Oh, come on. 255 00:13:49,079 --> 00:13:50,829 - Not cool. - ELTON: Sorry. 256 00:13:50,914 --> 00:13:54,294 But it's here in the parking lot of this deserted Happy Eater 257 00:13:54,376 --> 00:13:57,126 that today I come to dine upon my truth. 258 00:14:00,549 --> 00:14:02,759 - And cut. Lovely work. - (camera beeps) 259 00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,762 - Yeah? - ELTON: Yeah. 260 00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:07,644 All right, let's get ourselves a bit cut, yeah? Let's go. 261 00:14:07,722 --> 00:14:09,932 - ASTRID: Seriously. Good job. - GUS: Thanks, man. Cheers. 262 00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:14,770 Well, I must say, the sweet and sour prawn ball pizza 263 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:17,614 was quite an experience. 264 00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:19,321 Can I get a closer look at your eye? 265 00:14:19,401 --> 00:14:20,571 Really? 266 00:14:20,652 --> 00:14:22,322 - Yeah. - Okay. 267 00:14:22,404 --> 00:14:24,574 Okay. 268 00:14:24,656 --> 00:14:29,036 Yeah, I think I first noticed it when I came back from that 269 00:14:29,119 --> 00:14:31,159 "con-con-con-com" place. 270 00:14:31,246 --> 00:14:34,576 Think there might be a little puncture wound 271 00:14:34,666 --> 00:14:36,036 Oh, really? 272 00:14:36,126 --> 00:14:37,956 Do you remember being poked in the eye 273 00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:39,844 by a sharp object recently? 274 00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:45,549 No, not that I recall. 275 00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:46,885 Would you mind if I take a photo of it? 276 00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:49,010 It's just that, if I could reproduce it, 277 00:14:49,097 --> 00:14:52,807 it would make a great look for a rage zombie cosplay-- 278 00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:55,652 (sighs) I don't understand what you said, 279 00:14:55,729 --> 00:14:59,269 but, you know, I trust you, so... yes. 280 00:14:59,357 --> 00:15:00,777 Okay. Thank you. 281 00:15:00,859 --> 00:15:04,739 And I'm gonna get a bit closer. 282 00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:06,701 Got it. Bingo. Thank you so much. 283 00:15:06,781 --> 00:15:07,821 Here, puss puss. 284 00:15:10,327 --> 00:15:13,037 Pussy, pussy. 285 00:15:13,121 --> 00:15:15,331 It's well spooky out, eh? 286 00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:16,875 ASTRID: Keep your eyes peeled. 287 00:15:16,958 --> 00:15:19,458 JoJo74 said she saw the beast today. 288 00:15:19,544 --> 00:15:21,554 GUS: Uh, guys. 289 00:15:21,630 --> 00:15:24,630 Wow! Look at this! (chuckles) 290 00:15:24,716 --> 00:15:26,836 - ASTRID: That poo? - GUS: Yeah. 291 00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,596 It's amazing. (chuckles) 292 00:15:28,678 --> 00:15:31,308 - Turn over on this. - Yeah, okay. 293 00:15:31,389 --> 00:15:35,019 - You wanna get closer? - Um, I'll zoom. I'll zoom. 294 00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:36,601 Oh, fine. 295 00:15:36,686 --> 00:15:38,306 And turning. 296 00:15:38,396 --> 00:15:40,606 Something very big has come this way. 297 00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:42,150 This spore, 298 00:15:42,233 --> 00:15:44,783 almost certainly a large, feline number two. 299 00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:47,661 - ELTON: The number of the beast? - GUS: What are you saying? 300 00:15:47,739 --> 00:15:50,909 - Num-- Just a joke. - GUS: Something funny? 301 00:15:50,992 --> 00:15:52,082 If you're not gonna take this seriously, 302 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:52,910 just go wait in the van. 303 00:15:52,994 --> 00:15:54,914 Sorry. It was just a joke. 304 00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:58,456 Here. Take this. 305 00:15:58,541 --> 00:16:00,881 Baggie up. Pop it in your little knapsack. 306 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,840 - Oh, come on, mate. - Well, come on. 307 00:16:06,216 --> 00:16:08,006 Oh, my God. 308 00:16:08,093 --> 00:16:09,893 GUS: Big one, isn't it? 309 00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:11,849 So thick. 310 00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:15,891 (retches) 311 00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:17,305 GUS: Let me touch it. 312 00:16:17,394 --> 00:16:19,064 Oh. 313 00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:20,725 Oh, my God. 314 00:16:20,814 --> 00:16:23,154 It's so rich. It's like Play-Doh. 315 00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:25,073 - Stop, that's disgusting. - It's 23 degree "C." 316 00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:27,451 - It's incred-- - (growling in distance) 317 00:16:27,529 --> 00:16:29,069 What the fuck? 318 00:16:31,574 --> 00:16:33,744 (growling in distance) 319 00:16:33,827 --> 00:16:34,787 (roars) 320 00:16:34,869 --> 00:16:37,659 (Elton shouting) 321 00:16:38,873 --> 00:16:40,463 ASTRID: Should we split up? 322 00:16:40,542 --> 00:16:42,382 GUS: No! It'll hunt the most vulnerable. 323 00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:46,010 I don't want anything to happen to-- Bloody hell. 324 00:16:46,089 --> 00:16:47,629 ASTRID: How'd it get in front of us? 325 00:16:47,716 --> 00:16:49,176 ELTON: Maybe there's two of them. 326 00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:50,839 GUS: It's not the Beasts of Bodmin Moor, is it? 327 00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:53,047 ELTON: So how can it be in two places? 328 00:16:53,138 --> 00:16:54,888 (creature growling) 329 00:16:54,973 --> 00:16:56,603 GUS: Shit! Run! 330 00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:58,353 (all shouting) 331 00:16:58,435 --> 00:16:59,595 ELTON: Let's just run to the van. 332 00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:00,846 GUS: Fuck the van. Get inside. 333 00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:05,149 (creature growling) 334 00:17:05,233 --> 00:17:07,033 Come on! 335 00:17:08,236 --> 00:17:09,896 Out of the way! 336 00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:12,818 ELTON: What are you doing? 337 00:17:16,911 --> 00:17:19,961 - Come on! Come on! - ASTRID: Got it. 338 00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:22,169 - Yes! - Let's go! 339 00:17:24,586 --> 00:17:26,166 - Where'd you learn to do that? - Brownies. 340 00:17:31,926 --> 00:17:33,796 (creature snarling) 341 00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:38,725 Put that in your bag. 342 00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:42,440 - Fuck is this? - (chuckles) 343 00:17:50,195 --> 00:17:53,695 ASTRID: How long has this place been deserted? 344 00:17:53,782 --> 00:17:55,622 GUS: Not that long by the looks of it. 345 00:18:10,632 --> 00:18:12,222 (creature snarls) 346 00:18:23,186 --> 00:18:26,436 Oh, prawn cocktail. Let's bust you out of there. 347 00:18:30,693 --> 00:18:32,073 Guys? 348 00:18:32,153 --> 00:18:34,113 GUS: What did you do? 349 00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:50,090 GUS: What is it with you and secret doors? 350 00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:06,021 GUS: Hey, since when did you lead the way? 351 00:19:06,104 --> 00:19:09,114 ELTON: Since I started getting chased by a lion. 352 00:19:09,190 --> 00:19:10,610 (distant snarl) 353 00:19:19,033 --> 00:19:20,543 - You okay? - Yeah. 354 00:19:27,125 --> 00:19:29,415 Oh, wow. 355 00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:32,087 Wow. 356 00:19:33,715 --> 00:19:37,085 (creature growling) 357 00:19:43,892 --> 00:19:45,892 (growling on speaker) 358 00:19:48,438 --> 00:19:50,058 (beeps) 359 00:19:51,441 --> 00:19:52,571 I knew it. 360 00:19:52,650 --> 00:19:54,990 - What? - There's no beast. 361 00:19:55,069 --> 00:19:56,989 So who's shit is this in my backpack? 362 00:19:57,071 --> 00:20:00,331 ASTRID: Lookie there. 363 00:20:00,408 --> 00:20:02,618 That's the cat from the photograph. 364 00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:04,872 Someone's playing a joke on us. 365 00:20:04,954 --> 00:20:09,254 Why go to all this trouble? What's the endgame? 366 00:20:13,671 --> 00:20:16,221 JoJo74, I presume. 367 00:20:16,299 --> 00:20:19,009 JOJO47: The Truth Seekers. 368 00:20:19,093 --> 00:20:21,513 I was rather hoping 369 00:20:21,596 --> 00:20:23,466 you'd be the ones to crack this case. 370 00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:25,636 Most people just turn tail and run. 371 00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:28,645 - Who are you? - I'm everyone that doesn't walk through this room 372 00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:31,358 with their eyes and ears closed. 373 00:20:31,439 --> 00:20:34,779 Nice library you have here. 374 00:20:34,859 --> 00:20:37,199 "Le San's Spirit Index" and... 375 00:20:37,278 --> 00:20:40,698 "Benson's Guide to Beyond." 376 00:20:40,782 --> 00:20:45,412 Ah! Of course, a bit of Dr. Peter Toynbee as well. 377 00:20:45,495 --> 00:20:46,615 That hack. 378 00:20:46,704 --> 00:20:49,674 I find it quite compelling. 379 00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:52,419 Gus, I've watched your videos. You're good, 380 00:20:52,502 --> 00:20:54,962 but you're just scratching the surface. 381 00:20:55,046 --> 00:20:56,416 There's a bigger world out there, 382 00:20:56,506 --> 00:20:58,926 more that can be found in a Toynbee. 383 00:20:59,008 --> 00:21:01,718 The Portland case was impressive, but did it occur to you 384 00:21:01,803 --> 00:21:03,473 your efforts there may have been counterproductive? 385 00:21:03,554 --> 00:21:05,684 Counterproductive? How? 386 00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:08,135 I find it ironic that you work for the very forces 387 00:21:08,226 --> 00:21:10,476 perpetuating our enslavement. 388 00:21:10,561 --> 00:21:13,361 - Smyle. - Smyle! 389 00:21:13,439 --> 00:21:16,189 That signal you so diligently distribute across the land 390 00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:17,935 now at nearly 100% coverage. 391 00:21:18,027 --> 00:21:21,947 Did you ever stop to think about its true purpose? 392 00:21:22,031 --> 00:21:25,411 A means to manipulate our brainwaves. 393 00:21:25,493 --> 00:21:27,163 Keep us pliable. 394 00:21:27,245 --> 00:21:29,535 Even the basic package? 395 00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:32,792 Well, how do you know I won't just expose you, you know? 396 00:21:32,875 --> 00:21:34,035 Tell the world about your hoax? 397 00:21:34,127 --> 00:21:37,757 You could, but you wouldn't. 398 00:21:37,839 --> 00:21:39,839 There's a storm coming. 399 00:21:39,924 --> 00:21:43,594 You have to open your eyes and see who the puppet masters are. 400 00:21:43,678 --> 00:21:45,758 You've seen the spike in paranormal events. 401 00:21:45,847 --> 00:21:47,427 It's happening all over. 402 00:21:47,515 --> 00:21:49,925 Someone is making it happen. 403 00:21:50,018 --> 00:21:51,728 Someone you may need to stand up to. 404 00:21:51,811 --> 00:21:54,691 Why should we trust you? 405 00:21:54,772 --> 00:21:57,532 Because I'm the same as you, a truth seeker. 406 00:21:59,444 --> 00:22:01,074 She got a shank! She got a shank! 407 00:22:01,154 --> 00:22:03,034 Please, stay in touch. 408 00:22:03,114 --> 00:22:04,374 I'll give you my number. 409 00:22:04,449 --> 00:22:06,279 (ringtone chimes) 410 00:22:06,367 --> 00:22:07,787 I thought you'd be well off the grid. 411 00:22:07,869 --> 00:22:10,119 It's a Nokia 7110. I may as well be. 412 00:22:13,875 --> 00:22:15,875 Please don't blow my cover. 413 00:22:17,086 --> 00:22:18,756 I may be hiding behind a lie, 414 00:22:18,838 --> 00:22:22,008 but the truth is all I have. 415 00:22:22,091 --> 00:22:24,971 - Okay. - You should go. 416 00:22:26,179 --> 00:22:27,389 Yeah, okay. 417 00:22:27,472 --> 00:22:30,142 Okay, good-bye. 418 00:22:30,224 --> 00:22:32,564 Don't forget your bag, mate. 419 00:22:32,643 --> 00:22:34,523 I was just gonna leave it here, to be honest. 420 00:22:34,604 --> 00:22:37,194 It's just a shit bag now anyway. 421 00:22:37,273 --> 00:22:40,233 - Bye. - Yes. Okay. 422 00:22:49,744 --> 00:22:51,914 - Take care. Bye. - Bye! 423 00:23:00,004 --> 00:23:01,344 (chuckles) 424 00:23:06,886 --> 00:23:08,756 What the heck? 425 00:23:13,434 --> 00:23:15,314 (device whirrs) 426 00:23:20,399 --> 00:23:21,569 That's weird. 427 00:23:25,071 --> 00:23:26,991 GUS (on speaker): Despite not seeing the beast, 428 00:23:27,073 --> 00:23:28,873 we definitely encountered something up on the moors, 429 00:23:28,950 --> 00:23:30,950 and experience none of us here at Truth Seekers 430 00:23:31,035 --> 00:23:32,535 will ever forget. 431 00:23:32,620 --> 00:23:34,660 But for now, though, this mystery remains 432 00:23:34,747 --> 00:23:37,247 unsolved. 433 00:23:39,210 --> 00:23:42,170 ♪♪