Oh. Sounds like the baby needs a diaper change.
Not it.
-Okay.
Whatever.
-Oh, good morning, sweetheart. -Hi.
Hmm.
-Hey, baby. -Hey.
I know I already said it, but… I really appreciate how understanding
you're being about us not being able to send you back.
It's not your fault you lost your job.
I feel awful. I've been dreading telling you for months.
You knew for months?
Uh…
I had a lot of leads. I really thought I'd get another job.
And you could have told me?
Maybe if you had…
then I could have figured it out with a scholarship or a grant.
I didn't wanna put that stress on you.
Great. Because finding out last minute that I am stuck in Freeridge
isn't stressful at all!
Monse, I--
Hello?
Yes, this is Monse.
What?
Why are we here?
If they offer water, do I take it? No, that's exactly what they want.
They fill you with liquids, and don't let you pee until you talk.
-Someone tell me what's going on? -The bones.
-Her bones. Found.
-When? -Months ago.
-What? -Shh.
Don't shush me. You've known for months?
I don't wanna talk. But I also don't want a bladder infection.
And what if I am thirsty?
Shit. I'm thirsty.
You guys, we need to be smart.
We need to think of a reason we were all in the forest that day.
I can't believe not one of you called me.
Oh, so now you want me to call you?
'Cause last thing I heard from you, you said I called you too much.
No, I didn't.
But you did.
Okay, I got it. I have an idea.
Bigfoot.
-Okay. -Was that a dig?
No. Bigfoot could work.
That is a terrible idea.
Fine. Then what?
I don't care, but whatever it is, we need to get on the same page.
-That's the only way out of here. -We've never been on the same page.
-We're not even in the same book. -We're never getting out of here.
Hey… I need you to calm down for me, okay?
-You're driving me crazy. -Because I'm going crazy!
They're gonna call us back into that room any second now.
Oh my God.
-Why are you being like this? -Like what? Like an immature child?
Hmm. Your words, not mine.
Ha!
Jamal, you are a child, and so am I.
We're not 18. They can't force us to stay. We should go.
If you leave now, your parents will find out.
And you'll just end up back here again, under even more suspicion.
Oh my God.
I've made terrible decisions.
We don't know what they know.
Could be nothing. Let's not get overdramatic.
Says the queen of all drama queens.
Jamal, I am so done with your BS,
so you can either tell me what's going on or shut the hell up!
Oh, I will,
but this is neither the time nor the place to air your dirty derriere mishap.
-Now you're just talking out your ass! -No, you were on that butt-dial.
I heard you ripping me apart in front of all your friends.
-What? -Monse Finnie?
Follow me.
We got a tip on an open investigation.
An Uber driver said you and your three friends
were dropped off at the Angeles Crest Forest in July 2018--
Bigfoot.
Excuse me?
We were searching for Bigfoot.
And through sightings and various Reddit forums,
we were able to track…
…Bigfoot to the Angeles Crest area.
Typically, they're not seen this far south,
but with climate change,
their migration patterns have recently shifted.
You see… they migrate for mating season, not for winter.
Bigfoot has a thick double coat,
similar to huskies, but with hair, not fur.
So they thrive in…
…cooler climates.
Canada, Oregon, Washington, Northern California,
and some Himalayan regions, but in the Himalayas,
he's referred to as the Abominable Snowman,
but not the yeti.
Although commonly associated,
the yeti is a completely different species.
Bigfeet are known for their foul smell and their…
That was an example of a typical Bigfoot salutation.
A, "Hi. How are you?"
Now I'll demonstrate their mating call, which is quite a few octaves higher.
-No! -Ah--
Thanks so much for coming in. I think we have everything we need.
You know, a thank you would be nice.
Thanks, Cesar.
Yeah, sorry I said Bigfoot was a terrible idea.
I wasn't talking about Cesar. I was talking about me.
You wouldn't know anything about Bigfoot if it weren't for me.
Okay, but it was Cesar's idea.
You wouldn't give me credit. You hate me.
What? Hold on.
I'm the one that called and texted you, and you never got back to me.
You blew me off.
-You really don't remember what you said. -No idea.
Okay, let me re-trigger myself so I can give you a little refresher.
Okay.
I left you a message.
You called me back, only you didn't. It was your butt.
I heard everything you said about me to your friend Sherry.
You said that you feel bad for me,
that I'm stuck in a total arrested development,
that I'm like a weird eight-year-old.
-Hmm, that's harsh. -Sherry?
-What? I really don't remember… -Mm-hmm.
Wait.
No, Sherry? Tsk, we weren't talking about you.
That was, like, two years ago. How do you remember?
Because Sherry and I weren't friends. We were lab partners.
We never talked about anything personal. I must have been talking about my teacher
because he was like a total weird eight-year-old.
Nice try.
It wasn't about you, and I didn't think those things.
I don't care what you think…
and you're not gonna get back in my good graces
just 'cause your ass is stuck back in Freeridge.
Your parents told you?
Welcome home, sweetheart.
Jamal, ease up. It's been two years. It's water under the bridge.
Oh, oh, like the water under the bridge that washed or stole our money?
You know I'm gonna make this right…
and when I do, we never have to talk again.
-Hmm. -Why should we wait?
Let's just start now.
So great catching up with everyone.
Hey.
I'm out. Where are you?
That was fast. How'd it go?
They just had a few questions for us.
Us?
Yeah, me and a couple of the guys.
Hey, I gotta go.
I'm catching a ride.
Total bullshit!
Can you believe Monse lying about her chemistry teacher?
-Trying to make me feel like I'm crazy. -She's so frustrating!
I know!
Jasmine ordered ribs from Tony Roma's with jalapeno slather sauce,
and she knows I love ribs.
But then she ordered fresh spring laundry detergent,
and she knows my skin is way too sensitive for scented washes.
You hacked her Amazon?
No… we share an account.
And a Netflix and a Pinterest.
Why are you looking at her orders?
I'm just trying to figure out what it means.
Okay… nobody would ever try to send subliminal messages through grocery lists.
Can we get off Jasmine and back onto Monse?
-She switched tampon brands!
Do you think it's because I used to order them for her?
Abuelita!
-How are you?
Wait. Uh, Ruby needs some advice about Jasmine.
Don't you think instead of trying to figure it all out on his own,
he should just ask her?
I mean, I think Ruby deserves to know the truth, don't you?
Well, the truth could hurt him.
Ha ha! Wouldn't it hurt him more not to know?
What if he found out from someone else?
Someone else would have to be stupid to tell him.
-Well, I think-- -Ruby, stay out of this.
No, you stay out of it, Jamal.
If she wanted to tell him, she would.
Ruby, Jasmine will tell you when she's ready.
Hmm?
And she's not ready.
No offense, dude. I appreciate you trying to help,
but I think you were too pushy with Abuelita.
She's got a good point.
It's better to let Jasmine come on her own.
For now, it'll just be me and you doing what compas do.
I know! I'll make us a Pinterest.
Um… Uh… It's Christmas Eve!
I totally forgot.
The Joint always does a Christmas Eve special.
I promised my dad I would help out.
Okay, bye.
The body's been ID'd.
They know it's Cuchillos.
Shit's about to get real rough out here.
For me?
Or for you?
-You're the one who worked for her. -Technically, we both did.
Look… I'm not here to argue with you.
I'm… I'm trying to look out for you.
You haven't looked out for me in years.
I'm good.
You don't get it.
Cuchillos was the umbrella protecting you Santos from getting wet.
And with her gone, it's going to storm like never before…
…especially with the Prophet$ trickling out of jail.
Hey, I'm not worried.
They know their place.
You need to watch your back.
Merry Christmas, Officer Hammel.
Hey.
-How'd it go? -As expected.
He's got blinders on.
Shit.
Thanks for trying.
No one could ever say you didn't fight for your brother.
So, what? I should just cut my losses?
This shit's on me. If Cesar hadn't grown up this way--
But he did.
And do you know what he had growing up that you didn't?
You. You raised a smart kid.
But have faith that he's smart enough to figure it out on his own.
There's nothing else you can do.
Unless you wanna try again. We still have a few weeks.
No.
No, we don't. We're getting out of here now.
What? Why?
Let's just rip off the Band-Aid and go.
Are you sure?
It's time to move on.
Mine looks the best,
but I bet yours will look better than mine.
Uh-uh-uh. Everybody is talented here in this household.
-Everyone is. -But look at mine.
-It's beautiful. -"I'm sorry"?
What are you sorry for?
Oh, um…
Nothing.
Then why are you texting "sorry"?
Hmm? Well… because if I don't, then that just makes my life a lot harder.
-Why? -Okay, less questions, more sprinkles.
Take a break.
Do what you gotta do.
Okay. Yeah, I will be right back.
Okay.
I'll start with the eyes.
Eyes, very nice. They're able to see under their hat.
Can we put dresses on the gingerbread…
In the spirit of Christmas.
Of course. I'm not gonna forget.
-What color should we make the dress?
Yo, leave me a message, and I might hit you back.
-Who dis? -You blocked me?
Monse?
Yes, it's Monse, dickhole. I can't believe you blocked me.
What? Pfft. I didn't block you.
Oh really? Because I tried calling you,
like, ten times from my cell, and every time it went to voice mail.
Then I call from a different number and, "Who dis?"
Well, maybe I was just ignoring you. Ever think about that?
Oh… Jamal, give it up. I was not talking about you on that call.
Oh, I wasn't born yesterday.
And even if I was, I'd still be like goo-goo ga-ga…
Bullshit!
I can't believe you never gave me the chance to explain.
You were so quick to cancel me.
Know how many times I tried to call or text you?
No idea. You've been blocked for a long time.
Oh, okay.
So you'd rather let our friendship die than have one uncomfortable conversation?
Wow. Well, it's great to know how much our friendship meant to you.
Bye, Jamal.
Do toeless sneakers mean anything to you?
Uh… no, and also,
hello, which is how people usually start a call.
Oh. Hey, Jamal.
She knows I love her toes. There's no other way to interpret that.
You sure?
She could just be fashion inept, which she is.
I thought you were gonna wait until she tells you what's up.
You should see what's on her wish list.
She's writing me a love sonnet,
but instead of words, she's using miscellaneous household items.
And the fact that it's on her wish list? I mean… come on.
Uh… Okay. Uh… focus on me now.
Monse just called, and she actually seemed upset.
Like not mad…
but like she has feelings, and I hurt them.
Feelings?
-That's weird. -I know.
Think I should cave?
I think it deserves a conversation.
I'll… I'll come to Dwayne's to deliberate and further dissect Jasmine's wish list.
No! Uh…
Uh… The Joint's at capacity. Gotta go.
Bye.
-This better be good. -From Mr. Martinez, with love.
Mmm, they're beautiful, but these aren't from Ruby.
-Yes, they are. -He would never buy flowers in full bloom.
They last two days max. He'd be throwing his money away.
What about this super sweet note he wrote you?
Aw!
Ruby didn't write this. He'd never end a sentence with a preposition.
Okay, fine! I bought the flowers and wrote the card,
but only because Ruby is too…
lovesick to get out of bed,
too pained to pick up a pen, let alone a phone to call you.
-Really? -Yes!
Every waking moment, he's thinking about you.
At night, he even dreams about you.
I know because I've heard him call your name in his sleep.
Why are you sleeping with him?
Because… Ruby can't sleep by himself anymore.
I'm telling you. Ruby is truly, madly, deeply lovesick.
I hate seeing him like this. It's driving me crazy.
A-ha! And there it is. He's driving you crazy.
The first honest thing you've said so far, and that is why you're here.
To… foist him on me!
Foist? Me?
A foister?
How dare you.
Jamal, I don't have time for this. I'm decorating.
So if you don't mind,
my nativity scene isn't gonna immaculately conceive itself.
Okay, fine! I'm foisting! Please take him back!
I'll do anything.
Ruby, that's no way to stalk an ex.
I'm not stalking. I'm making sure her credentials are updated.
Colleges look at this stuff.
Did she ask you to do this?
She didn't… not ask me to do it.
Stop being a weirdo. What are you wearing to Midnight Mass?
-I don't know. This? -No.
You need to wear a suit.
-Why?
Because I want you to look nice for our Christmas family photo.
We never take a Christmas family photo, and I never wear a suit. Why this year?
Stop with the questions.
This year's…
different.
The kids wrote up an entire list of things they wanna do with you while you're here.
Okay. Wow.
Let's see.
Oh boy. Christmas caroling.
Okay. Build a gingerbread village, visit the North Pole.
Very ambitious.
It is, but… maybe not if I stayed for a couple more days?
-Really? They'd love that!
-Do you need to call your dad and check? -Oh, no.
No, it's cool. Trust me.
Everything okay?
No.
My dad can't send me back to Mayfield.
Monse, I'm so sorry.
It's okay. I don't wanna think about it. I don't wanna spoil Christmas.
Make your way to your seats.
The Nutcracker is about to begin.
-The Nutcracker? -The Nutcracker?
-Come on! -Okay.
-Maybe they need to thaw first? -Where did you get these branches?
-I cut 'em off my neighbor's bushes. -What? Don't you have real decorations?
Usually, we go all out.
The decorations are my favorite part of Christmas… along with the other parts.
My favorite part of Christmas is how it's a season of hope… and love…
and second chances.
Jamal, I have given Ruby plenty of second chances.
-Aren't you the one who cried third wheel? -Okay, I don't need a wheel this time.
I'll just jog alongside your tandem bike.
Come on. You guys were great together.
Christmas already has me in my feels. I really don't need the Ruby rehash.
And I don't need Ruby on repeat all day, every day.
He's obsessed. "I miss Jasmine. Do you think she misses me?"
"Oh, I should call her. Oh, do you think she would answer?"
"Jamal, look at her Amazon!"
"Jamal, she bought ribs!"
"What does it mean? She switched her tampon brand. Why?"
I didn't want anything inside of me that reminded me of him.
Ew!
Ugh. No more Ruby! Now be Monse!
"Let's make a plan non-plan to meet up
because I don't need a man to tell me what to do or not do,
or definitely don't tell me what I should or should not know
because you know I know."
"Suck a butt! And I'm a total asshole to my friends."
-That was pretty good. -Except that last part.
She's not that self-aware. She would never admit when she's wrong.
No, she's pretty good at apologizing. She just did to me last night.
Really?
Yeah… you should give her more credit.
Monse's the one who helped me realize
that I need to focus on myself and not get back with Ruby.
What does she know? Don't listen to her.
Who am I supposed to listen to? You?
It's pretty obvious that you just want us back together to share the Ruby load.
Ew.
But also… yes, that may be true, but it doesn't mean that I'm not right.
If you're not gonna listen to me,
listen to Love Actually, the holiday classic.
-Mmm. Never seen it. -Me either. It doesn't matter.
Take literally any romantic comedy ever.
After the couple falls in love,
they always break up… and you wanna know why?
To get back together.
Only this time, they appreciate each other because they broke up.
Because the loss made them realize what they had.
Maybe you and Monse needed to break up to appreciate each other's friendship?
Hmm? Huh?
She has tried to reach out a lot, which shows that she cares.
Hmm.
-Maybe I should give her a second chance. -I should give Ruby one. It's Christmas.
And I do miss that little Bigfoot.
When do you think Jasmine will be ready to talk?
Ugh, mijo.
I know, I'm sorry, but it's all I can think about.
Well…
if you want to keep your mind off Jasmine,
you have to keep your hands busy…
with a needle and thread.
I'm going to teach you how to sew. Sit.
Uh… I appreciate the offer, but I'm good.
Ruby.
You need to learn how to do things for yourself.
But… I have you.
You can't always rely on other people.
Oh, slow down.
And pay attention.
And when you make a mistake, which you will… don't get discouraged.
There will be times…
you want to…
give up…
or think things are so bad they can't be fixed…
but I promise you…
with enough determination and patience,
anything can be mended.
I know what you're doing.
This isn't a sewing lesson. It's a life one.
You want me to fix things with Jasmine.
The news of Cuchillos' death will hit the streets soon,
and we need to--
When was she killed?
We need to find 'em and take 'em out.
Who, Joker?
We don't know anything.
We were completely blindsided.
Right now isn't the time.
We need to focus on watching each other's backs
and making sure that the streets know that we're solid as ever
'cause with or without Cuchillos, we're still los Santos.
Hmm.
No, no, no, no, no.
-Put some respect on Mary's name. -What?
Where'd the sheep go?
Was it made out of popcorn?
Yeah.
I ate it.
There was some serious glue in that sheep ball.
Oh.
Which will only make for a better poop, white-eared Jamal.
You know, I'm kind of starting to get why Ruby likes you.
Aw, and I get why Monse was talking shit about you.
Hey! I was being nice.
Yeah. And an insult in a dress is still an insult.
Sorry. I have backhanded-compliment blindness.
It's not a thing, but it's real, like my affliction for Monse.
Wait. I thought you were ready to forgive her.
Yeah, I've reconsidered.
I'm not.
I mean, that butt-dial changed my entire life.
And that's a bad thing?
No, it's a good thing. I'm living my best life.
-Hmm. Because of Monse. -No!
Yes, she did put me on the trajectory, but… I'm the one who did the work.
I've had the same friends for forever.
They weren't holding me back, but…
because they were always around, I--
I was always in my comfort zone. I never got to branch out on my own.
When I did, I discovered new interests…
different parts of my personality.
If I hadn't canceled Monse, I wouldn't have…
I wouldn't have evolved.
Yeah, and you can't evolve without conflict.
I can't get back together with Ruby.
You can't.
Plus, maybe some alone time will be good for him.
Yeah.
That's it. It's done.
Wait!
Okay, now.
-Ooh.
-Yeah! -It's got personality.
And not a good one.
But I love it!
So when does your family get back from Mexico?
Uh, I'm here by myself for a week.
What? No.
You're coming with me. Can't let a friend spend Christmas alone.
Seriously?
I mean… we're friends now.
Ruby can never know.
They're terrible.
This is my most expensive suit.
Geny is going to be so pissed!
Look!
Hey.
I've been thinking, and I want to pay for you to go back to Mayfield.
No. No, I can't let you do that.
No, you can, and you should.
That's what your mum would want for you. It's what I want for you.
Really? Are you sure?
Nothing would make me happier.
Oh my gosh!
Thank you.
Okay… I'm off to bed.
-Okay. Good night. -Good night.
Yes! .
-Merry Christmas.