1
00:00:00,086 --> 00:00:01,853
I hope this is enough socks.
2
00:00:01,922 --> 00:00:04,625
I can't stand the idea of you
at camp without enough socks.
3
00:00:04,703 --> 00:00:06,093
You'll call me if you run out of socks?
4
00:00:06,172 --> 00:00:07,656
Don't worry. I'll be fine.
5
00:00:07,723 --> 00:00:11,673
Second years basically live in
their space suits or jazz shoes.
6
00:00:11,743 --> 00:00:12,927
All right, I know I said
I wouldn't freak out
7
00:00:12,995 --> 00:00:14,595
about you going to
Lance Bass Space Camp this year,
8
00:00:14,673 --> 00:00:16,571
but I did make you this.
9
00:00:16,666 --> 00:00:18,552
It's a slideshow.
I'm making them for everyone.
10
00:00:18,553 --> 00:00:19,616
I have a talent.
11
00:00:19,641 --> 00:00:21,188
So this summer,
it's gonna be slideshows, huh?
12
00:00:21,213 --> 00:00:22,227
What's my secret?
13
00:00:22,274 --> 00:00:24,195
Some say order of photos,
some say it's the music,
14
00:00:24,281 --> 00:00:26,471
but I think it's a marriage
between the two.
15
00:00:26,533 --> 00:00:28,352
Plus, my transitions are fly as hell.
16
00:00:28,431 --> 00:00:31,499
Speaking of transitions,
I'm gonna get more socks.
17
00:00:31,568 --> 00:00:34,902
Wi... Wi... Wi... Wi...
18
00:00:34,971 --> 00:00:37,071
- Will.
- Miggy, what happened?
19
00:00:37,140 --> 00:00:38,506
Did my neighbor's dachshund
frighten you again?
20
00:00:38,608 --> 00:00:40,675
That's an element of it,
but not the whole story.
21
00:00:40,743 --> 00:00:43,344
Poppy just told me Angie might
live with Derek for the summer
22
00:00:43,413 --> 00:00:44,612
and I ran all the way here!
23
00:00:44,681 --> 00:00:45,713
What the hell happened?
24
00:00:45,782 --> 00:00:46,791
I thought you were gonna make a move!
25
00:00:46,816 --> 00:00:47,859
I didn't do it, okay?
26
00:00:47,884 --> 00:00:48,950
I drove over there,
27
00:00:49,018 --> 00:00:50,084
but then she hit me with
the whole Derek thing.
28
00:00:50,153 --> 00:00:52,620
So I drove to the beach,
I talked to a seagull,
29
00:00:52,655 --> 00:00:53,988
and then I got bullied
by a bunch of teens
30
00:00:54,024 --> 00:00:55,100
starting a bonfire.
31
00:00:55,125 --> 00:00:56,457
They were really mean about my beard.
32
00:00:56,526 --> 00:00:58,126
They called me "Father Time."
33
00:00:58,194 --> 00:01:00,895
Oh, that's a good burn, 'cause
it's also about your age.
34
00:01:00,964 --> 00:01:02,130
Anyway, I took the Derek thing as a sign
35
00:01:02,198 --> 00:01:03,631
that it wasn't the right moment
to talk to her.
36
00:01:03,700 --> 00:01:05,057
- You believe in signs?
- Are you kidding?
37
00:01:05,081 --> 00:01:06,041
I'm, like, Mister Signs.
38
00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:08,503
So there's nothing you want to
tell her before she goes?
39
00:01:08,557 --> 00:01:09,670
She's not going!
40
00:01:09,697 --> 00:01:10,845
She has to stay here with Graham.
41
00:01:10,869 --> 00:01:12,206
Poor kid's not going to Space Camp
42
00:01:12,275 --> 00:01:14,976
'cause Angie didn't sign up...
♪ By, by, by March first! ♪
43
00:01:15,078 --> 00:01:18,446
So it's... ♪ Bye, bye, Space Camp ♪
44
00:01:18,548 --> 00:01:20,014
And... ♪ Hello ♪
45
00:01:20,083 --> 00:01:24,118
Summer hanging with Mr....
♪ Coo-oo-oo-oo-per ♪
46
00:01:24,220 --> 00:01:25,153
I'm Mr. Cooper.
47
00:01:25,255 --> 00:01:26,487
That's the final straw.
48
00:01:26,589 --> 00:01:27,816
We have to start a band!
49
00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:29,673
Oh, man, we're going to.
50
00:01:29,759 --> 00:01:31,125
The point is, I'm not worried.
51
00:01:31,227 --> 00:01:33,594
Wi...
52
00:01:33,696 --> 00:01:36,964
Wi... Wi... Wi...
53
00:01:37,033 --> 00:01:38,833
Will!
54
00:01:38,902 --> 00:01:40,601
Angie, did you run here, too?
55
00:01:40,670 --> 00:01:42,737
Yeah, I was behind Miggy.
I saw him and got competitive.
56
00:01:42,805 --> 00:01:45,239
Not competitive enough.
I've been here for an hour.
57
00:01:45,341 --> 00:01:47,742
- You've been here for, like, a minute.
- Uh, great news!
58
00:01:47,810 --> 00:01:49,710
Graham got off the wait list
to space camp!
59
00:01:49,812 --> 00:01:51,846
Now he's gonna be gone the whole summer.
60
00:01:51,915 --> 00:01:54,182
So, uh, does that mean that
I should go live with Derek?
61
00:01:54,250 --> 00:01:55,816
I... It seems like a sign.
62
00:01:55,885 --> 00:01:57,585
Ahh, signs.
63
00:01:57,687 --> 00:01:59,253
I don't really believe in those.
64
00:01:59,322 --> 00:02:00,855
Really? You just told me
you were Mister S...
65
00:02:00,957 --> 00:02:02,323
Shut up.
66
00:02:02,392 --> 00:02:03,791
- Mister Si...
- Shut up.
67
00:02:03,860 --> 00:02:05,893
- Mister...
- Yeah, you don't want it.
68
00:02:05,950 --> 00:02:07,628
- No, he... No, what are you doing?
- No, sorry, she was saying.
69
00:02:07,676 --> 00:02:08,863
That's so weird. You just...
70
00:02:09,999 --> 00:02:11,966
- But you...
- It's all right. Finish.
71
00:02:12,035 --> 00:02:13,668
- You just said you were Mister S...
- Shut up!
72
00:02:13,770 --> 00:02:16,804
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
73
00:02:20,510 --> 00:02:22,343
Ah, ah, ah! Hold up.
74
00:02:22,445 --> 00:02:23,644
I knock now.
75
00:02:23,746 --> 00:02:25,479
Like some common trick-or-treater?
76
00:02:25,582 --> 00:02:28,182
No, like a woman who's dropping
off her kid for a playdate
77
00:02:28,284 --> 00:02:30,418
at the home of a man
she's no longer dating.
78
00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:32,587
I realize that made it sound
like the playdate's with the man
79
00:02:32,689 --> 00:02:33,988
and not his kids, but you get it.
80
00:02:34,090 --> 00:02:36,490
What I get is that ever since
you and Douglas broke up,
81
00:02:36,593 --> 00:02:37,725
you treat each other like
82
00:02:37,827 --> 00:02:39,694
two co-workers talking in an elevator.
83
00:02:39,796 --> 00:02:41,062
"Nice weekend, Douglas?"
84
00:02:41,164 --> 00:02:42,997
"Oh, yes, thank you. And yours?"
85
00:02:43,099 --> 00:02:45,633
"Yes, lovely.
Sure went by fast, though."
86
00:02:45,735 --> 00:02:47,301
"Don't they always?" "Ha ha ha."
87
00:02:47,403 --> 00:02:49,503
"Ha ha ha." Blechhh, splat, snore!
88
00:02:49,606 --> 00:02:53,407
That was me barfing and then
falling asleep in my own barf.
89
00:02:53,509 --> 00:02:56,110
Because first it's gross,
and then it's boring.
90
00:02:56,212 --> 00:02:58,145
Look, I know it's not the saucy
back and forth
91
00:02:58,248 --> 00:03:00,081
of romance-era Poppy-Douglas
92
00:03:00,183 --> 00:03:02,516
or the crackle of pre-romance,
93
00:03:02,619 --> 00:03:04,151
peak-friendship Poppy-Douglas,
94
00:03:04,254 --> 00:03:06,887
but now with this many feelings
involved, just...
95
00:03:06,990 --> 00:03:08,556
Polite is where you want to be.
96
00:03:08,658 --> 00:03:10,324
Can you at least do a fun knock?
97
00:03:10,426 --> 00:03:13,160
Absolutely not.
98
00:03:16,633 --> 00:03:18,199
Poppy.
99
00:03:19,636 --> 00:03:21,502
Looking well.
100
00:03:21,604 --> 00:03:23,371
As are you.
101
00:03:23,473 --> 00:03:25,139
As are you.
102
00:03:25,241 --> 00:03:27,508
Gas prices are crazy, huh?
103
00:03:27,610 --> 00:03:29,210
Crazy.
104
00:03:29,312 --> 00:03:31,412
Just crazy.
105
00:03:33,516 --> 00:03:35,583
You know,
there's a squirrel in your yard.
106
00:03:35,685 --> 00:03:38,552
Yeah. He's hanging out.
107
00:03:38,655 --> 00:03:41,589
Oh. Squirrels.
108
00:03:42,859 --> 00:03:44,125
Storing up.
109
00:03:44,227 --> 00:03:45,426
Winter.
110
00:03:45,495 --> 00:03:47,194
We have to do something.
111
00:03:47,297 --> 00:03:49,597
My mom and your dad, they've become...
112
00:03:49,699 --> 00:03:50,765
they've become...
113
00:03:50,867 --> 00:03:52,900
Damn it, girls,
they've become un-watchable!
114
00:03:53,002 --> 00:03:53,968
I know!
115
00:03:54,070 --> 00:03:55,536
If I hear either of them say,
116
00:03:55,605 --> 00:03:57,004
"How's business going?" again,
117
00:03:57,073 --> 00:03:58,105
I'll climb in the oven.
118
00:03:58,174 --> 00:03:59,640
There's only one way to get them to act
119
00:03:59,709 --> 00:04:01,742
like their fiery selves again
and get them back together.
120
00:04:01,844 --> 00:04:03,311
Don't say we "Parent Trap" them.
121
00:04:03,379 --> 00:04:05,713
As twins, we have
very complicated feelings
122
00:04:05,782 --> 00:04:08,149
about that film
and the way it portrays us.
123
00:04:08,251 --> 00:04:09,817
And our powers.
124
00:04:09,886 --> 00:04:11,252
"Parent Trap" them?
125
00:04:11,321 --> 00:04:14,055
Who am I, First Thought Johnny
and the Uptown Cornballs? No!
126
00:04:14,157 --> 00:04:15,990
We do something no one
has ever thought of doing
127
00:04:16,092 --> 00:04:17,391
to get an ex fired up.
128
00:04:17,493 --> 00:04:18,759
We get them...
129
00:04:18,861 --> 00:04:21,195
to make each other...
130
00:04:21,264 --> 00:04:22,263
jealous.
131
00:04:23,866 --> 00:04:25,348
Does your dad have an Instagram account?
132
00:04:29,672 --> 00:04:31,372
No, but seriously, though,
we have to make one for him.
133
00:04:31,441 --> 00:04:33,341
Welcome!
134
00:04:33,443 --> 00:04:35,910
Look to the person on your left.
135
00:04:36,012 --> 00:04:38,346
Now look to the person on your right.
136
00:04:38,414 --> 00:04:40,715
Wow, Lance has really
toughened up this year.
137
00:04:40,817 --> 00:04:41,982
At the end of the summer,
138
00:04:42,051 --> 00:04:44,819
all of you will still be here
139
00:04:44,921 --> 00:04:45,886
because your parents paid.
140
00:04:45,988 --> 00:04:47,788
But you will be different.
141
00:04:47,857 --> 00:04:51,859
You will be astronauts
with all-star vibrato.
142
00:04:51,961 --> 00:04:53,761
Now, all together.
143
00:04:53,863 --> 00:04:56,597
♪ Mommy, may I please go to the moon? ♪
144
00:04:56,666 --> 00:04:59,667
♪ Mommy, may I please go to the moon? ♪
145
00:04:59,736 --> 00:05:01,502
That was all wrong, but we'll find it.
146
00:05:01,604 --> 00:05:03,037
- Get on the bus.
- I'm friends with him.
147
00:05:03,139 --> 00:05:04,205
I know, Will.
148
00:05:04,307 --> 00:05:05,239
We all know.
149
00:05:05,341 --> 00:05:09,510
So, where are we on the big Barstow Q?
150
00:05:09,579 --> 00:05:12,513
The Big B. Q? BBQ?
151
00:05:12,582 --> 00:05:13,547
I'm torn still.
152
00:05:13,616 --> 00:05:14,949
I mean, I'm kid-free for the summer,
153
00:05:15,017 --> 00:05:16,083
so that really frees me up,
154
00:05:16,152 --> 00:05:18,085
but there's still
things keeping me here.
155
00:05:18,187 --> 00:05:19,387
I mean, that's true.
156
00:05:19,489 --> 00:05:21,455
What, are you just gonna bail
on your Y membership?
157
00:05:21,524 --> 00:05:23,320
Who's gonna scatter 5-pound
weights across the floor?
158
00:05:23,345 --> 00:05:24,367
Plus, there's my job
159
00:05:24,391 --> 00:05:25,546
where I'm clearly very important.
160
00:05:25,571 --> 00:05:27,474
They won't stop calling me. Ignore.
161
00:05:27,515 --> 00:05:29,964
So, seems like you got it figured out.
162
00:05:30,032 --> 00:05:31,298
No Barstow.
163
00:05:31,401 --> 00:05:33,567
You want to go to a candy store,
get some weird Japanese stuff?
164
00:05:33,636 --> 00:05:34,835
But I was kind of looking forward
165
00:05:34,904 --> 00:05:36,270
to spending the summer with Derek.
166
00:05:36,339 --> 00:05:38,401
I mean, I know it's not how
your typical love story goes...
167
00:05:38,456 --> 00:05:40,808
meet, do it, baby,
nine years of silence,
168
00:05:40,877 --> 00:05:42,076
then move in together.
169
00:05:42,178 --> 00:05:44,145
Yeah, when you put it that way,
it sounds pretty terrible.
170
00:05:44,213 --> 00:05:45,579
So, Japanese candy time?
171
00:05:45,681 --> 00:05:47,481
But then again,
maybe this is the universe
172
00:05:47,550 --> 00:05:48,783
giving us one last chance
173
00:05:48,885 --> 00:05:50,284
to figure out if we can be a family.
174
00:05:50,353 --> 00:05:52,358
Ugh! It's my boss again.
175
00:05:52,397 --> 00:05:54,088
God, you take one six-hour lunch break
176
00:05:54,190 --> 00:05:55,222
and the whole place falls apart!
177
00:05:55,324 --> 00:05:56,824
What?!
178
00:05:56,926 --> 00:05:58,292
Hey, Graham.
179
00:05:58,361 --> 00:06:00,261
Did you just get off the bus
and no one stopped you?
180
00:06:00,363 --> 00:06:03,230
- That worries me.
- I-I forgot to ask.
181
00:06:03,299 --> 00:06:04,865
Would you take care of my mom
this summer?
182
00:06:04,934 --> 00:06:07,001
You know, make sure she eats,
opens her mail,
183
00:06:07,069 --> 00:06:09,703
- doesn't burn down the house again.
- I'm on it, little G.
184
00:06:09,772 --> 00:06:11,772
This is the summer
I throw out that printer.
185
00:06:11,874 --> 00:06:12,973
Oh, actually, I'm glad you're here
186
00:06:13,075 --> 00:06:14,708
because... made you a slideshow.
187
00:06:14,777 --> 00:06:16,110
Yussss!
188
00:06:16,212 --> 00:06:17,945
Please let it be set to Green Day.
189
00:06:18,014 --> 00:06:20,080
Well, let's just say you'll have the...
190
00:06:20,149 --> 00:06:21,816
time of your life.
191
00:06:21,918 --> 00:06:23,317
God, you're good.
192
00:06:23,386 --> 00:06:25,219
D'Amato, on the bus!
193
00:06:25,288 --> 00:06:26,754
I need you seated with the baritones!
194
00:06:26,823 --> 00:06:28,322
- Bye, buddy.
- Bye-bye. Gotta go.
195
00:06:28,391 --> 00:06:30,391
All right, time for the candy store?
196
00:06:30,493 --> 00:06:32,159
I just got fired.
197
00:06:32,261 --> 00:06:34,662
Oh, my God. Are you okay?
198
00:06:34,764 --> 00:06:36,764
Yeah. Actually, I am.
199
00:06:36,866 --> 00:06:38,199
I mean, I was looking for signs,
200
00:06:38,301 --> 00:06:40,868
and, well, this seems like a big one.
201
00:06:40,970 --> 00:06:42,770
I think...
202
00:06:42,839 --> 00:06:44,605
I'm gonna spend the summer with Derek.
203
00:06:48,578 --> 00:06:50,211
All right, almost done with creating
204
00:06:50,279 --> 00:06:54,148
my Instagram masterpiece,
@TheRealDoctorDouglasFogerty.
205
00:06:54,217 --> 00:06:56,717
Now all we need is some pics of
Douglas living his best life.
206
00:06:56,786 --> 00:06:59,987
Any chance you have any shots
of your dad in a soapy tub?
207
00:07:00,056 --> 00:07:01,088
Get with it.
208
00:07:01,157 --> 00:07:02,923
Dad hasn't had pics taken of him
in a decade.
209
00:07:02,992 --> 00:07:04,992
Okay, guess we'll
just have to build this baby
210
00:07:05,094 --> 00:07:06,160
from the ground up.
211
00:07:06,229 --> 00:07:07,828
Amy, roust him, please.
212
00:07:07,930 --> 00:07:08,963
Dad!
213
00:07:10,566 --> 00:07:11,532
Dad?
214
00:07:11,634 --> 00:07:12,566
Dad!!
215
00:07:12,668 --> 00:07:13,601
What?!
216
00:07:13,669 --> 00:07:15,102
Can you tell me about the time
217
00:07:15,171 --> 00:07:16,937
that you met Don Rickles
at the Pavillions?
218
00:07:17,039 --> 00:07:19,540
What an entertainer.
219
00:07:19,609 --> 00:07:21,008
This is gold. Start snapping.
220
00:07:21,077 --> 00:07:24,111
He insulted my pants,
and I loved him for it.
221
00:07:24,180 --> 00:07:25,246
You know what he said to me?
222
00:07:25,314 --> 00:07:26,647
"Let's put an elevator in your butt
223
00:07:26,716 --> 00:07:27,850
and make you a building."
224
00:07:30,887 --> 00:07:32,520
Huh! Would you look at that.
225
00:07:32,622 --> 00:07:33,888
Douglas is on Instagram.
226
00:07:33,990 --> 00:07:36,190
What? Let me see that.
227
00:07:38,361 --> 00:07:39,527
Uh-huh.
228
00:07:39,629 --> 00:07:40,961
Mm-hmm.
229
00:07:41,063 --> 00:07:42,096
Okay.
230
00:07:42,198 --> 00:07:43,464
Every time I wanted to go dancing,
231
00:07:43,566 --> 00:07:44,598
he was all "My knees hurt."
232
00:07:44,700 --> 00:07:45,699
Well, good for him!
233
00:07:45,801 --> 00:07:47,234
- Our fish is nibbling.
- Hm!
234
00:07:47,336 --> 00:07:48,269
Time to reel her in.
235
00:07:50,673 --> 00:07:53,908
Search for "woman," "stock
photo," "hubba hubba," "rich."
236
00:07:54,010 --> 00:07:55,809
Okay.
237
00:07:55,912 --> 00:07:57,745
Meet Douglas' newest lady friend,
238
00:07:57,847 --> 00:07:59,446
@BethanyGummiBear.
239
00:07:59,549 --> 00:08:03,117
Bad attitude, worse bangs,
but one hell of a good time.
240
00:08:03,219 --> 00:08:05,019
Amy, get ready to caption.
241
00:08:06,422 --> 00:08:09,623
"Celebrating three days
with this dork," period.
242
00:08:09,725 --> 00:08:12,459
"Am I dreaming," question mark.
243
00:08:12,562 --> 00:08:13,994
Smiley face emoji...
244
00:08:14,096 --> 00:08:15,563
devil horns emoji...
245
00:08:15,665 --> 00:08:16,764
salsa dancer...
246
00:08:16,866 --> 00:08:19,400
and post!
247
00:08:19,502 --> 00:08:22,484
Who the hell is Bethany Gummi Bear?!
248
00:08:23,784 --> 00:08:24,808
Mig...
249
00:08:24,833 --> 00:08:25,816
Mi... Mi...
250
00:08:28,377 --> 00:08:30,578
Miggy! Something happened.
251
00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:32,780
I know! Today's the day
we all started running!
252
00:08:32,882 --> 00:08:34,481
Must be that runnin' moon.
253
00:08:34,584 --> 00:08:36,350
Angie has decided to move
to Barstow with Derek.
254
00:08:36,452 --> 00:08:37,484
We have to stop her!
255
00:08:37,587 --> 00:08:39,186
We can't let our friend
make a crazy decision
256
00:08:39,288 --> 00:08:40,321
just because she got fired!
257
00:08:40,423 --> 00:08:41,622
Angie got fired from the law firm?
258
00:08:41,724 --> 00:08:44,024
Was it because she kept taking
naps on the lobby couch?
259
00:08:44,126 --> 00:08:46,260
I told her she was flying
too close to the sun.
260
00:08:46,362 --> 00:08:47,528
She can't go.
261
00:08:47,630 --> 00:08:49,129
I mean, I know she's saying
it's just for the summer,
262
00:08:49,231 --> 00:08:50,664
but what if she never comes back?
263
00:08:50,766 --> 00:08:52,232
You know she has an inertia issue.
264
00:08:52,335 --> 00:08:54,501
She still wears a toe ring that
she got in the eighth grade!
265
00:08:54,604 --> 00:08:55,769
I love your energy, bro.
266
00:08:55,871 --> 00:08:57,671
I do not know what inertia is,
but I'm with you.
267
00:08:57,773 --> 00:08:59,708
- What's the plan?
- We got to get her job back.
268
00:08:59,794 --> 00:09:01,241
I don't know how,
but we'll figure it out
269
00:09:01,344 --> 00:09:02,743
on the way to the office. Let's roll.
270
00:09:02,845 --> 00:09:04,478
Okay. Cool. I'm gonna go put on
my sweats and running sneaks.
271
00:09:04,580 --> 00:09:05,879
Miggy, we're gonna drive.
272
00:09:05,982 --> 00:09:07,468
Thank God. I can't run any more today.
273
00:09:07,538 --> 00:09:09,561
My knees be jello!
274
00:09:11,179 --> 00:09:14,173
Bethany Gummi Bear,
this candy-ass thot...
275
00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:16,907
- Hm.
- She's freaking out.
276
00:09:16,995 --> 00:09:18,142
Do you smell that?
277
00:09:18,220 --> 00:09:19,696
I think she just had a cigarette.
278
00:09:19,806 --> 00:09:22,001
Hey, girls. Can I ask you a question?
279
00:09:22,071 --> 00:09:24,968
Your dad, has he been
spending a lot of time out?
280
00:09:25,036 --> 00:09:26,169
With people?
281
00:09:26,238 --> 00:09:27,317
Bra people?
282
00:09:27,394 --> 00:09:29,594
Oh, yeah. He's living his best life.
283
00:09:29,649 --> 00:09:31,549
Ohh! Good.
284
00:09:31,617 --> 00:09:33,183
You okay, Poppy?
285
00:09:33,286 --> 00:09:35,119
Yeah. Yeah.
286
00:09:35,221 --> 00:09:36,620
Yeah.
287
00:09:36,722 --> 00:09:38,689
Yeah!
288
00:09:38,791 --> 00:09:40,157
It's working!
289
00:09:40,226 --> 00:09:42,159
Now we move on
to making Douglas jealous.
290
00:09:42,228 --> 00:09:43,294
But how do we get to him?
291
00:09:43,362 --> 00:09:45,563
He barely uses technology.
292
00:09:52,538 --> 00:09:53,737
Just Poppy and I,
293
00:09:53,806 --> 00:09:56,006
we... we used to
spend every day together.
294
00:09:56,075 --> 00:09:57,908
And then she... she wanted a baby,
295
00:09:57,977 --> 00:10:00,945
and I didn't, and now
it's like we're total strangers.
296
00:10:01,914 --> 00:10:04,882
Ah, love is a cruel mistress, huh, Tony?
297
00:10:04,951 --> 00:10:07,117
Well, at least you and I
are solid, right?
298
00:10:07,186 --> 00:10:08,980
Uh... Uh... My show's on.
299
00:10:09,066 --> 00:10:10,473
This is KPJZ,
300
00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:12,356
your favorite spot for undervalued jazz.
301
00:10:12,458 --> 00:10:14,224
You were just listening
to "Tummy Nickels"
302
00:10:14,327 --> 00:10:16,594
by Shippy Boodaz
and the Twinkling Moon Spoons.
303
00:10:16,662 --> 00:10:19,163
Oh, Shippy. The Lord took him too soon.
304
00:10:20,099 --> 00:10:21,799
It's a fast life behind the horn.
305
00:10:21,878 --> 00:10:23,801
Our next song is a request by Vince
306
00:10:23,903 --> 00:10:25,190
going out to a very special
307
00:10:25,276 --> 00:10:27,371
new woman in his life, Poppy Banks.
308
00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:28,772
"Poppy, thank you for a wonderful night
309
00:10:28,874 --> 00:10:30,140
of delicate Frenching.
310
00:10:30,209 --> 00:10:32,610
Here's to enjoying more
sunsets together, sipping wine,
311
00:10:32,712 --> 00:10:34,612
and marching for the rights
of the disadvantaged."
312
00:10:34,680 --> 00:10:36,413
Well, that's beautiful.
Good luck to them both.
313
00:10:36,515 --> 00:10:37,781
And now, dedicated to Poppy,
314
00:10:37,850 --> 00:10:39,917
"Night Petting" by Dimp Hoolihan.
315
00:10:42,555 --> 00:10:45,990
I need some time to sweat by myself.
316
00:10:46,092 --> 00:10:49,152
Give me 10 minutes and come back
with my sad olives.
317
00:10:54,634 --> 00:10:58,802
No, I'll see you on the green, Louis!
318
00:10:58,871 --> 00:11:00,938
How'd it go? Did you talk
to your boss about Angie?
319
00:11:00,963 --> 00:11:02,095
Yeah, I couldn't get her job back.
320
00:11:02,145 --> 00:11:04,708
- What?
- But great news... I got a promotion!
321
00:11:04,777 --> 00:11:06,210
I'm leveling up, my man.
322
00:11:06,312 --> 00:11:08,161
Okay, clearly I'm the one
that has to deal with this.
323
00:11:08,216 --> 00:11:10,171
- Move aside.
- Wait, fine. But if my boss asks,
324
00:11:10,247 --> 00:11:12,583
I got my MBA from Yale.
325
00:11:12,685 --> 00:11:14,752
Wh...
326
00:11:14,854 --> 00:11:15,986
Shut up.
327
00:11:16,088 --> 00:11:17,788
All right, Angie's boss, I'm Will Coo...
328
00:11:17,890 --> 00:11:21,125
Wow. This is not what I was expecting.
329
00:11:21,227 --> 00:11:22,626
Whole lot of men in suits.
330
00:11:22,728 --> 00:11:26,363
Sorry, I see that some of you are women.
Very beautiful women.
331
00:11:26,432 --> 00:11:27,564
No, shouldn't have said that...
332
00:11:27,633 --> 00:11:29,133
that is very disrespectful.
333
00:11:29,201 --> 00:11:31,969
I know what I'm saying,
and I hear how bad it is.
334
00:11:32,038 --> 00:11:34,571
Oh! We doing a slideshow?
335
00:11:39,178 --> 00:11:40,411
Hello.
336
00:11:40,513 --> 00:11:42,312
Douglas.
337
00:11:42,415 --> 00:11:43,947
Night has fallen.
338
00:11:44,050 --> 00:11:46,183
I noticed. It's dark.
339
00:11:46,252 --> 00:11:48,385
I'm here to collect the girls.
340
00:11:48,487 --> 00:11:50,521
I can wait outside if you want.
341
00:11:50,589 --> 00:11:51,622
Oh, no. I mean,
unless you're in a hurry.
342
00:11:51,691 --> 00:11:53,724
- You have big plans?
- No.
343
00:11:53,826 --> 00:11:56,593
No, I just didn't want to get in the way
344
00:11:56,696 --> 00:11:59,196
if you had... company.
345
00:11:59,265 --> 00:12:01,532
Uh-huh.
346
00:12:03,169 --> 00:12:04,401
Who the hell is Bethany Gummi Bear?!
347
00:12:04,503 --> 00:12:07,004
Who's Vince, and why are you
delicately Frenching him?!
348
00:12:07,106 --> 00:12:08,939
Vince?
349
00:12:09,008 --> 00:12:10,574
And now to complete the love triangle.
350
00:12:10,643 --> 00:12:14,545
A delicious complication for
Douglas and Bethany Gummi Bear.
351
00:12:14,647 --> 00:12:17,347
Enter TiffanyYumYum8.
352
00:12:17,416 --> 00:12:19,683
Doesn't Yum Yum step on Gummi Bear?
353
00:12:19,785 --> 00:12:23,320
Amy, you're off the keys.
Emma, Tiffany's talking to me.
354
00:12:23,422 --> 00:12:24,755
Type.
355
00:12:24,857 --> 00:12:26,423
"Douglas," comma.
356
00:12:26,525 --> 00:12:29,059
"When are you coming around
again," question mark.
357
00:12:29,128 --> 00:12:32,196
"My dog Banjo,
he... he really misses you."
358
00:12:32,264 --> 00:12:35,132
Shooting star emoji, firework emoji.
359
00:12:35,234 --> 00:12:37,578
"If you don't respond,
I'll hurt myself." And post!
360
00:12:44,130 --> 00:12:45,309
Will, I'm so glad you're here.
361
00:12:45,377 --> 00:12:47,311
Do you think I'm gonna need
this horse mask in Barstow?
362
00:12:47,413 --> 00:12:49,413
What am I saying?
Of course I'm gonna need it.
363
00:12:49,515 --> 00:12:51,315
What I if want to go
into town unnoticed?
364
00:12:51,383 --> 00:12:53,150
Uhh, looks like you haven't really
365
00:12:53,252 --> 00:12:55,137
- made a dent in your packing.
- It's fine.
366
00:12:55,215 --> 00:12:56,590
Derek isn't coming till 9:00 a.m.,
367
00:12:56,668 --> 00:12:58,388
so time to channel Teen Angie D'Amato,
368
00:12:58,457 --> 00:12:59,690
pull an all-nighter.
369
00:12:59,792 --> 00:13:02,259
Step one... find my bag
with all my bags in it.
370
00:13:02,328 --> 00:13:03,594
Well, it's actually good
you're not packed,
371
00:13:03,662 --> 00:13:06,330
because, uh... you're not going.
372
00:13:06,432 --> 00:13:08,198
I got you your job back.
373
00:13:13,038 --> 00:13:14,638
- You did what?
- Let's just say
374
00:13:14,707 --> 00:13:16,707
I had a little impromptu chat
with the board,
375
00:13:16,809 --> 00:13:19,576
and also I dropped some serious
slideshow knowledge on them,
376
00:13:19,645 --> 00:13:21,945
'cause here's the thing...
the real slideshow happens
377
00:13:22,047 --> 00:13:24,748
- in the moments between the slides.
- Great!
378
00:13:24,817 --> 00:13:26,316
Well, since you know your way
around my office,
379
00:13:26,418 --> 00:13:28,385
now you can go back and get me re-fired.
380
00:13:28,487 --> 00:13:30,039
What? Why?
381
00:13:30,094 --> 00:13:33,757
Because you majorly overstepped, dude.
382
00:13:33,859 --> 00:13:35,859
Getting fired is my business!
383
00:13:35,961 --> 00:13:37,928
It was the one area of my life
you hadn't weighed in on.
384
00:13:38,030 --> 00:13:40,197
Okay, but your life is here,
385
00:13:40,266 --> 00:13:41,698
and that job
is how you pay for this life.
386
00:13:41,767 --> 00:13:43,100
So, I thought you'd be happy.
387
00:13:43,169 --> 00:13:44,468
Oh, I am the opposite of happy!
388
00:13:44,537 --> 00:13:46,436
- Horny?
- No!
389
00:13:46,505 --> 00:13:48,405
You think happy and horny are opposites?
390
00:13:48,507 --> 00:13:49,506
That's so sad!
391
00:13:49,608 --> 00:13:50,974
No, I'm mad!
392
00:13:51,076 --> 00:13:52,943
Angie, I'm just trying
to look out for you, okay?
393
00:13:53,012 --> 00:13:55,112
Oh, I know you are. You always are!
394
00:13:55,181 --> 00:13:57,014
You're constantly telling me
how to live a better life.
395
00:13:57,116 --> 00:13:58,582
"Learn guitar, Angie."
396
00:13:58,684 --> 00:14:00,017
"Don't date the cheating Brit, Angie."
397
00:14:00,119 --> 00:14:02,386
"Tell that woman you backed
into her van, Angie."
398
00:14:02,488 --> 00:14:04,955
- Because it was Poppy!
- You made me this person...
399
00:14:05,057 --> 00:14:08,258
this gross person
who wants more for herself.
400
00:14:08,327 --> 00:14:09,259
You're the one who always said
401
00:14:09,328 --> 00:14:10,894
that I should go for a job that I love.
402
00:14:10,996 --> 00:14:12,229
Well, now I can do that.
403
00:14:12,331 --> 00:14:14,665
I was actually gonna
take some courses in Barstow!
404
00:14:14,767 --> 00:14:16,366
- What courses?
- Shut up!
405
00:14:16,435 --> 00:14:18,035
I made this decision.
406
00:14:18,103 --> 00:14:20,838
I am taking a chance
on me and my happiness,
407
00:14:20,906 --> 00:14:22,239
and now you want me to stop.
408
00:14:22,308 --> 00:14:25,342
I just think you're
making a terrible mistake.
409
00:14:25,411 --> 00:14:27,010
The elder nudity in Barstow
410
00:14:27,079 --> 00:14:28,478
isn't even as bad as they say it is.
411
00:14:28,581 --> 00:14:29,780
It's not that!
412
00:14:29,882 --> 00:14:32,683
Although I'd argue any
elderly nudity is a red flag.
413
00:14:32,751 --> 00:14:34,318
Then what is this about?
414
00:14:34,386 --> 00:14:36,753
Derek? You hate his hot, stupid guts.
415
00:14:36,856 --> 00:14:37,988
- Just admit it!
- Admit it?
416
00:14:38,090 --> 00:14:39,489
I have been very open
417
00:14:39,592 --> 00:14:41,725
about how much I hate
his hot, stupid guts.
418
00:14:41,794 --> 00:14:43,627
- I beat him up for you!
- It was a draw.
419
00:14:43,711 --> 00:14:45,911
- Oh, d... I kicked his ass!
- You know what?
420
00:14:45,998 --> 00:14:47,779
LA costs a billion dollars,
421
00:14:47,867 --> 00:14:50,067
and my super-cool horse mask
is already in this box.
422
00:14:50,135 --> 00:14:52,269
There's nothing keeping me here.
423
00:14:52,338 --> 00:14:54,738
I have no meaningful roots.
424
00:14:56,208 --> 00:14:58,342
No meaningful roots? Really?
425
00:14:58,410 --> 00:15:00,644
What about our group of friends?
426
00:15:00,746 --> 00:15:02,212
What...
427
00:15:02,314 --> 00:15:03,347
What about me?
428
00:15:03,415 --> 00:15:06,383
I'm figuring it out, okay?
This is all confusing.
429
00:15:06,485 --> 00:15:08,352
Derek is confusing.
430
00:15:08,454 --> 00:15:10,087
You're confusing.
431
00:15:10,189 --> 00:15:12,589
I just... I just need
to follow the signs.
432
00:15:12,691 --> 00:15:14,658
You can't leave a decision this big
433
00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:17,261
to some imaginary message from the sky.
434
00:15:17,363 --> 00:15:18,495
The universe would disagree.
435
00:15:18,597 --> 00:15:19,997
Okay, universe. Give us a sign.
436
00:15:20,099 --> 00:15:22,299
Should Angie go to Barstow?
437
00:15:22,401 --> 00:15:24,268
See?
438
00:15:24,370 --> 00:15:26,737
You're not gonna be able to
outsource this one to fate.
439
00:15:26,839 --> 00:15:28,906
You're gonna have to make your
own decision, and you know why?
440
00:15:29,008 --> 00:15:31,177
Because there is no such thing as signs.
441
00:15:34,179 --> 00:15:36,434
Well, that was an
unfortunately timed coincidence.
442
00:15:37,192 --> 00:15:38,942
So, you were trying to
get us back together?
443
00:15:39,028 --> 00:15:40,934
- You were "Parent Trap'ing" us?
- Whoa!
444
00:15:41,013 --> 00:15:43,493
- Poppy!
- Look, I'm on your side, but it's 2020.
445
00:15:43,550 --> 00:15:45,316
You don't say that to twins.
446
00:15:45,407 --> 00:15:46,673
We were trying to make you jealous.
447
00:15:46,742 --> 00:15:48,608
So, yeah, we called
that creepy radio station.
448
00:15:48,677 --> 00:15:50,838
And, yes, we made up Bethany Gummi Bear.
449
00:15:50,924 --> 00:15:52,512
We had a whole arc planned for her.
450
00:15:52,614 --> 00:15:54,648
- She was gonna get her GED.
- We didn't agree on that.
451
00:15:54,717 --> 00:15:56,683
Part of her allure
was that she was uneducated.
452
00:15:56,752 --> 00:15:58,285
Look, you can't manipulate people
453
00:15:58,387 --> 00:15:59,653
and force them to get back together.
454
00:15:59,722 --> 00:16:01,621
Yeah, Poppy's right. This is between us.
455
00:16:01,690 --> 00:16:03,223
And by the way,
I would never date anyone
456
00:16:03,292 --> 00:16:05,258
who didn't have at least
an associate's degree.
457
00:16:05,361 --> 00:16:06,827
But we're a part of this, too.
458
00:16:06,929 --> 00:16:09,096
We've been there every step of the way.
459
00:16:09,198 --> 00:16:11,164
When do we get our say?
460
00:16:11,233 --> 00:16:13,100
You don't, okay? I'm sorry.
461
00:16:13,202 --> 00:16:15,602
Look, I know it doesn't
seem fair, but the truth is
462
00:16:15,704 --> 00:16:17,571
that, uh, Poppy and I are...
463
00:16:17,639 --> 00:16:19,139
just gonna be friends for now.
464
00:16:19,208 --> 00:16:21,308
But it doesn't seem like
you guys are friends.
465
00:16:21,377 --> 00:16:23,443
You only talk about squirrel sightings.
466
00:16:23,512 --> 00:16:27,014
Yeah, and pretty soon,
you guys won't talk at all.
467
00:16:28,851 --> 00:16:30,917
That's a meaningful look!
You two both saw that.
468
00:16:31,020 --> 00:16:33,520
We struck a nerve.
Now we can't get in trouble.
469
00:16:33,589 --> 00:16:34,688
We'll be waiting in the car.
470
00:16:34,757 --> 00:16:36,408
Wait, we're not finished here.
471
00:16:36,494 --> 00:16:38,325
- Look, I...
- Yeah.
472
00:16:38,427 --> 00:16:39,860
Okay.
473
00:16:41,163 --> 00:16:42,162
Okay, so I know that
474
00:16:42,231 --> 00:16:44,498
Tiffany Yum Yum 8 is totally made up,
475
00:16:44,566 --> 00:16:48,135
but you would not believe what
this crazy B's got going on.
476
00:16:49,705 --> 00:16:51,638
What the hell happened?
477
00:16:51,707 --> 00:16:53,940
Did you leave a curling iron on
somewhere or something?
478
00:16:54,043 --> 00:16:55,008
Yes, Will.
479
00:16:55,110 --> 00:16:56,243
I left my curling iron on
480
00:16:56,345 --> 00:16:58,245
and short-circuited the entire house.
481
00:16:58,313 --> 00:17:01,415
No, obviously, I had
the power company stop service
482
00:17:01,483 --> 00:17:02,682
since I'm leaving tomorrow.
483
00:17:02,751 --> 00:17:05,385
I don't want my dumb subletter
mooching off of me.
484
00:17:05,454 --> 00:17:07,287
I just didn't realize
when the power company said
485
00:17:07,356 --> 00:17:11,291
"losing power at 9:00,"
they meant, like, at 9:00.
486
00:17:11,360 --> 00:17:12,526
I think I found a flashlight.
487
00:17:12,628 --> 00:17:15,262
Nope. Just a hidden bottle of wine.
488
00:17:15,338 --> 00:17:16,775
Oh, here we go. No.
489
00:17:16,827 --> 00:17:18,060
Another bottle.
490
00:17:18,100 --> 00:17:19,533
You know, for someone
whose house just burned down,
491
00:17:19,601 --> 00:17:21,068
you are ill-prepared for an emergency.
492
00:17:21,170 --> 00:17:23,270
You can't prepare for an emergency.
493
00:17:23,338 --> 00:17:25,138
Then it's not an emergency.
494
00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:27,541
Ooh! Found my candles.
495
00:17:28,777 --> 00:17:30,143
I love this one...
496
00:17:30,212 --> 00:17:32,679
Evil Gingerbread Surprise.
497
00:17:34,049 --> 00:17:36,750
Oh, my God. That smells terrible.
498
00:17:36,819 --> 00:17:39,553
I get all my candles at the
holiday section at gas stations.
499
00:17:39,621 --> 00:17:41,755
Cheesy Peppermint Mocha,
500
00:17:41,857 --> 00:17:42,956
Turkey Balsam Fir,
501
00:17:43,058 --> 00:17:46,059
or Reindeer Musk?
502
00:17:46,161 --> 00:17:47,694
Hell, I'm in.
503
00:17:53,635 --> 00:17:54,835
I'm sorry.
504
00:17:54,903 --> 00:17:58,138
I should not have tried to
puppet-master your decision.
505
00:17:58,207 --> 00:18:02,242
And if you want to give it
a second chance with Derek,
506
00:18:02,311 --> 00:18:03,743
I support that.
507
00:18:05,013 --> 00:18:06,780
I just want you to be happy.
508
00:18:06,882 --> 00:18:08,181
Thank you.
509
00:18:09,518 --> 00:18:13,787
And I'm sorry that I said
I have no reason to stay here.
510
00:18:13,856 --> 00:18:16,756
You're a really amazing friend.
511
00:18:16,859 --> 00:18:18,346
It's too bad I'm a Barstow bitch now.
512
00:18:18,427 --> 00:18:20,307
You're gonna make
the best Barstow bitch.
513
00:18:20,331 --> 00:18:21,362
Right?
514
00:18:21,363 --> 00:18:23,864
So, it's our last night together.
515
00:18:23,966 --> 00:18:26,700
I guess we'll be
spending it in the dark.
516
00:18:26,768 --> 00:18:30,003
Well, we could make our way
through my living room wine.
517
00:18:30,105 --> 00:18:31,771
We don't have to paw around
looking for a bottle opener
518
00:18:31,874 --> 00:18:34,574
- because twist-offs rule.
- They truly do.
519
00:18:39,214 --> 00:18:40,313
Okay, that one's yours.
520
00:18:43,585 --> 00:18:44,851
To our last night.
521
00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:46,453
To our last night.
522
00:18:46,522 --> 00:18:48,555
And...
523
00:18:48,624 --> 00:18:51,424
my one meaningful root.
524
00:18:55,731 --> 00:18:57,297
Hmm.
525
00:19:02,337 --> 00:19:04,638
- Hey.
- Hey, Douglas.
526
00:19:04,706 --> 00:19:07,641
Um, look, I-I was thinking
about what the kids said,
527
00:19:07,743 --> 00:19:09,809
and I kind of think they have a point.
528
00:19:09,912 --> 00:19:12,646
Yeah, me too.
529
00:19:12,714 --> 00:19:14,281
I mean, I'm still punishing Rory.
530
00:19:14,383 --> 00:19:15,782
Took away his karaoke machine.
531
00:19:15,884 --> 00:19:17,539
If he wants to sing,
it's gotta be a cappella.
532
00:19:17,564 --> 00:19:18,586
Oh, you went easy on him.
533
00:19:18,641 --> 00:19:20,446
I pulled out the big guns.
534
00:19:20,522 --> 00:19:21,922
I'm making them watch "Parent Trap."
535
00:19:22,024 --> 00:19:23,690
Can we turn this crap off?
536
00:19:23,792 --> 00:19:25,091
You'll watch the whole thing!
537
00:19:25,194 --> 00:19:26,760
This is a hate crime!
538
00:19:26,828 --> 00:19:29,930
Look, I... I still
want us to be friends.
539
00:19:29,998 --> 00:19:32,866
And not just fake friends
540
00:19:32,935 --> 00:19:34,868
who only talk about the weather.
541
00:19:34,970 --> 00:19:36,369
Yeah, can we do that?
542
00:19:36,471 --> 00:19:38,605
I don't know. We can try.
543
00:19:38,707 --> 00:19:39,873
What'd we used to do?
544
00:19:39,942 --> 00:19:41,608
Well, I think we just
used to think of stuff
545
00:19:41,710 --> 00:19:44,845
and say it out loud.
546
00:19:45,981 --> 00:19:48,148
How you doing?
547
00:19:48,250 --> 00:19:49,516
Honestly? Lousy.
548
00:19:49,618 --> 00:19:51,918
Oh, thank God. I can't even sleep.
549
00:19:52,020 --> 00:19:53,954
You know I started watching "Frasier"?
550
00:19:54,056 --> 00:19:55,488
Really? You hate that show.
551
00:19:55,591 --> 00:19:58,058
Yeah, but it's starting to grow on me.
552
00:19:58,160 --> 00:19:59,326
Hey, here's a question...
553
00:19:59,428 --> 00:20:02,429
uh, do Niles and Frasier
ever get together?
554
00:20:02,531 --> 00:20:03,530
They're brothers.
555
00:20:03,632 --> 00:20:06,099
Ah. Oh. Okay, well...
556
00:20:06,201 --> 00:20:07,601
Still a pretty good show.
557
00:20:07,703 --> 00:20:09,102
Yeah.
558
00:20:09,204 --> 00:20:10,437
Now your turn.
559
00:20:23,885 --> 00:20:26,492
- Oh, my gaaah!
- What the ass!
560
00:21:26,798 --> 00:21:28,860
This next dedication goes out to Vince
561
00:21:28,945 --> 00:21:31,156
from a new listener, Bethany Gummi Bear.
562
00:21:31,242 --> 00:21:32,875
"Vince, I wouldn't
trade our time together
563
00:21:32,961 --> 00:21:34,414
for anything in the world.
564
00:21:34,446 --> 00:21:36,180
Even that day I found out
our friend had sex
565
00:21:36,248 --> 00:21:37,447
with your secret son.
566
00:21:37,545 --> 00:21:39,115
Anyway, you'll always be in my heart,
567
00:21:39,151 --> 00:21:40,568
and I'll always love you."
568
00:21:40,646 --> 00:21:43,187
Now here's "Frost Smitten"
by the sludge man himself,
569
00:21:43,256 --> 00:21:44,545
Fat Jake Lungtug.
570
00:21:47,952 --> 00:21:49,151
You knew Lungtug.
571
00:21:49,253 --> 00:21:51,053
Before he hammered that hippie to death.
572
00:21:51,155 --> 00:21:52,392
You know, for another time.
573
00:21:52,456 --> 00:21:53,860
Let's just enjoy this.
574
00:21:58,913 --> 00:22:03,905
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com