1 00:00:00,047 --> 00:00:02,250 ...plum, lemon, apple, cherries... No, no, no, no. 2 00:00:02,296 --> 00:00:04,456 Cantaloupe. Yep. And those are the ten best fruits. 3 00:00:04,481 --> 00:00:05,874 - Good one. - Next, vegetables. Mm. 4 00:00:05,902 --> 00:00:08,209 - So, celery, ca... Wha... - Okay, I can't take it anymore. 5 00:00:08,234 --> 00:00:10,404 - Wow. - Will, what's up with the suit? 6 00:00:10,429 --> 00:00:12,624 - It's for my audition to, - Yeah. 7 00:00:12,648 --> 00:00:14,850 get this, be an on-air meteorologist. 8 00:00:14,890 --> 00:00:16,647 - Ohh! - Whoa, Will! 9 00:00:16,701 --> 00:00:18,210 I ran into an old producing buddy of mine 10 00:00:18,256 --> 00:00:19,511 at a kitchen supply store. 11 00:00:19,546 --> 00:00:21,465 I was right in the middle of a free sample of crumb cake. 12 00:00:21,494 --> 00:00:22,949 And there she was. 13 00:00:23,746 --> 00:00:25,764 - Mmm. - Will? 14 00:00:27,516 --> 00:00:30,217 Tracy Freeze! Hi! 15 00:00:30,249 --> 00:00:31,679 - Oh, it's been forever! - Yeah. 16 00:00:31,719 --> 00:00:34,186 So, are you still working from home? Just full-on dad mode? 17 00:00:34,255 --> 00:00:36,605 Ah, nah. I'm actually just killing time in here 18 00:00:36,657 --> 00:00:38,957 while they fix my bike across the street. 19 00:00:39,026 --> 00:00:41,291 - My motorcycle bike. - Will Cooper? 20 00:00:41,316 --> 00:00:43,472 Your daddy/daughter monogrammed chef hats are ready. 21 00:00:43,497 --> 00:00:45,174 - Those aren't mine. - Oh, your name's not Will? 22 00:00:45,199 --> 00:00:46,222 And your daughter's name's not Sophie? 23 00:00:46,267 --> 00:00:47,766 What are you... a private detective? 24 00:00:51,088 --> 00:00:53,349 So, she said I could audition to be the weatherman for KZOP. 25 00:00:53,374 --> 00:00:54,383 K-ZOP! 26 00:00:54,408 --> 00:00:56,175 I've always kind of been a behind-the-camera guy, 27 00:00:56,277 --> 00:00:57,392 but ever since Angie and I 28 00:00:57,445 --> 00:00:59,444 survived that tropical storm, eh, I don't know. 29 00:00:59,547 --> 00:01:00,963 I've just been more willing to put myself out there. 30 00:01:01,048 --> 00:01:02,314 This would be my dream job. 31 00:01:02,416 --> 00:01:03,449 Well, get that mon-ey. 32 00:01:03,501 --> 00:01:04,783 Wow! I'm really proud of you. 33 00:01:04,835 --> 00:01:06,919 Hey, um, can I get free tickets to be in the audience? 34 00:01:07,021 --> 00:01:08,687 There is no audience for local news. 35 00:01:08,722 --> 00:01:09,755 Ar-Are there free pens? 36 00:01:09,824 --> 00:01:11,204 - There may be pens, yeah. - Nice! 37 00:01:11,235 --> 00:01:13,024 Listen, if they give you a secretary, 38 00:01:13,043 --> 00:01:15,060 you want to make sure that you pick a homely one. 39 00:01:15,095 --> 00:01:17,229 - Mm-hmm. - Right? Big nose. Weird skin. 40 00:01:17,281 --> 00:01:18,597 Or else you're not gonna get anything done. 41 00:01:18,649 --> 00:01:22,134 Anyway, I've spent all day making an audition tape, 42 00:01:22,203 --> 00:01:23,368 and I would love some feedback 43 00:01:23,420 --> 00:01:25,003 'cause I have no idea if it's any good. 44 00:01:25,105 --> 00:01:27,139 You know, I've just been a stay-at-home dad too long. 45 00:01:27,241 --> 00:01:29,141 My dad skills are on point. 46 00:01:29,176 --> 00:01:31,142 I can make a lunch with my eyes closed. 47 00:01:31,245 --> 00:01:33,445 And, yes, my dishwasher thinks I'm charming, but will L.A.? 48 00:01:33,497 --> 00:01:36,381 You know, will I have that Al Roker-level of charisma? 49 00:01:36,450 --> 00:01:38,817 - That elusive zazz. - What is "zazz"? 50 00:01:38,886 --> 00:01:40,586 When you experience zazz, you'll know it. 51 00:01:40,688 --> 00:01:42,721 In your bones. And a little in your butt. 52 00:01:42,790 --> 00:01:44,923 Al Roker gives me a tingle in my tush. 53 00:01:44,992 --> 00:01:47,192 Ar-Are you guys saying "zazz" or... or "jazz"? 54 00:01:47,294 --> 00:01:49,061 Hey, dude, I'll take a look at that tape. 55 00:01:49,096 --> 00:01:50,863 - I got a pretty good eye for zazz. - Great. 56 00:01:50,965 --> 00:01:52,598 - Count me in, too. - And Poppy's in! 57 00:01:52,666 --> 00:01:53,765 - Mm-hmm. - Yeah, I want to see this. 58 00:01:53,851 --> 00:01:55,100 Thank you. The big three! 59 00:01:55,202 --> 00:01:57,669 Uh, Mom? Something happened. 60 00:01:57,738 --> 00:01:59,605 Is it noticeable? 61 00:02:00,508 --> 00:02:03,175 Yeah, buddy. Yeah. 62 00:02:03,260 --> 00:02:06,178 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com 63 00:02:10,935 --> 00:02:14,152 Not to backseat-drive here, but it's permanent marker. 64 00:02:14,238 --> 00:02:16,655 This feels more like a cover-up than a wipe-off. 65 00:02:16,740 --> 00:02:18,723 Graham, who did this to you?! 66 00:02:18,826 --> 00:02:20,609 Who cares, really? 67 00:02:20,694 --> 00:02:24,246 One day you have a forehead, and the next day, you have "farts." 68 00:02:24,365 --> 00:02:25,864 No big deal. 69 00:02:25,950 --> 00:02:27,916 Disagree. Picture Day is in two days, 70 00:02:28,035 --> 00:02:30,786 and a bad picture can haunt you the entire year. 71 00:02:30,871 --> 00:02:33,372 Trust me. I've had some rough ones. 72 00:02:33,457 --> 00:02:34,501 - Every Picture Day, - One... 73 00:02:34,525 --> 00:02:36,936 - I get so nervous, my smile becomes, - two... three! 74 00:02:36,961 --> 00:02:39,261 well, real weird. 75 00:02:39,380 --> 00:02:40,546 I'm a lost cause, 76 00:02:40,631 --> 00:02:42,681 but you still have time to take a good picture. 77 00:02:42,766 --> 00:02:44,299 Graham, sweetie, 78 00:02:44,385 --> 00:02:45,767 tell Mommy who did this, okay? 79 00:02:45,886 --> 00:02:47,769 I promise I'll be cool. 80 00:02:51,892 --> 00:02:53,942 It was the twins. 81 00:02:54,061 --> 00:02:55,561 I'll kill them! 82 00:02:57,064 --> 00:02:58,763 Oh, hey, I can't babysit tonight. 83 00:02:58,866 --> 00:03:00,949 I mean, technically, I could, but I don't want to. 84 00:03:01,068 --> 00:03:03,652 We're here because your daughters 85 00:03:03,737 --> 00:03:06,121 vandalized my son's face. 86 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:08,657 His Picture Day is ruined! 87 00:03:08,742 --> 00:03:11,827 And not to be an alarmist, but maybe his life. 88 00:03:11,912 --> 00:03:14,713 Maybe they'll take profile shots this year. We're good. 89 00:03:14,798 --> 00:03:16,298 - Let's go. - No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 90 00:03:16,417 --> 00:03:18,800 You need to deal with this with Emma and Amy. 91 00:03:18,919 --> 00:03:20,002 I don't even know where they are. 92 00:03:20,087 --> 00:03:21,503 They're standing right there, 93 00:03:21,589 --> 00:03:22,971 polishing your golf clubs. 94 00:03:23,090 --> 00:03:26,391 Girls, why did you write "farts" on Graham's face? 95 00:03:26,477 --> 00:03:27,726 'Cause it's funny. 96 00:03:27,811 --> 00:03:29,094 Sooo funny. 97 00:03:30,208 --> 00:03:31,796 It says "farts"! 98 00:03:31,849 --> 00:03:33,815 Oh, man, I can't breathe. 99 00:03:33,934 --> 00:03:36,301 You gotta admit: it's hilarious. 100 00:03:36,403 --> 00:03:38,003 It says "farts" on his face. 101 00:03:38,105 --> 00:03:39,871 I mean, I can see the humor in it. 102 00:03:39,940 --> 00:03:41,139 - There you go. - No. 103 00:03:41,241 --> 00:03:42,441 It's not funny. 104 00:03:42,509 --> 00:03:45,577 My son's face looks like the side of a bathroom stall. 105 00:03:45,679 --> 00:03:46,778 We need an apology. 106 00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:48,246 An apology? No, no. 107 00:03:48,349 --> 00:03:49,998 Apologies are for the weak. 108 00:03:50,084 --> 00:03:52,250 Does the lion apologize to the gazelle? 109 00:03:52,319 --> 00:03:55,220 Does the tornado apologize to the trailer park? 110 00:03:55,289 --> 00:03:56,288 These are your kids! 111 00:03:56,357 --> 00:03:58,390 You need to teach them right and wrong! 112 00:03:58,459 --> 00:04:01,743 I am. By letting them act the way they see fit. 113 00:04:01,829 --> 00:04:03,278 Who knows how long I'm gonna be around? 114 00:04:03,364 --> 00:04:04,880 But while I'm here, 115 00:04:04,965 --> 00:04:07,466 I am teaching them to be self-sufficient. 116 00:04:07,501 --> 00:04:10,202 So in the future, when a self-driving car is president 117 00:04:10,270 --> 00:04:11,770 and the robots have figured out 118 00:04:11,839 --> 00:04:14,139 that the only thing they need from us is teeth, 119 00:04:14,208 --> 00:04:16,341 my girls will still be standing. 120 00:04:16,410 --> 00:04:17,442 Unlike others. 121 00:04:17,511 --> 00:04:18,960 What the hell are you doing? 122 00:04:19,013 --> 00:04:22,664 God, I love gardenia season! 123 00:04:22,700 --> 00:04:25,784 Look, I have worked too hard all by myself 124 00:04:25,886 --> 00:04:27,185 to drill a moral code into Graham, 125 00:04:27,254 --> 00:04:29,187 and I'm not gonna let your girls undo it. 126 00:04:29,256 --> 00:04:32,457 If you refuse to civilize them, I'll do it myself. 127 00:04:32,526 --> 00:04:33,992 Sleepover at my place. 128 00:04:34,044 --> 00:04:36,194 - Sleepover! - Let's go get our bags! 129 00:04:36,280 --> 00:04:37,929 This is gonna be a night. 130 00:04:38,032 --> 00:04:39,631 Good luck getting an apology. 131 00:04:39,733 --> 00:04:41,600 Maybe after that, you can push back the ocean 132 00:04:41,635 --> 00:04:42,868 or wrestle the wind. 133 00:04:42,936 --> 00:04:46,304 Just to be clear, I'm telling you it's impossible. 134 00:04:46,373 --> 00:04:47,739 We'll see about that. 135 00:04:47,841 --> 00:04:48,840 Good evening. 136 00:04:48,909 --> 00:04:50,375 Thanks for bothering to tune in. 137 00:04:50,444 --> 00:04:52,110 Bet you think I got nothing to tell you. 138 00:04:52,179 --> 00:04:54,146 You think it'll always be sunny and warm. 139 00:04:54,214 --> 00:04:56,815 'Cause you've been lulled into a California complacency 140 00:04:56,867 --> 00:05:00,168 like a little, tan baby eating avocado. 141 00:05:00,287 --> 00:05:01,453 Nom, nom, nom. 142 00:05:01,522 --> 00:05:02,587 Well, guess what. 143 00:05:02,656 --> 00:05:04,189 There's actually a low-pressure system 144 00:05:04,258 --> 00:05:05,323 coming in from the south. 145 00:05:05,392 --> 00:05:06,958 Do you know what that means, even? 146 00:05:07,061 --> 00:05:09,695 Here's a hint: It's gonna rain. 147 00:05:09,763 --> 00:05:12,481 That's all for now. Remember, I'm Will Cooper, 148 00:05:12,566 --> 00:05:15,100 "weather" you like it or not. 149 00:05:16,837 --> 00:05:19,504 - Well? What do you think? - The camera loves you. 150 00:05:19,556 --> 00:05:20,906 I don't even know if I could watch that again. 151 00:05:21,008 --> 00:05:23,875 - Very provocative. - Really? Please be honest. 152 00:05:25,713 --> 00:05:27,597 - You weather-shamed us! - Yeah, never show that again to anybody. 153 00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:31,249 Hey, here's a weather report: That audition was a natural disaster. 154 00:05:32,886 --> 00:05:35,854 Okay, we only have 48 hours until Picture Day. 155 00:05:35,889 --> 00:05:39,691 Luckily, a woman on the Internet swears by coconut oil. 156 00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:41,293 At least it's moisturizing. 157 00:05:41,395 --> 00:05:42,761 Wait. Water's our snack? 158 00:05:42,830 --> 00:05:44,062 It is for now. 159 00:05:44,164 --> 00:05:45,864 Give up the popcorn, D'Amato. 160 00:05:45,933 --> 00:05:47,799 Nope. Not until you apologize. 161 00:05:47,868 --> 00:05:49,634 I'm sorry for all the hassle. 162 00:05:49,737 --> 00:05:52,003 No, no. Y-You don't say you're sorry. 163 00:05:52,106 --> 00:05:53,271 They do. 164 00:05:53,373 --> 00:05:55,273 Apologize now! 165 00:05:55,342 --> 00:05:56,541 Is that the worst you got? 166 00:05:56,610 --> 00:05:59,845 Oh, Angie D is just warming up. 167 00:06:00,881 --> 00:06:04,115 Emma, Emma, Emma. 168 00:06:04,218 --> 00:06:06,418 We're friends, right? 169 00:06:07,321 --> 00:06:09,387 You like cheesy pop, Amy? 170 00:06:09,456 --> 00:06:12,924 This whole bowl could be yours if you would only apologize. 171 00:06:12,993 --> 00:06:14,259 I know what you're doing. 172 00:06:14,328 --> 00:06:16,328 I've seen two "Law and Orders." 173 00:06:16,396 --> 00:06:18,830 You foolish, foolish woman. 174 00:06:18,866 --> 00:06:20,966 Emma got some when she apologized. 175 00:06:21,034 --> 00:06:22,434 That never happened. 176 00:06:22,536 --> 00:06:23,702 I would sense it. 177 00:06:23,771 --> 00:06:24,770 Wait. Really? 178 00:06:24,838 --> 00:06:27,172 No, I heard you talking to her. 179 00:06:27,274 --> 00:06:29,207 You people and twins. 180 00:06:29,276 --> 00:06:32,477 I don't know the extent of your powers. 181 00:06:32,579 --> 00:06:34,563 This isn't over! 182 00:06:35,616 --> 00:06:37,866 Maybe you can add an "O", you know, 183 00:06:37,951 --> 00:06:39,701 to make it "Of Arts"? 184 00:06:39,787 --> 00:06:43,188 Or, as the French would call it, "des artistes." 185 00:06:43,257 --> 00:06:45,657 That sounds classy. 186 00:06:45,692 --> 00:06:47,108 I was trying to be edgy. 187 00:06:47,194 --> 00:06:49,460 KZOP probably thinks I'm some stay-at-home dad 188 00:06:49,513 --> 00:06:51,062 who smells like dryer sheets and snickerdoodles. 189 00:06:51,098 --> 00:06:52,864 I had to subvert their expectations. 190 00:06:52,966 --> 00:06:54,766 I don't think we expected what we just saw. 191 00:06:54,802 --> 00:06:57,185 Look, Will, I love that you're going after your dream. 192 00:06:57,271 --> 00:06:58,570 And I know how hard it is to go back to work 193 00:06:58,639 --> 00:06:59,838 after you've been out of the game for a while. 194 00:06:59,907 --> 00:07:01,072 That's how I felt with the Winebrary. 195 00:07:01,175 --> 00:07:03,642 But... and I don't know how to put this nicely... 196 00:07:03,710 --> 00:07:05,744 that audition is one of the worst things I've ever seen, 197 00:07:05,779 --> 00:07:07,379 and I've seen Miggy's music video. 198 00:07:07,481 --> 00:07:08,947 "Mystery Señorita"? 199 00:07:08,999 --> 00:07:13,318 ♪ Mystery señorita ♪ 200 00:07:13,353 --> 00:07:16,788 ♪ Señorita, chiquitita, mamacita ♪ 201 00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:18,006 ♪ ¿Quién eres? ♪ 202 00:07:18,041 --> 00:07:21,359 ♪ Young woman, young woman, young woman ♪ 203 00:07:21,395 --> 00:07:22,744 ♪ Who are you? ♪ 204 00:07:22,830 --> 00:07:27,215 ♪ Mystery señorita ♪ 205 00:07:27,301 --> 00:07:29,317 ♪ Su nombre puede ser ♪ 206 00:07:29,403 --> 00:07:32,037 ♪ Mi querida o tal vez Sandy ♪ 207 00:07:32,139 --> 00:07:34,089 ♪ Her name could be anything ♪ 208 00:07:34,174 --> 00:07:36,808 ♪ It could be Sandy ♪ 209 00:07:36,860 --> 00:07:41,479 ♪ Mystery señorita ♪ 210 00:07:41,548 --> 00:07:45,783 Ella ya estava cuando llegue al auto. 211 00:07:45,802 --> 00:07:50,322 ♪ She was here when I got in this car ♪ 212 00:07:50,407 --> 00:07:52,040 ♪ Who are you? ♪ 213 00:07:52,125 --> 00:07:54,893 - ♪ Mystery señorita ♪ - ♪ Señorita ♪ 214 00:07:54,962 --> 00:07:56,428 I'll take that comparison as a compliment. 215 00:07:56,530 --> 00:07:57,596 You shouldn't. 216 00:07:57,664 --> 00:07:59,431 Well, do you at least have specific notes? 217 00:07:59,516 --> 00:08:00,682 Listen, your on-air persona 218 00:08:00,767 --> 00:08:03,101 - is a little... - Anderson Cooper-y? 219 00:08:03,170 --> 00:08:05,470 - More like "scary guy at a bus stop." - Hmm. Noted. 220 00:08:05,522 --> 00:08:07,339 How about we help you make a new tape? 221 00:08:07,441 --> 00:08:08,473 I could fix your look. 222 00:08:08,575 --> 00:08:09,741 I've been wanting to do things 223 00:08:09,826 --> 00:08:11,543 to that hair for a long time. 224 00:08:11,645 --> 00:08:12,677 Is something wrong with my hair? 225 00:08:12,779 --> 00:08:14,012 How do you want me to answer that? 226 00:08:14,097 --> 00:08:16,381 And I can give you someone to play off of. 227 00:08:16,466 --> 00:08:18,016 I can be the newscaster that throws to you. 228 00:08:18,051 --> 00:08:19,851 And I'll be your acting coach. I'll make you 229 00:08:19,937 --> 00:08:21,853 a little less preachy and a little more peachy. 230 00:08:21,939 --> 00:08:23,855 From hateable to relatable! 231 00:08:23,941 --> 00:08:25,807 You guys, I can't tell you how much I appreciate this. 232 00:08:25,893 --> 00:08:27,642 Tomorrow, Will Cooper, we make you a star. 233 00:08:27,728 --> 00:08:30,478 This is gonna be the greatest thing I've ever been a part of! 234 00:08:30,564 --> 00:08:32,063 - Whoo! Yay! - Yeah! 235 00:08:32,149 --> 00:08:35,283 ♪ Mystery señorita ♪ 236 00:08:35,402 --> 00:08:38,536 - ♪ Señorita, chiquitita, mamacita ♪ - Oh, my God. 237 00:08:38,622 --> 00:08:40,484 - No. - ♪ ¿Quién eres? ♪ 238 00:08:41,224 --> 00:08:44,162 Well, it can't stay there forever, right? 239 00:08:44,208 --> 00:08:48,010 - Here. We wrote "sorry" notes. - I hope you're happy, Angie. 240 00:08:48,073 --> 00:08:50,284 You made us abandon our principles. 241 00:08:50,368 --> 00:08:52,101 Can I ask what was it that finally turned you? 242 00:08:52,170 --> 00:08:54,837 - Was it when I cried? - No, we just got bored. 243 00:08:54,906 --> 00:08:56,672 Can we just have cheesy pop now? 244 00:08:56,774 --> 00:08:58,991 One more thing. Hold 'em up. 245 00:09:00,311 --> 00:09:01,977 Yes! 246 00:09:02,079 --> 00:09:03,562 Thank you. 247 00:09:08,352 --> 00:09:09,468 Hello, Douglas. 248 00:09:09,554 --> 00:09:11,442 I don't believe it. How much did you pay 'em? 249 00:09:11,528 --> 00:09:13,689 It happened. They apologized. 250 00:09:13,724 --> 00:09:15,991 It took four hours using questionable tactics, 251 00:09:16,060 --> 00:09:17,793 but I domesticated your girls. 252 00:09:17,862 --> 00:09:19,528 Sweet freakin' dreams! 253 00:09:21,065 --> 00:09:24,934 Good morning. Hope everyone had a good night's sleep. 254 00:09:24,969 --> 00:09:27,386 I slept like a rock. 255 00:09:27,472 --> 00:09:29,472 Mom! Your face! 256 00:09:29,540 --> 00:09:30,723 - Oh, boy. - What? 257 00:09:33,077 --> 00:09:33,909 Oh! 258 00:09:37,915 --> 00:09:40,316 Oh, you're going down. 259 00:09:45,823 --> 00:09:48,691 It's not perfect, but it's a start. We'll find it. 260 00:09:48,726 --> 00:09:50,593 All right, thanks, guys. Best crew in the biz. 261 00:09:50,695 --> 00:09:51,961 Let's have a great show. 262 00:09:52,830 --> 00:09:54,463 Thank you so much for being up here with me. 263 00:09:54,515 --> 00:09:56,499 It already feels more like a real local news broadcast. 264 00:09:56,601 --> 00:09:57,867 Action! 265 00:09:57,902 --> 00:10:00,135 Authorities are calling it the bloodiest derailment 266 00:10:00,204 --> 00:10:01,570 in trolly-car history. 267 00:10:01,606 --> 00:10:03,822 And now here's Will Cooper with the weather! 268 00:10:05,126 --> 00:10:07,354 How... How bloody was it? 269 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:10,579 I'm Will Cooper, "weather" you like it or not. 270 00:10:10,681 --> 00:10:11,847 I need 40% less hands. 271 00:10:11,933 --> 00:10:14,783 I'm Will Cooper, "weather" you like it or not. 272 00:10:14,852 --> 00:10:16,368 - Do your eyes always do that? - What are you doing? 273 00:10:16,454 --> 00:10:18,120 Right. It wants to go right. 274 00:10:18,172 --> 00:10:20,623 It's telling me it wants to go right. I'm just listening. 275 00:10:20,691 --> 00:10:23,576 I'm Will Cooper, "weather" you like it or not. 276 00:10:23,661 --> 00:10:26,579 It started in the toilet, and now it's headed for your mouth. 277 00:10:26,664 --> 00:10:27,963 And now the weather. Will? 278 00:10:29,367 --> 00:10:30,299 Okay, try this. 279 00:10:30,401 --> 00:10:31,867 The camera is a waitress at a diner. 280 00:10:31,969 --> 00:10:33,068 She doesn't know she's beautiful. 281 00:10:33,137 --> 00:10:34,236 She asks you for a refill, 282 00:10:34,272 --> 00:10:36,288 and now this is your chance to introduce yourself. 283 00:10:36,374 --> 00:10:37,957 Who... are... you?! 284 00:10:38,042 --> 00:10:38,908 Will Cooper? 285 00:10:38,976 --> 00:10:40,025 Who do you want to be?! 286 00:10:40,144 --> 00:10:41,210 Will Cooper, the weatherman? 287 00:10:41,279 --> 00:10:42,912 Killing me, Cooper! You're killing me! 288 00:10:42,997 --> 00:10:45,463 - Left, left. - The boy and his llama 289 00:10:45,526 --> 00:10:47,266 were both released from the hospital... 290 00:10:47,351 --> 00:10:49,362 to be buried side by side. 291 00:10:49,420 --> 00:10:50,553 Over to you, Will. 292 00:10:50,588 --> 00:10:52,655 Where are these stories coming from?! 293 00:10:52,690 --> 00:10:54,123 Gah! You almost had it! 294 00:10:54,191 --> 00:10:56,625 I'm Will Cooper, "weather"... 295 00:10:56,711 --> 00:10:58,844 Need more dew. 296 00:10:58,930 --> 00:11:02,631 I'm Will Cooper... "weather" you like it or not. 297 00:11:02,717 --> 00:11:05,701 - Okay, 100% less sign-off. - No sign-off? 298 00:11:05,803 --> 00:11:07,069 How are they gonna know when it's over? 299 00:11:07,154 --> 00:11:08,537 Are you giving me bangs? 300 00:11:08,623 --> 00:11:10,172 This is what your hair wants to do. 301 00:11:10,258 --> 00:11:12,474 - This is the one! I can feel it! - Action. 302 00:11:12,560 --> 00:11:14,910 Good evening. Winds are coming in from the east. 303 00:11:14,979 --> 00:11:17,413 We should see a cool-down for most of Southern Los Angeles. 304 00:11:17,515 --> 00:11:19,298 Chances of rain are high. 305 00:11:22,186 --> 00:11:23,102 Is it over? 306 00:11:23,187 --> 00:11:24,353 You don't know... 307 00:11:24,438 --> 00:11:25,721 'cause there was no sign-off. 308 00:11:25,806 --> 00:11:26,972 The bangs were a mistake. 309 00:11:27,058 --> 00:11:28,023 Of course they were. 310 00:11:28,109 --> 00:11:30,025 That's not the problem, Miggy. 311 00:11:30,127 --> 00:11:31,560 I just don't have the zazz. 312 00:11:31,662 --> 00:11:33,629 Maybe I did at one point in my life, 313 00:11:33,681 --> 00:11:35,464 but I sure as hell don't have it now. 314 00:11:35,549 --> 00:11:37,783 I've been a stay-at-home dad for five years. 315 00:11:37,902 --> 00:11:40,269 And... And maybe that's all I am. 316 00:11:41,505 --> 00:11:43,138 See? That's the oven. 317 00:11:43,190 --> 00:11:44,339 I made you a quiche. 318 00:11:44,442 --> 00:11:45,441 One for each of you. 319 00:11:45,476 --> 00:11:46,575 I didn't even see him make that! 320 00:11:46,661 --> 00:11:49,011 Of course you didn't. I'm a lunch wizard. 321 00:11:49,046 --> 00:11:50,296 Douglas! 322 00:11:50,381 --> 00:11:51,880 Douglas! 323 00:11:51,932 --> 00:11:54,249 Hey, you got a mustache on your face. 324 00:11:54,318 --> 00:11:56,235 Your girls are out of control. 325 00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:58,020 They tore up their "sorry" notes! 326 00:11:58,122 --> 00:12:00,589 - You have to do something about this. - I get it. 327 00:12:00,675 --> 00:12:03,325 You're upset you look like a carnival barker in the Dust Bowl. 328 00:12:03,427 --> 00:12:06,495 But I already told you, we don't do apologies around here. 329 00:12:06,597 --> 00:12:09,131 My girls are strong and unshakable. 330 00:12:09,183 --> 00:12:10,699 Just like you and your brother, Luigi. 331 00:12:10,801 --> 00:12:12,735 Are you done with the mustache jokes? 332 00:12:12,803 --> 00:12:14,970 Yes, but how much for a gondola ride? 333 00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:18,173 So they're not gonna apologize? 334 00:12:18,259 --> 00:12:21,143 Your girls are hopeless, and I'm done trying to help. 335 00:12:21,178 --> 00:12:23,545 Now let's go try on every shade of foundation at Sephora. 336 00:12:23,648 --> 00:12:25,397 We're not going anywhere! 337 00:12:25,516 --> 00:12:28,434 Emma and Amy, get over here! 338 00:12:28,519 --> 00:12:30,436 Mess with me? Fine. 339 00:12:30,521 --> 00:12:33,822 But no one messes with my mom! 340 00:12:33,908 --> 00:12:36,191 Apologize! 341 00:12:36,243 --> 00:12:37,993 Or else. 342 00:12:38,079 --> 00:12:39,028 Or else what? 343 00:12:39,113 --> 00:12:40,946 You wanna fight us, Fart Head? 344 00:12:41,032 --> 00:12:42,665 No, no, no, no, no. 345 00:12:42,750 --> 00:12:43,832 Nobody wants to fight. 346 00:12:43,918 --> 00:12:46,368 You wanna rumble, let's rumble! 347 00:12:46,393 --> 00:12:47,419 To the street! 348 00:12:48,539 --> 00:12:51,090 Are you happy? There's a rumble happening! 349 00:12:51,208 --> 00:12:52,875 A rumble needs like 20 people. 350 00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:54,344 But fine. 351 00:12:55,306 --> 00:12:57,665 I can't believe our kids are fighting. 352 00:12:57,728 --> 00:12:59,859 Well, technically, they've only been circling each other 353 00:12:59,914 --> 00:13:02,367 - for half an hour. - Yeah, but look at Graham. 354 00:13:02,445 --> 00:13:04,479 Something primal has been released. 355 00:13:04,566 --> 00:13:06,199 I've never seen him circle anything. 356 00:13:06,251 --> 00:13:08,585 I'm 45 pounds of pent-up emotion! 357 00:13:08,670 --> 00:13:10,403 I can circle all day, baby! 358 00:13:10,489 --> 00:13:11,654 You know what? You did this. 359 00:13:11,740 --> 00:13:13,873 How you raise your kids affects my kid. 360 00:13:13,925 --> 00:13:15,341 You're not on an island, Douglas. 361 00:13:15,393 --> 00:13:18,178 I can't help it if I've taught my kids survival skills. 362 00:13:18,246 --> 00:13:21,447 Being a jerk is not a survival skill, all right? 363 00:13:21,516 --> 00:13:23,750 No one survives separated from the pack. 364 00:13:23,818 --> 00:13:25,919 In order to stay in the pack, you gotta be nice 365 00:13:25,971 --> 00:13:27,153 and apologize to your friends. 366 00:13:27,239 --> 00:13:28,354 Yeah, I don't believe in packs. 367 00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:29,455 We're born alone. 368 00:13:29,524 --> 00:13:31,524 We make love alone. We die alone. 369 00:13:31,626 --> 00:13:33,026 It's a dog-eat-dog world. 370 00:13:33,111 --> 00:13:34,494 Fogerty clan all day! 371 00:13:34,546 --> 00:13:35,895 Protect ya neck! 372 00:13:35,964 --> 00:13:37,263 You getting tired?! 373 00:13:37,332 --> 00:13:39,399 Really? Because you depend on us for a lot. 374 00:13:39,501 --> 00:13:41,301 Carpool. Sleepover. 375 00:13:41,336 --> 00:13:43,136 That one day you said you just had "the grumpies." 376 00:13:43,178 --> 00:13:45,115 - I did. - Hell, you're probably 377 00:13:45,139 --> 00:13:46,574 depending on me right now 378 00:13:46,575 --> 00:13:48,174 to jump in and stop this whole thing. 379 00:13:48,226 --> 00:13:50,643 That's what you sensitive parents tend to do. 380 00:13:50,729 --> 00:13:51,677 Wow. Okay. 381 00:13:51,780 --> 00:13:53,046 You know what? You want dog-eat-dog? 382 00:13:53,081 --> 00:13:56,172 You got it. I'm not protecting your kids anymore. 383 00:13:56,227 --> 00:13:58,451 - Hit 'em, Graham! - W-W-Wait. What are you doing? 384 00:13:58,520 --> 00:13:59,586 Playing by your rules. 385 00:13:59,621 --> 00:14:01,587 This is what you want, right? Jungle law? 386 00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:03,957 Take 'em down, Graham! Avenge Mommy! 387 00:14:04,025 --> 00:14:06,042 Heads up, we come from a long line 388 00:14:06,161 --> 00:14:08,194 of Sicilian street fighters. 389 00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:10,430 I got D'Amato blood in my veins! 390 00:14:10,532 --> 00:14:11,898 Hit 'em, Graham! 391 00:14:11,967 --> 00:14:16,002 This is for my hero: my mother! 392 00:14:16,071 --> 00:14:18,755 Okay, wait, wait! Stop! All right, no one fight, okay? 393 00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:21,641 Girls, listen. Graham is your friend. 394 00:14:21,743 --> 00:14:24,377 And even though he's... whiny and weird 395 00:14:24,412 --> 00:14:26,813 and picks his nose in the back seat of my car 396 00:14:26,848 --> 00:14:28,448 when he thinks I'm not looking, 397 00:14:28,483 --> 00:14:31,751 the point is, he needs you, and... 398 00:14:33,555 --> 00:14:34,587 ...you need him. 399 00:14:34,656 --> 00:14:36,072 You're joking, right, Dad? 400 00:14:36,157 --> 00:14:37,590 This guy? 401 00:14:37,676 --> 00:14:38,891 Apologize. 402 00:14:38,977 --> 00:14:40,693 It's the right thing to do. 403 00:14:40,762 --> 00:14:43,463 Fine. Sorry for writing "farts" on your head. 404 00:14:44,466 --> 00:14:46,416 And for your 'stache. 405 00:14:47,535 --> 00:14:49,135 I accept. 406 00:14:49,220 --> 00:14:50,837 Thank God it's over. 407 00:14:50,939 --> 00:14:53,273 Being angry is exhausting. 408 00:14:53,375 --> 00:14:54,624 Thank you, Douglas. 409 00:14:54,709 --> 00:14:57,193 And I'm sorry for holding your girls hostage all night. 410 00:14:57,279 --> 00:15:00,179 I gotta be honest, I don't think I fed them. 411 00:15:00,282 --> 00:15:02,448 Apology accepted. 412 00:15:02,550 --> 00:15:04,550 Good... good. 413 00:15:04,619 --> 00:15:06,219 Do you have anything you want to say to me? 414 00:15:06,321 --> 00:15:08,554 Yeah, no. I can't do it. 415 00:15:08,607 --> 00:15:11,457 - Really, dude? - I'm Dr. Douglas Fogerty. 416 00:15:11,526 --> 00:15:13,760 I haven't said sorry since 1998. 417 00:15:13,862 --> 00:15:16,663 I was alone and wanted to see how it would feel. 418 00:15:16,765 --> 00:15:17,914 I didn't care for it. 419 00:15:18,033 --> 00:15:20,133 But I'll apologize in my own way. 420 00:15:20,201 --> 00:15:21,467 Trust me. 421 00:15:21,569 --> 00:15:23,937 Oh, God. This is my fault. I gotta work on my banter. 422 00:15:23,981 --> 00:15:25,247 - I blame Miggy. - What?! 423 00:15:25,281 --> 00:15:27,140 You know every good performance starts with the hair. 424 00:15:27,242 --> 00:15:29,475 Hey, you're the one that told him to "Liza it up." 425 00:15:29,527 --> 00:15:31,008 No one knows who that is! 426 00:15:31,055 --> 00:15:33,162 - Ooh, take that back! - I will not. 427 00:15:33,248 --> 00:15:35,982 My friends, it is none of your fault, okay? 428 00:15:36,017 --> 00:15:39,085 I just... don't have the charisma to be on TV. 429 00:15:39,170 --> 00:15:41,220 I mean, who did I think I was? Mario Lopez? 430 00:15:41,289 --> 00:15:42,421 He was on my flight to Hawaii. 431 00:15:42,474 --> 00:15:43,823 Coach. 432 00:15:43,858 --> 00:15:46,242 Will, some people don't know what their dream job is. You do. 433 00:15:46,328 --> 00:15:48,028 That's a start, and you have to start somewhere. 434 00:15:48,107 --> 00:15:49,074 Yeah, man. 435 00:15:49,099 --> 00:15:50,563 You should've seen my first sneaker video. 436 00:15:50,632 --> 00:15:52,965 It was just a 10-second close-up of a shoelace. 437 00:15:53,034 --> 00:15:55,368 But that close-up got me to where I am today. 438 00:15:55,470 --> 00:15:57,170 I mean, look at me now. 439 00:15:57,238 --> 00:16:00,239 Fail early. Fail often. Fail forward. 440 00:16:00,308 --> 00:16:02,375 I got that quote from Will Smith's Instagram story. 441 00:16:02,477 --> 00:16:05,244 This is all very inspiring, and you know how much I love Will Smith. 442 00:16:05,347 --> 00:16:07,321 - He's a "Bad Boy." - But I just don't think it's... 443 00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:09,382 Okay, guys, great advice all around. 444 00:16:09,484 --> 00:16:11,284 But I've lived with this man for seven years. 445 00:16:11,353 --> 00:16:13,286 I think I know how to handle this. 446 00:16:13,388 --> 00:16:15,822 Dad? Family meeting? 447 00:16:15,857 --> 00:16:18,241 Sophie, honey, please do not worry about me. 448 00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:19,676 I am going to be fine. 449 00:16:19,711 --> 00:16:21,260 Plus, I learned a valuable lesson. 450 00:16:21,346 --> 00:16:23,363 - Which is? - Stick to what I know. 451 00:16:23,431 --> 00:16:25,098 Is it for my sake? 452 00:16:25,166 --> 00:16:26,666 Have I been holding you back? 453 00:16:26,768 --> 00:16:29,736 What? Sophie. No way. 454 00:16:29,804 --> 00:16:32,405 I would not trade all these years at home with you 455 00:16:32,507 --> 00:16:33,773 for anything in the world. 456 00:16:33,842 --> 00:16:36,192 I'm giving up because I don't have what it takes 457 00:16:36,277 --> 00:16:37,643 to be a prime-time weather anchor. 458 00:16:37,712 --> 00:16:40,380 I just... don't have the zazz. 459 00:16:42,484 --> 00:16:46,219 I'm thinking of heading to the park later this afternoon. 460 00:16:46,254 --> 00:16:48,137 What boots do you think I should wear? 461 00:16:48,256 --> 00:16:49,956 That was a very abrupt subject change. 462 00:16:50,024 --> 00:16:51,874 - What just happened? - Indulge me. 463 00:16:51,993 --> 00:16:53,826 Okay, well, if you're really going, 464 00:16:53,928 --> 00:16:54,861 uh, it rained yesterday, 465 00:16:54,963 --> 00:16:56,162 so there's definitely gonna be mud. 466 00:16:56,231 --> 00:16:58,164 So I'm thinking boots with a tread. 467 00:16:58,233 --> 00:16:59,365 I'd say something rubber, 468 00:16:59,434 --> 00:17:01,434 just in case that precipitation comes back. 469 00:17:01,503 --> 00:17:03,636 And now I'm thinking windbreaker. 470 00:17:03,738 --> 00:17:05,338 - Something with a hood, like... - Dad. 471 00:17:05,407 --> 00:17:06,823 Are you hearing yourself? 472 00:17:06,908 --> 00:17:08,941 Yeah, I was just about to ramp up on Gore-Tex 473 00:17:09,043 --> 00:17:10,209 and go deep on dew. 474 00:17:10,278 --> 00:17:11,677 Right. Because your dad skills 475 00:17:11,746 --> 00:17:14,275 include delivering a weather forecast every day. 476 00:17:14,337 --> 00:17:15,281 To me. 477 00:17:15,350 --> 00:17:17,917 Well, yeah, but I just want you to know what you're in for. 478 00:17:17,986 --> 00:17:21,104 And I do. Because every morning when I'm picking out my boots, 479 00:17:21,222 --> 00:17:24,557 you do a full 15 minutes on wind speeds, 480 00:17:24,626 --> 00:17:28,027 humidity, what time I should expect the sunset. 481 00:17:28,096 --> 00:17:30,830 And all that could be boring. But with you, it's not. 482 00:17:30,899 --> 00:17:34,000 You make it fun and interesting and weird. 483 00:17:34,068 --> 00:17:36,803 Why don't you just do that in your audition? 484 00:17:36,905 --> 00:17:38,271 Can't you just be you? 485 00:17:41,209 --> 00:17:44,043 Fun fact: Hasn't been this hot since June 1990 486 00:17:44,129 --> 00:17:46,646 when temps soared to 112. 487 00:17:46,681 --> 00:17:48,848 Hot. Tss! Do not touch. 488 00:17:48,950 --> 00:17:50,983 Uh, that's all for now. You stay cool, L.A. 489 00:17:51,085 --> 00:17:52,351 I'm Will Coop with your weather scoop. 490 00:17:52,454 --> 00:17:53,453 Back to you. 491 00:17:53,521 --> 00:17:55,922 Will, you did it. I'm so proud of you. 492 00:17:55,990 --> 00:17:57,156 You were great, Daddy. 493 00:17:57,242 --> 00:17:59,625 I felt that heat! 494 00:17:59,727 --> 00:18:00,626 Good job! 495 00:18:00,678 --> 00:18:02,328 High praise. How was the hair? 496 00:18:02,397 --> 00:18:03,496 We're close. It's getting there. 497 00:18:03,598 --> 00:18:06,165 That was really nice work, Cooper. 498 00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:07,550 Ah, thank you, Tracy. 499 00:18:07,635 --> 00:18:09,435 Thank you so much for letting me come and do this in person. 500 00:18:09,537 --> 00:18:11,337 Well, you barged in, so I didn't really have a choice. 501 00:18:11,439 --> 00:18:13,306 - Mm-hmm. - But I liked what I saw. 502 00:18:13,374 --> 00:18:15,208 Well, I couldn't have done it without my team. 503 00:18:15,293 --> 00:18:18,044 We got Rory guiding the performance, Miggy on hair, 504 00:18:18,096 --> 00:18:19,295 - Poppy leading me in... - Hey. 505 00:18:19,380 --> 00:18:20,480 ...and Sophie... 506 00:18:20,548 --> 00:18:22,532 I pretty much couldn't do anything without Sophie. 507 00:18:22,617 --> 00:18:24,851 - Aww. - Aww. 508 00:18:24,953 --> 00:18:26,035 Y-You know none of these people 509 00:18:26,120 --> 00:18:27,220 can come to work with you every day? 510 00:18:27,322 --> 00:18:28,888 Not a problem. Two of them have school. 511 00:18:28,923 --> 00:18:29,989 She runs a business. 512 00:18:30,058 --> 00:18:31,974 - Miggy would probably come... - Yes! Free pass. 513 00:18:32,060 --> 00:18:34,026 Wait. I got the job?! 514 00:18:34,062 --> 00:18:36,929 Yes, you are KZOP's newest substitute weatherman. 515 00:18:37,031 --> 00:18:39,448 Sunday mornings, as needed, 5:00 to 7:00 a.m. 516 00:18:39,567 --> 00:18:40,933 Your audience will mostly be pets 517 00:18:41,035 --> 00:18:42,902 who step on remote controls. 518 00:18:42,987 --> 00:18:46,122 Uh... um... 519 00:18:46,207 --> 00:18:48,124 that... sounds... 520 00:18:48,243 --> 00:18:49,125 awesome! 521 00:18:49,244 --> 00:18:51,627 I accept! 522 00:18:51,746 --> 00:18:52,879 Oh, man! 523 00:18:52,964 --> 00:18:54,947 Willy Cooper coming to a city near you! 524 00:18:54,999 --> 00:18:56,712 Well, it's only L.A., and you'll barely be on TV. 525 00:18:56,797 --> 00:18:59,635 Okay, staying put for a select group! I'm honored! 526 00:18:59,754 --> 00:19:01,420 - Willy Coop! - Oh! 527 00:19:01,506 --> 00:19:02,755 Willy Coop! 528 00:19:02,841 --> 00:19:04,640 - Come on! - Willy Coop! 529 00:19:04,759 --> 00:19:06,862 But seriously, none of you can ever come to work. 530 00:19:06,924 --> 00:19:08,370 - Willy C.! - Okay? Like, ever. 531 00:19:08,449 --> 00:19:09,987 Willy C.! 532 00:19:10,878 --> 00:19:12,603 Okay, smile. 533 00:19:14,127 --> 00:19:17,029 This is the original, uncut "Mystery Señorita." 534 00:19:17,123 --> 00:19:19,914 Huh. Oh, it's 43 minutes long? I'm not watching that. 535 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:21,249 Hey. 536 00:19:21,334 --> 00:19:23,468 Hey. Congrats on your new job. 537 00:19:23,587 --> 00:19:25,136 Thanks. Congrats on the new 'stache. 538 00:19:25,255 --> 00:19:26,638 I'm glad you finally made it through puberty. 539 00:19:26,756 --> 00:19:28,956 Funny. You know, I heard there's an audition tape of you 540 00:19:29,059 --> 00:19:31,342 floating around where you're real bitchy about rain. 541 00:19:31,428 --> 00:19:33,311 Good luck finding the Pink Panther. 542 00:19:33,430 --> 00:19:35,597 We got this for you. We're sorry, Graham. 543 00:19:35,682 --> 00:19:38,433 Is this actually happening? 544 00:19:38,518 --> 00:19:39,601 Am I cool?! 545 00:19:42,522 --> 00:19:45,156 I think you were right about that whole pack thing, 546 00:19:45,275 --> 00:19:49,193 though I've actually always looked at myself as a lone wolf. 547 00:19:49,279 --> 00:19:50,578 Well, for better or worse, you've got us. 548 00:19:50,664 --> 00:19:52,280 And, God forbid, something ever happens, 549 00:19:52,365 --> 00:19:54,115 we'll take care of your girls. 550 00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:56,317 Just try to watch the red-meat intake, okay? 551 00:19:56,419 --> 00:19:58,169 Yeah, that's not gonna happen. 552 00:19:59,089 --> 00:20:01,039 - What's this? - My apology. 553 00:20:01,124 --> 00:20:03,541 Do what you feel is right. 554 00:20:03,627 --> 00:20:05,176 I'm gonna write "butts." 555 00:20:05,295 --> 00:20:07,045 Honestly, I expected worse. 556 00:20:10,767 --> 00:20:12,717 Okay, give me a nice, big smile. 557 00:20:12,802 --> 00:20:13,968 Don't get your hopes up, lady. 558 00:20:14,054 --> 00:20:16,837 Many have tried. All have failed. 559 00:20:16,940 --> 00:20:18,940 Oh, my God! "Butts"?! 560 00:20:18,975 --> 00:20:21,059 One, two, three. 561 00:20:22,228 --> 00:20:24,896 Wait. Did I just smile for real? 562 00:20:25,815 --> 00:20:27,925 - Yes! - Okay, wait just a minute. 563 00:20:27,972 --> 00:20:30,144 One more with the, uh, the group and everything. 564 00:20:30,214 --> 00:20:31,519 Oh, my God, Will. It's happening. 565 00:20:31,621 --> 00:20:32,847 Your hair is perfect right now. 566 00:20:32,917 --> 00:20:33,988 This is how it always looks. 567 00:20:34,074 --> 00:20:35,523 - No, no, no, no. Dude, trust me. - No, it looks good. 568 00:20:35,625 --> 00:20:36,991 Hey, yo, yo, yo! Take this pic right now 569 00:20:37,077 --> 00:20:38,025 before it changes. Come on. 570 00:20:38,128 --> 00:20:39,661 So you want a random group shot? 571 00:20:39,746 --> 00:20:41,546 You're taking someone else's time, you know. 572 00:20:41,665 --> 00:20:43,030 Right. Time is money. 573 00:20:43,133 --> 00:20:45,333 Get yourself something. 574 00:20:46,503 --> 00:20:47,752 And this isn't random. 575 00:20:47,837 --> 00:20:49,137 This is my pack. 576 00:20:49,222 --> 00:20:52,507 But I'm only doing this once, so nobody blink. 577 00:20:52,592 --> 00:20:54,407 Everyone say "zazz"! 578 00:20:54,469 --> 00:20:56,165 Zazz! 579 00:20:56,242 --> 00:20:57,766 Not saying it. 580 00:20:57,844 --> 00:21:02,844 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com