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Welcome to Will Cooper's 2018
Spook-tacular Spook-A-Thon.
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1-2-3... lights!
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- Only, imagine it's nighttime.
- Okay, I should be somewhere else.
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- I cancelled a patient for this.
- You said this was an emergency.
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Hey, guys, there's only eight more hours
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until my spook-tacular bash begins,
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so there's still time for improvement.
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But let's keep it in the world
of tweaks, okay? No big ideas.
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Okay, as much as I'd love
to talk lighting tweaks,
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I have to get to the office.
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With a bag of furry pipe cleaners?
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I haven't finished
sewing Graham's costume yet.
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He's really picky.
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He has to wear something terrifying
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or else he's too scared
to go trick-or-treating,
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so now I'm stuck sewing
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a giant black widow spider
under my desk.
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Why can't he be scared of
normal things like dying alone?
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- Yes.
- That's a great story.
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- Ugh. It's not her.
- Ooh. Who's her?
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April 16th, Giuseppe's
Italian, I was waiting for a cab...
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April 16th, Giuseppe's Italian,
I was waiting for a cab.
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Beep-beep! Move it or lose it!
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What are you...
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Oh, no problem. I got it.
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That's the way the cookie crumbles.
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Ohhh, Daddy likes.
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I ran after that car
for eight blocks like a dog,
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but she got away.
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Big Red was gone.
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Douglas, that was beautiful...
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- So stupid.
- Chauvinistic dumbass.
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You know what? I'm a rich doctor.
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I need none of you.
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Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
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Man, my first Halloween as a dad!
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It's crazy, this time last year,
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the gummies had just kicked in,
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and I threw up in a corn maze.
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Dude, there's so much fun stuff to do.
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Sophie and I, we always dress up
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in a daddy-daughter costume
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and then we try to out-scare each other.
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- It's the best.
- I am hyped.
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I promised my baby mama, Zara,
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I'd send a pic of Jack in his costume.
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She's gonna love it.
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I should probably go buy that, huh?
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Dad?
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Hey, Miggy. Have you seen my...
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Raaaaah!
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Ahhhhhhh...?
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I know that wasn't real,
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but I appreciate the effort.
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Who's ready for
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their daddy-daughter costume?
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'Tis I,
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politician, freemason,
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and humorist, Benjamin Franklin.
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And you look just about
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the same size as my kite!
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Poppy!
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Are you a street walker?
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All right, save it, Quaker Oats guy.
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Rory, we said keep it simple.
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Every second
we're explaining our costumes
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is a second we're not getting candy.
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Duh, "Pretty Woman." I'm Edward Lewis.
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My mom is Julia Roberts' friend
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and story engine, Kit De Luca.
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Do the line.
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"We say who, we say when,
we say how much."
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Seriously? Nothing?
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Okay, okay, smart people will get this.
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So, girls, what are your costumes?
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I guess you can't recognize
Simon and Theodore
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without Alvin.
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Well, then it looks like
you'll be trick-or-treating
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in unrecognizable costumes.
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You knew this gambit would fail.
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Are you kidding me?
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Douglas, your girls wanted
to do a group costume,
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and you said no?
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I believe I said, "Get out of the car.
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You're walking home,"
but the no was implied.
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You don't get to say "no."
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You think I wanted to be
an early-'90s prostitute?
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- I own a feminist bookstore.
- It's not the same.
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A mom in a Halloween costume
with her kids looks cute,
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but no self-respecting man
dresses up in a child's costume.
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No? What about Will?
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I said "self-respecting."
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You know, the way I see it,
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Will is secure enough in
his manhood to wear a costume,
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while big Dr. Douglas isn't.
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So, girls, who's the bigger man
this Halloween...
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Will or your dad?
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- Will, easy.
- Cooper by a mile.
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- Give me the damn sweater.
- Uh-huh.
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Ang!
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The spook-tacular bash has boo-gun!
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Cool. Listen.
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I have to work late tonight.
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I-I just heard Rick yell,
"Buckle up, bitches!"
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What? Just tell your boss you need to
go trick- or-treating with Graham.
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No. What? I can't tell him that
I have to leave for mom stuff.
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Then he'll start
treating me differently.
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You're afraid you're gonna be
treated like a mom?
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- I don't understand.
- Of course you don't. You're a man.
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Then, why do I always feel so cold?
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What's up, Big Dubs?
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Hey, Lil G!
Just talking to your mom here.
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God, she's a wonderful woman.
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Can't wait to see the costume, Mom!
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Tell Graham I'm on my way.
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God, I was really hoping
this would be the one year
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I don't have to put on a costume
behind the wheel.
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See you soon.
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Your mom's pretty great.
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You're telling me.
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She's my rock.
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Hey, Rick? Hi.
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Um, is it all right if I... go?
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I have a... personal matter.
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Yeah. Go.
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Take care of your personal matter.
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I'll just give all
your case work to somebody
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who takes their career
a little more seriously.
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My best friend was murdered.
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Will.
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So, yeah, I got to catch a flight.
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It's a destination funeral.
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God, Will.
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Why'd you have to look in that Dumpster?
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What Dumpster?
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Hey, Dad.
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Why, hello, little girl.
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Where's your costume?
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I have a new friend from school coming.
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Carol's a second grader
and not real big on Halloween.
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So could we maybe... dial it back?
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Dial it back.
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Um... yeah, yeah.
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I, uh... I-I-I-I think we could do that.
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I-I get it. I see what's happening.
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You grew up overnight, and now
you hang out with older girls,
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and I went from being
your best friend to an old man
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who lives in your house
who you wish would just die!
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Dad, is this the start of a thing?
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No.
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No, I'm just processing.
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Uh, I'll definitely dial it back,
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take it from a ten
to a nine and a half...
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- Five?
- Why don't you just make it one?!
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I'm totally good. I'm fine.
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Hi.
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- I'm fine.
- Oh. Okay.
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God, these shoes are killing me.
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If I was a real prostitute,
I'd be home on my computer.
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This is so humiliating.
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It's the low point of my life.
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I look like the world's biggest tool.
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No, you look like a great dad.
Now come on.
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You gotta stand together
for the costumes to make sense.
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Yeah, heaven forbid
the costumes don't make sense.
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Trick or treat!
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Oh, my God. That's Big Red.
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Okay, kids, chop chop. I gotta tinkle.
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Hello. You're stunning.
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I'm...
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A giant chipmunk in a onesie!
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That's adorable.
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Wiggle your nose, chipmunk.
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Wiggle your nose.
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Oh, that's good.
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That's good.
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Well, she got the costume, so you can...
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feel good about that.
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Okay.
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Let's go, guys.
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Hey, Graham.
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I'm really sorry that I'm late,
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but I'm really excited
to go trick-or-treating.
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How do you feel?
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Honestly? I'm hanging on by a thread.
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You got this. Okay?
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Especially from inside
the super terrifying
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black widow...
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body?
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Oh, no.
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I left the legs at work.
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We have to get them!
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I can't go back.
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I already told my boss
that Will got mur...
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it's complicated, work stuff.
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A no-leg spider isn't scary!
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It can't walk!
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It's a goner!
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Oh, no, no. No. That's even scarier.
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'Cause he's got nothing
left to lose, right?
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No? Okay.
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I-I-I'm just gonna
throw together a new costume.
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I can do that.
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Mom's got this.
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Meow!
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Hey. You made it.
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So, you told your boss the truth?
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Isn't honesty the best...
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Whatever. I lied my ass off.
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Now I need to find Graham a new costume.
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What are you doing? Why are you
taking down your decorations?
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Sophie's second grade friend,
Carol, is coming over,
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so I'm toning it down.
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Angie, I'm not ready
to be the parent of a tween.
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That is a world
of nail polish and scrunchies
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and starter bras,
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and how am I gonna talk to her
about any of that stuff?
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Well, step 1 is being able
to say the word "bra" out loud.
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And anyway, it's fine.
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You'll figure out how to talk to her.
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Counterpoint: no, it's not,
and no, I won't.
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But if Sophie needs me to dial it down,
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I can handle that.
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For my baby girl, I can handle anything.
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'Sup. Sophie here?
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00:08:16,738 --> 00:08:18,271
I'm Carol.
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Oh, dip.
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Carol's a man.
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00:08:25,915 --> 00:08:29,310
Ooh! Graham can be a skeleton
with spatula hands
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who takes...
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multivitamins for ladies over 60.
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- Why do you have these?
- Carol is a guy.
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Sophie is hanging out with older boys.
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And you know how I like everyone, right?
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Well, I do not like this kid,
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and I am pretty sure
he does not like me.
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Me, I'm just kind of over
the whole Halloween thing.
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Don't get me wrong. I'm not anti.
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But you want something scary?
Read the news.
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Yuk it up.
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This is the kind of complacency
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that got us where we are.
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Have you tried being nice?
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Of course I tried being nice.
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I'm Will. I take off my shoes
anywhere there's carpet.
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00:09:01,888 --> 00:09:04,021
I gave this kid my all!
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Can I get you anything, Carol?
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00:09:05,892 --> 00:09:07,024
Are you a candy man?
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00:09:07,093 --> 00:09:09,093
Dad, Carol prefers soft cheese.
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00:09:09,162 --> 00:09:10,728
Anything French with a tang.
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00:09:10,830 --> 00:09:12,063
Okay.
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00:09:12,132 --> 00:09:15,299
I will get my seven-year-old
daughter and her male companion
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00:09:15,401 --> 00:09:16,768
some cheese.
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00:09:16,836 --> 00:09:18,569
I just... I'm not ready
for this, okay? What do I do?
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00:09:18,671 --> 00:09:19,737
You calm down, okay?
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00:09:19,806 --> 00:09:22,039
Because you can't stop Sophie
from growing up.
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She's going to, no matter what.
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Now, if you'll excuse me,
259
00:09:25,178 --> 00:09:26,677
I really need to find
a new scary costume
260
00:09:26,780 --> 00:09:28,412
because I left the spider legs
at work and I lied
261
00:09:28,481 --> 00:09:30,014
and told my boss that my best
friend, Will, got murdered.
262
00:09:30,116 --> 00:09:31,249
I'm your best friend?
263
00:09:31,351 --> 00:09:32,483
And I got murdered?
264
00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:35,086
Look, I'm sure you have
given this a ton of thought,
265
00:09:35,155 --> 00:09:37,088
but is it not much simpler
to just go back to work
266
00:09:37,157 --> 00:09:38,959
and tell your boss
that your son needs you?
267
00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:40,057
You don't get it.
268
00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:41,425
If I play the "mom card,"
269
00:09:41,528 --> 00:09:43,828
suddenly I'm this sad, single lady
270
00:09:43,897 --> 00:09:45,863
who's gonna need to come in late
and take time off
271
00:09:45,932 --> 00:09:46,998
and then start asking
272
00:09:47,066 --> 00:09:49,066
if my kid can come in and sell cookies.
273
00:09:49,169 --> 00:09:50,701
"Don't feel pressured to buy some."
274
00:09:50,770 --> 00:09:52,403
Oh, but they will
feel pressured to buy some.
275
00:09:52,472 --> 00:09:54,438
I always buy some. I buy a lot.
276
00:09:54,507 --> 00:09:55,740
And I'm scared to lose my job,
277
00:09:55,809 --> 00:09:57,975
but I'm scared if I don't lose my job
278
00:09:58,044 --> 00:09:59,477
then I'm not gonna be there for Graham.
279
00:09:59,579 --> 00:10:02,580
Angie, c'mon, you're doing great, okay?
280
00:10:02,682 --> 00:10:04,048
Certainly much better than me.
281
00:10:04,150 --> 00:10:05,249
I got murdered, remember?
282
00:10:05,351 --> 00:10:06,317
Ooh.
283
00:10:06,386 --> 00:10:08,853
I think I just found Graham's costume.
284
00:10:08,922 --> 00:10:10,521
And it is terrifying.
285
00:10:10,590 --> 00:10:11,956
Ha ha. Yes, it's a shower cap.
286
00:10:12,025 --> 00:10:13,658
Sometimes I don't have time to shampoo.
287
00:10:13,726 --> 00:10:16,294
Hey, uh, guys, I got a problem.
288
00:10:16,396 --> 00:10:17,461
Wow.
289
00:10:17,564 --> 00:10:18,963
Yeah, um, everything was sold out,
290
00:10:19,032 --> 00:10:20,198
so I had to mix and match.
291
00:10:20,300 --> 00:10:22,567
Okay, so it's Orphan Annie on top...
292
00:10:22,669 --> 00:10:24,302
and dog body on the bottom?
293
00:10:24,370 --> 00:10:25,269
No good?
294
00:10:25,371 --> 00:10:26,737
I spent 110 bucks!
295
00:10:26,806 --> 00:10:27,839
Oh.
296
00:10:27,907 --> 00:10:28,940
Oh.
297
00:10:29,008 --> 00:10:30,107
Hey, Zara.
298
00:10:30,210 --> 00:10:31,542
Oh, you told all your friends?
299
00:10:31,611 --> 00:10:34,846
And they're super excited
to see our adorable baby.
300
00:10:34,948 --> 00:10:37,014
That's great. Very great. That's, uh...
301
00:10:37,083 --> 00:10:38,182
Sorry. Got to go.
302
00:10:38,251 --> 00:10:41,194
Will's on fire again,
so gotta put that out.
303
00:10:41,264 --> 00:10:42,887
"Again"?
304
00:10:42,956 --> 00:10:44,689
- Move it, Rory!
- We're cleaning up!
305
00:10:44,757 --> 00:10:46,791
Okay, we get it. You're upset.
306
00:10:46,893 --> 00:10:48,526
No, I'm not upset.
307
00:10:48,628 --> 00:10:49,727
I'm... I'm more like...
308
00:10:51,898 --> 00:10:53,598
That! I'm more that!
309
00:10:53,666 --> 00:10:56,334
Why are you losing your mind
over this? She's just a woman.
310
00:10:56,436 --> 00:10:58,169
She's not just a woman.
311
00:10:58,271 --> 00:10:59,503
She's my white whale!
312
00:10:59,572 --> 00:11:01,706
So she saw you in a costume. Big deal.
313
00:11:01,808 --> 00:11:03,507
Women aren't so hung up on appearances.
314
00:11:03,610 --> 00:11:04,742
And plus...
315
00:11:04,844 --> 00:11:06,444
wasn't Alvin the one
that got the most ass?
316
00:11:06,546 --> 00:11:07,678
Let me tell you something.
317
00:11:07,780 --> 00:11:10,915
Women are exactly as shallow as men.
318
00:11:10,984 --> 00:11:13,851
And a first impression like that
i-i-is a stain
319
00:11:13,953 --> 00:11:15,319
that'll never wash off.
320
00:11:15,388 --> 00:11:18,556
Once a weasel in a muumuu,
always a weasel in a muumuu.
321
00:11:18,658 --> 00:11:20,958
Hmm. So, once women get their
minds made up on one thing,
322
00:11:21,027 --> 00:11:22,793
it's burned there for all time,
never to change.
323
00:11:22,862 --> 00:11:24,328
Okay, see, now you're talking sense.
324
00:11:24,397 --> 00:11:25,696
Where was that an hour ago?
325
00:11:25,798 --> 00:11:27,298
Alvinnnn!
326
00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:29,367
Cram it, Bill!
327
00:11:29,469 --> 00:11:31,035
Douglas, can we go?
328
00:11:35,842 --> 00:11:38,042
Wow. Wow, cute baby.
329
00:11:38,144 --> 00:11:39,710
Great costume.
330
00:11:39,779 --> 00:11:41,245
Any chance maybe I could borrow it?
331
00:11:41,347 --> 00:11:42,914
- No.
- Oh.
332
00:11:42,982 --> 00:11:45,268
Well, then your baby
can't have this costume.
333
00:11:45,323 --> 00:11:46,484
What's up?
334
00:11:46,552 --> 00:11:49,186
Okay, get ready because
you will be scaring people
335
00:11:49,289 --> 00:11:51,856
to the verge of a pants-pee as...
336
00:11:51,958 --> 00:11:53,557
Boom!
337
00:11:53,660 --> 00:11:55,326
The great, floating,
338
00:11:55,395 --> 00:11:58,329
Texas-size garbage patch of the Pacific!
339
00:11:59,532 --> 00:12:00,898
Okay, so...
340
00:12:00,967 --> 00:12:04,802
there's this plastic trash
island floating in the Pacific.
341
00:12:04,904 --> 00:12:05,937
It's the size of Texas,
342
00:12:06,039 --> 00:12:07,638
and a lot of people
might not be aware of it,
343
00:12:07,740 --> 00:12:09,507
so I have printed out
this HuffPo article
344
00:12:09,609 --> 00:12:11,575
you can carry around
and let people read.
345
00:12:11,644 --> 00:12:13,311
What do you think?
346
00:12:14,814 --> 00:12:17,014
It's a great effort, Mom.
347
00:12:17,116 --> 00:12:19,216
You get used to the smell pretty quick.
348
00:12:19,285 --> 00:12:20,351
- Mm.
- But...
349
00:12:20,453 --> 00:12:22,586
I-I don't really need
to go trick-or-treating.
350
00:12:24,057 --> 00:12:26,691
I'm sorry I asked you
to go back to work.
351
00:12:26,793 --> 00:12:28,526
I know it's complicated.
352
00:12:28,561 --> 00:12:31,429
Your job comes first.
353
00:12:34,167 --> 00:12:35,299
No, it doesn't.
354
00:12:36,736 --> 00:12:39,003
You strap that spider body on.
355
00:12:39,105 --> 00:12:41,906
I'm coming back with legs.
356
00:12:46,412 --> 00:12:48,312
I'm a trash island.
357
00:12:48,381 --> 00:12:49,547
No one.
358
00:12:49,649 --> 00:12:51,949
Not one person got my costume.
359
00:12:52,051 --> 00:12:54,552
Someone called me Benson.
360
00:12:54,654 --> 00:12:56,487
Hey. Wondering where I've been?
361
00:12:56,556 --> 00:12:57,655
No.
362
00:12:57,724 --> 00:13:00,157
I knew you were gone, and it was nice.
363
00:13:00,226 --> 00:13:02,059
You're a hard man not to punch.
364
00:13:02,161 --> 00:13:03,761
I was out making a friend.
365
00:13:03,830 --> 00:13:05,997
You think women are too shallow
to see past a costume?
366
00:13:06,065 --> 00:13:06,964
Well, you're wrong.
367
00:13:07,033 --> 00:13:08,833
And to help me prove it...
368
00:13:10,636 --> 00:13:12,670
- Hi, there.
- Uh, hello.
369
00:13:12,772 --> 00:13:14,805
This is Dr. Douglas Fogerty.
370
00:13:14,874 --> 00:13:16,507
Botox king of Beverly Hills
371
00:13:16,609 --> 00:13:18,209
and world's most handsome caveman.
372
00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:21,912
It's a pleasure to meet you.
373
00:13:22,015 --> 00:13:23,080
Again.
374
00:13:23,182 --> 00:13:24,315
Likewise.
375
00:13:26,786 --> 00:13:28,719
- Scram.
- Okay.
376
00:13:29,989 --> 00:13:31,055
You're radiant.
377
00:13:32,291 --> 00:13:33,157
Yeah.
378
00:13:34,727 --> 00:13:37,228
There he is... Carol the cheese man.
379
00:13:37,330 --> 00:13:38,729
Per your request, six varieties
380
00:13:38,831 --> 00:13:40,998
of soft, tangy, French cheeses.
381
00:13:41,067 --> 00:13:44,201
I prefer my cheese after a meal.
382
00:13:44,270 --> 00:13:45,669
Happy Halloween, Carol.
383
00:13:45,738 --> 00:13:48,172
Hey. Just ran into your buddy.
384
00:13:48,241 --> 00:13:51,142
Seemed intent, as always,
on bringing down the mood.
385
00:13:51,210 --> 00:13:52,309
He's going home.
386
00:13:52,412 --> 00:13:54,812
So good news, you can go nuts
387
00:13:54,914 --> 00:13:56,847
and do all the crazy
Halloween stuff you love.
388
00:13:56,949 --> 00:13:58,149
Hey, hey, hey. Wait a second.
389
00:13:58,251 --> 00:13:59,417
Why is he leaving?
390
00:13:59,519 --> 00:14:02,186
He said he wanted to go because...
391
00:14:02,288 --> 00:14:03,788
he thinks I'm a baby.
392
00:14:03,890 --> 00:14:07,058
Dad, why do you think
he doesn't like me?
393
00:14:09,395 --> 00:14:12,463
I honestly don't know, my love.
394
00:14:12,532 --> 00:14:13,898
Probably 'cause he's crazy.
395
00:14:15,234 --> 00:14:18,102
I wish I had a better answer,
but sometimes
396
00:14:18,204 --> 00:14:20,404
the people you like don't like you back,
397
00:14:20,506 --> 00:14:22,373
and it hurts.
398
00:14:22,475 --> 00:14:25,109
But that kid is nuts,
399
00:14:25,211 --> 00:14:26,444
'cause you're perfect.
400
00:14:28,014 --> 00:14:30,815
Plus, he's got a dumb name.
And I don't want that for you.
401
00:14:32,952 --> 00:14:35,252
I'm sorry we missed Halloween.
402
00:14:35,354 --> 00:14:37,354
We didn't even get to do a big scare.
403
00:14:37,457 --> 00:14:39,390
- Mm.
- It's okay.
404
00:14:39,492 --> 00:14:40,658
I'll just go to bed.
405
00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:42,660
Or...
406
00:14:42,762 --> 00:14:45,362
you help me dial this Halloween
back up to eleven
407
00:14:45,465 --> 00:14:47,698
and we show Carol who the real baby is.
408
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:49,266
What do you say you and I
409
00:14:49,368 --> 00:14:51,635
go scare the living crap
out of that kid?
410
00:14:51,737 --> 00:14:53,504
Think we could make him cry?
411
00:14:53,606 --> 00:14:55,506
I'll be disappointed if we don't.
412
00:15:01,881 --> 00:15:04,615
Hey, how's it going, Mary?
You having fun?
413
00:15:10,418 --> 00:15:12,871
Nah, Baer left for private
practice a long time ago.
414
00:15:12,941 --> 00:15:14,276
We just haven't changed the signs yet.
415
00:15:14,301 --> 00:15:15,204
That's quite surprising.
416
00:15:15,252 --> 00:15:17,319
Hey. What are you doing?
417
00:15:17,515 --> 00:15:18,814
Shouldn't you be on a flight?
418
00:15:18,883 --> 00:15:20,816
But you're here dressed as a cat?
419
00:15:20,918 --> 00:15:22,551
Am I?
420
00:15:22,620 --> 00:15:24,291
Oh. Wow.
421
00:15:24,395 --> 00:15:25,460
That's weird.
422
00:15:26,861 --> 00:15:29,162
Actually, you know what?
423
00:15:30,862 --> 00:15:32,437
There is no flight.
424
00:15:32,864 --> 00:15:36,499
And I'm dressed like a cat
because it's Halloween.
425
00:15:36,601 --> 00:15:38,934
And I don't talk about him much, but...
426
00:15:39,036 --> 00:15:40,640
I have a seven-year-old.
427
00:15:40,705 --> 00:15:42,077
And he's scared of everything...
428
00:15:42,140 --> 00:15:44,473
fake plants, large shoes,
429
00:15:44,542 --> 00:15:46,632
empty shopping carts,
adults with braces.
430
00:15:46,679 --> 00:15:47,977
Sometimes he needs me.
431
00:15:48,045 --> 00:15:50,187
Sometimes, when you think
I'm in the copy room,
432
00:15:50,257 --> 00:15:52,681
I'm actually FaceTiming him
from a bathroom stall.
433
00:15:52,750 --> 00:15:55,584
Most of the time, I get by just fine.
434
00:15:55,653 --> 00:15:59,755
Other times, I need to be
in two places at once,
435
00:15:59,824 --> 00:16:02,725
and I lie about my friend Will
getting murdered.
436
00:16:02,793 --> 00:16:06,495
Look, if you need to fire me...
437
00:16:06,597 --> 00:16:08,664
go ahead.
438
00:16:08,733 --> 00:16:11,133
But my son's waiting for me.
439
00:16:11,202 --> 00:16:15,471
And I left him in a bathroom
wearing a garbage poncho.
440
00:16:15,573 --> 00:16:17,906
Wait, so there was nothing
in the Dumpster?
441
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:26,517
Okay, that's his window.
442
00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:31,622
You know, last year,
443
00:16:31,691 --> 00:16:33,558
you would've been too young
to do something like this,
444
00:16:33,626 --> 00:16:36,294
so I guess getting older's not all bad.
445
00:16:37,597 --> 00:16:39,564
- Let's light him up!
- Yeah!
446
00:16:39,632 --> 00:16:41,032
Okay, guys. Everyone set?
447
00:16:41,134 --> 00:16:42,667
Good to go.
448
00:16:42,769 --> 00:16:43,901
Locked and loaded.
449
00:16:45,738 --> 00:16:48,139
Hold on. Are you filling those
squirt guns with fake blood?
450
00:16:50,043 --> 00:16:52,210
Sure. Fake.
451
00:16:52,278 --> 00:16:53,711
Smoke team, check.
452
00:16:53,813 --> 00:16:55,246
Let's roll out.
453
00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:07,058
How you feeling, Spider-Graham?
454
00:17:07,127 --> 00:17:08,392
I can't feel my legs.
455
00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:10,328
Well, four of them are fake.
456
00:17:10,396 --> 00:17:12,063
Oh, thank God.
457
00:17:12,165 --> 00:17:14,465
Listen, Graham.
458
00:17:14,567 --> 00:17:15,900
I know you're scared right now.
459
00:17:16,002 --> 00:17:18,803
But, you know, sometimes
when we face our fears,
460
00:17:18,905 --> 00:17:20,404
turns out they're not really that scary.
461
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:23,241
Like when I confronted
my fear of turning 27.
462
00:17:23,343 --> 00:17:24,775
Then 28.
463
00:17:24,878 --> 00:17:26,377
Then 29.
464
00:17:26,446 --> 00:17:27,712
And... so on.
465
00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:30,781
And how tonight, I told my boss
that I had to be here
466
00:17:30,884 --> 00:17:33,351
because you are my whole world.
467
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:38,556
So, if you're not ready, we can go home.
468
00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:41,726
We're not going anywhere.
469
00:17:42,695 --> 00:17:44,195
Will? Hoist me.
470
00:17:48,334 --> 00:17:51,702
But topping out at 75 miles per hour,
471
00:17:51,804 --> 00:17:54,872
the cheetah is far and away
the fastest land mammal.
472
00:17:54,974 --> 00:17:57,074
My goodness, you're fascinating.
473
00:17:57,143 --> 00:17:59,277
All that knowledge
and you know Dennis Franz.
474
00:17:59,379 --> 00:18:01,412
- I lasered his ears.
- Huh.
475
00:18:01,514 --> 00:18:03,230
You are exquisite.
476
00:18:03,816 --> 00:18:06,017
Dine with me. Friday.
477
00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:08,452
I'm sorry.
478
00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:09,954
You're handsome, charming.
479
00:18:10,056 --> 00:18:12,023
Ordinarily, so my type.
480
00:18:12,125 --> 00:18:13,991
But in terms of
"honk-honk, hubba-hubba,"
481
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:15,393
I'm just not there.
482
00:18:15,461 --> 00:18:18,262
Something's throwing me,
I can't put my finger on it.
483
00:18:18,364 --> 00:18:21,032
- May I hazard a guess?
- Hmm?
484
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,567
You still see me as a chipmunk.
485
00:18:22,635 --> 00:18:25,002
Yes, that's it.
486
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:26,737
Now I can't get it out of my head.
487
00:18:26,839 --> 00:18:28,706
I mean, if I were to date an animal,
488
00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:30,041
it'd be like a deer or something.
489
00:18:30,143 --> 00:18:31,742
I understand.
490
00:18:31,844 --> 00:18:34,345
- I blame my children.
- Mm-hmm.
491
00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:35,646
Mnh.
492
00:18:35,748 --> 00:18:37,515
Excuse me one sec.
493
00:18:37,584 --> 00:18:39,350
Hold up. You're gonna
walk away from this man
494
00:18:39,419 --> 00:18:41,519
because he dressed
like a chipmunk for his kids?
495
00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:44,222
I'm not a great person.
496
00:18:45,158 --> 00:18:48,693
Oh, well. Big mistake! Big! Huge!
497
00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:50,361
And I know, Kit doesn't say that
in the movie,
498
00:18:50,430 --> 00:18:51,963
but she does tonight!
499
00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:56,067
What? It's not about you.
It's the principle.
500
00:19:25,759 --> 00:19:28,266
I'm a big, scary spider!
501
00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:32,203
And there's a Texas trash island
in the ocean!
502
00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:38,801
- Way to go, Graham!
- Yes!
503
00:19:38,864 --> 00:19:40,270
Amazing!
504
00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:42,480
Mom! Dad! Help!
505
00:19:42,582 --> 00:19:44,282
- We should go.
- Yeah.
506
00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:46,217
Oh. Okay.
507
00:19:47,987 --> 00:19:50,021
Hey! What's wrong with you?!
508
00:19:50,123 --> 00:19:52,890
You're sneaking into my yard
to scare an eight-year-old boy?
509
00:19:52,992 --> 00:19:54,959
To be fair, he started it.
510
00:19:55,762 --> 00:19:57,286
You're adults!
511
00:19:57,364 --> 00:19:59,063
You came here for some stupid prank,
512
00:19:59,165 --> 00:20:00,898
roping in a bunch of children,
513
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,234
one of whom you've dressed up
as Edward Lewis.
514
00:20:03,336 --> 00:20:05,069
She got it.
515
00:20:05,171 --> 00:20:07,405
Someone got it.
516
00:20:07,507 --> 00:20:08,739
Look, ma'am...
517
00:20:16,264 --> 00:20:17,771
Why is candy so much sweeter
518
00:20:17,849 --> 00:20:19,349
when it's stolen from children?
519
00:20:19,419 --> 00:20:20,839
Ooh, a text from my boss.
520
00:20:20,948 --> 00:20:22,748
I have to get back
and finish the briefs.
521
00:20:22,843 --> 00:20:25,243
- Good news, I'm not fired.
- Stupendous news!
522
00:20:25,346 --> 00:20:27,437
I have to go back to Paris,
where I'll become
523
00:20:27,499 --> 00:20:30,082
the first United States
ambassador to France.
524
00:20:30,184 --> 00:20:31,216
I know Halloween's done,
525
00:20:31,318 --> 00:20:32,751
but honestly, this guy did everything.
526
00:20:33,988 --> 00:20:35,787
So big. So red.
527
00:20:35,889 --> 00:20:37,255
And so outta her damn mind.
528
00:20:37,358 --> 00:20:39,625
If she can't recognize something
great when she sees it, her loss.
529
00:20:39,727 --> 00:20:41,560
Oh, so now you think
I'm great? Interesting.
530
00:20:41,662 --> 00:20:43,028
I was talking about the costume.
531
00:20:43,130 --> 00:20:44,997
And FYI, that was so not a natural red.
532
00:20:45,099 --> 00:20:46,131
- No, no, don't... don't do that.
- It wasn't.
533
00:20:46,233 --> 00:20:49,001
Oh, she loved it!
Zara loved Jack's costume!
534
00:20:49,103 --> 00:20:50,102
Man, I knew she would!
535
00:20:50,204 --> 00:20:51,536
Oh, Miggy, that's fantastic!
536
00:20:51,639 --> 00:20:53,338
- It's a head-scratcher!
- Miggy's gonna dance now!
537
00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:54,606
- Yeah, he is! Go, Miggy!
- Ehhhhew!
538
00:20:54,708 --> 00:20:56,208
Go, Miggy!
539
00:20:58,683 --> 00:21:03,683
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com