1 00:00:02,070 --> 00:00:03,570 Oh, hey! They're opening something new! 2 00:00:03,604 --> 00:00:05,474 The Karen Club. 3 00:00:05,506 --> 00:00:07,236 Aww, she sounds so nice. Yes! 4 00:00:07,275 --> 00:00:09,005 Another woman-owned business. Mm-hmm. 5 00:00:09,043 --> 00:00:10,543 Okay, what do you think she's selling? 6 00:00:10,578 --> 00:00:11,978 Uh, church hats? Hmm... 7 00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:13,482 Cardboard cutouts of Bravo characters? 8 00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:14,524 Bean bags? 9 00:00:14,548 --> 00:00:15,748 Books and wine. 10 00:00:15,783 --> 00:00:18,023 Books and wine? That's our entire business! 11 00:00:18,052 --> 00:00:19,022 She's copying us! 12 00:00:19,053 --> 00:00:20,423 Maybe we should copy her back. 13 00:00:20,454 --> 00:00:21,764 And how would that work, Miggy? 14 00:00:23,891 --> 00:00:25,031 Just keep doing our thang. 15 00:00:25,059 --> 00:00:26,989 Ohh. Wow. That's deep. 16 00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:29,197 Okay, you know what? There's room for everyone. 17 00:00:29,230 --> 00:00:31,670 It's fine, and our regulars are very loyal, so -- 18 00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:32,669 There they are! 19 00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:34,570 What the hell? 20 00:00:34,602 --> 00:00:36,972 Fran, Bess, Lil! You're going to The Karen Club? 21 00:00:38,572 --> 00:00:39,772 I don't think they heard you. 22 00:00:39,807 --> 00:00:41,937 Oh, they heard me. And they can see me. 23 00:00:41,975 --> 00:00:44,205 Hey! How's the wine over there, ladies? 24 00:00:44,245 --> 00:00:46,045 There's no way that you all got a call at the same damn time. 25 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:47,580 It could happen! 26 00:00:47,615 --> 00:00:50,075 Ooh... 27 00:00:50,118 --> 00:00:53,088 -- Captions by VITAC -- 28 00:00:53,121 --> 00:00:55,461 ** 29 00:00:55,489 --> 00:00:57,019 It i a big deal 30 00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:58,857 the Winebrarians are going to The Karen Club. 31 00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:00,232 They're our ringleaders. 32 00:01:00,261 --> 00:01:01,861 They're directly responsible for our shift 33 00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,025 from Merlot to Syrah. 34 00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:04,473 If I lose them, I'm ruined. 35 00:01:04,498 --> 00:01:05,898 Screw The Karen Club. 36 00:01:05,933 --> 00:01:07,603 They're not gonna give me free wine on my birthday. Mnh-mnh. 37 00:01:07,635 --> 00:01:09,595 Ho'd up, A-Game. When's your birthday? 38 00:01:09,637 --> 00:01:11,237 I...don't hate that nickname. 39 00:01:11,272 --> 00:01:12,912 Her birthday's tomorrow. 40 00:01:12,940 --> 00:01:14,940 Your birthday is tomorrow? Yeah. 41 00:01:14,975 --> 00:01:15,935 And you are 29. 42 00:01:15,976 --> 00:01:17,876 So that means... hmm... 43 00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:20,281 Let me just pull up my calculator on my i-- 44 00:01:21,249 --> 00:01:23,449 [ Cellphone shatters ] Tomorrow's your 30th birthday?! 45 00:01:23,484 --> 00:01:25,624 What are we gonna do?! 46 00:01:25,653 --> 00:01:27,763 Let's go through the categories alphabetically, all right? 47 00:01:27,788 --> 00:01:28,988 Atmosphere, balloons, 48 00:01:29,022 --> 00:01:30,222 cake, decor, 49 00:01:30,258 --> 00:01:31,458 eatin' dat cake... 50 00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:33,432 Angie, he's going all the way to Z. Stop him. 51 00:01:33,461 --> 00:01:35,561 All right, look, we're not doing anything, all right? 52 00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:37,056 I'm just gonna order in with Owen. 53 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:39,067 Mm-hmm. Interesting. Will, no. 54 00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:41,439 I can almost see what's happening inside your brain. 55 00:01:41,469 --> 00:01:43,469 Little men in hard hats are clocking in with lunch pails, 56 00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:45,144 all set to work, work, work 57 00:01:45,173 --> 00:01:47,513 until Angie's 30th is a massive extravaganza. 58 00:01:47,541 --> 00:01:49,281 You know, that's so funny. That's what I see, too. 59 00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:51,350 Little men in hard hats, like the Doozers from "Fraggle Rock." 60 00:01:51,379 --> 00:01:53,109 Oh, see, I do little ants in suits, 61 00:01:53,147 --> 00:01:55,017 always checking their watch, saying it's bug o'clock. 62 00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:57,588 Well, bad news -- Angie won't let you celebrate her birthday. 63 00:01:57,618 --> 00:01:59,348 Trust me. I've spent years trying. 64 00:01:59,387 --> 00:02:02,087 It's not you guys, all right? I'm just not into my birthday. 65 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:04,122 And the last time I tried to plan something was for my 21st. 66 00:02:04,158 --> 00:02:05,288 I was supposed to go to Ozzfest, 67 00:02:05,326 --> 00:02:07,526 and then I ended up taking tequila shots, 68 00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:08,831 passed out, never made it out the door. 69 00:02:08,862 --> 00:02:11,132 By the time I turned 22, I was pregnant. 70 00:02:11,165 --> 00:02:12,995 Okay. Okay. Now peep this. 71 00:02:13,033 --> 00:02:15,803 We do something big this year to make up for lost time! 72 00:02:15,836 --> 00:02:17,936 No, it's too late. My 20s are a lost decade. 73 00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:19,611 A-Aside from Graham. 74 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:20,810 You know. You -- You get it. 75 00:02:20,841 --> 00:02:22,041 Totally. We love our kids. 76 00:02:22,075 --> 00:02:23,175 Love of my life, my purpose for existing. 77 00:02:23,211 --> 00:02:24,881 Yeah, a heart outside of our chest. Et cetera. 78 00:02:24,912 --> 00:02:26,852 You know, I guess I am a little bummed I never got to do 79 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:29,020 all the quintessential 20s stuff that normal people do. 80 00:02:29,049 --> 00:02:30,819 Like, I never shot at trophies with a shotgun 81 00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:32,191 from the back of a pickup truck. 82 00:02:32,220 --> 00:02:34,460 That's "Varsity Blues," and it's about high school. 83 00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:36,488 Never did the quintessential thing 84 00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:38,464 where you unexpectedly jump up on stage 85 00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:40,362 at a cathartic moment 86 00:02:40,394 --> 00:02:41,964 and start singing in front of a crowd 87 00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,355 with steadily increasing confidence. 88 00:02:43,397 --> 00:02:44,697 Now, I can't tell if you don't know 89 00:02:44,732 --> 00:02:46,072 what people actually do in their 20s 90 00:02:46,099 --> 00:02:48,139 or if you don't know what the word "quintessential" means. 91 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,538 I was raising a kid. 92 00:02:49,570 --> 00:02:51,540 I-I wasn't gallivanting around 93 00:02:51,572 --> 00:02:53,812 acquiring a whole network of friends who throw ragers. 94 00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:54,881 I am quite happy 95 00:02:54,908 --> 00:02:56,978 entering my 30s the way I spent my 20s -- 96 00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:59,480 curled up on the couch, eating takeout Mexican. 97 00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:01,923 And at least this time, I have a boyfriend. 98 00:03:01,949 --> 00:03:03,879 And a Netflix account. Yes! 99 00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:06,047 Um, it's my Netflix account. You're borrowing it. 100 00:03:06,086 --> 00:03:07,856 And how are you still watching "Lilyhammer"? 101 00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:10,658 I love Van Zandt, and I'm done apologizing for that! 102 00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:11,731 If you'll excuse me, 103 00:03:11,759 --> 00:03:14,189 I'm going to the bathroom to pee this out. 104 00:03:14,228 --> 00:03:15,898 Okay, so, we're totally throwing her a party, right? 105 00:03:15,929 --> 00:03:16,929 What?! Come on. We have to. 106 00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:18,204 It's the last night of her 20s. 107 00:03:18,232 --> 00:03:19,232 We can even do it here. 108 00:03:19,267 --> 00:03:21,437 That could be good for business. 109 00:03:21,469 --> 00:03:24,409 [ Slurring ] Well, I went to go scope out the competition, 110 00:03:24,438 --> 00:03:25,838 and now I can confirm 111 00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:29,843 that The Karen Club mimosas are bottomless. 112 00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:32,077 So, the takeaway from this recon mission is that you're drunk. 113 00:03:32,112 --> 00:03:33,252 Yeah. I-I was trying to help. 114 00:03:33,281 --> 00:03:34,521 Miggy, you're very sweet, 115 00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:36,218 but you're bad at helping, so I hate to do this, 116 00:03:36,250 --> 00:03:37,790 but you have to do that chant I taught you. 117 00:03:37,818 --> 00:03:39,118 [ Groans ] 118 00:03:39,152 --> 00:03:40,292 Five, six, seven, eight. 119 00:03:40,321 --> 00:03:42,391 [ Chanting ] Never, ever help because my instincts 120 00:03:42,423 --> 00:03:44,223 are the leftover water from a hot dog bag! 121 00:03:44,258 --> 00:03:45,458 That's right. 122 00:03:45,493 --> 00:03:47,763 Hey, Douglas, can I get your opinion on something? 123 00:03:47,795 --> 00:03:49,255 Hey, uh, y-you know what, kid? 124 00:03:49,297 --> 00:03:50,857 I-I got a lot on my plate today. 125 00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:53,028 I got to get to my car, I got to unlock the car, 126 00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,366 I got to get in the car... 127 00:03:54,402 --> 00:03:56,472 It's about the present I got for my mom's birthday. 128 00:03:56,504 --> 00:03:57,744 It's a necklace. 129 00:03:57,771 --> 00:04:00,441 Oh, very classy. Sounds like you're on the right track. 130 00:04:00,474 --> 00:04:03,414 I used a pasta that's small and structurally sound, 131 00:04:03,444 --> 00:04:04,914 just like my mom. 132 00:04:04,945 --> 00:04:06,445 It's ditalini rigati. 133 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:08,580 Graham, I-I'm gonna be honest with you. 134 00:04:08,616 --> 00:04:11,246 When we first met, I wasn't a fan. 135 00:04:11,285 --> 00:04:14,115 But then, after a few years, well, you started to grow on me. 136 00:04:14,154 --> 00:04:16,424 So, out of respect for our bond, 137 00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:18,757 I'm just gonna be straight with you -- 138 00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:20,132 your necklace stinks. 139 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,060 But...I made it. 140 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,255 Yeah. I-I can tell. 141 00:04:23,297 --> 00:04:24,567 That's the thing. 142 00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:25,898 See, you're a child, 143 00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:27,973 and children are bad at making things. 144 00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:30,101 That's why I come to you, Douglas -- 145 00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:31,267 brutal truth. 146 00:04:31,305 --> 00:04:33,105 What do I do? 147 00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:34,480 What do women want? 148 00:04:34,508 --> 00:04:37,478 Women want things that are bought at a store, 149 00:04:37,511 --> 00:04:38,981 that cost a lot of money. 150 00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:40,112 Oh. 151 00:04:40,147 --> 00:04:41,477 Okay. 152 00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:44,615 Well, I don't have money or transportation, 153 00:04:44,652 --> 00:04:47,962 so I guess I'm giving the most important woman in my life 154 00:04:47,988 --> 00:04:50,118 garbage for her 30th birthday. 155 00:04:50,157 --> 00:04:52,357 Okay, look, drop the Willy Loman crap. 156 00:04:52,393 --> 00:04:54,763 After school, I'll take you to the mall. 157 00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:56,455 A-And don't ask to ride shotgun. 158 00:04:56,497 --> 00:04:59,297 That seat's occupied by my dry-cleaning. 159 00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:00,833 Yes! 160 00:05:02,503 --> 00:05:03,843 [ Lid slams ] 161 00:05:03,871 --> 00:05:05,011 Okay, I'm just gonna come out with it. 162 00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:08,008 It's another candle, and this one is unscented, 163 00:05:08,041 --> 00:05:09,881 which... might make it worse 164 00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:11,040 than my Christmas gifts. Mm-hmm. 165 00:05:11,078 --> 00:05:12,878 But I didn't want to let any more of the day go by 166 00:05:12,913 --> 00:05:14,353 without celebrating your birthday. 167 00:05:14,382 --> 00:05:15,352 Aww. 168 00:05:15,383 --> 00:05:16,723 I love you. 169 00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:18,450 Aww. [ Chuckles ] 170 00:05:18,486 --> 00:05:19,716 You rock. 171 00:05:21,422 --> 00:05:22,992 You know, you never say it back. 172 00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:24,463 Say what? 173 00:05:24,492 --> 00:05:26,232 Um, "I love you." 174 00:05:26,259 --> 00:05:27,499 Really? 175 00:05:27,528 --> 00:05:29,498 I feel like I say it all the time. 176 00:05:30,598 --> 00:05:31,568 I love you. 177 00:05:31,599 --> 00:05:32,999 My man. 178 00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:34,303 [ Fork clinking ] 179 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,474 I love you. 180 00:05:35,503 --> 00:05:38,343 Damn, dawg, that's sick as fudge! 181 00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:39,872 [ Glasses clink ] 182 00:05:39,907 --> 00:05:41,207 I love you. 183 00:05:41,241 --> 00:05:43,481 [ As Borat ] A-very nice! 184 00:05:43,511 --> 00:05:45,681 Wow. I guess you're right. 185 00:05:45,713 --> 00:05:47,423 God, I had no idea. 186 00:05:47,448 --> 00:05:48,718 Should I just say it now? 187 00:05:48,749 --> 00:05:50,749 No. No. That's the only thing that would make it weirder. 188 00:05:50,784 --> 00:05:52,854 I don't want you to say it until you're actually feeling it. 189 00:05:52,886 --> 00:05:55,886 In the meantime, you do a pretty good Borat impression. 190 00:05:55,923 --> 00:05:58,363 Right?! Don't you think it's time we brought that back? [ Chuckles ] 191 00:05:58,392 --> 00:05:59,692 You know what else we should bring back? 192 00:05:59,727 --> 00:06:00,827 Bane impressions. Ooh. 193 00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:03,261 It's very fun to say [As Borat] "my wife," 194 00:06:03,296 --> 00:06:05,226 [Normal voice] but with a Bane voice. 195 00:06:05,265 --> 00:06:06,395 [ As Bane ] My wife. 196 00:06:06,434 --> 00:06:07,574 Oh! [ Chuckles ] 197 00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:09,571 [ Normal voice ] Thank you for the candle. 198 00:06:09,603 --> 00:06:11,373 [ As Bane ] I bought it from HomeGoods. 199 00:06:11,405 --> 00:06:13,905 [ Gasps ] I never want to hear your real voice again. 200 00:06:13,941 --> 00:06:15,141 [ Chuckles ] [ Normal voice ] Was that good? 201 00:06:16,477 --> 00:06:18,107 How can you all sit here 202 00:06:18,145 --> 00:06:20,075 knowing that there's a birthday party guest list 203 00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:21,623 currently missing our names? 204 00:06:21,649 --> 00:06:22,849 Because we're kids? 205 00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:25,193 Exactly right. We're kids. No one takes us seriously. 206 00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:26,948 If we want to attend an adult party, 207 00:06:26,987 --> 00:06:29,257 we can either wait 15 years or... 208 00:06:29,289 --> 00:06:31,289 Fake I.D.s. I'll turn on the printer. 209 00:06:31,324 --> 00:06:33,694 Wrong! We have to show them that we're sophisticated adults. 210 00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:34,957 Do you know what that means? 211 00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:36,625 He's gonna say he has to write a play. 212 00:06:36,664 --> 00:06:38,134 I have to write a play! 213 00:06:38,165 --> 00:06:40,025 We'll show it to the adults when they return, 214 00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,537 and they'll finally see us as peers. 215 00:06:41,569 --> 00:06:42,739 [ Snaps fingers ] All right! 216 00:06:42,770 --> 00:06:45,040 Now... 217 00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:46,412 let's hear some ideas. 218 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:50,780 ** 219 00:06:50,811 --> 00:06:53,951 [ Indistinct conversations ] 220 00:06:53,981 --> 00:06:55,621 Really wish I hadn't have thrown my phone. [ Camera clicks ] 221 00:06:55,649 --> 00:06:57,919 Wow. Lots of piercings. 222 00:06:57,951 --> 00:07:00,791 Will! This is what you call a small, tasteful soiree? 223 00:07:00,821 --> 00:07:02,621 Yeah, I got a little carried away. 224 00:07:02,656 --> 00:07:04,386 I'm just trying to re-create the birthday that Angie missed 225 00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,134 when she was supposed to go to Ozzfest. Mm-hmm. 226 00:07:06,159 --> 00:07:07,629 I booked a goat. Oh, did you? 227 00:07:07,661 --> 00:07:08,961 Yeah. And the Hilltop parent-teacher band. 228 00:07:08,996 --> 00:07:09,956 Fronted by... 229 00:07:09,997 --> 00:07:11,797 [shrieks] Mark Rush! 230 00:07:11,832 --> 00:07:13,172 [ Normal voice ] Oh, is that gonna be cool? 231 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:14,230 Yes. Mark and I are fine. 232 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,837 He's wearing my blouse. Nice. 233 00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:17,099 [ Demonically ] Devil test one. 234 00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:19,067 Testing for the devil! Blood one, two! 235 00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:20,636 [ Normal voice ] Okay. Think that sounds good. 236 00:07:22,843 --> 00:07:24,283 Oh. 237 00:07:24,311 --> 00:07:26,851 Bess! Lil! Fran! Welcome back. 238 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,480 Uh, can I get you anything? Wine? Books? 239 00:07:28,516 --> 00:07:29,516 Gargoyles? 240 00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:30,780 What the hell's going on in here? 241 00:07:30,818 --> 00:07:32,948 Why is there a person drinking out of a skull? 242 00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:35,286 I am so sorry. It's my friend Angie's 30th birthday. 243 00:07:35,322 --> 00:07:37,992 It's fine. We can just go to The Karen Club. 244 00:07:38,025 --> 00:07:39,455 No, no, no, no! Don't go! [ Chuckles ] 245 00:07:39,493 --> 00:07:42,463 Look, I promise we'll keep it civil and quiet. 246 00:07:42,496 --> 00:07:44,496 She's here! 247 00:07:44,532 --> 00:07:47,132 Happy birthday! [ Cheering ] 248 00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:48,367 Oh, my God. 249 00:07:48,401 --> 00:07:50,171 What is this? 250 00:07:50,203 --> 00:07:52,213 [ Cheering fades, stops ] 251 00:07:52,239 --> 00:07:54,809 'Cause I love it! 252 00:07:54,842 --> 00:07:56,142 [ Cheering resumes ] 253 00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:57,976 Oh, my God! Did you do this? 254 00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:01,477 Uh-huh. 255 00:08:01,515 --> 00:08:03,315 Oh, my God. I can't believe you did this. 256 00:08:03,350 --> 00:08:05,720 This is the nicest thing that anyone's ever done for me. 257 00:08:05,753 --> 00:08:08,393 Well... [Chuckles] 258 00:08:08,421 --> 00:08:09,491 you're welcome. 259 00:08:09,523 --> 00:08:10,763 [ Chuckles nervously ] 260 00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:13,485 Let's hear it for Owen! 261 00:08:13,527 --> 00:08:14,487 Yeah! 262 00:08:14,528 --> 00:08:16,028 Crowd: [ Chanting ] Owen! Owen! Wow! 263 00:08:16,063 --> 00:08:17,333 Owen! 264 00:08:17,364 --> 00:08:18,404 Owen! How'd you do it?! 265 00:08:18,431 --> 00:08:19,701 All: Owen! Owen! 266 00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:25,313 What's up, Angie's 30th Birthday Party?! 267 00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:26,538 We're The Lefty Desks, 268 00:08:26,574 --> 00:08:28,414 formerly known as Morning Announcements. 269 00:08:28,441 --> 00:08:30,511 [ Heavy metal music plays ] 270 00:08:30,544 --> 00:08:31,584 Will! 271 00:08:31,612 --> 00:08:32,652 Can you believe this? 272 00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:34,680 I can. Not! I cannot. 273 00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:37,415 Words cannot express how unbelievable this is. 274 00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:39,190 God, it's amazing. Can I tell you something? 275 00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:40,249 Owen's been telling me he loves me, 276 00:08:40,287 --> 00:08:42,057 but I haven't been able to say it back, 277 00:08:42,089 --> 00:08:44,059 and I didn't know why, but I think part of me 278 00:08:44,091 --> 00:08:45,391 was worried that he didn't get me. 279 00:08:45,425 --> 00:08:48,455 Relationships are a spicy meat-a-ball! 280 00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:50,659 Go on. 281 00:08:50,698 --> 00:08:51,768 Look around. 282 00:08:51,799 --> 00:08:53,499 I mean, this is just a-amazing. 283 00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:56,403 I didn't even know I wanted this party, but he did. 284 00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:58,006 It's like he knows me better than I know myself. 285 00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,438 Yep, that's Owen. [ Chuckles ] 286 00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:01,612 Oh, my God! He got Alice Cooper! 287 00:09:01,642 --> 00:09:03,942 Oh, no. That's actually just Mark Rush in a wig. 288 00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:06,277 Oh. * You go insane 289 00:09:06,313 --> 00:09:09,283 * Speeding through my 290 00:09:09,316 --> 00:09:11,616 * Choo choo veins 291 00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:13,352 That's uncanny. 292 00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:15,016 [ Gasps ] And he also got corn chips! 293 00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:16,615 I love corn chips! 294 00:09:16,657 --> 00:09:17,687 Yes! 295 00:09:17,725 --> 00:09:19,185 I know. 296 00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:22,056 So, this is a department store. 297 00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:23,295 That's right. 298 00:09:23,330 --> 00:09:25,630 The opportunities to find a gift for your mom here 299 00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:26,896 are endless. 300 00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:29,274 But, alas, the department store days are numbered. 301 00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:32,442 It's a beautiful relic, a-a noble dinosaur. 302 00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:34,272 My favorite is triceratops. 303 00:09:34,307 --> 00:09:35,977 Try to stay with me, Graham. 304 00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:37,949 Dr. Douglas. Welcome back. 305 00:09:37,978 --> 00:09:39,248 Thank you, Cathy. 306 00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:40,449 Hello, Doctor. 307 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:42,280 Ah, Loraine. 308 00:09:42,315 --> 00:09:43,975 Did you used to work here? 309 00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:45,587 [ Whispering ] No, no, I'm a dermatologist. 310 00:09:45,619 --> 00:09:47,489 I'm like a celebrity to these people. 311 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:49,290 U-Uh, Charlene? 312 00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:51,792 Where did we go wrong, huh? 313 00:09:51,825 --> 00:09:55,125 Please, allow me to buy you something fancy. 314 00:09:55,162 --> 00:09:55,962 Who's the kid? 315 00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:57,326 Oh, it's unimportant. 316 00:09:57,364 --> 00:09:58,274 I'm Graham. 317 00:09:58,298 --> 00:09:59,828 We're buying a gift for my mom. 318 00:09:59,867 --> 00:10:01,327 I made her a pasta necklace, 319 00:10:01,368 --> 00:10:02,998 but Douglas told me it was trash. 320 00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:04,136 And he was right. 321 00:10:04,171 --> 00:10:06,441 [ Chuckles nervously ] He's paraphrasing. 322 00:10:06,473 --> 00:10:08,443 You know, I bet your mom would've loved it. 323 00:10:08,475 --> 00:10:10,605 I mean, not every woman needs something fancy. 324 00:10:10,644 --> 00:10:12,814 What about you, Charlene? Huh? What do you need? 325 00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:14,276 Come on. Let's get into it. 326 00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:16,154 But, Douglas -- Okay, look, I'll tell you what. 327 00:10:16,183 --> 00:10:18,453 Here's my credit card. Go nuts. 328 00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:20,445 Should we have a meet-up plan or something? 329 00:10:20,487 --> 00:10:22,817 Yes, look for the 6'8" man in the makeup section. 330 00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:24,616 Okay? Thank you. 331 00:10:24,658 --> 00:10:25,628 All right. 332 00:10:25,659 --> 00:10:27,929 [ Cheering ] 333 00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,331 This may be the three Cabernets talking, 334 00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:31,633 but I hate reading. 335 00:10:31,665 --> 00:10:32,965 You know? 336 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,170 Oof. They don't look happy. 337 00:10:34,201 --> 00:10:35,271 Should I -- 338 00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:36,642 No. Again, you shouldn't do anything. 339 00:10:36,670 --> 00:10:38,470 What do we know about your instincts? 340 00:10:38,505 --> 00:10:40,135 Both: [ Chanting ] Leftover water from a hot dog bag. 341 00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:42,143 That's right. You just keep serving them wine. 342 00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:44,135 I'll take care of the rest. Okay. 343 00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:47,852 Poppy! Douglas took me shopping for my mom. 344 00:10:47,881 --> 00:10:49,481 I think I nailed it. 345 00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:51,620 Whoa, cowboy. 346 00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,491 Douglas! Yeah, what the hell?! 347 00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:54,650 The netting seemed cool, 348 00:10:54,688 --> 00:10:56,488 and I like that there are feathers on it! 349 00:10:56,523 --> 00:10:58,293 You let him buy lingerie for his mom?! 350 00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:00,155 Of course I didn't let him buy lingerie! 351 00:11:00,193 --> 00:11:02,363 I gave him my credit card and I sent him off. 352 00:11:02,395 --> 00:11:04,695 So, sorry, D'Amato, but you're going with the necklace. 353 00:11:04,732 --> 00:11:05,972 I threw it away. 354 00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:08,069 You said it was trash, so I put it in the trash. 355 00:11:08,101 --> 00:11:09,971 Hm. Never said that. 356 00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:11,713 Well, looks like you're going dumpster diving. 357 00:11:11,739 --> 00:11:12,639 Ow! 358 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,042 Oh, God. The goat's in the wine! 359 00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:16,214 [ Goat bleats ] Get the goat out of the wine! 360 00:11:16,243 --> 00:11:18,083 [ Cheers and applause ] 361 00:11:19,412 --> 00:11:20,852 Hey, what's up, man? 362 00:11:20,881 --> 00:11:22,051 Hey. 363 00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:23,982 Hey, so, listen, I just wanted to apologize, 364 00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:26,247 'cause I know you planned this entire thing, 365 00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:28,086 and it is insane that I took credit for it. 366 00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:30,321 I think I might be a sociopath. I already texted my therapist. 367 00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:32,027 Listen, tonight is not about me, so -- 368 00:11:32,059 --> 00:11:33,159 No, no, no. No. I know. 369 00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:35,703 But I really am sorry, and... 370 00:11:35,729 --> 00:11:37,059 I'm gonna tell Angie the truth. 371 00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:39,897 Although I did throw a pretty awesome party. 372 00:11:39,933 --> 00:11:41,003 [ Chuckles ] 373 00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:42,104 Wait. No, y threw the party. 374 00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:43,595 Man, I really committed to this lie. 375 00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:44,866 I gotta come clean. 376 00:11:44,905 --> 00:11:46,765 [ Chanting ] Chips, chips, chips, chips, chips! 377 00:11:46,807 --> 00:11:48,107 No, no, you don't. 378 00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:50,081 I mean, she's having such a good time. 379 00:11:50,110 --> 00:11:51,340 So, how about this -- 380 00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:53,048 I'll fill you in on the plans for the rest of the night 381 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:54,450 so that you can act like you came up with it. 382 00:11:54,481 --> 00:11:56,351 Now, in 10 minutes, we're gonna be handing out gummy snakes 383 00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:58,593 so that people can bite the head off of them 384 00:11:58,618 --> 00:12:00,118 like Ozzy Osbourne did that one time, 385 00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:02,393 and then in an hour, we're bringing out the cake. 386 00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:03,792 It's shaped like a bat heart. 387 00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:04,964 W-What's a bat heart look like? 388 00:12:04,992 --> 00:12:07,092 Kind of like a regular heart, but smaller, 389 00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:08,597 but actually bigger, 'cause this is a cake. 390 00:12:08,628 --> 00:12:10,598 Got it. And then, at the end of the night, 391 00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:13,130 the band is gonna serenade Angie with her favorite song. 392 00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:15,571 "Blue (Da Ba Dee)"? No. 393 00:12:15,602 --> 00:12:17,442 That Eric Clapton song about cocaine? 394 00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:18,610 You mean "Cocaine"? Yeah. 395 00:12:18,638 --> 00:12:20,908 No. "Raining Blood" by Slayer. 396 00:12:20,941 --> 00:12:22,541 Man! How do you know all this stuff? 397 00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:24,535 It's fine. You're gonna do great. 398 00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:25,547 Wow. 399 00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:26,848 You really went for it. 400 00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:29,921 No, man. You really went for it. 401 00:12:29,950 --> 00:12:32,620 ** 402 00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:34,752 Okay, last pitch. 403 00:12:34,788 --> 00:12:35,958 We call it "I Object: 404 00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:38,289 A Woman's Journey Through Law: The D'Amato Story," 405 00:12:38,325 --> 00:12:41,385 an inspiring tale of a paralegal in a man's world. 406 00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:42,958 [ Sighs ] I guess I don't have to like 407 00:12:42,996 --> 00:12:44,456 every play that has my name on it. 408 00:12:44,497 --> 00:12:46,567 We've been pitching you ideas for an hour. 409 00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:48,469 You haven't pitched any! 410 00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:50,141 My idea was the idea to do something! 411 00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:51,340 Now clear a space! 412 00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:53,442 [ Sighs ] 413 00:12:55,843 --> 00:12:57,643 1989. 414 00:12:57,677 --> 00:13:00,947 We hear the heartbeat, crack of a baby's first cry, 415 00:13:00,981 --> 00:13:03,681 jump to her first kiss, flash forward to her law firm, 416 00:13:03,716 --> 00:13:05,616 intermission, meet Graham, meet future Graham, 417 00:13:05,652 --> 00:13:07,192 flashback to monologue from the womb, 418 00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:08,790 and...curtain! 419 00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:10,822 Roses, roses, roses, New York Times goes crazy. 420 00:13:10,858 --> 00:13:12,158 Okay, so, what do you think? 421 00:13:12,192 --> 00:13:13,792 Huh?Huh?Huh? 422 00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:15,297 Fine! I'll just do it myself! 423 00:13:15,328 --> 00:13:17,458 [ Groans ] 424 00:13:17,497 --> 00:13:18,997 [ Music continues, cheers and applause ] 425 00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:21,372 Hey. I just tried the specialty cocktail. 426 00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:24,601 Tomato D'Amato? A Bloody Mary with tequila? 427 00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:26,137 Genius! 428 00:13:26,173 --> 00:13:27,983 How did you think of it? 429 00:13:28,008 --> 00:13:29,378 Just... sort of came to me. 430 00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:31,039 [ Chuckles ] 431 00:13:31,078 --> 00:13:33,648 Actually, um... 432 00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:35,320 I can't keep taking credit. 433 00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:36,348 No, don't be humble. 434 00:13:36,383 --> 00:13:38,993 This party you threw is incredible. 435 00:13:39,019 --> 00:13:39,989 [ Sighs ] 436 00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:41,190 And I just want to say... 437 00:13:41,221 --> 00:13:42,661 Oh, God. 438 00:13:43,756 --> 00:13:44,986 ...I love you. 439 00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:47,456 We have to break up. 440 00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:49,164 What? 441 00:13:49,196 --> 00:13:50,356 Mark: Let's hear it for Angie and Owen! 442 00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:51,797 [ Cheers and applause ] Yeah! 443 00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:52,871 Get a room, you two! 444 00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:54,870 [ Chuckles ] 445 00:13:54,902 --> 00:13:55,872 Whoo! 446 00:13:55,903 --> 00:13:58,043 ** 447 00:14:01,909 --> 00:14:03,639 You're breaking up with me? At my birthday party? 448 00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:04,636 That you planned? 449 00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:05,807 I didn't plan the party. 450 00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,175 What? Look, I'm sorry. 451 00:14:07,214 --> 00:14:09,184 I-I just sort of panicked and took credit. 452 00:14:09,216 --> 00:14:10,716 You looked so happy, 453 00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:12,920 and I wanted to be the one that made you feel that way. 454 00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:14,493 You do make me happy. 455 00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:16,161 Yeah, but there's something missing. 456 00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:18,489 That's why you couldn't say "I love you." 457 00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:20,685 And then when you did, it was for something that I didn't even do. 458 00:14:20,727 --> 00:14:22,927 I did say it, though. 459 00:14:22,963 --> 00:14:25,503 Yeah, but do you? 460 00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:26,532 Love me? 461 00:14:26,566 --> 00:14:30,436 [ Heavy metal music plays ] 462 00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:31,770 I don't know. 463 00:14:31,804 --> 00:14:36,714 ** 464 00:14:36,743 --> 00:14:37,883 I'm sorry. 465 00:14:37,911 --> 00:14:41,281 ** 466 00:14:41,314 --> 00:14:42,584 Okay. 467 00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,223 I should probably go. 468 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:48,390 [ Smooches ] 469 00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:51,691 ** 470 00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:53,564 [ Bleats ] 471 00:14:53,593 --> 00:15:00,603 ** 472 00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:04,170 [ Exhales deeply ] 473 00:15:05,805 --> 00:15:08,305 Hey, Rory. Are you okay? 474 00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:09,481 No! I'm blocked! 475 00:15:09,509 --> 00:15:11,079 The only thing that I've done on that computer 476 00:15:11,111 --> 00:15:12,881 is find the right level of zoom for my eyes. 477 00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:15,152 What's worse is, I feel like I've let you all down. 478 00:15:15,182 --> 00:15:17,122 I know you guys see me as a leader -- 479 00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:18,450 the wise one, 480 00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:20,285 nothing less than a god. 481 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:21,320 [ Whispering ] We said that? 482 00:15:21,354 --> 00:15:23,594 [ Whispering ] No, but just nod. 483 00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:24,963 And I can't get this play done, 484 00:15:24,992 --> 00:15:27,962 which means they had a right not to invite us to the party. 485 00:15:27,995 --> 00:15:29,825 Let's face it -- I'm a kid. 486 00:15:29,862 --> 00:15:31,332 Is that so bad? 487 00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:33,174 We're kids, and we wrote a play. 488 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:35,000 There's even a part for you. 489 00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:38,135 Welcome to our Emma, Amy, Sophie, 490 00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:39,971 and Rory Banks Production. 491 00:15:40,007 --> 00:15:41,977 Hmm. How big is my role? 492 00:15:42,009 --> 00:15:43,009 You play Graham. 493 00:15:43,043 --> 00:15:44,643 The son, huh? 494 00:15:44,677 --> 00:15:46,007 Let me talk to my agent. 495 00:15:46,980 --> 00:15:48,580 A-she said yes! 496 00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:49,775 [ Laughter ] 497 00:15:49,816 --> 00:15:50,846 Ladies. 498 00:15:50,883 --> 00:15:53,193 So sorry I haven't checked in on you. 499 00:15:53,220 --> 00:15:54,490 So, what are we talking about? 500 00:15:54,521 --> 00:15:56,491 Everyone, the bell has rung! 501 00:15:56,523 --> 00:15:58,993 It's time for another rock exam! 502 00:15:59,026 --> 00:16:01,286 [ Heavy metal music plays ] That's it! We are going to The Karen Club. 503 00:16:01,328 --> 00:16:03,028 W-W-W-Wait. N-- 504 00:16:03,063 --> 00:16:04,363 Great. We lost them! 505 00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:06,167 Wait. Let me try something. Give me a chance, okay? 506 00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:07,669 Hey, ladies, ladies, ladies. Hey, hey. 507 00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:09,870 Are you mad that the heavy metal is ruining 508 00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:12,342 your weird book club-type thing or whatever this is? 509 00:16:12,372 --> 00:16:13,372 Yeah!Yes!Yeah. 510 00:16:13,406 --> 00:16:14,466 Yeah, but that's not all, is it? 511 00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:15,937 What else is making you mad? 512 00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:16,975 Pay gap! Childcare! 513 00:16:17,010 --> 00:16:18,310 That one part in "Becoming" 514 00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:19,605 where Michelle Obama says 515 00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:21,706 a U.S. sitting congressman made fun of her butt! 516 00:16:21,748 --> 00:16:23,948 Ladies, you don't need The Karen Club. 517 00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:26,323 I think you need... to rage! 518 00:16:26,353 --> 00:16:27,893 Yeah! 519 00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:29,560 Rock out that anger -- now! 520 00:16:29,589 --> 00:16:31,189 Come on! Yeah! Yeah! 521 00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:32,194 Let's do this! Go! 522 00:16:32,225 --> 00:16:33,655 Okay! 523 00:16:33,693 --> 00:16:34,963 Bess: Yeah! 524 00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,464 I cannot believe that worked. [ Exhales deeply ] 525 00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:37,456 Me neither. 526 00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:38,797 Yeaaah! 527 00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,301 Hey, birthday girl. 528 00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:41,973 Owen and I broke up. 529 00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:43,041 What? Why? 530 00:16:43,070 --> 00:16:44,870 He told me he didn't throw this party. 531 00:16:44,904 --> 00:16:46,044 Obviously, you did -- 532 00:16:46,073 --> 00:16:47,713 which I should've known. 533 00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:50,340 Thank you for my party. 534 00:16:50,377 --> 00:16:51,577 You're welcome. 535 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:56,680 I-I think I just wanted him to know me that well. 536 00:16:56,716 --> 00:16:58,486 ** 537 00:16:58,518 --> 00:16:59,518 I'm really sorry. 538 00:16:59,552 --> 00:17:01,192 Yeah. Me too. 539 00:17:01,221 --> 00:17:03,391 I just wanted you to have a good 30th. 540 00:17:04,757 --> 00:17:06,987 You know, in spite of all of it, 541 00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,496 I...think I did. 542 00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,158 Mm. 543 00:17:10,197 --> 00:17:12,367 Well, it's probably the power of Ozzfest, right? 544 00:17:12,399 --> 00:17:14,929 * The concrete cauldron can't refuse me * 545 00:17:14,967 --> 00:17:17,537 It's got to be the music. Really gets inside of you. 546 00:17:17,570 --> 00:17:18,770 Yeah, I know I'm changed. 547 00:17:18,805 --> 00:17:20,035 You hate this music. 548 00:17:20,073 --> 00:17:21,043 I don't love it. 549 00:17:21,074 --> 00:17:22,584 There was 20 minutes where I thought 550 00:17:22,609 --> 00:17:23,839 I was kind of connecting with it, 551 00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:26,106 and then I realized the band was actually taking a break 552 00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:27,906 and I was just listening to a Hall & Oates CD. 553 00:17:27,947 --> 00:17:29,777 [ Chuckles ] Mark: Thank you! 554 00:17:29,816 --> 00:17:32,616 [ Cheers and applause ] All right, we're gonna change tuning, and we'll be right back. 555 00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:35,092 I'm sorry that you're starting your 30s single. 556 00:17:35,122 --> 00:17:36,562 No. You know what? 557 00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:38,429 I spent my 20s single, taking care of Graham, 558 00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:40,688 and I still managed to end up with a group of friends 559 00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:42,727 who love me enough to do this for me. 560 00:17:42,762 --> 00:17:44,262 Technically, did a lot myself, but... 561 00:17:44,297 --> 00:17:47,227 If anything, this birthday should be a celebration of that. 562 00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:48,437 Hear, hear. 563 00:17:48,468 --> 00:17:49,468 Graham: Mom? 564 00:17:49,502 --> 00:17:51,572 Hi, sweetie. Here's your gift. 565 00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:53,144 I made it, and I know it's terrible 566 00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:54,273 and covered in trash. 567 00:17:54,307 --> 00:17:55,777 I'm sorry. 568 00:17:55,808 --> 00:17:57,908 No, this is so good. 569 00:17:57,944 --> 00:18:00,284 Graham, what on Earth would make you think this is bad? 570 00:18:00,313 --> 00:18:02,483 Douglas told me so. 571 00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:06,650 Oh, don't look at me surprised. You know who I am. 572 00:18:06,686 --> 00:18:07,646 It's okay. 573 00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:09,117 You're going to put it in a box 574 00:18:09,156 --> 00:18:11,786 with the seashell earrings I gave you that you never wore. 575 00:18:11,824 --> 00:18:12,634 [ Sighs ] 576 00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:14,789 Look, sweetie. 577 00:18:14,827 --> 00:18:17,157 I don't always wear the things you make, 578 00:18:17,197 --> 00:18:19,127 but I do love them. 579 00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:21,666 And they're not bad because you made them. 580 00:18:21,701 --> 00:18:24,471 They're amazing because you made them. 581 00:18:24,504 --> 00:18:26,444 That's really nice, Mom. 582 00:18:26,473 --> 00:18:28,483 But I still want to get you something 583 00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:30,578 that you'll actually wear. 584 00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:33,510 We just need to exchange the lingerie I bought you. 585 00:18:34,514 --> 00:18:35,324 What? 586 00:18:35,348 --> 00:18:37,618 [ Guitars tuning, feedback ] 587 00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:39,450 [ Laughing ] Oh, yes! Yes! 588 00:18:39,486 --> 00:18:40,786 [ Cheering ] 589 00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:43,290 Channeling their rage was a great idea. Word. 590 00:18:43,323 --> 00:18:45,833 Miggy, I can't believe I'm about to say this, but you really helped. 591 00:18:45,858 --> 00:18:46,788 Word?! Mm-hmm. 592 00:18:46,826 --> 00:18:47,626 Thank you! 593 00:18:47,660 --> 00:18:48,800 What is that on your wrist? 594 00:18:48,828 --> 00:18:50,128 Oh, it's a Karen Club scrunchie. 595 00:18:50,163 --> 00:18:52,033 Oh, it's a Karen Club scrunchie. It is, yeah. 596 00:18:52,064 --> 00:18:53,274 Oh, okay. Wha-- 597 00:18:53,300 --> 00:18:55,270 All right, we got one more song for you tonight, 598 00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:57,172 and it goes out to the birthday girl. 599 00:18:57,204 --> 00:18:58,514 Bess: Hey, she's a woman! 600 00:18:58,538 --> 00:18:59,968 Don't diminish her! She's your equal! 601 00:19:00,006 --> 00:19:02,176 All right, one, two, three, four! 602 00:19:02,209 --> 00:19:04,209 [ "Raining Blood" plays ] 603 00:19:04,244 --> 00:19:05,454 This is my favorite song! 604 00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:07,008 I know. 605 00:19:07,046 --> 00:19:08,376 Wait. What time were you born? 606 00:19:08,415 --> 00:19:10,275 10:30. Why? 607 00:19:10,317 --> 00:19:12,317 You're technically still in your 20s, 608 00:19:12,352 --> 00:19:13,892 so there's still time to... 609 00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:16,957 You know, do that thing 610 00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:19,189 where you go on stage during a cathartic moment 611 00:19:19,226 --> 00:19:21,286 and sing in front of a group of people 612 00:19:21,328 --> 00:19:22,998 with steadily increasing confidence. 613 00:19:23,029 --> 00:19:23,959 No. No! Do it! 614 00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:24,856 No way! Do it! 615 00:19:24,897 --> 00:19:26,127 I'm not going up there! No! 616 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:29,235 Both: [ Chanting ] Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! 617 00:19:29,269 --> 00:19:33,009 Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! 618 00:19:33,039 --> 00:19:34,339 [ Cheering ] 619 00:19:34,374 --> 00:19:38,684 ** 620 00:19:38,711 --> 00:19:41,681 I can't imagine this isn't gonna become embarrassing. 621 00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:47,324 ** 622 00:19:47,354 --> 00:19:49,064 * In purgatory 623 00:19:49,088 --> 00:19:51,558 * A lifeless object alive 624 00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:54,191 * Awaiting reprisal 625 00:19:54,227 --> 00:19:56,097 * Death will be their acquiescence * 626 00:19:57,264 --> 00:19:58,534 * The sky is turning red 627 00:19:58,565 --> 00:19:59,695 [ Cheering ] 628 00:19:59,732 --> 00:20:02,442 * Return to power draws near 629 00:20:02,469 --> 00:20:05,069 * Fall into me, the sky's crimson tears * 630 00:20:05,104 --> 00:20:07,874 * Abolish the rules made of stone! * 631 00:20:07,907 --> 00:20:10,707 ** 632 00:20:10,743 --> 00:20:12,583 [ Screams ] 633 00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:13,912 That's my friend! 634 00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:15,206 She's beautiful. 635 00:20:15,248 --> 00:20:17,348 That's my goat. 636 00:20:17,384 --> 00:20:19,194 He's beautiful. 637 00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:20,348 Thank you. 638 00:20:20,387 --> 00:20:22,717 ** 639 00:20:22,755 --> 00:20:25,055 * Raining blood! * Raining blood! 640 00:20:25,091 --> 00:20:27,891 * From the lacerated sky 641 00:20:27,927 --> 00:20:30,457 * Bleeding its horror, creating my structure * 642 00:20:30,497 --> 00:20:34,527 * Now I shall reign in bloo-o-o-o-o-od! * 643 00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:36,267 Yeah! 644 00:20:36,303 --> 00:20:37,403 I love corn chips! 645 00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:42,437 So, you want to exchange this teddy that your son bought you? 646 00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:43,775 That's right. 647 00:20:43,810 --> 00:20:45,280 That happened. 648 00:20:45,312 --> 00:20:47,082 Now can we please just move past it? 649 00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:53,117 ** 650 00:20:53,152 --> 00:20:54,952 Happy birthday, Mom. 651 00:20:54,987 --> 00:20:56,717 [ Sighs ] 652 00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:57,856 I love it. 653 00:20:59,326 --> 00:21:00,626 But it's missing something. 654 00:21:00,660 --> 00:21:04,660 ** 655 00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:14,310 ** 656 00:21:14,341 --> 00:21:15,811 Now it's perfect. 657 00:21:17,544 --> 00:21:19,154 Love you. 658 00:21:19,178 --> 00:21:20,808 Oh, wait. Sorry. 659 00:21:21,881 --> 00:21:23,151 This never happened.