1
00:00:01,459 --> 00:00:04,004
Oh, FYI, the club is having

2
00:00:04,087 --> 00:00:06,047
a Twelve Days of Christmas themed dinner

3
00:00:06,131 --> 00:00:07,632
- that'll knock your socks off.
- Ooh!

4
00:00:07,716 --> 00:00:10,218
Punishing amount of poultry. Just brutal.

5
00:00:10,301 --> 00:00:11,761
Now, brutal in a fun way

6
00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:13,596
or brutal in, like, Rory's burn book way?

7
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:16,766
That kid took us both down.
I never wore sandals again.

8
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:18,810
Hey, you ever think about
telling the kids about us?

9
00:00:18,893 --> 00:00:19,894
And say what?

10
00:00:19,978 --> 00:00:21,438
I mean, we haven't even labeled this.

11
00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:23,148
Whatever this is.

12
00:00:23,231 --> 00:00:26,026
But if we were labeling it,
what would it be?

13
00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:27,569
Snuggle buddies?

14
00:00:27,652 --> 00:00:28,653
Handsy carpoolers?

15
00:00:28,737 --> 00:00:29,904
Hot tub pals.

16
00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:31,781
Ooh! Or maybe -- maybe just "tubbers"?

17
00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:33,783
Oh, I love our work in the hot tub.

18
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:38,163
But all this -- kids,
having a conversation, words --

19
00:00:38,246 --> 00:00:40,415
feels like a 2020 problem to me.

20
00:00:40,498 --> 00:00:42,292
I'm so glad you said that,
'cause I just...

21
00:00:42,375 --> 00:00:44,335
you know, I like being
in our little bubble.

22
00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:45,670
So safe in here.

23
00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:48,798
Yes! Just you and me,
ignoring the needy screams

24
00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:51,134
of the children we're hiding from.

25
00:00:51,217 --> 00:00:52,218
Uh-huh.

26
00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:53,303
Lights.

27
00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:54,471
Watch the bulbs this time!

28
00:00:54,554 --> 00:00:56,973
Get off my ass, will ya?!

29
00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:02,353
Look.

30
00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:04,647
I told you, I got it!

31
00:01:05,148 --> 00:01:07,233
No. Look.

32
00:01:09,694 --> 00:01:11,279
Aah!

33
00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:19,996
{\an8}Gotta say, Angie, I am very impressed

34
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,165
{\an8}with how you've upped
your Christmas game this year.

35
00:01:22,248 --> 00:01:23,917
{\an8}I see you hung a Santa beard.

36
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,835
{\an8}You know,
that's not normally a decoration,

37
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:27,295
{\an8}but still, I admire the effort.

38
00:01:27,378 --> 00:01:28,588
{\an8}Oh!

39
00:01:28,671 --> 00:01:30,590
{\an8}That's a beard. I thought it was snow.

40
00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:32,133
{\an8}Now that we're back in the house,

41
00:01:32,217 --> 00:01:33,927
{\an8}I just want to give Graham
the best Christmas ever.

42
00:01:34,010 --> 00:01:35,386
{\an8}You know, it's been a crazy couple months.

43
00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:37,931
{\an8}Yeah, he lived in a sauna,
like a human towel.

44
00:01:38,014 --> 00:01:39,265
{\an8}And check it --

45
00:01:39,349 --> 00:01:41,559
{\an8}this year, I'm gonna read
Graham's letter to Santa.

46
00:01:41,643 --> 00:01:42,769
{\an8}You've never read it before?

47
00:01:42,852 --> 00:01:44,979
{\an8}And feel bad for all the crap
I can't afford to buy him?

48
00:01:45,063 --> 00:01:46,397
{\an8}No, thank you.

49
00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:47,774
{\an8}That blood's on Santa's hands.

50
00:01:47,857 --> 00:01:50,819
{\an8}This Christmas, Graham is gonna get
everything he asks for,

51
00:01:50,902 --> 00:01:52,987
{\an8}even if it means I have to
max out all my credit cards

52
00:01:53,071 --> 00:01:54,531
{\an8}and sell my teeth and hair,
like in Les Mis.

53
00:01:54,614 --> 00:01:56,282
{\an8}You know, I actually played Cosette

54
00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:57,951
{\an8}in a gender-bending production of Les Mis

55
00:01:58,034 --> 00:02:00,245
{\an8}at a junior college
where I was not enrolled.

56
00:02:00,328 --> 00:02:02,664
{\an8}I...don't love knowing that.

57
00:02:02,747 --> 00:02:05,875
{\an8}Alright, kidoodle, time to hit the road.

58
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:08,253
{\an8}A-plus decking the halls, Angie.

59
00:02:08,336 --> 00:02:11,923
{\an8}You would never be able to tell
you burned down your own house.

60
00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:14,801
{\an8}And a merry Christmas to you, child.

61
00:02:14,884 --> 00:02:16,219
{\an8}♪♪

62
00:02:16,302 --> 00:02:17,303
{\an8}-Here, Mom.

63
00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:19,764
{\an8}For the mailbox
at the bottom of your purse.

64
00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:23,017
{\an8}♪ We won't go until we get some ♪

65
00:02:23,101 --> 00:02:25,520
{\an8}♪ We won't go until we get some ♪

66
00:02:25,603 --> 00:02:29,816
{\an8}♪♪

67
00:02:30,066 --> 00:02:31,401
{\an8}-Hi, Santa.

68
00:02:31,484 --> 00:02:34,112
{\an8}Based on what's been
under the tree lately,

69
00:02:34,195 --> 00:02:36,906
{\an8}I suspect I may have the wrong address.

70
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:39,075
{\an8}Have you switched Poles?

71
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:43,454
{\an8}Anywhoozle, this year,
I only have two things on my list.

72
00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:46,249
1, I want to see snow.

73
00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:48,751
2, I want to meet my dad.

74
00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:53,047
Oh, that's a punch in the butt.

75
00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:58,469
How long you plan on loitering
in front of my fireplace?

76
00:02:58,553 --> 00:03:00,054
Until I get the perfect photo.

77
00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:03,391
You know how hard I work on my
Christmas card/Instagram post

78
00:03:03,474 --> 00:03:04,934
'cause I don't know where the stamp goes.

79
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,853
Well, at least you know
that there are stamps,

80
00:03:06,936 --> 00:03:08,563
and that's more than I'd expect.

81
00:03:08,646 --> 00:03:10,523
Hey, hey, Douglas, I got a problem.

82
00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:12,358
Well, good luck with it. And use coasters.

83
00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:13,902
No, no, no, no! Listen, listen.

84
00:03:13,985 --> 00:03:16,070
So, I asked my friend with bennies,

85
00:03:16,154 --> 00:03:17,363
Homily Pronstroller,

86
00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:19,240
to help me come up
with the dopest, freshest,

87
00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:21,951
most off-the-wall idea for a card.

88
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:23,244
I thought she was the coolest girl around,

89
00:03:23,328 --> 00:03:25,705
but she keeps pitching me
all this lame stuff.

90
00:03:25,788 --> 00:03:27,373
Who's ready for photos?

91
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:29,125
I got you matching Christmas sweaters.

92
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:31,419
Hey, you know,
when you get those printed, uh,

93
00:03:31,502 --> 00:03:32,879
I'll take two copies, okay?

94
00:03:32,962 --> 00:03:34,214
Okay. Right on that.

95
00:03:34,297 --> 00:03:36,090
- Ugh. Yes.
- Mm.

96
00:03:36,174 --> 00:03:37,842
I knew you were a snowman guy.

97
00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:39,719
Jack, you're gonna look so good in this!

98
00:03:39,802 --> 00:03:41,888
Miggy! Miggy!

99
00:03:41,971 --> 00:03:44,557
The twins came to me with
some...troubling information.

100
00:03:44,641 --> 00:03:45,934
We need a third-party confirmation.

101
00:03:46,017 --> 00:03:48,061
- Okay.
- Are my dad...

102
00:03:48,144 --> 00:03:49,270
And my darling mother...

103
00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:50,730
Boyfriend and girlfriend?

104
00:03:50,813 --> 00:03:52,106
Oh, yeah. You guys didn't know?

105
00:03:52,190 --> 00:03:53,691
- What?
- Oh, my God.

106
00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:55,568
Girls, get the salts.

107
00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:57,403
I'm going down.

108
00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:02,742
Hey. Will.

109
00:04:02,825 --> 00:04:04,369
Remember when I said that Graham

110
00:04:04,452 --> 00:04:06,496
was gonna get everything
on his list this year?

111
00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:08,539
That little dumb-dumb asked for snow.

112
00:04:08,623 --> 00:04:09,916
Damn, girl, you dead.

113
00:04:09,999 --> 00:04:11,084
No. Not dead.

114
00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:13,670
I'm gonna drive north
until I hit the white stuff,

115
00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:17,215
maybe...I don't know,
use that map thingy on my phone.

116
00:04:17,715 --> 00:04:20,093
Ew. This cookie's trash.

117
00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:21,761
Your phone?

118
00:04:21,844 --> 00:04:25,014
Angie, you are standing in front of
KZOP's preeminent alternate weatherman.

119
00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:27,767
I'll find you snow.

120
00:04:28,184 --> 00:04:30,311
Isn't TV weather just
for entertainment purposes?

121
00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:32,021
Entertainment purposes?

122
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:34,357
No. I am a professional.

123
00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:35,900
Let's see here.

124
00:04:36,442 --> 00:04:37,610
Ah ha ha ha!

125
00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:40,530
Looks like Lake Arrowhead
is expecting an onding.

126
00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:41,698
What's that, you ask?

127
00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:43,783
That's just the 18th-century Scottish word

128
00:04:43,866 --> 00:04:45,076
for "heavy snowfall."

129
00:04:45,159 --> 00:04:50,373
Something that just came from my mind.
I'll go ahead and book us a cabin.

130
00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:51,666
Really?

131
00:04:51,749 --> 00:04:53,710
Wow. Thanks, Will.

132
00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:55,837
- You're the best.
- You owe me $200.

133
00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:57,505
Amazing. I'll Venmo you.

134
00:04:58,381 --> 00:05:00,300
- Will you?
- Absolutely not.

135
00:05:05,346 --> 00:05:08,641
I mean, once you get past
the insane height difference, this tracks.

136
00:05:08,725 --> 00:05:10,393
Mom's been acting super-weird lately.

137
00:05:10,476 --> 00:05:14,105
Mom, Louisa's sleepover dress
code is "Titanic Steerage,"

138
00:05:14,188 --> 00:05:16,274
so, um...have you seen my nightshirt?

139
00:05:16,357 --> 00:05:18,151
Mom? Mom?

140
00:05:18,234 --> 00:05:19,777
- Poppy!
- Oh, what? Yeah?

141
00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:22,196
She only busts out Coco by Chanel
on special occasions,

142
00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:24,615
and there has been a lot
of special occasions lately.

143
00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:27,118
Our dad's been sketchy as hell, too.

144
00:05:27,201 --> 00:05:29,287
Make it sing, Tony.

145
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:33,041
Mm.

146
00:05:33,124 --> 00:05:36,210
Tony usually only does
the big shave on his birthday.

147
00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:38,379
He's been swinging that blade every week.

148
00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:40,465
Right under our noses the entire time.

149
00:05:40,548 --> 00:05:41,716
Like Charles and Camilla.

150
00:05:41,799 --> 00:05:42,800
Hold up.

151
00:05:42,967 --> 00:05:44,260
But what does this mean?

152
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:45,845
Are you going to be our triplet?

153
00:05:45,928 --> 00:05:47,930
Listen, Poppy's great.

154
00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:49,307
No disrespect.

155
00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:51,184
But the Fogertys got a system.

156
00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:52,477
Yeah, it works.

157
00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:54,896
All this change
kind of makes me want to yarf.

158
00:05:55,438 --> 00:05:56,439
Okay.

159
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:59,067
There is clearly a lot of emotion here,

160
00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:01,152
but we can start working through
that crap after Christmas.

161
00:06:01,235 --> 00:06:03,196
Right now, we have the next 48 hours

162
00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:06,866
to use the info to get
as many presents as possible.

163
00:06:06,949 --> 00:06:08,826
Ooh, I love an inside job.

164
00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:10,953
How are we gonna get these suckers?

165
00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:13,623
When Mom was dating Mark Rush,
she felt super-weird about it

166
00:06:13,706 --> 00:06:15,750
and got me all of the celebrity
Barbies that I wanted --

167
00:06:15,833 --> 00:06:18,461
Ava DuVernay, Tim McGraw and Faith Hill,

168
00:06:18,544 --> 00:06:19,712
Vitamin C --

169
00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:22,423
We gotta guilt them until the holiday
shipping window runs out.

170
00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:23,800
I want a baby hippo,

171
00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:25,426
and I'll just toss it
when it gets too big.

172
00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:27,845
Who cares? It's free.

173
00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:30,556
We're rich, you idiots. We're rich!

174
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:32,100
Can you believe I'm actually

175
00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:33,893
gonna pull off
this snow-for-Christmas thing?

176
00:06:33,976 --> 00:06:36,562
I'm such a good mom,
it's, like, obnoxious.

177
00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:38,564
We are 1,000 yards away from snow.

178
00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:40,191
- Yay!
- Boy, oh, boy!

179
00:06:40,274 --> 00:06:41,734
Hey, how many times do you think you could

180
00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:44,570
listen to this song on "repeat"
before you just ended it all?

181
00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:45,947
For me, it would be four.

182
00:06:46,030 --> 00:06:48,074
Start practicing your "brrr."

183
00:06:48,157 --> 00:06:49,617
Brrr!

184
00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:51,953
♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪

185
00:06:52,036 --> 00:06:53,788
♪ Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la ♪

186
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:57,166
I don't see snow.

187
00:07:00,878 --> 00:07:03,214
Help me! Help me! My insides are drying!

188
00:07:03,297 --> 00:07:04,549
Here, here.

189
00:07:04,632 --> 00:07:06,175
So, I guess your prediction
was a little off.

190
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:08,136
Oh. Wait. Is that a snowflake?

191
00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:10,263
Oh.

192
00:07:10,346 --> 00:07:11,889
No, it's just ash.

193
00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:16,269
Ugh!

194
00:07:16,352 --> 00:07:18,229
This is exactly what I was talking about.

195
00:07:18,312 --> 00:07:20,148
Weathermen are just like palm readers --

196
00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:23,067
fun, never right, wear too much makeup.

197
00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:24,318
I am a scientist.

198
00:07:24,402 --> 00:07:26,279
I went to school for meteorology.

199
00:07:26,362 --> 00:07:27,405
Oh, yeah? And what were your classes?

200
00:07:27,488 --> 00:07:29,282
Looking Out the Window 101?

201
00:07:29,365 --> 00:07:32,410
Oh, and when did they teach you
to do this with your hands?

202
00:07:32,493 --> 00:07:34,287
Okay, now we are veering
into hurtful territory.

203
00:07:34,370 --> 00:07:35,705
You said you'd get me snow!

204
00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:36,956
Look, I know
that Graham has had a hard year

205
00:07:37,039 --> 00:07:38,791
and you want to get him
everything on his list.

206
00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:40,585
Here.

207
00:07:40,668 --> 00:07:42,128
Read this!

208
00:07:44,213 --> 00:07:45,673
"I want to meet my dad --"

209
00:07:45,756 --> 00:07:46,966
Oh. Ohhhh.

210
00:07:47,049 --> 00:07:48,092
Ohhh!

211
00:07:48,176 --> 00:07:50,386
Yeah, this is, uh...

212
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:51,929
this is a toughie.

213
00:07:52,013 --> 00:07:53,014
Hmm. Yeah. Okay.

214
00:07:53,097 --> 00:07:54,182
Well, let me look around for some "doy."

215
00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:55,850
Nope! No doy!

216
00:07:55,933 --> 00:07:59,312
Well, do you think that he heard something
about Derek showing up?

217
00:07:59,395 --> 00:08:00,480
No! I didn't tell him anything.

218
00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:03,649
Graham knows zero percent
real things about his dad.

219
00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:05,735
When he was 4,
he started asking questions,

220
00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:07,278
and I panicked and told him that his dad

221
00:08:07,361 --> 00:08:09,447
was a blueberry scientist in Greece.

222
00:08:09,530 --> 00:08:11,449
'Cause you were eating blueberry
Greek yogurt at the time?

223
00:08:11,532 --> 00:08:12,658
Obviously.

224
00:08:14,118 --> 00:08:18,372
Once I give Graham a dad,
he'll be in our lives forever.

225
00:08:18,456 --> 00:08:20,208
And if they meet...

226
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:23,085
what if it doesn't go well?
Or what if it does?

227
00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:26,672
Or what if Graham hates Derek
or Derek hates Graham?

228
00:08:26,756 --> 00:08:28,966
Or what if they team up
and both decide they hate me?

229
00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:30,968
Just because that happened
at your bank and with your co-workers

230
00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:32,178
doesn't mean it'll happen with them.

231
00:08:32,303 --> 00:08:34,388
There are a million things
that could happen,

232
00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:35,890
and I-I can't control any of them.

233
00:08:35,973 --> 00:08:38,726
And right now, I control
every part of Graham's life,

234
00:08:38,809 --> 00:08:42,313
right down to the fact that
his diet is 78% chicken fingers.

235
00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:44,398
- Ang --
- No!

236
00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:47,235
I am sensing some real "open
your heart" vibes right now,

237
00:08:47,318 --> 00:08:48,653
and I don't want to hear it.

238
00:08:48,736 --> 00:08:49,946
What are you doing?

239
00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:51,697
I'm gonna find some snow.

240
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:56,911
♪ Santa baby ♪

241
00:08:56,994 --> 00:09:00,456
You know, Mom, it's moments like this
that I'm glad it's just the two of us.

242
00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:04,585
♪ Been an awful good girl ♪

243
00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:09,799
♪ Santa baby, and hurry down
the chimney tonight ♪

244
00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:14,637
♪ Santa baby ♪

245
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:17,723
Dad, you know what I hate?

246
00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:18,975
Change.

247
00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:22,770
♪ I'll wait up for you, dear ♪

248
00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:24,355
♪ Santa baby ♪

249
00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:28,526
I just don't know where
I'd fit therapy in my schedule.

250
00:09:28,609 --> 00:09:31,404
You know, if I had to...
go for any reason.

251
00:09:31,612 --> 00:09:33,447
♪ Santa cutie ♪

252
00:09:33,531 --> 00:09:36,450
♪ There's one thing I really do need ♪

253
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,622
I'm so glad I have a sister
instead of a brother.

254
00:09:42,331 --> 00:09:43,583
Can you imagine?

255
00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:45,960
♪ ...and hurry down the chimney tonight ♪

256
00:09:47,628 --> 00:09:48,754
♪ And hurry ♪

257
00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:52,717
♪ Tonight ♪

258
00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:54,093
Wow!

259
00:09:54,176 --> 00:09:56,846
You bought him a re-creation
of the Clueless closet?

260
00:09:57,388 --> 00:09:59,348
What? I like that Paul Rudd.

261
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:00,850
His skin doesn't age.

262
00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:03,144
It's not a re-creation, Douglas.
It is the closet.

263
00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:05,021
Had it dug out from a prop house

264
00:10:05,104 --> 00:10:07,523
and hired round-the-clock coders
in the Ukraine to put Rory in it.

265
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:08,608
See?

266
00:10:08,691 --> 00:10:09,900
Whoo!

267
00:10:12,653 --> 00:10:13,988
So cute.

268
00:10:14,071 --> 00:10:15,531
And so expensive.

269
00:10:15,823 --> 00:10:18,492
I've been going hard, too,
with the presents for the girls.

270
00:10:18,576 --> 00:10:22,038
I made a down payment
on a fully operational crane.

271
00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:23,372
Yeah, the dealer hosed me,

272
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,916
but at least it comes
with a 20-foot American flag.

273
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,877
Oh! Emma and Amy are gonna love that.

274
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:30,212
Picking heavy stuff up,
putting heavy stuff down.

275
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:31,339
Maybe I've gone soft,

276
00:10:31,422 --> 00:10:33,841
but I just can't resist
those big, blue peepers.

277
00:10:33,924 --> 00:10:37,428
Today, Emma says to me,
"It's us against the world."

278
00:10:37,511 --> 00:10:38,596
Can you believe that?

279
00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:40,806
Wait a minute.

280
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:43,059
Rory said the exact same thing
to me today.

281
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,103
- Ohh.
- Ohh.

282
00:10:49,857 --> 00:10:51,567
Are we sure this is the look?

283
00:10:52,234 --> 00:10:53,903
My parents would love these pictures,

284
00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:55,571
and that's not what I'm going for.

285
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,281
Hey, maybe we could mix it up.

286
00:10:57,365 --> 00:10:59,825
Miggy, do you know anyone cooler than me?

287
00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:01,369
Where do I live?

288
00:11:01,452 --> 00:11:03,496
In an abandoned doll factory downtown.

289
00:11:03,579 --> 00:11:05,081
Yeah. I know what's hip.

290
00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:09,001
Now, uh, put your fist
under your chin like this.

291
00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:10,169
Oh, come on. Just...

292
00:11:10,252 --> 00:11:11,962
Yeah. Yeah.

293
00:11:12,296 --> 00:11:13,923
Miggy. Miggy!

294
00:11:14,006 --> 00:11:15,925
- Hey.
- Do the kids know we're dating?

295
00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:17,176
Oh, yeah. You guys didn't know?

296
00:11:17,259 --> 00:11:18,636
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my --

297
00:11:18,969 --> 00:11:20,888
- Tony, enact the protocol.
- This is fine.

298
00:11:20,971 --> 00:11:22,765
- Parents date.
- Enact the protocol!

299
00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:24,141
There's a red alert!

300
00:11:25,851 --> 00:11:28,729
I found a receipt for a zero turn mower.

301
00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:30,940
The man's like putty in our hands.

302
00:11:31,023 --> 00:11:34,026
I say we start thinking even bigger.

303
00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:35,194
Oh.

304
00:11:35,277 --> 00:11:36,487
We won't stop until the three of us

305
00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:39,365
are sucking down Shirley T's
on the deck of a Disney Cruise.

306
00:11:43,619 --> 00:11:45,830
Mom. Ah. Look.

307
00:11:45,913 --> 00:11:47,456
It is my beautiful mommy.

308
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:48,666
I --

309
00:11:48,749 --> 00:11:49,917
I wuv you.

310
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:52,628
Save it, Rory Denzel Banks.
We know what you kids have been up to.

311
00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:57,258
{\an8}After all we've done for you,
and this is how you draw us?

312
00:11:59,135 --> 00:12:01,178
Why don't you children take a seat?

313
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:08,394
This place says they have
fake snow on their website.

314
00:12:08,477 --> 00:12:11,439
Although, they did not advertise all
the dirty underwear in the parking lot.

315
00:12:11,522 --> 00:12:14,066
I mean, at this point, fake snow
is better than no snow.

316
00:12:14,191 --> 00:12:15,860
And Graham was born in Las Vegas.

317
00:12:15,943 --> 00:12:16,944
He was? Why?

318
00:12:17,027 --> 00:12:18,904
I was fat and bored and didn't want to be

319
00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:20,614
the only person throwing up on a sidewalk.

320
00:12:20,698 --> 00:12:22,742
Either way, he won't know the difference.

321
00:12:22,825 --> 00:12:24,702
Hello. Good holidays to you.

322
00:12:24,785 --> 00:12:26,912
We're visiting from Los Angeles,

323
00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:28,289
and we're looking for snow.

324
00:12:28,372 --> 00:12:30,583
Then why'd you come to Arrowhead?
It's hot as balls here.

325
00:12:30,666 --> 00:12:32,251
Because he is a weatherman.

326
00:12:32,334 --> 00:12:35,212
A weatherman? That's a great scam, man!

327
00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:37,548
Huh. Wish I'd thought of that one.

328
00:12:37,631 --> 00:12:38,716
Scam?

329
00:12:38,799 --> 00:12:40,843
Because of me, you know when
to put on a raincoat, bitch.

330
00:12:40,926 --> 00:12:42,303
Okay, let's get down to it.

331
00:12:42,386 --> 00:12:43,721
Are you running the snow machine today?

332
00:12:43,846 --> 00:12:45,306
- Nope.
- Well, what if we told you

333
00:12:45,389 --> 00:12:47,391
it'd make a young boy very, very happy?

334
00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:50,144
He's not terminally ill,
but he can be, if it helps.

335
00:12:50,227 --> 00:12:51,437
Mm. No, doesn't help.

336
00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:53,230
It's so hot out,
it's just gonna melt anyway.

337
00:12:53,314 --> 00:12:54,315
It's not worth my goo.

338
00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:56,484
Alright, hey, hey, Angie.

339
00:12:56,817 --> 00:12:59,528
Do you think maybe it might be time

340
00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:01,781
to consider giving Graham
the other thing on his list?

341
00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:04,700
Oh, so we're just handing out daddies
at Christmas now?

342
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:07,036
- And besides, you hate Derek.
- I know.

343
00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:08,746
But you know who else drives me nuts? Mia.

344
00:13:08,829 --> 00:13:11,332
But I'm still glad that Sophie
has a relationship with her mother,

345
00:13:11,415 --> 00:13:13,417
because it adds extra love to her life,

346
00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:15,044
and shouldn't Graham have that, too?

347
00:13:15,586 --> 00:13:17,588
A dog could be extra love.

348
00:13:17,671 --> 00:13:19,423
Or maybe a really heavy weighted blanket.

349
00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:24,136
Angie, you can get Graham snow
or toys or vacations

350
00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:26,597
or a really high-quality sweater shaver,

351
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:28,224
which is what's on my list this year.

352
00:13:28,307 --> 00:13:31,393
But eventually, he is
gonna want to meet his dad,

353
00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:35,272
and if you want to control
when and where...

354
00:13:35,356 --> 00:13:37,316
now might not be a bad time.

355
00:13:39,985 --> 00:13:41,946
Okay. Yeah.

356
00:13:42,029 --> 00:13:43,572
Message received.

357
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:46,450
I just...need a minute
to marinate on it, okay?

358
00:13:46,534 --> 00:13:47,618
Of course.

359
00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:50,079
Hey, uh, you like purple?

360
00:13:50,162 --> 00:13:52,081
'Cause, uh, if I don't move these trees,

361
00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:53,958
I'm gonna have to
get back into gift card fraud.

362
00:13:54,041 --> 00:13:56,961
Unfortunately, I'm more of
a traditional greens guy myself.

363
00:13:57,044 --> 00:14:00,422
You know, I would love
to get into the weather racket.

364
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:02,049
I mean, talk about easy cash.

365
00:14:02,132 --> 00:14:03,467
H-H-How do you get into that game?

366
00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:05,719
I refuse to get in my second
fistfight ever during Christmas.

367
00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:07,555
Everybody! Get in!

368
00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:09,723
Wait! That's my snow machine!

369
00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:11,350
Mom's gone crazy!

370
00:14:11,433 --> 00:14:13,018
Does this count as kidnapping?

371
00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:14,937
- Angie, what the hell are you doing?!
- Just get in!

372
00:14:15,437 --> 00:14:16,522
Diversion!

373
00:14:22,820 --> 00:14:24,822
Merry freakin' Christmas!

374
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,450
Snow!

375
00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:29,785
Snow!

376
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:31,620
Snow, damn it!

377
00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:32,746
Argh!

378
00:14:33,789 --> 00:14:35,124
Hey! Will, come on.

379
00:14:35,207 --> 00:14:37,209
Kick it. Kick it for Graham.

380
00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:38,627
I'm not gonna kick it, Angie.

381
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:40,004
We are fugitives.

382
00:14:40,087 --> 00:14:42,464
Before today, my car has
only been used for good.

383
00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:43,716
You sullied the Honda.

384
00:14:43,799 --> 00:14:44,967
This is your fault.

385
00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:46,135
You brought us here,

386
00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:48,220
and if this thing doesn't start
pooping out snow soon,

387
00:14:48,304 --> 00:14:50,472
I'm not gonna pay you back for the cabin.

388
00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:52,057
You already told me you weren't.

389
00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:54,977
I'm gonna go wash down this petty theft
with some hot cocoa!

390
00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:56,937
Just because we're criminals
doesn't mean we can't be comfy.

391
00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:58,522
- I'll take one.
- Do you want marshmallows?

392
00:14:58,606 --> 00:15:00,190
- Yes, please.
- I'll be back!

393
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:02,610
Mom?

394
00:15:02,985 --> 00:15:05,404
May I talk to you for a second?

395
00:15:05,487 --> 00:15:08,157
Or are you too busy kicking
your stolen snow machine?

396
00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:09,491
Wha-- Stolen?

397
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:11,118
This? Wha?

398
00:15:11,201 --> 00:15:13,412
You think I don't know
our house is full of hot goods?

399
00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:17,124
And it's clear
you read my letter to Santa.

400
00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:20,461
Busted.

401
00:15:23,047 --> 00:15:26,675
I-I just wanted to give you
the best Christmas ever, buddy.

402
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:28,302
I get it.

403
00:15:28,385 --> 00:15:31,972
I mean...it's not like
we can rely on Santa.

404
00:15:32,056 --> 00:15:35,100
I ask him if I can meet my dad every year,

405
00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:36,769
but it never happens.

406
00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:38,312
You do?

407
00:15:39,063 --> 00:15:40,648
You ask him every year?

408
00:15:40,731 --> 00:15:41,982
Yeah.

409
00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:44,443
Even Santa can't make my dad
want to meet me.

410
00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:46,195
No.

411
00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:47,821
Graham.

412
00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:51,200
I-I know it may not seem like it,

413
00:15:51,283 --> 00:15:53,535
but your dad actually --

414
00:15:56,914 --> 00:15:57,957
She did it!

415
00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:01,877
How dare you three
manipulate us for presents!

416
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,170
How dare us?

417
00:16:03,253 --> 00:16:05,506
How dare you!

418
00:16:05,589 --> 00:16:08,300
You've never kept a secret
from us before, Dad.

419
00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:09,760
Oh, that's what you think.

420
00:16:09,843 --> 00:16:13,347
My dream is that in your old age,
you'll look at each other and say,

421
00:16:13,430 --> 00:16:15,557
"In the end,
I knew nothing about that man."

422
00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:19,103
Well, we know you two
were kissing in our driveway.

423
00:16:19,186 --> 00:16:21,397
Okay, look, we don't have to
define our relationship

424
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:22,898
for you guys, okay?

425
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:24,942
We haven't even...
defined it for each other.

426
00:16:25,025 --> 00:16:26,110
That's right.

427
00:16:26,193 --> 00:16:28,654
We live in a bubble, and it's very nice.

428
00:16:28,737 --> 00:16:30,030
A bubble?

429
00:16:30,114 --> 00:16:32,157
What kind of cop-out is that?

430
00:16:33,409 --> 00:16:36,286
My mom deserves more
than some shadow relationship.

431
00:16:36,370 --> 00:16:38,330
Do you two love each other or not?

432
00:16:43,961 --> 00:16:45,421
Hello?

433
00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:47,006
Okay. Yes.

434
00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:48,257
A shiv?

435
00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:49,341
Okay.

436
00:16:49,425 --> 00:16:51,051
W-- We'll be right there.

437
00:16:51,135 --> 00:16:53,012
Well, that's a call
I always knew I would get.

438
00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:56,765
It's time to bail
Cooper and D'Amato out of jail.

439
00:16:57,182 --> 00:16:59,184
Move it! Let's hustle.

440
00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:01,770
Okay, now let's get one
in front of my little buddies.

441
00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:04,231
No! I draw the line at little buddies.

442
00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:05,733
Homily, this isn't me.

443
00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:07,443
I know you're the coolest chick
on the planet,

444
00:17:07,526 --> 00:17:10,446
but your Christmas card ideas
are corny as hell.

445
00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:11,613
Wow.

446
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:12,906
Wow, Miggy.

447
00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:14,241
You know, I have to say...

448
00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:18,662
it is really sexy
that you stood up for yourself just now.

449
00:17:18,746 --> 00:17:19,997
You're not mad?

450
00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:21,790
No, of course not. Art is subjective.

451
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:22,916
That --

452
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,001
That is the whole point.

453
00:17:24,084 --> 00:17:25,711
Your pictures ain't art, girl.

454
00:17:25,794 --> 00:17:27,254
Hey, where are you guys going?

455
00:17:27,337 --> 00:17:28,464
Cooper and D'Amato got locked up.

456
00:17:28,547 --> 00:17:29,757
Oh, I am not missing this.

457
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:30,966
Come on, come on.

458
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,720
- Oh, is it cool if we bounce?
- Yes. Have fun.

459
00:17:34,803 --> 00:17:36,972
I'll see you at my Non-Denominational
Winter Cookie Party.

460
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:38,057
Dope.

461
00:17:40,768 --> 00:17:42,311
Come on, little buddies.

462
00:17:42,394 --> 00:17:44,146
Let's take one with Mommy!

463
00:17:44,229 --> 00:17:46,565
Pronstroller. Get the hell
out of my house.

464
00:17:48,859 --> 00:17:50,527
I can't believe
to get the charges dropped,

465
00:17:50,611 --> 00:17:52,988
I had to buy two dozen
purple Christmas trees.

466
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:54,198
I love them.

467
00:17:54,281 --> 00:17:56,158
They're the Rory of trees.

468
00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:59,119
I gotta say,
mountain jail was kind of fun.

469
00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:02,581
I helped someone make a knife
out of a plastic fork.

470
00:18:02,664 --> 00:18:03,874
Terrific.

471
00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:06,043
Graham? Hey.

472
00:18:06,126 --> 00:18:07,503
Can I talk to you for a minute?

473
00:18:08,253 --> 00:18:11,840
If it's about what I saw in the pokey,
I'm processing it pretty well.

474
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:13,425
Even that pregnant lady.

475
00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:14,551
Oh. No.

476
00:18:14,635 --> 00:18:15,928
Uh...

477
00:18:18,013 --> 00:18:20,349
I just wanted to let you know that...

478
00:18:20,432 --> 00:18:23,310
unlike snow in California...

479
00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:27,940
...meeting your dad isn't impossible.

480
00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:30,776
Yeah, right.

481
00:18:30,859 --> 00:18:32,402
No, Graham.

482
00:18:32,486 --> 00:18:35,405
It's not true that your dad
doesn't want to meet you.

483
00:18:35,489 --> 00:18:40,077
I've been in contact with him lately,
and it's actually the opposite.

484
00:18:40,494 --> 00:18:41,578
Really?

485
00:18:41,662 --> 00:18:42,704
Yeah.

486
00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:45,624
So, when we get back,

487
00:18:45,707 --> 00:18:47,918
let's make a plan for you two to meet.

488
00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:51,630
Thank you, Mom.

489
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:55,134
Oh, man.

490
00:18:55,217 --> 00:18:57,010
I gotta practice my Greek.

491
00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:03,100
Hey. Nice work.

492
00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:05,769
Welcome to the terrifying world

493
00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:07,855
of not being the only adult
in your child's life.

494
00:19:07,938 --> 00:19:09,273
Thank you.

495
00:19:09,356 --> 00:19:11,316
Although, you're an adult in his life.

496
00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:14,361
And that's... been pretty great, actually.

497
00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:16,613
For both of us.

498
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,032
Ditto.

499
00:19:19,783 --> 00:19:21,410
Oh, my God! Snow!

500
00:19:23,871 --> 00:19:26,748
- Oh, my God!
- It's magical.

501
00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:27,958
Hello, old friend.

502
00:19:28,041 --> 00:19:29,626
Oh, that's snow.

503
00:19:29,710 --> 00:19:30,711
Let's get out there!

504
00:19:30,794 --> 00:19:31,795
Yeah!

505
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:38,343
-You're gonna eat my snow!
-No, you're gonna eat my snow now!

506
00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:40,804
Oh, these L.A. kids don't know snow.

507
00:19:40,888 --> 00:19:42,181
Every year in Buffalo,

508
00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:44,266
we'd lose at least
three children in a drift.

509
00:19:44,349 --> 00:19:46,143
Now, that was snow.

510
00:19:46,226 --> 00:19:48,270
God, I love hearing about your childhood.

511
00:19:50,689 --> 00:19:53,567
Hey, I hope the kids
didn't put you in your head.

512
00:19:53,650 --> 00:19:56,069
You know, how and when we choose
to define this relationship

513
00:19:56,153 --> 00:19:57,571
is completely up to us.

514
00:19:57,654 --> 00:19:59,364
- We can stay in the bubble --
- I love you.

515
00:20:04,328 --> 00:20:05,829
I love you, Poppy.

516
00:20:06,997 --> 00:20:09,833
And, uh... I think the kids are right.

517
00:20:10,542 --> 00:20:12,711
Because when you feel this way
about someone,

518
00:20:12,794 --> 00:20:15,297
you want the whole world
to be your bubble.

519
00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:18,050
I...

520
00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:21,345
I love you, too.

521
00:20:21,428 --> 00:20:24,056
- Yeah?
- Yeah.

522
00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:26,058
Come here.

523
00:20:26,475 --> 00:20:28,060
Mm!

524
00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:33,315
Okay, so, is nobody
gonna thank me for this?

525
00:20:33,732 --> 00:20:35,734
Alright, well, how about
a quick 10-day forecast, then?

526
00:20:35,817 --> 00:20:37,986
Y'all are gonna be
kissing my butt on Monday,

527
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:39,863
y'all are gonna be
kissing my butt on Tuesday,

528
00:20:39,947 --> 00:20:41,323
and you're gonna be kissing my butt

529
00:20:41,406 --> 00:20:44,618
all the way through the weekend,
because there's snow!

530
00:20:44,701 --> 00:20:48,413
Being a weatherman is the
closest thing to being a god.

531
00:20:49,998 --> 00:20:53,794
{\an8}

532
00:20:53,877 --> 00:20:59,925
{\an8}♪♪

533
00:21:00,008 --> 00:21:02,094
{\an8}Hey, hey, everybody! Circle up! Circle up!

534
00:21:02,177 --> 00:21:05,097
{\an8}♪♪

535
00:21:05,347 --> 00:21:06,848
{\an8}Thank you.

536
00:21:06,932 --> 00:21:10,435
{\an8}♪♪

537
00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:11,770
{\an8}

538
00:21:11,853 --> 00:21:13,438
{\an8}

539
00:21:13,522 --> 00:21:17,442
{\an8}♪♪

540
00:21:17,693 --> 00:21:18,902
{\an8}Oh, yeah.

541
00:21:18,986 --> 00:21:20,153
{\an8}That's the one.

542
00:21:20,237 --> 00:21:21,405
{\an8}That's me.

543
00:21:21,488 --> 00:21:24,616
{\an8}♪♪