1 00:00:02,611 --> 00:00:05,135 [ Bell rings ]And there you have it, folks. 2 00:00:05,179 --> 00:00:07,268 A laminated piece of paper. 3 00:00:07,311 --> 00:00:09,531 A++ math test not included. 4 00:00:09,574 --> 00:00:11,707 Pronstroller: Thank you, Sophie. 5 00:00:11,750 --> 00:00:13,970 Couldn't you bring something normal to Show and Tell? 6 00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:15,319 Yeah, like a ham. 7 00:00:15,363 --> 00:00:17,626 How is a ham normal? 8 00:00:17,669 --> 00:00:18,931 Nice comeback, Miss Perfect. 9 00:00:18,975 --> 00:00:20,455 I'm not perfect. 10 00:00:20,498 --> 00:00:22,935 Uh, Graham, you're up. 11 00:00:22,979 --> 00:00:24,763 [ Exhales sharply ] 12 00:00:24,807 --> 00:00:28,115 Wait till you see what I found in Douglas' study. 13 00:00:28,158 --> 00:00:30,552 Hang on to your butts, my babies. 14 00:00:30,595 --> 00:00:33,424 I got a hot potato. 15 00:00:33,468 --> 00:00:36,340 As some of you may know, my house recently burned down. 16 00:00:36,384 --> 00:00:39,126 All: Oooh. 17 00:00:39,169 --> 00:00:42,694 And afterwards, I began living in an old man's sauna. 18 00:00:42,738 --> 00:00:44,305 All: Oooh. 19 00:00:44,348 --> 00:00:46,350 Graham, I don't have space to take that on emotionally. 20 00:00:46,394 --> 00:00:48,961 My bad, Ms. Pronstroller. 21 00:00:49,005 --> 00:00:53,705 Anyway, I ended up finding this box in his private study. 22 00:00:53,749 --> 00:00:57,448 What you're about to see is scary, confusing, 23 00:00:57,492 --> 00:00:58,971 and -- at least in my case -- 24 00:00:59,015 --> 00:01:02,236 might make you faint and wake up in the backyard. 25 00:01:02,279 --> 00:01:04,151 ♪♪ 26 00:01:04,194 --> 00:01:07,110 [ Students murmuring ] 27 00:01:08,764 --> 00:01:11,680 So... 28 00:01:11,723 --> 00:01:14,726 [ Speaking indistinctly ]No. No. No! 29 00:01:14,770 --> 00:01:16,250 No! No! N-- 30 00:01:16,293 --> 00:01:18,469 [ School bell rings ] 31 00:01:18,513 --> 00:01:19,992 You ever think how lucky we are 32 00:01:20,036 --> 00:01:21,298 to be livingin Southern California? 33 00:01:21,342 --> 00:01:23,039 This school's on a fault line. 34 00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:24,954 The slightest tremor, the earth will swallow our children. 35 00:01:24,997 --> 00:01:25,998 Angie: Douglas! 36 00:01:26,042 --> 00:01:28,392 Care to explain this? 37 00:01:28,436 --> 00:01:29,741 Okay. Porn.Porn on the playground. 38 00:01:29,785 --> 00:01:30,786 Porn on the playground. 39 00:01:30,829 --> 00:01:32,135 Children! 40 00:01:32,179 --> 00:01:34,355 ♪ And we're looking over here 41 00:01:34,398 --> 00:01:36,183 ♪ And we're looking over here ♪ 42 00:01:36,226 --> 00:01:39,142 ♪ Whatever you do, don't stop looking over here ♪ 43 00:01:39,186 --> 00:01:42,624 --Captions by VITAC-- 44 00:01:42,667 --> 00:01:44,495 [ Wolf-whistle] 45 00:01:44,539 --> 00:01:46,410 You know, this isall your fault, Douglas! 46 00:01:46,454 --> 00:01:48,586 Why would you have your smutlying around our house?! 47 00:01:48,630 --> 00:01:51,372 Myhouse. And I should be the angry one. 48 00:01:51,415 --> 00:01:53,069 These magazines were near-mint, 49 00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:54,549 and now Graham got 50 00:01:54,592 --> 00:01:56,551 his Cheeto-dust fingers all over them. 51 00:01:56,594 --> 00:01:58,074 Now the whole collection's worthless. 52 00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:01,208 Keep your porn on a thumb drive 53 00:02:01,251 --> 00:02:03,862 hidden in a ziplock bagsubmerged in shampoolike a normal person. 54 00:02:03,906 --> 00:02:07,431 I'm too rich to be aroused by digital pornography. 55 00:02:07,475 --> 00:02:09,259 A-A-And what kind of parent doesn't know 56 00:02:09,303 --> 00:02:11,043 what their kid's hoarding in their backpack? 57 00:02:11,087 --> 00:02:12,393 A bad one! 58 00:02:12,436 --> 00:02:13,437 Wait, no.I accidentally walked into that. 59 00:02:13,481 --> 00:02:15,613 No, take back! Take back! 60 00:02:15,657 --> 00:02:18,442 Don't make me outto be a bad mom, Douglas. 61 00:02:18,486 --> 00:02:20,836 He found yournudie mags, 62 00:02:20,879 --> 00:02:23,055 and now he needs me to talk himthrough what they all mean. 63 00:02:23,099 --> 00:02:24,883 That's right, you jerks. 64 00:02:24,927 --> 00:02:28,713 I am going to give himThe Talk. 65 00:02:30,454 --> 00:02:32,804 [ Door closes ]Watch and learn, Douglas. 66 00:02:34,110 --> 00:02:37,244 Mom...am I a criminal? 67 00:02:37,287 --> 00:02:40,769 Ms. Pronstroller saidI'm a pornography distributor. 68 00:02:40,812 --> 00:02:42,988 Technically, yes, I guess, 69 00:02:43,032 --> 00:02:44,642 but, you know, she's a public schoolteacher. 70 00:02:44,686 --> 00:02:46,992 [ Scoffs ] What's so great about her life? 71 00:02:47,036 --> 00:02:48,342 Why am I in trouble? 72 00:02:48,385 --> 00:02:50,474 Are naked women bad? 73 00:02:50,518 --> 00:02:52,824 How else does the storkknow where to put the baby? 74 00:02:52,868 --> 00:02:53,869 Excuse me? 75 00:02:53,912 --> 00:02:55,305 Keep up, Dubs. 76 00:02:55,349 --> 00:02:57,264 Storks fly around at night, 77 00:02:57,307 --> 00:02:59,004 and if you're laying downand making a lot of noise, 78 00:02:59,048 --> 00:03:00,484 they give you a baby. 79 00:03:00,528 --> 00:03:02,051 [ Sighs ] Sweetie, let's go home 80 00:03:02,094 --> 00:03:04,271 and have a mother-son conversation. 81 00:03:04,314 --> 00:03:05,794 I'm gonna stop you right there. 82 00:03:05,837 --> 00:03:08,275 I think I need my bros for this one. 83 00:03:08,318 --> 00:03:10,625 Your bros? Who are your bros? 84 00:03:10,668 --> 00:03:12,279 My mighty oaks. 85 00:03:12,322 --> 00:03:14,324 Will and Douglas. 86 00:03:14,368 --> 00:03:17,066 Oh. Okay. 87 00:03:17,109 --> 00:03:18,372 You need your mighty oaks. 88 00:03:18,415 --> 00:03:20,461 More than you need your mom. 89 00:03:20,504 --> 00:03:22,114 Luhh dat. 90 00:03:22,158 --> 00:03:25,596 Graham, I would be honored. 91 00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:27,250 Take my branch? 92 00:03:27,294 --> 00:03:31,298 ♪♪ 93 00:03:31,341 --> 00:03:32,821 I don't do the branch thing. 94 00:03:32,864 --> 00:03:35,171 ♪♪ 95 00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:36,738 Miggy: Yo, Rory, 96 00:03:36,781 --> 00:03:37,826 we're excited to seeyour outfit! 97 00:03:37,869 --> 00:03:39,393 You almost ready? 98 00:03:39,436 --> 00:03:41,133 Rory: There's no almost. I'm ready when I'm ready! 99 00:03:41,177 --> 00:03:42,657 Okay.Why is he freaking out? 100 00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:44,746 It's just kids hanging at Yogurt Spot. 101 00:03:44,789 --> 00:03:48,271 We go there every year after the Winter Recital. 102 00:03:48,315 --> 00:03:50,491 Who cares? 103 00:03:50,534 --> 00:03:53,320 Rory does. For him, it'sthe fashion event of the season. 104 00:03:53,363 --> 00:03:54,451 He says what you wear to Yogurt Spot 105 00:03:54,495 --> 00:03:56,279 defines you for the rest of the year. 106 00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:58,194 It's his Oscars. 107 00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,282 Rory: No, the Emmys are my Oscars, 108 00:03:59,326 --> 00:04:00,762 Fashion Week is my Tonys, 109 00:04:00,805 --> 00:04:02,416 and Yogurt Spot is my Met Gala. 110 00:04:02,459 --> 00:04:04,113 Now, stop talking... 111 00:04:04,156 --> 00:04:06,985 and enjoy me.All: Ooh! 112 00:04:07,029 --> 00:04:08,291 Ooh! Yeah. 113 00:04:08,335 --> 00:04:11,207 2000s pop meets War on Terror. 114 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,557 And custom patchworkby Miggy. 115 00:04:13,601 --> 00:04:15,907 [ Laughs ]We collaborated on the 'fit. 116 00:04:15,951 --> 00:04:16,952 Now, give me some. 117 00:04:16,995 --> 00:04:18,562 Did we collaborate? 118 00:04:18,606 --> 00:04:20,129 I mean, I told you where to bedazzle, and you did. 119 00:04:20,172 --> 00:04:22,566 Why do I have to be smallfor you to be big? 120 00:04:22,610 --> 00:04:24,612 Hey, Miggy, come here for a sec. 121 00:04:26,396 --> 00:04:28,137 Does Amy look a little down to you? 122 00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:30,008 Mm. It's just now thatI'm dating their dad, 123 00:04:30,052 --> 00:04:32,446 I want to get to know the twins as individuals, you know? 124 00:04:32,489 --> 00:04:33,534 [ Inhales sharply ]Ooh, not a good idea. 125 00:04:33,577 --> 00:04:36,450 Getting to know the girlscan only lead to trouble. 126 00:04:36,493 --> 00:04:37,668 [ Whispering ] They tricked me 127 00:04:37,712 --> 00:04:39,757 into letting themdrive on the highway. 128 00:04:44,458 --> 00:04:45,459 Hey. 129 00:04:45,502 --> 00:04:47,025 Everything okay, Amy? 130 00:04:47,069 --> 00:04:49,767 I guess I've been kind of bummedsince Sears went under. 131 00:04:49,811 --> 00:04:51,465 Okay. 132 00:04:51,508 --> 00:04:53,684 I was thinking maybe something more recent and personal. 133 00:04:53,728 --> 00:04:55,773 Well... 134 00:04:55,817 --> 00:04:58,515 everyone's dressing upfor Yogurt Spot, 135 00:04:58,559 --> 00:05:00,561 and I'm wearing this. 136 00:05:00,604 --> 00:05:03,172 Oh. Well, let's find you an outfit of your own. 137 00:05:03,215 --> 00:05:04,695 Maybe something less... 138 00:05:04,739 --> 00:05:06,958 1992 Disneyland tram driver. 139 00:05:07,002 --> 00:05:09,570 But Emma and I agreed on chinos. 140 00:05:09,613 --> 00:05:12,268 She wouldn't likeif I tried something new. 141 00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:14,444 Look, Emma's your sister. She's gonna support you. 142 00:05:14,488 --> 00:05:17,752 Let me help you find an outfit that screams "Amy Fogerty." 143 00:05:17,795 --> 00:05:21,712 I'm telling you, Poppy,you don't understand. 144 00:05:21,756 --> 00:05:24,149 She's very controlling. 145 00:05:24,193 --> 00:05:26,238 Amy, roll your sleeves down. 146 00:05:26,282 --> 00:05:27,544 You look like a grocer. 147 00:05:27,588 --> 00:05:31,374 ♪♪ 148 00:05:31,418 --> 00:05:34,377 I mean, it's not my faultI only get A's. 149 00:05:34,421 --> 00:05:35,596 Our classis graded on a curve 150 00:05:35,639 --> 00:05:37,859 and, well,you've seen my classmates. 151 00:05:37,902 --> 00:05:39,426 Anyway, I can tellyou're not listening to me. 152 00:05:39,469 --> 00:05:40,731 Yeah, yeah, life is wild. 153 00:05:40,775 --> 00:05:43,255 Uh, do you think I'm a bad mom? 154 00:05:43,299 --> 00:05:44,648 Of course not. 155 00:05:44,692 --> 00:05:46,215 I love shopping with you. 156 00:05:46,258 --> 00:05:48,260 We never even go nearthe produce aisle. 157 00:05:48,304 --> 00:05:49,392 Just junk food. 158 00:05:49,436 --> 00:05:51,438 Hello? I got peanut butter pretzels. 159 00:05:51,481 --> 00:05:53,744 That's nuts and grains, dumb-dumb. 160 00:05:53,788 --> 00:05:57,052 Oh, wait,time for a little dip! 161 00:05:58,358 --> 00:05:59,533 Ma'am, we've told you before, 162 00:05:59,576 --> 00:06:00,882 you can't eat food out of the bins. 163 00:06:00,925 --> 00:06:02,666 It's sampling. 164 00:06:02,710 --> 00:06:03,885 It's shoplifting. 165 00:06:03,928 --> 00:06:05,190 Angie, you know 166 00:06:05,234 --> 00:06:06,627 you're banned from the bulk foods area. 167 00:06:06,670 --> 00:06:08,759 Come on, Steve.I've been really low lately. 168 00:06:08,803 --> 00:06:10,848 Can't you just cut me a break? 169 00:06:10,892 --> 00:06:12,546 I have to do my job. 170 00:06:12,589 --> 00:06:14,069 This game of cat and mouse is killing me. 171 00:06:14,112 --> 00:06:16,811 Fine. 172 00:06:16,854 --> 00:06:19,901 I'll escort myself out. 173 00:06:19,944 --> 00:06:22,425 Enjoy being singlethe rest of your life, Steve.What? 174 00:06:22,469 --> 00:06:23,992 [ Woman speaks indistinctly over P.A. system ] 175 00:06:24,035 --> 00:06:25,820 You could've had all this. 176 00:06:27,517 --> 00:06:30,651 Listen, parents shouldn't talkto their kids about sex. 177 00:06:30,694 --> 00:06:32,000 I never got a talk. 178 00:06:32,043 --> 00:06:33,610 Everything turned out great. 179 00:06:33,654 --> 00:06:37,092 I was minding my own businessone night, 180 00:06:37,135 --> 00:06:40,487 using a slide rule to performlong division, 181 00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:42,576 when my father,without explanation, 182 00:06:42,619 --> 00:06:45,230 slid something under my door. 183 00:06:45,274 --> 00:06:46,884 A dirty flip book. 184 00:06:46,928 --> 00:06:49,844 A racy thrillfrom a simpler time. 185 00:06:49,887 --> 00:06:51,715 A time when people would drop dead 186 00:06:51,759 --> 00:06:54,675 if they left their window openon a cold night. 187 00:06:54,718 --> 00:06:59,462 So a naked dancing ladywent a long way. 188 00:06:59,506 --> 00:07:03,031 It was the fondest memoryof my old man. 189 00:07:03,074 --> 00:07:06,034 And also how I developedjuvenile arthritis in my thumb. 190 00:07:06,077 --> 00:07:07,818 Alright, this iswhat we got to do -- 191 00:07:07,862 --> 00:07:10,560 we got to give Grahamthe nudie magazines. 192 00:07:10,604 --> 00:07:11,735 We say nothing. 193 00:07:11,779 --> 00:07:13,302 We let him work it outon his own. 194 00:07:13,345 --> 00:07:16,566 Your father was super creepy and irresponsible. 195 00:07:16,610 --> 00:07:18,263 Luckily, my father gave me a sex talk 196 00:07:18,307 --> 00:07:20,091 that was absolutely gorgeous. 197 00:07:20,135 --> 00:07:23,617 Gross.It left me feeling empowered and fearless, 198 00:07:23,660 --> 00:07:26,141 but respectful of the beauty of human sexual congress. 199 00:07:26,184 --> 00:07:27,534 You're vile. 200 00:07:27,577 --> 00:07:29,144 And why did I have such a great talk? 201 00:07:29,187 --> 00:07:32,713 Because my father was a middle school health teacher. 202 00:07:32,756 --> 00:07:36,107 That is the Rosetta stoneof your entire personality. 203 00:07:36,151 --> 00:07:38,283 Yep. Mrs. Hawthorne would teach all the girls, 204 00:07:38,327 --> 00:07:39,502 and then my dad would teach the boys, 205 00:07:39,546 --> 00:07:40,851 and we'd all come together 206 00:07:40,895 --> 00:07:43,506 for state-mandated square-dancing lessons. 207 00:07:43,550 --> 00:07:46,640 My father is my hero and a paragon of sexual health. 208 00:07:46,683 --> 00:07:50,513 He did for sex talks what Mr. Rogers did for dog death. 209 00:07:50,557 --> 00:07:52,733 Sounds like a glass of skim milkcome to life. 210 00:07:52,776 --> 00:07:54,909 Well, my parents have been married for 40 years. 211 00:07:54,952 --> 00:07:56,301 I guess they're doing something right. 212 00:07:56,345 --> 00:07:58,129 And where are we landing here? 213 00:07:58,173 --> 00:08:00,175 We are going to perfectly recreate 214 00:08:00,218 --> 00:08:02,351 the experience my father gave mefor Graham. So... 215 00:08:02,394 --> 00:08:03,787 [ Bag zips ]...do you want to drive? 216 00:08:03,831 --> 00:08:04,788 Drive? 217 00:08:04,832 --> 00:08:06,094 To a secondary location? 218 00:08:06,137 --> 00:08:08,183 Like a murderer? Yeah. 219 00:08:08,226 --> 00:08:10,141 'Cause we're gonna murder this sex talk. 220 00:08:10,185 --> 00:08:11,882 And like a murderer, 221 00:08:11,926 --> 00:08:14,319 I have already picked out the perfect location -- 222 00:08:14,363 --> 00:08:16,626 a place pulsating with testosterone, 223 00:08:16,670 --> 00:08:18,541 where men can be men, 224 00:08:18,585 --> 00:08:21,588 where the power of the human body is on full display. 225 00:08:21,631 --> 00:08:24,112 [ Disco music plays ] 226 00:08:24,155 --> 00:08:27,724 ♪♪ 227 00:08:27,768 --> 00:08:31,249 ♪♪ 228 00:08:31,293 --> 00:08:32,381 [ Laughs ] 229 00:08:34,644 --> 00:08:35,863 Hi, Douglas! 230 00:08:38,866 --> 00:08:40,476 We wouldn't be friends if we didn't have kids! 231 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:41,999 That I know! 232 00:08:45,568 --> 00:08:48,571 [ Disco music plays ] 233 00:08:48,615 --> 00:08:49,572 ♪♪ 234 00:08:49,616 --> 00:08:51,792 Ha-ha! 235 00:08:51,835 --> 00:08:53,010 Graham: Heck yeah. 236 00:08:53,054 --> 00:08:54,664 Now, that's a workout. 237 00:08:54,708 --> 00:08:55,709 Yeah. Got to get that blood pumping 238 00:08:55,752 --> 00:08:58,668 before we sit down for our age-appropriate talk. 239 00:08:58,712 --> 00:09:01,366 You know, my dad brought me to this very roller rink 240 00:09:01,410 --> 00:09:03,064 before he sat me down to have the same talk. 241 00:09:03,107 --> 00:09:04,718 Good man, I'm sure. 242 00:09:04,761 --> 00:09:06,720 And now he's with the angels. 243 00:09:06,763 --> 00:09:09,592 Uh, no, he's a 67-year-old retiree 244 00:09:09,636 --> 00:09:10,985 living in a planned community in Reseda, 245 00:09:11,028 --> 00:09:12,813 but I appreciate the sentiment. 246 00:09:12,856 --> 00:09:16,991 Now, what do you say we load upon some nachos and dive in, huh? 247 00:09:17,034 --> 00:09:18,819 An uncreased ten? 248 00:09:18,862 --> 00:09:20,472 Now you've got my attention. 249 00:09:20,516 --> 00:09:22,170 [ Chuckles ] 250 00:09:22,213 --> 00:09:24,433 See? Look at how happy that boy is. 251 00:09:24,476 --> 00:09:26,696 My father's plan is working. 252 00:09:26,740 --> 00:09:28,655 You excite the body, you sate the hunger 253 00:09:28,698 --> 00:09:30,395 before launching into a deep dive 254 00:09:30,439 --> 00:09:31,919 on the wonders of human genitals. 255 00:09:34,051 --> 00:09:36,314 Were you gonna skate? 256 00:09:36,358 --> 00:09:41,406 ♪♪ 257 00:09:41,450 --> 00:09:42,973 My father's textbook. 258 00:09:43,017 --> 00:09:44,671 I snagged it the dayMia got pregnant. 259 00:09:44,714 --> 00:09:46,673 I always knew that one day,I would use this book 260 00:09:46,716 --> 00:09:47,891 to teach my son -- 261 00:09:47,935 --> 00:09:49,632 or my friend's son --about sex. 262 00:09:49,676 --> 00:09:51,242 I feel we're gonna be leaving here 263 00:09:51,286 --> 00:09:52,548 in the back of a cop car. 264 00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:53,636 Oh, man. 265 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,986 This is bringing backa lot of memories. 266 00:09:56,030 --> 00:09:57,640 Each chapter is a jewel. 267 00:09:57,684 --> 00:09:58,815 Look,"When Showers Get Longer." 268 00:09:58,859 --> 00:10:00,208 "Hair There Now." 269 00:10:00,251 --> 00:10:01,862 "Mom, You Gotta Knock." 270 00:10:01,905 --> 00:10:03,907 "Secretions." 271 00:10:03,951 --> 00:10:05,822 What is this? 272 00:10:05,866 --> 00:10:07,694 "Dear Bud." 273 00:10:07,737 --> 00:10:08,999 My dad's name's Bud. 274 00:10:09,043 --> 00:10:11,306 Like a golden retriever. It tracks. 275 00:10:11,349 --> 00:10:13,743 "I can't wait for youto rip my" -- 276 00:10:13,787 --> 00:10:16,354 Oh. Oh. 277 00:10:16,398 --> 00:10:18,574 [ Chuckles ] Language getsa little graphic after that. 278 00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:21,708 I think this a love letterwritten by my mother. 279 00:10:21,751 --> 00:10:25,233 I mean, the handwriting'sa little different. 280 00:10:25,276 --> 00:10:26,713 She was probablyon the back of a bumpy bus 281 00:10:26,756 --> 00:10:27,714 when she wrote this. 282 00:10:27,757 --> 00:10:28,715 It's so cute. 283 00:10:28,758 --> 00:10:30,455 Uh, I-I don't know how to say this, 284 00:10:30,499 --> 00:10:34,329 but I'm hoping this is a naked picture of your mother. 285 00:10:34,372 --> 00:10:36,374 Mrs. Hawthorne? 286 00:10:36,418 --> 00:10:38,159 The female health teacher? 287 00:10:38,202 --> 00:10:40,944 Oh, my God. I was actually paying attention to you. 288 00:10:40,988 --> 00:10:42,293 Th-- That means my dad... 289 00:10:42,337 --> 00:10:43,338 was a cheater. 290 00:10:45,775 --> 00:10:46,776 Terrible thing. 291 00:10:46,820 --> 00:10:49,039 Shameful. 292 00:10:49,083 --> 00:10:50,911 I don't know. 293 00:10:50,954 --> 00:10:52,390 I mean, maybe I'm being hardon myself. 294 00:10:52,434 --> 00:10:54,828 I just feel like the worst mom ever. 295 00:10:54,871 --> 00:10:55,698 Oh, marshmallowsgo on the top shelf. 296 00:10:55,742 --> 00:10:57,352 Let me knowif you need a ladder. 297 00:10:57,395 --> 00:10:58,832 Don't beat yourself up. 298 00:10:58,875 --> 00:11:00,485 How can I not? 299 00:11:00,529 --> 00:11:01,965 And the facts don't lie. 300 00:11:02,009 --> 00:11:03,271 My son got suspended, 301 00:11:03,314 --> 00:11:05,534 we're livingin a windowless hot room 302 00:11:05,577 --> 00:11:06,709 because I burned our house down, 303 00:11:06,753 --> 00:11:08,102 and look -- 304 00:11:08,145 --> 00:11:11,105 I bought cat foodthinking it was tuna. 305 00:11:11,148 --> 00:11:13,934 And, Sophie,I'm gonna feed this to Graham. 306 00:11:13,977 --> 00:11:15,762 That's not great. 307 00:11:15,805 --> 00:11:17,720 I think the biggest kickin the nuts 308 00:11:17,764 --> 00:11:20,201 is that Graham didn't thinkthat I could give him The Talk. 309 00:11:20,244 --> 00:11:21,637 A talk? About what? 310 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,204 Oh. 311 00:11:23,247 --> 00:11:25,597 About how magnets work. 312 00:11:27,121 --> 00:11:29,210 Look...for what it's worth, 313 00:11:29,253 --> 00:11:30,777 I think you're a great mom. 314 00:11:30,820 --> 00:11:33,736 Oh, shut your perfect,dumb mouth. 315 00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:34,911 Seriously, Angie. 316 00:11:34,955 --> 00:11:36,739 You're an inspiration. 317 00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:38,828 I am? 318 00:11:38,872 --> 00:11:40,395 Yeah. Because of you, 319 00:11:40,438 --> 00:11:43,877 I was inspired to sampleall this stuff from the store. 320 00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:49,230 ♪♪ 321 00:11:49,273 --> 00:11:52,799 And that's another gutter ball for ol' D'Amato. 322 00:11:52,842 --> 00:11:55,323 Alright, Emma, your sister's being very brave 323 00:11:55,366 --> 00:11:56,672 and trying a new look, 324 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,195 so I want you to be very supportive. 325 00:11:58,239 --> 00:12:00,154 I hear you. 326 00:12:00,197 --> 00:12:02,025 No deal. 327 00:12:02,069 --> 00:12:08,336 ♪♪ 328 00:12:08,379 --> 00:12:10,338 Individually, this is a mess, 329 00:12:10,381 --> 00:12:12,035 but all together, it's horrible. 330 00:12:12,079 --> 00:12:14,037 What do youthink, Emma? 331 00:12:14,081 --> 00:12:16,170 I... 332 00:12:17,911 --> 00:12:19,477 ...love it! 333 00:12:19,521 --> 00:12:21,828 [ Breathes heavily ][ Giggles ] 334 00:12:21,871 --> 00:12:23,264 Yo, I was wrong. 335 00:12:23,307 --> 00:12:24,787 You really bonded with Amy. 336 00:12:24,831 --> 00:12:27,181 Maybe they are human.[ Chuckles ] 337 00:12:27,224 --> 00:12:30,445 Poppy, I want you to make me an outfit exactly like this. 338 00:12:30,488 --> 00:12:32,360 Of course. Happy to make you one, too. 339 00:12:32,403 --> 00:12:33,927 [ Chuckles ]Wait. But this is mylook. 340 00:12:33,970 --> 00:12:35,450 It's ourlook now. 341 00:12:35,493 --> 00:12:38,061 I just want to look differentfor one night in my life. 342 00:12:38,105 --> 00:12:39,628 Take off the cape. It's changed you. 343 00:12:39,671 --> 00:12:42,587 Raaaah! 344 00:12:42,631 --> 00:12:43,675 Get off of me! 345 00:12:43,719 --> 00:12:45,286 I just wanted to be my own person! 346 00:12:45,329 --> 00:12:47,723 This is your fault, Poppy! 347 00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,029 Amy: Aah! 348 00:12:49,072 --> 00:12:51,074 I am freaking out. 349 00:12:51,118 --> 00:12:52,597 Come on. Keep it together. 350 00:12:52,641 --> 00:12:55,078 Where's all that "sex is beautiful" energy? 351 00:12:55,122 --> 00:12:56,863 Sex clearlyis not beautiful, okay? 352 00:12:56,906 --> 00:12:58,429 It's depraved and disgusting, 353 00:12:58,473 --> 00:12:59,474 and according to that letter, 354 00:12:59,517 --> 00:13:01,084 it's mostly done in the mat room 355 00:13:01,128 --> 00:13:02,390 of a middle school gymnasium. 356 00:13:02,433 --> 00:13:04,044 A little further down, it implies 357 00:13:04,087 --> 00:13:07,047 that they also did some stuff in the dead end of a corn maze. 358 00:13:07,090 --> 00:13:08,178 God. 359 00:13:08,222 --> 00:13:09,701 I can't do this talk. 360 00:13:09,745 --> 00:13:11,094 Douglas, you got to tag in. 361 00:13:11,138 --> 00:13:13,096 I'm not tagging in on a sex talk. 362 00:13:13,140 --> 00:13:15,446 What are you? Nuts?Well, how can I talkabout sex and trust when the man 363 00:13:15,490 --> 00:13:17,622 who told me all about itis a philanderer, okay? 364 00:13:17,666 --> 00:13:20,495 Oh, someone got nachos! 365 00:13:20,538 --> 00:13:22,714 Sorry, Will, no change on that ten-spot. 366 00:13:22,758 --> 00:13:24,455 Ooh, hey, cool textbook. 367 00:13:24,499 --> 00:13:26,457 Yes, it's very cool. 368 00:13:26,501 --> 00:13:29,112 It's actually my father's --the dirty liar. 369 00:13:29,156 --> 00:13:32,202 You okay, Big Dubs? 370 00:13:32,246 --> 00:13:35,684 Alright, it's talk time. 371 00:13:35,727 --> 00:13:36,772 Douglas, you want to kick things off? 372 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,861 Pass. Cool. 373 00:13:38,905 --> 00:13:43,083 Graham, when a man lovesa woman... 374 00:13:43,126 --> 00:13:46,086 Oh, God. My poor mother. 375 00:13:46,129 --> 00:13:48,915 My fatheris a sexual deviant. 376 00:13:48,958 --> 00:13:49,654 He is sick! 377 00:13:49,698 --> 00:13:51,656 Sex is sick! 378 00:13:51,700 --> 00:13:54,442 ♪♪ 379 00:13:54,485 --> 00:13:56,879 [ Door opens, closes ]Okay, so, imagine... 380 00:13:56,923 --> 00:13:59,490 someone slips a dirty flip book under your door. 381 00:13:59,534 --> 00:14:00,665 Dirty flip book? 382 00:14:00,709 --> 00:14:01,710 Right. 383 00:14:01,753 --> 00:14:02,798 Is Will right? 384 00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:05,105 Sex is sick? 385 00:14:05,148 --> 00:14:06,193 That means I'm sick, too? 386 00:14:07,281 --> 00:14:10,153 That means I'm sick, too! 387 00:14:10,197 --> 00:14:12,112 Graham -- No, Graham! 388 00:14:12,155 --> 00:14:14,462 Somebody tackle that boy! 389 00:14:14,505 --> 00:14:16,116 We're not allowedto touch the children, sir. 390 00:14:16,159 --> 00:14:18,031 Uh, it's okay. He lives in my sauna. 391 00:14:18,074 --> 00:14:19,510 Along with his mom. 392 00:14:19,554 --> 00:14:22,078 They're there voluntarily. I-I -- Oh. 393 00:14:22,122 --> 00:14:23,688 What is everybody looking -- 394 00:14:23,732 --> 00:14:24,951 I don't care. You eyeballing me?! 395 00:14:28,041 --> 00:14:30,957 Okay. Emma, why don't you want to let Amy wear her own outfit? 396 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,697 Talk about my feelings? 397 00:14:32,741 --> 00:14:34,743 You'll have to torture me. 398 00:14:34,786 --> 00:14:36,919 What? [ Scoffs ] I'm not gonna torture a child. 399 00:14:36,963 --> 00:14:37,920 Just do it, coward. 400 00:14:37,964 --> 00:14:39,922 Okay. Rory, go ahead. 401 00:14:39,966 --> 00:14:42,185 Okay, okay! 402 00:14:42,229 --> 00:14:43,926 I'll talk. 403 00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:45,972 Dressing alike is our thing. 404 00:14:46,015 --> 00:14:48,278 We're a team. 405 00:14:48,322 --> 00:14:49,801 And, Amy, how do you feel about that? 406 00:14:49,845 --> 00:14:51,368 I won't crack. 407 00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:52,543 Do your worst. 408 00:14:52,587 --> 00:14:53,631 Alright, Rory, do the thing. 409 00:14:53,675 --> 00:14:54,937 [ Gasps ] 410 00:14:54,981 --> 00:14:56,765 You sick twist! 411 00:14:56,808 --> 00:14:59,202 Fine! I'll spill! 412 00:14:59,246 --> 00:15:02,162 I just want to be my own person for once. 413 00:15:02,205 --> 00:15:03,859 Okay, first of all, this child torture thing 414 00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:06,166 is very disturbing, though deeply on brand. 415 00:15:06,209 --> 00:15:08,168 Now, dressing alike, girls, 416 00:15:08,211 --> 00:15:10,213 doesn't make you the same person. 417 00:15:10,257 --> 00:15:12,433 And dressing differently doesn't mean you're not a team. 418 00:15:12,476 --> 00:15:15,610 But dressing like a Naziis always bad. 419 00:15:15,653 --> 00:15:18,091 Sweetie, I think we're doing a different thing here. 420 00:15:18,134 --> 00:15:19,657 Okay. 421 00:15:19,701 --> 00:15:20,745 The thing is, supporting each other 422 00:15:20,789 --> 00:15:22,095 is what makes you a team, okay? 423 00:15:22,138 --> 00:15:24,010 You're individuals and sisters. 424 00:15:24,053 --> 00:15:25,402 But how will people know we're sisters 425 00:15:25,446 --> 00:15:27,361 if we don't dress the same? 426 00:15:27,404 --> 00:15:29,015 Well, you look alike, for starters. 427 00:15:29,058 --> 00:15:31,234 I guess I don't see it. 428 00:15:31,278 --> 00:15:34,237 Alright, what if we decide that tonight, 429 00:15:34,281 --> 00:15:36,022 you'll go to Yogurt Spot as a team, 430 00:15:36,065 --> 00:15:37,371 but as a team of sisters 431 00:15:37,414 --> 00:15:40,200 brave enough to wear your own outfits? 432 00:15:40,243 --> 00:15:41,549 What do you say? You want to go shopping? 433 00:15:41,592 --> 00:15:42,985 Yeah.Yeah. Yeah. 434 00:15:43,029 --> 00:15:44,856 Ugh. 435 00:15:44,900 --> 00:15:46,336 It only took me an afternoon 436 00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:48,686 to turn a formerpre-school valedictorian 437 00:15:48,730 --> 00:15:50,340 into a petty thief. 438 00:15:50,384 --> 00:15:51,994 I thought you said sampling wasn't stealing. 439 00:15:52,038 --> 00:15:54,649 Of coursesampling is stealing! 440 00:15:54,692 --> 00:15:56,477 I was lying! I'm a liar! 441 00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:57,913 Keep writing. 442 00:15:57,957 --> 00:16:00,350 I can't believe you're making medo apology letters. 443 00:16:00,394 --> 00:16:03,223 You committed a legitimate crimebecause of me! 444 00:16:03,266 --> 00:16:05,225 You're taking this really seriously. 445 00:16:05,268 --> 00:16:07,270 Yes! I am! 446 00:16:07,314 --> 00:16:10,795 I can't let Will know that Icorrupted his perfect daughter. 447 00:16:10,839 --> 00:16:13,146 I'm not perfect! 448 00:16:13,189 --> 00:16:14,886 Pent-up outburst. 449 00:16:14,930 --> 00:16:16,410 I know those well. 450 00:16:16,453 --> 00:16:19,152 [ Sighs ] 451 00:16:19,195 --> 00:16:19,979 Hit me. 452 00:16:23,286 --> 00:16:25,158 I don't like being Little Miss Perfect all the time. 453 00:16:25,201 --> 00:16:27,073 Sometimes, I want to be like you -- 454 00:16:27,116 --> 00:16:29,640 a Bad B with a heart of gold. 455 00:16:29,684 --> 00:16:31,686 Heart of gold? 456 00:16:31,729 --> 00:16:33,296 Shut up. Don't stop. 457 00:16:33,340 --> 00:16:34,732 You're so much fun. 458 00:16:34,776 --> 00:16:36,604 Yeah. I know I'm fun. 459 00:16:36,647 --> 00:16:38,214 I'm fun as hell. 460 00:16:38,258 --> 00:16:39,955 But that doesn't make mea good role model. 461 00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,957 It kind of does. 462 00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:43,393 Look, I love my dad, 463 00:16:43,437 --> 00:16:45,439 but he never makes a mistake. 464 00:16:45,482 --> 00:16:48,485 You're the only grown-up that makes me feel like 465 00:16:48,529 --> 00:16:51,097 I don't have to be perfect to be a good person. 466 00:16:51,140 --> 00:16:53,229 [ Exhales sharply ] 467 00:16:53,273 --> 00:16:57,668 So...I'm like your oak? 468 00:16:57,712 --> 00:16:58,843 My what? 469 00:16:58,887 --> 00:17:01,063 I'm your tall, mighty oak. 470 00:17:01,107 --> 00:17:02,238 I mean, you're not tall. 471 00:17:02,282 --> 00:17:03,283 You're more shrub-like, but -- 472 00:17:03,326 --> 00:17:04,675 Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. 473 00:17:04,719 --> 00:17:07,330 I'm your oak. 474 00:17:07,374 --> 00:17:09,158 Get over here. 475 00:17:09,202 --> 00:17:15,773 ♪♪ 476 00:17:15,817 --> 00:17:18,211 You know, stealing isn't the only way 477 00:17:18,254 --> 00:17:19,734 to follow in my footsteps. 478 00:17:19,777 --> 00:17:22,302 I know a couple legal waysto be a little bad. 479 00:17:22,345 --> 00:17:24,347 Aren't we returning that? 480 00:17:24,391 --> 00:17:26,306 Meh.It's already stolen. 481 00:17:26,349 --> 00:17:28,743 Come on.I got tons of fun colors. 482 00:17:28,786 --> 00:17:30,701 You gotta be kidding me. 483 00:17:30,745 --> 00:17:32,094 Will! 484 00:17:32,138 --> 00:17:33,095 Stop! 485 00:17:33,139 --> 00:17:34,923 We need to find Graham! 486 00:17:34,966 --> 00:17:36,316 He's right over there! 487 00:17:38,013 --> 00:17:39,710 Boys! 488 00:17:39,754 --> 00:17:41,756 Get in the car!Leave me alone! 489 00:17:41,799 --> 00:17:43,758 Leave me alone! 490 00:17:43,801 --> 00:17:46,674 [ Jazz music plays on stereo ] 491 00:17:46,717 --> 00:17:50,199 Aah! It's impossible to skate to an improvised melody! 492 00:17:50,243 --> 00:17:51,722 I can't! Fine! 493 00:17:51,766 --> 00:17:53,159 You win! 494 00:17:53,202 --> 00:17:55,335 Okay, watch your skateson the seats. 495 00:17:55,378 --> 00:17:57,250 This is veal leather. 496 00:17:57,293 --> 00:17:59,382 [ Car door closes ]Drive me back to my sauna. 497 00:17:59,426 --> 00:18:02,255 Will, Graham,we're gonna have The Talk. 498 00:18:02,298 --> 00:18:05,954 When I was a kid, I foundsome dirty pictures, too. 499 00:18:05,997 --> 00:18:08,565 And it was scary and overwhelming. 500 00:18:08,609 --> 00:18:11,133 ♪♪ 501 00:18:11,177 --> 00:18:12,308 This is confusing. 502 00:18:12,352 --> 00:18:15,833 ♪♪ 503 00:18:15,877 --> 00:18:17,835 [ Chair scrapes ] 504 00:18:17,879 --> 00:18:21,187 [ Clock ticking ] 505 00:18:21,230 --> 00:18:23,624 ♪♪ 506 00:18:23,667 --> 00:18:27,193 No one cared enough to takethe time to talk to me about it, 507 00:18:27,236 --> 00:18:30,021 and I'm ashamed to sayI failed you in the same way. 508 00:18:30,065 --> 00:18:31,632 Everybody fails. 509 00:18:31,675 --> 00:18:33,286 Heroes fail. 510 00:18:33,329 --> 00:18:35,549 Fathers bone all the joy out of your heart, 511 00:18:35,592 --> 00:18:36,593 so what's the point? 512 00:18:36,637 --> 00:18:38,204 Not now, Will! 513 00:18:38,247 --> 00:18:42,033 Now, sex -- it can be...weird 514 00:18:42,077 --> 00:18:44,645 and -- and confusing, 515 00:18:44,688 --> 00:18:48,083 and no textbook or flip bookor magazine 516 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,954 is gonna make sense of itfor you. 517 00:18:49,998 --> 00:18:51,304 What about a film? 518 00:18:51,347 --> 00:18:52,827 Oh, those can be instructive. 519 00:18:52,870 --> 00:18:54,437 But you're years awayfrom that. 520 00:18:54,481 --> 00:18:58,398 But i-it's -- it's totally fineto be curious about sex. 521 00:18:58,441 --> 00:18:59,442 Very natural. 522 00:18:59,486 --> 00:19:01,314 It's why you wantto surround yourself 523 00:19:01,357 --> 00:19:02,967 with people you can trust, 524 00:19:03,011 --> 00:19:06,580 people like me and Will. 525 00:19:06,623 --> 00:19:08,234 Will. 526 00:19:08,277 --> 00:19:09,235 Yeah. 527 00:19:09,278 --> 00:19:11,802 Look, Graham, 528 00:19:11,846 --> 00:19:14,327 sex is always gonna bring up questions, 529 00:19:14,370 --> 00:19:16,764 a-a-and that never stops, at any age. 530 00:19:16,807 --> 00:19:20,028 So...I'm not a bad person? 531 00:19:20,071 --> 00:19:21,247 Of course not, buddy. 532 00:19:21,290 --> 00:19:22,596 I would tell you if you were. 533 00:19:22,639 --> 00:19:24,598 Oh, like when you said I was going to Hell 534 00:19:24,641 --> 00:19:26,861 for leaving a cold glass on your walnut coffee table. 535 00:19:26,904 --> 00:19:28,210 Exactly. 536 00:19:28,254 --> 00:19:29,820 Now, do you have any other questions 537 00:19:29,864 --> 00:19:31,996 about the pictures you sawin that magazine? 538 00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:36,262 The thing that confused me the most was... 539 00:19:36,305 --> 00:19:39,134 does a horse go faster if you ride on it naked? 540 00:19:40,353 --> 00:19:41,354 Yes.Yes. 541 00:19:43,399 --> 00:19:45,314 ♪ We livin' like... It's me. Amy Fogerty. 542 00:19:45,358 --> 00:19:46,446 And I'm Emma. 543 00:19:46,489 --> 00:19:48,099 And even thoughwe're not dressed alike, 544 00:19:48,143 --> 00:19:49,231 we're still sisters. 545 00:19:49,275 --> 00:19:51,842 Sorry. I'm blind after sunset. 546 00:19:51,886 --> 00:19:54,584 Yeah. Thanks. 547 00:19:54,628 --> 00:19:55,585 Poppy! 548 00:19:55,629 --> 00:19:57,370 Hi. 549 00:19:57,413 --> 00:19:59,589 You both look so great. 550 00:19:59,633 --> 00:20:01,330 -Thanks. -Mm-hmm. 551 00:20:01,374 --> 00:20:03,245 ♪♪ 552 00:20:03,289 --> 00:20:05,247 Wait, did the girls just hug you? 553 00:20:05,291 --> 00:20:07,858 Oh, yeah. You know, we bonded. 554 00:20:07,902 --> 00:20:09,382 You're amazing. 555 00:20:09,425 --> 00:20:10,600 I never knew their armsbent that way. 556 00:20:10,644 --> 00:20:11,906 [ Chuckles ] 557 00:20:11,949 --> 00:20:14,648 And I guess it's probablya lack of wind resistance, 558 00:20:14,691 --> 00:20:16,650 so the horse can just zoom. 559 00:20:16,693 --> 00:20:17,607 Cool. 560 00:20:17,651 --> 00:20:19,870 ♪♪ 561 00:20:19,914 --> 00:20:21,872 Hey, sweetie.Are you feeling better? 562 00:20:21,916 --> 00:20:24,266 Yeah, Mom. Will and Douglas were great, 563 00:20:24,310 --> 00:20:26,137 but next time, I'd rather skate with you. 564 00:20:26,181 --> 00:20:27,922 Aw. Thank you. 565 00:20:27,965 --> 00:20:29,706 I actually really neededto hear that. 566 00:20:29,750 --> 00:20:30,446 Love you. 567 00:20:30,490 --> 00:20:32,535 Rocco! 568 00:20:32,579 --> 00:20:35,712 Wait, why are you wearing skates? 569 00:20:35,756 --> 00:20:39,281 So, how did the talk go? 570 00:20:39,325 --> 00:20:41,414 Um, pretty good. 571 00:20:41,457 --> 00:20:42,415 Except for the fact that I found out 572 00:20:42,458 --> 00:20:43,764 my father's been cheatingon my mother 573 00:20:43,807 --> 00:20:45,548 for many, many years. 574 00:20:45,592 --> 00:20:47,333 Oh, man. 575 00:20:47,376 --> 00:20:49,987 Not dope, dude. Mnh-mnh. 576 00:20:50,031 --> 00:20:51,075 Not dope. 577 00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:52,990 No. For sure. 578 00:20:53,034 --> 00:20:54,557 Hey, how was your daywith Sophie? 579 00:20:54,601 --> 00:20:55,732 Where is she, by the way? 580 00:20:55,776 --> 00:20:58,387 Oh, she's right there. 581 00:20:58,431 --> 00:21:00,389 Oh. You dyed her hair. 582 00:21:00,433 --> 00:21:01,651 I'll kill you. 583 00:21:01,695 --> 00:21:02,783 I'm so sorry. 584 00:21:02,826 --> 00:21:05,525 I-I think she's just trying to mix it up. 585 00:21:05,568 --> 00:21:06,787 Mm.Is there any chance that you could be on board with it? 586 00:21:06,830 --> 00:21:09,442 You're sure the dye'snon-toxic, though, right? 587 00:21:09,485 --> 00:21:11,444 No, no, no. It's hair dye from the grocery store. 588 00:21:11,487 --> 00:21:13,446 [ Chuckling ] It's definitely toxic, 589 00:21:13,489 --> 00:21:14,751 so just squeeze my arm and smile at your daughter. 590 00:21:14,795 --> 00:21:15,796 Uh-huh. 591 00:21:15,839 --> 00:21:17,014 Hi, Sophie! 592 00:21:17,058 --> 00:21:18,799 You look great! 593 00:21:18,842 --> 00:21:22,933 [ Laughs ]I'm totally fine with it! 594 00:21:22,977 --> 00:21:24,544 This has been a really bad day.