1 00:00:04,547 --> 00:00:07,245 [gentle guitar melody] 2 00:00:07,289 --> 00:00:10,727 ♪ 3 00:00:10,770 --> 00:00:12,250 - Whoa. - Mm-hmm. 4 00:00:12,294 --> 00:00:14,078 - Whoa. - Oh, hello. 5 00:00:14,122 --> 00:00:16,211 - Oh, sorry, I had the TV on pause earlier. 6 00:00:16,254 --> 00:00:18,952 - Now it's not the only thing you have on pause. 7 00:00:18,996 --> 00:00:20,563 [laughter] 8 00:00:22,391 --> 00:00:24,567 What's wrong? - Where is that thing? 9 00:00:24,610 --> 00:00:27,352 I need to turn this off. There we go. 10 00:00:29,137 --> 00:00:30,660 Hey, Martin. 11 00:00:30,703 --> 00:00:32,096 [exhales sharply] 12 00:00:32,140 --> 00:00:36,709 ♪ 13 00:00:36,753 --> 00:00:38,929 - Hey. 14 00:00:38,972 --> 00:00:41,801 I like seeing you. 15 00:00:41,845 --> 00:00:47,285 ♪ 16 00:00:47,329 --> 00:00:49,244 - Okay. - Yeah. 17 00:00:51,594 --> 00:00:53,596 - Yeah, Martin, I can't. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 18 00:00:53,639 --> 00:00:55,206 I can't. 19 00:00:55,250 --> 00:00:57,295 - You don't have to apologize. 20 00:00:59,167 --> 00:01:02,083 - I'm sorry, I just, you know. 21 00:01:03,258 --> 00:01:05,695 I love you, I just-- these issues are-- 22 00:01:05,738 --> 00:01:08,001 - I know. I said... 23 00:01:08,045 --> 00:01:10,395 you don't have to apologize. 24 00:01:11,962 --> 00:01:14,007 - [sighs] 25 00:01:14,051 --> 00:01:15,922 - I get it. 26 00:01:15,966 --> 00:01:17,837 Really. 27 00:01:17,881 --> 00:01:19,883 It's late anyway. 28 00:01:25,845 --> 00:01:27,325 [exhales deeply] 29 00:01:27,369 --> 00:01:34,506 ♪ 30 00:01:41,209 --> 00:01:43,167 - "We have seen some dark days. 31 00:01:44,429 --> 00:01:46,779 "A deadly pandemic, its epicenter right here 32 00:01:46,823 --> 00:01:48,041 "in New York City. 33 00:01:48,085 --> 00:01:50,435 "Americans dying by the thousands, 34 00:01:50,479 --> 00:01:53,873 "forced to face their fates scared and alone. 35 00:01:53,917 --> 00:01:56,311 "Sometimes it feels like the storm will never end. 36 00:01:56,354 --> 00:01:58,313 "But believe this: 37 00:01:58,356 --> 00:01:59,966 "it will end. 38 00:02:00,010 --> 00:02:02,143 You will make it end." 39 00:02:02,186 --> 00:02:04,275 Those words were written in 1985 40 00:02:04,319 --> 00:02:05,885 as this hospital faced, 41 00:02:05,929 --> 00:02:07,148 not the crisis we're in now, 42 00:02:07,191 --> 00:02:09,280 but a different one: 43 00:02:09,324 --> 00:02:10,847 the AIDS epidemic. 44 00:02:10,890 --> 00:02:16,635 So, here to honor National HIV Testing Day, 45 00:02:16,679 --> 00:02:19,812 please welcome the man who wrote those words. 46 00:02:19,856 --> 00:02:21,945 My personal hero, 47 00:02:21,988 --> 00:02:24,861 the former Medical Director of New Amsterdam, 48 00:02:24,904 --> 00:02:26,036 Dr. George Helms. 49 00:02:26,079 --> 00:02:27,994 [cheers and applause] 50 00:02:28,038 --> 00:02:29,692 - Yes! All right! 51 00:02:29,735 --> 00:02:31,476 - Whoo! 52 00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:33,174 - Thank you, Dr. Goodwin. 53 00:02:33,217 --> 00:02:35,350 [chuckling] 54 00:02:36,829 --> 00:02:39,049 I'm so proud 55 00:02:39,092 --> 00:02:42,748 to be here on a day when we offer free care 56 00:02:42,792 --> 00:02:44,315 to every HIV patient 57 00:02:44,359 --> 00:02:46,665 that has come through these doors. 58 00:02:46,709 --> 00:02:50,800 Undocumented, uninsured, under-insured. 59 00:02:50,843 --> 00:02:54,543 It's top-to-toe coverage, and it's on the house. 60 00:02:54,586 --> 00:02:58,286 [pager beeping] - Yes, amazing. 61 00:03:02,464 --> 00:03:03,856 - Luna's banned from daycare. 62 00:03:03,900 --> 00:03:05,597 - Banned? 63 00:03:05,641 --> 00:03:07,686 C-can't you just give her a detention or something? 64 00:03:07,730 --> 00:03:09,906 - I'm sorry, Max, but we take biting very seriously. 65 00:03:09,949 --> 00:03:12,256 - Biting? - Especially repeat offenders. 66 00:03:12,300 --> 00:03:13,866 - She's teething. She's not a felon. 67 00:03:13,910 --> 00:03:15,781 Look, let me come up there, and I will calm her down, 68 00:03:15,825 --> 00:03:17,783 and then you can give her a second chance. 69 00:03:17,827 --> 00:03:18,958 - We've given her three. 70 00:03:19,002 --> 00:03:20,308 - [quietly] Three? 71 00:03:20,351 --> 00:03:21,526 - Is any family around? 72 00:03:21,570 --> 00:03:23,441 - My in-laws, but, uh, 73 00:03:23,485 --> 00:03:24,529 you know what our hours are like. 74 00:03:24,573 --> 00:03:27,271 If she's not here, I'm never gonna-- 75 00:03:27,315 --> 00:03:28,577 I'm never gonna see her. 76 00:03:30,622 --> 00:03:33,146 Marsha, I don't have a plan B. 77 00:03:33,190 --> 00:03:34,539 - Neither do I, Max. I'm sorry. 78 00:03:34,583 --> 00:03:35,975 I'll bring up Luna. 79 00:03:36,019 --> 00:03:38,891 [quiet emotional music] 80 00:03:38,935 --> 00:03:40,415 - [sighs] 81 00:03:40,458 --> 00:03:43,113 [upbeat Indian music playing] 82 00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:44,680 - Ig, Ig, look. 83 00:03:44,723 --> 00:03:46,986 I told Casey I'd be out of the E.D. for like, ten minutes. 84 00:03:47,030 --> 00:03:48,379 - Yeah, no, any second now he's gonna 85 00:03:48,423 --> 00:03:49,989 walk through that door and his sweet smile's 86 00:03:50,033 --> 00:03:51,861 gonna light up that perfectly round bald head of his, kay? 87 00:03:51,904 --> 00:03:52,992 [door opens] 88 00:03:53,036 --> 00:03:54,690 - Surprise! 89 00:03:54,733 --> 00:03:55,821 - Shut the door, shut the-- 90 00:03:55,865 --> 00:03:57,301 - He's not here yet? - Nope, nope. 91 00:03:57,345 --> 00:03:58,563 Ig, look, I really got to go. 92 00:03:58,607 --> 00:04:00,130 - Fudge. No, no, no. 93 00:04:00,173 --> 00:04:01,610 Let me text Ella one more time. Don't--don't eat those. 94 00:04:01,653 --> 00:04:03,176 - Say hi for me. - Um, you know what? 95 00:04:03,220 --> 00:04:04,743 Actually I just wanted to pop my head in real quick, 96 00:04:04,787 --> 00:04:05,962 and I got to get back to work. - Wait, wait, guys. 97 00:04:06,005 --> 00:04:07,790 Have you forgotten that he almost died? 98 00:04:07,833 --> 00:04:09,705 Okay, he had COVID, he had open heart surgery, 99 00:04:09,748 --> 00:04:11,315 then he battled through a hellish rehab. 100 00:04:11,359 --> 00:04:12,751 Now today, our friend is coming back here 101 00:04:12,795 --> 00:04:14,362 and I want to celebrate him for ten minutes 102 00:04:14,405 --> 00:04:15,537 of your time, please. [door opens] 103 00:04:15,580 --> 00:04:16,668 - Surprise! - Aah! 104 00:04:16,712 --> 00:04:17,800 - Shoot! - Sorry I'm late, 105 00:04:17,843 --> 00:04:19,280 I was working on my toast. - Agnes-- 106 00:04:19,323 --> 00:04:20,759 - What, he's not here yet? - No. 107 00:04:20,803 --> 00:04:21,934 - Yeah, you know what? Give him my love. 108 00:04:21,978 --> 00:04:23,501 - Just give him my love. - C'mon, Floyd-- 109 00:04:23,545 --> 00:04:24,763 - Just tell him to come into the E.D. and say hey. 110 00:04:24,807 --> 00:04:26,591 Oh, Brunstetter, you're back on too. 111 00:04:26,635 --> 00:04:28,114 - Let me grab one more of these pastry things, 112 00:04:28,158 --> 00:04:29,899 and then I am right behind you. - They're called laddu 113 00:04:29,942 --> 00:04:31,335 and they're decorative, Brunstetter. 114 00:04:31,379 --> 00:04:33,032 God, what is wrong with you people? 115 00:04:33,076 --> 00:04:36,427 Ten minutes! Guys, ten min-- shut the door, at least. 116 00:04:36,471 --> 00:04:38,342 Just-- [door closes] 117 00:04:38,386 --> 00:04:40,257 Great, now it says "Kapoop." 118 00:04:40,301 --> 00:04:42,433 - And then you start placing one on each of the seats. 119 00:04:42,477 --> 00:04:44,305 Oh, and please don't forget the pens, okay? 120 00:04:44,348 --> 00:04:46,132 Thank you. 121 00:04:46,176 --> 00:04:48,352 - Uh, why are you all jittery? 122 00:04:48,396 --> 00:04:50,136 - Because we're about to be hit 123 00:04:50,180 --> 00:04:51,747 with an influx of HIV patients, 124 00:04:51,790 --> 00:04:53,314 and with 6 feet between each chair, 125 00:04:53,357 --> 00:04:55,359 I'm not sure we have enough hallway to accommodate them. 126 00:04:55,403 --> 00:04:57,143 - No, you know what? This feels more like 127 00:04:57,187 --> 00:04:58,449 the kind of freak-out you have 128 00:04:58,493 --> 00:05:01,409 when you're 24 hours away from becoming a mum. 129 00:05:01,452 --> 00:05:03,280 - Yes, Mina is coming tomorrow 130 00:05:03,324 --> 00:05:05,151 but I'm not her mum, I'm her aunt. 131 00:05:05,195 --> 00:05:07,589 And a cool aunt doesn't freak out, thank you. 132 00:05:07,632 --> 00:05:09,591 - Uh, she's a 16-year-old girl. 133 00:05:09,634 --> 00:05:11,810 You're never gonna be a cool anything. 134 00:05:11,854 --> 00:05:13,769 - Oh, shush. I just mean I'm gonna provide 135 00:05:13,812 --> 00:05:15,771 a calm, accepting environment. 136 00:05:15,814 --> 00:05:18,382 My role isn't to control her life, it's to follow her lead. 137 00:05:18,426 --> 00:05:19,818 And whatever may come, this cool aunt 138 00:05:19,862 --> 00:05:21,342 is just gonna roll with it. - Ammeh Helen? 139 00:05:21,385 --> 00:05:24,301 [quiet plucky music] 140 00:05:24,345 --> 00:05:25,563 ♪ 141 00:05:25,607 --> 00:05:27,304 - Mina. I'm-- 142 00:05:27,348 --> 00:05:29,437 - [chuckles] 143 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:31,526 - I thought that you were coming tomorrow. 144 00:05:31,569 --> 00:05:33,832 - I flew standby. I thought I'd surprise you. 145 00:05:33,876 --> 00:05:35,399 - Hi. 146 00:05:35,443 --> 00:05:38,097 - Um, yes, yes, you did. I just, um-- 147 00:05:38,141 --> 00:05:41,797 Oh! I just wish you'd called. [chuckles] 148 00:05:44,495 --> 00:05:46,062 - I don't believe it. - Believe it. 149 00:05:46,105 --> 00:05:48,499 Full refund from the venue and from the caterer. 150 00:05:48,543 --> 00:05:50,501 - Damn. What'd you have to do to pull that off? 151 00:05:50,545 --> 00:05:51,981 - I played the 152 00:05:52,024 --> 00:05:54,375 "His mom has diabetes and he broke" card. 153 00:05:54,418 --> 00:05:56,202 - I'm not broke. - [laughing] 154 00:05:56,246 --> 00:05:58,727 Just say thank you, Floyd. - Oh, I thank you. 155 00:05:58,770 --> 00:06:01,904 So what's left on the cancelled wedding checklist? 156 00:06:01,947 --> 00:06:03,122 - Nothing. 157 00:06:03,166 --> 00:06:04,863 All our business is officially handled. 158 00:06:04,907 --> 00:06:06,909 We're done. - Good, all right. 159 00:06:09,172 --> 00:06:11,435 - How's Mama Nola? - Mama Nola's good. 160 00:06:11,479 --> 00:06:14,090 Yeah, she's, uh, she's good. 161 00:06:14,133 --> 00:06:15,396 - And what about Floyd? 162 00:06:15,439 --> 00:06:16,962 Is he good? 163 00:06:17,006 --> 00:06:18,877 - Uh... 164 00:06:18,921 --> 00:06:20,662 [door opens] - Incoming. 165 00:06:20,705 --> 00:06:21,837 - Oh, uh, Evie, we got incoming. 166 00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:23,752 I got to go. - Go do your thing. 167 00:06:23,795 --> 00:06:26,363 - Kwame Adu. Passed out at HIV testing upstairs. 168 00:06:26,407 --> 00:06:28,234 Pulse 140 and thready. 169 00:06:28,278 --> 00:06:29,627 - Kwame, I'm Dr. Bloom. 170 00:06:29,671 --> 00:06:31,542 You're in New Amsterdam E.D. We're gonna take 171 00:06:31,586 --> 00:06:32,978 good care of you, okay? - Okay. 172 00:06:33,022 --> 00:06:34,327 - Okay, let's get him on the bed. 173 00:06:34,371 --> 00:06:36,460 - Take a look at these. - Okay, nice and easy. 174 00:06:36,504 --> 00:06:37,940 - Okay. - Nice and easy. 175 00:06:39,245 --> 00:06:40,812 - Hey, Kwame. - Yes? 176 00:06:40,856 --> 00:06:43,336 - We got the results from the HIV test you just took. 177 00:06:43,380 --> 00:06:44,947 - Uh-huh. - It's positive. 178 00:06:47,428 --> 00:06:49,560 - No. 179 00:06:49,604 --> 00:06:52,433 No, that--that can't be true. 180 00:06:52,476 --> 00:06:55,653 - Kwame, I'm sure it's not the result that you wanted, 181 00:06:55,697 --> 00:06:58,264 but HIV isn't a death sentence anymore. 182 00:06:58,308 --> 00:06:59,744 It's manageable. 183 00:06:59,788 --> 00:07:01,703 - This can't be happening. - Hey, hey, hey. 184 00:07:01,746 --> 00:07:03,618 Look, just take it easy, all right? 185 00:07:03,661 --> 00:07:05,141 - That test is wrong. 186 00:07:05,184 --> 00:07:07,186 - Okay, but the results also say that 187 00:07:07,230 --> 00:07:08,579 your pancreas is damaged. 188 00:07:08,623 --> 00:07:09,928 That's why you're sick, all right? 189 00:07:09,972 --> 00:07:12,801 You just need to relax. - That test is wrong! 190 00:07:12,844 --> 00:07:14,716 - Okay-- - Okay? Okay? 191 00:07:14,759 --> 00:07:17,458 - Just--Kwame, Kwame, just have a seat right here. 192 00:07:17,501 --> 00:07:18,763 Kwame! - [gasping] 193 00:07:18,807 --> 00:07:20,635 - If you don't get treatment, you could die. 194 00:07:20,678 --> 00:07:22,071 - Okay, let him go, okay? 195 00:07:22,114 --> 00:07:23,768 You can't keep him here against his will. 196 00:07:23,812 --> 00:07:25,291 - His pancreas is gonna explode. 197 00:07:25,335 --> 00:07:26,728 - Then he's gonna be back. 198 00:07:26,771 --> 00:07:28,512 Mariana, get Trauma room one 199 00:07:28,556 --> 00:07:30,166 ready for an acute pancreatitis. 200 00:07:30,209 --> 00:07:31,254 - Yes. 201 00:07:33,169 --> 00:07:34,257 - Uh, look out. 202 00:07:34,300 --> 00:07:35,780 Oh, no, sorry about that. 203 00:07:35,824 --> 00:07:37,434 Hey. Hey, hey, Luna. 204 00:07:37,478 --> 00:07:39,871 Running from Dada is a bad, bad move. 205 00:07:39,915 --> 00:07:41,612 It's not very good, okay? If you keep doing it, 206 00:07:41,656 --> 00:07:42,918 you're gonna be on time out. [crashing] 207 00:07:42,961 --> 00:07:45,573 Hey, that's just the way the world works. 208 00:07:45,616 --> 00:07:47,444 Come here. There are rules. 209 00:07:47,488 --> 00:07:50,229 And we got to follow the rules, okay? 210 00:07:50,273 --> 00:07:51,492 And when people do bad things, 211 00:07:51,535 --> 00:07:53,232 they don't just get to-- 212 00:07:53,276 --> 00:07:55,844 to get away with it. 213 00:07:55,887 --> 00:07:59,021 [punchy drum solo] 214 00:07:59,064 --> 00:08:03,547 ♪ 215 00:08:06,768 --> 00:08:07,203 . 216 00:08:07,246 --> 00:08:10,249 - Dr. Val! Uh, any word on the blood bank records? 217 00:08:10,293 --> 00:08:11,381 - Yeah, here you go. 218 00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:12,817 All we got on Howie Cournemeyer. 219 00:08:12,861 --> 00:08:14,253 Interesting stuff. 220 00:08:14,297 --> 00:08:15,472 Cute kid. - Yeah, she is. 221 00:08:15,516 --> 00:08:17,126 Until she gnaws your face off. 222 00:08:17,169 --> 00:08:19,737 Howie Cournemeyer donated blood in 1986. 223 00:08:19,781 --> 00:08:21,826 This is interesting why? - Oh, it's much less the when 224 00:08:21,870 --> 00:08:23,306 than the how much. 225 00:08:23,349 --> 00:08:25,569 - A thousand pints in a month? What, is he a whale? 226 00:08:25,613 --> 00:08:28,354 His blood type keeps changing. Sometimes in a single day. 227 00:08:28,398 --> 00:08:29,834 - Oh, yeah, that whole thing's total B.S. 228 00:08:29,878 --> 00:08:32,620 - Not sure how it'll help you catch a vandal though. 229 00:08:32,663 --> 00:08:34,970 - Okay, check this out. His blood type changes, 230 00:08:35,013 --> 00:08:38,321 but his address stays the same on almost every donation. 231 00:08:38,364 --> 00:08:39,801 - Max with the detective skills. 232 00:08:39,844 --> 00:08:42,499 - Well, it's all about keen skills of observation. 233 00:08:42,543 --> 00:08:45,154 - Like I'm observing your kid eating a plant? 234 00:08:45,197 --> 00:08:46,982 - Hey, um... - Hey. 235 00:08:47,025 --> 00:08:48,505 What if I started chewing on you? 236 00:08:48,549 --> 00:08:51,160 - That's enough plant-based eating for one day. 237 00:08:51,203 --> 00:08:53,989 Okay, come here. So we are daycare-less. 238 00:08:54,032 --> 00:08:57,340 And, uh, recent development, we don't have a plan B. 239 00:08:57,383 --> 00:08:58,689 - Great story. Sign these. 240 00:08:58,733 --> 00:09:01,170 - Um, you love kids. - Very much the opposite. 241 00:09:01,213 --> 00:09:02,563 - Right. Let me rephrase that. 242 00:09:02,606 --> 00:09:04,782 You love being my assistant, right? 243 00:09:04,826 --> 00:09:06,610 - Yes, it's my childhood dream come true. 244 00:09:06,654 --> 00:09:09,613 - We would love to hang out with you, Sandra. 245 00:09:09,657 --> 00:09:11,441 'Cause you're so cool. - No. 246 00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:13,530 - Really? Please? I'm begging you. 247 00:09:13,574 --> 00:09:15,750 - Kay, try cash. - Yeah, okay. I'll pay you. 248 00:09:15,793 --> 00:09:18,491 Double? Triple. Quadruple. Whatever it takes. 249 00:09:18,535 --> 00:09:20,058 Please. Please take my baby. 250 00:09:20,102 --> 00:09:21,538 You're the best. - What? 251 00:09:21,582 --> 00:09:22,974 - She's the sweetest thing in the world. 252 00:09:23,018 --> 00:09:24,976 Watch out, she does bite sometimes. 253 00:09:25,020 --> 00:09:26,761 Don't drop her. Food, water. - I've-- 254 00:09:26,804 --> 00:09:28,850 [upbeat music] 255 00:09:28,893 --> 00:09:30,068 Hello. 256 00:09:33,202 --> 00:09:34,638 - So sorry. I'm sure this isn't 257 00:09:34,682 --> 00:09:39,643 how you imagined spending your first day in America. 258 00:09:39,687 --> 00:09:43,168 But I-I have a patient who's in rough shape 259 00:09:43,212 --> 00:09:45,431 so if you need me, I'll be in the Oncology-- 260 00:09:45,475 --> 00:09:48,739 - [chuckles] - What's--what's funny? 261 00:09:49,827 --> 00:09:52,743 - I'm sorry. 262 00:09:52,787 --> 00:09:53,744 It's just like watching 263 00:09:53,788 --> 00:09:56,225 Dr. Helen on TV. - Ah. 264 00:09:56,268 --> 00:09:59,228 - My father would watch you sometimes, and... 265 00:09:59,271 --> 00:10:01,709 he'd say, "Look, that's your Ammeh." 266 00:10:01,752 --> 00:10:03,406 But it just felt so odd. 267 00:10:03,449 --> 00:10:06,104 Like if he said my Amoo was 268 00:10:06,148 --> 00:10:08,150 Ryan Seacrest or something. 269 00:10:10,065 --> 00:10:13,024 - Uh, well. Look, if, um, 270 00:10:13,068 --> 00:10:16,549 if it feels odd, 271 00:10:16,593 --> 00:10:19,727 calling me "ammeh," then, um, 272 00:10:19,770 --> 00:10:21,293 p-please don't. 273 00:10:21,337 --> 00:10:22,599 - But that would be disrespectful. 274 00:10:22,643 --> 00:10:24,862 - No, no, no. No, I'm asking you to. 275 00:10:24,906 --> 00:10:27,082 Um, I should be more like your 276 00:10:27,125 --> 00:10:30,041 big sister or your friend. 277 00:10:30,085 --> 00:10:32,609 Your friend Helen. 278 00:10:32,653 --> 00:10:33,915 That's what you should call me. 279 00:10:33,958 --> 00:10:35,960 Just Helen. 280 00:10:36,004 --> 00:10:37,527 - "Just Helen," 281 00:10:37,570 --> 00:10:40,748 I know it's rude to be so direct, 282 00:10:40,791 --> 00:10:43,098 but can I get some tea? 283 00:10:43,141 --> 00:10:45,317 - Oh, yes. 284 00:10:45,361 --> 00:10:48,581 Um, course. You don't even have to ask. 285 00:10:48,625 --> 00:10:50,801 The cafeteria's on the fourth floor. 286 00:10:50,845 --> 00:10:53,108 - Cool. - Yeah. 287 00:10:53,151 --> 00:10:54,936 It is cool. [chuckles] 288 00:10:54,979 --> 00:10:58,461 - Hi, yes, I am in desperate need of a nanny, 289 00:10:58,504 --> 00:11:00,419 and I heard you guys are the best agency around. 290 00:11:00,463 --> 00:11:01,943 No, thank you. 291 00:11:01,986 --> 00:11:03,945 Well, I'm looking for someone in the mid-town area. 292 00:11:03,988 --> 00:11:06,774 Uh, let's see, teaching experience is a must. 293 00:11:06,817 --> 00:11:08,166 Bilingual is great. 294 00:11:08,210 --> 00:11:10,212 Trilingual is better. 295 00:11:10,255 --> 00:11:12,562 Uh, what else? CPR certified, obviously. 296 00:11:12,605 --> 00:11:15,304 And, uh, oh! Like a wizard with vegetables. 297 00:11:15,347 --> 00:11:17,959 I mean an actual wizard. 298 00:11:18,002 --> 00:11:19,961 [buzzer sounds] 299 00:11:20,004 --> 00:11:21,397 Great. 300 00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:22,790 Oh, that's great. Yeah, that's amazing. 301 00:11:22,833 --> 00:11:26,315 Um, um, starting tomorrow, if you have it. 302 00:11:27,882 --> 00:11:29,100 [chuckles] 303 00:11:29,144 --> 00:11:32,147 What--when you say "ten-month waiting list," 304 00:11:32,190 --> 00:11:36,238 do you mean actual months or is that a figure of speech? 305 00:11:38,675 --> 00:11:39,720 - Yeah? 306 00:11:39,763 --> 00:11:41,504 - I'm gonna have to call you back. 307 00:11:41,547 --> 00:11:44,637 Hi, are you Howie Cournemeyer? 308 00:11:44,681 --> 00:11:46,465 - Yeah. - I'm Max Goodwin, 309 00:11:46,509 --> 00:11:48,032 medical director at New Amsterdam. 310 00:11:48,076 --> 00:11:51,296 - I knew you bastards would come for me one day. 311 00:11:55,387 --> 00:11:56,606 - I walk in this morning with HIV, 312 00:11:56,649 --> 00:11:58,303 and now I have cancer, too? [chuckles dryly] 313 00:11:58,347 --> 00:12:00,305 I mean this can't be happening. I can't even pronounce it. 314 00:12:00,349 --> 00:12:02,220 - Hemangiosarcoma. 315 00:12:02,264 --> 00:12:03,787 And we don't know for certain that's what you have. 316 00:12:03,831 --> 00:12:05,441 - Okay, then what do you think I do? 317 00:12:05,484 --> 00:12:07,182 I mean, you just found a lump. That could be anything, right? 318 00:12:07,225 --> 00:12:11,360 - Hemangiosarcoma often occurs when HIV goes undertreated. 319 00:12:11,403 --> 00:12:14,493 We won't know anything for sure until your MRI. 320 00:12:14,537 --> 00:12:16,626 - HIV is not supposed to be a big deal anymore. 321 00:12:16,669 --> 00:12:17,975 I mean, I've been on my cocktail for years 322 00:12:18,019 --> 00:12:19,803 and I've been fine. Now I miss a few check-ups 323 00:12:19,847 --> 00:12:23,372 and I might die? -Let's not jump to conclusions. 324 00:12:23,415 --> 00:12:25,940 - [coughs] 325 00:12:25,983 --> 00:12:27,855 Oh, my God, what's happening? 326 00:12:27,898 --> 00:12:29,900 - Okay, can somebody help please? 327 00:12:29,944 --> 00:12:31,728 Get her to the E.D.! [elevator bell dings] 328 00:12:35,471 --> 00:12:36,733 - He's back. No pulse. 329 00:12:36,777 --> 00:12:38,213 They found him in a parking lot. 330 00:12:38,256 --> 00:12:39,562 - V-TACH. Charging at 360. 331 00:12:39,605 --> 00:12:41,303 - Shockable rhythm present. 332 00:12:41,346 --> 00:12:44,393 [AED charging] 333 00:12:44,436 --> 00:12:45,611 Clear. - Clear. 334 00:12:45,655 --> 00:12:47,048 - Shocking. [click] 335 00:12:47,091 --> 00:12:48,658 [monitor beeping] 336 00:12:48,701 --> 00:12:51,313 - Screen for [murmurs]. 337 00:12:51,356 --> 00:12:53,750 - Airway is patent. [beeping slows] 338 00:12:53,794 --> 00:12:54,882 - He's back. 339 00:12:54,925 --> 00:12:57,232 Normal sinus rhythm. - Pulse ox, 97. 340 00:12:57,275 --> 00:12:59,103 [door slams open] - Kwame. 341 00:12:59,147 --> 00:13:00,757 - Whoa, whoa. Hey, hey! - Are you all right? 342 00:13:00,801 --> 00:13:02,715 - No, out. You need to be out. - I'm responsible for him. 343 00:13:02,759 --> 00:13:04,021 - You don't have a mask! - I'm the president of 344 00:13:04,065 --> 00:13:05,327 his mission for the Church of Jesus Christ. 345 00:13:05,370 --> 00:13:08,330 - Elder Shumway. - It's gonna be okay. 346 00:13:08,373 --> 00:13:09,635 I'm here. 347 00:13:09,679 --> 00:13:11,420 - I'll get the lidocaine drip ready. 348 00:13:11,463 --> 00:13:12,595 - Tell me what happened. 349 00:13:16,164 --> 00:13:18,035 - I can't. 350 00:13:18,079 --> 00:13:20,908 - You can tell me anything. 351 00:13:20,951 --> 00:13:21,952 Remember? 352 00:13:24,128 --> 00:13:25,347 - I was... 353 00:13:28,916 --> 00:13:31,309 with a man. 354 00:13:37,489 --> 00:13:39,578 I have HIV. 355 00:13:45,106 --> 00:13:47,586 Please don't send me back. 356 00:13:47,630 --> 00:13:49,066 I want to finish my mission. 357 00:13:49,110 --> 00:13:52,635 The Church is all I have. God is all I have. 358 00:13:52,678 --> 00:13:55,377 - Then why did you turn your back on Him? 359 00:13:57,553 --> 00:13:59,033 Your mission is over. 360 00:14:01,992 --> 00:14:04,908 - Elder Shumway, please. 361 00:14:04,952 --> 00:14:07,389 Please! Please. 362 00:14:07,432 --> 00:14:09,695 - [whispers] Hey, it's okay, it's okay. 363 00:14:12,350 --> 00:14:15,005 - Vijay! Oh, hey. 364 00:14:18,487 --> 00:14:21,272 What's up? What's wrong? 365 00:14:21,316 --> 00:14:23,100 - He's not coming. 366 00:14:23,144 --> 00:14:25,624 - No, I don't know. He probably just forgot his glasses 367 00:14:25,668 --> 00:14:27,235 and he headed back to get them-- 368 00:14:27,278 --> 00:14:29,367 - I just got an email. 369 00:14:29,411 --> 00:14:31,717 The whole neurology department did. 370 00:14:31,761 --> 00:14:33,894 Dr. Kapoor just resigned. 371 00:14:38,768 --> 00:14:40,683 He's not coming back. 372 00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:44,556 Ever. 373 00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:47,472 [upbeat folksy music in background] 374 00:14:47,516 --> 00:14:54,088 ♪ 375 00:14:57,047 --> 00:14:59,180 - Okay, here's what I think is happening. 376 00:14:59,223 --> 00:14:59,963 I think you're embarrassed because 377 00:15:00,007 --> 00:15:01,704 you and I talk every day. 378 00:15:01,747 --> 00:15:04,620 And now you're worried that I'm gonna be mad 379 00:15:04,663 --> 00:15:07,101 because you've been lying to me literally the entire time. 380 00:15:07,144 --> 00:15:08,841 But I'm not. I'm not mad. 381 00:15:08,885 --> 00:15:10,539 I know that you have one of those 382 00:15:10,582 --> 00:15:13,324 ancient answering machines that you can actually hear me 383 00:15:13,368 --> 00:15:14,847 leaving a message for you right now. 384 00:15:14,891 --> 00:15:16,849 You can hear me talking. So just pick up. 385 00:15:16,893 --> 00:15:18,286 I'm not mad, I swear I'm not mad. 386 00:15:18,329 --> 00:15:19,374 [line beeps] 387 00:15:20,897 --> 00:15:22,203 Okay, you know what? I am mad. 388 00:15:22,246 --> 00:15:24,031 I'm pissed. I'm furious with you 389 00:15:24,074 --> 00:15:25,641 because I'm your best friend. 390 00:15:25,684 --> 00:15:27,556 You told the entire neurology department 391 00:15:27,599 --> 00:15:29,558 that you were resigning before you told me. 392 00:15:29,601 --> 00:15:30,776 Y-you still haven't told me 393 00:15:30,820 --> 00:15:33,083 because you won't pick up the phone! 394 00:15:33,127 --> 00:15:34,693 Pick up the phone, Vijay! 395 00:15:34,737 --> 00:15:36,130 [line beeps] 396 00:15:36,173 --> 00:15:38,262 Do you want to know where I was when 397 00:15:38,306 --> 00:15:39,568 I heard your little announcement? 398 00:15:39,611 --> 00:15:42,397 I was at your surprise party. Surprise! 399 00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:44,181 I planned you a party that you didn't show up to. 400 00:15:44,225 --> 00:15:46,357 And you know, I don't-- I don't deserve this. 401 00:15:46,401 --> 00:15:48,011 Vijay, I do not deserve this. 402 00:15:48,055 --> 00:15:50,318 Unless I'm just your deluded work friend 403 00:15:50,361 --> 00:15:52,363 who's been putting himself on for years. 404 00:15:52,407 --> 00:15:53,712 In that case, by all means-- [line beeps] 405 00:15:53,756 --> 00:15:55,062 Oh, n-- 406 00:15:56,715 --> 00:15:57,847 [groans] 407 00:15:57,890 --> 00:16:00,458 - [loud slurping] 408 00:16:01,807 --> 00:16:04,201 Oops. I forgot yours. 409 00:16:04,245 --> 00:16:07,074 - Um, Mr. Cournemeyer. 410 00:16:07,117 --> 00:16:08,336 Howie, listen-- 411 00:16:08,379 --> 00:16:10,033 - No, you listen. I'm not scared of you. 412 00:16:10,077 --> 00:16:12,035 I knew what I was doing was against the law. 413 00:16:12,079 --> 00:16:13,297 That was the point. 414 00:16:13,341 --> 00:16:15,125 You're way too young to remember any of this. 415 00:16:15,169 --> 00:16:17,388 But back in the '80s, at the height of AIDS? 416 00:16:17,432 --> 00:16:19,390 The healthcare industry failed its patients. 417 00:16:19,434 --> 00:16:21,914 New Amsterdam failed its patients. 418 00:16:21,958 --> 00:16:23,525 Gay men were treated like lepers. 419 00:16:23,568 --> 00:16:26,006 Your nurses wouldn't even touch friends of mine with AIDS. 420 00:16:26,049 --> 00:16:27,920 Just left them alone in the corners to die. 421 00:16:27,964 --> 00:16:29,400 - Let me assure you-- 422 00:16:29,444 --> 00:16:31,359 - Big pharma? Boy, do not get me started-- 423 00:16:31,402 --> 00:16:32,838 - I think that train's left the station. 424 00:16:32,882 --> 00:16:34,579 - Big pharma profiteered 425 00:16:34,623 --> 00:16:37,278 off the gay community's desperation to survive. 426 00:16:37,321 --> 00:16:39,628 So I decided to fight on behalf of those who had it. 427 00:16:39,671 --> 00:16:42,326 I became an activist. Then I joined ACT UP. 428 00:16:42,370 --> 00:16:43,762 And we did what we had to do. 429 00:16:43,806 --> 00:16:46,026 To make things right, to make some noise. 430 00:16:46,069 --> 00:16:47,766 And, so, yeah. 431 00:16:47,810 --> 00:16:50,073 That's why I stole the New Amsterdam seal. 432 00:16:50,117 --> 00:16:53,033 And why I encased it in a gigantic condom. 433 00:16:53,076 --> 00:16:55,078 And no, I will never give it back. 434 00:16:57,254 --> 00:16:59,256 - Wow, that's, uh, 435 00:16:59,300 --> 00:17:00,997 impressive, actually. 436 00:17:01,041 --> 00:17:02,781 But not why I'm here. 437 00:17:02,825 --> 00:17:04,131 - No. 438 00:17:04,174 --> 00:17:07,003 Not for the...big condom. 439 00:17:08,831 --> 00:17:13,314 - Uh, Mr. Cournemeyer, I came here to ask you 440 00:17:13,357 --> 00:17:14,619 how, 441 00:17:14,663 --> 00:17:17,187 in March of '86, you orchestrated a scheme 442 00:17:17,231 --> 00:17:20,234 to donate a thousand pints of blood under your name? 443 00:17:20,277 --> 00:17:22,366 - What? I would never have 444 00:17:22,410 --> 00:17:25,761 donated a single drop of my blood to your hospital, 445 00:17:25,804 --> 00:17:26,936 even to make a point. 446 00:17:26,979 --> 00:17:28,329 - But then why is your name-- 447 00:17:28,372 --> 00:17:32,159 - Come to think of it, March of '86, I was in jail. 448 00:17:32,202 --> 00:17:36,076 I demanded a coordinated national policy to fight AIDS 449 00:17:36,119 --> 00:17:38,469 by chaining myself to the Statehouse doors. 450 00:17:38,513 --> 00:17:39,992 They heard me. 451 00:17:40,036 --> 00:17:41,211 - In jail. 452 00:17:41,255 --> 00:17:43,170 - Wrong guy, Doc. 453 00:17:44,997 --> 00:17:46,521 [alarms beeping] 454 00:17:46,564 --> 00:17:47,435 - Esophageal? 455 00:17:47,478 --> 00:17:49,785 - No negative interactions. 456 00:17:51,003 --> 00:17:52,353 - I'm thinking variceal bleeding, 457 00:17:52,396 --> 00:17:53,832 likely from liver cancer. 458 00:17:53,876 --> 00:17:55,138 [alarms beeping] 459 00:17:55,182 --> 00:17:57,488 BP's dropping. Have you got that tube in yet? 460 00:17:57,532 --> 00:17:59,316 - I'm trying. - STEMI ruled out at this time. 461 00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:01,666 - Looks a bit more distal. 462 00:18:01,710 --> 00:18:03,407 - About 2 centimeters should do it. 463 00:18:03,451 --> 00:18:05,888 Right... [indistinct chatter] 464 00:18:05,931 --> 00:18:08,586 there. - Got it? 465 00:18:08,630 --> 00:18:10,110 - I think so. 466 00:18:10,153 --> 00:18:12,286 We should know once the bleeding stops. 467 00:18:12,329 --> 00:18:14,026 [alarm silences] - It's good for now. 468 00:18:14,070 --> 00:18:17,029 Fingers crossed that it holds. 469 00:18:17,073 --> 00:18:19,771 - How did she let herself get so bad? 470 00:18:19,815 --> 00:18:22,513 - Because apparently "HIV isn't scary anymore." 471 00:18:22,557 --> 00:18:25,734 - Yeah, I guess some people need to be scared. 472 00:18:29,172 --> 00:18:30,652 - Have a seat. 473 00:18:34,221 --> 00:18:36,832 I can't tell you about faith. 474 00:18:36,875 --> 00:18:39,051 But I saw what your Elder did. 475 00:18:39,095 --> 00:18:41,706 You shouldn't have to repent to someone who abandoned you 476 00:18:41,750 --> 00:18:44,535 at a time when you needed him the most. 477 00:18:44,579 --> 00:18:48,322 - Elder Shumway loves me like a father. 478 00:18:48,365 --> 00:18:51,107 He knew I was gay. 479 00:18:51,151 --> 00:18:54,458 He treated me with grace and acceptance. 480 00:18:54,502 --> 00:18:57,592 All he asked of me was to not act on my desires. 481 00:18:58,897 --> 00:19:01,726 He did not turn his back. 482 00:19:01,770 --> 00:19:03,728 I did. 483 00:19:03,772 --> 00:19:06,905 I threw God away. 484 00:19:06,949 --> 00:19:09,560 And this disease, 485 00:19:09,604 --> 00:19:12,563 it means I will never get God back. 486 00:19:19,179 --> 00:19:21,746 Is there a pill? 487 00:19:21,790 --> 00:19:22,921 A surgery? 488 00:19:22,965 --> 00:19:24,619 Anything to scrape these 489 00:19:24,662 --> 00:19:26,229 disgusting urges out of my body? 490 00:19:26,273 --> 00:19:27,752 - Kwame, Kwame. 491 00:19:29,711 --> 00:19:31,321 Brother, this is not disgusting. 492 00:19:31,365 --> 00:19:33,802 This is who you are. 493 00:19:33,845 --> 00:19:34,759 - [scoffs quietly] 494 00:19:37,762 --> 00:19:40,722 Sex is not who I am. 495 00:19:40,765 --> 00:19:43,115 I am my community. 496 00:19:43,159 --> 00:19:44,987 My family, my faith. 497 00:19:45,030 --> 00:19:46,467 I am an Elder 498 00:19:46,510 --> 00:19:50,210 in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. 499 00:19:50,253 --> 00:19:52,037 That is who I am. 500 00:19:52,081 --> 00:19:54,431 - That is not that simple. 501 00:19:54,475 --> 00:19:56,781 - But it is that simple. 502 00:19:56,825 --> 00:19:58,522 Think of the one thing 503 00:19:58,566 --> 00:20:00,785 you can't live without. 504 00:20:06,008 --> 00:20:08,489 That is who you are. 505 00:20:13,450 --> 00:20:15,060 - Well, so I gave it some thought, 506 00:20:15,104 --> 00:20:16,366 and I realized I was being 507 00:20:16,410 --> 00:20:18,281 way too stringent with the nanny requirements, 508 00:20:18,325 --> 00:20:20,065 so here's what I'm looking for now. 509 00:20:20,109 --> 00:20:23,634 Anyone. I will take anyone. Do you--do you have anyone? 510 00:20:23,678 --> 00:20:25,462 Dr. Val! Ma'am, I will take 511 00:20:25,506 --> 00:20:27,421 a well-trained Saint Bernard at this point. 512 00:20:27,464 --> 00:20:28,726 Okay, thank you very much. 513 00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:31,338 So Howie couldn't really shed any light. 514 00:20:31,381 --> 00:20:34,123 He did have a giant condom situation. 515 00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:35,472 Not really sure what that's about, 516 00:20:35,516 --> 00:20:36,995 but I'll deal with that tomorrow. 517 00:20:37,039 --> 00:20:38,301 - Makes sense. - Does it? 518 00:20:38,345 --> 00:20:40,347 I need to track down the head 519 00:20:40,390 --> 00:20:43,263 of the blood bank from 1986, and problem is, 520 00:20:43,306 --> 00:20:45,352 his information on his W-2 is outdated, 521 00:20:45,395 --> 00:20:47,179 so I was wondering if you could ask the older staff. 522 00:20:47,223 --> 00:20:48,398 Maybe they know him? 523 00:20:48,442 --> 00:20:49,878 - Oh, yeah, sure thing. What's the name? 524 00:20:49,921 --> 00:20:51,619 - Uh, Dale Rustin. 525 00:20:51,662 --> 00:20:53,490 - You sure? - Yeah, why? You know him? 526 00:20:53,534 --> 00:20:55,753 - No, but the whole blood bank's been talking about him. 527 00:20:55,797 --> 00:20:58,278 He's upstairs. - He still works here? 528 00:20:58,321 --> 00:21:00,410 - No, he's a patient. He's dying. 529 00:21:05,676 --> 00:21:07,548 - I'm sorry about that last phone call. 530 00:21:07,591 --> 00:21:10,377 Um, I didn't mean to dump all that on you. 531 00:21:13,380 --> 00:21:16,296 I love you, and I hope that you are okay. 532 00:21:19,299 --> 00:21:21,649 But I gotta draw a boundary here, Vijay. 533 00:21:24,913 --> 00:21:28,046 You need to pick up the phone, right now, 534 00:21:28,090 --> 00:21:33,530 or you and I can't ever be 535 00:21:33,574 --> 00:21:36,490 the same kind of friends anymore. 536 00:21:36,533 --> 00:21:37,665 At all, really. 537 00:21:44,933 --> 00:21:46,804 So pick up the phone. 538 00:21:53,898 --> 00:21:55,770 Pick up the phone, Vijay. 539 00:21:58,120 --> 00:22:00,296 [line beeps] 540 00:22:02,777 --> 00:22:03,734 [call ends] 541 00:22:05,867 --> 00:22:07,303 [sighs deeply] 542 00:22:13,265 --> 00:22:17,052 - Stage III Astrocytoma. 543 00:22:18,488 --> 00:22:19,924 I'm sorry to hear that. 544 00:22:22,231 --> 00:22:25,365 "New Amsterdam. Shame then, shame now." 545 00:22:27,149 --> 00:22:30,282 You wouldn't know anything about that, would you? 546 00:22:33,460 --> 00:22:38,726 - I had worse things to say about Medical Director Helms, 547 00:22:38,769 --> 00:22:41,859 but kids do use that hallway. 548 00:22:41,903 --> 00:22:44,384 - Dr. Helms is a pillar of this hospital. 549 00:22:44,427 --> 00:22:47,343 - [scoffs] 550 00:22:47,387 --> 00:22:48,475 - So you don't want to explain yourself? 551 00:22:48,518 --> 00:22:50,215 You just want to slander him anonymously? 552 00:22:50,259 --> 00:22:52,914 - I'd slander him to his face 553 00:22:52,957 --> 00:22:55,569 if I thought anybody would care. 554 00:22:55,612 --> 00:22:57,962 - Try me. 555 00:23:00,443 --> 00:23:05,579 - In 1986, this hospital needed blood. 556 00:23:05,622 --> 00:23:08,059 As so many did. 557 00:23:11,498 --> 00:23:15,284 But sexually active gay men 558 00:23:15,327 --> 00:23:18,200 were banned from donating it in this country, 559 00:23:18,243 --> 00:23:22,552 even if they knew they were HIV-negative. 560 00:23:22,596 --> 00:23:23,901 - That's not Helms' fault. 561 00:23:23,945 --> 00:23:25,990 It's... [sighs] 562 00:23:26,034 --> 00:23:27,122 it's the way the world was then. 563 00:23:27,165 --> 00:23:29,254 - Gay men can't donate 564 00:23:29,298 --> 00:23:33,433 convalescent plasma for COVID right now. 565 00:23:33,476 --> 00:23:35,435 So you tell me, 566 00:23:35,478 --> 00:23:38,394 what exactly changed? 567 00:23:38,438 --> 00:23:39,482 [gasps/groans] 568 00:23:40,657 --> 00:23:42,093 I'm fine. 569 00:23:46,010 --> 00:23:51,059 I was a gay HIV-negative man. 570 00:23:51,102 --> 00:23:53,191 My friends were dying. 571 00:23:55,846 --> 00:23:57,935 They needed blood. 572 00:24:00,503 --> 00:24:02,331 I couldn't donate. 573 00:24:05,247 --> 00:24:09,381 I was the head of the damn blood bank. 574 00:24:11,296 --> 00:24:15,344 You know what that feels like? 575 00:24:15,387 --> 00:24:18,826 A person has to do something. 576 00:24:18,869 --> 00:24:21,350 Has to act. 577 00:24:22,743 --> 00:24:24,658 - Like Howie Cournemeyer? 578 00:24:24,701 --> 00:24:27,965 - [chuckles] 579 00:24:30,881 --> 00:24:33,405 Howie was fearless. 580 00:24:33,449 --> 00:24:35,190 I never met him, 581 00:24:35,233 --> 00:24:40,543 but God, was he inspiring. 582 00:24:40,587 --> 00:24:43,807 He made it so simple. 583 00:24:43,851 --> 00:24:46,984 Just do something. 584 00:24:47,028 --> 00:24:49,683 Act up. 585 00:24:49,726 --> 00:24:51,554 And I did. 586 00:24:55,515 --> 00:24:59,301 - You had gay men hide their identities 587 00:24:59,344 --> 00:25:01,651 and donate 588 00:25:01,695 --> 00:25:03,653 using Howie's name. 589 00:25:05,046 --> 00:25:07,788 - That's the best thing to do in a plague. 590 00:25:07,831 --> 00:25:09,920 Give. 591 00:25:09,964 --> 00:25:12,575 Help. 592 00:25:12,619 --> 00:25:16,579 I got to see scared men going from 593 00:25:16,623 --> 00:25:19,843 helpless to heroes, 594 00:25:19,887 --> 00:25:22,672 drop by drop. 595 00:25:24,718 --> 00:25:26,981 Until... 596 00:25:27,024 --> 00:25:29,157 - Helms found out. 597 00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:31,986 - He said he'd fire me. 598 00:25:32,029 --> 00:25:35,032 My staff too. 599 00:25:35,076 --> 00:25:38,906 Howie Cournemeyer would have kept fighting, 600 00:25:38,949 --> 00:25:41,691 but I needed my job. 601 00:25:41,735 --> 00:25:44,041 So I shut the program down. 602 00:25:47,567 --> 00:25:49,177 And that's something I have to live with 603 00:25:49,220 --> 00:25:51,309 for the rest of my life. 604 00:25:59,187 --> 00:26:01,232 - You refilled this hospital's blood bank 605 00:26:01,276 --> 00:26:05,410 in under a month during a pandemic. 606 00:26:07,674 --> 00:26:09,632 You're a hero. 607 00:26:09,676 --> 00:26:13,636 - Yet you honor the man that made me a coward. 608 00:26:16,683 --> 00:26:20,643 The world is burning, Dr. Goodwin. 609 00:26:24,168 --> 00:26:27,128 And you spend your day hunting me down 610 00:26:27,171 --> 00:26:29,739 for defacing a photograph? 611 00:26:32,350 --> 00:26:37,007 Shame then, shame now. 612 00:26:43,492 --> 00:26:45,102 - You came back. 613 00:26:49,193 --> 00:26:51,065 - Reynolds? 614 00:26:52,719 --> 00:26:54,677 What was that? 615 00:26:54,721 --> 00:26:57,158 - What Kwame wants more than anything 616 00:26:57,201 --> 00:27:00,030 is to be a Mormon husband to a Mormon wife, 617 00:27:00,074 --> 00:27:01,641 and he thought he lost that. 618 00:27:01,684 --> 00:27:03,425 - He has lost that. He's gay. 619 00:27:03,468 --> 00:27:05,340 - No, no. He thought he lost that 620 00:27:05,383 --> 00:27:07,342 because he's HIV-positive, 621 00:27:07,385 --> 00:27:09,736 and he thought that meant that he couldn't have children. 622 00:27:09,779 --> 00:27:12,956 Which is the cornerstone of his spiritual community. 623 00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:14,915 - Gay people can have children. 624 00:27:14,958 --> 00:27:18,396 - But between HART therapy and PrEP, of course, 625 00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:21,095 HIV can be untransmittable and safe for conception. 626 00:27:21,138 --> 00:27:23,575 So I called the Elder, let him know that, 627 00:27:23,619 --> 00:27:25,665 and he feels there's a path for Kwame. 628 00:27:25,708 --> 00:27:28,058 He even suggested that he can marry a woman 629 00:27:28,102 --> 00:27:30,104 who knows about his struggles. 630 00:27:31,888 --> 00:27:33,716 - Are you kidding me? 631 00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:35,500 You used the science of HIV 632 00:27:35,544 --> 00:27:38,460 to put someone back into the closet. 633 00:27:38,503 --> 00:27:40,723 - Well, that's-- that's what he wants. 634 00:27:40,767 --> 00:27:43,465 - So if he wanted to shoot himself in the head, 635 00:27:43,508 --> 00:27:45,249 where would you have stood on that? 636 00:27:45,293 --> 00:27:47,338 - What if he wanted to leave the E.D. 637 00:27:47,382 --> 00:27:48,862 with a failing pancreas? 638 00:27:48,905 --> 00:27:51,255 You think I like this? I don't. 639 00:27:51,299 --> 00:27:53,867 But we can't pick and choose when to respect 640 00:27:53,910 --> 00:27:55,216 our patient's wishes. 641 00:27:55,259 --> 00:27:58,045 And being a Mormon is more important to Kwame 642 00:27:58,088 --> 00:27:59,524 than his sexuality. 643 00:27:59,568 --> 00:28:01,570 - Well, the guy he had unprotected sex with 644 00:28:01,613 --> 00:28:03,572 disagrees with you. - Oh, come on. 645 00:28:03,615 --> 00:28:05,879 Nobody's torturing him. He's choosing this. 646 00:28:05,922 --> 00:28:06,967 - Yes. 647 00:28:07,010 --> 00:28:09,360 Yeah, he is choosing a life 648 00:28:09,404 --> 00:28:11,493 based on the idea that he has to 649 00:28:11,536 --> 00:28:14,017 be somebody that he's not. 650 00:28:14,061 --> 00:28:17,238 Because there's something wrong with who he is. 651 00:28:17,281 --> 00:28:20,067 Look, I get what you were trying to do here, Floyd, 652 00:28:20,110 --> 00:28:23,374 but we're talking about his heart. 653 00:28:39,216 --> 00:28:41,175 - Well, hello there. 654 00:28:41,218 --> 00:28:44,613 So, I noticed that you went out earlier. 655 00:28:44,656 --> 00:28:47,355 - Yes. With Kevin. He's my old friend. 656 00:28:47,398 --> 00:28:49,574 - Your old friend? - Yes. 657 00:28:49,618 --> 00:28:51,185 You've been in New York five hours, 658 00:28:51,228 --> 00:28:52,403 and you've got an old friend? 659 00:28:52,447 --> 00:28:53,535 - He's a friend from the internet. 660 00:28:53,578 --> 00:28:55,276 From when we were kids. 661 00:28:55,319 --> 00:28:57,713 - I see. And he's, um, 662 00:28:57,757 --> 00:28:59,671 how old? 663 00:28:59,715 --> 00:29:02,457 - I'm not sure. Can I go to your office now? 664 00:29:02,500 --> 00:29:05,808 - Mina. Did you get my texts? 665 00:29:05,852 --> 00:29:07,636 - I was busy. 666 00:29:07,679 --> 00:29:09,159 - Busy. 667 00:29:09,203 --> 00:29:10,813 - Is there a problem? 668 00:29:10,857 --> 00:29:13,250 I thought you said to treat you like a friend. 669 00:29:13,294 --> 00:29:14,643 - Yep, absolutely. 670 00:29:14,686 --> 00:29:17,037 - And I didn't text any of my friends 671 00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:18,734 to tell them that I was hanging out with Kevin. 672 00:29:18,778 --> 00:29:20,388 - Yes, no, of course. It's just, um, 673 00:29:20,431 --> 00:29:22,520 you've never been to New York before. 674 00:29:22,564 --> 00:29:25,480 - Oh, it's a lot like Tehran, just a little less crowded. 675 00:29:25,523 --> 00:29:27,612 I'll see you when you're done? 676 00:29:30,746 --> 00:29:31,791 - [sighs] 677 00:29:33,053 --> 00:29:35,490 - Max, you wanted to see me. 678 00:29:35,533 --> 00:29:37,492 - Hey, George. I, uh... 679 00:29:39,711 --> 00:29:41,713 I heard about Howie Cournemeyer. 680 00:29:45,500 --> 00:29:49,243 - Oh, I know how that looks. 681 00:29:49,286 --> 00:29:51,811 If I let that continue for one more day, 682 00:29:51,854 --> 00:29:55,553 it would have been an unmitigated disaster. 683 00:29:55,597 --> 00:30:00,341 - It did circumvent a ugly, very discriminatory regulation. 684 00:30:00,384 --> 00:30:03,474 - No, no, it violated federal policy. 685 00:30:03,518 --> 00:30:04,693 I may have been a maverick, 686 00:30:04,736 --> 00:30:06,826 but I wasn't about to become a criminal. 687 00:30:06,869 --> 00:30:10,264 The liability alone would have crippled us. 688 00:30:10,307 --> 00:30:13,745 - What did you do with all that blood? 689 00:30:13,789 --> 00:30:15,443 - Disposed of it. 690 00:30:15,486 --> 00:30:17,532 - Even though all donated blood is screened? 691 00:30:17,575 --> 00:30:20,535 You threw it away, George. 692 00:30:20,578 --> 00:30:22,145 You could have helped people. 693 00:30:22,189 --> 00:30:24,278 And you chose not to. 694 00:30:30,371 --> 00:30:31,851 - You know, the last time I checked, 695 00:30:31,894 --> 00:30:35,158 those were still the FDA guidelines. 696 00:30:35,202 --> 00:30:37,030 And as far as I can tell, 697 00:30:37,073 --> 00:30:42,513 you aren't doing a damn thing about them either. 698 00:30:46,953 --> 00:30:51,696 [phone rings] 699 00:30:51,740 --> 00:30:54,351 - Ella? Hi. - Hey, hey, Dr. Frome. 700 00:30:54,395 --> 00:30:56,136 - Hi, are you okay? 701 00:30:56,179 --> 00:30:57,398 What about Vijay? What's happening? 702 00:30:57,441 --> 00:30:59,226 - No, hey, we're good. We're all good. 703 00:30:59,269 --> 00:31:00,923 Um, I just have to be quick 704 00:31:00,967 --> 00:31:02,229 'cause he doesn't know I'm calling you. 705 00:31:02,272 --> 00:31:03,883 I heard your messages. 706 00:31:03,926 --> 00:31:06,755 - Okay, well, I'm glad somebody did. 707 00:31:06,798 --> 00:31:10,063 - Yeah, uh, Iggy, you have been so good to him. 708 00:31:10,106 --> 00:31:12,065 To me. - [exhales] 709 00:31:12,108 --> 00:31:14,458 - You deserve to know what's going on. 710 00:31:16,634 --> 00:31:18,419 - You know, honestly, Ella, I don't-- 711 00:31:18,462 --> 00:31:21,335 I don't really care anymore, so-- 712 00:31:21,378 --> 00:31:24,077 - Vijay's doctor told him he's never gonna work again. 713 00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:27,994 Um, about a month ago. He didn't want to believe it. 714 00:31:28,037 --> 00:31:29,560 He kept saying that the guy was crazy, 715 00:31:29,604 --> 00:31:31,040 didn't know what he was talking about. 716 00:31:31,084 --> 00:31:33,782 But, um, a couple days after, he got ready, 717 00:31:33,825 --> 00:31:36,089 and decided to come into the hospital early, 718 00:31:36,132 --> 00:31:38,134 and surprise everybody. 719 00:31:38,178 --> 00:31:40,702 Um, he couldn't make it out the front door. 720 00:31:48,144 --> 00:31:50,755 He won't talk to me about it. 721 00:31:50,799 --> 00:31:52,670 He won't talk to anyone right now. 722 00:31:52,714 --> 00:31:55,282 So, um, 723 00:31:55,325 --> 00:31:57,806 that's why I had to call. 724 00:31:57,849 --> 00:32:00,287 You know, so you'd know. - Yeah. 725 00:32:00,330 --> 00:32:02,724 - Uh, a couple days ago, 726 00:32:02,767 --> 00:32:04,508 he told me a story about you. 727 00:32:04,552 --> 00:32:07,120 About a patient who thought he was dead? 728 00:32:07,163 --> 00:32:09,339 - Yeah. Yeah, I remember. 729 00:32:09,383 --> 00:32:11,820 - And Vijay said how much you helped the guy. 730 00:32:11,863 --> 00:32:15,215 Helped his fiancée to understand. 731 00:32:15,258 --> 00:32:16,999 And Vijay said that 732 00:32:17,043 --> 00:32:20,002 he might have saved the guy's life but-- 733 00:32:20,046 --> 00:32:22,700 but you saved his soul. 734 00:32:22,744 --> 00:32:24,093 That's what you do. 735 00:32:24,137 --> 00:32:26,878 Dr. Frome, you just go around saving souls. 736 00:32:29,490 --> 00:32:30,665 - [sighs] 737 00:32:30,708 --> 00:32:32,449 I learned from the best. 738 00:32:34,408 --> 00:32:36,888 [sniffles] 739 00:32:40,022 --> 00:32:42,198 - Great news. It's just a hemangioma, 740 00:32:42,242 --> 00:32:43,504 which is a collection of blood vessels 741 00:32:43,547 --> 00:32:44,853 that should disappear on their own. 742 00:32:44,896 --> 00:32:46,202 - Oh, my God. Thank God. 743 00:32:46,246 --> 00:32:48,117 Okay. - So, next step is to 744 00:32:48,161 --> 00:32:49,858 adjust your antiretrovirals. 745 00:32:49,901 --> 00:32:51,381 I'll need to see you back here tomorrow. 746 00:32:51,425 --> 00:32:52,556 - Oh, my God, I'm so behind on work. 747 00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:54,428 There's no way I can come in tomorrow. 748 00:32:55,995 --> 00:32:57,300 Your HIV care is important, Karla. 749 00:32:57,344 --> 00:32:58,998 - Yes, I know it's important, 750 00:32:59,041 --> 00:33:00,782 but it didn't give me cancer, right? 751 00:33:00,825 --> 00:33:02,436 Didn't almost kill me. 752 00:33:02,479 --> 00:33:04,525 So can I call you when I come back up for air? 753 00:33:06,309 --> 00:33:09,008 - Perfect. Next time I see you, it'll be in the morgue. 754 00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:14,491 You are walking out of here. 755 00:33:14,535 --> 00:33:16,058 You're lucky, 'cause the kind of cancer 756 00:33:16,102 --> 00:33:17,451 we thought you had is deadly, 757 00:33:17,494 --> 00:33:20,454 and it's God's own luck that you don't have it. 758 00:33:20,497 --> 00:33:23,022 If what you take from this is that you can continue 759 00:33:23,065 --> 00:33:24,632 treating your HIV like it's hay fever, 760 00:33:24,675 --> 00:33:26,503 then I have no doubt I'll be seeing you very soon, 761 00:33:26,547 --> 00:33:28,505 whether you have room in your schedule or not. 762 00:33:29,898 --> 00:33:31,378 - Um, tomorrow's good. 763 00:33:35,773 --> 00:33:36,992 - I can take him from here. 764 00:33:37,036 --> 00:33:38,863 - Ah, this one. 765 00:33:38,907 --> 00:33:40,909 - This one, unfortunately. You mind? 766 00:33:40,952 --> 00:33:43,651 - I don't retract a word I wrote. 767 00:33:43,694 --> 00:33:45,870 Shame then, shame now. 768 00:33:45,914 --> 00:33:49,222 Yeah, well, I hope you don't, because you were right. 769 00:33:50,571 --> 00:33:53,922 Dale, I'd like you to meet Howie Cournemeyer. 770 00:33:58,361 --> 00:34:00,581 - Mr. Cournemeyer-- - Howie. 771 00:34:02,757 --> 00:34:04,628 Excited to meet you. 772 00:34:04,672 --> 00:34:06,587 - You know, the gay blood ban? 773 00:34:06,630 --> 00:34:08,067 It's not just a regulation. 774 00:34:08,110 --> 00:34:09,546 It's hate. 775 00:34:09,590 --> 00:34:11,940 We should be ashamed for allowing it. 776 00:34:11,983 --> 00:34:15,378 So I'm initiating a new policy regarding the gay blood ban. 777 00:34:15,422 --> 00:34:17,076 I'm ignoring it. 778 00:34:17,119 --> 00:34:19,600 And Howie is our first donor. 779 00:34:23,256 --> 00:34:25,693 - You can't. They'll strip your funding. 780 00:34:28,217 --> 00:34:30,001 - [whispers] Yeah. 781 00:34:30,045 --> 00:34:31,699 Well, then we'll just take them to court. 782 00:34:31,742 --> 00:34:33,222 And when we win, 783 00:34:33,266 --> 00:34:37,096 they will throw that bigoted law in the trash, 784 00:34:37,139 --> 00:34:39,098 thanks to you. 785 00:34:43,667 --> 00:34:47,193 - I've been screaming about this nonsense for 30 years, 786 00:34:47,236 --> 00:34:50,457 and nothing happened. 787 00:34:50,500 --> 00:34:52,285 Look what you did. 788 00:34:55,897 --> 00:34:59,640 - [sobs] 789 00:35:02,730 --> 00:35:05,124 - Hey, I'm finishing my chart on Karla. 790 00:35:05,167 --> 00:35:06,603 Any surprises at discharge? 791 00:35:06,647 --> 00:35:09,128 - Uh, no. She just needed a little bit of tough love. 792 00:35:09,171 --> 00:35:10,607 - Scared her to death, huh? - [chuckles] 793 00:35:10,651 --> 00:35:12,609 - Love it when you get all Mama Bear. 794 00:35:12,653 --> 00:35:14,133 - A quality that's deserted me now that 795 00:35:14,176 --> 00:35:16,570 there's a Baby Bear in my office. 796 00:35:16,613 --> 00:35:18,789 Um, honestly, 797 00:35:18,833 --> 00:35:20,356 Mina walked all over me today, 798 00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:21,879 and I'm just letting her do it. 799 00:35:21,923 --> 00:35:23,185 I--I don't know what to say. 800 00:35:23,229 --> 00:35:26,145 - Just talk to her like she's a patient. 801 00:35:26,188 --> 00:35:27,711 - But she's not. 802 00:35:27,755 --> 00:35:30,279 I mean her father's just died, she's in a new country. 803 00:35:30,323 --> 00:35:31,715 If someone should be playing bad cop with her, 804 00:35:31,759 --> 00:35:33,674 it really shouldn't be me. I barely know her. 805 00:35:33,717 --> 00:35:35,371 I'm not her aunt at all. Really, I'm just-- 806 00:35:35,415 --> 00:35:38,418 [chuckles] some woman. 807 00:35:38,461 --> 00:35:40,768 - My sister and I, we're both addicts 808 00:35:40,811 --> 00:35:42,639 who only trust chaos and 809 00:35:42,683 --> 00:35:45,729 are incapable of having intimate relationships. 810 00:35:45,773 --> 00:35:48,950 That's what happens when no one gives you boundaries. 811 00:35:48,993 --> 00:35:50,734 You're all Mina has now. 812 00:35:50,778 --> 00:35:53,563 You've got to be her mother, her aunt, her friend. 813 00:35:53,607 --> 00:35:54,912 Her everything. 814 00:35:54,956 --> 00:35:58,177 And if you can't do that then, yeah, you're right. 815 00:35:58,220 --> 00:36:02,268 You're just some woman who doesn't deserve her. 816 00:36:02,311 --> 00:36:05,532 - Those are wise words coming from someone that 817 00:36:05,575 --> 00:36:07,925 let a stranger live in our storage closet. 818 00:36:07,969 --> 00:36:10,014 - Well, you can't win 'em all. 819 00:36:10,058 --> 00:36:12,365 - [chuckles] - Good luck. 820 00:36:12,408 --> 00:36:13,409 - [sighs] 821 00:36:16,151 --> 00:36:17,196 [clears throat] 822 00:36:19,241 --> 00:36:21,200 - Hi! - Here's Baby Dahmer. 823 00:36:21,243 --> 00:36:23,071 - That bad? 824 00:36:23,114 --> 00:36:25,595 - When she wasn't gnawing on me, 825 00:36:25,639 --> 00:36:27,684 I checked out some parenting blogs. 826 00:36:27,728 --> 00:36:30,034 Um, apparently biting's pretty normal, 827 00:36:30,078 --> 00:36:31,949 so I wouldn't, like, beat yourself up. 828 00:36:31,993 --> 00:36:35,866 - Yeah, I guess it's their way of, I don't know, acting out. 829 00:36:35,910 --> 00:36:39,696 I--she's trying to tell me she's missing something. 830 00:36:39,740 --> 00:36:42,525 - Yeah, her data plan, by the looks of it. 831 00:36:45,746 --> 00:36:47,791 - Her grandma. 832 00:36:47,835 --> 00:36:49,402 - Oh, problem solved. 833 00:36:49,445 --> 00:36:51,186 Can't she just spend more time with her? 834 00:36:51,230 --> 00:36:53,362 - Uh... 835 00:36:55,103 --> 00:36:56,931 Gwen would love nothing more. 836 00:36:56,974 --> 00:37:00,108 - And that's bad because...? 837 00:37:03,329 --> 00:37:06,332 - Just means I can't do this on my own. 838 00:37:11,815 --> 00:37:14,078 - Max. 839 00:37:14,122 --> 00:37:16,255 I don't think you're supposed to. 840 00:37:21,956 --> 00:37:24,915 - Days like this make me think of His mysterious ways. 841 00:37:24,959 --> 00:37:28,571 [indistinct conversation] 842 00:37:34,142 --> 00:37:35,752 [click] 843 00:37:35,796 --> 00:37:37,885 [video call rings] 844 00:37:37,928 --> 00:37:39,452 - Hey. 845 00:37:39,495 --> 00:37:41,410 - Floyd. 846 00:37:41,454 --> 00:37:43,020 Did the Venmo not go through? 847 00:37:43,064 --> 00:37:44,761 - No, no, everything's all good. 848 00:37:44,805 --> 00:37:47,068 Uh, I was just thinking. 849 00:37:47,111 --> 00:37:49,026 Well, not thinking. 850 00:37:49,070 --> 00:37:50,724 I, uh... 851 00:37:52,639 --> 00:37:55,076 I know that-- 852 00:37:55,119 --> 00:37:57,034 - Know what? 853 00:37:57,078 --> 00:37:58,297 - That I made a mistake. 854 00:38:00,168 --> 00:38:01,343 - Floyd, I-- 855 00:38:01,387 --> 00:38:02,431 - You know that old school joint, 856 00:38:02,475 --> 00:38:04,303 "If loving you is wrong--" - Floyd. 857 00:38:04,346 --> 00:38:05,739 - I know you feel me. 858 00:38:07,306 --> 00:38:08,785 - I do. 859 00:38:08,829 --> 00:38:11,745 [chuckles] 860 00:38:11,788 --> 00:38:13,050 I do. 861 00:38:13,094 --> 00:38:15,966 But I also know that I'm nobody's wrong. 862 00:38:16,010 --> 00:38:18,621 And if I were your right, 863 00:38:18,665 --> 00:38:24,018 we wouldn't be having this talk thousands of miles apart. 864 00:38:24,061 --> 00:38:25,933 - But if our love was real, 865 00:38:25,976 --> 00:38:29,110 you know, we can cover that. 866 00:38:29,153 --> 00:38:31,330 - The "if" 867 00:38:31,373 --> 00:38:33,506 is doing all the lifting in that statement. 868 00:38:35,464 --> 00:38:37,771 - You saying it wasn't real? 869 00:38:37,814 --> 00:38:40,164 - I'm just saying 870 00:38:40,208 --> 00:38:43,254 that whatever it was, 871 00:38:43,298 --> 00:38:46,432 it obviously wasn't enough for you. 872 00:38:46,475 --> 00:38:48,216 You need to own it, Floyd. 873 00:38:50,958 --> 00:38:52,916 You made your choice. 874 00:38:54,483 --> 00:38:56,703 And so have I. 875 00:38:57,704 --> 00:38:59,096 - Evie-- 876 00:38:59,140 --> 00:39:02,056 [somber piano music] 877 00:39:02,099 --> 00:39:09,237 ♪ 878 00:39:11,065 --> 00:39:14,503 [line rings] 879 00:39:14,547 --> 00:39:15,765 - Hi, Gwen. - Is everything okay? 880 00:39:15,809 --> 00:39:17,288 - No, no, no, everything's fine. 881 00:39:17,332 --> 00:39:20,509 - Um, uh... 882 00:39:20,553 --> 00:39:23,207 Well, we were just wondering if, um, 883 00:39:23,251 --> 00:39:25,558 you might be able to come over. 884 00:39:25,601 --> 00:39:27,951 Uh, 885 00:39:27,995 --> 00:39:31,999 a few days a week? 886 00:39:32,042 --> 00:39:34,871 I think Luna really needs ya. 887 00:39:34,915 --> 00:39:38,701 And, uh, 888 00:39:38,745 --> 00:39:41,051 I think I really need the help. 889 00:39:41,095 --> 00:39:42,792 ["By the Time It Gets Dark" by Yo La Tengo playing] 890 00:39:42,836 --> 00:39:48,015 - ♪ Baby, every cloud has a silver lining ♪ 891 00:39:48,058 --> 00:39:53,890 ♪ Baby, every dog really has its day ♪ 892 00:39:53,934 --> 00:39:59,069 ♪ And it matters to me to see you smiling ♪ 893 00:39:59,113 --> 00:40:04,248 ♪ Why don't we blow all your cares away ♪ 894 00:40:04,292 --> 00:40:09,602 ♪ Yesterday's gone and will be forgotten ♪ 895 00:40:09,645 --> 00:40:15,042 ♪ And today is where every new day starts ♪ 896 00:40:15,085 --> 00:40:16,435 - Hey. - Hey. 897 00:40:18,611 --> 00:40:20,221 - How was your day? 898 00:40:20,264 --> 00:40:22,832 - Ugh, long. How 'bout yours? 899 00:40:22,876 --> 00:40:25,835 - Oh, my God, so long. So long. 900 00:40:28,664 --> 00:40:30,449 Can you remind me whose bright idea it was 901 00:40:30,492 --> 00:40:32,494 to put a full-length mirror in our bedroom? 902 00:40:32,538 --> 00:40:34,714 - Uh, yours? 903 00:40:34,757 --> 00:40:38,108 - [chuckles] Course. 904 00:40:38,152 --> 00:40:41,721 Glutton for punishment. 905 00:40:41,764 --> 00:40:45,028 [exhales deeply] 906 00:40:45,072 --> 00:40:47,857 Vijay resigned today. 907 00:40:47,901 --> 00:40:50,773 - Oh, no, really? 908 00:40:50,817 --> 00:40:52,558 - Yeah, I was really upset about it for 909 00:40:52,601 --> 00:40:54,473 most of the day, actually. 910 00:40:54,516 --> 00:40:57,476 Selfishly. 911 00:40:57,519 --> 00:40:59,521 He validates me, you know. - Mm-hmm. 912 00:40:59,565 --> 00:41:01,567 Waiting most of my life for a father figure 913 00:41:01,610 --> 00:41:03,960 to tell me that I'm good enough. 914 00:41:04,004 --> 00:41:05,527 Now he's gone. 915 00:41:05,571 --> 00:41:08,617 - Hey, I'm sorry. - [sighs] 916 00:41:11,141 --> 00:41:14,144 It's okay. 917 00:41:14,188 --> 00:41:16,582 Because I, um, 918 00:41:16,625 --> 00:41:19,541 I think it's time that I start to feel 919 00:41:19,585 --> 00:41:23,197 like I'm good enough on my own. 920 00:41:23,240 --> 00:41:25,765 I want to look in this mirror 921 00:41:25,808 --> 00:41:27,680 and I want to see someone... 922 00:41:30,334 --> 00:41:32,641 Good enough. 923 00:41:32,685 --> 00:41:38,517 - ♪ By the evening we'll be laughing ♪ 924 00:41:38,560 --> 00:41:42,869 ♪ Just wait and see all the changes there'll be ♪ 925 00:41:42,912 --> 00:41:47,830 ♪ By the time it gets dark 926 00:41:47,874 --> 00:41:50,093 - You are... 927 00:41:50,137 --> 00:41:51,399 more than good enough. 928 00:41:51,442 --> 00:41:55,142 - ♪ By the evening we'll be laughing ♪ 929 00:41:55,185 --> 00:41:57,013 - You're beautiful. 930 00:41:57,057 --> 00:42:01,496 - ♪ Just wait and see all the changes there'll be ♪ 931 00:42:01,540 --> 00:42:04,978 ♪ By the time it gets dark 932 00:42:05,021 --> 00:42:07,371 - No. No, no, no, 933 00:42:07,415 --> 00:42:12,463 Leave 'em on. 934 00:42:12,507 --> 00:42:17,643 - ♪ By the time it gets dark 935 00:42:17,686 --> 00:42:20,907 ♪ By the time it gets dark