1 00:00:10,488 --> 00:00:12,248 How's that 2 00:00:12,328 --> 00:00:14,368 Not really. You're just dry humping my leg. 3 00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:16,328 Okay, um, let's switch positions. 4 00:00:20,208 --> 00:00:22,168 What about this? 5 00:00:22,848 --> 00:00:24,048 Oh, leg cramp! 6 00:00:24,128 --> 00:00:28,888 -Oh! Ooh! Okay. Oh, yeah. 7 00:00:28,968 --> 00:00:30,928 -Oh! Oh! 8 00:00:31,208 --> 00:00:32,608 -Oh! 9 00:00:32,688 --> 00:00:34,248 Do you have to be so vigorous? 10 00:00:34,328 --> 00:00:35,688 Sex is meant to be vigorous. 11 00:00:36,088 --> 00:00:38,248 -Oh! -Okay, time out. Time out. 12 00:00:41,808 --> 00:00:44,648 Um... 13 00:00:44,728 --> 00:00:47,528 Do you want me to go down on you 14 00:00:48,648 --> 00:00:50,648 Or we could watch Blue Planet? 15 00:00:50,728 --> 00:00:54,288 Okay. 16 00:00:58,968 --> 00:01:01,448 Well, the silky sharks are a beautiful shark. 17 00:01:01,528 --> 00:01:06,408 And what makes them even more fascinating is that there are thousands of them here. 18 00:01:19,088 --> 00:01:21,088 Minge! 19 00:01:21,168 --> 00:01:23,048 That's enough. 20 00:01:23,128 --> 00:01:24,648 Settle down. 21 00:02:04,528 --> 00:02:05,968 -Ah-ha! -Hey. 22 00:02:06,048 --> 00:02:07,808 -You're in love with Maeve. -What? 23 00:02:07,888 --> 00:02:09,968 -I'm not... I'm not in love. -Mm-hm. 24 00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:10,928 Don't be ridiculous. 25 00:02:11,008 --> 00:02:13,088 You’ve been glued to your phone for, like, three weeks, 26 00:02:13,168 --> 00:02:14,808 and every time she texts you, this happens. 27 00:02:14,888 --> 00:02:16,728 -What happens? Oh, sorry. -Watch it, breadstick. 28 00:02:16,808 --> 00:02:17,968 Okay. Have a nice day. 29 00:02:18,048 --> 00:02:21,608 This! You turn into smiley, happy cupcake Otis. It’s weird. 30 00:02:21,688 --> 00:02:23,248 I don't know what you're talking about. 31 00:02:23,328 --> 00:02:25,648 Maeve and I are work colleagues and we're friends. That’s it. 32 00:02:25,728 --> 00:02:28,528 -Yeah. Friends. -Boys and girls can be friends. 33 00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:30,808 Yeah, sure. Their genitals can be friends. 34 00:02:30,888 --> 00:02:33,048 I thought you said Maeve was with Jackson now, anyway. 35 00:02:33,128 --> 00:02:35,968 They're not with each other. They’re just, you know... 36 00:02:36,048 --> 00:02:38,848 Having super-hot, athletic, sweaty intercourse? 37 00:02:38,928 --> 00:02:40,448 -Casual sex. -Uh! Uh! 38 00:02:41,048 --> 00:02:43,128 You seem to know a lot about her relationship status. 39 00:02:43,208 --> 00:02:45,848 Yes, because we're friends and friends share things. 40 00:02:45,928 --> 00:02:47,048 Like bodily fluids? 41 00:02:47,608 --> 00:02:48,448 Hey, look. 42 00:02:49,448 --> 00:02:50,968 -Still looking for a job? -Hah, yeah. 43 00:02:51,048 --> 00:02:52,728 Nice try, but you can't distract me 44 00:02:52,808 --> 00:02:54,968 from the fact that you're clearly in love with Maeve! 45 00:03:28,328 --> 00:03:30,648 -That was good. -Yeah. 46 00:03:37,488 --> 00:03:40,408 I haven’t seen you for a while. I thought you didn't wanna hook up anymore. 47 00:03:40,568 --> 00:03:42,088 -I've been busy. -All right. 48 00:03:44,048 --> 00:03:45,368 Do you wanna hang out later? 49 00:03:45,448 --> 00:03:47,208 -We just had sex. -I mean, like... 50 00:03:47,808 --> 00:03:49,528 You know, hang out. 51 00:03:50,488 --> 00:03:52,768 Jackson, I’m not offended that you wanna keep this a secret. 52 00:03:53,008 --> 00:03:54,248 It’s casual and it works for me. 53 00:03:54,328 --> 00:03:56,968 You don't have to try and be honorable and shit. Okay? 54 00:03:57,688 --> 00:03:58,688 See you later. 55 00:03:59,728 --> 00:04:00,768 Sh... 56 00:04:10,008 --> 00:04:11,528 Oh, my God. Jackson is so hot. 57 00:04:12,368 --> 00:04:15,248 Jackson is looking at us. God. 58 00:04:17,848 --> 00:04:19,928 -Jackson's approaching us. -Mind if I join you? 59 00:04:20,008 --> 00:04:21,288 -Jackson is here. -Uh... 60 00:04:21,368 --> 00:04:22,888 -You know Maeve, right? -Nah. 61 00:04:23,328 --> 00:04:24,448 Yes, you do. He does. 62 00:04:24,528 --> 00:04:27,888 Well, yeah, I mean... we're friends. We're just friends, you know. 63 00:04:27,968 --> 00:04:29,448 -Hey, man, I'm-- -Handsome. 64 00:04:29,848 --> 00:04:32,528 -Sorry, you are... -Eric. 65 00:04:33,448 --> 00:04:34,288 Eric. 66 00:04:35,528 --> 00:04:37,648 Some people know me as Tromboner. 67 00:04:39,888 --> 00:04:41,168 -So, I need your help. -Me? 68 00:04:41,248 --> 00:04:42,728 I mean... me? 69 00:04:42,808 --> 00:04:45,408 -Well, Maeve and I, we're, you know-- -Boning. 70 00:04:45,488 --> 00:04:46,688 Yeah. And it's great. 71 00:04:46,768 --> 00:04:49,648 But I've sort of realized that I want her to hang around with me more. 72 00:04:49,728 --> 00:04:51,368 -Mm. -You know, afterwards. 73 00:04:51,448 --> 00:04:54,248 -After the boning. Mm. -Yeah, so I thought you could help me out. 74 00:04:54,928 --> 00:04:57,648 You want him to help you get Maeve to be your girlfriend? 75 00:04:57,728 --> 00:04:58,568 Yeah. 76 00:04:58,968 --> 00:05:01,088 Yeah, I don't really know what I can do. 77 00:05:01,168 --> 00:05:02,128 -So... 78 00:05:02,208 --> 00:05:04,208 -Well, I mean, you're her friend. -You're her friend? 79 00:05:04,288 --> 00:05:06,488 And I heard you sort of give out sex advice. 80 00:05:06,568 --> 00:05:08,328 -Yeah, he does. -Yeah. 81 00:05:08,408 --> 00:05:11,288 So I thought you were the right person to talk to. 82 00:05:12,528 --> 00:05:15,168 -I mean, I can pay, if that's the problem. 83 00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:17,088 -I... -Oh, shit, I've gotta run. 84 00:05:17,168 --> 00:05:18,448 -Let’s catch up later. -Wait, no. 85 00:05:18,528 --> 00:05:20,528 -I really appreciate this, man. Take care. -Yeah. 86 00:05:20,608 --> 00:05:21,568 This... 87 00:05:27,768 --> 00:05:29,168 Is that Jackson's new girlfriend? 88 00:05:30,168 --> 00:05:32,968 Oh! Ha! You are like a pimp. 89 00:05:33,528 --> 00:05:36,048 And not the cool Snoop Dogg kind. 90 00:05:36,568 --> 00:05:38,368 Hm! 91 00:05:40,688 --> 00:05:41,648 D. 92 00:05:43,488 --> 00:05:44,728 D. 93 00:05:46,168 --> 00:05:47,088 E. 94 00:05:47,608 --> 00:05:50,208 And on this one you just drew a picture of a-- 95 00:05:50,288 --> 00:05:52,448 That's a... It's a woman's behind. 96 00:05:52,528 --> 00:05:54,168 There. There's a... 97 00:05:55,128 --> 00:05:57,488 -That's a bumhole, there's a vagina. -You won't be laughing 98 00:05:57,568 --> 00:06:00,208 when you throw yourself off a motorway bridge at the age of 35 99 00:06:00,288 --> 00:06:02,368 because of the failure you have become! 100 00:06:06,328 --> 00:06:09,008 I have spoken to the dean at Mountview Military this morning. 101 00:06:10,408 --> 00:06:12,568 -Dad, I-- -Your name is on the waiting list. 102 00:06:12,648 --> 00:06:15,928 You have until the end of term to get these grades up and change my mind. 103 00:06:35,408 --> 00:06:37,328 Sorry I'm late. I had a, uh-- 104 00:06:37,408 --> 00:06:38,288 Had a thing. 105 00:06:39,128 --> 00:06:40,968 Get it together, we've got clients. 106 00:06:41,048 --> 00:06:43,808 Roger. Affirmative. Good to go. 107 00:06:47,208 --> 00:06:49,568 It’s like the more we try, the worse it gets. 108 00:06:49,688 --> 00:06:51,728 Like we can't get in sync or find a rhythm. 109 00:06:52,368 --> 00:06:55,048 When we're having sex, I feel like I've never seen a vagina before. 110 00:06:55,128 --> 00:06:57,128 But I have, I've got one and I've looked at it a lot. 111 00:06:57,488 --> 00:06:59,888 It's got to the point where when I think about touching Ruthie, 112 00:06:59,968 --> 00:07:02,448 I get really panicked, because I know it's gonna be really bad. 113 00:07:02,528 --> 00:07:04,408 Like when you put together a bookshelf from IKEA 114 00:07:04,488 --> 00:07:06,328 and you realize you don’t have the right screw 115 00:07:06,408 --> 00:07:07,928 and the whole thing was a waste of time 116 00:07:08,008 --> 00:07:09,808 and then you just hate everything about Sweden. 117 00:07:10,368 --> 00:07:13,248 -Ruthie, tell him how bad it is. -Look, I don't know why we're doing this. 118 00:07:13,648 --> 00:07:16,288 It's not like some advice from a 16-year-old straight dude 119 00:07:16,368 --> 00:07:17,688 is gonna magically fix us. 120 00:07:18,208 --> 00:07:19,208 It’s stupid. 121 00:07:19,528 --> 00:07:21,768 Yeah, well, I mean, you're right, Ruthie. 122 00:07:21,848 --> 00:07:23,528 I'm not particularly well-versed 123 00:07:23,608 --> 00:07:25,928 in the intricacies of lesbian sexual relations, 124 00:07:26,208 --> 00:07:27,088 but I think, 125 00:07:27,688 --> 00:07:30,888 if I can learn a bit more about your emotional relationship to one another, 126 00:07:30,968 --> 00:07:33,328 I might be able to get closer to the root of the problem. 127 00:07:33,408 --> 00:07:35,608 We don’t have a problem with our relationship. 128 00:07:36,528 --> 00:07:38,088 We're in love and it's great. 129 00:07:38,728 --> 00:07:39,648 We're just... 130 00:07:40,248 --> 00:07:41,088 inexperienced. 131 00:07:41,408 --> 00:07:43,448 This is my first lesbian relationship. 132 00:07:43,848 --> 00:07:44,928 Me too. 133 00:07:45,008 --> 00:07:47,568 First, I mean, lesbian sex therapy session. 134 00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:49,408 So have you got any ideas, Kinsey? 135 00:07:49,888 --> 00:07:51,928 I'd like to have an orgasm sometime this century. 136 00:07:52,568 --> 00:07:53,928 Yeah, leave it with me. 137 00:07:54,088 --> 00:07:56,288 I’ll do some research and see what I can come up with. 138 00:07:56,368 --> 00:07:57,328 Yeah, brilliant. 139 00:07:58,088 --> 00:07:59,488 Thanks, thank you. 140 00:08:03,168 --> 00:08:04,048 How'd it go? 141 00:08:05,368 --> 00:08:06,608 Might be a tricky one. 142 00:08:12,448 --> 00:08:13,568 Ah... 143 00:08:17,008 --> 00:08:18,328 I'm so sorry. 144 00:08:18,888 --> 00:08:21,968 I'm sorry, I'm coming down with something. Nothing serious, though. 145 00:08:22,208 --> 00:08:23,968 Do you want to come in and we can get started? 146 00:08:24,048 --> 00:08:25,568 -I'm just gonna grab my-- -Follow me. 147 00:08:40,008 --> 00:08:41,248 Have a seat. 148 00:08:42,168 --> 00:08:43,208 I won't bite. 149 00:08:48,848 --> 00:08:49,728 So... 150 00:08:50,288 --> 00:08:51,688 scrotal anxiety. 151 00:08:52,608 --> 00:08:55,328 Your email implies you've been struggling with this for a while. 152 00:08:56,488 --> 00:09:00,768 Why don't you start by telling me your earliest memory of your scrotum? 153 00:09:02,768 --> 00:09:04,208 Oh, goodness. 154 00:09:04,288 --> 00:09:05,928 I'm sorry, I completely forgot. 155 00:09:06,008 --> 00:09:07,168 I, uh... 156 00:09:07,328 --> 00:09:10,288 -I'm having my bathroom redone. -Yeah, I know. 157 00:09:10,688 --> 00:09:12,088 I have my tools outside. 158 00:09:13,648 --> 00:09:15,888 So I'd better go and get them, right? 159 00:09:22,168 --> 00:09:23,368 Earliest memory, 160 00:09:24,008 --> 00:09:25,568 I'd just turned five. 161 00:09:26,768 --> 00:09:28,128 And I was looking down, 162 00:09:28,768 --> 00:09:29,808 and thought, 163 00:09:30,728 --> 00:09:33,248 "Oh, there are my balls." 164 00:09:38,968 --> 00:09:41,888 The topic for this year's sixth form essay competition is 165 00:09:41,968 --> 00:09:44,688 "Every great dream begins with a dreamer." 166 00:09:44,768 --> 00:09:45,968 Entry is compulsory. 167 00:09:46,048 --> 00:09:49,048 This is a fantastic opportunity that could look very good 168 00:09:49,128 --> 00:09:51,128 on your university applications next year. 169 00:09:51,568 --> 00:09:54,848 Are any of you even listening? No, I didn't think so. Anyway... 170 00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:57,368 Here's some more information. Take it or leave it. 171 00:09:57,488 --> 00:10:00,608 I'll be interested to see  your take on this, Maeve. Genuinely. 172 00:10:10,768 --> 00:10:12,848 -I'm giving the money back. -No, hold up. 173 00:10:12,928 --> 00:10:16,168 You have a rare opportunity here to use your power for self-interest. 174 00:10:16,248 --> 00:10:17,128 What do you mean? 175 00:10:17,208 --> 00:10:20,088 You keep the money. Give Jackson the wrong advice. Make trouble. 176 00:10:20,168 --> 00:10:21,608 Okay, that is unethical 177 00:10:21,688 --> 00:10:23,128 -on so many levels. -Oh! 178 00:10:23,208 --> 00:10:24,648 Yeah, unethical or... 179 00:10:25,968 --> 00:10:27,128 badass? 180 00:10:27,208 --> 00:10:28,248 -Completely unethical. -Ugh! 181 00:10:28,328 --> 00:10:29,928 Eric, I'm giving the money back. 182 00:10:30,408 --> 00:10:31,888 Okay? End of story. 183 00:10:31,968 --> 00:10:34,448 Well, after you then, Captain Morality. 184 00:10:36,688 --> 00:10:37,928 Otis! 185 00:10:38,048 --> 00:10:39,288 You tracked me down. 186 00:10:39,728 --> 00:10:41,968 Listen, I... I need to give this back to you. 187 00:10:42,448 --> 00:10:45,008 I feel uncomfortable talking behind Maeve’s back. It’s wrong. 188 00:10:45,088 --> 00:10:47,208 It's unethical and it's just wrong. 189 00:10:47,528 --> 00:10:48,888 -I get it. -All right, cool. 190 00:10:48,968 --> 00:10:50,608 Yeah. No problem. You're an honorable guy. 191 00:10:50,968 --> 00:10:54,208 -Great. Here's the money. -Maeve is such a head-fuck, man. 192 00:10:54,288 --> 00:10:57,328 Like a Rubik's Cube. She says one thing and then does something else. 193 00:10:57,408 --> 00:10:58,248 And I can't keep up. 194 00:10:58,568 --> 00:11:00,568 -Know what I mean? -Not really. But here you go. 195 00:11:00,648 --> 00:11:02,088 We’ll have crazy amazing sex, yeah? 196 00:11:02,168 --> 00:11:04,448 I'm talking, like, transcendental-level shagging. 197 00:11:04,528 --> 00:11:05,448 -Okay, stop! -Aaah! 198 00:11:05,528 --> 00:11:07,448 And then she ignores me for days. 199 00:11:07,528 --> 00:11:11,448 But then, she wants to do it again and round and round we go. 200 00:11:11,528 --> 00:11:14,448 She's like some sexy merry-go-round, and I can't get off. 201 00:11:14,528 --> 00:11:15,648 She's not an object! 202 00:11:15,728 --> 00:11:17,568 Ohh... What? 203 00:11:17,648 --> 00:11:19,768 Uh... I said she's not an object. 204 00:11:19,848 --> 00:11:22,928 You keep describing her as inanimate objects, but she is a person. 205 00:11:23,648 --> 00:11:25,648 Have you even thought about asking her what she wants 206 00:11:25,728 --> 00:11:26,848 or what she likes? 207 00:11:27,248 --> 00:11:29,088 -Well, what does she like? -Lots of things. 208 00:11:29,208 --> 00:11:31,688 Um... Female writers, for a start. 209 00:11:31,888 --> 00:11:32,968 Oh, like The Hunger Games? 210 00:11:33,208 --> 00:11:36,688 More like, uh, Virginia Woolf or Roxane Gay or Sylvia Plath. 211 00:11:36,768 --> 00:11:40,688 She also has a great taste in music. Joy Division, Nirvana, Bikini Kill... 212 00:11:40,768 --> 00:11:42,808 But she's not a snob. I mean, she'll listen to pop. 213 00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:45,928 -And she has a really dark sense of humor. -I didn't know that. 214 00:11:46,048 --> 00:11:47,648 What are you-- What are you doing? 215 00:11:47,728 --> 00:11:49,808 I'm taking notes. This is super helpful. 216 00:11:49,888 --> 00:11:51,608 No! No! I'm not helping. 217 00:11:51,688 --> 00:11:53,368 -This is not helping. -Yeah, it is. 218 00:11:53,448 --> 00:11:56,168 Stop pulling your pricks and get out here! 40 lengths! 219 00:11:56,248 --> 00:11:57,488 Get a move on, Jackson. 220 00:11:57,928 --> 00:12:00,048 Thank you so much. You're a lifesaver. 221 00:12:00,128 --> 00:12:02,048 -Take care. -Yeah. 222 00:12:02,128 --> 00:12:03,048 Bye, Jackson. 223 00:12:05,608 --> 00:12:06,448 Oh, no. 224 00:12:09,168 --> 00:12:10,128 Good job. 225 00:12:10,208 --> 00:12:11,208 Good job. 226 00:12:23,648 --> 00:12:24,928 Ugh. 227 00:12:25,008 --> 00:12:26,448 Go get herpes somewhere else, guys. 228 00:12:33,408 --> 00:12:34,488 Oh, hey, Maeve. 229 00:12:35,528 --> 00:12:37,168 You’re not actually reading Virginia Woolf. 230 00:12:37,248 --> 00:12:39,008 Why wouldn't I be? She's a brilliant mind. 231 00:12:40,728 --> 00:12:42,048 Who’s the big-nosed chick? 232 00:12:42,488 --> 00:12:46,008 A fierce, feminist voice of 20th-century Britain, obviously. 233 00:12:46,208 --> 00:12:48,488 I've never seen you read before. Is this some kind of joke? 234 00:12:48,568 --> 00:12:50,688 No! I read all the time. 235 00:12:54,888 --> 00:12:55,768 Hey. 236 00:12:57,688 --> 00:12:59,968 Do you know you are the only person 237 00:13:00,048 --> 00:13:03,568 to take this book out of the library since 1972? 238 00:13:04,208 --> 00:13:05,288 Not anymore, apparently. 239 00:13:11,568 --> 00:13:12,928 So now he's a feminist! 240 00:13:13,008 --> 00:13:15,048 You've made the hottest guy in school even hotter. 241 00:13:15,168 --> 00:13:17,288 He's basically Ryan Gosling. Well done. 242 00:13:17,368 --> 00:13:19,528 You don't understand. He's like a Jedi. 243 00:13:19,688 --> 00:13:23,328 Okay? He just talked, and no matter what I did, he got what he wanted. 244 00:13:23,408 --> 00:13:26,488 The one thing you had going for you was that you're all woke and shit. 245 00:13:26,688 --> 00:13:29,328 Kind of counters the whole lame virgin thing. 246 00:13:29,408 --> 00:13:31,608 Now he's checking his privilege. It's game over. 247 00:13:32,008 --> 00:13:33,488 -It's not a game. -It is a game. 248 00:13:33,568 --> 00:13:35,848 -Because Maeve and I are just friends. -Hm. 249 00:13:36,368 --> 00:13:38,648 Anyway, she's not gonna fall for this whole performance. 250 00:13:39,128 --> 00:13:41,328 Oh, my God, I love Virginia Woolf. 251 00:13:42,288 --> 00:13:43,888 Nice guys finish last. 252 00:13:43,968 --> 00:13:46,608 Especially when there's a nicer guy with rock-hard abs. 253 00:13:55,888 --> 00:13:57,888 Ruby thinks Kyle should change the way he dresses, 254 00:13:57,968 --> 00:13:59,448 but I think he looks nice. 255 00:13:59,528 --> 00:14:01,648 He has been wearing a lot of trackie bottoms recently, 256 00:14:01,728 --> 00:14:03,648 but that's only 'cause he set his jeans on fire. 257 00:14:04,288 --> 00:14:05,488 What? 258 00:14:05,568 --> 00:14:07,248 He’s got second-degree burns on his thighs, 259 00:14:07,328 --> 00:14:09,568 but he was blazed when it happened, so it only hurt a bit. 260 00:14:10,288 --> 00:14:11,288 Hey, Maeve. 261 00:14:11,368 --> 00:14:13,048 What do you think Woolf meant by, 262 00:14:13,128 --> 00:14:15,808 "The history of men's opposition to women's emancipation 263 00:14:15,888 --> 00:14:18,968 is more interesting, perhaps, than the story of that emancipation itself"? 264 00:14:20,328 --> 00:14:23,008 That men are dicks, and selective castration is our only hope. 265 00:14:24,328 --> 00:14:25,768 You know, you are so dark. 266 00:14:26,808 --> 00:14:29,448 -What? -Your humor, it's dark. I like dark humor. 267 00:14:31,088 --> 00:14:32,008 -Okay, bye. -Bye. 268 00:14:35,368 --> 00:14:37,048 He's being so weird. 269 00:14:37,648 --> 00:14:39,168 I think he’s peacocking. 270 00:14:39,768 --> 00:14:40,848 But with words. 271 00:14:42,328 --> 00:14:44,328 Girls, less chatting, more running! 272 00:14:46,568 --> 00:14:48,048 -Look! Look, look, look! -I know! Okay! 273 00:14:56,768 --> 00:14:58,248 Are you listening to Sløtface? 274 00:14:59,808 --> 00:15:03,008 Oh, what Yeah, their new album is incredible. 275 00:15:03,248 --> 00:15:04,488 Since when do you like punk? 276 00:15:04,568 --> 00:15:05,648 Oh, wait, do you like punk? 277 00:15:06,208 --> 00:15:08,008 -Among other things. -Ah! 278 00:15:08,488 --> 00:15:10,968 Well, I've actually got a spare ticket for this local band night. 279 00:15:11,048 --> 00:15:12,408 Pussyfest. Do you wanna come? 280 00:15:14,248 --> 00:15:15,768 -Maybe. -All right, it's a date. 281 00:15:16,608 --> 00:15:19,488 Actually, I can't. I've got an essay to write. 282 00:15:19,568 --> 00:15:21,088 -Huh? -Have fun, though. 283 00:15:27,208 --> 00:15:28,368 She's not gonna text you. 284 00:15:29,328 --> 00:15:30,608 She's texting Jackson now. 285 00:15:31,248 --> 00:15:33,008 Who needs a friend when you have a boyfriend? 286 00:15:33,088 --> 00:15:34,848 Uh, he's not her boyfriend. Okay? 287 00:15:34,928 --> 00:15:37,288 I mean, I wouldn't care if he was, but he's not. 288 00:15:37,368 --> 00:15:38,488 He's literally not. 289 00:15:39,968 --> 00:15:41,928 Well, well. Appears you were wrong. 290 00:15:43,528 --> 00:15:44,448 I've gotta go. 291 00:15:44,528 --> 00:15:46,688 See, Maeve and I still run a sex clinic together. 292 00:15:46,768 --> 00:15:48,128 And that's still weird. 293 00:15:50,648 --> 00:15:52,688 That's really, really weird. 294 00:16:02,168 --> 00:16:05,808 What? 295 00:16:06,968 --> 00:16:08,968 -Is the music too loud? 296 00:16:09,048 --> 00:16:10,008 N-- No, it's fine. 297 00:16:10,088 --> 00:16:14,048 Okay. 298 00:16:14,488 --> 00:16:16,608 How's it going? 299 00:16:16,688 --> 00:16:19,768 Quite a bit of mold, but, uh, it's fixable. 300 00:16:20,408 --> 00:16:21,408 Great. 301 00:16:21,488 --> 00:16:24,168 -I mean, that's fine. -Yeah. 302 00:16:26,288 --> 00:16:27,768 Are you writing another book? 303 00:16:28,248 --> 00:16:29,088 Uh... 304 00:16:29,168 --> 00:16:32,568 I mean, I saw that you've-- you've written books, 305 00:16:32,928 --> 00:16:34,488 this morning, in your office. 306 00:16:34,848 --> 00:16:37,768 Yes, I did. A very long time ago. 307 00:16:38,608 --> 00:16:41,288 But, um... I don't really write anymore. 308 00:16:42,568 --> 00:16:43,448 Why? 309 00:16:45,808 --> 00:16:47,488 Well, um... 310 00:16:48,608 --> 00:16:51,088 I wrote that last book with my... 311 00:16:51,448 --> 00:16:52,408 ex-husband. 312 00:16:52,888 --> 00:16:56,088 And we split just after the publication. 313 00:16:56,408 --> 00:17:01,008 And I tried, but, to be honest, um... 314 00:17:01,768 --> 00:17:04,088 the fear creeps in a bit as you get older. 315 00:17:05,088 --> 00:17:06,848 I don't know why I'm telling you that. 316 00:17:08,208 --> 00:17:09,208 Fuck fear. 317 00:17:10,248 --> 00:17:11,168 I'm sorry? 318 00:17:11,688 --> 00:17:12,808 Fuck the fear. 319 00:17:13,048 --> 00:17:15,968 Tomorrow, you could be driving along in your car, happily, 320 00:17:16,328 --> 00:17:21,128 and then, uh, smash you, uh, head to head with an 18-wheeler truck 321 00:17:21,208 --> 00:17:24,128 and you're squished to the road, and you're dead. 322 00:17:25,088 --> 00:17:26,168 Just a waste of time. 323 00:17:27,288 --> 00:17:28,248 So fuck fear. 324 00:17:31,248 --> 00:17:32,128 Hello, darling. 325 00:17:33,448 --> 00:17:34,728 -Hi. -Hi. 326 00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:37,448 -Are you all right? -Yeah. Yeah. 327 00:17:37,608 --> 00:17:39,608 -Homework stuff. -Well... 328 00:17:39,728 --> 00:17:42,848 I should leave you to it. 329 00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:15,808 Sorry. 330 00:18:16,248 --> 00:18:17,288 It's okay. 331 00:18:17,568 --> 00:18:18,648 Hello! 332 00:18:18,928 --> 00:18:20,488 Are you a friend of Otis'? 333 00:18:20,568 --> 00:18:22,808 No, I'm here to pick up my father. 334 00:18:23,968 --> 00:18:26,928 You know, intense European dude. Thinks he’s a comedian. 335 00:18:27,008 --> 00:18:29,968 Piercing blue eyes. He's got "fuck" written across his hand... 336 00:18:33,088 --> 00:18:36,008 Don't be a man-child, get a move on. I'm late for work! 337 00:18:44,048 --> 00:18:46,128 I am ignoring you. Hurry up. 338 00:18:48,048 --> 00:18:50,008 Please can I use your bathroom? 339 00:18:50,248 --> 00:18:52,008 Yes. It's upstairs. 340 00:18:52,328 --> 00:18:53,288 Thanks. 341 00:19:03,728 --> 00:19:04,688 Mum! 342 00:19:05,088 --> 00:19:07,088 You're not my mum. 343 00:19:07,168 --> 00:19:09,088 I just-- I'm not-- 344 00:19:09,168 --> 00:19:10,288 This is research! 345 00:19:10,368 --> 00:19:12,048 Uh... 346 00:19:16,928 --> 00:19:19,528 You should probably think about gettin' a lock on this door. 347 00:19:20,448 --> 00:19:21,648 Where's the bathroom? 348 00:19:22,128 --> 00:19:24,208 -Uh, on your left. -Thanks. 349 00:19:32,488 --> 00:19:34,248 Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! 350 00:19:34,328 --> 00:19:35,968 Calm down. Calm down. Calm down. 351 00:19:36,728 --> 00:19:38,648 Oh, don't annoy me. 352 00:19:38,728 --> 00:19:40,008 How have you pooped? 353 00:19:40,088 --> 00:19:40,928 Oh, yuck. 354 00:19:41,528 --> 00:19:43,848 Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck. 355 00:19:43,928 --> 00:19:46,008 -Okay, stay. 356 00:19:46,448 --> 00:19:48,288 Yeah, you should feel bad. 357 00:19:49,888 --> 00:19:51,528 Ugh. 358 00:19:53,048 --> 00:19:57,128 Uh... Francis, Bacon, get back here! 359 00:19:57,208 --> 00:19:58,848 -Oh! Come on! Come on! 360 00:19:58,928 --> 00:20:00,128 What the hell? 361 00:20:00,848 --> 00:20:02,448 Uh, Francis! 362 00:20:03,128 --> 00:20:04,288 Bacon! 363 00:20:07,008 --> 00:20:08,128 Shit. 364 00:20:09,488 --> 00:20:11,888 Oh, okay. Come on, guys, come on. 365 00:20:12,448 --> 00:20:13,688 Oh. Come on. 366 00:20:14,128 --> 00:20:15,688 Hey. 367 00:20:17,328 --> 00:20:20,048 Sorry, new job. Dog walker. 368 00:20:20,768 --> 00:20:21,608 Gay. 369 00:20:25,128 --> 00:20:26,208 Quiet, Madam. 370 00:20:27,088 --> 00:20:28,768 Be quiet, Madam. 371 00:20:29,448 --> 00:20:30,368 Um... 372 00:20:33,048 --> 00:20:34,488 She's not my dog. She's my mum's. 373 00:20:34,568 --> 00:20:37,048 Yeah, she's cute. - 374 00:20:37,128 --> 00:20:39,368 She's a champ. Okay? 375 00:20:40,528 --> 00:20:42,488 She’s like the Kim Kardashian of tiny dogs. 376 00:20:43,088 --> 00:20:43,928 Oh. 377 00:20:46,608 --> 00:20:47,928 Up, Madam. - 378 00:20:48,008 --> 00:20:49,288 Up! Show me tits. 379 00:20:49,368 --> 00:20:52,568 -Good girl. Oh! Good girl. -Hey! 380 00:20:53,328 --> 00:20:54,368 That is wicked. 381 00:20:54,728 --> 00:20:57,208 Hey, Madam sounds a bit like Adam. 382 00:20:58,848 --> 00:21:00,728 -What are you trying to say? 383 00:21:00,808 --> 00:21:03,568 Nothing. Nothing. Okay, bye. Bye, um... 384 00:21:10,568 --> 00:21:12,128 -Madam! Madam! -Um... 385 00:21:12,208 --> 00:21:13,328 I'm so sorry. 386 00:21:13,408 --> 00:21:15,728 Uh, I've gotta drop these off, but I can come back-- 387 00:21:15,808 --> 00:21:18,808 Don't bother, okay? You shouldn’t be walkin' dogs if you can’t control them. 388 00:21:19,648 --> 00:21:20,888 Just fuck off. 389 00:21:22,728 --> 00:21:24,888 -Madam! Madam! 390 00:22:25,048 --> 00:22:26,608 You can't even walk a dog! 391 00:22:26,688 --> 00:22:29,728 The mind boggles! 392 00:22:29,808 --> 00:22:31,768 Think about poor Madam! 393 00:22:31,848 --> 00:22:35,528 Out there alone. Won't last five minutes! 394 00:22:35,608 --> 00:22:38,448 Are you happy? 395 00:22:38,528 --> 00:22:41,328 You broke her heart. Your own mother. 396 00:22:41,408 --> 00:22:44,528 -It wasn't me. I swear it wasn't my fault. 397 00:22:44,608 --> 00:22:47,768 -Excuses, excuses. Go on, go! 398 00:22:54,128 --> 00:22:56,208 Fuck! 399 00:23:26,408 --> 00:23:27,288 Hello. 400 00:23:28,408 --> 00:23:29,248 Hi. 401 00:23:32,768 --> 00:23:33,768 Okay, then. 402 00:23:34,168 --> 00:23:35,128 I heard a thing. 403 00:23:38,568 --> 00:23:42,248 -Okay. -This thing concerns your virginal status. 404 00:23:43,208 --> 00:23:45,248 Excuse me? 405 00:23:45,648 --> 00:23:48,408 I heard on the grapevine that your cherry remains unpopped. 406 00:23:48,488 --> 00:23:51,248 -That's none of your business. -Yeah, let’s skip the faux modesty. 407 00:23:51,328 --> 00:23:53,448 -I'm down if you are. -Down? 408 00:23:54,408 --> 00:23:55,768 Deflowering the maiden. 409 00:23:56,808 --> 00:23:59,288 Breaking the lawn chair, skinning the fish. 410 00:24:00,128 --> 00:24:03,208 -Your dick in my vagina. What do you say? -Yeah, um... 411 00:24:04,968 --> 00:24:06,008 Wait, sorry, who are you? 412 00:24:06,648 --> 00:24:08,048 Whoever you want me to be. 413 00:24:10,528 --> 00:24:11,488 Also, I'm Lily. 414 00:24:12,488 --> 00:24:15,808 Well, thanks, Lily, but, um... 415 00:24:16,288 --> 00:24:18,048 I'm gonna have to politely decline. 416 00:24:18,368 --> 00:24:19,208 Okay. 417 00:24:19,808 --> 00:24:21,608 Well, if you change your mind, 418 00:24:21,768 --> 00:24:23,968 you can usually find me in music room B. 419 00:24:24,768 --> 00:24:25,768 Or algebra club. 420 00:24:27,128 --> 00:24:28,008 Bye, then. 421 00:24:28,648 --> 00:24:29,528 Bye. 422 00:24:33,128 --> 00:24:34,808 Woof-woof-woof! O-Dawg! 423 00:24:34,888 --> 00:24:36,928 -Uh... J... Dude. 424 00:24:37,008 --> 00:24:38,808 Just wanna say thanks for the help, man. 425 00:24:38,888 --> 00:24:40,488 Me and Maeve have been texting all night. 426 00:24:40,568 --> 00:24:42,248 -She's, like, mad brainy. -Yeah. I know. 427 00:24:42,328 --> 00:24:44,328 I'm actually into some of this stuff too, you know. 428 00:24:44,408 --> 00:24:47,048 -It is good to look outside your bubble. -Yeah, I guess it is. 429 00:24:47,128 --> 00:24:49,168 -It's all thanks to you, man. -You know what, Jackson? 430 00:24:49,248 --> 00:24:50,168 -I-- -Ah, that's her! 431 00:24:50,248 --> 00:24:51,528 -I didn't-- -Gotta go. Thank you. 432 00:24:51,608 --> 00:24:52,448 -Wait. -Yeah? 433 00:24:52,528 --> 00:24:54,088 -Okay. 434 00:24:54,528 --> 00:24:56,528 -Yo! 435 00:25:08,888 --> 00:25:09,808 It's for you. 436 00:25:10,888 --> 00:25:12,848 It's soup, for a sick person. 437 00:25:12,928 --> 00:25:15,048 Oh, no! Oh, you shouldn't have done that. 438 00:25:15,128 --> 00:25:18,288 I'm feeling so much better today. Just a scratchy throat. 439 00:25:18,368 --> 00:25:21,048 Still, uh... eat the soup. It's good for you. 440 00:25:22,168 --> 00:25:24,088 No one's ever made me soup before. 441 00:25:24,168 --> 00:25:25,208 It's just soup. 442 00:25:27,728 --> 00:25:29,248 Okay, back to work, then. 443 00:25:30,008 --> 00:25:30,968 Excuse me. 444 00:25:32,568 --> 00:25:33,608 Excuse me. 445 00:25:54,568 --> 00:25:55,648 Mm! 446 00:26:35,928 --> 00:26:37,448 Why don't you just go out with him? 447 00:26:38,488 --> 00:26:40,128 Let's do a mind map. 448 00:26:40,488 --> 00:26:42,408 -What's that? -Oh, it's just writing stuff down. 449 00:26:42,488 --> 00:26:45,208 But in a fun way that engages all sides of your brain. 450 00:26:45,568 --> 00:26:46,768 You mean both sides. 451 00:26:47,008 --> 00:26:47,928 Yeah, all of them. 452 00:26:48,008 --> 00:26:49,488 It's really good for hard decisions 453 00:26:49,568 --> 00:26:50,768 like, should I get a fringe, 454 00:26:50,848 --> 00:26:53,248 even though Mum says it'll make my face look chubby? 455 00:26:53,328 --> 00:26:56,288 Or should I tell Mum I hate her and run away from home? 456 00:26:56,408 --> 00:26:57,368 Hm? 457 00:26:58,008 --> 00:27:00,688 So, let's start with Jackson's nice bits. 458 00:27:01,248 --> 00:27:02,728 Okay. Um... 459 00:27:03,168 --> 00:27:04,528 He's good at sex. 460 00:27:05,088 --> 00:27:07,448 Like, properly good. 461 00:27:07,768 --> 00:27:08,848 Mm! 462 00:27:09,288 --> 00:27:11,968 -Uh, he's attractive. -And he's popular. 463 00:27:12,288 --> 00:27:14,368 Mm-hm. And he's going places. 464 00:27:14,808 --> 00:27:16,408 Like, he's not a slacker. 465 00:27:16,648 --> 00:27:18,568 No, he's probably gonna be president or something. 466 00:27:18,648 --> 00:27:21,248 We don't have presidents in this country, Aimee. 467 00:27:24,088 --> 00:27:25,008 Okay, what else? 468 00:27:27,528 --> 00:27:29,128 Do you have things in common? 469 00:27:29,368 --> 00:27:30,488 Yeah, we do. 470 00:27:30,888 --> 00:27:32,008 -Weirdly. -So... 471 00:27:32,848 --> 00:27:33,928 Cons? 472 00:27:35,008 --> 00:27:36,888 -I don't want a boyfriend. -I don't get it. 473 00:27:37,848 --> 00:27:39,728 Having a boyfriend is the best thing. 474 00:27:39,968 --> 00:27:41,208 What’s so good about it? 475 00:27:44,368 --> 00:27:46,168 You always have someone to hang out with. 476 00:27:46,248 --> 00:27:49,888 And, like, last week, I got chased by a fox, and Kyle threw a shoe at it. 477 00:27:51,208 --> 00:27:52,728 It was so romantic. 478 00:28:04,648 --> 00:28:07,648 This is good. It's really helpful, being in the water, isn't it? 479 00:28:07,728 --> 00:28:11,608 It's freeing us up. We're really figuring out how our bodies can intertwine. 480 00:28:11,688 --> 00:28:14,248 It’s working well for me. Is it working for you? 481 00:28:15,008 --> 00:28:15,968 No. 482 00:28:21,448 --> 00:28:22,288 How's it going, guys? 483 00:28:23,408 --> 00:28:24,528 What are you doing? 484 00:28:24,608 --> 00:28:26,608 I don't want you to think I engineered this situation 485 00:28:26,688 --> 00:28:27,928 for my own sexual gratification. 486 00:28:28,008 --> 00:28:29,368 That would be super creepy. 487 00:28:29,968 --> 00:28:31,128 Hence the backwards stance. 488 00:28:31,648 --> 00:28:34,088 This is even creepier. Just turn around. Stop being creepy. 489 00:28:36,288 --> 00:28:40,688 Well, like I said before, I am a sex and relationship therapist. 490 00:28:40,768 --> 00:28:43,288 You are a teenager with an inflated sense of self-importance. 491 00:28:43,368 --> 00:28:44,688 Right. Well, I have a hunch 492 00:28:44,768 --> 00:28:48,208 that this is more to do with your relationship than your physical intimacy. 493 00:28:48,648 --> 00:28:50,568 -How's your communication? -We've known each other 494 00:28:50,648 --> 00:28:53,008 since primary school, and we talk for hours. 495 00:28:53,488 --> 00:28:55,488 -It might help. -Interesting. 496 00:28:55,848 --> 00:28:57,408 How long have you guys been together? 497 00:28:57,488 --> 00:28:58,488 About four months. 498 00:28:58,568 --> 00:29:01,648 We both came out around the same time and it just happened. 499 00:29:01,728 --> 00:29:02,568 Interesting. 500 00:29:02,648 --> 00:29:04,408 I'm sure you find lots of things interesting, 501 00:29:04,488 --> 00:29:06,688 but our problem is with the sex, not the relationship. 502 00:29:06,768 --> 00:29:08,688 So we're just gonna figure this out on our own. 503 00:29:09,608 --> 00:29:11,008 Uh... 504 00:29:11,088 --> 00:29:14,128 Well, come back when you're ready to talk about your relationship. 505 00:29:15,248 --> 00:29:17,008 Good session, team. Great progress. 506 00:29:32,168 --> 00:29:33,528 How's it going with Jackson? 507 00:29:34,968 --> 00:29:36,368 -What do you mean? -I mean... 508 00:29:37,168 --> 00:29:39,168 You guys seem to be spending a lot of time together. 509 00:29:39,848 --> 00:29:41,008 What do you care? 510 00:29:41,688 --> 00:29:43,328 I was just asking. Sorry. 511 00:29:44,768 --> 00:29:47,488 He does seem keen for us to hang out more, but... 512 00:29:48,968 --> 00:29:50,168 I don't really get it. 513 00:29:50,848 --> 00:29:52,208 Like, we have loads of sex. 514 00:29:52,928 --> 00:29:54,688 So why'd he wanna complicate things? 515 00:29:55,048 --> 00:29:58,248 It's stupid. Anyway, I don't do boyfriends. 516 00:30:00,728 --> 00:30:01,608 Why not? 517 00:30:03,168 --> 00:30:06,968 You know in rom-coms, when the guy finally realizes he’s in love with the girl, 518 00:30:07,048 --> 00:30:09,288 and he turns up with a boom box outside her house, 519 00:30:09,368 --> 00:30:12,368 blasting her favorite song, and everyone in the audience swoons? 520 00:30:13,128 --> 00:30:14,688 -Yeah, that makes me sick. 521 00:30:17,088 --> 00:30:18,408 Okay, but seriously, 522 00:30:19,008 --> 00:30:20,368 what's wrong with boyfriends? 523 00:30:22,048 --> 00:30:23,968 It’s just someone else to let you down, isn't it? 524 00:30:29,168 --> 00:30:30,368 You really think so? 525 00:30:36,808 --> 00:30:37,688 What the hell? 526 00:30:38,688 --> 00:30:39,768 What? 527 00:30:41,168 --> 00:30:42,088 -Ah! 528 00:30:45,288 --> 00:30:46,568 Like that, do you? 529 00:30:47,968 --> 00:30:48,928 Don't fucking... 530 00:30:56,968 --> 00:30:59,568 So... why don't you wanna go out with Jackson? 531 00:30:59,648 --> 00:31:01,448 -I mean, really. -No. 532 00:31:01,528 --> 00:31:03,088 We don't do that therapy thing. 533 00:31:03,488 --> 00:31:05,008 Save that for the clientele. 534 00:31:08,688 --> 00:31:09,648 Fine. 535 00:31:10,408 --> 00:31:11,808 I'm me and he's him. 536 00:31:12,368 --> 00:31:13,368 Meaning? 537 00:31:13,448 --> 00:31:17,128 Come on, Otis, he's Jackson and I'm... You know. 538 00:31:17,208 --> 00:31:18,288 -Maeve. 539 00:31:18,368 --> 00:31:21,528 No, I'm a grotty, stinky cock-biter who lives in a caravan. 540 00:31:21,608 --> 00:31:23,488 Come on! You're not. Look... 541 00:31:23,608 --> 00:31:24,848 You're not that stinky. 542 00:31:25,688 --> 00:31:27,728 Plus, I thought it was a scrote you bit? 543 00:31:28,128 --> 00:31:29,168 Dickhead! 544 00:31:29,248 --> 00:31:30,208 Oh! 545 00:31:36,968 --> 00:31:39,768 You look like the Cookie Monster. 546 00:31:40,968 --> 00:31:42,048 Wait... 547 00:31:43,728 --> 00:31:45,408 -Ooh! Okay. 548 00:31:45,488 --> 00:31:47,688 Ow! Yeah, let's go. 549 00:31:48,408 --> 00:31:49,248 -Okay. -Yeah. 550 00:31:51,128 --> 00:31:52,128 You coming? 551 00:31:52,648 --> 00:31:53,568 No. 552 00:31:53,888 --> 00:31:56,168 -What? You just said we better go. -I'm staying here. 553 00:31:56,608 --> 00:31:57,488 Why? 554 00:31:58,168 --> 00:31:59,008 Um... 555 00:31:59,648 --> 00:32:00,848 Exercise. 556 00:32:01,408 --> 00:32:02,848 Yeah, but school is closing. 557 00:32:03,608 --> 00:32:04,608 Yeah, but... 558 00:32:05,808 --> 00:32:06,928 exercise. 559 00:32:07,848 --> 00:32:08,688 Okay. 560 00:32:16,408 --> 00:32:18,248 You're compellingly odd, Milburn. 561 00:32:23,488 --> 00:32:24,968 Fucking go away. 562 00:32:26,968 --> 00:32:29,848 Must have been one hell of a blow job, Wiley. 563 00:32:37,128 --> 00:32:38,048 Otis. 564 00:32:38,608 --> 00:32:39,568 Uh... 565 00:32:43,488 --> 00:32:44,328 Promise not to laugh. 566 00:32:45,688 --> 00:32:48,608 I might have a mild to moderate crush on Maeve. 567 00:32:48,688 --> 00:32:50,768 Yeah, no shit. What gave it away? 568 00:32:52,168 --> 00:32:53,008 She, uh... 569 00:32:53,848 --> 00:32:55,888 She touched my eyebrows and now I have an erection. 570 00:33:01,768 --> 00:33:03,408 You said you wouldn't laugh. 571 00:33:03,488 --> 00:33:05,248 Ugh. It won't go away. 572 00:33:05,328 --> 00:33:06,288 It's been half an hour, 573 00:33:06,368 --> 00:33:07,888 -and it's really cold. 574 00:33:08,528 --> 00:33:10,128 There's only one solution. 575 00:33:14,408 --> 00:33:15,608 Okay. 576 00:33:16,528 --> 00:33:17,768 It's just wanking. 577 00:33:21,808 --> 00:33:22,648 Oh, God. 578 00:33:49,168 --> 00:33:51,888 Ah, stop! Ah! No! 579 00:33:52,488 --> 00:33:56,008 AC/DC! AC/DC! Okay. 580 00:33:56,088 --> 00:33:58,488 Adam and the Ants, Aerosmith, Alice in Chains. 581 00:33:58,768 --> 00:34:00,768 The Blues Brothers. Bowie, David. 582 00:34:00,848 --> 00:34:02,968 The Byrds. Okay. 583 00:34:04,848 --> 00:34:06,208 -Did you do it? -No. 584 00:34:06,288 --> 00:34:08,608 I alphabetized my music collection and it went away. 585 00:34:08,688 --> 00:34:09,928 It's okay, man. 586 00:34:10,008 --> 00:34:12,768 -Next time. -We won't speak of this ever again, okay? 587 00:34:14,608 --> 00:34:15,448 Otis! 588 00:34:17,568 --> 00:34:18,448 You got a minute? 589 00:34:19,768 --> 00:34:20,608 Yeah. 590 00:34:23,928 --> 00:34:25,528 I know the drill. 591 00:34:26,128 --> 00:34:27,008 Bye, Jackson. 592 00:34:29,568 --> 00:34:32,248 So I'm gonna ask Maeve out, properly this time. 593 00:34:33,288 --> 00:34:35,248 -How do you think I should do it? -Jackson... 594 00:34:35,728 --> 00:34:37,888 you're a smart guy. I'm sure you can figure it out. 595 00:34:37,968 --> 00:34:39,928 But I need your help. Everything you said worked. 596 00:34:40,008 --> 00:34:42,768 -I don't want to screw this up. -I'm all out of advice, sorry. 597 00:34:42,848 --> 00:34:46,008 Come on, man. Look, we talk, we laugh. We have crazy good sex. 598 00:34:46,448 --> 00:34:47,848 Now I just wanna seal the deal. 599 00:34:49,768 --> 00:34:50,608 Well... 600 00:34:51,528 --> 00:34:52,928 what do you usually do? 601 00:34:54,008 --> 00:34:57,728 Well, usually I say, "Do you wanna go out?" And then they say yes. 602 00:34:58,528 --> 00:34:59,368 It's that easy? 603 00:35:00,168 --> 00:35:02,008 Well, it's just not usually this hard. 604 00:35:02,088 --> 00:35:03,288 Okay, do you even like Maeve? 605 00:35:03,368 --> 00:35:05,248 Or have you just never not got your way before? 606 00:35:05,328 --> 00:35:06,168 No, I like her. 607 00:35:06,848 --> 00:35:08,928 I wake up and I'm thinkin' about her. 608 00:35:09,008 --> 00:35:10,608 I go to sleep and I'm thinkin' about her. 609 00:35:10,688 --> 00:35:11,848 It's driving me insane. 610 00:35:12,968 --> 00:35:14,528 I think she could be the... 611 00:35:15,448 --> 00:35:16,448 the one. 612 00:35:17,648 --> 00:35:19,248 Wait, sorry. 613 00:35:19,328 --> 00:35:21,328 Sorry. You're right. I'll figure this out on my own. 614 00:35:21,408 --> 00:35:23,408 -You've helped out enough. -Yeah. 615 00:35:24,488 --> 00:35:27,808 You know, it's weird. You're my age, but wise. 616 00:35:28,768 --> 00:35:29,648 You're like my mum... 617 00:35:30,208 --> 00:35:31,408 in a little man’s body. 618 00:35:32,288 --> 00:35:33,688 Like a little mum man. 619 00:35:33,768 --> 00:35:34,728 No offense. 620 00:35:39,888 --> 00:35:41,168 Make a grand gesture. 621 00:35:42,888 --> 00:35:44,288 What, like flowers? 622 00:35:44,928 --> 00:35:45,768 Grander. 623 00:35:46,568 --> 00:35:47,848 Like a giant teddy bear? 624 00:35:48,048 --> 00:35:49,008 Much grander. 625 00:35:49,088 --> 00:35:51,528 Think, like... like rom-com grand, you know? 626 00:35:51,608 --> 00:35:53,208 Public, passionate. 627 00:35:53,728 --> 00:35:55,608 Heart on your sleeve, running through the rain... 628 00:35:56,128 --> 00:35:57,848 If it seems too much, go bigger. 629 00:35:58,368 --> 00:35:59,648 -If you want her... -Yeah. 630 00:36:00,008 --> 00:36:01,008 ...show her how much. 631 00:36:01,728 --> 00:36:02,568 Trust me. 632 00:36:03,488 --> 00:36:04,648 All right. Thanks, man. 633 00:36:06,008 --> 00:36:07,488 You really are a good guy. 634 00:36:15,328 --> 00:36:18,208 You are stone cold evil. 635 00:36:18,288 --> 00:36:20,248 Look, you told me to screw over Jackson. 636 00:36:20,328 --> 00:36:21,688 All right? This was your idea. 637 00:36:21,768 --> 00:36:24,008 I say lots of stuff. You're not supposed to listen to me. 638 00:36:24,688 --> 00:36:27,208 -This is bad. You're a bad person. -Stop saying that. 639 00:36:27,288 --> 00:36:28,648 Why are you now suddenly bad? 640 00:36:28,728 --> 00:36:31,728 Because I'm in love with Maeve, all right 641 00:36:31,808 --> 00:36:34,488 Well, not really. I think I prefer Cupcake Otis. 642 00:36:34,608 --> 00:36:35,768 I need to stop Jackson. 643 00:36:35,848 --> 00:36:37,928 Uh, then he'll know that you're in love with Maeve. 644 00:36:38,008 --> 00:36:40,008 Then I need to warn Maeve about what he's gonna do. 645 00:36:40,088 --> 00:36:43,088 Then she'll know that you took money from Jackson and gave him bad advice 646 00:36:43,168 --> 00:36:46,088 -because you're in love with her. -All my options are dog shit. 647 00:36:46,528 --> 00:36:47,368 Yep. 648 00:36:48,208 --> 00:36:49,088 I'm going home. 649 00:36:51,168 --> 00:36:52,008 Okay. 650 00:36:52,688 --> 00:36:54,968 Well, have a nice night, bad man. 651 00:36:57,648 --> 00:36:59,248 Thank you for all your work. 652 00:36:59,928 --> 00:37:01,568 And for the soup. 653 00:37:01,688 --> 00:37:03,248 It was very good. 654 00:37:03,688 --> 00:37:05,608 I, uh... washed it. 655 00:37:06,088 --> 00:37:08,048 I told you, it's the best soup. 656 00:37:12,768 --> 00:37:15,328 -Oh. It's okay. -Clumsy man. 657 00:37:15,648 --> 00:37:16,488 I... 658 00:37:19,288 --> 00:37:20,248 Thank you. 659 00:37:27,088 --> 00:37:28,528 You are a strange woman. 660 00:37:34,808 --> 00:37:35,768 Goodbye, then. 661 00:37:36,208 --> 00:37:38,208 Just put those in there. 662 00:37:39,328 --> 00:37:41,208 Thank you. Goodbye, Jean. 663 00:37:43,128 --> 00:37:44,448 Bye, Mr. Builder. 664 00:37:56,208 --> 00:37:58,088 -Hello. -Uh... 665 00:37:58,848 --> 00:38:00,008 Finish your research? 666 00:38:00,968 --> 00:38:03,128 My... Yes. 667 00:38:03,208 --> 00:38:04,688 Oh, my God. Yes, I did. 668 00:38:04,768 --> 00:38:07,328 It was actual research, by the way. 669 00:38:07,408 --> 00:38:08,928 It's-- It's hard to explain. 670 00:38:09,008 --> 00:38:11,088 But, um, I needed to know about scissoring. 671 00:38:12,088 --> 00:38:14,208 Okay. I'm Ola. 672 00:38:15,128 --> 00:38:16,208 I'm Otis. 673 00:38:16,288 --> 00:38:18,488 I got something for you. To help with your research. 674 00:38:18,568 --> 00:38:19,688 My dad installed it. 675 00:38:23,248 --> 00:38:25,128 You know we’re already recording it. 676 00:38:25,208 --> 00:38:27,088 Come on, let's get the fuck out of here. 677 00:38:27,528 --> 00:38:28,928 -Hey. -See ya. 678 00:38:29,408 --> 00:38:30,448 See ya. 679 00:39:23,688 --> 00:39:24,888 Eric! 680 00:39:28,528 --> 00:39:31,888 Eric! 681 00:39:41,648 --> 00:39:43,248 Dad, I think I know who-- 682 00:39:43,328 --> 00:39:46,768 Go get hot water and bleach. I don't want your mother seeing this. 683 00:40:04,928 --> 00:40:06,728 -Who are you pervin' on? -Aah! 684 00:40:07,688 --> 00:40:09,328 No one. 685 00:40:09,888 --> 00:40:11,368 Well, um... 686 00:40:11,848 --> 00:40:14,168 Ruthie, but I'm not perving, I'm just watching. 687 00:40:15,048 --> 00:40:16,048 Never mind. 688 00:40:16,848 --> 00:40:18,368 Shame the scissoring thing didn't work. 689 00:40:19,168 --> 00:40:20,688 I'm so skint right now. 690 00:40:24,808 --> 00:40:25,648 Uh... 691 00:40:27,768 --> 00:40:30,488 -What's that? -It's your cut. I treated someone. 692 00:40:33,288 --> 00:40:34,608 You're a fucking gem, Otis. 693 00:40:44,848 --> 00:40:45,928 Tromboner. 694 00:40:47,048 --> 00:40:48,088 Hey, Adam. 695 00:40:48,808 --> 00:40:49,928 Did you find Madam? 696 00:40:51,968 --> 00:40:53,088 Can you smell... 697 00:40:54,488 --> 00:40:55,328 dog shit? 698 00:40:58,248 --> 00:41:00,008 Wiley, can I speak to you for a second? 699 00:41:01,448 --> 00:41:03,328 No chemically induced hard-on today? 700 00:41:03,448 --> 00:41:05,888 You're so funny, you make my dick hurt. Listen... 701 00:41:05,968 --> 00:41:08,648 Uh, that essay thing Sands was banging on about. Write it for me. 702 00:41:08,728 --> 00:41:11,208 -I can pay. -The hand-in's tomorrow. Sorry. 703 00:41:11,288 --> 00:41:12,728 Shit, I really need this. 704 00:41:14,168 --> 00:41:15,168 Come on, I can pay double. 705 00:41:18,168 --> 00:41:19,128 Triple. 706 00:41:21,168 --> 00:41:22,048 Okay. 707 00:41:22,768 --> 00:41:23,608 Great. 708 00:41:26,768 --> 00:41:30,768 What did you buy from the supermarket today? 709 00:41:31,848 --> 00:41:33,968 Only you could make French unsexy. 710 00:41:36,768 --> 00:41:39,888 You do not want to kiss your girlfriend anymore. 711 00:41:40,768 --> 00:41:41,808 Hm? 712 00:41:42,448 --> 00:41:45,928 You like someone else. 713 00:41:48,688 --> 00:41:50,328 Look, Tanya is my best friend. 714 00:41:51,568 --> 00:41:54,448 She was really supportive of me when I came out and everything. 715 00:41:56,168 --> 00:42:00,048 -So when she came out too, I thought... -You might as well be in a relationship. 716 00:42:00,128 --> 00:42:03,208 We're so close, I thought it would be the perfect relationship, 717 00:42:03,648 --> 00:42:05,728 but when we have sex... 718 00:42:06,568 --> 00:42:08,008 it just feels wrong. 719 00:42:08,648 --> 00:42:10,208 And when I'm doing it with Jessa... 720 00:42:12,248 --> 00:42:13,488 everything just works. 721 00:42:17,048 --> 00:42:18,128 I don't know what to do. 722 00:42:20,728 --> 00:42:22,608 You have to tell Tanya the truth. 723 00:42:23,648 --> 00:42:24,848 It would kill her. 724 00:42:27,808 --> 00:42:30,088 You can't choose who you're attracted to. 725 00:42:31,848 --> 00:42:32,728 You can't... 726 00:42:33,168 --> 00:42:34,968 You can't engineer a relationship. 727 00:42:38,408 --> 00:42:39,848 You have to do what's right. 728 00:42:41,768 --> 00:42:44,528 I still think it’s weird a teenage boy is a sex therapist. 729 00:42:44,848 --> 00:42:46,288 C'est la vie. 730 00:42:47,288 --> 00:42:49,848 This is an urgent announcement from your Head Boy. 731 00:42:50,368 --> 00:42:54,048 Will all sixth formers please head to the canteen now? 732 00:43:07,808 --> 00:43:09,968 Has anyone seen Jackson? 733 00:43:10,048 --> 00:43:11,808 Uh... Maybe it’s a fire drill? 734 00:43:14,368 --> 00:43:16,528 Come on, come on, come on, come on. 735 00:43:16,608 --> 00:43:18,248 -Maeve! -Look. He's gonna make a speech. 736 00:43:18,328 --> 00:43:20,408 Yes, Moordale! Sorry for the interruption, 737 00:43:20,488 --> 00:43:22,368 but, hey, it's just your education, right? 738 00:43:24,088 --> 00:43:26,248 There's somebody in this crowd who is very special to me. 739 00:43:26,328 --> 00:43:28,008 And no, it's not you, Mr. Groff. 740 00:43:30,488 --> 00:43:32,008 This person is pretty damn incredible. 741 00:43:33,248 --> 00:43:34,488 She's one of a kind. 742 00:43:35,248 --> 00:43:37,408 But I was an idiot because I wanted to hide how I felt. 743 00:43:38,328 --> 00:43:41,008 Well, I'm not gonna keep it secret anymore. 744 00:43:41,528 --> 00:43:42,568 Maeve Wiley... 745 00:43:44,048 --> 00:43:46,528 this is for you. 746 00:43:48,768 --> 00:43:49,808 I think he's gonna... 747 00:43:49,888 --> 00:43:52,448 ...sing. 748 00:43:52,528 --> 00:43:54,648 No. No! No, no, no, no, no! 749 00:44:28,848 --> 00:44:31,728 I'm in Swing Band. Why didn't they ask me to play? 750 00:44:57,088 --> 00:44:59,528 Will you please be my girlfriend? 751 00:45:01,128 --> 00:45:02,088 You dickhead. 752 00:45:20,768 --> 00:45:22,288 Well, that was unexpected.