1 00:00:12,088 --> 00:00:15,328 -Ooh. A woman, right? Huh! 2 00:00:15,408 --> 00:00:17,848 Fallen in love with somebody who's got the vote this time. 3 00:00:17,928 --> 00:00:19,728 How old is she 4 00:00:20,848 --> 00:00:23,088 -No, she's about 30. 5 00:00:37,568 --> 00:00:38,648 Do you like my tits? 6 00:00:41,088 --> 00:00:42,808 Hello? Tits! 7 00:00:43,488 --> 00:00:45,048 Yeah. I love your tits. 8 00:00:47,128 --> 00:00:48,168 Do you wanna come on them? 9 00:00:49,008 --> 00:00:51,168 Sure. Let me just get this off. 10 00:00:52,808 --> 00:00:55,928 Actually, don't. I got a rash last time. Let's do it from behind. 11 00:00:56,408 --> 00:00:57,328 Okay. 12 00:01:03,448 --> 00:01:04,448 Mm! 13 00:01:09,888 --> 00:01:12,128 I'm gonna come. Are you gonna come? 14 00:01:18,808 --> 00:01:19,888 Mm! 15 00:01:33,008 --> 00:01:34,928 Did you just fake it? 16 00:01:35,328 --> 00:01:36,408 Don't be stupid. 17 00:01:40,688 --> 00:01:42,248 -Why are you staring? -Show me the condom. 18 00:01:42,328 --> 00:01:43,248 No way. 19 00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:49,088 Where's the spunk, Adam? 20 00:02:48,488 --> 00:02:50,688 Whoa, there. 21 00:02:50,848 --> 00:02:52,488 This is not the bathroom. 22 00:02:53,608 --> 00:02:55,408 Sorry, man. I'm very sorry. I'm, uh-- 23 00:02:55,488 --> 00:02:56,768 -Uh-- -Sleeping with my mother? 24 00:02:58,248 --> 00:02:59,688 Correct. 25 00:03:00,568 --> 00:03:01,808 Awkward. I'm Dan. 26 00:03:01,888 --> 00:03:03,648 -And you are... -Otis. 27 00:03:03,848 --> 00:03:04,768 Ah... 28 00:03:05,768 --> 00:03:07,288 Don't worry. Left-handed. 29 00:03:11,488 --> 00:03:13,728 -First door on your left. -Cheers, dude. 30 00:03:23,848 --> 00:03:25,688 -Morning, darling. -Morning. 31 00:03:26,808 --> 00:03:28,968 -Coffee? -I've got some. 32 00:03:29,288 --> 00:03:30,128 Toast? 33 00:03:30,608 --> 00:03:32,888 Um... Maybe... 34 00:03:32,968 --> 00:03:34,928 Uh, I've got clients in a few minutes. 35 00:03:36,608 --> 00:03:38,208 Oh, Otis, this is, um-- 36 00:03:38,528 --> 00:03:39,648 We've met. 37 00:03:41,968 --> 00:03:43,848 -Coffee? -Oh, yes, please. 38 00:03:49,568 --> 00:03:50,648 How old are you, Dan? 39 00:03:51,288 --> 00:03:52,848 How old am I-- Uh, I'm 32. 40 00:03:53,808 --> 00:03:56,368 You having some kind of preemptive midlife crisis? 41 00:03:56,728 --> 00:03:59,088 -Otis... -Mum, he rides a motorbike. 42 00:03:59,168 --> 00:04:00,928 I'll take you for a ride in it, if you like? 43 00:04:01,008 --> 00:04:03,088 No, thanks. 44 00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:04,928 Do you have an Oedipal complex? 45 00:04:05,008 --> 00:04:07,328 As in, you mean do I wanna have sex with my mum? 46 00:04:07,408 --> 00:04:09,128 -Mm. -Uh, not really. 47 00:04:09,208 --> 00:04:12,168 -It's not really my thing, that. -Just ignore him. He's teasing you. 48 00:04:12,248 --> 00:04:14,488 Otis, it's perfectly normal for a younger man 49 00:04:14,568 --> 00:04:17,168 to be sexually attracted to a mature woman. 50 00:04:17,248 --> 00:04:19,928 In fact, when you stigmatize his choice, 51 00:04:20,008 --> 00:04:21,888 then you feed into an unhealthy narrative 52 00:04:21,968 --> 00:04:23,528 on masculinity in middle age. 53 00:04:23,968 --> 00:04:27,008 That's why I say you should never date a shrink, huh? 54 00:04:27,088 --> 00:04:29,928 Sex and relationship therapist, thank you very much. 55 00:04:31,888 --> 00:04:32,728 That's me. 56 00:04:33,248 --> 00:04:35,848 Yeah, I should probably, uh, shoot off as well. 57 00:04:39,088 --> 00:04:39,928 -Thanks. -Okay. 58 00:04:40,168 --> 00:04:41,608 -Mm-hm. -Um... 59 00:04:41,688 --> 00:04:44,688 Thanks for everything, Mum. Uh, Jean. Jean. Definitely Jean. 60 00:04:46,008 --> 00:04:46,888 Okay. 61 00:04:50,048 --> 00:04:52,248 -Hopefully see you again, then, dude. -Yeah. 62 00:04:52,888 --> 00:04:53,928 Unlikely. 63 00:04:54,648 --> 00:04:58,848 Your mum's new boyfriend is a big hot sticky wet dream. 64 00:04:59,248 --> 00:05:00,088 Yeah. 65 00:05:00,768 --> 00:05:01,928 Mum doesn't do boyfriends. 66 00:05:02,048 --> 00:05:04,568 Ah-ah! Are those the ones that like to do it in animal costumes? 67 00:05:04,648 --> 00:05:07,648 No, he wants her to wear a strap-on. She's not really into it. 68 00:05:08,008 --> 00:05:09,808 It's a classic power dynamic issue. 69 00:05:09,888 --> 00:05:12,088 Aww! I wish my mum was a sex guru. 70 00:05:12,168 --> 00:05:14,288 Trust me, you don't. 71 00:05:18,248 --> 00:05:19,088 Marjorie... 72 00:05:20,008 --> 00:05:22,128 how are you getting on with your penis? 73 00:05:23,848 --> 00:05:26,368 -I'm not hating it. -Fantastic. 74 00:05:26,448 --> 00:05:27,808 Okay, let's proceed. 75 00:05:34,488 --> 00:05:36,168 So, did you do it? 76 00:05:37,488 --> 00:05:39,728 Don't tell me you choked again. 77 00:05:40,208 --> 00:05:41,168 Ha-ha! 78 00:05:41,328 --> 00:05:43,088 -You didn't even try. -I've given up. 79 00:05:43,168 --> 00:05:46,128 It's too much. I don't... I don't wanna talk about it. 80 00:05:46,208 --> 00:05:50,368 I mean, what exactly is the problem here 81 00:05:50,448 --> 00:05:53,288 Of course I can. I'm not a fucking eunuch, all right? 82 00:05:53,368 --> 00:05:55,128 I just-- I wait for them to go away. 83 00:05:55,208 --> 00:05:58,528 I don't like how it feels. Can we drop it now, please? 84 00:05:58,608 --> 00:06:00,448 No offense, but that is super weird. 85 00:06:01,168 --> 00:06:02,168 Super weird. 86 00:06:31,328 --> 00:06:34,488 Oh, my God, the Untouchables have a car. 87 00:06:34,568 --> 00:06:37,608 Just when you thought they couldn't get any more elusive, now they have wheels! 88 00:06:37,928 --> 00:06:40,288 You reckon Anwar's been workin' out? He's lookin' extra tight. 89 00:06:40,368 --> 00:06:42,368 Just because he's the only other gay in our year, 90 00:06:42,448 --> 00:06:44,648 -it doesn't mean you have to fancy him. -Yeah, correction. 91 00:06:45,008 --> 00:06:46,288 Only other gay we know of. 92 00:06:46,528 --> 00:06:47,768 Could be anywhere. 93 00:06:48,448 --> 00:06:50,208 What are you lookin' at, El Pervo? 94 00:06:50,568 --> 00:06:51,488 Did you hear that? 95 00:06:51,968 --> 00:06:54,688 He spoke to me! With actual words! 96 00:06:54,768 --> 00:06:57,968 -He called you a Spanish pervert. -Oh, this is gonna be such a good year! 97 00:06:58,048 --> 00:06:59,048 I can feel it! 98 00:07:08,208 --> 00:07:09,768 -Is that Tom Baker? -Yup. 99 00:07:10,208 --> 00:07:13,208 Captain of the Warhammer Society. His balls finally dropped. 100 00:07:13,568 --> 00:07:16,928 Yeah, I keep telling you, man, everyone has had sex over the summer. 101 00:07:17,008 --> 00:07:19,368 -Everyone except you. -And you. 102 00:07:19,448 --> 00:07:23,368 Excuse me, I gave two and a half hand jobs to that guy I met in Butlin's. 103 00:07:23,448 --> 00:07:25,768 -Why the half? -We got interrupted. 104 00:07:26,568 --> 00:07:28,208 Stupid surprise karaoke. 105 00:07:28,608 --> 00:07:30,608 Still, not exactly a player. 106 00:07:30,688 --> 00:07:32,848 Yeah, at least I can touch my own penis. 107 00:07:36,928 --> 00:07:38,368 I'm worried about you, man. 108 00:07:38,768 --> 00:07:39,808 Like, look around. 109 00:07:39,888 --> 00:07:42,048 Everybody's either thinking about shagging, 110 00:07:42,528 --> 00:07:43,568 about to shag, 111 00:07:45,488 --> 00:07:46,688 or actually shagging, 112 00:07:47,168 --> 00:07:49,048 and you can't even jack your beanstalk. 113 00:07:49,128 --> 00:07:51,048 -I've got plenty of time. -Mm, I don't know, man. 114 00:07:51,288 --> 00:07:53,968 Everything's changing round here, and it's changing fast. 115 00:07:54,088 --> 00:07:56,568 Case in point, even Maeve Wiley's boobs have gotten bigger, 116 00:07:56,648 --> 00:07:58,288 which I thought was technically impossible. 117 00:07:58,368 --> 00:07:59,728 They look the same to me. 118 00:08:00,208 --> 00:08:02,168 I heard she bit Simon Furthassle on the scrote, 119 00:08:02,688 --> 00:08:03,928 and now, it's all wonky. 120 00:08:04,008 --> 00:08:06,208 -Like a discount avocado. -I don't think that's true. 121 00:08:06,288 --> 00:08:08,408 I heard she sucked off 12 guys in ten minutes for a dare. 122 00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:10,528 -That's definitely not true. -What a slag. 123 00:08:10,608 --> 00:08:12,768 Look at that greasy hair. Maybe she can't afford shampoo. 124 00:08:12,848 --> 00:08:15,248 -Or deodorant. -Told you. 125 00:08:15,568 --> 00:08:17,208 She's basically a nympho. 126 00:08:22,688 --> 00:08:25,408 This is a new frontier, my sexually repressed friend. 127 00:08:25,808 --> 00:08:28,688 Our chance to finally move up the social food chain. 128 00:08:28,768 --> 00:08:30,168 We shall transform 129 00:08:31,008 --> 00:08:34,808 from lowly caterpillars into... awesome killer whales. 130 00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:36,848 Do we have to? 131 00:08:37,128 --> 00:08:39,528 Prepare for the best two years of our lives. 132 00:09:09,208 --> 00:09:10,048 I'm sorry. 133 00:09:10,928 --> 00:09:13,848 Thank you, Eric, for that rendition of the school anthem. 134 00:09:14,328 --> 00:09:15,168 It was... 135 00:09:15,848 --> 00:09:16,688 adequate. 136 00:09:21,488 --> 00:09:23,768 So, just a few things to get us started. 137 00:09:23,848 --> 00:09:30,728 The toilet block behind the gymnasium is full of asbestos, so, please, keep out. 138 00:09:30,888 --> 00:09:34,128 Running in the corridors is the scourge... 139 00:09:34,208 --> 00:09:36,488 -Told you not to do it. -I wanted to impress Swing Band. 140 00:09:36,568 --> 00:09:40,288 ...the story of James Cairney and the pencil. 141 00:09:40,368 --> 00:09:43,568 I have spoken to his mother. He, uh, has recovered. 142 00:09:43,648 --> 00:09:47,088 However, the mental scars still remain. 143 00:09:47,808 --> 00:09:49,448 A lesson for us all. 144 00:09:50,168 --> 00:09:51,208 Calmly moving on. 145 00:09:51,288 --> 00:09:53,888 It is my great pleasure to introduce to you 146 00:09:53,968 --> 00:09:56,288 our brand-new head boy... 147 00:09:57,528 --> 00:09:58,688 Jackson Marchetti. 148 00:10:13,568 --> 00:10:14,688 Whoo! 149 00:10:23,008 --> 00:10:24,088 We are taking over. 150 00:10:38,128 --> 00:10:39,528 Hi, Adam. 151 00:10:40,368 --> 00:10:42,768 -Good summer? -Shut the fuck up, Tromboner. 152 00:10:42,888 --> 00:10:43,928 Give me what you've got. 153 00:10:53,488 --> 00:10:55,568 -What's in the bag? -My lunch. 154 00:10:55,928 --> 00:10:58,008 You know that, because you always eat it. 155 00:11:07,168 --> 00:11:09,288 -I think you forgot something. -It's just a pencil case. 156 00:11:09,368 --> 00:11:11,528 Don't give a fuck about your pencil case. Curly Wurly. 157 00:11:11,608 --> 00:11:13,928 Come on, man. Not my Curly Wurly. 158 00:11:15,248 --> 00:11:16,728 Give me that Curly Wurly... 159 00:11:17,648 --> 00:11:19,088 or I will break your face. 160 00:11:21,408 --> 00:11:22,248 Okay. 161 00:11:41,288 --> 00:11:42,128 Aah! 162 00:11:43,528 --> 00:11:45,248 Yeah, see you tomorrow. 163 00:11:45,328 --> 00:11:46,328 Shit biscuit. 164 00:12:11,928 --> 00:12:14,128 -Are you a complete moron? -No, I'm not. 165 00:12:14,208 --> 00:12:15,488 That was a rhetorical question. 166 00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:16,608 -Here. -Don't touch my shit. 167 00:12:16,688 --> 00:12:17,888 -Just trying to help. -Don't. 168 00:12:18,008 --> 00:12:20,168 Guys! You're not supposed to run in the hallway. 169 00:12:20,248 --> 00:12:22,568 It was my fault. Fuck off, snowflake. 170 00:12:23,448 --> 00:12:25,088 Nice rack, Wiley. 171 00:12:27,688 --> 00:12:28,808 Are you going to write me up? 172 00:12:28,888 --> 00:12:30,728 I'll let you off. This time. 173 00:12:30,808 --> 00:12:32,768 I'm eternally grateful for your kindness. 174 00:12:32,848 --> 00:12:35,648 Actually, on second thought... 175 00:12:38,288 --> 00:12:40,888 Head Boys notoriously peak too early. I'd watch out, if I were you. 176 00:12:41,248 --> 00:12:42,208 Oh, yeah? 177 00:12:42,528 --> 00:12:44,888 I said, nice rack, Wiley. 178 00:12:47,568 --> 00:12:49,608 -Say that again. -Nice... ra-- 179 00:12:53,528 --> 00:12:55,208 You did kind of deserve that, man. 180 00:13:09,408 --> 00:13:10,968 Settle down, class. 181 00:13:11,488 --> 00:13:13,928 Settle down. Thank you. 182 00:13:14,008 --> 00:13:15,248 Ahh! 183 00:13:15,328 --> 00:13:19,528 We're jumping straight in to the romantic world of the immortal Bard. 184 00:13:19,608 --> 00:13:21,288 Shakespeare, obviously. 185 00:13:21,368 --> 00:13:24,288 This year's first assignment will be on As You Like It. 186 00:13:24,368 --> 00:13:27,288 Set in the fictional forest of Arden. 187 00:13:27,368 --> 00:13:30,168 Uh, nice of you to join us, Adam. 188 00:13:30,568 --> 00:13:32,248 Uh, you'll be doing presentations 189 00:13:32,328 --> 00:13:35,408 on Shakespeare's relationship with love and disguise. 190 00:13:35,488 --> 00:13:39,448 The person you are sat next to now will be your partner for the project. 191 00:13:39,528 --> 00:13:41,408 So if you just look at your sheets, 192 00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:43,328 you're gonna go through all the five points. 193 00:13:43,408 --> 00:13:45,088 I want you to talk in pairs. 194 00:13:45,168 --> 00:13:48,568 Please listen, right? Listening is key. 195 00:13:48,648 --> 00:13:50,888 So, um, the assignment brief, um... 196 00:13:50,968 --> 00:13:55,248 Examine the ways that Rosalind, uh, tests Orlando's love for her 197 00:13:55,328 --> 00:13:57,128 -in act four... -And who are you? 198 00:13:57,208 --> 00:14:01,368 -Um... I'm Otis. Yeah. -Act four, scene one. The impression... 199 00:14:01,448 --> 00:14:04,048 -I guess we're partners for the project. -Are you new? 200 00:14:04,128 --> 00:14:06,568 No. No, no, no. I've been here since first year. 201 00:14:06,928 --> 00:14:08,728 -We had chemistry together... -Explore the ways 202 00:14:08,808 --> 00:14:10,888 -Shakespeare uses witty wordplay... -...last term. 203 00:14:10,968 --> 00:14:13,808 -You set my desk on fire. -...sport and wrestling analogies... 204 00:14:13,888 --> 00:14:15,848 -Anyway. -...to reveal his characters' views 205 00:14:15,928 --> 00:14:19,688 -on the subject of love. -Maybe later on we can get together. 206 00:14:19,768 --> 00:14:21,768 -I know the library's open... 207 00:14:22,448 --> 00:14:24,088 I don't do after hours, new kid. 208 00:14:24,168 --> 00:14:26,408 -Uh, discuss the concepts of fortune... -Where do you live? 209 00:14:26,488 --> 00:14:30,208 ...and nature as they apply to Orlando and, um, and Oliver. 210 00:14:30,288 --> 00:14:32,768 -43 Ashford Street. -Compare and contrast the relationship... 211 00:14:32,848 --> 00:14:33,888 00. 212 00:14:33,968 --> 00:14:35,288 ...Orlando with Rosalind and Celia. 213 00:14:35,368 --> 00:14:39,128 Um... If you have any questions, please, uh, do ask. 214 00:14:39,208 --> 00:14:42,168 But what I'd like you to do is, really, first, just mind map. 215 00:14:42,248 --> 00:14:43,848 Mind map together... 216 00:14:44,408 --> 00:14:45,488 -Um-- -Boring. 217 00:14:45,568 --> 00:14:47,808 What 218 00:14:48,248 --> 00:14:49,528 -Okay, um... 219 00:14:57,128 --> 00:14:58,648 You told Adam where you live? 220 00:14:59,088 --> 00:15:00,128 -He asked me. 221 00:15:00,568 --> 00:15:03,568 Dude, your mum has a lot of weird sex shit in the house. 222 00:15:04,008 --> 00:15:05,328 I'm cool with it, obviously, 223 00:15:05,408 --> 00:15:10,088 but if that guy even sees a Kama Sutra, he will destroy your life. 224 00:15:10,168 --> 00:15:12,368 -She won't be home. -Oh. She better not be. 225 00:15:13,528 --> 00:15:16,088 He still calls me Tromboner. It's been four years. 226 00:15:16,368 --> 00:15:17,528 Four years. 227 00:15:17,928 --> 00:15:21,608 You did get an erection on the stage, in front of the entire school. 228 00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:23,048 It was a semi! 229 00:15:26,128 --> 00:15:28,008 The nickname doesn't even make sense. 230 00:15:28,688 --> 00:15:29,888 I play the French horn. 231 00:15:30,448 --> 00:15:31,808 Such a philistine. 232 00:15:31,888 --> 00:15:34,928 Look, he'll be in my house for an hour, tops. It will be fine. 233 00:15:36,008 --> 00:15:38,888 Do you reckon his brain is so small 'cause his dick is so big? 234 00:15:39,528 --> 00:15:41,248 -That's a myth. -Well, it's not. 235 00:15:41,568 --> 00:15:43,208 A friend of a friend saw it once. 236 00:15:43,288 --> 00:15:46,128 She said it was the size of two Coke cans. One on top of the other. 237 00:15:46,208 --> 00:15:47,768 Length and width. 238 00:15:48,128 --> 00:15:50,928 -You don't have any friends. Except me. -Not for long. 239 00:15:51,328 --> 00:15:54,048 Because Adam is going to kill you in your own home. 240 00:16:01,488 --> 00:16:04,408 Do you really think this place has asbestos in it? 241 00:16:04,568 --> 00:16:07,408 I don't know. There's worse ways to go, I suppose. 242 00:16:07,488 --> 00:16:10,968 God, yeah. My auntie got eaten by wasps. 243 00:16:11,248 --> 00:16:13,848 What 244 00:16:13,928 --> 00:16:14,808 No. 245 00:16:15,088 --> 00:16:16,208 She was eaten. 246 00:16:19,528 --> 00:16:21,968 Scabby Queen. I win! I win! 247 00:16:22,048 --> 00:16:24,448 No, you don't. You have to get rid of the queen. 248 00:16:25,048 --> 00:16:27,728 -You lost, sorry. -I still don't get this game. 249 00:16:27,808 --> 00:16:28,688 Hand them over. 250 00:16:30,368 --> 00:16:31,568 Thank you. 251 00:16:39,888 --> 00:16:42,888 -How’s it going with Knobzilla? -He can't come. 252 00:16:44,208 --> 00:16:47,128 So, the other night, we're, like, goin' and goin'. 253 00:16:47,208 --> 00:16:50,048 And I'm losin' my shit. And I, you know... 254 00:16:50,128 --> 00:16:51,968 -Reached the summit. -Yeah. 255 00:16:52,048 --> 00:16:54,168 But he, like... 256 00:16:54,248 --> 00:16:56,568 -Slipped and dropped the yogurt? -No, I wish. 257 00:16:56,968 --> 00:16:57,888 He faked it. 258 00:16:58,408 --> 00:16:59,248 You sure? 259 00:17:01,488 --> 00:17:03,128 I don't know what I'm doin' wrong. 260 00:17:04,008 --> 00:17:05,528 Maybe he was nervous or something. 261 00:17:05,608 --> 00:17:07,808 Ruby and Olivia think I should dump him. 262 00:17:07,888 --> 00:17:10,368 They say he's bringin' down my social status, but... 263 00:17:11,168 --> 00:17:14,208 The thing is, he can be really sweet when nobody's watchin'. 264 00:17:14,968 --> 00:17:16,848 Don't know why you listen to those dickheads. 265 00:17:17,208 --> 00:17:18,728 If you like him, do what you want. 266 00:17:19,808 --> 00:17:20,888 Tits. 267 00:17:21,168 --> 00:17:22,408 They're looking for me. 268 00:17:23,968 --> 00:17:25,648 -Thanks for the game. -No worries. 269 00:17:25,728 --> 00:17:26,768 And the chat. 270 00:17:29,328 --> 00:17:31,528 -Oh, and-- -Don't worry, you were never here. 271 00:17:32,088 --> 00:17:33,928 -Ta-ra, lad. -See you later, pet. 272 00:17:38,968 --> 00:17:39,928 Hiya! 273 00:17:41,208 --> 00:17:43,048 -Where have you been? -Nowhere. 274 00:17:43,528 --> 00:17:44,488 Biology went over. 275 00:17:44,568 --> 00:17:47,168 We thought you were doin' it with your whale dick boyfriend. 276 00:17:47,968 --> 00:17:49,688 You know he's a delinquent, right? 277 00:17:52,088 --> 00:17:54,968 Yuck. Is that ham 278 00:17:55,048 --> 00:17:56,448 -Oh, right, yeah, I forgot. 279 00:17:56,528 --> 00:17:57,728 Have you been smokin' again? 280 00:17:58,048 --> 00:17:59,448 -No, I haven't. -Good. 281 00:17:59,528 --> 00:18:01,488 Because smoking is definitely not vegan. 282 00:18:04,768 --> 00:18:05,888 My ham. 283 00:18:12,888 --> 00:18:13,808 Have you got the money? 284 00:18:15,008 --> 00:18:16,288 You taking the piss? 285 00:18:17,328 --> 00:18:18,488 Take it or leave it. 286 00:18:27,088 --> 00:18:29,728 -Tell anyone and I'll maim you. -This better be an A. 287 00:19:11,088 --> 00:19:13,648 -You're on time. -How long is this gonna take, new kid? 288 00:19:13,928 --> 00:19:15,048 Well, um-- 289 00:19:15,128 --> 00:19:16,288 I'm already bored. 290 00:19:19,728 --> 00:19:21,048 Have you got any Nesquik? 291 00:19:22,208 --> 00:19:23,888 On-- Only Mana. 292 00:19:34,248 --> 00:19:35,488 Do you wanna get monged? 293 00:19:35,888 --> 00:19:36,848 Um... 294 00:19:37,448 --> 00:19:38,888 No, thank you. 295 00:19:47,448 --> 00:19:50,528 Why is there a minge on your wall Where? That's... 296 00:19:50,608 --> 00:19:51,488 Uh... 297 00:19:51,568 --> 00:19:53,168 That's just an orchid. 298 00:19:53,248 --> 00:19:54,848 It's... My mum's super into... 299 00:19:55,168 --> 00:19:56,488 flora and fauna. 300 00:19:57,928 --> 00:19:59,128 Ooh, uh... 301 00:19:59,208 --> 00:20:00,768 Maybe not inside, sorry. 302 00:20:02,848 --> 00:20:05,848 I mean, Adam, we've only been working for half an hour, so... 303 00:20:05,928 --> 00:20:06,848 Yeah. 304 00:20:06,928 --> 00:20:08,408 You should keep goin'. 305 00:20:12,208 --> 00:20:14,128 That's it, just rolling the testicle... 306 00:20:14,208 --> 00:20:16,968 -There's a ball bag on the TV. -Good. 307 00:20:17,048 --> 00:20:18,928 Sorry. Sorry, I, uh... 308 00:20:19,168 --> 00:20:21,688 I forgot to take my... my DVD out. It's my... 309 00:20:22,288 --> 00:20:24,368 -It's my porn. -A bit old school. 310 00:20:25,928 --> 00:20:28,608 You should get on Pornhub. There's loads of stuff on there. 311 00:20:28,888 --> 00:20:31,048 You could watch a CGI demon fuck a horse. 312 00:20:32,448 --> 00:20:34,128 -Hm. -I need to piss. 313 00:20:35,248 --> 00:20:36,968 Upstairs, on your right. 314 00:22:05,368 --> 00:22:06,848 New kid! 315 00:22:09,368 --> 00:22:10,528 Adam? 316 00:22:11,648 --> 00:22:12,648 Get in here! 317 00:22:13,088 --> 00:22:13,968 Oh! 318 00:22:14,048 --> 00:22:14,968 Adam! 319 00:22:15,848 --> 00:22:17,048 Oh... 320 00:22:19,288 --> 00:22:20,728 -You've got a sex dungeon. -No. 321 00:22:20,808 --> 00:22:22,368 No, this is not. I... 322 00:22:22,808 --> 00:22:26,048 I can explain. This is my mum's office and she's a therapist. 323 00:22:26,128 --> 00:22:27,808 -Sex therapist. -I don't know what that is. 324 00:22:28,168 --> 00:22:30,328 She helps people with sex problems. 325 00:22:30,768 --> 00:22:32,168 -She's a prostitute. -No. 326 00:22:32,488 --> 00:22:35,368 -Like a pimp. -No, no, she's like a... a shrink. 327 00:22:35,648 --> 00:22:39,008 But instead of talking about mental health stuff, she talks about sex. 328 00:22:39,128 --> 00:22:40,088 People's sex lives. 329 00:22:40,968 --> 00:22:42,888 She-- She helps people bone better. 330 00:22:43,648 --> 00:22:45,048 Yes, in essence. 331 00:22:47,088 --> 00:22:48,328 Look, um... 332 00:22:50,208 --> 00:22:52,288 Could you not tell anyone about this, please? 333 00:22:52,368 --> 00:22:54,648 Otis, darling? 334 00:22:54,728 --> 00:22:56,128 -I'm home! 335 00:23:08,488 --> 00:23:10,168 Mm! Mmm... 336 00:23:14,568 --> 00:23:16,968 God, that's strong stuff. 337 00:23:18,168 --> 00:23:21,248 It is chronic shit. 338 00:23:21,768 --> 00:23:23,968 -I'm already hungry. 339 00:23:24,768 --> 00:23:27,488 It's snack time. 340 00:23:35,888 --> 00:23:36,848 Your mum's cool. 341 00:23:37,248 --> 00:23:38,328 Why aren't you cool? 342 00:23:39,728 --> 00:23:41,648 And she's hot. Why didn't you say she was hot? 343 00:23:42,208 --> 00:23:43,968 Because she's my mum. 344 00:23:44,048 --> 00:23:47,008 -I mean, seriously, are you adopted? -No. 345 00:23:47,088 --> 00:23:48,888 -Then why are you so shit? -Adam. 346 00:23:48,968 --> 00:23:49,848 Yeah? 347 00:23:51,248 --> 00:23:52,808 Do you smoke every day? 348 00:23:53,568 --> 00:23:56,328 Yeah. Yeah, most days, Mrs., um... 349 00:23:56,408 --> 00:23:57,728 Oh, just call me Jean. 350 00:23:58,368 --> 00:24:01,128 You know, they've been doing some interesting studies with cannabis. 351 00:24:01,528 --> 00:24:03,928 They're just starting to wake up to its health benefits. 352 00:24:04,008 --> 00:24:05,688 Yeah? Like, um... 353 00:24:06,568 --> 00:24:08,448 How it makes everything funny? 354 00:24:08,688 --> 00:24:10,728 -You know, like your face. -Hm? 355 00:24:10,808 --> 00:24:12,048 Ever so serious, 356 00:24:12,728 --> 00:24:14,168 like a... atlas. 357 00:24:21,888 --> 00:24:26,728 However, it has been linked to early onset impotence. 358 00:24:27,608 --> 00:24:29,048 Nothing conclusive yet. 359 00:24:30,328 --> 00:24:32,168 But be careful with how much you smoke. 360 00:24:32,248 --> 00:24:33,088 Mum... 361 00:24:33,648 --> 00:24:37,328 I only bring it up because I have a number of clients 362 00:24:37,408 --> 00:24:40,168 who were heavy drug users at your age, 363 00:24:40,688 --> 00:24:43,128 and now they have trouble with sexual performance. 364 00:24:43,808 --> 00:24:46,608 -Sexual performance? -They have trouble finishing. 365 00:24:49,008 --> 00:24:50,648 -Ejaculation. -Hm. 366 00:24:50,888 --> 00:24:52,408 Jizz, spunk. 367 00:24:53,288 --> 00:24:54,128 Man milk! 368 00:24:54,208 --> 00:24:56,408 -Mum, Jesus Christ! -Don't have a problem with that. 369 00:24:56,488 --> 00:24:59,088 What makes you think I've got a problem with that? 370 00:24:59,528 --> 00:25:01,608 I didn't say you had a problem with that. 371 00:25:04,008 --> 00:25:07,048 -But if you want to talk about it-- -I... Uh, okay, I'm gonna go. 372 00:25:07,128 --> 00:25:08,128 I'm gonna go. 373 00:25:09,848 --> 00:25:11,368 Okay, Adam! 374 00:25:12,128 --> 00:25:14,048 -Nice to meet you! -Mum! 375 00:25:14,768 --> 00:25:16,248 Come and hang out again. 376 00:25:17,008 --> 00:25:19,808 Adam! Adam, wait. Wait. 377 00:25:19,888 --> 00:25:22,608 You and your mum are freaks. 378 00:25:31,208 --> 00:25:33,208 I hope I didn't touch a nerve. 379 00:25:33,608 --> 00:25:36,008 Your friend is very sensitive. 380 00:25:36,248 --> 00:25:37,888 Ooh, my mouth is immensely dry. 381 00:25:37,968 --> 00:25:40,088 Mum, how many times have I said 382 00:25:40,168 --> 00:25:42,888 you can't go around therapizing people you don't know? 383 00:25:42,968 --> 00:25:45,448 Your generation is so touchy. 384 00:25:45,528 --> 00:25:48,528 -Information is empowering. -No, it's fucked up! 385 00:25:48,728 --> 00:25:51,608 Okay, calm down, take a breath. 386 00:25:51,688 --> 00:25:54,368 Let's... 387 00:25:54,448 --> 00:25:56,528 Let the negative energy dissipate. 388 00:25:59,848 --> 00:26:01,688 Okay. 389 00:26:05,088 --> 00:26:07,088 Two... 390 00:26:10,728 --> 00:26:11,848 Sorry I yelled. 391 00:26:12,528 --> 00:26:16,408 And I'm sorry... if I upset your friend. 392 00:26:20,488 --> 00:26:21,328 Come on. 393 00:26:30,648 --> 00:26:31,728 Sweetheart... 394 00:26:35,648 --> 00:26:38,168 I've noticed you're pretending to masturbate 395 00:26:38,248 --> 00:26:40,888 and I was wondering if you wanted to talk about it. 396 00:26:42,448 --> 00:26:44,288 It was the hand cream that gave it away. 397 00:26:44,368 --> 00:26:47,688 And, well, the magazine was a bit overkill. 398 00:26:48,328 --> 00:26:52,608 Anyway, I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything. 399 00:26:52,688 --> 00:26:53,888 No judgment. 400 00:26:54,248 --> 00:26:55,808 This is a safe place. 401 00:26:55,888 --> 00:26:57,448 This is not a safe place, Mum. 402 00:26:57,528 --> 00:27:00,848 You... need to stop analyzing everything I do. 403 00:27:02,208 --> 00:27:05,928 I will when you stop creating performative situations 404 00:27:06,008 --> 00:27:07,768 that you clearly want me to observe. 405 00:27:07,848 --> 00:27:09,808 Okay. 406 00:27:10,968 --> 00:27:15,128 I'm going to my room, because I'm angry and I need some space. 407 00:27:15,208 --> 00:27:17,128 -Okay. 408 00:27:17,208 --> 00:27:19,208 We'll talk about it when you're ready. 409 00:27:22,448 --> 00:27:26,168 Darling! It's too loud! 410 00:27:30,248 --> 00:27:31,208 Otis! 411 00:27:32,688 --> 00:27:34,168 Turn it down! 412 00:27:53,648 --> 00:27:56,008 -Eric, come help your mother. 413 00:27:56,088 --> 00:27:57,568 Down in a minute! 414 00:28:14,568 --> 00:28:16,968 Oh-ho-ho! 415 00:28:33,088 --> 00:28:34,408 Did you... you know? 416 00:28:35,128 --> 00:28:36,888 Yeah. I'd tell you if I didn't. 417 00:28:39,128 --> 00:28:41,248 -Do you want me to drive you home? -Nope. 418 00:28:41,328 --> 00:28:42,208 Where do you live? 419 00:28:42,288 --> 00:28:44,688 -Honestly, I'm fine. -Come on, let me drive you home. 420 00:28:44,768 --> 00:28:46,208 We're just fucking, Jackson. 421 00:28:46,328 --> 00:28:48,288 We don’t need to know each other's postcodes. 422 00:28:48,568 --> 00:28:49,648 See you at school. 423 00:29:07,568 --> 00:29:09,288 Shh! 424 00:29:10,728 --> 00:29:11,608 Adam? 425 00:29:20,808 --> 00:29:22,488 You're five minutes past curfew. 426 00:29:23,328 --> 00:29:24,488 Sorry, Dad. 427 00:29:25,368 --> 00:29:27,808 -Lost track of time. -Don't let it happen again. 428 00:29:29,488 --> 00:29:30,968 You know the rules. 429 00:29:39,688 --> 00:29:41,528 You can have it back in the morning. 430 00:29:50,208 --> 00:29:51,808 -Hello, lover. -Ooh! Fuck. 431 00:29:52,408 --> 00:29:54,488 How did you get in? You've gotta go. 432 00:29:58,648 --> 00:30:00,408 Your hand's a bit dry. 433 00:30:12,488 --> 00:30:14,328 Can you not even get hard now? 434 00:30:15,328 --> 00:30:16,768 -Am I that bad? -Yes. 435 00:30:16,848 --> 00:30:19,968 No! No, I meant no. I got confused. 436 00:30:20,608 --> 00:30:22,048 I don't know why I bother. 437 00:30:25,288 --> 00:30:26,768 Well-- Leave out the window. 438 00:30:30,568 --> 00:30:31,728 Good night, Mrs. Groff. 439 00:30:32,368 --> 00:30:33,848 Good night, Headmaster Groff. 440 00:30:34,288 --> 00:30:36,208 -What is wrong with you? 441 00:30:36,288 --> 00:30:37,968 Adam, get down here now! 442 00:30:46,768 --> 00:30:49,808 Your mum talked to Adam about ejaculation? 443 00:30:49,888 --> 00:30:51,808 -She used the words "man milk." -Oh, my-- 444 00:30:51,888 --> 00:30:54,128 -It's worse than I thought. 445 00:30:54,248 --> 00:30:56,568 No, I mean-- I mean... It's fine. 446 00:30:56,648 --> 00:30:58,768 He was baked, he's probably forgotten all about it. 447 00:30:59,168 --> 00:31:00,248 Shit. 448 00:31:00,328 --> 00:31:02,128 Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit... 449 00:31:02,648 --> 00:31:03,648 Don't look. 450 00:31:07,048 --> 00:31:08,528 Watch where you’re going, fag. 451 00:31:08,608 --> 00:31:11,328 Hey, Adam, you know homophobia is so 2008, right? 452 00:31:11,768 --> 00:31:12,848 Totes passé. 453 00:31:20,008 --> 00:31:20,848 Thanks, Anwar. 454 00:31:21,408 --> 00:31:22,648 -Not your friends. -Okay. 455 00:31:24,848 --> 00:31:27,048 See? I told you he'd forget. 456 00:31:27,488 --> 00:31:28,368 Yeah... 457 00:32:05,888 --> 00:32:07,288 -Yeah! 458 00:32:07,368 --> 00:32:08,328 I'm only saying. 459 00:32:29,968 --> 00:32:31,048 Great, it's you. 460 00:32:31,608 --> 00:32:33,648 I get it. You're mean. 461 00:32:34,688 --> 00:32:35,808 Okay, so... 462 00:32:36,528 --> 00:32:38,128 what was gonna be biology 463 00:32:38,208 --> 00:32:42,888 is now an emergency SRE class. 464 00:32:43,088 --> 00:32:45,488 Apparently, there's been an outbreak of pubic lice. 465 00:32:46,488 --> 00:32:48,408 Mr. Groff felt you needed a refresher. 466 00:32:48,728 --> 00:32:50,368 Lucky me, huh? 467 00:32:50,648 --> 00:32:53,408 I'm joking. This is actually gonna be incredibly awkward. 468 00:32:53,488 --> 00:32:55,128 You'll be working in pairs. 469 00:32:55,328 --> 00:32:56,888 You'll need worksheets, 470 00:32:56,968 --> 00:32:58,288 two prophylactics, 471 00:32:58,368 --> 00:33:00,128 and a plastic cock and balls. 472 00:33:14,448 --> 00:33:15,408 Um... 473 00:33:22,968 --> 00:33:24,768 Jesus Christ! 474 00:33:27,008 --> 00:33:27,928 What's next? 475 00:33:34,488 --> 00:33:36,888 Uh... That's not the hymen. 476 00:33:37,528 --> 00:33:39,368 I think I know where the hymen is, but thanks. 477 00:33:39,488 --> 00:33:42,528 Okay, well, I mean, you're... quite wrong. 478 00:33:43,688 --> 00:33:44,528 What is it, then? 479 00:33:46,648 --> 00:33:49,928 They are the paraurethral glands. 480 00:33:50,848 --> 00:33:52,688 The female prostate. 481 00:33:53,928 --> 00:33:54,888 Where's the hymen, then? 482 00:33:58,848 --> 00:33:59,688 Hymen. 483 00:34:01,048 --> 00:34:02,008 -Hm. 484 00:34:08,168 --> 00:34:09,368 -See me after. 485 00:34:12,968 --> 00:34:15,808 -Okay, yeah-- Phones away, please! 486 00:34:15,888 --> 00:34:16,928 Phones away! 487 00:34:17,808 --> 00:34:18,808 People! 488 00:34:19,488 --> 00:34:20,408 What is it? 489 00:34:21,208 --> 00:34:22,048 Nothing. 490 00:34:22,768 --> 00:34:25,088 The head of the penis is incredibly sensitive. 491 00:34:25,448 --> 00:34:28,848 Feel free to stimulate it with your fingers in a circular motion. 492 00:34:28,928 --> 00:34:32,368 As he gets closer to orgasm, you can speed up. 493 00:34:32,648 --> 00:34:36,888 You'll feel him throbbing in your hand like a volcano about to erupt. 494 00:34:37,288 --> 00:34:38,608 Look at that! 495 00:34:38,688 --> 00:34:40,288 Huh. Here we go. 496 00:34:40,808 --> 00:34:43,608 -I can feel it. Look, it's throbbing. -Can we turn this off, please? 497 00:34:43,688 --> 00:34:45,168 Throbbing... 498 00:34:46,128 --> 00:34:47,328 Look... 499 00:34:47,408 --> 00:34:49,208 Oh, fantastic! 500 00:34:50,168 --> 00:34:51,208 And then he comes. 501 00:34:54,248 --> 00:34:55,728 Can you go and see if he's all right? 502 00:34:56,888 --> 00:34:58,288 Oh, fuck it. 503 00:34:58,568 --> 00:35:01,328 Okay, thank you everyone. That's enough drama for today. 504 00:35:05,248 --> 00:35:06,728 Oh, my God. 505 00:35:11,168 --> 00:35:12,208 Do you want one? 506 00:35:19,408 --> 00:35:20,648 Was that really your mum? 507 00:35:21,208 --> 00:35:22,608 Mm. Could have been a lot worse. 508 00:35:23,328 --> 00:35:25,008 She could have been stroking an actual penis. 509 00:35:26,608 --> 00:35:29,168 Oh, God. Yeah, I just think I'm gonna die now. 510 00:35:29,968 --> 00:35:31,048 Don't worry about it. 511 00:35:31,528 --> 00:35:34,448 Speaking as a long-term member of the Moordale Social Pariah Club, 512 00:35:34,568 --> 00:35:35,768 you'll survive. 513 00:35:50,088 --> 00:35:51,768 Oh, ow! 514 00:35:56,408 --> 00:35:57,368 Shit! 515 00:35:57,648 --> 00:35:58,968 Oh, my God. 516 00:36:01,728 --> 00:36:02,568 -Get out! -Okay. 517 00:36:02,648 --> 00:36:03,928 -Fine. -No, wait! 518 00:36:04,728 --> 00:36:05,728 Don't go. 519 00:36:06,288 --> 00:36:07,168 Help me. 520 00:36:07,248 --> 00:36:09,488 I know it was you who sent that video around. 521 00:36:09,928 --> 00:36:11,488 -So? -So I'm not gonna help you. 522 00:36:11,568 --> 00:36:13,888 Please, new kid. It feels... like it's gonna explode. 523 00:36:13,968 --> 00:36:16,288 -And not in a good way. -Well, that's not my problem. 524 00:36:16,368 --> 00:36:17,248 No, wait! 525 00:36:18,088 --> 00:36:19,848 Please, don't go. 526 00:36:19,928 --> 00:36:22,608 -Should we get the nurse? -No! No, you can't tell anyone. 527 00:36:23,408 --> 00:36:25,208 What if he dies or something 528 00:36:25,288 --> 00:36:26,248 Adam... 529 00:36:27,328 --> 00:36:28,288 what did you take? 530 00:36:30,088 --> 00:36:31,088 Viagra. 531 00:36:31,168 --> 00:36:32,168 How much Viagra? 532 00:36:33,888 --> 00:36:36,088 Hey, look, um... 533 00:36:36,608 --> 00:36:39,328 Think of this room as being four walls of trust. 534 00:36:39,408 --> 00:36:41,528 Anything you say is fine. There's no judgment. 535 00:36:42,768 --> 00:36:44,408 -Three Viagras. -Jesus Christ. 536 00:36:44,488 --> 00:36:46,248 -You said there'd be no judgment. -Sorry. 537 00:36:46,328 --> 00:36:49,088 Is three Viagras bad? Her reaction made it seem like it was bad. 538 00:36:49,168 --> 00:36:51,288 I feel lightheaded and I can taste scampi. 539 00:36:51,368 --> 00:36:54,648 -No wonder. You could besiege a castle. -I said stop staring at it! 540 00:36:54,728 --> 00:36:56,008 Sorry! It's like a third leg. 541 00:36:58,608 --> 00:36:59,688 What now? 542 00:37:01,488 --> 00:37:02,368 We wait. 543 00:37:07,888 --> 00:37:10,448 -How is it looking? -Still large, still... 544 00:37:11,928 --> 00:37:12,768 angry. 545 00:37:12,848 --> 00:37:15,688 -Where did you even get the Viagra from? -None of your business. 546 00:37:15,768 --> 00:37:17,608 Please don't tell me you got it from your dad. 547 00:37:20,488 --> 00:37:21,488 I didn't. 548 00:37:24,448 --> 00:37:25,368 Why did you take it? 549 00:37:25,448 --> 00:37:28,248 I don't know. Heard it gives you a good buzz. 550 00:37:28,328 --> 00:37:30,488 You should try it instead of being such a joy fucker. 551 00:37:30,568 --> 00:37:31,568 He's having dick problems. 552 00:37:31,648 --> 00:37:34,328 Yeah -Girls talk, clodpole. 553 00:37:34,528 --> 00:37:35,848 Aimee said you can't come. 554 00:37:42,088 --> 00:37:43,208 It's too much pressure. 555 00:37:45,248 --> 00:37:47,328 -What is? -Everyone knows I've got a giant penis. 556 00:37:47,408 --> 00:37:49,168 -So you wanted to make it bigger? -No. 557 00:37:50,048 --> 00:37:51,608 I just wanted it to get hard. 558 00:37:51,688 --> 00:37:54,168 -Well, why do you think it couldn't? -I don't know. 559 00:37:55,608 --> 00:37:57,408 I can't stop thinkin' about stuff when we shag. 560 00:37:57,488 --> 00:37:59,648 "What if I'm not good at this? Maybe I'm doin' it wrong. 561 00:37:59,728 --> 00:38:02,328 Maybe she knows I'm doin' it wrong. What if my dad walks in? 562 00:38:02,408 --> 00:38:04,808 What if my dad walks in and it's right when I'm blowing my load 563 00:38:04,888 --> 00:38:07,128 and I can't stop, and he sees my jizz face? 564 00:38:07,208 --> 00:38:09,808 -What if..." -Okay. Um... Yeah, no, we get it. 565 00:38:12,608 --> 00:38:13,768 Okay. 566 00:38:13,848 --> 00:38:14,848 Well... 567 00:38:16,008 --> 00:38:20,328 Sounds to me like you're experiencing some performance anxiety. 568 00:38:20,968 --> 00:38:24,848 Perhaps the mythology surrounding the size of your penis doesn't help things. 569 00:38:24,928 --> 00:38:27,088 It is interesting you mention your father. 570 00:38:27,808 --> 00:38:29,488 How does being the headmaster's son affect you? 571 00:38:29,568 --> 00:38:31,168 Well, it's shit, obviously. 572 00:38:31,808 --> 00:38:32,648 Go on. 573 00:38:32,728 --> 00:38:34,728 Everyone's watching me all the time. Everyone's like, 574 00:38:34,808 --> 00:38:37,088 "There goes Adam Groff, headmaster's son. 575 00:38:37,168 --> 00:38:40,008 He's got a big massive elephant's cock." I've got feelings. 576 00:38:44,328 --> 00:38:45,368 I guess that... 577 00:38:48,768 --> 00:38:50,328 I wish I could be a normal kid. 578 00:38:53,088 --> 00:38:54,528 With a normal dick. 579 00:38:58,248 --> 00:38:59,368 And a normal dad. 580 00:39:01,888 --> 00:39:03,168 I think... 581 00:39:03,808 --> 00:39:06,808 that you need to own your narrative, 582 00:39:07,168 --> 00:39:08,688 not let it control you. 583 00:39:08,768 --> 00:39:11,048 Yes, you have a large appendage. 584 00:39:11,408 --> 00:39:14,128 Yes, you're very visible in the school due to your father's position. 585 00:39:14,648 --> 00:39:16,728 But neither is likely to change. 586 00:39:17,208 --> 00:39:18,408 But your outlook can. 587 00:39:19,688 --> 00:39:20,728 Does that make sense? 588 00:39:21,208 --> 00:39:22,168 Not really. 589 00:39:24,088 --> 00:39:26,848 It shouldn't matter what anyone in the school thinks. 590 00:39:26,968 --> 00:39:28,168 You are who you are. 591 00:39:28,248 --> 00:39:30,248 Don't let anyone take that away from you. 592 00:39:30,768 --> 00:39:32,888 So everyone's wrong, and I'm basically... 593 00:39:34,008 --> 00:39:34,848 awesome. 594 00:39:36,928 --> 00:39:39,848 Be proud of your penis and your heritage. 595 00:39:40,128 --> 00:39:41,888 'Cause neither are going anywhere. 596 00:39:42,328 --> 00:39:43,888 You should work with what you've got. 597 00:39:53,528 --> 00:39:54,928 It's going down, new kid. 598 00:39:56,488 --> 00:39:57,328 Thank God. 599 00:40:00,968 --> 00:40:03,528 Uh, you won't tell anyone about this, will you? 600 00:40:04,208 --> 00:40:06,208 You said that thing about the four walls of trust. 601 00:40:06,328 --> 00:40:07,488 We won't tell anyone. 602 00:40:07,768 --> 00:40:10,328 If you leave my friend Eric alone. 603 00:40:11,488 --> 00:40:13,568 -For good. -Tromboner? 604 00:40:13,808 --> 00:40:14,768 It's your choice. 605 00:40:15,888 --> 00:40:16,808 Fine. 606 00:40:18,088 --> 00:40:19,848 I think you owe Otis an apology. 607 00:40:23,168 --> 00:40:26,648 Sorry for sending the video around, but your mum... 608 00:40:27,728 --> 00:40:29,368 really got in my head, new kid. 609 00:40:30,208 --> 00:40:31,488 She's like some kind of... 610 00:40:32,688 --> 00:40:33,688 sexy witch. 611 00:40:42,208 --> 00:40:43,448 Well, that was unusual. 612 00:40:46,328 --> 00:40:47,688 See you around, Otis. 613 00:41:01,848 --> 00:41:04,728 Do you think Headmaster Groff is well hung too? 614 00:41:05,288 --> 00:41:06,768 Yogurt's vegan, right? 615 00:41:16,048 --> 00:41:18,488 Hey! 616 00:41:18,568 --> 00:41:20,368 Can I have everyone's attention, please? 617 00:41:23,088 --> 00:41:24,208 I have something to say. 618 00:41:24,728 --> 00:41:27,688 My name is Adam Groff. Headmaster Groff is my dad. 619 00:41:28,088 --> 00:41:30,648 Which is weird, 'cause I'm quite shit at school. 620 00:41:32,928 --> 00:41:34,568 And this... 621 00:41:36,128 --> 00:41:37,328 This is my dick. 622 00:41:43,888 --> 00:41:44,728 No. 623 00:41:45,448 --> 00:41:46,768 Yes, it is large. 624 00:41:48,088 --> 00:41:49,968 -Oh, my God. -But I've done some googling. 625 00:41:50,048 --> 00:41:52,528 -Oh, my God. -And it's actually just above average 626 00:41:52,608 --> 00:41:55,448 in terms of worldwide adult statistics. 627 00:41:56,608 --> 00:41:57,568 So, yeah. 628 00:41:58,088 --> 00:42:00,208 -That's me. 629 00:42:00,888 --> 00:42:01,968 And that's my dick. 630 00:42:14,008 --> 00:42:15,648 You have to break up with him. 631 00:42:16,328 --> 00:42:17,528 Yeah, I do. 632 00:42:26,248 --> 00:42:27,568 I have to tell you something. 633 00:42:32,088 --> 00:42:33,088 I'm owning my narrative. 634 00:42:33,168 --> 00:42:35,688 I'm owning my narrative! 635 00:42:47,928 --> 00:42:50,048 I owned it! 636 00:42:55,888 --> 00:42:58,488 Welcome back, old friend. How I've missed you. 637 00:43:01,168 --> 00:43:03,088 Uh, what did you wanna talk about? 638 00:43:05,208 --> 00:43:06,648 We have to break up. 639 00:43:08,688 --> 00:43:11,048 -We just had sex. -Yeah. 640 00:43:11,368 --> 00:43:13,008 I wanted to do it one last time. 641 00:43:13,688 --> 00:43:15,208 For, like, memories. 642 00:43:16,328 --> 00:43:17,848 But I don't understand. 643 00:43:18,928 --> 00:43:20,128 I thought it was me. 644 00:43:21,048 --> 00:43:22,488 But it's definitely you. 645 00:43:23,088 --> 00:43:25,248 -What is? -Everything. 646 00:43:26,968 --> 00:43:29,528 Just everything about us is wrong. 647 00:43:30,808 --> 00:43:31,888 Sorry. 648 00:43:32,728 --> 00:43:34,008 But it's over. 649 00:43:42,528 --> 00:43:45,168 Adam Groff to the headmaster's office, please. 650 00:43:48,088 --> 00:43:50,288 Adam Groff to the headmaster's office, please. 651 00:43:55,528 --> 00:43:56,808 And thank you for coming. 652 00:44:04,448 --> 00:44:06,528 Do you have any idea what you have done? 653 00:44:08,448 --> 00:44:11,768 I've had multiple parents threatening to take their children out of school. 654 00:44:11,848 --> 00:44:15,648 They were going to charge you with public indecency if I hadn't intervened. 655 00:44:17,608 --> 00:44:19,168 Detention for the rest of term. 656 00:44:19,248 --> 00:44:20,968 -What? Dad-- -You heard me. 657 00:44:21,688 --> 00:44:22,688 Now get out. 658 00:44:24,608 --> 00:44:26,328 I can't even bear to look at you. 659 00:44:34,168 --> 00:44:35,728 I broke up with Adam. 660 00:44:36,048 --> 00:44:37,968 -Still couldn't come? -No, he did. 661 00:44:38,408 --> 00:44:39,688 We had goodbye sex. 662 00:44:40,128 --> 00:44:43,448 Thing is, school's hard enough without having to date an actual flasher. 663 00:44:43,888 --> 00:44:46,008 I need to find someone a bit more socially acceptable-- 664 00:44:46,088 --> 00:44:48,208 -Rewind, he came? -Yeah. 665 00:44:48,768 --> 00:44:51,568 It was like something clicked in his brain. Boom! 666 00:46:05,448 --> 00:46:06,288 No! 667 00:46:08,488 --> 00:46:10,928 Faster! Faster! 668 00:46:11,008 --> 00:46:13,008 -Faster! Oh, oh, oh! 669 00:46:13,088 --> 00:46:15,688 -Don't stop! Don't stop! Don't stop! 670 00:46:15,768 --> 00:46:18,128 -Okay! Good! Keep going! -Yes! Yes! 671 00:46:18,208 --> 00:46:20,208 Don't... don't... 672 00:46:20,288 --> 00:46:22,528 -Don't stop! Don't stop! 673 00:46:56,208 --> 00:46:57,128 Oh! 674 00:46:57,328 --> 00:46:58,408 Very sorry. 675 00:46:58,488 --> 00:46:59,808 This isn't the bathroom. 676 00:46:59,888 --> 00:47:01,528 No, this is not the bathroom. 677 00:47:01,608 --> 00:47:03,048 I'm Harry, by the way. 678 00:47:14,408 --> 00:47:16,128 -Mum. -Yes, darling? 679 00:47:17,008 --> 00:47:18,368 I can't masturbate. 680 00:47:21,168 --> 00:47:22,448 Sweetheart, I'm glad you-- 681 00:47:22,528 --> 00:47:24,888 I can't masturbate. But I don't wanna talk about it. 682 00:47:25,488 --> 00:47:26,648 I'm dealing with it on my own. 683 00:47:28,168 --> 00:47:29,728 Thank you for telling me. 684 00:47:36,648 --> 00:47:38,408 Yeah, I think I'd better leave too. 685 00:47:39,128 --> 00:47:41,088 I think that's probably best. 686 00:47:51,848 --> 00:47:56,008 Well, only 376 days of sixth form left. 687 00:47:56,088 --> 00:47:57,368 Yeah! 688 00:47:57,448 --> 00:48:00,248 I thought this was supposed to be the best two years of our lives. 689 00:48:00,328 --> 00:48:02,088 At least you got Adam to leave me alone. 690 00:48:02,168 --> 00:48:03,808 Thank you very much for that, man. 691 00:48:04,688 --> 00:48:06,408 -We had a deal. -Yeah, your advice was shit. 692 00:48:06,568 --> 00:48:08,008 My girlfriend's broken up with me. 693 00:48:08,088 --> 00:48:10,048 Everyone's got a picture of my lovely big dick. 694 00:48:11,048 --> 00:48:11,888 Deal's off. 695 00:48:13,368 --> 00:48:14,408 See you later... 696 00:48:15,128 --> 00:48:16,008 Tromboner. 697 00:48:22,008 --> 00:48:24,008 See? That's why you always wear a helmet. 698 00:48:27,208 --> 00:48:29,688 Um, Maeve Wiley's coming straight over here. 699 00:48:29,768 --> 00:48:32,968 She's literally walking straight towards us with purpose. 700 00:48:34,168 --> 00:48:36,048 Uh, Otis. Otis! Otis. 701 00:48:36,128 --> 00:48:38,128 -Okay, she's here. -Nice helmet. 702 00:48:38,808 --> 00:48:40,808 -It's just, safety first. 703 00:48:40,928 --> 00:48:42,248 Can I talk to you for a sec? 704 00:48:44,648 --> 00:48:47,208 Oh, do you want me... Do you want me to go? 705 00:48:47,528 --> 00:48:49,128 -Yeah. -Oh, good. 706 00:48:50,168 --> 00:48:51,288 I'll just, um... 707 00:48:52,208 --> 00:48:53,848 leave, then, shall I? 708 00:49:02,648 --> 00:49:04,968 What did you wanna talk about? 709 00:49:06,808 --> 00:49:07,928 See those two over there? 710 00:49:08,248 --> 00:49:11,248 The one on the right has never been in a lesbian relationship before. 711 00:49:11,328 --> 00:49:13,288 She's terrified of her new girlfriend's vagina. 712 00:49:14,408 --> 00:49:15,288 See her? 713 00:49:15,368 --> 00:49:18,488 She believes that flicking the bean might make her clit drop off. 714 00:49:18,728 --> 00:49:21,608 She hates herself. But she just can't stop wanking. 715 00:49:22,528 --> 00:49:23,728 Do you see them? 716 00:49:24,248 --> 00:49:26,768 Yeah, he's definitely giving everyone pubic lice. 717 00:49:27,048 --> 00:49:28,368 What's your point? 718 00:49:29,488 --> 00:49:31,848 The students at this school need your help, Otis. 719 00:49:32,528 --> 00:49:33,408 And we need their money. 720 00:49:34,048 --> 00:49:36,768 I haven't really worked out the details yet, but I'm good with numbers, so, 721 00:49:36,848 --> 00:49:39,328 I'll deal with the business end of things and you can do the therapy. 722 00:49:39,648 --> 00:49:41,528 We'll charge for every appointment and split the cash. 723 00:49:41,608 --> 00:49:43,528 -Therapy? -Yeah, sex therapy. 724 00:49:44,088 --> 00:49:46,288 You have a gift. It would be irresponsible to waste it. 725 00:49:46,888 --> 00:49:51,128 -Look how you helped Adam. -But I didn't. He hates me now. 726 00:49:51,208 --> 00:49:52,448 He came, Otis. 727 00:49:53,088 --> 00:49:55,168 Your words made him come. 728 00:49:56,808 --> 00:49:57,888 Sort of. 729 00:50:00,328 --> 00:50:02,448 Look, I haven't got all day. Are you in or out? 730 00:50:03,288 --> 00:50:05,688 -Uh... -Okay, fine. Don't worry about it. 731 00:50:10,448 --> 00:50:12,528 Uh... Okay. Maeve! 732 00:50:12,608 --> 00:50:13,608 Wait! Wait! 733 00:50:17,368 --> 00:50:18,368 I'm in!