Hold all my calls.
♪ Boss Baby ♪
♪ I'm the Boss, Boss Baby, boss, boss Boss Baby, boss, boss ♪
♪ Watch a itty-bitty kid get large ♪
♪ I'm the big Boss Baby in charge ♪
♪ Stroller rolling Up and down the boulevard ♪
♪ I'm the big Boss Baby in charge ♪
♪ I run this house, I rule this crib ♪
♪ Change my diaper, son Where's my bib? ♪
♪ Don't pacify You just got to pay me ♪
-♪ Who's in charge? ♪ -♪ Me, the Boss Baby ♪
-Okay, next item. -[applause]
Kudos to Amal on streamlining the approvals process.
Fifteen percent paperwork reduction?
Ooh, somebody's cooking with picante sauce!
-[giggling] -[door bell ringing]
[woman] Ugh! Again?
Meeting adjourned!
[scrambling quietly]
I got it, honey.
Templeton? I got ten cases of--
Baby food?
Look, I'm sorry, I know it's not your fault,
and I don't know what bulk order delivery list we ended up on,
but I promise, no one in this house ordered ten cases of baby food
delivered four times a day!
More for me.
Ooh, boy, Ted.
-I hope your baby's feeling better. -What?
[screams]
-[shouting] -[glass breaking]
Jars of life, nourish this body!
You know we can't hide everybody from Mom and Dad forever.
-We need a plan to take back Baby Corp. -I have a plan.
What I lack is access to Baby Corp.
Where are we on a transport chupie workaround?
Does this answer your question?
Not close.
Hey, guys, quick HR update. The diaper wagon is full again.
I'm learning how to eat broccoli!
-I got it. -Hang on, I'll come with you.
And I mean bless Simmons for her reckless experimentation,
but we have to fix the chupie transport system itself,
which can only be done from the office.
So, we can't get back to Baby Corp without getting back to Baby Corp.
There has to be another way to kick out your enemies.
How is that your only idea?
I don't know. Maybe it's just really hard to think with an office-load of babies
soiling themselves over every inch of our basement.
And apparently I can't even get two minutes of downtime
without some random preeks clattering like it's Take Your Hyena to Work Day
at the leaf blower factory!
Wait, those aren't random preeks.
They're the ones renting part of your office.
Not possible.
-Business! -Boss Baby!
Thank you for the surprise!
-But there's still more animals. -All yours. Negotiation over.
Just, please, can you tell me how you've been getting back and forth
from your "play office"?
When it was my birthday party, we were playing with our swords.
Okay, can you show me how you've been getting there?
Yes.
[Staci] There's a back door to Baby Corp?
An old, forgotten emergency access port. One side opens to a fake tree in the park.
The other side-- a sub-basement level of Baby Corp.
We've got our way in!
[cheering]
All right, the job's not done yet.
We've still got three sets of arch-nemeses to boot out.
I'll be going in with a small, hand-picked team.
We enter through the sub-basement access, make our way up to the roof--
tippy-top control tower.
Whatever our enemies are using to hijack our systems,
Simmons figures it has to be up there.
Look for anything out of place.
A contraption, a whatchamadoo, possibly a thingerybob.
Good news-- we have ruled out whatchahoosits.
Whatever it is, we take it out.
And once our transport chupies are working, in jumps everybaby.
Out go the baddies, we hit that beautiful Yellow 100,
and I retire in a flame of baby love glory.
Sir? Great plan.
Love the part where babies who aren't me take all the risks,
but wouldn't it save a few steps if we all just went in the secret access door?
As long as our enemies control the chupie transport tech,
they can strike anywhere and vanish just as quickly.
No, our only shot is with a small, stealthy team.
Jimbo, Katja and Phil, Frankie, Hendershot, Dondre, Triplets,
and of course Tim for big-kid tactical support and snacks.
The rest of you will be running a diversion down here, so gear up.
Today, we take back Baby Corp!
Hey, Boss, heard a lot of names for that stealthy field team,
but not your VP of Field Ops?
Of course not. You're heading the diversion team.
Is this still about my diaper marketing disaster?
Or did I do something else wrong?
What? No, neither.
I need you down here.
Bad guys jammed our monitors, too.
When the time comes to chupie in the cavalry,
your team will have no way of knowing if my team did its job,
that you won't get bounced away to Siberia
or some liberal arts college with a pinecone for a mascot.
This plan only works if the two team leaders trust each other
to do their jobs perfectly.
And in my book, that means it only works if it's you.
Tell me what you want me to do.
One hour, on the dot.
I will destroy that jamming device, no matter what.
And we'll be there.
-Yellow 100. -Yellow 100.
They say this is the one with the secret door.
-Saliva activated? -That does sound like our technology.
We're in!
[babies babbling]
Oh, my gosh. Look at their little office clothes.
They're like business babies!
Aw, look at their little tiny neckties.
Look at that! Get your camera, somebody!
[adults cooing]
Bizbabies! Is it a marketing stunt?
A maternity ward with a sense of humor and appalling security?
In this reporter's judgment, who cares? Embrace the adorability.
A'course it's Boss Baby, ya manky git.
-Finish him! -I'm with the goat.
Split up for the hunt, somebody finds Boss Baby, calls in the rest of us, pow!
Take out the king, take down the whole chessboard.
I assume. Chess is for dorks.
-Ooh, great plan. -A moment, Mr. Pyg, Mr. Tam.
I smell media manipulation.
A circus sideshow to keep everyone looking exactly where he wants.
So, where does Boss Baby want us not looking?
-Where's the night light? -What?
I'm a baby, man.
We don't just walk into a dark hallway without a night light.
That's how the Shadowsnatcher gets you.
Yes, we all acknowledge the terrifying existence of the Shadowsnatcher.
But do you see any of us being eaten?
No...
Probably because of the bad lighting.
What's the holdup?
You're blocking the portal and we are on a schedule, so come on.
Not without a night light.
They're in the sub-basement!
Too many night lights!
[dogs barking]
I got one!
No!
Everyone run!
[dogs barking]
-Anyone else with you? -I think Hendershot got captured.
Katja and at least one of the Triplets, too.
-So, what do we do? -No way to warn Staci.
Which means in 49 minutes, a whole lot of babies
are gonna chupie themselves into trouble
unless somebody gets up to the roof and takes out that jamming device.
I have always wanted to be "somebody."
Come on.
Hey, when all this is over and I retire to being a regular baby,
make sure I never develop any stupid hang-ups about night lights.
-Why are you not writing this? -What?
I'm gonna be a drooling ga-ga head who forgot everything important.
-Write it down! -Okay, geez.
[Boss Baby] Oh, and never, under any circumstances,
let our parents dress me in anything with a novelty slogan.
You see a "Daddy's Little Monkey" onesie on me, you rip that filth right off.
Can we not deal with regular baby stuff right now?
-Any of those go up to the roof? -Annoyingly, no.
But the boardroom does. Hatch in the ceiling.
And those elevators are our express line to the boardroom.
Keep it up, Stace.
Does the diversion matter anymore? The bad guys already know we're here.
You know what separates golf pros from golf amateurs?
-Probably good golfing? -Follow-through.
Templeton, elevator!
You said the hatch to the roof was up in the boardroom.
The baddies must have realized we're headed there.
We need to throw them off and circle back later.
Do we even have a later?
Twenty-nine minutes till Staci's team tries to chupie in.
According to my expensive watch, which should be held in trust till I can--
Enough regular baby stuff! Focus.
All clear.
Like my flawless baby skin.
I wanna kiss myself, but my lips can't reach.
How long were you waiting to deliver that comeback?
I also workshopped responses for "No sign of them"
and "It's quiet, too quiet."
Go ahead, feed me another setup.
Allez!
Dondre, you got away.
-Now, it's two against-- -Non!
This executive dining room is a holy temple of cuisine,
not a sweaty cage of punchy-slap-kick.
Non!
Now we eat, like civilized creatures.
Sorry. I got lost.
-Ow! -Never arrive late for a meal.
You know you're not walking out of here a free baby, right?
Idea.
-Boss Baby gives himself up. -Great plan!
I wrote up the terms of surrender while I was saying this sentence out loud.
Ah, come on, BB. It's what everybody wants.
PuppyCo gets rid of their most hated enemy...
We takes this lovely office space for our new telly studio.
And me? Promotion!
Baby Corp's new CEO.
Of course I will relocate the company to some island country
with favorable tax rates and no laws against baby plastic surgery.
What? Thinking of getting a sixth dimple.
Cheek, cheek, chin, butt, butt, mystery.
For monsieur, la banane congelée. Flash-frozen for the sensitive baby gums.
I am cutting a tooth right now.
And this? Bit of heaven.
What are we thinking on surrender? Yes? Is it a yes?
Take your time. You're not going anywhere.
Shame. Could have saved you all a ton of time and hassle.
I am leaving Baby Corp.
But you go first.
Mate, for a business bloke, you are rubbish wif numbers.
Our team, small army with teleportation, versus what?
You, Beanstalk Magoof? Frenchy, you gettin' a piece of this?
I have told you, I will not fight in my own culinary sanctum.
Cool.
Because I have already given Boss Baby everything he needs.
-No! -Yeah!
He's headed for the roof! Race you there?
I'll crab walk and say the alphabet backwards.
Z, Y, X, W, V, U, T...
I'll take the hatch in the boardroom and meet you.
Eight minutes.
Vive la Baby Corp.
[Staci] Look for anything out of place--
a contraption, a whatchamadoo, possibly a...
Thingerybob.
...D-C-B-A!
Templeton!
Roof hatch... Where...?
[dog barking]
I'm sorry. You're dogs in chairs with your little legs sticking out.
Templeton?
Templeton!
Just go break the jamming thing. I will be there.
Hi, baby! Who wants to play keep-away?
[Boss Baby] One hour, on the dot.
[Tim] I will be there.
Now!
Wow!
What?
Come on, Templeton.
Hey, dogs, what did the chicken say to the egg?
Hatch!
[Boss Baby screaming]
-Told you I'd be there. -You're counting that?
Yo, Boss! We gonna take care of these yahoos?
Hendershot?
Chupies reprogrammed. Slap 'em in.
[prisoner] Well, well, well.
If it ain't them children's entertainers what finks they look tougher
wif rubbish East London accents.
Mr. Pyg and Mr. Tam say it was all their idea
and you should do your prison violence on them instead of me.
Thank you, very noble.
[OCB] That is a leather diaper, you animals!
I love it here!
-Boss, look! -[female reporter] "Sparklebabies."
The new adorable phenomenon that makes the last one look like gutter puke.
Was it an optical illusion?
We may never know, but Channel Eight News promises our viewers this--
we are gonna run these clips on loop until the "awws" run dry.
-[woman] Love 'em! -Throw it up on the board.
-Yellow 100. -Yellow 100.
Oh, man, somebody trained their pet ferret to surf, and it is cute as heck.
Staci, prep the field team.
Hendershot, I want exact coordinates in 20 seconds.
If we let that ferret get a toehold...
What?
It's time to let go.
But the ferret! Baby love!
There's always gonna be a ferret, or a hamster, or just... whatever.
You said yourself you didn't want to deal with regular baby stuff.
Can't we just stay like this?
I wish we could, because I'm gonna miss you so much.
But we're still brothers, forever.
I will be there.
Last time you said that, I ended up plummeting off a building.
And I caught you. I didn't say I know how I'll be there.
I don't know what happens next.
Yeah, but it could be great.
Just give me a day to plan my retirement party.
You're planning a party for yourself? You know that's weird.
One day. Trust me.
Your favorite tie clip?
It'll look better on you.
Gonna miss you, Beebs.
"I don't do mornings."
That's never getting old.
"Thou shalt not steal"? Well, that can't be right.
-Close enough. -Never change, big guy.
Sir, you don't have to do--
Just open it.
You don't need anything from anyone. You're ready for this.
The board will make it official on Monday.
Thank you, sir.
Thank you, boss.
Templeton, I gotta be honest, I think I gave your present to someone else.
I'm good.
Well, that's the last of the special formula.
Change should be coming any minute.
You really gonna watch me turn into regular baby Theodore Lindsey Templeton?
What if I shove a raisin up my nostril?
-I'll be here. -Your call.
I thought you got rid of your monitor.
-Tim? -Danny?
Some weird baby in a suit handed me a gift box with this thing and a note--
"Press button for bro jam."
-Thanks. -[Danny] We gonna do this?
I made a few revisions since last time. I hope that's cool.
Yeah. Things change.
[Tim and Danny in unison] One and two and three and four...
♪ What's up, bro? ♪
♪ I hope you know That no matter where you go ♪
♪ I'll be there ♪
♪ For your highs down through your lows ♪
♪ CEOs or average Joes ♪
♪ Who cares as long as we're still bros? ♪
♪ We fit like noses and mustachios ♪
-♪ I love you, bro ♪ -♪ I love you, bro♪
-♪ Why don't people say that? ♪ -♪ Yeah, hello ♪
♪ You're the gold I find In every bro rainbow ♪
-♪ Yo! ♪ -♪ We make a rockin' amigo combo ♪
♪ And I'm so glad that I got to be your bro ♪
♪ I love you and I'll always be your bro ♪
Boss Baby