1 00:00:13,471 --> 00:00:15,015 -[boy grunts] -[phone dings] 2 00:00:15,098 --> 00:00:16,558 Hold all my calls. 3 00:00:17,058 --> 00:00:19,769 -[giggling] -[lullaby plays] 4 00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:21,438 ♪ Boss Baby ♪ 5 00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:25,400 ♪ I'm the Boss, Boss Baby, boss, boss Boss Baby, boss, boss ♪ 6 00:00:25,483 --> 00:00:28,027 ♪ Watch a itty-bitty kid get large ♪ 7 00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:30,655 ♪ I'm the big Boss Baby in charge ♪ 8 00:00:30,739 --> 00:00:33,116 ♪ Stroller rolling Up and down the boulevard ♪ 9 00:00:33,491 --> 00:00:35,702 ♪ I'm the big Boss Baby in charge ♪ 10 00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:39,039 ♪ I run this house, I rule this crib ♪ 11 00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:41,583 ♪ Change my diaper, son Where's my bib? ♪ 12 00:00:41,666 --> 00:00:44,377 ♪ Don't pacify You just got to pay me ♪ 13 00:00:44,502 --> 00:00:46,963 -♪ Who's in charge? ♪ -♪ Me, the Boss Baby ♪ 14 00:00:48,047 --> 00:00:48,882 [music playing] 15 00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:50,884 [narrator] Children of War! 16 00:00:50,967 --> 00:00:54,596 Our cowardly corporate enemies attacked while our defenses were down. 17 00:00:54,679 --> 00:00:55,930 Unfair play! 18 00:00:56,014 --> 00:00:57,974 But Baby Corp prepares to fight back 19 00:00:58,057 --> 00:01:01,144 the way babies do-- adorably. 20 00:01:01,936 --> 00:01:04,522 All fours! Crawl! Suck thumb! 21 00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:07,400 [narrator] No battle can be won without resources, 22 00:01:07,484 --> 00:01:10,320 so keep donating those office supplies. 23 00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:12,906 Your sacrifices will be difficult, 24 00:01:12,989 --> 00:01:15,408 but every baby must do their part. 25 00:01:16,284 --> 00:01:19,788 Oh, hi. You've caught me making painful but necessary cuts 26 00:01:19,871 --> 00:01:21,748 to Baby Corp's operating budget. 27 00:01:21,831 --> 00:01:25,126 Remember, a penny saved is a penny closer to victory. 28 00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:27,629 -For Baby Corp! -[Staci] My department can't function! 29 00:01:27,712 --> 00:01:29,506 [voices overlapping] 30 00:01:29,589 --> 00:01:31,591 People, this is for the war effort! 31 00:01:31,674 --> 00:01:34,636 We've never faced three enemies simultaneously before. 32 00:01:34,719 --> 00:01:37,806 We all have to be prepared to make sacrifices. 33 00:01:37,889 --> 00:01:40,141 -Boss is right! -Thank you, Chip. 34 00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:43,269 I've been changing my diaper without using baby wipes. 35 00:01:43,353 --> 00:01:45,146 -[all gasp] -And you should, too! 36 00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:46,564 Everyone, quiet! 37 00:01:46,856 --> 00:01:49,776 This doesn't have to get emotional or unhygienic. 38 00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:53,071 It's a straightforward cost-benefit analysis. 39 00:01:53,154 --> 00:01:54,948 You all have copies of the company budget, 40 00:01:55,031 --> 00:01:57,742 so let's just go through this thing line by line, 41 00:01:57,826 --> 00:01:59,869 calmly and rationally. 42 00:02:00,703 --> 00:02:01,621 [all gasp] 43 00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:03,248 Baby Corp Community Theater? 44 00:02:03,331 --> 00:02:06,084 Egads, that's pricey. Easy cut, right? 45 00:02:06,167 --> 00:02:07,627 Objection, if I may. 46 00:02:07,836 --> 00:02:11,548 The skills I learn on the stage apply directly to my work. 47 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:12,674 Like? 48 00:02:12,757 --> 00:02:16,344 Acting like I'm cool with something when I'm really very angry. 49 00:02:16,427 --> 00:02:19,848 And as you can see, I could use some serious theater rehearsals right now! 50 00:02:19,931 --> 00:02:21,099 I'm sorry, Hendershot. 51 00:02:21,182 --> 00:02:23,560 Maybe you should cut intramural dodgeball instead. 52 00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:25,562 -Look at those expenses. -[Jimbo] No! 53 00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:27,772 Dodgeball develops important skills like... 54 00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:31,025 throwing and not getting hit by stuff! 55 00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:33,528 And when we win games, we get ice cream! 56 00:02:33,778 --> 00:02:35,196 So sorry, my friend. 57 00:02:35,363 --> 00:02:36,489 [sobs] 58 00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:37,407 [Boss Baby] Wow. Hold on. 59 00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:39,325 [whistles] "Project Boom"? 60 00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:41,911 Costing us an arm and a leg. What do we know about this one? 61 00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:46,916 You should cut it to save dodgeball. 62 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,293 Yeah, I agree with that guy! 63 00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:51,921 So, no one's going to whine to me about cutting Project Boom? 64 00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:53,923 Outstanding! 65 00:02:54,465 --> 00:02:55,466 Make it happen. 66 00:02:57,677 --> 00:02:58,511 [pops] 67 00:02:58,761 --> 00:02:59,596 [pops] 68 00:03:03,182 --> 00:03:04,392 [whizzing] 69 00:03:06,769 --> 00:03:07,645 -[clatters] -Eh...? 70 00:03:14,068 --> 00:03:14,903 [clatters] 71 00:03:14,986 --> 00:03:16,154 [wheels squeaking] 72 00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:18,281 [voice] Finally! 73 00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:19,657 [grunts] 74 00:03:21,159 --> 00:03:21,993 [sighs] 75 00:03:22,076 --> 00:03:25,496 "We thank you for your service, and... Project Boom cancelled"? 76 00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:28,499 What? No! What? Come on! 77 00:03:28,583 --> 00:03:29,959 You serious with this, hoss? 78 00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:32,420 I know it's been a while since my last assignment, but... 79 00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:35,840 It's been a while. You forgot what I can do for the company. 80 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:39,344 Okay, okay, okay. You just need a reminder of what Project Boom's all about, 81 00:03:39,427 --> 00:03:41,888 and I got a big one I've been holding onto for a moment... 82 00:03:42,263 --> 00:03:44,641 just like this. 83 00:03:45,141 --> 00:03:47,143 [voices overlapping] 84 00:03:50,605 --> 00:03:52,315 [Boom Baby] "Kinderglückseligkeit..." 85 00:03:52,523 --> 00:03:56,152 the finest German engineering money can buy. 86 00:03:59,030 --> 00:04:01,783 But is it really as safe as they say? 87 00:04:03,826 --> 00:04:04,661 -Boom! -[thumps] 88 00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:06,579 -[Baby Boom crying] -[patrons gasping] 89 00:04:07,163 --> 00:04:08,998 Roosevelt! Forks down, we're working! 90 00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:09,999 All right! 91 00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:12,752 Lunch date just got paid for by Channel 8, baby! 92 00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:16,172 You know where to find me. 93 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:18,716 -[alarm blaring] -[voices yelling] 94 00:04:19,425 --> 00:04:20,677 What happened? Who hit us? 95 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:22,345 Hang on. Calling it up! 96 00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:23,763 ...touted by its makers 97 00:04:23,846 --> 00:04:27,058 as "The safest chair for baby-sized objects." 98 00:04:27,141 --> 00:04:30,270 But is the Kinderglückseligkeit safe for babies? 99 00:04:30,561 --> 00:04:32,355 Take back those filthy words. 100 00:04:32,563 --> 00:04:35,191 We're not ruling out the table as a suspect, 101 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:39,445 but if it is the chair, that thing's getting recalled. 102 00:04:39,696 --> 00:04:42,949 [gasps] You can't take away our Kinderglückseligkeits! 103 00:04:43,032 --> 00:04:45,410 Where is a baby supposed to sit for a restaurant meal? 104 00:04:45,493 --> 00:04:47,078 Uh, parents' laps? 105 00:04:47,161 --> 00:04:48,496 What are we, napkins? 106 00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:50,707 Parental anxiety levels are through the roof, Beebs! 107 00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:54,210 This is the worst thing to happen since somebody cancelled dodgeball! 108 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,963 -Are we really doing this right now? -I don't wanna talk about it! 109 00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:59,132 This was no accident. 110 00:04:59,215 --> 00:05:03,303 Which of our enemies is capable of such a well-coordinated attack on baby love? 111 00:05:03,386 --> 00:05:06,472 -I need actionable intelligence! -[gasps] Boss? 112 00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:09,309 I think we have an eyewitness. 113 00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:11,561 [giggles] 114 00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:14,022 Yes, I am a baby in a suit. 115 00:05:14,105 --> 00:05:16,941 It's very comical. Now, come on, you know me! 116 00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:18,693 [Staci] Maybe he doesn't anymore. 117 00:05:18,776 --> 00:05:22,238 He's been retired as a normal baby for a long time. 118 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:25,158 Who knows what he remembers about Baby Corp? 119 00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:26,868 Maybe we should just leave him alone. 120 00:05:27,118 --> 00:05:28,578 It's just conversation. 121 00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:30,580 Hey, there, little prince. 122 00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:33,124 Can you tell me what happened at the restaurant today? 123 00:05:33,207 --> 00:05:34,167 -[babbles] -[clatters] 124 00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:37,670 -Yes, baby did fall down and go boom-boom. -[giggles] 125 00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:42,258 Now, which of these silly willies helped baby go boom-boom? 126 00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:44,635 [babbles] 127 00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:48,222 We know "baby fell go boom-boom." Who else was at the num-num place? 128 00:05:48,639 --> 00:05:51,017 Bark-barks? Baa-baa? Consult- consult? 129 00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:54,020 I get it. You didn't ask to be a witness. 130 00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:55,438 Did they threaten you? 131 00:05:55,521 --> 00:05:58,941 Because I promise, no matter what they said they'd do... 132 00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:00,276 [growls] I can do worse. 133 00:06:00,359 --> 00:06:01,402 Nope, nope, too scary. 134 00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:03,446 Dial it back, dial it back. 135 00:06:03,529 --> 00:06:05,281 -[Mega Fat babbling] -[Jimbo] Uh, Boss? 136 00:06:05,573 --> 00:06:07,241 [babbles] 137 00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:12,288 "Project Boom BFFs for life. 138 00:06:12,371 --> 00:06:14,332 No take-backsies"? 139 00:06:15,416 --> 00:06:16,250 [Boss Baby gasps] 140 00:06:16,834 --> 00:06:18,044 -[giggles] -[blocks clatter] 141 00:06:18,586 --> 00:06:20,296 Hendershot, hit the company archives. 142 00:06:20,379 --> 00:06:23,007 Gather everything Mega Fat had on Project Boom. 143 00:06:23,091 --> 00:06:25,426 I want a full briefing the minute I hit the office! 144 00:06:27,261 --> 00:06:29,972 "Boom Baby: Born to Boom"? 145 00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:32,141 Since you cut Baby Corp Community Theater, 146 00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:34,310 we've got no outlet to showcase our talents. 147 00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:36,729 Dodgeball feels you. 148 00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:39,107 -I don't wanna talk about it! -[moans] 149 00:06:39,273 --> 00:06:41,734 Really just need a file folder with some bullet points and-- 150 00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:43,361 No talking during the performance. 151 00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:45,446 [music playing] 152 00:06:45,863 --> 00:06:50,535 Hi! I'm Boom Baby, and I have a special talent! 153 00:06:50,618 --> 00:06:52,370 Whoops! Agh! 154 00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:55,164 I'm falling down an entire flight of stairs, 155 00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:58,126 but it doesn't really bother me because my special talent 156 00:06:58,209 --> 00:07:02,463 is an incredibly high tolerance for pain! 157 00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:05,091 I'm Mega Fat CEO Baby. 158 00:07:05,174 --> 00:07:08,136 I know just how to use your special talent! 159 00:07:08,219 --> 00:07:11,222 I call it "Project Boom." 160 00:07:12,348 --> 00:07:14,684 I am the passage of time. 161 00:07:15,351 --> 00:07:18,146 I will slide down this playground slide. 162 00:07:18,229 --> 00:07:19,355 Too hot! 163 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,566 [mock sobbing] Wah-hh! 164 00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:22,692 I'm a parent. 165 00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:25,695 Let's put a shade over this slide to prevent burned heinies! 166 00:07:26,070 --> 00:07:28,489 This trike's too wobbly! 167 00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:30,575 Wah-hh! 168 00:07:30,658 --> 00:07:32,660 Let's bring it in for a refund! 169 00:07:32,827 --> 00:07:34,287 I'm also a parent. 170 00:07:35,329 --> 00:07:36,998 This is a cactus. 171 00:07:37,081 --> 00:07:40,334 -[thumps] -Ow! Who put a cactus here? 172 00:07:40,418 --> 00:07:42,503 Wah-hh! 173 00:07:43,212 --> 00:07:46,382 I'm the President of Volcano Taming at the space circus! 174 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,885 I can't remember my lines or who my character is, 175 00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:51,095 but I do know I should move this cactus. 176 00:07:51,637 --> 00:07:52,930 You're sure about all this? 177 00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:55,099 It's all straight from Mega Fat's old voice memos. 178 00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:56,684 Dude really loved to hear himself talk. 179 00:07:56,767 --> 00:07:59,103 There's, like, five hours of him just working on lyrics 180 00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:00,771 for the "Ha Ha You're Fired" song. 181 00:08:00,855 --> 00:08:03,608 Hee-hee-ha-ho, you're-- No, no, I can beat that. 182 00:08:03,941 --> 00:08:05,735 Take a baby who doesn't get hurt easily, 183 00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:08,613 use him to expose all the dangerous flaws in baby products. 184 00:08:08,696 --> 00:08:10,907 Hmm. It's actually not a bad idea. 185 00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:14,202 Even a broken European clock is right once a day. 186 00:08:14,285 --> 00:08:16,704 But who told Boom Baby to go after that high chair? 187 00:08:16,954 --> 00:08:18,414 Nobody. 188 00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:21,167 I mean, I'm going improv here, but... 189 00:08:21,417 --> 00:08:22,585 [inhales] 190 00:08:22,668 --> 00:08:23,586 I'm Boom Baby! 191 00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:26,297 I haven't heard from Baby Corp since Mega Fat got fired 192 00:08:26,380 --> 00:08:28,174 and everybody forgot about me! 193 00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:31,052 Wait. What's this letter? 194 00:08:31,135 --> 00:08:33,846 Project Boom is cancelled? 195 00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:35,264 Not if I can help it. 196 00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:38,059 Maybe I'll just make my own baby-proofing projects. 197 00:08:38,434 --> 00:08:42,021 [gasps] He's gone rogue! We need to stop this ASAP. 198 00:08:42,104 --> 00:08:43,648 I want a meeting, in person. 199 00:08:43,731 --> 00:08:46,234 Somebody get a message to Boom. 200 00:08:48,277 --> 00:08:49,570 -[clatters] -[stammers, gasps] 201 00:08:49,904 --> 00:08:51,405 [toddler babbling] 202 00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:53,950 No sign of him, Boss. 203 00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:55,493 He could be plotting an ambush. 204 00:08:55,576 --> 00:08:58,663 We need an emergency code phrase in case things get hairy-- 205 00:08:58,746 --> 00:09:00,164 something we can all remember. 206 00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:02,667 I remember dodgeball. Don't wanna talk about it. 207 00:09:02,750 --> 00:09:06,003 Ooh, how about, "Wow, I can't believe this is going so well"? 208 00:09:06,170 --> 00:09:07,380 Copy that, Boss. 209 00:09:07,463 --> 00:09:09,966 Come on, big guy, help me scout the perimeter. 210 00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:14,095 All right, where are you hiding? 211 00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:17,139 Ah-hh! Whew. My back needed this. 212 00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:19,976 Boom Baby? 213 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:25,565 You're right, it's not a social call. Let's talk business. 214 00:09:26,148 --> 00:09:28,609 So, I'm un-cancelled? 215 00:09:29,026 --> 00:09:30,111 Is that what this is about? 216 00:09:30,194 --> 00:09:32,863 You just torpedoed the world's safest high chair. 217 00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:34,657 Not exactly winning Baby Corp over. 218 00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:36,659 It was too high for a chair. 219 00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:38,828 It's a high chair! [moans] 220 00:09:38,911 --> 00:09:41,539 Look, your former service is appreciated, 221 00:09:41,622 --> 00:09:43,416 but it's time to stand down. 222 00:09:43,499 --> 00:09:46,586 Baby Corp's at war. We don't need another distraction. 223 00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:49,463 And frankly, we have test dummies in the R&D lab 224 00:09:49,547 --> 00:09:52,383 that can do this job without making a public scene. 225 00:09:52,466 --> 00:09:54,427 You can't cancel me, cubicle boy. 226 00:09:54,510 --> 00:09:55,845 I want to talk to the CEO. 227 00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:58,431 Mega Fat's a friend. He'll take the meeting. 228 00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:00,349 [chuckles] Of course! 229 00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:03,144 Oh, Boom Baby, this is all a huge misunderstanding. 230 00:10:03,227 --> 00:10:05,730 You've been out in the field so long, you don't even know. 231 00:10:06,063 --> 00:10:08,274 I'm the CEO. Boss Baby. 232 00:10:08,357 --> 00:10:11,777 So, yes, I do have the authority to cancel Project Boom, 233 00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:15,448 but we'd love to find you some alternative position within the comp-- 234 00:10:15,531 --> 00:10:18,075 -Where are you going? -Ha! I knew you weren't Baby Corp. 235 00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:20,786 A handshake? That's for dogs. 236 00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:22,371 Is that who you're working for? 237 00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,332 PuppyCo trying to shut down my work? 238 00:10:24,415 --> 00:10:26,292 Am I the only true Baby Corper left? 239 00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:28,461 [yells] Wow, I can't believe this is going so well! 240 00:10:28,544 --> 00:10:30,046 -[screams] -Huh...? 241 00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:32,715 You're coming back to Baby Corp. 242 00:10:32,965 --> 00:10:36,177 Let the airplane land! 243 00:10:36,260 --> 00:10:38,220 [Jimbo] Suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck! 244 00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:40,014 [grunts] 245 00:10:40,097 --> 00:10:42,224 Nice try, but I'm used to spitting out stuff 246 00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:43,809 babies shouldn't have eaten. 247 00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:47,605 You thought a conspiracy of fakers could stop me making this world safe for babies? 248 00:10:47,938 --> 00:10:50,983 All you did was unleash me. 249 00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:52,026 [gasps] 250 00:10:53,569 --> 00:10:54,445 [clatters] 251 00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:56,155 Agh! [yelps] 252 00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:59,033 -Boom, please listen. -That's gonna be hard. 253 00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:02,119 This place is about to get loud. 254 00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:05,539 -[squeals] -[moans] 255 00:11:05,623 --> 00:11:07,208 -[babies wailing] -Do they look safer to you? 256 00:11:07,291 --> 00:11:10,544 They will be, now that I got their attention. 257 00:11:10,628 --> 00:11:11,796 [mother] Oh, sweetie! 258 00:11:11,879 --> 00:11:13,589 [voices overlapping] 259 00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:15,633 No, no, no, no, no! 260 00:11:20,596 --> 00:11:21,430 Boom! 261 00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:24,225 He's good. 262 00:11:24,308 --> 00:11:25,518 This is bad. 263 00:11:25,601 --> 00:11:29,355 [Marsha] What was once a safe haven for mommies to read romance novels 264 00:11:29,438 --> 00:11:31,732 is now shut down and exposed 265 00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:34,026 as a hotbed of baby contusions. 266 00:11:34,610 --> 00:11:37,780 [groans] Another bastion of parental comfort gone belly-up! 267 00:11:37,863 --> 00:11:39,240 What does Boom Baby want? 268 00:11:39,323 --> 00:11:42,493 A world where parents have their babies strapped to them 24-7? 269 00:11:42,576 --> 00:11:44,453 I mean, yeah, probably. 270 00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,330 If Boom keeps stressing out parents like this, 271 00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:49,959 we won't have to worry about war with Pyg & Tam, OCB, or PuppyCo. 272 00:11:50,042 --> 00:11:52,002 We won't have any baby love left to lose! 273 00:11:52,086 --> 00:11:55,923 We have to stop him, the way Boss stopped our dodgeball team! 274 00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:57,633 You are really hung up on the dodgeb-- 275 00:11:57,716 --> 00:12:01,053 -I said I don't wanna talk about it! -Jimbo, if you won't even talk to me-- 276 00:12:02,471 --> 00:12:04,640 I know who Boom Baby will talk to! 277 00:12:04,723 --> 00:12:09,103 And how are we getting Mega Fat Normal Retired Baby to play along? 278 00:12:09,186 --> 00:12:11,730 I'm on it. Just get a fix on Boom Baby's location. 279 00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:13,691 And somebody track down my brother! 280 00:12:14,024 --> 00:12:16,694 [laughing] 281 00:12:17,903 --> 00:12:19,280 [Danny] Oh, I love playing 282 00:12:19,363 --> 00:12:21,782 "Think About If Dinosaurs Had Longer Arms Than Legs." 283 00:12:22,616 --> 00:12:25,870 We should turn it into a game show! We'd be so rich and famous! 284 00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:29,665 Eh, I can go for rich, but probably gotta hold off on getting famous. 285 00:12:29,748 --> 00:12:32,877 My dad was worried enough that time you and me got on the TV news. 286 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:34,670 -[Tim grunts] -The government watches all the channels, 287 00:12:34,753 --> 00:12:38,007 even the half-channels they can't tell you about in TV school. 288 00:12:39,675 --> 00:12:41,844 Templeton, does the house only have chunky? 289 00:12:41,927 --> 00:12:42,761 Chunky what? 290 00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:44,388 Still working on the settings. 291 00:12:44,472 --> 00:12:46,640 -Is Mega Fat left-handed or-- -Right! 292 00:12:46,724 --> 00:12:48,934 -Right, chunky what? -Listen faster! 293 00:12:49,185 --> 00:12:50,394 -You got it, Boss! -On it! 294 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:53,063 Listen faster to what? Can I hang up now? 295 00:12:53,230 --> 00:12:55,107 Of course not. This won't work if we don't have you. 296 00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:57,067 These are the coolest glasses I could find. 297 00:12:57,151 --> 00:12:59,945 -Smooth. -We get it, you look cool for a baby. 298 00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:02,740 -No, I need smooth. -We have eyes on Boom! 299 00:13:02,823 --> 00:13:06,410 Just get to the town square. Bring straws and smooth peanut butter! 300 00:13:06,827 --> 00:13:07,703 I gotta go. 301 00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:10,706 What about "Think About If Dinosaurs Had Bigger Arms Than Legs"? 302 00:13:10,789 --> 00:13:14,001 -Play it one-player! -But it doesn't work one-player! 303 00:13:15,127 --> 00:13:16,420 [laughs] 304 00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:18,506 Oh, wait. Yeah, it does. [laughing] 305 00:13:19,256 --> 00:13:23,052 [Baby Boom] All these people, walking around like their babies are safe 306 00:13:23,135 --> 00:13:26,305 when every corner is sharp, every quarter shiny enough to eat. 307 00:13:26,388 --> 00:13:27,598 But we're gonna show them, chief. 308 00:13:27,806 --> 00:13:30,643 After today, it won't matter if they shut down Project Boom. 309 00:13:30,726 --> 00:13:32,937 Today, baby safety takes a flying leap into-- 310 00:13:33,020 --> 00:13:33,854 [voice] Hello? 311 00:13:35,272 --> 00:13:37,858 It's me. Nice to see... you. 312 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,611 [gasps] Mega Fat CEO Baby! 313 00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:43,364 I really don't think we should have involved him. 314 00:13:43,447 --> 00:13:46,742 There's zero danger. Boom Baby idolizes Mega Fat. 315 00:13:46,825 --> 00:13:49,453 And that's why Mega Fat's the only one who can fire him. 316 00:13:49,787 --> 00:13:53,749 I knew if I just kept doing my job the way you told me, you'd come around. 317 00:13:53,832 --> 00:13:55,626 Very good. So nice to see you. 318 00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:58,295 Been a long time. I love chocolate pudding. 319 00:13:58,587 --> 00:13:59,463 What was that? 320 00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:03,884 Oopsie! We mislabeled some of the clips from Mega Fat's voice diary. 321 00:14:03,968 --> 00:14:05,177 We can fix it! Easy! 322 00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:08,305 So easy, I can fix it with my butt! [clicking] 323 00:14:08,597 --> 00:14:11,600 Secrets. Yes! Way to go! 324 00:14:12,017 --> 00:14:14,103 Code phrase. [clicks tongue] I get it. 325 00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:16,438 I also like "pudding." 326 00:14:18,232 --> 00:14:20,568 -[gasps] I didn't rig him for handshakes! -[recording] Up high! 327 00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:23,320 -That's a good thing. Watch. -But not really. I'm important and busy. 328 00:14:23,404 --> 00:14:25,030 Very unprofessional. 329 00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:29,201 Nice. You of anyone would know handshakes are for dogs, sir. 330 00:14:29,451 --> 00:14:31,954 My dogs are barking. Shake on it. 331 00:14:32,204 --> 00:14:33,831 [recording] Never with me, I say. 332 00:14:33,914 --> 00:14:35,833 [Boom Baby] Tell me about it. Can't be too careful, though. 333 00:14:36,083 --> 00:14:39,211 There's a rogue pack of Baby Corp fakers trying to shut me down. 334 00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:40,921 Unreal! Baby Corp? 335 00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:43,340 "Don't pretend with me," I said. I stopped them. 336 00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:44,842 You stopped them? [laughs] 337 00:14:44,925 --> 00:14:47,303 So, we're safe! Good! 338 00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:49,638 'Cause what I've prepared here, it's gonna-- 339 00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:51,140 -[babbling] -Sir? 340 00:14:51,223 --> 00:14:53,559 [gasps] He's starting to talk for himself! 341 00:14:53,642 --> 00:14:55,978 Keep that mouth busy! Peanut butter's running low! 342 00:14:56,270 --> 00:14:57,146 [Tim] On it. 343 00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:00,107 [inhales, puffs] 344 00:15:02,192 --> 00:15:03,444 [babbling] 345 00:15:04,361 --> 00:15:05,446 [smacking] 346 00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:07,990 Shake the chair. Give me some head nodding. 347 00:15:08,073 --> 00:15:08,908 [knuckles crackle] 348 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:12,286 I love it when we share memories. Love you, big guy! 349 00:15:12,536 --> 00:15:15,748 Aha! I see, yes. I hear that. 350 00:15:16,123 --> 00:15:17,708 You've always been a great listener. 351 00:15:17,958 --> 00:15:20,210 Move to phase two. Let him down easy. 352 00:15:20,294 --> 00:15:23,088 Approaching to gentle, friendly proximity. 353 00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:24,965 Good news: good job! 354 00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:26,967 I knew you'd be behind me on this. 355 00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:29,720 Bad news? Ho-ho ho-ho, you're fired! 356 00:15:29,970 --> 00:15:31,263 [laughing] 357 00:15:31,388 --> 00:15:32,848 That's a funny joke, old pal! 358 00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,475 Now, come on, let's trigger this. 359 00:15:34,558 --> 00:15:36,143 [recording] No joking. 360 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:37,978 Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo. Ach! 361 00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:39,855 He's maybe...? Hoo, hoo? 362 00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,690 Ha, ha, ha, ha. You're fired! 363 00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,859 Oh, yes! That is the one! 364 00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:46,570 Score it for me, Mega Fat CEO Baby! 365 00:15:46,862 --> 00:15:48,864 Whoa... so... 366 00:15:49,323 --> 00:15:50,366 this is really happening? 367 00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:52,451 Yes, cowboy in the saddle. 368 00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:55,079 Some luxurious inflatables. Night-night! 369 00:15:55,162 --> 00:15:56,872 -You're the boss. -Yes! 370 00:15:57,414 --> 00:15:58,415 [sighs] 371 00:15:58,999 --> 00:16:00,751 Guess this is the last mission, then. 372 00:16:01,585 --> 00:16:03,712 No! What? He's fired now! Tell him-- 373 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:06,507 Project Boom could never keep up with all the dangers out there. 374 00:16:06,590 --> 00:16:09,677 But that's exactly the solution-- out there. 375 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,470 We just gotta show all the mommies and daddies 376 00:16:11,553 --> 00:16:14,348 how unsafe it is to ever bring their babies outside! 377 00:16:14,431 --> 00:16:16,976 [Boom Baby] I've booby-trapped the entire town square 378 00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:18,686 -with everyday outdoor dangers. -[crying] 379 00:16:18,852 --> 00:16:20,521 -And I'm gonna hit every one! -Ow! 380 00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:22,314 I will cry hard. 381 00:16:22,564 --> 00:16:24,650 Parents will be horrified. -[wailing] 382 00:16:24,733 --> 00:16:26,443 And when the talcum powder settles, 383 00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:28,904 people are gonna swaddle their babies in bubble wrap 384 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:31,907 and never, ever leave the house again! 385 00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:34,535 -[all gasp] -[man] I found it attached to my doorknob. 386 00:16:34,618 --> 00:16:36,453 -[man 2] Yeah! -All right! 387 00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:38,038 Here come our guests. 388 00:16:38,288 --> 00:16:41,291 Are you guys here for the free safety demonstration from Project Boom? 389 00:16:41,375 --> 00:16:43,252 -Oh, of course! We love safety. -[man 3] Yeah! 390 00:16:43,335 --> 00:16:45,921 We need to get Boom to abort this mission, now! 391 00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:47,715 Tim, keep that peanut butter coming. 392 00:16:48,424 --> 00:16:49,341 [inhales] 393 00:16:49,591 --> 00:16:51,927 -Triplets? -Engage, my brothers! 394 00:16:52,177 --> 00:16:53,178 [giggles] 395 00:16:53,262 --> 00:16:56,473 [recording] Tasty readily abject ridicule in as much as dirigible. 396 00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:57,808 Mega Fat? 397 00:16:58,225 --> 00:17:00,185 We're under fire! Get down! 398 00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:01,520 [giggles, murmurs] 399 00:17:01,812 --> 00:17:02,730 Hit him again! 400 00:17:03,939 --> 00:17:05,065 [inhales, coughs] 401 00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:06,650 It went down the wrong pipe! Ulp! 402 00:17:08,652 --> 00:17:09,486 [Mega Fat squeals] 403 00:17:09,653 --> 00:17:10,946 [giggling] 404 00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:13,490 [sniffing] 405 00:17:13,657 --> 00:17:14,742 [Boom Baby] Peanut butter? 406 00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:18,495 [babbling] 407 00:17:18,746 --> 00:17:21,290 -What? -Simmons, get him out of there! 408 00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:23,083 All thrusters to double left! 409 00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:26,086 -[whirring] -[Mega Fat squeals] 410 00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:27,129 [Boss Baby] Ugh! 411 00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:29,131 -[triplets] Whoa! -[thumps] 412 00:17:29,798 --> 00:17:33,677 -[wails] What did they do to you? -[Boss Baby] Stand down, Boom. 413 00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:35,512 Mega Fat wouldn't want this to happen. 414 00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:38,891 You think a faker like you knows Mega Fat better than me? 415 00:17:38,974 --> 00:17:42,019 We had matching tattoos that he was always too busy to show me! 416 00:17:42,102 --> 00:17:43,687 He's changed since you knew him. 417 00:17:43,771 --> 00:17:46,023 He has a mother now. Marsha Krinkle. 418 00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:48,692 The TV reporter! 419 00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:50,402 You're a celebrity baby? 420 00:17:50,694 --> 00:17:52,196 [Boom Baby] That changes everything! 421 00:17:52,279 --> 00:17:54,656 It should be you having all these outside accidents. 422 00:17:54,865 --> 00:17:57,076 People will pay way more attention! 423 00:17:57,367 --> 00:17:58,243 What? No! 424 00:17:58,327 --> 00:18:00,704 Baby want a blocky-block? 425 00:18:00,871 --> 00:18:02,206 [murmurs, giggles] 426 00:18:02,581 --> 00:18:05,709 -I always put the fastener on the cap. -Safety is very important to me. 427 00:18:06,043 --> 00:18:08,295 -What? -Staci, distract the parents. 428 00:18:08,378 --> 00:18:09,880 I'll stop Mega Fat from... 429 00:18:09,963 --> 00:18:12,591 crawling into a pile of sharp, pokey jacks? 430 00:18:12,674 --> 00:18:14,259 This Boom Baby is sick! 431 00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:15,928 Mega Fat, stop! 432 00:18:16,011 --> 00:18:17,554 [Mega Fat babbling] 433 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:21,683 Boom, let's talk about this. Oop! 434 00:18:22,559 --> 00:18:23,477 Nah. 435 00:18:24,394 --> 00:18:25,270 [squeals] 436 00:18:26,396 --> 00:18:27,773 [faint whipping] 437 00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:30,400 [babbling] 438 00:18:30,901 --> 00:18:32,694 -Mega Fat, look out! Agh! -[others gasp] 439 00:18:33,529 --> 00:18:35,489 [Jimbo whimpers, yelps] 440 00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:37,825 [screaming] Ugh! 441 00:18:38,242 --> 00:18:39,576 Oh, my gosh! Baby, are you okay? 442 00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:40,786 [squealing, giggling] 443 00:18:40,869 --> 00:18:42,788 -Come on, let's get you to your-- -[Boom Baby] Yoo-hoo! 444 00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:47,543 -Mm! -[grunts] We can get you... 445 00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:49,419 [groaning] so many more blocks! 446 00:18:49,503 --> 00:18:50,337 Ulp! 447 00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:51,630 Oh-hh! 448 00:18:52,172 --> 00:18:53,173 Oop! [gasps] 449 00:18:54,591 --> 00:18:55,551 [thumping] 450 00:18:57,803 --> 00:19:00,806 Oh, come on! How is this a realistic danger scenario? 451 00:19:00,889 --> 00:19:03,559 What if a baby wandered into a food fight? 452 00:19:03,642 --> 00:19:06,645 -It could happen-- outside. -[Mega Fat babbling] 453 00:19:06,854 --> 00:19:08,856 Ouch! Ooh, coconut! 454 00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:10,691 Turn those things off! Agh! 455 00:19:11,859 --> 00:19:13,318 [Boom Baby] Land sakes! 456 00:19:13,527 --> 00:19:17,614 Everything outside is so terribly unsafe! 457 00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:20,742 Why isn't anyone looking? 458 00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:21,869 [bell jingles] 459 00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:23,829 Safety baby is right. 460 00:19:23,912 --> 00:19:25,873 We should remember to put a helmet on our kids 461 00:19:25,956 --> 00:19:27,958 before they get on a trike. 462 00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:29,501 -Ha-hah! -Oh! 463 00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:31,086 [both grunting] 464 00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:32,337 Ah-hh! 465 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:34,631 [both grunting] 466 00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:36,341 [gasps] 467 00:19:37,759 --> 00:19:40,470 -[both grunting] -Didn't anyone teach you to share? 468 00:19:40,721 --> 00:19:42,222 [giggles] 469 00:19:42,639 --> 00:19:44,766 Sure, they did. Your turn. 470 00:19:44,933 --> 00:19:47,561 -Take the shot, Jimbo! -[grunts] 471 00:19:48,562 --> 00:19:49,563 [tires screech] 472 00:19:53,233 --> 00:19:54,818 Well, I'm sorry! 473 00:19:54,902 --> 00:19:57,654 But this is what happens when you cut dodgeball! 474 00:19:57,738 --> 00:19:59,323 Now we're talking about this?! 475 00:19:59,406 --> 00:20:00,991 We have to save Mega Fat-- oof! 476 00:20:01,074 --> 00:20:04,536 Oh, look who suddenly cares about Mega Fat! 477 00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:08,457 Because I'm pretty sure he was a happy, retired regular baby 478 00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:10,667 before you threw him into this mess! 479 00:20:11,126 --> 00:20:11,960 [bangs] 480 00:20:12,419 --> 00:20:14,755 So, we're not talking about dodgeball? 481 00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:17,507 You make these big, important decisions... 482 00:20:17,674 --> 00:20:18,508 [banging] 483 00:20:18,967 --> 00:20:20,344 and it's like you don't even think about 484 00:20:20,427 --> 00:20:22,971 how it's going to affect anybody but yourself! 485 00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:25,390 That's just... poop! 486 00:20:25,766 --> 00:20:26,600 [thumps] 487 00:20:31,188 --> 00:20:32,105 You're right. 488 00:20:32,981 --> 00:20:35,275 I told myself I was doing this for the good of babies. 489 00:20:35,692 --> 00:20:38,111 Oh. I was actually talking to Boss-- ulp! 490 00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:40,656 Maybe I even meant it. 491 00:20:40,739 --> 00:20:43,700 But when you really think about the babies you care for-- 492 00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:45,786 Mega Fat, don't! 493 00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:47,704 [thumping] 494 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:49,331 -[Jimbo] No! -[Boss Baby] Wait! 495 00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:53,168 [distorted] No-oo! 496 00:20:53,794 --> 00:20:54,711 [grunts] 497 00:20:55,128 --> 00:20:57,506 -[coos] -[Marsha] There's my chubster! 498 00:20:57,798 --> 00:21:02,552 Nothing like a beautiful, safe day in the great outdoors, huh, Chubby Lovey? 499 00:21:03,637 --> 00:21:06,139 -Nice dodging back there. -Thank you. 500 00:21:06,223 --> 00:21:10,018 Technically, this means we won the game, so... um... 501 00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:12,104 Yes, I'll buy you ice cream. 502 00:21:12,187 --> 00:21:13,563 -Yeah! -[groans] 503 00:21:13,647 --> 00:21:14,564 [Jimbo giggling] 504 00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:16,566 [inhales] 505 00:21:17,025 --> 00:21:18,527 Sorry, new boss. 506 00:21:18,694 --> 00:21:22,239 I guess the biggest threat to baby safety was... me. 507 00:21:22,447 --> 00:21:25,742 You kidding? You're the most dedicated safety baby I've ever met. 508 00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:27,828 We could use your experience. 509 00:21:27,911 --> 00:21:31,498 Appreciate that, but a baby's gotta know when it's time to clock out. 510 00:21:31,873 --> 00:21:35,127 -I'm ready for retirement. -If that's what you want. 511 00:21:35,544 --> 00:21:37,170 Just one last favor? 512 00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:38,547 [squeaks] 513 00:21:39,506 --> 00:21:41,800 These test dummies are amazing! 514 00:21:41,883 --> 00:21:43,260 How much heat can they withstand? 515 00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:47,597 -[bangs] -Anything from sunburns to the actual sun. 516 00:21:47,806 --> 00:21:48,974 What do they eat? 517 00:21:49,433 --> 00:21:51,018 Er... they're not real people. 518 00:21:51,184 --> 00:21:53,729 Yet, I feel such a brotherhood with them. 519 00:21:53,979 --> 00:21:55,063 It's on you now. 520 00:21:55,147 --> 00:21:57,649 Promise me you'll keep this world safe for the little guys. 521 00:21:57,733 --> 00:21:58,775 Still not people. 522 00:21:59,401 --> 00:22:01,403 It's weird for me when he humanizes them. 523 00:22:01,486 --> 00:22:03,488 I gotta blow these things up. 524 00:22:03,905 --> 00:22:06,116 All right, Boss, let's do this. 525 00:22:06,241 --> 00:22:07,451 [whirrs] 526 00:22:07,826 --> 00:22:10,329 We've matched you with a family of top scientists. 527 00:22:10,412 --> 00:22:13,874 By the time you grow up, you'll be keeping babies safe with particle physics! 528 00:22:14,082 --> 00:22:16,126 [sniffles] Love it. 529 00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:18,045 It's for Mega Fat. 530 00:22:18,128 --> 00:22:19,629 Tell him I said bye, will ya? 531 00:22:23,175 --> 00:22:24,092 Yo, Boss. 532 00:22:24,176 --> 00:22:27,804 Jimbo said you restored the budget for dodgeball and community theater? 533 00:22:27,888 --> 00:22:30,140 Well, I saw how much it meant to them. 534 00:22:30,223 --> 00:22:34,144 And I found a way to save overhead and justify it as war preparation. 535 00:22:34,227 --> 00:22:35,062 [thumping] 536 00:22:35,145 --> 00:22:39,274 Is this a dodgeball which I see before me-- ugh! 537 00:22:39,483 --> 00:22:42,277 -I love the classics! -[thumps] 538 00:23:05,217 --> 00:23:07,135 Boss Baby