-[boy grunts] -[phone dings]
Hold all my calls.
-[giggling] -[lullaby plays]
♪ Boss Baby ♪
♪ I'm the Boss, Boss Baby, boss, boss Boss Baby, boss, boss ♪
♪ Watch a itty-bitty kid get large ♪
♪ I'm the big Boss Baby in charge ♪
♪ Stroller rolling Up and down the boulevard ♪
♪ I'm the big Boss Baby in charge ♪
♪ I run this house, I rule this crib ♪
♪ Change my diaper, son Where's my bib? ♪
♪ Don't pacify You just got to pay me ♪
-♪ Who's in charge? ♪ -♪ Me, the Boss Baby ♪
[music playing]
[narrator] Children of War!
Our cowardly corporate enemies attacked while our defenses were down.
Unfair play!
But Baby Corp prepares to fight back
the way babies do-- adorably.
All fours! Crawl! Suck thumb!
[narrator] No battle can be won without resources,
so keep donating those office supplies.
Your sacrifices will be difficult,
but every baby must do their part.
Oh, hi. You've caught me making painful but necessary cuts
to Baby Corp's operating budget.
Remember, a penny saved is a penny closer to victory.
-For Baby Corp! -[Staci] My department can't function!
[voices overlapping]
People, this is for the war effort!
We've never faced three enemies simultaneously before.
We all have to be prepared to make sacrifices.
-Boss is right! -Thank you, Chip.
I've been changing my diaper without using baby wipes.
-[all gasp] -And you should, too!
Everyone, quiet!
This doesn't have to get emotional or unhygienic.
It's a straightforward cost-benefit analysis.
You all have copies of the company budget,
so let's just go through this thing line by line,
calmly and rationally.
[all gasp]
Baby Corp Community Theater?
Egads, that's pricey. Easy cut, right?
Objection, if I may.
The skills I learn on the stage apply directly to my work.
Like?
Acting like I'm cool with something when I'm really very angry.
And as you can see, I could use some serious theater rehearsals right now!
I'm sorry, Hendershot.
Maybe you should cut intramural dodgeball instead.
-Look at those expenses. -[Jimbo] No!
Dodgeball develops important skills like...
throwing and not getting hit by stuff!
And when we win games, we get ice cream!
So sorry, my friend.
[sobs]
[Boss Baby] Wow. Hold on.
[whistles] "Project Boom"?
Costing us an arm and a leg. What do we know about this one?
You should cut it to save dodgeball.
Yeah, I agree with that guy!
So, no one's going to whine to me about cutting Project Boom?
Outstanding!
Make it happen.
[pops]
[whizzing]
-[clatters] -Eh...?
[clatters]
[wheels squeaking]
[voice] Finally!
[grunts]
[sighs]
"We thank you for your service, and... Project Boom cancelled"?
What? No! What? Come on!
You serious with this, hoss?
I know it's been a while since my last assignment, but...
It's been a while. You forgot what I can do for the company.
Okay, okay, okay. You just need a reminder of what Project Boom's all about,
and I got a big one I've been holding onto for a moment...
just like this.
[voices overlapping]
[Boom Baby] "Kinderglückseligkeit..."
the finest German engineering money can buy.
But is it really as safe as they say?
-Boom! -[thumps]
-[Baby Boom crying] -[patrons gasping]
Roosevelt! Forks down, we're working!
All right!
Lunch date just got paid for by Channel 8, baby!
You know where to find me.
-[alarm blaring] -[voices yelling]
What happened? Who hit us?
Hang on. Calling it up!
...touted by its makers
as "The safest chair for baby-sized objects."
But is the Kinderglückseligkeit safe for babies?
Take back those filthy words.
We're not ruling out the table as a suspect,
but if it is the chair, that thing's getting recalled.
[gasps] You can't take away our Kinderglückseligkeits!
Where is a baby supposed to sit for a restaurant meal?
Uh, parents' laps?
What are we, napkins?
Parental anxiety levels are through the roof, Beebs!
This is the worst thing to happen since somebody cancelled dodgeball!
-Are we really doing this right now? -I don't wanna talk about it!
This was no accident.
Which of our enemies is capable of such a well-coordinated attack on baby love?
-I need actionable intelligence! -[gasps] Boss?
I think we have an eyewitness.
[giggles]
Yes, I am a baby in a suit.
It's very comical. Now, come on, you know me!
[Staci] Maybe he doesn't anymore.
He's been retired as a normal baby for a long time.
Who knows what he remembers about Baby Corp?
Maybe we should just leave him alone.
It's just conversation.
Hey, there, little prince.
Can you tell me what happened at the restaurant today?
-[babbles] -[clatters]
-Yes, baby did fall down and go boom-boom. -[giggles]
Now, which of these silly willies helped baby go boom-boom?
[babbles]
We know "baby fell go boom-boom." Who else was at the num-num place?
Bark-barks? Baa-baa? Consult- consult?
I get it. You didn't ask to be a witness.
Did they threaten you?
Because I promise, no matter what they said they'd do...
[growls] I can do worse.
Nope, nope, too scary.
Dial it back, dial it back.
-[Mega Fat babbling] -[Jimbo] Uh, Boss?
[babbles]
"Project Boom BFFs for life.
No take-backsies"?
[Boss Baby gasps]
-[giggles] -[blocks clatter]
Hendershot, hit the company archives.
Gather everything Mega Fat had on Project Boom.
I want a full briefing the minute I hit the office!
"Boom Baby: Born to Boom"?
Since you cut Baby Corp Community Theater,
we've got no outlet to showcase our talents.
Dodgeball feels you.
-I don't wanna talk about it! -[moans]
Really just need a file folder with some bullet points and--
No talking during the performance.
[music playing]
Hi! I'm Boom Baby, and I have a special talent!
Whoops! Agh!
I'm falling down an entire flight of stairs,
but it doesn't really bother me because my special talent
is an incredibly high tolerance for pain!
I'm Mega Fat CEO Baby.
I know just how to use your special talent!
I call it "Project Boom."
I am the passage of time.
I will slide down this playground slide.
Too hot!
[mock sobbing] Wah-hh!
I'm a parent.
Let's put a shade over this slide to prevent burned heinies!
This trike's too wobbly!
Wah-hh!
Let's bring it in for a refund!
I'm also a parent.
This is a cactus.
-[thumps] -Ow! Who put a cactus here?
Wah-hh!
I'm the President of Volcano Taming at the space circus!
I can't remember my lines or who my character is,
but I do know I should move this cactus.
You're sure about all this?
It's all straight from Mega Fat's old voice memos.
Dude really loved to hear himself talk.
There's, like, five hours of him just working on lyrics
for the "Ha Ha You're Fired" song.
Hee-hee-ha-ho, you're-- No, no, I can beat that.
Take a baby who doesn't get hurt easily,
use him to expose all the dangerous flaws in baby products.
Hmm. It's actually not a bad idea.
Even a broken European clock is right once a day.
But who told Boom Baby to go after that high chair?
Nobody.
I mean, I'm going improv here, but...
[inhales]
I'm Boom Baby!
I haven't heard from Baby Corp since Mega Fat got fired
and everybody forgot about me!
Wait. What's this letter?
Project Boom is cancelled?
Not if I can help it.
Maybe I'll just make my own baby-proofing projects.
[gasps] He's gone rogue! We need to stop this ASAP.
I want a meeting, in person.
Somebody get a message to Boom.
-[clatters] -[stammers, gasps]
[toddler babbling]
No sign of him, Boss.
He could be plotting an ambush.
We need an emergency code phrase in case things get hairy--
something we can all remember.
I remember dodgeball. Don't wanna talk about it.
Ooh, how about, "Wow, I can't believe this is going so well"?
Copy that, Boss.
Come on, big guy, help me scout the perimeter.
All right, where are you hiding?
Ah-hh! Whew. My back needed this.
Boom Baby?
You're right, it's not a social call. Let's talk business.
So, I'm un-cancelled?
Is that what this is about?
You just torpedoed the world's safest high chair.
Not exactly winning Baby Corp over.
It was too high for a chair.
It's a high chair! [moans]
Look, your former service is appreciated,
but it's time to stand down.
Baby Corp's at war. We don't need another distraction.
And frankly, we have test dummies in the R&D lab
that can do this job without making a public scene.
You can't cancel me, cubicle boy.
I want to talk to the CEO.
Mega Fat's a friend. He'll take the meeting.
[chuckles] Of course!
Oh, Boom Baby, this is all a huge misunderstanding.
You've been out in the field so long, you don't even know.
I'm the CEO. Boss Baby.
So, yes, I do have the authority to cancel Project Boom,
but we'd love to find you some alternative position within the comp--
-Where are you going? -Ha! I knew you weren't Baby Corp.
A handshake? That's for dogs.
Is that who you're working for?
PuppyCo trying to shut down my work?
Am I the only true Baby Corper left?
[yells] Wow, I can't believe this is going so well!
-[screams] -Huh...?
You're coming back to Baby Corp.
Let the airplane land!
[Jimbo] Suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck!
[grunts]
Nice try, but I'm used to spitting out stuff
babies shouldn't have eaten.
You thought a conspiracy of fakers could stop me making this world safe for babies?
All you did was unleash me.
[gasps]
[clatters]
Agh! [yelps]
-Boom, please listen. -That's gonna be hard.
This place is about to get loud.
-[squeals] -[moans]
-[babies wailing] -Do they look safer to you?
They will be, now that I got their attention.
[mother] Oh, sweetie!
[voices overlapping]
No, no, no, no, no!
Boom!
He's good.
This is bad.
[Marsha] What was once a safe haven for mommies to read romance novels
is now shut down and exposed
as a hotbed of baby contusions.
[groans] Another bastion of parental comfort gone belly-up!
What does Boom Baby want?
A world where parents have their babies strapped to them 24-7?
I mean, yeah, probably.
If Boom keeps stressing out parents like this,
we won't have to worry about war with Pyg & Tam, OCB, or PuppyCo.
We won't have any baby love left to lose!
We have to stop him, the way Boss stopped our dodgeball team!
You are really hung up on the dodgeb--
-I said I don't wanna talk about it! -Jimbo, if you won't even talk to me--
I know who Boom Baby will talk to!
And how are we getting Mega Fat Normal Retired Baby to play along?
I'm on it. Just get a fix on Boom Baby's location.
And somebody track down my brother!
[laughing]
[Danny] Oh, I love playing
"Think About If Dinosaurs Had Longer Arms Than Legs."
We should turn it into a game show! We'd be so rich and famous!
Eh, I can go for rich, but probably gotta hold off on getting famous.
My dad was worried enough that time you and me got on the TV news.
-[Tim grunts] -The government watches all the channels,
even the half-channels they can't tell you about in TV school.
Templeton, does the house only have chunky?
Chunky what?
Still working on the settings.
-Is Mega Fat left-handed or-- -Right!
-Right, chunky what? -Listen faster!
-You got it, Boss! -On it!
Listen faster to what? Can I hang up now?
Of course not. This won't work if we don't have you.
These are the coolest glasses I could find.
-Smooth. -We get it, you look cool for a baby.
-No, I need smooth. -We have eyes on Boom!
Just get to the town square. Bring straws and smooth peanut butter!
I gotta go.
What about "Think About If Dinosaurs Had Bigger Arms Than Legs"?
-Play it one-player! -But it doesn't work one-player!
[laughs]
Oh, wait. Yeah, it does. [laughing]
[Baby Boom] All these people, walking around like their babies are safe
when every corner is sharp, every quarter shiny enough to eat.
But we're gonna show them, chief.
After today, it won't matter if they shut down Project Boom.
Today, baby safety takes a flying leap into--
[voice] Hello?
It's me. Nice to see... you.
[gasps] Mega Fat CEO Baby!
I really don't think we should have involved him.
There's zero danger. Boom Baby idolizes Mega Fat.
And that's why Mega Fat's the only one who can fire him.
I knew if I just kept doing my job the way you told me, you'd come around.
Very good. So nice to see you.
Been a long time. I love chocolate pudding.
What was that?
Oopsie! We mislabeled some of the clips from Mega Fat's voice diary.
We can fix it! Easy!
So easy, I can fix it with my butt! [clicking]
Secrets. Yes! Way to go!
Code phrase. [clicks tongue] I get it.
I also like "pudding."
-[gasps] I didn't rig him for handshakes! -[recording] Up high!
-That's a good thing. Watch. -But not really. I'm important and busy.
Very unprofessional.
Nice. You of anyone would know handshakes are for dogs, sir.
My dogs are barking. Shake on it.
[recording] Never with me, I say.
[Boom Baby] Tell me about it. Can't be too careful, though.
There's a rogue pack of Baby Corp fakers trying to shut me down.
Unreal! Baby Corp?
"Don't pretend with me," I said. I stopped them.
You stopped them? [laughs]
So, we're safe! Good!
'Cause what I've prepared here, it's gonna--
-[babbling] -Sir?
[gasps] He's starting to talk for himself!
Keep that mouth busy! Peanut butter's running low!
[Tim] On it.
[inhales, puffs]
[babbling]
[smacking]
Shake the chair. Give me some head nodding.
[knuckles crackle]
I love it when we share memories. Love you, big guy!
Aha! I see, yes. I hear that.
You've always been a great listener.
Move to phase two. Let him down easy.
Approaching to gentle, friendly proximity.
Good news: good job!
I knew you'd be behind me on this.
Bad news? Ho-ho ho-ho, you're fired!
[laughing]
That's a funny joke, old pal!
Now, come on, let's trigger this.
[recording] No joking.
Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo. Ach!
He's maybe...? Hoo, hoo?
Ha, ha, ha, ha. You're fired!
Oh, yes! That is the one!
Score it for me, Mega Fat CEO Baby!
Whoa... so...
this is really happening?
Yes, cowboy in the saddle.
Some luxurious inflatables. Night-night!
-You're the boss. -Yes!
[sighs]
Guess this is the last mission, then.
No! What? He's fired now! Tell him--
Project Boom could never keep up with all the dangers out there.
But that's exactly the solution-- out there.
We just gotta show all the mommies and daddies
how unsafe it is to ever bring their babies outside!
[Boom Baby] I've booby-trapped the entire town square
-with everyday outdoor dangers. -[crying]
-And I'm gonna hit every one! -Ow!
I will cry hard.
Parents will be horrified. -[wailing]
And when the talcum powder settles,
people are gonna swaddle their babies in bubble wrap
and never, ever leave the house again!
-[all gasp] -[man] I found it attached to my doorknob.
-[man 2] Yeah! -All right!
Here come our guests.
Are you guys here for the free safety demonstration from Project Boom?
-Oh, of course! We love safety. -[man 3] Yeah!
We need to get Boom to abort this mission, now!
Tim, keep that peanut butter coming.
[inhales]
-Triplets? -Engage, my brothers!
[giggles]
[recording] Tasty readily abject ridicule in as much as dirigible.
Mega Fat?
We're under fire! Get down!
[giggles, murmurs]
Hit him again!
[inhales, coughs]
It went down the wrong pipe! Ulp!
[Mega Fat squeals]
[giggling]
[sniffing]
[Boom Baby] Peanut butter?
[babbling]
-What? -Simmons, get him out of there!
All thrusters to double left!
-[whirring] -[Mega Fat squeals]
[Boss Baby] Ugh!
-[triplets] Whoa! -[thumps]
-[wails] What did they do to you? -[Boss Baby] Stand down, Boom.
Mega Fat wouldn't want this to happen.
You think a faker like you knows Mega Fat better than me?
We had matching tattoos that he was always too busy to show me!
He's changed since you knew him.
He has a mother now. Marsha Krinkle.
The TV reporter!
You're a celebrity baby?
[Boom Baby] That changes everything!
It should be you having all these outside accidents.
People will pay way more attention!
What? No!
Baby want a blocky-block?
[murmurs, giggles]
-I always put the fastener on the cap. -Safety is very important to me.
-What? -Staci, distract the parents.
I'll stop Mega Fat from...
crawling into a pile of sharp, pokey jacks?
This Boom Baby is sick!
Mega Fat, stop!
[Mega Fat babbling]
Boom, let's talk about this. Oop!
Nah.
[squeals]
[faint whipping]
[babbling]
-Mega Fat, look out! Agh! -[others gasp]
[Jimbo whimpers, yelps]
[screaming] Ugh!
Oh, my gosh! Baby, are you okay?
[squealing, giggling]
-Come on, let's get you to your-- -[Boom Baby] Yoo-hoo!
-Mm! -[grunts] We can get you...
[groaning] so many more blocks!
Ulp!
Oh-hh!
Oop! [gasps]
[thumping]
Oh, come on! How is this a realistic danger scenario?
What if a baby wandered into a food fight?
-It could happen-- outside. -[Mega Fat babbling]
Ouch! Ooh, coconut!
Turn those things off! Agh!
[Boom Baby] Land sakes!
Everything outside is so terribly unsafe!
Why isn't anyone looking?
[bell jingles]
Safety baby is right.
We should remember to put a helmet on our kids
before they get on a trike.
-Ha-hah! -Oh!
[both grunting]
Ah-hh!
[both grunting]
[gasps]
-[both grunting] -Didn't anyone teach you to share?
[giggles]
Sure, they did. Your turn.
-Take the shot, Jimbo! -[grunts]
[tires screech]
Well, I'm sorry!
But this is what happens when you cut dodgeball!
Now we're talking about this?!
We have to save Mega Fat-- oof!
Oh, look who suddenly cares about Mega Fat!
Because I'm pretty sure he was a happy, retired regular baby
before you threw him into this mess!
[bangs]
So, we're not talking about dodgeball?
You make these big, important decisions...
[banging]
and it's like you don't even think about
how it's going to affect anybody but yourself!
That's just... poop!
[thumps]
You're right.
I told myself I was doing this for the good of babies.
Oh. I was actually talking to Boss-- ulp!
Maybe I even meant it.
But when you really think about the babies you care for--
Mega Fat, don't!
[thumping]
-[Jimbo] No! -[Boss Baby] Wait!
[distorted] No-oo!
[grunts]
-[coos] -[Marsha] There's my chubster!
Nothing like a beautiful, safe day in the great outdoors, huh, Chubby Lovey?
-Nice dodging back there. -Thank you.
Technically, this means we won the game, so... um...
Yes, I'll buy you ice cream.
-Yeah! -[groans]
[Jimbo giggling]
[inhales]
Sorry, new boss.
I guess the biggest threat to baby safety was... me.
You kidding? You're the most dedicated safety baby I've ever met.
We could use your experience.
Appreciate that, but a baby's gotta know when it's time to clock out.
-I'm ready for retirement. -If that's what you want.
Just one last favor?
[squeaks]
These test dummies are amazing!
How much heat can they withstand?
-[bangs] -Anything from sunburns to the actual sun.
What do they eat?
Er... they're not real people.
Yet, I feel such a brotherhood with them.
It's on you now.
Promise me you'll keep this world safe for the little guys.
Still not people.
It's weird for me when he humanizes them.
I gotta blow these things up.
All right, Boss, let's do this.
[whirrs]
We've matched you with a family of top scientists.
By the time you grow up, you'll be keeping babies safe with particle physics!
[sniffles] Love it.
It's for Mega Fat.
Tell him I said bye, will ya?
Yo, Boss.
Jimbo said you restored the budget for dodgeball and community theater?
Well, I saw how much it meant to them.
And I found a way to save overhead and justify it as war preparation.
[thumping]
Is this a dodgeball which I see before me-- ugh!
-I love the classics! -[thumps]
Boss Baby