- ♪ Snap, snap, snap, I need another one ♪
♪ Another one ♪
♪ Snap, snap, snap, I need another one ♪
- So we're gonna do some exercises today
where we're gonna learn about ourselves,
we're gonna learn about love,
we're gonna learn about intimacy.
- He's super spiritual, and I feel like
he's really going to make us all better in the bedroom.
- I got a question. - Yes.
- What does the "BS" stand for on your shirt?
- [chuckles] This is a spiritual symbol.
It's not "BS." - Oh, I that it said "BS."
- [chuckles] No.
- What's it mean? - I don't know.
- Oh, my God, this is gonna be such a [bleep] show.
Chris and Angelina think it's just about them,
when it's, like, a group activity.
And Chris isn't having it.
- What I do is I support people through coaching.
I do it through tantra massage.
And I also do it through exercises
like we're gonna do today in this workshop.
So I mentioned something called tantra.
Does anyone know what tantra is?
- Sex? - Oh, my God, is that a club?
- Let's go! - Busted!
- It's hard to be this fresh. - Yeah.
- We went there on Mondays. - [chuckles]
- We went to Tantra on Mondays.
- Different parts of your body. - Is that like a mantra?
- To me, it's self-acceptance, self-love,
connection, and presence.
So we're gonna do one exercise that's in a tantric realm.
A lot of times we're just touching people,
and maybe we're not even asking,
or we don't know how our partner
or people that we're touching actually enjoy it.
- I know this guy is going to hone in on me and Chris.
I'm waiting for it.
It's coming, people.
It's coming.
- So I'd love to ask
Deena and Chris... - Oh, my God.
- To come on up to the center...
- Yeah! - And practice this exercise.
- This is exactly what you didn't want.
- It's your party!
- I know that Chris and Deena are kind of, like, low-key
closet freaks up in the Buckner house.
Like, I know that-- I know that...
the Bucks [bleep].
[laughs]
- First of all, before you touch someone,
it's really good to come into your own presence,
to maybe rub your hands together,
feel your own energy...
- [exhales onto hands] [both laugh]
- And let go of anything
that doesn't serve you right now.
So one of you can choose to receive first.
- [chuckles] - You do like receiving first.
- Oral!
- Hold your hands above wherever you want on the body.
But you're gonna hold your hands above,
and you're gonna experience receiving this touch.
Do you feel the subtleties of energy?
And you can communicate if it's something you like,
you don't like, faster, slower.
- It is nice.
- It's like I'm [bleep] my arm.
- [laughs]
[upbeat music]
- Wait, Vinny's doing it on himself.
♪ ♪
- Oh, my God, he's so embarrassing.
Like, Vinny, please stop.
- The next type of touch is grounding touch.
It's touch that's really helps people feel safe and secure.
- Oh, you like this. - I like that.
- We like this a lot.
I feel like I'm on, like, a couples' retreat.
I already feel more comfortable, more erotic,
and I'm ready to be with my husband.
- Does any other couple want to do an activity?
- Okay.
- They call that doing the hibbity dibbity.
- Ay! - Ay!
- Yeah, Mike.
- Many times in sex, we think we have to have an orgasm.
What if, in that moment,
you're meant to simply love each other, nurture each other?
- I mean, this is definitely, like, awkward as [bleep].
Mike's, like, hugging her,
like he's gonna eat her or something.
I feel like I'm watching, like, a "Donkey Kong" video game.
[video game sound effects]
[laughs]
- We haven't seen anything from you guys.
all: Ooh. - Us?
- They like to choke each other.
24 is--like, has his hand wrapped around her throat,
whispering [bleep] in her ear.
It reminds me of "American Psycho."
- I think you should bring them in the circle.
- Yeah.
- Jenni and Zack, please. - All right.
- Wait, what position am I getting in now?
[laughter]
- For this experience,
we're gonna combine a few of the things that we did.
- Oh, damn.
- I'd like you guys to look into each other's eyes,
but remember, we're gazing.
Then I want you to breathe deep in through your nose...
- I'm jealous. - Filling up your belly.
- I'm right here, boo. I love you.
- Letting the air out of your mouth.
I'm gonna prompt you with this:
"The gift I see in you is..."
♪ ♪
- The gift I see in you is...
you complete me.
♪ ♪
I don't say "thank you" enough
for all the things that you do for me and the children.
Thank you.
- I see in you my best friend.
You've accepted me in every aspect of your life.
I love you. - I love you.
- I'm hysterical. - [laughing] Oh!
- Oh, my God, Zack's gonna cry.
- [laughing]
- I can't breathe. - Oh, honey!
- I can't breathe. - Nicole!
- I'm just, like, homesick a little bit.
I miss Jionni.
- [laughs]
- Aw!
- Everyone has their significant other,
and these are the moments where I'm like,
"Oh, I wish Jionni was here,
'cause this would be great for us."
Aw. [applause]
- Yay! - I love you too.
- I love you so much. I'm so happy for you.
- We're gonna go to our next exercise.
I love to pick a couple that's been together the longest.
- I think that would these two.
- Pauly and Vinny. all: Ooh!
- What the hell?
- Excuse me, babe. I got work to do.
- I didn't know I was gonna be able to play today.
- And handsome. - I'm dead.
- Can I ask you guys anything about your relationship?
What's your story? - We met 13 years ago.
- Yeah, it was love at first fist pump.
both: Fist bump, push up, Chapstick!
Fist bump, push up, Chapstick!
- Before I saw him, I said, "I don't like the guys
that have tans and blow-outs and big muscles."
- Yo, I look like them guidos on TV that be trying too hard.
- And then I saw him, and I'm like,
"Oh, my God, like, there he is.
There's the opposite of what I usually like."
Yo, yo, yo.
- First thing I see is a spiky-hair guido kid,
and I'm like, this kid's perfect.
- It's not very conventional. - Yeah.
- But sometimes love isn't conventional.
- Yeah. - You know what I'm saying?
He's not even my type.
- All right, so we're gonna do an eye-gazing exercise.
And this is one of the most popular exercises
in the world of tantra,
and that's because it's one of the most powerful.
- Mm. - [laughs]
- So if you would both look into each other's left eye.
If you want, if you're open to it,
you can put your hand in the center
of the other person's chest, on their heart chakra.
And now you can put your hand on their hand.
♪ ♪
- This is the best day of my life.
- Okay, Vinny, your time's up.
- And when you're ready-- - Oh!
- This is my life. - See what I gotta deal with?
- This is my life.
- There's definitely a jealousy issue here.
- You felt that, right? - This is my life.
- Yeah, that was hard. That was hard.
- You felt that. - Your time's up.
- That's how strong our love is.
- That is.
- She wouldn't be threatened if it wasn't that strong.
- She felt that.
- What's the number one thing
that, if it's not working, the relationship isn't working?
- Sex.
- Sex is usually a symptom of communication
or something else not working,
so we're gonna do an exercise on communication,
and I'd love to have Angelina and Chris
come up to do this exercise.
all: Whoo!
- [bleep] my life. I knew this guy was gonna come at us.
Like, I knew we were gonna have to do something.
- Yeah, Ang.
- Don't forget to lick the booty.
- That's what I'm saying. [chuckles]
- You guys can sit facing each other.
- Eat his [bleep].
- [chuckling] Shut up.
- Shut up, dick.
- How many people here
often don't feel heard when they're speaking?
They get interrupted?
So in this experience,
we're gonna do some active listening about emotion.
"How do you feel?
"I feel this way when this happens.
I feel this way when this happens."
And be in that.
And Chris, you just get to listen.
You don't respond... - Oh, I do it?
- You don't have to say anything.
You just get to listen
and turn off the part of your mind
that wants to defend yourself or respond.
And you're gonna come back and say what you heard her say.
"I hear that you feel X, Y, Z."
- Angeliners and Chris
definitely look uncomfortable right now
just doing normal communication.
But this is just what they need, to be honest.
- I feel, like, pissed off when you're lazy as [bleep].
- When he does what, though? Not lazy. What is he doing?
- When you don't listen to me. - Okay, there you go.
Perfect. Anything else?
You can keep going if you have anything else.
- I feel sometimes you don't take accountability
for your actions.
- How does that make you feel?
- That pisses me off.
- Anything else you want to share?
- I've had a lot of abandonment in my life,
and I feel like you left for two months.
That's, like, a big thing for me,
especially 'cause of my father.
I'm having a [bleep] nervous breakdown here.
Abandonment issues is a big thing for me.
My father, he, like, abandoned me when I was a kid.
You came back.
But for all those years you did stay, so you came back,
and now we're trying to work on our marriage.
- What made you fall in love with him?
- The fact that, like, you are my best friend.
You are very happy-go-lucky.
You look at life with, like-- - That's nice.
- You look at life like the glass is half-full.
You know, I look at life a little bit
like a Debbie Downer,
and you kind of lift me up from that.
You know what I mean?
- That's beautiful. - Oh, I love that.
all: Aww.
- Chris and Angeliners, they were so adamant
about not doing this sex therapist activity.
But they're the ones that benefit from it the most.
They get in their own way sometimes,
and a lot of the time, us as a squad,
we're kind of, like, pushing them towards success.
♪ ♪
- I got goosebumps.
- I truly do think Chris loves Angelina,
so I feel like this is a good cleanse for him.
Maybe it's a good redo, start anew, like,
something where they can go on the up-and-up
and, like, really work on their resentment
and their love for each other.
- Chris, are you ready to respond?
- I heard that you don't like
when I don't take accountability for my mistakes,
and I can be lazy at times.
But you do like how caring I am.
I did leave for two months,
but then I realized how much I do love you,
and I want to work on the marriage.
Came back, and we're still working.
- I just feel like you can't--
- Every day is a work in progress.
- Yes, but I just feel like you can never do that again,
because I can't handle that.
- Chris, I think it's your turn now to share from your heart.
- ♪ Met you at the right time ♪
- I don't like that you don't put me first.
That you put your friends, family,
and everyone else first instead of me.
- Mm.
- When I tell you things that I like,
you still just disregard it and do the opposite anyway.
I guess that's it for the negatives,
but I don't know.
You know I love you, and that's why--
I think you're funny. You make me laugh all the time.
- ♪ Met you at the right time ♪
- That's beautiful.
- ♪ This is what it feels like ♪
♪ I would do it every moment ♪
- Oh, my God.
both: Welcome to "The Meatball Show"!
- Whoo!
- Step aside, Oprah, because the meatballs--
- Get out of the way!
- Because the meatballs are here to do a show.
- I'ma write Mike a note and slide it under the door.
- Oh, Lord. - Look at that.
- Honey. - What?
- We got a situation.
- ♪ Remember starting out with the crash on the couch days ♪
♪ Now there's no way out of our house ♪
♪ ♪
- I don't know.
You know, I love you, and that's why--
I think you're funny. You make me laugh all the time.
And, you know--
- That's beautiful. - Oh, my God.
I'm not crying, you are.
[laughter] - [sniffles]
- You guys needed this. - They're making me cry.
Kiss him. Hug him. - Stop.
- Come on, Chris.
All right, maybe he really does love me.
It's nice to see emotion.
I haven't seen emotion from Chris in a while.
- ♪ I'll do whatever it takes ♪
♪ For us to keep loving this way ♪
♪ I'm falling even to the feeling ♪
- You see this love that they have for each other,
and I feel like they really needed that.
And Chris didn't even want to do it in the first place.
So see?
- I don't ever cry, ever.
- This is what I wanted.
You guys to open up and really, like, talk to each other.
I feel like there is something there that is worth rekindling.
- ♪ You're all I ever needed ♪ [both chuckle]
- I think Chris, the poor kid, is crying because
he hasn't gotten laid in like two years.
I would [bleep] cry.
- Did it get awkward over here?
- No! This is beautiful!
Y'all should have done this a long time ago.
- You guys really--
- Y'all should have done this-- great job, guys.
- That was amazing. [applause]
- I don't ever cry, really. Thank you. That was amazing.
- You guys want to give each other a hug?
- So I'd like to close out
saying one word about how they feel.
- I feel heard. all: Oh!
- Damn!
- I want to be positive here.
That breakthrough with the sex therapist
worked out pretty well.
But the deadline is tomorrow.
- This is the time to figure out,
is it together you're gonna grow and change?
- Yeah. - Or is it separate?
So I think you have to have, like, a deadline.
♪ ♪
- So here I am.
- No, everything was amazing.
Thank you for coming.
- Yes. We thought it was gonna be something else.
- Thank you so much.
- It's definitely not what I thought it was gonna be.
- We were gonna flip out, but. - Namaste, friends.
- Jersey in the building! Jersey in the building!
- Jersey! Guess who's banging tonight?
- [spits and coughs]
- You okay? - Are you all right?
- I tried to swallow it, and I couldn't.
- That's what she said.
[laughter] - Oh, my God.
- Such a dick, Vin. You are such a dick.
- Deener, amazing job organizing all this.
- Oh, thanks. - Nice job.
- I definitely feel like I made up for dead body day
with the mansion boat day, and I killed it as usual.
- Oh, my God.
- Okay, so we have to dance. We have to rage.
- Whoo! - Come on, bitch!
- Whoo! - Come on, Vinny!
Whoo!
[upbeat music]
Let's go! Let's go! - Oh, my God!
both: Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot!
- Cheers! [overlapping chatter]
- Everyone, get up! Hey!
Last song then we're leaving!
♪ ♪
- ♪ P-A-R-T-Y ♪ - Yes, bitch!
♪ ♪
♪ P-A-R-T-Y ♪
♪ ♪
- All right,
I hope everybody had a [bleep] good time tonight!
[all cheering]
Let's bring it to the hotel, bitches!
- Let's go!
- Overall, I feel like this mansion boat
was a success, having so much fun.
And now let's go back to the hotel and keep drinking.
- And everyone's getting [bleep] tonight.
- Yeah! - Whoo!
- And if we ain't gonna get [bleep],
I'm gonna [bleep] [bleep] all you [bleep] in the ass.
- Oh! - [bleep] up, [bleep] up!
That's my wife, everybody!
both: Welcome to "The Meatball Show"!
- Whoo!
- My brain cells are just leaving my body,
like, intentionally.
- Yeah, I've never had a stinky.
- I'm not saying I have a stinky.
I'm saying that--
- What is happening?
- You're alone. Come on. Let's go downstairs.
- I have to piss so bad.
I'm gonna pee off the side of the boat.
- Thank you. - Thank you.
- We going on the bus.
- Once we get on there, we gotta be lit.
- Ask him if he has Bluetooth.
- Does he have-- do you have Bluetooth?
- Can we have a stripper pole? - We can dance back here.
- Come on, guys. Don't do this.
It's a [bleep] 45-minute drive.
- We don't care who's sleeping on this bus.
We don't care if grandmas need to go to bed.
We are going on this bus right now,
and we are turning the [bleep] up.
♪ ♪
- She thinks she's in VIP. I can't.
[overlapping chatter]
- Don't stop it!
You're welcome, babe. I am a DJ.
- Us moms don't go out. This is my [bleep] party.
- Louder!
- Turn it louder, turn it louder.
- Yes! This is like the most fun I've had in, like, months.
- [indistinct] really had a good time.
Oh, this is so nice.
- Oh, I love this smell!
- Food here?
- Yeah, right there. - Let's eat.
- I just want to get [bleep] up.
- After a long day of turning up,
it's time to mangia, guys.
Oh, my God. - Don't touch my cookies, man.
- Yo, is that pizookie cake? - Yep.
- Yeah, I'm going bucatinis.
Caesar, Caesar, Caesar, Caesar. Grab a pizza.
Yeah, I got key lime. And tiramisus.
Listen, just in case, we got everything. Let's go.
- All right, let's go get [bleep] up now.
Yeah, I want to dance.
[music slows down and stops]
- Oh, my God.
[soft upbeat music]
- She asleep?
- Did Nicole pass out? - Yeah.
- Some things will never change.
♪ ♪
- Where's my Snookie? - Oh, my God.
- Nicole! - [laughing]
- Meatball down.
- Hey guys! - Huddle up, huddle up.
- I just want to say I had an amazing time.
It was really dope that we could make this happen.
- Thanks for celebrating my birthday on that yacht.
I appreciate it.
- Mike, I know why you didn't pick him as the godfather.
Salty bae. Very salty boy.
- we're gonna go pack.
- Group hug? - Yeah.
- Group hug it is.
- That is a wrap for DJ Pauly D.
This was lit.
I love coming here this time of year!
Bye, Nicole. [chuckles]
- Nic. Wake her up.
- Oh, what a day.
- Today was a great day.
♪ ♪
Oh, God.
Nicole, you just dropped all the [bleep]
fettuccine Alfredo on the floor.
- [laughing] You guys are a [bleep] mess right now.
- Did you eat that off the floor?
- No, she took it off my leg. - Oh, my God.
- This is our moment, D.
Me and D really want to do a "Meatball Show."
- This is our "Meatball Show" live? Really?
- We want to do "Meatball Show."
- Really? This is the time? - Yes.
- On Instagram. - Remember quarantine?
When we were all dying?
- And we were like--
- Yes, we did a "Meatball Show" during quarantine.
- I [bleep] hate working out.
Why would I [bleep] work out now?
I [bleep] hate it. [laughter]
- And we were like, "You know what?"
- And they loved it.
- We really want to bring a smile to everyone's face.
- 'Cause that's what we do. - Yes.
We just got a riveting question.
"Snookie, are you drunk?"
- She's on her second bottle, bitch.
She's [bleep] wasted.
We literally are...
- Fun. - So in sync.
We are so fun.
- Spider. - And--
both: Spider.
- And our first guest we would love to have--Angeliners.
- Angeliners. - Angeliners.
- Oh.
I feel like the meatballs are like my children.
- [screaming]
- Oh, no! - [screaming]
- They will run me into the ground, outrun me,
and stay up six hours past, like, my bedtime.
- All right, guys. - Love you.
- Got fettuccine Alfredo all over her foot.
- Clean her shoe off.
Got fettuccine Alfredo all over it.
- I want to dance.
- Feel like what I want to do for "The Meatball Show"
is, Chris, I want you to make me a she shed.
- A she shed! - [laughs]
- I got to see a good enough show.
- Fine. - If you guys bomb right now,
there's no point in making a set.
- Way--way to--way to go! - Oh, [bleep]!
- It's all riding on you guys. - Chris, can you film it?
- Yep. We're back in three, two, one.
- Welcome to "The Meatball Show."
I'm your host, Snooks. And we have Deeners here also.
- I don't like it! - [laughs]
- You're thinking too much into it.
- Drunk meatballs interviewing people?
- Wait for me. - Sit down!
- Wait for me!
- Sounds like the ratings are gonna kill.
- All right, we're gonna walk into it.
This is our main camera, right here. All right.
- Okay, ready. - Ready?
Five, six, seven, eight.
both: Welcome to "The Meatball Show"!
- Whoo!
Step aside, Oprah, because the meatballs--
- Get out of the way, bitch!
- Because the meatballs are here to do a show.
- Wait, give us the wine. - Stop!
And our first guest... both: Angeliners.
- We always have guests that are promoting stuff.
- Here's the plug.
- I'm coming out with vagina spray.
[bell rings]
- Okay, okay. - What is--what is that about?
- So you just spray it, and then it's just there?
- Yeah, so you don't [bleep] have chafing.
- Chafing? We're not men.
- I never have that. - We don't have [bleep] balls.
Chafing.
- My brain cells are just leaving my body,
like, intentionally.
- You don't know what the [bleep]--
- No, I know what chafing is, but I never experienced.
- Same. - How?
- I never have. - 'Cause it's balls.
- That's [bleep]. - I've never had a stinky.
- I'm not saying I have a stinky.
I'm saying-- - What is happening?
- I'm preventing the stinky.
- [laughing]
- It's preventative. - Yes, yes.
- This is [bleep] preventative, people.
- All right, we're gonna take a commercial break.
Thank you so much. - Yes. Thank you.
- We will be right back with "The Meatball Show."
- [bleep], [bleep]. - Thank you.
- Put the cameras down. Cameras down, cameras down.
- Yeah. And then pretend we're talking. Ready?
[inaudible]
- That was good. [laughter]
[upbeat music]
- A lot of people actually want to know--
[laughter]
Oh, my God.
♪ ♪
- Oh, my God. They're still going, honey.
- Yo, that was-- that was hysterical.
- It was terrible?
- No, hysterical. - Oh.
- All right, love you guys.
- Love you. - Love you.
- That was trash. - Goodnight.
- What's up, bro?
- Bro, we already said bye to you.
- Can't believe you guys are leaving me.
- I [bleep] have fettuccine on my [bleep] fingers, bruh.
- Gonna be a throuple with Chris and Deena.
- Chris and Angelina.
How you gonna leave me with these crazy people?
- We're back in three, two, one.
- Not now!
- So happy to have you guys here.
We are going to open up-- - Welcome back.
- "Welcome back" you want me to say?
- No, I just said welcome back. - All right.
- Yeah. You go. - Welcome back.
I feel like "The Meatball Show" is like...
- Angeliners!
- Wake up to "The Meatball Show"!
- Bitch, get up.
- Staring at a car accident or something going on
on the side of the [bleep] highway.
- You dropped more wine than you drank.
- When I talk, I like to talk.
- I know. You gotta--you gotta, like,
put a lid on that thing or just drink it.
- Look, I look like I'm bleeding.
That is what you're doing on my leg.
- And everyone's, like, just driving like an asshole.
- All right, no, wait, this is our camera.
- All right.
- People love to watch car crashes.
- Oh, my God. - Embarrassing.
- We want to hear some questions from our bitches.
- A fan's calling. - Hello?
- Hi, meatballs.
- Put it in speaker, put it on speaker.
- Hi, meatballs. both: Hi.
- Hi. My name's Patricia.
What does it take to be a true meatball?
- Oh. - Listen, honey.
To be a true meatball, you have to be confident with yourself.
[all screaming]
♪ ♪
- And always just have a good time.
Oh, a good time. [laughs]
[all screaming]
- Whoo!
- We're embarrassing. - Yes.
- No matter what, you just have to fricking
look at the glass half-full.
- One, two, three, go. Oh!
[ice clattering]
- Love that. - We are going to toast.
And we are going to do this...
- Oh, [bleep]. - All together.
- Oh, God.
- Just pay us in wine. - [bleep].
- Wine!
- Drinks on drinks!
And we're gonna be [bleep] up,
and you're gonna like what you see.
We will see you next Friday.
- And don't forget, weed whack that [bleep].
- And then-- and then pretend to talk.
[inaudible]
♪ ♪
- [laughs]
♪ ♪
- I think we did great.
- This is really gonna happen. Like, [bleep] this [bleep].
We keep talking about it.
♪ ♪
- Masturbate. [laughter]
- No.
♪ ♪
[snorts] - I can't.
♪ ♪
- And that's a wrap on "The Meatball Show"!
- Yes! All right, everybody, shoulder down.
- Let's go. - Goodnight. So long.
I got mad wine all over me.
- I feel like today was perfect.
♪ ♪
- I don't know what's happening.
I don't know where I am.
But I know that we're in the tropical waters.
So we're in a pool.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- Chris and I, tonight,
have made a little bit of a breakthrough.
- How long can you look in my eyes without laughing?
Can you see through my soul?
- So if I laugh first, I lose? - Mm-hmm.
- One, two, three.
It's reassuring that I know he loves me.
- ♪ I'll be your keeper ♪
♪ When the nights are long ♪
- I feel like Chris and I have such a great bond.
He is one of my best friends.
I also do feel like Chris and I have a lot of similarities.
♪ ♪
- ♪ When the world is heartless ♪
♪ And you're in the darkness ♪
♪ Fall in love and light it up ♪
- [farts] - [laughs]
- I win. - [laughing hysterically]
- ♪ Can light it up ♪
- ♪ One, two, show 'em what you got ♪
- I'm swimming.
- ♪ I'ma drop it like it's hot ♪
- I'm having a great time here.
Thank you for the tropical seas.
And I will see you tomorrow.
Mwah.
♪ ♪
- Now, back on tour, 'cause a DJ's work is never done.
Florida Keys, that is a wrap.
Yes, sir!
Florida Keys, that is a wrap!
Bye, guys. Yeah, buddy!
[siren whoops]
- [groans]
♪ ♪
- Leave me here to rot.
♪ ♪
- Pauly? Pauly, I miss you.
Still smells like your musk.
[sighs]
Side chicks always get left behind.
- I fell asleep in my makeup. - I know.
- Why do I always do that?
- I feel like we haven't gotten drunk like that
in, like, years.
Literally.
I'm definitely feeling it today.
But "The Meatball Show" was a success.
And I feel like we should really do it
in real life, and that's it.
- [yawns]
I'm not yawning at "The Meatball Show."
I'm yawning 'cause I'm tired. - [chuckles]
- It was a late night.
- What are we doing? - Breakfast, I guess?
It's really [bleep] out.
- Big storm last night.
Good thing we weren't on the boat.
- [vocalizing mockingly]
Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!
♪ ♪
- Yesterday was fun. - Yeah.
It was ironic that we were beating up the beat
and living our best life,
and the next thing you know it, we got counseling.
- It was needed. - It was needed.
♪ ♪
- [grunting] - [laughing]
- Tap out, tap out, tap out.
Oh, he just tooted!
- ♪ Love that once was old is new again ♪
- Stop. - Shaking the booty down.
- You shake it one more time, I'm grounding you
and sending you to Catholic school.
- No!
♪ ♪
- Um, all right, honey,
I'm gonna go change for the day.
- Okay. - One of our last days.
The [bleep] is that?
[quirky upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- I don't want to know. - Uh, honey.
- What? - We got a situation.
- ♪ Here we come, 'bout to start up again ♪
♪ ♪
- Pauly left us a note, honey. - I don't want to see it.
- Uh, this family just loves notes.
Notes are just the gift that keeps on giving.
Um, it says--
♪ ♪
- What a good trip.
We did a lot of stuff in such a short period of time.
- Killed it. I know. - Deena pranked us.
- [chuckling] Deena pranked us.
- But I'm not leaving empty-handed.
Mess some [bleep] up, you know what I'm saying?
So Deena did do a great prank on this trip.
But I have a prank for them as well.
So Mike was being a...
- Instigator. - The Observation.
- Oh, The Observation. - The Instigation about some
indiscrepancies in Angelina and Chris and stuff like that.
- Uh-oh.
- If anyone knows Mike, it's me. That's my godson.
And I know he's gonna keep obsessing about
how the details of Angelina's sex story just don't add up.
- What was the position that you actually picked?
- Oh, my God, he's going at it.
- Oh, we're not [bleep] doing that.
- If I had to guess what position,
it was the lazy side booty.
When I asked again,
I immediately said lazy side booty, and she said no.
So there's another inconsistency.
- The plot just thickens.
- Maybe we need to continue observing.
- Oh! Oh! The Observation.
- I think it's teetering between The Instigation
and The Observation. [laughter]
- I don't think I believe her. Did they have sex?
I'm estimating no. I'm not buying it.
- Mike won't shut up.
He will not sleep until he gets to the bottom of this.
- I actually don't know if there's a way
that we can ever really, truly find the truth in this.
- Here's what we do. A lie detector test.
- Oh, my God. Yeah.
- Told him I have the contact for a lie detector guy.
- Oh, Lord.
- So he can ask them whatever they want.
I'ma write Mike a note and slide it under his door.
- Okay.
- Mike is the right one to leave this mission with.
I booked a lie detector. He's on the way.
Knowing Mike,
he's gonna drive himself crazy how he's gonna do the reveal.
I'm gonna put it under his door.
- Okay. I wasn't a part of this.
- Neither were we.
I'm leaving. I have a gig.
So this is gonna be a good prank on Mike,
and we are out of here.
[laughs]
So "Hey, Mike.
"I booked a lie detector. he's on the way.
"He knows to ask for you, The Investigation.
Good luck. Your boy..."
[video tape warbling]
- "Good luck, your boy and godfather,
DJ Pauly D."
Uh.
This right here is a doozer.
It seems that the prank war champion has a parting gift.
I have to delicately present this prank,
or else people are gonna get real upset.
- I'm out. - Okay.
And then this vacation is gonna end on a bad note.
We don't want that.
- Are you hungry again? - I'm starving. You hear that?
- Yeah. - Starving.
- Jesus. How much do you eat?
- What?
- There's something. You have a pimple.
Can I pop it?
♪ ♪
- Smart, pretty, and funny.
You know that, right?
- [bleep].
- I can't believe it's raining here, like,
again and again and again.
- Look at this bruise.
- Oh, it's [bleep] saddening. - Yeah.
- It's pretty big. - Oh, wow. That's a big one.
- Oh, damn. You guys was banging last night?
- That's from the jet skis. - Oh.
- I kept feeling when I was standing on the thing.
- Maybe that was from
the dry humping on the dancefloor. You never know.
- Yeah, you ripped my hair out of my head, you asshole.
- I'm proud of you guys, too. Yesterday? That was a--
- I kept falling.
- That was a great breakthrough yesterday, you know?
- No, yeah.
- And that's how it's supposed to be, you know?
So I'm really proud of you guys.
- Thank you. - Thank you.
- Good job. Good job.
- Thanks, Mike. [grunts] - Good job.
- Instead of, like, all the roomies, like,
being a little bit negative
about my relationship with Chris,
it's nice to see somebody
looking at the glass half-full, you know what I'm saying?
Like, just positive.
- You guys have really showed up, you know what I mean?
and everyone has embraced you guys, as we always do.
So whatever you're going through,
we're there for you guys.
- Yeah. Thank you. We appreciate it.
- So on to new beginnings for everyone.
- Definitely. - You know?
- Definitely.
- There's a lie detector technician coming.
They are not gonna be hyped up about this.
It was a great day yesterday.
- You know what?
Sometimes, when you go out of a limb sometimes,
and just be authentic and genuine, it really works out.
- Yeah. - And that's kind of, like,
my whole thing, like, you know?
- ♪ No pain, no gain ♪
♪ Gotta keep my head in the game ♪
♪ If I wanna stay ahead of the game ♪
- Sup, pussies? - Oh, that's you have to start?
- I'm a little hung over, so I'd like to get some food.
- Facts, facts. - Let's do this.
I just want to come over 'cause I texted my boy
this morning at 11:11 for his birthday.
- Oh, yeah. - Happy birthday.
- Oh, thanks.
- [stuttering] - Is this my party?
- This is--you know what? - Is this my party?
- Not yet, not yet. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- What a party. Let's go to breakfast.
- All right, let's go. Come on, Buckners.
- I'm hungry.
♪ ♪
- Oh, hello, neighbors. - Good morning, family.
- What's up? - Where's Nicole?
- Still dead. - Yeah, probably.
- [snoring]
- Honestly, if she had a "Meatball Show" last night,
she shouldn't be here right now.
She needs to sleep that [bleep] off.
- Wait, what are you doing? - Come. We're coming.
We're just catching up back here.
Listen, Big Daddy Sitch is not good at secrets,
and I think the squad is not going to be happy
that a lie detector is in the midst of us.
- I'm just gonna pretend I don't know what you're doing.
- I actually don't know what I'm doing either.
- Everybody's having their best time.
- Yeah. - Everyone's getting along.
- I know. - Maybe we can just, like,
set the guy up and continue to observe.
- Yeah. You know, maybe I'll go first.
"Did you ruin the 'Jersey Shore Family Vacation' in the Keys?"
"No, I did not. That was not me."
- I don't know, you might fail that one.
- [chuckles] I might. - You might fail that one.
- Oh, God. - Just saying.
- I got a coconut, I got a coconut.
Vinny, coconut.
- I'll have a sausage this morning.
Oh, I'm, like, spilling on myself.
- I'm getting rained on.
I'm, like, really not gonna sit in the rain.
- Honey, I'm sitting next to you, and there's a spritz.
Did you look at the sky?
- Lookit that way, though. - Oh, damn.
All right, well listen, we better hurry up, then.
[laughter]
- I thought you said that your wife was always right.
- She is.
This is--I stand--
I stand corrected, I stand corrected.
♪ ♪
- I have to say I was so proud of you guys.
- I know.
- Thank you. - Yep.
- That was, like, a breakthrough, I feel.
- I was like, "Oh God, what am I gonna say?
What am I gonna say?" - Like, I never--I never saw
Angelina, like, open up to you like that.
- So the breakthrough that Chris and I had last night
was actually pretty good.
We'd like to take that,
and I would like to continue that.
Hopefully, we'll be on the track of goodness from here.
I feel like we brought back, like, 2009 yesterday.
- I was really proud of Vinny turning up with us.
- Yeah. - Yep.
♪ ♪
- Beat that beat up! Beat that beat up!
- We still got it, guys. We still got it.
- Yeah.
- It was an amazing party that you set up, Deeners.
- So fun. - I mean--
- And even though there was nothing really specific
to celebrate, like, we still made it work.
- Yeah. - Oh, my. [bleep] my life.
- There really wasn't much to celebrate...
- Yeah. - But we were celebrating life.
- Right, right, right.
- We were celebrating each other.
- Do you gargle with salt?
Oh, my God, Vinny,
[bleep] shut up.
I don't care.
- Where's--where's Nicole?
♪ ♪
- Oh, my God.
♪ ♪
What time is it?
It's 1:00?
[groans softly] Wake up, bitch.
Where is everybody?
They're probably, like, on a cruise.
I'm a hot mess.
I'm the Angelina for the day.
- She was, like, eating fettuccine everywhere
and was like, "Ugh."
[soft upbeat music]
- Let's get this party started.
Ooh.
♪ ♪
I'ma throw up.
[burps]
Oh, I can't drink like I used to, that's for sure.
♪ ♪
Cham-pag-nay, and a splash.
♪ ♪
Let's go find my friends.
[grunts]
Holy [bleep], it's bright as [bleep].
♪ ♪
- ♪ Oh, my mojito ♪
Friends? Deener? Jenni? Pauly?
Did they leave me?
That's so rude.
Hello?
Where's the beach?
- ♪ I'm gonna take you high, I'm gonna leave you low ♪
- Where the [bleep] are we?
[gasps]
Oh, my God! I scared it.
wait, I've never actually seen a coconut before.
Is this real?
What am I, "Cast Away"?
How was your day?
I slept till 1:00. Like a loser.
♪ ♪
[gasps] My friends!
- Hi, boo! - Hi.
- You got a coconut.
- I mean, I found a coconut.
Wait, where's Pauly?
- He left. - He left.
- He just left.
- You said goodbye to him last night.
- Oh, okay.
all: Forever family!
- Get home safe.
- Bye, Nicole. [chuckles]
- I don't remember saying bye to him, though.
- At that point,
you were "Weekend at Bernie's" style on the sunbed.
Like--like, out. - Yep, yep.
- So I feel like we've had, like, a fun time, all of us,
and the kids are having so much fun together.
I feel like we should do, like, a family day today.
- Oh, facts.
- Yes, please. - Oh, my God, yes.
- I want to be with the kids. - All right, let's go.
- Yeah, let's do it. - Don't forget your coconuts.
[upbeat music]
- Juicy butt?
Angelina, my daughter just said you have a juicy butt.
- Thank you. I thought I lost it.
- Sissy, you said that? - I thought I lost my ass.
- Yeah. - You made her day.
- That's a compliment. She likes that.
- You made her day right now.
- You got a juicy butt. - I love it.
all: Oh!
- I love her, I love her. - That was amazing, Meilani.
- All right, Meilani, we're going to this room.
- All right, Meilani, we're right here.
Tell Sissy you'll see her in a minute.
- Meilani, we're going to this room.
- Do you want to hold your coconut?
Got your coconut.
- Are you--you're getting a bathing suit on, right?
- Yep. I'm putting one on right now.
♪ ♪
- I didn't realize it was gonna be so hot out.
- It's hot as [bleep] balls. - Oh, my God.
♪ ♪
- All right, Geegers.
You ready for beach day?
So this is called a confessional,
where we confess our sins.
You talk to the camera like it's a YouTube video.
♪ ♪
I'm swimming.
♪ ♪
When I count to three, we can say, "Party's here!"
One, two, three.
- Mom's here. - Party's here!
No. Party's here. - [giggles]
- Let's go get Meilani.
And then we'll go get our pina coladas.
♪ ♪
- Soccer. [grunts]
- Volleyball, dude?
- Do you want to play volleyball?
Aw, man! - Yeah! Big boy!
- I almost had it.
- I'm a beast at badminton.
Let's play a new game.
Come on, Greyson. Nine. One more, bro.
Yeah! - Yeah!
- No!
- A lot of activities at this hour.
- Romeo, you want to go to the beach, babe?
Ready? - Okay.
- Come on, Greyson.
- I thought you wanted to have fun!
- Dude, I'm asking the same thing.
- We're gonna whisper this,
'cause we don't want to wake up CJ yet.
- The first whisper confessional.
- Look at his little shoes.
- Three, two, one.
all softly: "Jersey Shore Family Vacation."
- Baby Edition. - [shushes]
all: Family Day.
- [starts crying]
all: Aww.
♪ ♪
- So are we still doing this other thing?
- That's gonna be the kicker tonight.
- That's gonna be the nightcap.
- For dessert, the lie detector technician's
gonna take your order. - [laughs]
- Whoo! all: "Family Vacation"!
- I found my wine, bitch!
Yes, queen!
- All right. Did you ever kill anyone?
Do you train legs?
Do you shave the back door?
Do you like your ass [bleep]?
- Oh, my God! - Ooh!
- What in the world? - Oh, damn!
- Inconclusive. all: Oh!
- [mouth full] I love you so much.
You're gorgeous.