♪ MTV ♪
This is something--
no woman should ever have to go through this.
It's horrible. - Fucking kills me, dude.
The miscarriage--this is a hard thing to go through.
Hey, Ange. It's me, Sam.
I just want to see how did the doctor's go.
All my roommates are having a blast in Boston right now.
Oh, I have such FOMO.
They look like they're having the best time ever.
See, we're fine.
Ow.
About to have an authentic lecture by a Harvard professor.
- How are you? - Hi.
- It's great to see you. - I brought my backpack.
- Uh-oh. - How are you?
- Not great. - We're hungover.
Give us a break. - Okay.
Yeah, buddy!
Party's here!
The Situation is under construction.
This might not have been the best idea.
We're so classy now.
On the seventh day, it'll be lit.
Get the frig out of here, you crazy!
Um, hello?
I'm still the sweetest bitch you'll ever meet.
You guys could just, like, look at us
and tell we are Ivy Leaguers. - I know.
I don't like school. I'm good. Thank you.
- I don't feel well. - We're dead today.
- I know. That's okay. - I'm so hungover.
I'm never drinking again.
Where the fuck are we going?
- We're going to a bar. - Got a good spot?
- I do. I got a spot. - Let's go to the spot.
Here we go.
Guys, I have to go to the airport.
Okay.
I'm bummed that I'm actually leaving right now.
Enjoy. - I love you, boo.
I love you.
I have to go to Meilani's last cheer competition.
Did you get everything? Are you good?
Are you on your way? - What now?
I overslept.
Oh, and she hung up on me.
all: Bye, Jenni.
If, like, I don't get home,
my daughter will actually kill me.
- I hate everybody. - Oh, my God.
I want to die.
Kill me. Just fucking kill me.
Usually, us meatballs bounce back.
I feel sick.
But, you know, I don't see any bouncing back today.
Do you want a pillow?
No, I just-- I feel motion sickness.
- Oh, I'm sorry. - That's fine.
Being on the schmuck bus is making me so nauseous.
I'm gonna die. - I'm gonna throw up.
We need to get me back to the hotel.
I'm getting an Uber. Fuck this.
Mike, you're going to love this next spot.
Where are we going? Do they have food there?
Yeah, they get three squares a day.
- Okay. - Going to prison?
- Oh, maybe. - Get me out of here.
- I'm getting an Uber. - Back door.
I haven't felt this hungover in years.
I'm so sick right now.
See? I'm gonna throw up now just thinking about it.
I'll go to dinner later.
Hi. How are you?
Ugh, God.
- I don't know. Four. - Four to six.
Well, yeah, four to six.
Never drinking again.
Oh, Mike. Right at home.
- Mike, oh, shit. - Oh.
It used to be an old prison.
This wouldn't be the first time I'm behind bars.
Makes sense why there's mug shots all over the walls.
Yeah.
I am surprised that Big Daddy Sitch
is not on the wall.
Your boy was not good at budgeting.
Pfft.
Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino
pleaded guilty to filing false tax documents
from 2010 to 2012.
Meatballs are not happy.
Oh, God.
I feel like a bag of dicks.
I'm never drinking again.
And if I'm going to make it to Pauly's show tonight,
I just need to go back to the hotel and just rest.
Deena, our car's here.
Let's go.
I'm never drinking again. I'm never drinking again.
Ugh.
Never drinking again.
Can't drink like I used to.
Never drinking again.
Oh, shit.
Martha. - And Snoop.
As a former felon, this restaurant definitely sparked
a lot of memories for me.
They first indicted me,
I was in the lounge of the Newark Airport,
and I was high.
When we walked to the gate,
they were waiting at the airport,
because I was going to Spain.
There were seven agents waiting for me with a clipboard
to serve me to say that there was a grand jury investigation,
United States versus Mike "The Situation."
All of our decisions have led us...
To jail.
Anyway, has anybody heard from Angelina?
No.
♪ It's all about me ♪
♪ What I want, what I need ♪
♪ You can call me bougie ♪
Want to see everybody in Boston?
Look, you want to see?
Good girl.
I don't even know how to explain everything.
I'm kind of at loss for words now.
This has...
been terrible, all of it, every part of it--
missing the trip, miscarrying.
I wanted to be pregnant,
and I was happy in a lot of moments.
I didn't believe it at first.
I'm just, like, kind of in shock now.
I'm with you, girl.
Who would have thought? This is crazy. I love it.
Hi.
Uh, so we're having a baby!
I don't really know if I'm ready to...
open up about this yet.
It just happened, and I'm still in a bad place.
I'm not ready yet.
All of it sucks.
- One question--the hair. - Yeah.
What do you mean?
- Is this the guido mullet? - The guido mullet?
Like, here you look like John Gotti, Mike.
Yeah.
Then the curls-- a little mullet-y
In the back. I love the curls in the back.
Business in the front, party in the back.
- Yeah. - Exactly.
It's definitely a party back there.
I don't know what you're doing with the mullet, dude.
I get you saw it on someone else, but guess what.
Some things that look good on someone else
don't look good on you.
Now, the color-- is that Hoboken Rust?
I'm probably in need a touch-up probably.
A touch-up?
Ooh, ooh, a cheesecake?
I'll take the tiramisu.
Yo, which one of y'all gonna bail me out, yo?
- Oh, shit. - Just leave him here.
- Yeah. - Yo, come on, now.
We won't forget to write.
What the hell?
Don't drop the soap.
Welcome back.
You still on this fucking thing?
- Yeah. - Last night in Boston.
We'll go back to the hotel.
We'll get changed, and then--
See if the Meatballs can make it out.
Ugh, I cannot make it out tonight.
Ooh, I feel nauseous. Ooh.
Yeah, I mean, listen,
we have reservations, right, for dinner.
And then we got Pauly's show.
♪ I go hard on the regular ♪
♪ I be telling y'all with the flow ♪
♪ I just level up ♪
♪ Ring, ring, who's that on my cellular? ♪
♪ Gotta make a move, now I'm coming to your area ♪
All right, fellas, well, I'm gonna head to the hotel,
do my sound check and all that.
I'll meet you guys at dinner. - Yep. See you later.
See you guys a little bit later.
I have a set in a few hours.
How I like to prepare for a show--
first, check out the venue, get a good meal,
get a good dinner with my friends,
and then turn up for the party.
♪ Friends and your people, whoo ♪
♪ You love it how I break it down right now ♪
I love Boston this time of year.
Come in.
Oh, my God, she sounds like death.
Are you guys coming out tonight or no?
- I don't think so, Ron. - No?
I can't move.
All right, well, one Meatball down.
I'm gonna go check on Nicole. - Okay.
Nic? What's up?
You're dying?
This has never happened before.
There has been no city to take out the Meatballs.
The Meatballs always rally.
Mapping.
That's radical.
Round 1, party.
Oh, oh, oh!
Come on!
Meatballs win.
Round 2, party.
- I just peed my pants. - Thank you so much.
Meatballs win.
Round 3, party.
Meatballs win.
Round 4, party.
Meatballs win.
Round 5, party.
Meatballs win.
Round 6, party.
I'm dizzy.
KO.
Boston, you win. You took the Meatballs out.
We have officially passed away.
Meatballs lose.
Oh, it's terrible.
We have to figure out who won the egg.
I would like to collect my winnings.
- He left his egg on the bus. - Oh, you don't win, then.
Don't tell me Laurens is pregnant again.
I feel like we have to do a trip before the baby comes,
like, close. - I would love that.
Hello?
We want to give Sam a bougie Hamptons experience.
- Make it happen! - Oh, God.
♪ Mother's finest, queen, Your Highness ♪
♪ Fair and righteous ♪
So much baby stuff.
Silicone plates?
Oh, little plates.
The baby is only a few months away,
and pregnancy life is consuming me.
Oh, amazing. I'm so happy about this.
I'm on the baby journey right now.
Bottles.
I'm trying to get it done ahead of time,
'cause come fall, like, he's gonna be here already.
Oh, soft.
I'm just so thankful to be where I'm at today
in my pregnancy.
But I'm just like, I wish my baby was here already.
They're so cute.
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪
♪ La, la, la, la, ♪
How you doing?
The Meatballs didn't make it.
I'm shocked.
It's something about Boston. It does it to you.
♪ One hell of a party ♪
♪ One hell of a night ♪
Hi.
Why is your room so much colder?
I'm jealous. - I regret every decision.
Ugh. I'm spinning.
So you guys know how Pauly D only cheats on a Sunday, okay?
Because that's the Lord's Day.
But every day is the Lord's Day for Big Daddy Sitch.
Bro, are you a pastor?
Are you giving a sermon right now?
- Why don't you just talk? - Say it.
- Just say the words. - All right.
We are going to get fresh cannolis
before we go get dinner. - Oh, shit.
♪ That's why we fly so high ♪
♪ We sit on top of the world ♪
♪ We on top of the world ♪
♪ We on top of the world, the world, the world ♪
Do you want anything to drink while you're waiting.
- Oh, no, I'm okay right now. - Any water, still, sparkling?
- I'm okay right now. - Okay.
Thank you, though.
So I'm at dinner right now.
Like, fellas, where are you? I have a show later.
Where are these chooches?
- Damn, looks good. - Look at this.
Shit looks good.
Let me get a little bit of a lemon square.
Okay.
Oh, they got the sfogliatella.
Mike, come on.
You guys pick whatever you want.
Okay, fine, fine.
Come on.
I want to try a lobster tail.
Oh, my God, let me try a Napoleon.
Mike, we're going to dinner, bro.
Oh, my God, is that a pistachio macaroon?
Take the boxes, Ron.
Pauly is sitting, waiting for us at dinner.
And we have to drag Mike away from eating
to get to dinner to go to Pauly's show.
Love you guys. - Oh, watch out, I got boxes.
- Shit. - Thank you.
Jen, we got something fucking for you.
Oh, you got something for me?
Oh, my favorite. - Got you your own box.
Yes.
Where's the chooch?
Pauly's calling me.
Oh, shit. What's happening?
- Yo. - Bro, where are you guys?
Mike--he just took a little bit extra time in the bakery.
But we're on our way. - "Bakery"?
What are you talking-- we're eating dinner.
I got him some cannoli.
♪ This is how we do it ♪
- ♪ Yo, yeah - ♪ Hey ♪
How are you?
Oh, there they are.
What's up, man? What's good? - Glad you guys made it.
Don't these guys understand?
I know they're on vacation, but I have to work.
Glad you guys are here, man.
Where are the Meatballs at, though?
Yeah, the Meatballs didn't make it.
- Boston took 'em out. - Wow.
Never seen that before.
This feels nice.
So nice.
Oh, put it on your cheek.
Oh.
I'm never drinking again.
Never.
Hi, guys. Welcome to Mystique. I'm Emma.
I'll be taking care of you guys.
- They finally made it. - Finally made it.
Can I get spicy tuna? Spicy salmon.
Where's the California roll that you guys have over here?
All right, let me get a shrimp tempura roll
with two of the tuna.
Can I add the pad Thai chicken to the order?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- Oh, you got the pad Thai? - Yeah.
Give me some shrimp, and add some lobster to it.
And that's good. - Okay, yeah.
So Angelina-- what's happening?
- Seriously. - Should I call Ange?
Fuck it.
We're in Miami. What do I do?
Shit.
Your call has been forwarded to voicemail--
Ange not picking up my phone call definitely is indicating
that something is up with her.
I can't believe she missed the whole trip.
- Yep. - I wonder what's going on.
Something's got to go on.
I mean, I haven't heard from her.
Last time I saw her, she looked good.
And she said she was actively trying to get pregnant.
I'm not in a relationship. I'm just getting dick.
Oh, shit.
But I did buy sperm, by the way.
- Oh, my God. - So I have my picking.
There's a lot of rumors going around.
Angelina moved into a new home, and she may be pregnant.
But why does that mean don't come?
Maybe she couldn't fly.
If she is pregnant, I guess that that's a positive thing.
That's a blessing.
Is she ready for it? I don't know.
I mean, being a parent in general is--
- It's a lot of work. - It's a lot of work, bro.
- A lot of hard work. - It really is, though.
It's so crazy 'cause you're in your, like, late 30s.
You want to, like, definitely open up that chapter.
But with her, she's been engaged.
She's been married.
She's done this shit a bunch times
and then has to keep starting over.
So that's kind of why I'm picky,
'cause I don't want to go through that.
When I see Lauren's parents,
they've been married for, like, 30 years.
I see that, and I want that.
My parents divorced when I was 19,
and it definitely was a sad time in my life at that point.
I'm like, I respect that. I look up to that.
That's hard work.
My mom's been with James for, like, 32 years, 33 years.
- Shit. - Yeah.
My parents lasted a long time,
but they got divorced at, like, 20 years.
Mine's been divorced since I'm a baby.
I don't even remember. - Yeah.
My parents have always been involved in my life,
so I'm happy for that.
But kind of just never had that example
to look up to of what marriage is.
If there's anyone's marriage
that I had to bet on working out, it's yours.
Dude, the way you still, like, look at your wife,
it's like you're looking at her for the first time--it's crazy.
I will say that raising my kids and having a family
has been the most fulfilling thing
I've ever done in my life. - Yeah.
The smiles that I see on my kids' faces...
it's proba-- there's no joy like it.
Amen to that.
Best parts of being a father
is just watching this little person grow,
and watching them be so successful
and be good at school or good at sports.
And you're like, yeah, I did that.
Like, that's me.
The love that I feel for my child,
it's nothing I ever felt before.
It's like, when she leaves me, I miss her.
When she's away from me, I miss her.
When I see her, she's happy, she lights up, it's like,
there's no better feeling.
I want him to experience that one day,
because we can't even explain it to you.
I bet.
The term "unconditional love" means something to you
because you can grasp the concept.
But you can't actually experience it
until you have that child.
I definitely really want to find the right person
and start a family.
And I'm at that age.
I'm getting older, and it's just time to do that.
But I really feel that you're going to be
such an amazing father.
I see when he comes over and sees my kids--
he lights up. - Yeah.
Hey. - What's up, Uncle Vinny?
I haven't been here in so long.
Wow.
Look at this teenager.
You're going to be all right, Vin.
♪ Every day I do a little more when I walk ♪
We got to roll out. I got to go to a show.
♪ Ain't got my feet on the floor ♪
♪ 'Cause my head's in the clouds ♪
♪ And the sky is the limit, I'm on another planet ♪
♪ Call me a moonchild, get it, get it ♪
I'm super pumped for my show tonight.
It's like, me DJing in my hometown.
And I love when the family comes out and supports me.
What's up, Boston?
Everybody in the part, make some noise!
Who wants RSVP to come to the DJ booth right now?
Don't tell me Laurens is pregnant again.
We got a little bit of a situation.
- I think she's pregnant. - The fam is getting bigger!
I knew it!
both: We're pregnant!
RSVP's in the building.
And I got a major announcement.
Your boy BDS is in the gym.
I belong to the 315 Club.
We repping 315 for the 6, baby. - Oh, my God.
Let's go! Let's go!
Hands up one more time for Pauly D!
I love you! Thanks for coming out!
I got, like, 15 boxes of pastries back here.
What do you got there, Daddy?
All right, just stand out of the doorway.
Oh, yeah, this is what winning looks like.
It's what gluttony looks like.
When you look up in the dictionary "gluttony"...
- Gluttony. - You'll see my face.
So good.
The fuck you waiting for? Go, stupid!
Fucking wrong way, too, asshole.
♪ I've been on a roll, I've been doing big things ♪
♪ Not in it for the money, I've been chasing my dreams ♪
♪ Pop up on the scene, doing my thing ♪
♪ Pull up in my whip, so fresh, so clean ♪
Hey, Ma. How's Mac?
We are on the way out the door.
I'll be home in, like, four hours, all right?
Double-check, triple-check.
All right, bye, Boston.
How'd you sleep?
I was up all night.
Not gonna lie.
Last night I was like, I might have to go to the hospital.
Same thing.
I was like, I think something's wrong.
I know.
♪ We outside, and it's a takeover ♪
♪ The wait's over, Came to catch a vibe ♪
♪ And we gonna skate through with no brakes on it ♪
Wait, guys. We have to figure out who won the egg.
I would like to collect my winnings.
- He left his egg on the bus. - Oh, you don't win, then.
- Oh. - It means he doesn't care.
- By the way, there you go. - What the fuck is that?
It's your child in there.
Get the fuck out of here.
- It's my turn to talk. - Oh, you don't win, then.
Mike, you left your egg on the bus.
Here, Vinny. - What?
Frankie won.
I'm going to appeal this, okay?
- All right. - All right, Boston.
See you next time. - All right, Boston.
See you later. - Boston!
Bye, Boston. It's been wicked awesome.
"Pissah."
Go for bacon, egg, and cheese.
I don't even know what I'm in the mood for.
♪ I'm so fresh, I'm so clean ♪
♪ Can't nobody do it better than me ♪
♪ Pull up on em, ow, with a gangsta lean ♪
♪ Can't nobody floss better than me ♪
So us girls are heading to Sam's today
because she wasn't there in Boston.
We want to fill her in on everything that happened
and just check up on her because she's preggers.
- Oh, thanks for coming over. - You look cute.
- You were missed. - Yeah, you look so cute.
- Yeah, we missed you. - I'm cozy.
I know. I really wish I could have been there.
The entire trip was fun.
The first day we went to Fenway Park.
And then we went to the thing that you did for Mike.
- Chicken tender. - The chicken tendy day.
Let's make some noise for chicken tendies, baby.
Welcome to Tender Town!
The one part of Boston I wish I was a part of
was the chicken tendy place, because that's my craving.
You guys did fun stuff. - Yeah, it was cool.
Ange never showed up. The guys tried calling her.
- I tried. - Yeah, everybody tried.
But have you heard from her? - No.
No?
Last time I talked to Ange, she basically told me
that she's not feeling great.
And I'm like, you should go to the doctor.
Go to the ER. They're going to just check.
And you can see what's going on.
I'm a little concerned and worried.
I haven't heard anything.
- So weird. - Something's going on, I feel.
- Yeah. - Probably.
I just don't want to say anything I'm not supposed to.
I feel like they should find out from Angelina themselves.
But, yeah, we missed you in Boston.
- I know. - So it wasn't the same.
I have major FOMO. I do.
Like, after hearing all these stories,
I'm like, I wish I was there.
I feel like we have to do a trip
before the baby comes-- like, close.
- I would love that. - How close?
Maybe New York, because it's not too far.
- Would you do bougie? - Like, what kind of bougie?
- Bougie? - Like, Hamptons bougie?
Oh, definitely.
I've never been to the Hamptons.
Because it's, like, just over two hours.
And I've never been.
I've never been to the Hamptons.
- I've never been either. - I used to work there.
Wait, stop it. We've all never been to the Hamptons.
Do you want to see pictures?
I was so ratchet when I went to the Hamptons back in the day.
It was glorious, from what I remember.
Okay, but I've never done, like, Vinny's Hamptons.
I've done...
- Trash. - Trash Hamptons.
Yeah.
I don't know, like, the pinky-up type of Hamptons.
That's gonna require Vinny to help us.
- Maybe we should call Vinny. - I'll call him.
- Hello? - Hello, Vincent.
We want to give Sam a bougie Hamptons experience,
and we want a mansion.
We want to feel special.
You get those places all the time.
First of all, it's not good.
Why would you go if it's not good?
There's no cell service.
Watermelons cost, like, $80.
We never been to the Hamptons,
and we just would love to go,
and it's kind of close for me to travel to.
I'll work on it, but I'm telling you--
it's kind of, like, overhyped.
Oh, my God, you're ruining this.
You're ruining this. - Get it together.
You're aggravating me. Make it happen.
Oh, God.
Okay.
Hi, Viv. Can you get up here?
What's this, Viv?
Hey, Ange. We missed you in Boston.
No one's heard from you,
so I wanted to see if you were okay.
We are going to this Hamptons thing before Sam has the baby.
So we're leaving Friday and would love for you to join us.
So give me a call back if you want to come or just to talk.
Miss you. - Oh, Jesus.
I'm not 100% ready for a trip yet
because I still have a lot going on.
I don't know if I'm ready to go anywhere.
And I don't know how to express this to the roommates.
Vivi, let's go in the other room.
♪ Bang, you better be ready ♪
♪ Bang, I don't go slow or steady ♪
Ever since Sammi gave us the amazing news
that she is pregnant, okay,
I have been thinking about doing
Sammi's gender reveal nonstop.
Big Daddy Sitch has a résumé.
My specialty is gender reveals.
So I'm going to make Sammi an offer she can't refuse.
- Hi. - Hey.
- Welcome. - How are you? How are you?
- What are you doing here? - I brought you some cookies.
- Ooh, okay. That's good. - Yes, I got you some cookies.
Why is Mike at my house?
I really like the colors you decided.
- Thanks. - Who decorated this?
I don't think I've ever seen Mike near
or close to my neighborhood ever.
- Which one do you want to try? - We could try both.
- Okay. Good idea. - Let's try both.
- Cheers. - Cheers.
How are you feeling?
- Feeling better now... - Mm-hmm.
That I'm a little bit more farther along.
I'm like, 25 weeks. - 25 weeks is a big--
That's--it's big. - I know. I'm feeling big.
Feeling big.
Okay, so I need to ask you why you're really here,
'cause I know you very well. - Mm-hmm. You do.
Like, what's the real reason why you're here?
Well, now that we're at 25 weeks...
Okay.
I know that we're going to have
to plan a gender reveal soon. - Yes.
And I wanted to extend my services to you.
Oh.
Hence, why I brought a presentation with me.
Oh, you have a whole presentation?
Yes. I'm feeling that maybe event planning
is in my future possibly. - Here, I'll move this.
Case in point, BDS is a family man--
Oh, this is like, a real PowerPoint...
Yes.
Like, back like we're in college.
I am blown away. Mike made a PowerPoint.
I didn't even think he even knows how to use a computer.
All of my gender reveals were not only successful,
but they were also fun, and they were also unique.
I've heard unique.
There was a little bit of a casualty.
No, she fucked me up for real.
Yo, I'm not kidding!
We almost had to call the paramedics.
The second one right here, as you can see...
Oh, my gosh.
I'm jumping out of a plane right there.
all: It's pink! - It's a girl!
My wife is actually still a little heated
from that particular gender reveal.
Yeah, that's scary.
Here's the third gender reveal, which was a movie.
Go!
- I knew it! - I knew it!
Everyone loved it,
and it was different from all the others.
I'm a little nervous to have Mike plan my gender reveal,
knowing that his previous own gender reveals were insane.
This is scary to me. That, you hurt yourself.
We need to keep it safe. We need to keep it simple.
If he can do that, maybe I'll be on board.
Now I'm getting to the pricing of said plans.
We have a price list here.
- Oh, I'm paying you? - No, I'm not--
Listen, let's not describe it like that.
No one works for free, okay?
And I wanted to present you with the price list.
And we have three plans.
We have the BDS Basic plan.
It is $1,200.
Okay, 2 hours of prep, iPhone photos, and a buffet.
Okay, then we have the BDS Baller plan.
Okay, it's $2,300, 6 hours of prep.
This is a beautiful PowerPoint.
I can live with a verbal...
commitment.
- Well, I'm-- - A verbal would be--
- I can't commit yet. - Okay, fine, fine.
I want to talk to Justin, see his thoughts.
And then--I don't know-- I'll let you know.
I think Sam is going to come around.
You know, where and when, I'm not sure.
But I'm assuming the close right now.
Thank you. - Thank you so much.
- Have a great day. - All right, see ya.
Get home safe.
I think we landed it. I think we got the position.
♪ We only live once, nah, fam, we live every day ♪
♪ We only die once, that's why I don't joke with my funds ♪
♪ Hard times, but I know I triumph ♪
♪ Getting that last laugh, that's right. ♪
All right, there's a gate here now.
This is different.
Wow, this shit is fucking luxurious.
This is fancy.
Mike's gate is like his Versace shirts come to life.
Bullshit.
This house is slowly turning into the Versace Mansion.
- Um... - Hello?
- Who is this? - Come on, bro.
Open this fucking ridiculous gate.
You may enter, sir.
So luxurious.
Must be nice to be rich.
All right, honey, we let the stripper in.
♪ I am the best ♪
♪ Anything less, it don't concern me ♪
♪ So if you ain't near the level... ♪
Yo.
Love the gate. - Oh, you do? Thank you.
Thank you. - Very fancy.
So everybody obviously wants to get together for another trip,
and Sammi has to stay close to home.
But I have a love/hate relationship with the Hamptons.
With traffic, when you want to go,
it could be, like, six hours. - Mm.
Everything is, like, triple the price.
Can't get a reservation anywhere.
- Yeah. - I was thinking,
instead of going to the Hamptons,
we get a dope house in New Jersey.
How are you going to get past the girls?
And they're nonnegotiable.
We want a mansion.
We want to feel special. - We want to be rich.
We never been to the Hamptons.
Well, I want to see if you approve of this house.
Okay.
All right, here, this is the video.
On this episode
of "Lifestyles of the Tan and Famous,"
we explore the perfect estate
for guidos to live in the lap of luxury--
a 29,000-square-foot mega mansion,
sitting on almost 24 acres of land.
With its own barbershop, you can get a fresh cut in style.
A barbershop?
Yeah, I know that's going to get you there.
Wow. That's big.
Eat your best life
in one of the five state-of-the-art kitchens.
Meatballs can get their drink on
in the fully stocked wine cellar.
And fist-pump your heart out in the private nightclub.
And all of this
in the most exclusive place to be--the Hamptons...
I mean Jersey.
So this house is basically like the Hamptons
in New Jersey.
So we could just call it the "Jamptons."
You know what I mean? - Oh, for sure.
Let's go, family. Let's go.
How are you going to get this past the girls?
We're going to pull a prank.
I have a plan, and I've been working
with the prank war champion.
I don't think we should just tell them
that we're going to the New Jersey house.
I think that they should still think
they're going to the Hamptons.
Right, right, right.
But then they actually don't go to the Hamptons.
They go to the Jersey Hamptons. - Oh, perfect.
There you go. That's the prank.
When you go to the Hamptons,
there's a bus that transports people back and forth
from the city to the Hamptons. - I think I heard about it.
It's called the Hamptons Jitney.
Okay.
So I think if the girls see the Jitney pull up...
- Of course. - They're going to get in...
Yeah.
Think they're going to the Hamptons.
Yeah, but, instead, they're going to the--
Jamptons.
♪ All my dreams came true ♪
♪ The day that I met you ♪
♪ Now it seems they've come apart... ♪
both: Hi! - Hi, there.
How have you been feeling?
- It's like this. - Yeah.
A lot of crying. I'm like--
You know, the roommates want me to go to this trip,
and I'm just like, I don't really know.
Where are they going?
- The Hamptons. - Hamptons?
I mean, I kind of always wanted to go to the Hamptons.
Should I go? - I love the Hamptons.
100%, you should go.
You have to try to get back into your normal routine.
You've been, like--
Every time I talk to you, you're in this house.
Let the roommates in. - Yeah.
Let them be there for you. I mean--
They don't even know what's going on yet.
Like, I haven't-- - They don't know anything?
No.
They're all gonna sympathize
and want to be there for you.
It's just a lot to tell anyone,
let alone a whole group of people.
- Think about it. - I'll think about it.
I think you'll have a good time.
♪ In my dreams, in my dreams ♪
Do you know how to back in?
Whoop!
Why is your thing so narrow?
Why is your truck so fat?
Oh, my--Jenni, stop talking!
- Good afternoon. - Good afternoon.
I'm Carmine. I'm your butler for the week.
My butler? Do you have kids?
- I have two, yeah. - Yeah?
Yeah.
Kind look like I might be one of 'em.
Yeah.
Yeah, you know, I'm just saying.
♪ In my life, I think that things are bad ♪
♪ And I might get right up in the bag ♪
♪ And everything seems like it's all good when it's bad ♪
♪ You can imagine ♪
Hello? Anybody home?
Someone looks ready for the Jamptons.
- What's happening? - That's what you're wearing?
Yeah, this is my vacation outfit.
All right, I got to go.
We are going to the Jamptons.
It's just going to be an RSVP trip the first night.
The girls are going to come tomorrow.
The greatest part about this prank
is that they think they're going to the Hamptons,
but they're really just driving
a couple minutes down the road.
It's going to be hilarious.
Are we going to fit all these bags in the car?
Aren't we going, like, eight minutes away?
I didn't know if you rented, like, an SUV or not.
An SUV? We're going five minutes away.
All right, let's just talk about this.
This obviously is a must,
because this is, like, shampoo and toiletries.
This right here is shoes.
This one is shirts.
Then this one is, like, pajamas, socks.
- Okay, that one's important. - Yeah.
I think that you should preemptively call an Uber...
Mm-hmm.
Because we're not fitting all these.
Even if I had, like, a fucking pickup truck right now,
I couldn't fit all this luggage.
All right, there's one on the way.
All right.
- Oh, wow. - Yeah.
Bro, we ain't fitting anything in here.
Ooh, look who it is. My Uber just showed up.
This is why I travel by myself.
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
Extra pair of sneakers!
Yeah, and these shoes.
Are we ready? - Yeah.
Road snacks.
This should be good for the 12-minute ride.
♪ We gonna get it, we, we going hard ♪
♪ Unh, are you ready? ♪
Why is her hand on her hip?
I am honestly super pumped for this trip.
I haven't been to the Hamptons in, like, over--
I don't know--12, 13 years.
So Nicole and I are shopping today.
We have to go find clothes to look rich,
because in the Hamptons, that's what you do.
- So this is my new car. - Yeah.
It's beautiful. - I'm at 12% battery.
I don't even know what that means.
I'm not gonna make it home. Can I charge?
I'm still getting used to the electric thing,
so I need a battery.
Do you know how to back in?
Whoop! I just went the wrong way.
I swear, I'm a really good driver.
It's doing it 'cause you're standing there.
Can you fuck off?
'Cause you're gonna hit the wall!
I'm good. My car does an auto brake!
How do I turn that the fuck off?
Yeah, this is just too much.
You're not good!
- You have to leave! Leave! - I'm leaving!
Why is your thing so narrow?
Why is your truck so fat?
Oh, my--Jenni, stop talking!
Stay still!
It thinks I'm gonna run you over!
I'm not even in frame.
Why did you get a bedazzled license plate?
Fuck off.
All right, if you fucking blow up my house,
I'm haunting you in your dreams.
How am I gonna blow your house up?
Push that--push this down.
I don't know what the fuck to do here.
Jenni, blow in it.
Blow in it like Nintendo.
- Charging port is connecting. - Now it's red.
Are you hitting buttons? - Unable to charge.
No, it's just not working.
Oh, my God! Can you fuck off?
Wow.
♪ Journey... ♪
This is definitely a hotel.
It's got garages. It's a house.
Oh, wow.
This is crazy.
Holy hotel.
Like, this cannot just be a house.
I like your style, Vin.
I've never seen a house this big.
I've seen hotels this big.
- Good afternoon. - Good afternoon.
I'm Carmine. I'm your butler for the week.
- My butler? - Yeah.
There's a butler?
Wow. - And you are?
I'm Ronnie. both: Nice to meet you.
- Come inside. - Nice to meet you, Carmine.
Is this a hot towel? - Hot towel.
And he kind of looks like me.
Looks like we're related.
This is quite the mansion, a compound.
Mm-hmm. Right.
- Do you have kids? - I have two, yeah.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Kind look like I might be one of 'em.
- Yeah. - Yeah, I'm just saying.
Yeah. - I see me in you.
I see me in you.
You look more like my son than my son does.
- Yeah? I believe it. - Yeah. Yeah.
You look more like my father
than my father does, you know?
You never know. Back in the day, you know?
Oh, shit. Is this it?
This house is definitely my vibe.
It's big. It's bougie. It's gray. It's sexy.
Thank you for following us.
Extra shoes.
Thank you so much. - You're welcome.
Thank you. Let me get my bags out first.
Hold on.
I'm not sure I can bring all this stuff,
so I'm to leave some of it.
I'm going to come back for it.
Ooh, the Rigatoni Retreat.
Oh, there's no doorbell.
Oh. - Oh, the butler.
I got everything covered.
- We're in the Jamptons. - Yes.
- Good afternoon, boys. - Hello, sir.
How we doing? My name's Carmine.
I'm gonna be your butler for the week.
Oh, nice to meet you, Carmine.
This house comes with a butler, okay?
Do you live here? - Yeah.
- Okay. - Part-time.
I thought a butler was, like, this, like, stuck-up,
cartoonish type of guy.
This butler is a guido.
What's up, bro? - You did good.
Thank you.
As you can look at this mansion,
I am properly dressed.
Look at this. Look at this.
I feel like Lauren doesn't love him.
Yeah, because she lets him walk out of the fucking house
like that.
All right, let's go on the tour.
Damn, this place is nice, man.
- Here's your dining area. - Oh, shit.
I could do some damage in this house.
Yo.
You could do some damage in here, too.
- Wow, look at that. - Y'all got a bench out here.
Y'all got enough plates for me?
It's not easy being in the 315 club.
3 of these right here. - No one cares. Let's go.
- Oh, God, here we go. - 3 of these, boys.
Here, boys, we have our heated pool.
90-degree water.
All right, boys, these are the grounds.
Nice-sized pool-- this here is the stable.
I didn't know we had horses. Now we're bucking.
I used to compete
in horseback riding when I was 9 years old.
I had little tights on, and I rode English style,
And I was like a little equestrian.
I was a little jockey.
Handball, Ronnie?
Damn, Carmine, you've outdone yourself.
This house has everything.
This is the one apartment in this house--
another bar, deck overlooking the tennis courts.
Oh, wow.
You guys want to get a haircut?
Knock yourselves out. - Wow. Now we're talking.
Turn up the music! What do you think?
- Let's go! - Huh?
Wow.
This place is lit.
This house checks all the boxes.
And it seems that Vinny is overcompensating
for his tiny car...
With this massive compound of a house.
Okay, this is the primary room.
- This is my room. - All right.
- I can work with that. - Wait, hold up.
This looks a lot like my room.
- Overlooking the pool. - No, this is my room.
This is perfect for the person that planned this trip.
I just don't know when the assumption happened...
that Mike walks in a house and gets the primary suite.
I'm going to have to claim a bedroom.
- Oh. - Oh.
What's in here? Oh, my God, look at this room.
It's a big room, beautiful. Look at the bathroom.
Mike, I think this room is nice.
I'm going to put this here just in case.
This is, like, tentative.
both: Oh!
Damn right. This is perfect.
You know, it's been, like, 15 years
of us, like, being on vacations together.
Wow. You know, I've never had a primary before.
And this looks like the perfect one to be first.
This is my trip.
Let's find Mike a room before he cries.
And I've had enough.
Might have to flip for it, big dog.
- Nah, bro. - Let's keep seeing the rooms.
♪ Only have eyes for you ♪
♪ Only have eyes for you, you ♪
- Look at you, folding towels. - Looks good, right?
What's going on?
You ready for the Hamptons? - Yeah, I'm so excited.
I can't wait to go. - Yeah?
I'm so pumped to go to the Hamptons.
I've never been there before, but I do know a lot about it.
It's like the New York version of the Jersey Shore,
except a little classier.
All I can fit in are leggings and sweatshirts.
So that's all I'm bringing. - That's all right.
I feel like it's just gonna be a comfy girl trip for me.
- Mm. Yeah. - You know?
Have you heard from Ange?
I haven't heard from her, and I'm a little concerned.
She's kind of been ghosting me again.
- Yeah? - Mm-hmm.
So, honestly, I just don't even know what's going on with Ange.
She told me she's not feeling great.
And ever since then, her vibe has been nonexistent.
I should probably call her. - Yeah.
She hasn't talked to any of my roommates or friends.
I just want to make sure she's okay.
- Hey, Sam. - Hey, girl.
How are you doing? - I'm not great.
I have a lot going on, and I haven't been feeling good.
Are you doing okay?
Do you want me to come over and help you?
You know, is anybody around?
I can come over there for a little bit.
- You're not busy? - No, I can stop by.
I've been thinking about you.
I'm a little concerned, so I would love to just stop by,
see how you are. - All right, yeah.
Why don't you come over? I would love that.
All right, I'm going to come over in a little bit.
All right, bye.
♪ When the only missing piece of me ♪
♪ The only missing piece of me is you ♪
Sam's wedding is in a few months.
When's your birthday? - December 4th.
- When's the wedding? - December 4th.
She's gangster.
Welcome to the Jamptons!
- My T-shirts say the Hamptons! - What's the Jamptons?
Has anybody spoke to Angelina?
You're here?
I don't really want to go into every detail. Like...
You don't have to. That's your own business.
all: Oh!