♪ MTV ♪
[fake Western accent] Where in tarnation is that dang beach?
Put your hands where I can see 'em, little lady.
Call me anything you want, don't call me a toddler, okay?
You're a toddler, Vin.
-I have receipts. -That's bull [bleep]!
I have nothing to hide.
Get the [bleep] outta here.
Okay, I think we should respect his wife, Lauren, and not...
[Vinny] Oh! There he goes!
[Jenni] There it is!
[house music playing]
[applause]
Welcome to part two
of the Jersey Shore: Family Vacation reunion.
I'm Justina Valentine.
The crew is here, and we have a lot more vacation to cover.
Let's pick up where we left off in part one,
the season-long drama between Angelina and Sammi.
From toddler screaming matches to bonding over car farts,
Sammi and Angelina tried to coexist.
But, the Arizona sun reignited their drama,
leaving all of us wondering how long their truce would last.
Take a look.
Apparently Angelina's been, like,
saying negative comments about me. What the hell?
Recently, we had to do a week in New York City of just press.
Multiple people told me that she was
just talking bad about me.
Are we waiting for Ang?
[Angelina, on phone] I'm just-- I'm just done.
Ang, we're downstairs waiting for you.
[Angelina] I really have to like somebody,
like Sammi or somebody...
Give me the phone right now.
This is the second time I've heard you
throw my name around like that.
Keep my [bleep] name out your mouth.
Sam's back, she can take my spot.
I brought you in thinking you were gonna be a friend.
You've been nothing of that sort.
I feel like I'm talking to a child who just had a tantrum.
-[Bleep] off, Sam, [bleep] -What?
[Sam] There are things I could've called her
way worse than a toddler.
Maybe I don't think you, like, appreciate me.
That's what I said.
-[Deena] She does! -I have been so nice.
How many times do I say thank you?
This looks like an exorcist.
...but a friend, I've been nothing but a friend.
The power of Christ compels you!
[Mike] The fan club responded, "Sam being messy now."
Angelina responded,
"Yup, I bring her back, she buys a home..."
[Lauren gasps]
Damn!
Why are you bringing up my home?
You just threw me to the side, like, "[Bleep] her."
I'm the one that brought her back,
and then Sam bought a house right away.
I should be on the deed. [chuckles]
If I can coexist,
-I can have a great time. -Same.
I can still do what I've been doing for months,
because, guess what? I'm not coming from a negative place.
I'm not either.
[man] Perfect, you guys agreed on something.
[Sammi and Angeline] There you go.
Holy [bleep], you made some [bleep] progression.
-You're making progress. -Alright?
It took forever for us to sort through the TikTok scandal,
so this time, we're going to try something different.
[upbeat music playing]
Welcome to Reunion Family Court.
I'm your honorable judge, Justina.
I have a gavel, so you know it's real,
and Nicole has some holy water in case I need backup, okay?
Christ compels you bitches.
I'm gonna give both of you a chance to say your piece,
but once I hit the gavel, it's over
and we're moving on to the next issue on the docket.
Okay, Angelina, you said,
"I brought you back thinking you'd be a friend,
and you've been nothing of the sort."
What specifically are you looking for in a friend
that you're not seeing with Sammi?
Texting me off camera, things like that.
I did, you never answered my texts.
-When? When? -I have receipts, I can show it.
-Can you show it? -[Sammi, laughing] Yes.
The evidence is being brought in.
I have nothing to hide.
August 1st. "Hey, are you good? What happened?" No response.
August 28th. "Hey, are you good? Hope you're feeling better."
She goes, "Hey, not good." I go, "Hang in there."
No response. September 4th, "Are you at Tiki?" No response.
She just never answers me, so I don't know why--
That's [bleep]. Wait, didn't I have surgery around then?
Wasn't I going through sur-- something happened.
I don't know your life.
And she has to not take that personally,
because I do that sometimes.
Like I go into my own little, like--
Well, then don't put out there that I don't text you.
Okay, let's bring in a witness.
Jenni, you've been called to the stand.
-Oh, [bleep]. -[laughter]
You had a theory that part of the issue could be
Angelina feeling a bit jealous after witnessing
Sammi's bond with the rest of the girls
when she came back. Why do you feel like that?
Unfortunately, I think Angelina feels that maybe
when she came back, it wasn't as welcoming.
And Sam, we kinda always
had that seat waiting for her to come back.
You're a hundred percent right.
So why treat me bad because you felt like that?
I never treated you bad because of that.
-Then why? -I never wanted you to have
a bad experience, ever.
Why did you treat me bad for existing?
Like, I just remember we had a bond
and I just thought, like, we were gonna have that bond again.
She wanted me to not get along with any other roommate,
-and the fact that I did-- -That's bull [bleep]!
Did I ever say that to you?
Where is the [bleep] proof of that?
It's killing her on the inside and she doesn't like it
and that's why she treated me like crap for months.
See, that, to me, is scary.
I was just existing, and you were treating me terribly.
You still are not taking any accountability...
Take accountability for the TikTok and--
-Oh my God, -No more TikTok talk, ladies.
I wanna get off the Ferris wheel, please.
-Get me off. -[Ang] You put yourself on it!
I don't-- it's just circles with this one.
I will if we both [bleep] agree
that you're wrong in some ways, and I'm wrong in some ways.
No, I'm not wrong.
-You're never wrong? -[Justina bangs gavel]
I'm not wrong in this situation.
Okay, narcissist.
I'll let you think what you want.
-Really? Okay. -I volunteer as next tribute.
Oh, is that the wrong show?
Did I ever tell you, "I wanted you to fight with the girls"?
Okay, moving on to the next order of business.
Angelina, do you think maybe subconsciously
you do have some resentment
of Sammi's bond with the other girls?
-Definitely. -It's more hurt,
because, like, they're running a marathon,
and then I can't catch up to them.
Do you understand, Justina, it's been years, and sometimes,
some people don't make me feel accepted.
Do you regret your decision of leaving the show?
Of course, yeah.
Ang, I think a lot of us have tried
in the past with you,
and then it always turns into chaos.
I'm going to therapy to better myself
and learn how to cope with speaking to people.
That's the first thing I can do, like...
We had a rocky past, we've had some stuff,
but I think that we all, as women,
did come far in our relationship,
and I think at this point we're able to have fun.
There's just so much everybody could do
to, like, try and be your friend.
I'm just saying in general, like,
I don't feel included a lot of times.
[Justina, bangs gavel] Alright, next order of business.
Sammi, Angelina DMing a fan page upset you. Why?
I just think spilling somebody's personal business,
about how much they pay on a home,
or personal finances, is weird
and I think Ang completely crossed the line by doing that.
Why is she speaking about me buying a new house?
Because somebody asked--
Because somebody must be jealous
-of me coming back-- -You think I'm jealous?
Girl, I've been on the show for a [bleep] long time now.
See, that's the thing,
we talk mad [bleep] about each other...
[both] To each other.
We never take it outside
and that's the thing where,
that's the big disconnect with Angelina,
is that she will take it to other people.
She went on TikTok and did the same thing!
Can I just talk for one minute?
-Because that is why-- -No more TikToks.
I will never go to a fan page and talk about anything.
If anything, I'd be like, "Yes,
[bleep] Sam earned and deserves that house."
-[Mike] Yeah. -[Justina] Right.
Would you say that, moving forward,
no talking to fan pages about--
Yeah, sure, please no TikToks too.
[Justina bangs gavel] No more TikToks!
Angelina, all you have to do is understand this about Sam,
and I learned this ten, fifteen years ago, she's reactive.
I'm actually not like that anymore.
I've grown up, I'm older, but what I do do is--
Oh, but I'm not, I know.
I just, I'd rather her keep my name out of her mouth.
I don't know how many times I have to beg her--
But stop listening to other people.
Come to me and ask me if I [bleep]--
I did.
Well, I told you about the fan page immediately.
[Justina bangs gavel] Okay, next order of business.
-[grunts] -[Justina] Alright,
the infamous toddler comment.
Nicole, you have a toddler.
How do Angelina's tantrums
compare to the ones you deal with at home?
Oh my God, Angelo is crazy.
You did a little of his kicks.
[Angelina] What am I, a wrestler? What the [bleep]?
You, like, flew on the floor, fell to your knees,
-you, like, slammed the floor. -I'm just over it.
Yeah, can we delete this stuff?
[Justina] So there are some similarities?
-I had a moment. -She had a moment.
She had a toddler moment.
Ang, there was one thing
that helped kill some tension
this season, and it was you
-ripping ass in the car. -Thank God.
-I'm gonna [bleep] my pants. -I'm gonna [bleep] my pants.
-[farts] -[all] Ooh!
-[horn music plays] -I didn't mean that!
Get me the [bleep] out of here!
[Jenni] You're cut off.
Is farting the solution to ending family drama?
-I wanna rip one right now. -Angelina, please don't.
-[Vinny] Please don't. Please. -[Angelina] I'm about to.
[Nicole] Vinny's right behind you.
So, ladies, is the truce still on?
If Angelina shows me from here on out
that she will stop talking about me
and stop throwing my name out there, I'm good.
I can definitely move forward.
Can I say the same about you?
I don't talk about you.
But you do.
[Justina bangs gavel] Alright,
we're gonna end court here,
while we're in a semi good place.
Court adjourned.
But, there is one order of business left.
There was a lot of toddler besmudgery this season,
so in an effort to restore their reputation,
toddlers have asked us to use the reunion
as a platform to remind everyone just how cute they can be.
And we've got some baby pictures from before the Shore.
-Oh my God. -[Justina] First up,
-a very cute Situation. -[Deena] Romeo.
[all] Aww.
[Sammi] Looks just like Romeo.
So cute.
Next, we have the sweetest toddler you'll ever meet.
-I have the same RBF. -[Nicole] Chubby cheeks.
Look at my resting bitch face, even as a kid.
[Justina] Before he was stripping, he was crawling.
[Sammi] What a little nugget.
-Look at that pimp robe. -So cute!
Now this toddler has always been an animal lover.
[all] Aww. Angelina.
-[Deena] Aw, kitty cat. -My grandma's bed.
This toddler's first words were, "Yeah, buddy!"
[Angelina] He's still tan. He was tan back then.
-[Nicole] He looks like Lorenzo. -I told you.
-He does look like Lorenzo. -They're twins.
[Justina] This toddler was rippin' cigs in her crib.
Oh, I know this one.
-[laughter] -[Deena] Jenni!
Welcome to the eighties, guys. My dad.
-[Deena] Terry. -Your dad's hysterical.
Here is meatball number one.
[all] Sissy!
Party's here.
And meatball number two.
[all] Aww!
See? All you need is some cute baby pics
to get everyone in their feels.
-Right? -So cute.
Coming up, was Arizona the first and last time
Deena lets the boys plan a family vacation?
Find out next.
Can we have our wine now?
[laughter]
Listen, call me anything you want,
-don't call me a toddler. -You're a toddler, Vin.
I felt bad for them, I was like, "Let me just kiss one of them."
I don't know what to [bleep] say.
Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait.
-[Vinny] Oh, there he goes. -[Jenni] There it is.
[house music playing]
Welcome back to the Jersey Shore reunion.
I'm Justina Valentine.
The roommates left Nashville, but the hot chicken
followed them to reunion.
I've got more fan questions, and if they wanna dodge,
they'll have to burn their mouth on hot chicken.
Alright, now Mike from Holmdel
has a question for Vinny.
[laughs]
It says, "Will you rock the blinged-out denim jacket
for the rest of the segment?"
-No. -[all] Ooh.
Guess I'm eating chicken, then.
-[all] Wow. -You're anti the bling, huh?
-Yeah. -Good luck.
I like eating new things.
Enough about my Friday night, you know?
[Justina] Use a fork, just because,
uh, we don't know what you have on your hands.
No, wait, you gotta take a big bite.
[Mike] Take it all.
Pretty hot. I mean, I eat [bleep], this is nothing.
Oh my God.
-That's true. -So gross.
It's kinda hot though, damn.
This next question comes from Dylan,
who wants to know--
Wow, this is kinda hot, not gonna lie.
Deena, besides Angelina,
which Shoremate behaves the most like a toddler?
-Ooh, Vinny. -[Bleep] my life.
Vinny Guadagnino!
Listen, call me anything you want,
-don't call me a toddler. -You're a toddler, Vin!
-Oh, [bleep]! -I am moody.
You always want a boob in your mouth?
Yeah, I like breastfeeding.
We have some more spicy questions around the corner,
but let's talk about the trip to Tucson.
After Nashville, everyone was ready for a little R&R,
so the crew traded rhinestones for worry stones
and primal released all over the desert.
Take a look.
-I am Thomaste. -Thomaste.
-Can we do a breathing exercise? -Of course.
[screams]
[hoots]
Why the [bleep] are we seeing a guru?
Did we just join a cult? I'm sorry.
Repeat after me:
If I read it on Reddit, forget it.
Oh, damn.
[laughter]
Namaste, bitches.
[screaming]
[cawing]
[Justina] Now, Jenni, you were getting cult vibes
from Thomaste, why?
For sure, there's so many documentaries
with, like, that's the lead-in.
-They all look like him. -They all look like him.
Next thing you know, he's naked and you're like...
-"How did this happen?" -Why do we always go there?
-[Justina] Wow. -Mike, enough about prison.
Oh my God!
Delete!
-You're leaving him? -That was good.
Vinny, you all were able to primal release with Thomaste.
Did you find it helpful?
Yeah, I mean, I primal release a couple times a day.
-Um, so-- -With any help, or usually--
Usually by myself. But, it was nice to do it as a group.
-[Justina] Yeah. -Sick.
-Disgusting. -So amazing.
[Justina] Nicole, you weren't there when everyone
was releasing their primal rage.
Do you wanna give it a shot right now?
-Rowr! -[trills]
-What the hell was that? -Wait, was that you?
-Are you in Star Wars? -You ... Chewbacca?
-Chewbacca! -How do you do that?
With the thing at the back of your throat,
-it goes back and forth. -Ooh.
-The hangy ball. -[Vinny] Hey, yo!
-That's the secret. -[Bleep].
-You had me dying. -Ew.
Well, Arizona was all about Zen,
but that didn't stop the roommates from getting wild.
When these party animals go out, they nama-stay out.
Take a look.
[braying]
Our little miniature Sicilian donkeys.
Damn, look at all that ass.
It's like Jurassic-- ohh! It took the cup!
[chirping]
Oh, [bleep]!
Oh, [bleep] that!
Help me. Help me!
Oh my God, they [bleep] on my head.
Is there any [bleep] in my hair?
Tonight's the night we're gonna take it back to our roots.
-[woman] Hi, Dee! -Hello.
-Blast in a glass, bitch! -Denim, denim, denim.
Fist bump like this, Joey!
[man] You look great, man.
Party's here!
[all cheering]
Yeah, buddy!
[techno music playing]
Yeah!
We gotta get outta here. We gotta get outta here.
What'd I do wrong?
-Oh! -Oh my God!
That's funny.
Nicole, how did it feel bringing back the poof?
So easy.
And sometimes I have to say, like, I randomly just miss it,
and I'll put it up to be like, "Can I still do it?"
And I still do it in, like, two minutes.
You made it iconic.
-It's coming back. -Yeah.
Jenni, which roommate's wardrobe has improved the most
since 2009, and who has improved the least?
Mine was a bit crazy, so mine would probably improve
more on the most side.
[Nicole] Yeah, you dress like a lawyer now.
-Like a sexy lawyer. -Yeah, back then I was...
But you looked great when you threw it back.
-I... I did. -You did.
-That was great. -Back then it was all tits.
I feel like we all upgraded.
We follow trends more, where back then we would probably...
-I think we set the trends. -[Mike] Yeah.
A lot of our trends are coming back.
Yes.
-A lot of them. -2000s is coming back.
Sammi, you were not feeling the ostriches.
-This is how you do it-- -Oh [bleep]!
My God!
I love animals, but they, actually, I was scared,
because they were like gripping everybody's cups in their hands.
-They're dinosaurs. -Yeah.
They're literally dinosaurs.
I was a little scared of them a little bit.
They were pretty feisty. Did anyone actually get bit?
I think I did.
-Mm-hmm. -Yeah.
-I liked it. -[Justina] You liked it.
-Yeah, yeah. -Oh my goodness.
[Justina] Ang, what was it about the donkeys
that had you so obsessed?
I felt bad for them. I got sick after that.
-[Justina] Did you really? -[groans]
I got like a sore throat after that. Literally.
-No joke. -Who knows what that donkey had?
Who knows what she has?
-Oh! -Oh, damn.
[Deena] Oh my goodness gracious!
Okay, well, coming up, Angelina has a fiance,
but it was her ex who was lining up to donate sperm.
Is the wedding still on,
or is a disengagement in the works?
Find out when the reunion returns.
[applause]
He's telling me that I gotta talk to him to talk to you?
Like, get the [bleep] outta here.
So, Ang, do you still plan on getting married?
[house music playing]
Welcome back to the Jersey Shore: Family Vacation reunion.
I'm your girl, Justina Valentine.
This season was filled with surprises,
starting with Mike's mysterious announcement.
There were a lot of guesses, but no one had tell-all memoir
on their bingo card.
Take a look.
[Mike] Today I'm about to reveal a big secret
no one knows about,
and I'm throwing a party for this big announcement.
Oh my God.
[all cheering]
This is my tell-all book.
Oh, we're [bleep].
This is my story about how I overcame addiction.
Not a day goes by to think that I could've also
tragically passed from the disease of addiction.
My wife saved me.
I document in detail how I saved myself
from addiction, so that if you know somebody
that is suffering from the disease of addiction,
you can read my story.
-Well, we're so proud of you. -[Mike] Thank you.
-To Mike. -[Vinny] Yay!
Cheers to Mike. Reality Check.
To Reality Check!
Woohoo!
-Oh, look at that. -Wow.
-[Deena] Oh my God, it's a cake. -[Jenni] That's amazing.
Yeah, I'm gonna take a page outta that book.
[laughter]
A fantastic read. Really, Mike, congratulations.
-The book is amazing. -Thank you.
How does it feel to be a published author?
Uh, it's amazing, I put many years, uh, into
actually writing the book. It's my legacy,
and the response has been overwhelming right now.
It's really so good, congratulations.
And everyone has someone who's been affected by addiction
so you're touching a lot of people's lives.
Now, Jenni, you and Mike have always been close.
Were you aware of how bad things got?
-[Mike] You were there. -It was bad.
You're seeing one of your best friends, just,
-you know, lose themselves. -Mm-hmm.
And at the end I think we were trying to save face
by pushing him away
because he was pushing us away,
because he didn't want us to see him in that situation.
Yeah. I was trying to hide it.
Yeah, we had no idea,
but reading the book I actually got a better understanding
of his life, where he's at now.
It makes me actually feel like I know Mike more now.
-Because of reading his book. -[Justina] Yeah. No, absolutely.
-Congrats again. -[Mike] Thank you.
And, uh, make sure you guys grab a copy of that.
Okay, I wanna dive into something else.
Big Boy was covered in poop, and Peanut peed on the floor,
but Vinny 2.0 was the one stuck in the doghouse.
His four-hour gym sessions left Angelina wondering
if their relationship would work out.
Take a look.
Vin has not been home in weeks.
Ang, this sounds like red flag central.
-[Mike] Ang-- -I don't know what to do.
It's obvious it's over.
This engagement is now a disengagement.
Ang, is Vinny 2.0 still in the house?
[Angelina on phone] Not really.
Ah! I told you, I told you!
-[Angelina whispers] -Oh my God, Chris L. texted her.
He's like, "I love you," all these things.
And then he's like, "Hey, if you wanna have a baby,
I don't mind giving you my sperm."
-What?! -[whispers] You're with Vinny.
I mean, yeah, but, I don't know.
Can he hear me?
Like, what are you doing?
Chris L. wants to make a baby with her,
Vinny's still living there.
I don't think I'm gonna get married again.
No?
No.
[Angelina] Even though we've had our ups and downs,
right now Vinny and I are at a decent place.
I just think it's a pattern of chaos.
I'm starting to get worried for her, you know.
[Angelina] Mike, we're not doing this.
Show up to work.
And if you knew what she filmed
behind your back,
you'd be pretty [bleep] upset too.
If you knew what she filmed behind your back,
you wouldn't be sitting there with your smug face right now.
I don't got a [bleep] smug face.
Yeah, you do got a [bleep] smug face.
I don't want you guys fighting.
Alright, [bleep] it, [bleep] it, [bleep] it, [bleep] it.
-Let's go. -Here we go, [indistinct].
-No, we're good. -Alright.
So you guys are good now?
I got over it and we went to therapy,
and people can go do a [bleep] up thing and like--
-For sure. -And then, like, get over it.
I'm hoping the girls at this point can just accept
that Vinny and I are doing well, and just accept it and move on.
So, Ang, in the beginning of the season you confided in Mike
that you and Vinny 2.0 were having problems.
What exactly was going on in the relationship?
Well, he wasn't coming home, he was always working.
I think he was using work as a way not to come
and, like, deal with our issues.
[Justina] Mm.
Mike, you came to the conclusion that it was over between them.
Why were you so certain that the engagement
should become a disengagement?
She was at my house for hours, and she just had,
you know, a laundry list, a very long list of reasons
why things weren't working out.
They weren't, you know, sleeping together
and they were having money problems,
and there was problems with his family.
It just seemed to me that it was an unhealthy,
toxic relationship, and as a friend,
it was my duty to tell her that.
Mm-hmm.
Ang, how do you go from wanting to break up with 2.0,
to bringing him on the family trip to Arizona?
We are in therapy and I think it's helping.
I wanted him to come on the trip
because everybody else had their person with them.
I just didn't know where I was with everybody
and, like, I just need support.
-I mean, it makes sense now. -Yeah, what was that?
It makes sense now why he was talking for you
-for the first two days. -I mean--
Oh my God, that infuriated me.
So now it made sense why 2.0 was talking so much?
I feel like you were afraid to come on the trip on your own,
-and confront us on your own. -Same.
Why did you feel like you needed that, Ang?
I just needed a support system at that point.
But, Ang, can you see how disrespectful that we feel
that that is to us as in we've known you for 15 years,
and I wanna talk to you.
-And somebody I barely know... -You can talk to me.
[Mike] ...somebody that I barely know, right?
You've told me all these not nice things about,
and then he's telling me that I gotta talk to him
to talk to you?
I'd like to at least tell her when, um,
she is out of the bathroom.
I mean, just tell her maybe like this, like,
that's how he's gotta do it. You know what I mean?
Like, get the [bleep] outta here.
You look like you're breaking a little sweat over there.
And that leads me to my next question.
You almost got into a Versace robe
-wrestling match with Vinny. -[Mike] Yes, yes.
[Justina] Um, why do you think he wanted the smoke?
I don't know, I think that both him and Ang were, obviously,
they were on high alert.
I'm... I'm a peer, you know what I mean?
So you can't disrespect me and tell me
you're not gonna come out of the bathroom,
or I need to speak to you through the door.
And that infuriated me.
And then he's telling me that I need to speak to him?
Then he'll speak to you, and get me the answer?
Like, get the [bleep] outta here!
But I came out of the bathroom.
Then you guys just kept going.
So that's when the problem happened.
-What goes on? -Oh my God.
And then I finally sat you down,
and I was like, "What's the problem?"
And she's like, "You and Jenni." I was like...
[Justina] Let's talk about the robe though,
'cause if he wanted the smoke,
it was gonna go down in the Versace robe.
-Oh yeah, it was definitely-- -Yeah, and the slippers.
Yeah, listen, I don't think I had good traction
in the slippers,
but BDS is benching 300 in the gym.
You think you could take him?
If you think your man is stronger than me,
and I don't think he is, you could put him on a bench.
-We'll have a simple contest. -Goodness gracious.
[Mike] I guarantee he won't beat me.
-Okay, let's do it. -I'm telling you...
This is a very Staten Island fight right now.
Yeah.
...if he wanted to get on the bench with me,
he's just not gonna be able to match.
[Justina] So, so, Ang, are you still living together?
-We are. -Still plan on getting married?
I don't plan on getting married right now.
[Justina] Okay.
I feel, um,
it would be more like a ceremony thing.
Like, I don't want that paper right now.
[Justina] Okay.
At least she said she's getting married.
Because after what I went through,
I'm not saying, like...
I just don't feel like I wanna do that again.
Well, I think that you two need to just
make sure you're good first.
I think I'd be like this with everyone.
Like, especially, like, after what I've been through.
No, I mean, listen, at the end of the day,
we kind of like when Angelina is, like, positive and happy.
We just want her to be happy.
[Justina] That's nice. I think we all want that for you.
Thank you.
Coming up, more fan questions are on the way,
plus, Angelina played with Mike's joystick.
What other secrets have the Jersey family been hiding?
We find out next.
But I get 'em done, like, every three months.
Enough about your tits.
We were all, like, making out with each other.
I was, like, tonguing Deena and Nicole.
It's true.
I felt [bleep], though.
Wait, wait, wait.
I think he was ejaculating, like, I don't know.
I think we should respect his wife, Lauren, and not...
-Oh! -There he goes, there he goes.
[house music playing]
Welcome back to the Jersey Shore reunion.
Angelina had her back-and-forth with Sammi this season,
but her and Jenni were better than ever.
So much so that Jenni even shaved Angelina's pussy...
...cat.
Take a look.
Big Boy is the cutest cat ever,
but he's always got [bleep] in his ass, though.
[meows]
[Jenni] Oh, my God.
Angelina!
You gotta mother [bleep] buzz his ass.
I had to take over.
-I'm gonna throw up. -Alright, don't throw up.
[Sammi] Oh, Jenni, you're a good friend.
-[meows] -I'm gonna throw up.
-[Angelina] No! -[Jenni] Sam!
Don't you [bleep] ...
I want nothing to do with this.
[Angelina] Good boy, Big Boy!
My God, there's mad [bleep].
-[Jenni] I got it. -[Angelina] You got it?
You gotta wipe his ass [bleep] though, with a baby wipe.
Well, I was hungry, so...
[Angelina] Well, now you're not hungry anymore, probably.
Well, thank you, Jenni, for that.
So, Ang, Jenni knew firsthand how painful
the surgery and recovery was,
so, how much did it mean to you
that her and Sammi stopped by to see you?
That was amazing.
It really, like, I love that they came over
because I needed that.
[Justina] You showed up with snacks
and ended up cleaning Big Boy's ass [bleep].
I love that.
I guess that's what friends are for.
I have to tell you, Big Boy loves you.
I'm so thankful I don't have to clean ass anymore.
-He's so-- -I'm good with animals, too.
But enough about my Friday night.
-Okay. -[Nicole] Oh my God.
-[Angelina] She did amazing. -[Justina] She did.
Angelina, Big Boy's got poop stuck in his butt hole,
Peanut's pooping on the rug.
Do you naturally gravitate to animals with IBS?
-What's the deal? -Dude, really.
It's like, my life, it's everywhere,
-all over my house. -It's a [bleep] show.
But you have to, like, with long-hair Himalayans,
you have to constantly get them groomed.
Well, I did it one time. But, like after--
But I get 'em done, like, every three months.
It's been almost a year.
But enough about your tits.
Oh my God.
[Justina] Vin, you got a lot of energy.
-I love when he's like this. -Go to bed.
I can't handle this.
[Justina] Alright, well, we have more Vinny jokes coming up,
but first, family secrets don't stay secret forever,
and 15 years later,
the juiciest hookups from Shore days past
were finally revealed.
-Take a look. -No.
It has been revealed that Mike and Angelina went on four dates.
Are you kidding?
Oh my God.
We're finding this out 15 [bleep] years later?
What happened on your last date that made it fizzle?
Because I wouldn't [bleep] on your [record scratch].
[all] Oh!
[Jenni] Anybody else?
Anyone else have sexuals here that we don't know of?
Yes to Deena, yes to Nicole,
yes to Angelina, yes to Sammi,
and Jenni was like a smooch, it wasn't really a make-out.
-[all yell] -It was a smooch.
We're all [bleep] disgusting. God dammit.
Wow, Mike used to date Sammi.
[Vinny] Oh my God, bro.
Oh my God.
You kiss everyone!
You know what else?
On TikTok it says Jenni Romney now.
I... No, I swear on my dead grandmother, not my type.
Wait, you hooked up with Mike?
Did you ever hook up with Vinny?
No.
What?
-[all screaming] -No, I didn't.
[Bleep] face said it all.
-No! -You just made out?
I'm about to break out the boards
because everybody hooked up with everybody.
-Fine! -[record scratches]
[all yelling]
It was... it was... a long time ago.
Oh my God!
Oh my God.
I'm leaving!
Oh my God.
Peace out!
Angelina decided not to [bleep] Mike's [bleep].
But she did grab the joystick though.
I did.
I grabbed on your-- I wanted to see how big it was.
Hold on!
She gave him an HJ.
-[Angelina] Yes. -Pretty much.
-You gave him a handy? -Like, over the pants.
-She gave him an HJ. -[exclaiming in Italian]
Oh my God.
The stuff you learn on National Jersey Shore Day Eve.
-You guys are funny. -It was like a touchy.
Talk about keeping it in the family.
Well, last reunion,
we learned that Angelina and Mike had dated,
but apparently, they weren't the only secret hookup,
so, uh, Vinny and Deena had a moment?
It was just a stupid, like, make-out...
To be honest, I really don't remember this.
We were both so drunk.
-Like, before Italy. -Vinny was a good time.
-Vinny was fun. -I don't think it was on camera.
No, it was not on camera.
Got you. Okay.
No, it was like a club appearance.
If there's no footage, it didn't happen.
I feel like back in the day, like before Italy,
like when we were all single and disgusting.
We all hooked up with each other.
We were all, like, making out with each other,
but like, me and Pauly made out,
the cameras never got it in Miami,
and we were like, "Oh, we made out,"
and then we just went on dancing with other people.
-Right. -So that was--
We were just, like, dirty like that.
We were just like, "Oh, let's make out!"
Mike and I purposely kissed
'cause the cameras weren't on us,
-just to like... -You did?
...[bleep] with the cameras in F-Cove.
-When did that go down? -That was, uh,
first season, at F-Cove,
and the cameras weren't on, um, us.
And we literally just kinda kissed on the lips
and we looked at each other.
-Was there tongue? -No.
It was like a nice smooch.
But there was no tongue, yeah.
But the cameras tried so hard
-to catch it on another boat. -And they missed it.
We just started bursting out laughing.
-[Mike] Yeah. -It was our "haha" moment.
We would all hook up with each other all the time.
Yup. We are disgusting.
And we just never really said anything,
'cause I guess there was no tongue so, like,
I can't even believe I said that, but, you know...
No tongue doesn't even count.
[Jenni] It was literally a smooch.
Yeah, it was like a smooch. Yeah, you know.
I was, like, tonguing Deena and Nicole.
-Making out on the bar, oh God. -It's true.
[Justina] It was the good old days.
Vinny, how come you never made a move on Jenni?
I mean, like, you know,
Jenni's always been like an older sister.
Remember that first season, when she came
and I was gonna share a room with her,
and I ran and changed my bags.
[Vinny] I think that's definitely a girl.
He ran downstairs.
So, I moved the bags into the bed that's isolated
because I knew I wouldn't sleep in the room with her.
She just looks, like, scary to me.
-You know? -Thanks, Vin.
I feel like she's gonna kiss me
and then just, like, punch me.
Yeah, she's hot and scary, like she said,
she might rip your head off, you never know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[Jenni] I am like a praying mantis.
After I have sex with a guy, I will rip their heads off.
-Now he's into that stuff. -Yeah, no.
-Now he's into it. -No, I like a submissive woman.
Oh my God.
My [bleep] ass [bleep].
[Justina] Ang, we learned you handled Mike's joystick,
but you wouldn't give him the Gluck-Gluck 3000.
What made you realize you didn't wanna take things further?
Down your throat.
Vin, that was good.
I don't know what to [bleep] say.
Um, okay.
I touched your dick over your pants,
I don't know.
So, it wasn't under the pants, so it wasn't exactly an HJ.
It was not an HJ, it wasn't a BJ.
It certainly wasn't a blumpkin.
I felt [bleep], though.
-What'd you say? -Wait, wait, what'd she say?
She said she felt [bleep].
[Justina] Wait, who was [bleep], you or him?
[Vinny] He was [bleep]? What the [bleep]?
[Angelina] I think he was ejaculating, I don't know--
-Okay, okay. That's not nice. -He ejaculated.
I think we should respect his wife, Lauren, and not...
[woman] There he goes.
It was back in the day, Mike, you asshole.
Oh my God, no one can take a joke.
That's the type of guy that likes to get choked out.
[Jenni] Oh my God.
Oh my God.
I think that you guys should reenact the iconic
"Where's the Beach?" scene and give it a Western twist.
-Where's my sheriffs' hat? -Calm down, Snookers.
[house music playing]
[Justina] Ang, we learned you handled Mike's joystick.
-Wait, wait, wait, what she say? -I think he was ejaculating.
I think we should respect his wife, Lauren, and not...
Oh, there he goes.
It was back in the day, Mike, you asshole.
I'm [bleep] around, just come back, just stop.
Oh my God, no one can take a joke.
I didn't know if he was going to get a tendie
or he was taking off.
[Mike] Ang, that's messy.
I got trauma listening to that [bleep].
I was kidding.
Okay, moving on, moving on.
Alright, let's get back on track.
Another baby meant another gender reveal.
But how could Mike top a skydive and prevent the third reveal
from becoming The Godfather III?
Take a look.
'Sup, pussies.
[all] Oh my God.
Where's my honeys?
I want this guy.
[exaggerated fight sound effects]
[cheering]
[man] Get him, Mike! Get him, Mike!
[all laughing]
[all screaming]
Oh my God!
-Where's my honeys? -There she is!
You want her?
Come get her.
-[man] Take that boy out! -[woman] Come on!
[man] Yeah!
[all] Oh!
Honey, we have one last thing to do.
It's happening.
Find out the gender of our baby.
[all cheering]
Now is the moment of truth.
Alright, honey, I love you.
-I love you. -Let's do it.
-Hey, party for Mike. -I love love!
-Go! -[explosion]
[all cheering]
[Vinny] I knew it! I knew it!
I could just cry right now. Me and my honeys.
[chuckles, sniffles]
Oh my God. Oh my God.
[all exclaiming]
That was great.
We felt like we were in Westworld.
-Yeah, it was lots of fun. -And the boys killed it.
-They were so good. -It was phenomenal.
-It looked really good. -It was so good.
[Justina] Ang, you were stunned.
What did you think about the boys' acting?
-I loved it. -Ang put on a show herself.
I [bleep]... I hit a guy on the head with a bottle.
Ah!
[Angelina] He loved it though.
-I can't! -[laughter]
Mike, last time, you already knew the baby's gender
and did the reveal for your roommates.
Did you know this time, or were you...?
No, I didn't know.
-You were surprised? -Yeah.
-[Justina] Wow. -Very much so.
-Yes. -[Justina] That's awesome.
Yes, I was.
Aw, one boy and two girls, wow.
-Yeah. -You gonna have more?
Big Daddy Sitch of three.
Um, I was actually talking to my wife the other day.
I'm like, "Listen, we're figuring out three,"
um, and it's tough. It is, three under three.
But it's not to the point where I'm gonna say no to four.
-You're gonna have four. -Poor Lauren.
-Oh my goodness. -Four it is!
She needs a break.
Godspeed.
Listen, she's getting the break.
I'm just saying, like, some people are like,
"Oh my God, I'm at three, and I can't...
I'm definitely not going to four."
-I'm not there yet. -Right, yeah.
Angelina, when you going for your first?
Soon. I think I'm gonna do something soon.
[Justina] Wow.
Mike, since you are the Versace don...
Aw.
We wanted your baby girl to match you.
[Mike] Okay.
Something for the new baby so she can match Daddy.
-Ooh. -Ooh, I have a feeling.
-Oh my God, I see it, I see it. -[Nicole] What is it?
What is it?
[all] Oh my God.
-A Versace onesie. -How stinking cute.
[Nicole] Your baby's richer than you.
[Justina] She's gonna be just like the Versace don.
I don't remember getting this for all my kids.
Where the hell's Mommy's presents? What the hell?
You're welcome.
The Western-style gender reveal was so cinematic and so epic,
I think it deserves a sequel.
Roommates, I had an idea,
and I think that you guys should reenact the iconic
"Where's the Beach?" scene and give it a Western twist.
Let's take a look back at the legendary moment
from Season Two.
Where's the beach?!
Right there.
Where else would it be?
[Nicole] Oh my God, I wanna go on the beach so bad.
I'm a [bleep] good person.
Roommates, are you guys down to reenact that scene?
[both] Yeehaw!
[Justina] Alright, we have scripts for everyone.
Nicole, you will be reprising your role as Drunk Tumbleweed.
Oh my God, Drunk Tumbleweed.
Deena and Jenni, you will also be reprising your roles
as Sauced Sidekicks.
Stop.
Next, we have Vinny,
you're playing Wise Boardwalk Grandpa.
Alright, Mike, you'll be Seaside Rent-a-Sheriff,
and Sammi, you'll be playing Befuddled Beachgoer Number One.
Thank you.
And Ang, you'll be playing a deputy.
-Deputy Dewey. -Alright, let's do it.
[Justina] Alright. Alright, guys, the props are over there,
you can start getting into character,
and when we come back,
the Jersey Shore Spaghetti Western premieres.
-[honky-tonk music playing] -Calm down, Snookers!
[all talking]
Can I take this home?
[house music playing]
[in Western accent] Howdy, this here's the Jersey Shore:
Family Vacation reunion.
We're fixin' to close down the show with a reenactment
of the Jersey Shore moment we'll never forget.
And now, I present "Where's the Beach?"
[beeping]
[strains of harmonica]
Where in tarnation is that dang beach?
[echoing] Where in tarnation is that dang beach?
Calm down, Snookers, you're gonna draw attention.
That little lady reeks of whisky and pickles.
I can smell her from over yonder.
I just wanna let loose and have a hootenanny.
Where's the beach?
-[hawks and spits] -[spittoon clangs]
It's right there.
Ain't no need to get yourself locked up over this tomfoolery.
I just wanna have a dang blast!
[horse whinnies]
Put your hands where I can see 'em, little lady.
Oh my-- [blows raspberry]
Keep still, keep still, child.
-Keep still, child. -Get off me, I'm a good person!
You got yourself a marlin.
Back off, ya hear? Back off!
She done lost her screws.
Hold up, partner.
Where's she headed?
This is here, the-- wait, [bleep], I [bleep] up.
[horse whinnies]
[whimsical music playing]
This here's the people we've been looking for.
Causin' a hootin' and a hollerin'.
It's time to take this one to the-- to the pokey!
Let's go, little one.
This ain't right!
I'm plumb mad. Madder than a rattlesnake!
Y'all no fun, I swear. No fun!
And scene.
Great job, guys.
-Bring it in, bring it in. -[fiddle music playing]
That is a wrap on tonight's reunion.
Big thanks to Sammi, Nicole, Deena, Jenni, Angelina, Mike,
Vinny, and the Pauly doll.
-[Pauly's voice] Yeah, buddy! -[cow moos]
Until the next wild adventure, I'm Justina Valentine.
Happy trails, partners.
Roommates, let's get a yeehaw.
[all] Yeehaw!
[horse whinnies]
[house music playing]