- ♪ MTV ♪
- I'm going to fist bump till my [bleep] arm falls off.
- Wait. Like this, Louis?
- Fist bump like this, Joey.
- Bitch, I'll show you chooch.
[shattering glass]
- Whoa.
- I'm over it.
[bleep] this place.
- I can coexist.
I can have a great time.
- Same.
I want to have a great rest of the trip.
Like, let's just move on from it.
- That's my boy right there.
[shouting]
- Oh, yeah.
- Did we just join a cult?
I'm sorry.
♪ ♪
- Walking into the restaurant right now,
it's like Tucson's going to be a completely different vibe.
- Oh, my God.
- You think he knows everything that has
happened the past six months?
- That's a good question.
- So what I'm trying to say is--
- What time should you do it?
[laughter]
- ♪ Get crazy, get wild ♪
♪ Let's party, get loud ♪ - Yeah, buddy!
- ♪ If you wanna have fun ♪ - Party's here!
- The Situation is under construction.
- We're so classy now. - ♪ Get crazy, get wild ♪
- On the seventh day, it'll be lit.
- Get the frig out of here, you crazy!
- Um, hello? - ♪ Get crazy, get wild ♪
- I'm still the sweetest bitch you'll ever meet.
- ♪ If you wanna have fun, then do something crazy ♪
[upbeat music]
- Right here. Right there.
OK, right there. - Ah!
- This is the best family fun day.
- Eat it.
- [laughs] No!
Put it away. - Eat it.
Eat it. Eat it.
- Us having a great old pool day.
- Surprise. Surprise.
- This trip to Tucson started a little bit on edge.
- You know, I not do one thing to you, for real.
- You're a [bleep]. - I've been waiting over here.
- [bleep] talking about what you did.
- ♪ Bring a case in ♪
♪ You can make a wish ♪
♪ Bring the cake in ♪
♪ Bring the bass in ♪
- But I'm actually so happy
Justin shook Ron's hand.
- Justin.
- I don't want stress with Ron.
We can all coexist together.
And Justin made me feel like that.
And I just feel like weight's lifted.
Like, now I can enjoy the rest of the trip.
- What are we doing for the gender reveal?
- I have no idea.
- What don't you want?
- Yeah, what's, like, off the--off the table?
- I think anything where there's, like, a risk of death
is off the table.
[buzzer blares]
- Ugh.
- We just jumped out of an airplane.
- OK.
- I'm just excited to see what the result is.
- ♪ Turn my life into a joy ride ♪
♪ It's all a movie ♪
♪ Never let a second slip ♪
♪ I never waste time ♪
- Vin, everything's good at home?
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
It's almost been a year since Angelina
and Vinny 2.0 got engaged.
- I love you, Ang.
And I hope that you'll marry me.
[cheering]
- You and the missus talking about wedding
dates in the future?
- Nothing set in stone yet.
Early stages, you know? - Yeah.
- We're trying to enjoy the engagement,
which it's crazy it's been a year already.
- Of course. Yeah.
- Time [bleep] flies.
- The vibe between 2.0 and Angelina, it's not right.
And I'm trying to figure out how to help their relationship.
Any relationship takes a lot of hard work
for it to be successful and for it to thrive.
Behind his back, Angelina has said
that the relationship is dead.
Their sex life is dead.
They got money problems.
I think when 2.0 sees what she's been doing
and what she's been saying for the past six months on TV,
it's not going to be easy.
So I'm really just trying
to just get ahead of things here,
because things are just going to get worse.
And, like, this is what you want?
You're happy? And--
- Yeah, of course. Nothing's easy, you know.
- No, it's not.
- And if things don't work out, you know,
it's not-- that's not wrong either.
- Oh, oh, oh.
Oh, OK.
- What time's Nicole getting here?
2:00?
- I think more like 3:30, 4:00.
- Finally feels like a vacation.
My kids are swimming.
The drinks are flowing.
And my boo is coming today.
Now we can truly get the party started.
♪ ♪
- ♪ Call you my hidden fun ♪
- We're going to go up and get ready.
- Same. - I love you guys.
- Bye. Have fun on the slide.
- Ready? - Yeah.
- Let's do it. - Thank you guys.
- Let's get it. Let's get it.
- ♪ For this song ♪
♪ Now it's coming ♪
♪ Bang, bang, bang, bang ♪
- All right guys.
- How was your morning with the girls?
- It was good.
I talked to Ang.
I didn't even realize
it's her one-year anniversary.
- It is.
- So I asked how everything is.
Like, the last time I spoke to you was at my house.
- He wants me to put him on the deed.
I bought Vin a Gucci fanny pack.
And then he returned it on his credit card.
Sometimes I'm like, why are you with me if you hate me so much?
He's like, I don't know.
- Everything she said to us, he knew about
and they're moving past it.
- People work through [bleep].
We're all humans.
- Was just weird telling me all of these things,
and then next time I see you, you walk in with him
like everything's great.
- It's messy.
And I'm not--and--and I'm just going to be like, OK.
You know?
I really want to say something, because I'm old school.
- I don't think you should say anything.
I'm hoping that, like, he doesn't
meddle here, because it's just never going to work out.
To her, it's just another day in the life.
[notification chimes]
- Ooh.
Oh, my God.
It's Thomaste.
- [screams]
Ha!
- And he said, get your roommates
and meet everybody downstairs in the lobby.
- Mike just texted.
- It's time for our next step in our journey.
Everyone meet in the lobby.
- Next step to the journey?
- What's he up to?
- Let's go.
[gong rings]
[soft music]
♪ ♪
- Oh, [bleep].
- You all are very radiant today.
- Thank you.
Who's this guy?
He definitely does not fit in with our group.
- He has no shoes on.
- Thomaste.
- I've sensed a shift in energy,
so I'm going to send you all off to be one with nature.
If you would please make your way out the front door,
your chariot awaits.
- Are you coming?
- I'll be with you in spirit, but this journey is for you.
- I'm a little nervous because the last two days
of whatever Mike had planned caused drama.
So I'm just praying that this is,
like, an actual fun activity.
- Namaste. - Namaste.
- I need the car that has the cooler.
♪ ♪
- ♪ Yo ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Penthouse up in the sky ♪
♪ Private jet ♪
♪ We flying high ♪
- There they are.
Hi, guys.
Welcome, guys.
Welcome to the Rooster Cogburn Ostrich Ranch.
My name's Dana.
What brought you guys here?
- Well, we have a special spiritual guide.
- [screams]
- And he sent us to connect with nature,
hence why we're here.
- Well, let's go do it, y'all.
Come on.
Everybody grab a cup of food.
[phone rings]
- Oh, Meatball's calling.
Meatball.
- Meatball, where are you?
I'm literally in the middle of nowhere.
There's aliens.
There's spookies.
- Are you meeting us here?
- I don't know where you are.
I just landed.
- I'll send you an address, and just wear, like, shoes
you don't mind getting dirty.
- All right, I'll see you soon then.
- Bye.
- What is happening?
- This is our little miniature Sicilian donkeys.
[braying]
Make sure you hold your hand nice and flat, OK?
- Damn. Look at all that ass.
[laughs]
I'm a Sicilian donkey.
- We have to disperse evenly.
- Oh, my God, look at this little guy.
Aw, he's the meatball.
- I could go for a nice glass of wine.
Where am I?
[eerie music]
My God.
Hello?
What is happening?
What did I walk in to?
You have sharks? [buzzer blares]
- Hi.
- I made it.
- Yay.
- Oh, my God, is that a goat?
- It's a donkey. [buzzer blares]
- Hi. - Hi.
- Party's here. - Awful.
Like, where are we?
- The squad is complete, all nine "Jersey Shore"
family members all together.
This is a very big moment.
Never has happened before in "Jersey Shore" history.
- Oh. - God.
- Oh, damn.
It's like Jurassic-- - Oh.
- Oh, he took the cup.
Oh, my God.
Look at his neck. Be nice.
Nice. Nice.
I said nice.
Nice.
God, they are vultures.
[buzzer blares]
Ostriches are freaking dinosaurs.
[buzzer blares] Oh, [bleep].
[screams] They're aggressive.
I feel like they're going to eat me.
Like, I just--they scare me.
- And if you want to give an ostrich a kiss,
this is how you do it.
- Oh, shoot. My God.
- Damn.
- Ugh.
- So we're going to come over here.
[light music]
[birds chirping]
- Oh, [bleep].
Oh, [bleep].
- [laughs]
- Oh, [bleep].
They think it's a nest.
Wow.
- Help me. Help me.
- They're messing up Pauly's blowout.
- Help me. Help me.
- Boy, they're going to [bleep] in your blowout.
Ah. - [screams]
- Guys, oh, my God.
I don't know how this helps us move forward.
I don't know how birds on our heads or kissing ostriches
help with anything.
- ♪ Blue and purple ♪
- Get it off me.
Get it off me.
- I hate it. - Oh, my God.
They [bleep] on my head.
- Is there any [bleep] in my hair?
- [bleep]. My God. [screams]
- Why are you so mad?
Why you angry?
Stop it.
Come on.
- These are scary birds.
- [laughs]
- [screams]
- [laughs]
- Get it off me.
Get it off me.
- Hope y'all are ready.
Tonight's going to be a very big night for us.
- Oh, my God. - [bleep].
- That's a good fist pump, Joey.
- Fist pumping like champs.
- You're going to get all the girls.
- Oh, yeah.
- Welcome to the dark side.
[dance music]
Yeah!
- You gotta get out of here. - What did I do wrong?
- Get her out.
- I'm thinking that I need to clear the air with 2.0.
I'm--I'm thinking that we write a note.
- You know the [bleep] storm
that's going to come with, right?
♪ ♪
- ♪ Hit the top floor, I got the ♪
- Ow.
Ah, son a [bleep]. [laughs]
- How many people get to say they've been bit by an ostrich?
- I know. - See?
- Thank you for that.
- You're welcome.
- So far, Thomaste's activities have contained
asinine, horrific smells.
- I had some birds in my blowout.
I think he left a nest. - I feel so scuzzy.
- I know.
- This trip is supposed to be Zen,
but I developed a new phobia.
So there's that.
- Party's here.
- I like the couches.
- Well, guys, I have a little bit of a surprise for us all.
- OK. - OK.
I just have to step out of the room
for about 10 seconds to grab it.
- What is this?
- Well, Lauren can't be pregnant again.
So we know it's not that.
[laughter]
♪ ♪
- On our initial meeting,
Thomaste reminded me that, in order to know
where you are going in life, you need
to know where you've been.
So it's time to take our journey to the next step.
Now, we never like to look back.
But sometimes we do to see how far we've come.
And tonight's the night that we're going
to take it back to our roots.
Hence, these outfits.
- I'm scared.
- It's time to party.
We are going to take it back to 2009.
Hope y'all are ready.
[classical music]
- What is that?
- Oh, my God. - [bleep].
- ♪ Figaro ♪
- This is for--
- Booyow.
Joey D taking over Italy.
Pauly D's a clown.
I had this in my suitcase.
- This right here--
- Yo, you went guido overload, bro.
- Fist pump. Push-up.
Chapstick.
- These are all of our iconic clothes from back in the day.
- Does anybody have any guesses on this one?
- Denim. Denim. Denim. - Denim. Denim. Denim.
[laughter]
- This has got to be Ronnie Magro.
- He brought those shorts with him.
- Yeah.
I feel like this is from my closet.
How'd you get this?
- I bought it for his birthday.
Y'all know who this goes to. - Yep.
- Thank God I don't have to wear it.
Oh, my God.
[screams] Who hung Crocadilly?
Yay.
- Mike.
- [bleep] [bleep].
Can't GTL.
I'm upset, man.
- Sammi Sweetheart.
- Oh, wow. She's good.
- I can't believe I'm back.
- I also might have brought something like that.
[laughs]
- What in the?
- This is Zach. - A clown?
- I'm not wearing that [bleep].
[laughter]
- What the hell? - Yeah.
Cause he's young. Get it?
24.
- In 2009, he was 15, not 2.
[baby crying] - Aiyee.
[laughter]
- I don't even know what to say.
- Now--now--
now--
- That's a JWoww shirt. - [screams]
- Oh, my God.
Yeah.
- That's your elastic.
I mean, shirt.
Where's the rest of it?
- Our security.
[laughter]
- It's perfect for him, because he did work at Karma.
- He said I was crying all the time.
[laughs] - [indistinct], OK.
[somber music]
- Give me a lighter.
♪ ♪
- I can't keep doing it. I'm done.
- Come outside.
- What is this? What is this?
- [bleep]. - What is it?
What is it?
You guys, who--who--who do you think is this one?
- Hey.
- Oh, hey. What's up?
- Buckets. - Buckets.
- [bleep].
- All right, Buckner. - I'm an angel, bro.
- All right, guys, you ready? Let's get ready for dinner.
- All right, let's do it. - Let's go.
- Karma tonight.
- Everyone's here.
This is the original cast.
All nine of us.
So dressing up as my old self tonight,
I'm [bleep] here for it.
- ♪ And I'm walking ♪
♪ It's a party ♪
♪ So go on and ♪
- We could still do the poof, I feel.
- ♪ Like ♪
♪ One, two, three ♪
- Boom. Clip.
Bye.
Still got it.
- Do you feel like you just met me again?
- I'm falling in love all over.
- Hi, babe.
- Can't believe I used to do my hair like this.
What was I thinking?
- I--
- Ooh, still fits.
- Fist pump.
Push-up.
Chapstick.
- I still got it.
- Oh, my God.
[laughs]
- All right.
- This outfit is [bleep] iconic.
And the amount of men I could have bagged.
15 years later, and I still kind of got it.
- You're not even dressed.
- Yeah, I am.
This is what I used to wear.
Everything.
No color coordination.
I'll wear the--to dinner.
I can't wear it out though.
- Hi, Dee.
- Hello. - Denim. Denim. Denim.
- A blast in a glass, bitch.
[hip-hop music]
♪ Fresh like I'm dressed for the tube ♪
- Oh, hello.
- Yo.
Well, you guys look great.
- ♪ First day of school ♪
- Oh, my--
- Louis. - Joey.
- Is that you?
- Joey, is that you?
- Like this, Louis?
- Fist pump like this, Joey.
- ♪ Fresh like the first day of school ♪
♪ Looking like your favorite snack ♪
- That's a good fist pump, Joey.
- Fist pumping like champs
- You're going to get all the girls.
- Hey guys, you look great, man.
I'm a little upset, man.
Nobody came to check on me.
[laughter]
Nobody was really checking on me, really, that much.
You know what I mean?
So I--I kind of felt alienated a little bit.
- Where's the suite, bitch?
- Ooh, we have a Snooki coming.
- Party's here.
[cheering]
- All I want to do is go down the shore...
Find a nice, juiced, hot, tanned guy...
Fall in love, get married, and have tan babies.
Which I did, bitch.
Bitch has still got it.
- Sammi Sweetheart's here.
- Ooh. Oh, my God.
- We look like we're dressed up as "Jersey Shore" characters,
but it's us.
[laughter] - Wait.
Where's Angelina?
- I think she quit.
[laughter]
- [bleep].
- Come on, Ang, we're missing out.
- I could give it two [bleep].
- Missing out on all the fun.
[tense music]
- So we all agreed to meet at the suite at 8 o'clock.
And it's 9 o'clock.
- Ready, Ang? - No.
- [bleep] does the red cheeks look like?
- I used to do this.
♪ ♪
- Hurry up.
- I'm coming.
- Put some pep in your step. Come on.
- Give me a minute.
- I have no idea how anybody could be that late
when you're in the same building.
You're next door.
- Then we have to leave, man.
- How is it on me, Ang?
- Because I literally am ready to go.
- So then hurry up.
I'm standing here.
- OK, so can we--are able to walk out right now?
- Yes.
- All right, let's go.
- Hello.
- Oh, my God.
- Why are you so late?
- What do you mean?
Are we waiting on me?
- We were. - But anyway.
Can we just go? Like--
- Everybody sit down for one second.
One second. One second.
Somebody in this room--
I'm not going to mention any names--
is real salty and real mad.
Never throw him a birthday party,
and his other birthday buddy got it.
I've been on "Jersey Shore" for, like, 13 years now
and never had a party.
- We're giving you the birthday you always wanted.
- I appreciate the notion of everybody trying
to make up for my birthday,
but I'm ready to not have my birthday party.
- We're going back to '09,
and we're throwing him a birthday.
Last year, we threw him this great birthday party.
It's Vinny's birthday.
[cheering]
That got hijacked by Angelina and 2.0.
- I wanted to give you something.
[buzzer blares]
[shouting]
- It's an engagement party.
Let's [bleep] go.
- So being the prank war king, I got something planned.
♪ ♪
I was thinking, maybe,
you guys could help me for this one.
- Wait, am I going to have to do a fake proposal?
- No.
- A fake proposal, from Justin to Sammi,
during Vinny's birthday.
It will literally shock the house.
Your portion will be quick.
So this will be two seconds of a knee,
and I'll bust in prank war champion.
And you guys-- - That would be pretty funny.
- Perfect. I'm OK with that.
- This is amazing.
- ♪ Talking wild after getting the win ♪
♪ I live my life I put it all on the line ♪
- This is going to be epic.
Prank is on you, Vinny.
Hear me, hear me, get out of here.
Get out of here.
- ♪ It's time now ♪
- ♪ We gonna party ♪
♪ Like it's your birthday ♪
- Oh, yeah. - Oh, God.
- ♪ We gonna party ♪
- It's like there's another party for me.
I seem to get a party every day now.
- Another birthday party for Vinny.
- Happy birthday.
- Vin day. Vin day.
- Whoa.
That's a big face.
[cheering]
- Happy birthday.
- They're all parties that are like making up
for not throwing me parties.
I've had like a million birthday parties at this point.
I'm having an identity crisis about my birthday.
- Wow. That's a nice view, too.
Look at the view.
- The setup for Vinny's birthday is extravagant.
- What the hell?
What am I seeing?
- Happy birthday, Vinny.
- How is that happening?
- Oh, that's so dope.
- He can never say we forgot his birthday, ever.
We're taking it back to 2009.
Vinny is finally getting the birthday that he deserves.
- This is really nice.
[upbeat music]
- Ooh.
They really went above and beyond for Vincent's birthday.
- Ooh, asparagus.
- Pasta course.
♪ ♪
- All right, everyone go around the table
and say something nice about me.
- Nah, I'm good. - Aw.
- Drawing a blank. - Nice birthday there.
- I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
- Didn't we do that already?
- Yeah, like 10 times.
- Yo, I'm feeling very, like, back in the day right now.
I think we should go around the table
and everybody give their favorite moment
from back in the day. - I got one.
- OK.
- The car ride from Long Island to Miami, me and you.
- Going to Miami, bitch.
Can't wait.
[laughter]
- I love that I got to bring Deena in.
- Party's here, times two.
- Party two's here.
- I'm a blast in a glass.
- When we went to Sicily.
My family, thank you.
My whole life, I dreamed about coming
here and having this meal.
And right now, it's coming true.
So thank you, and I love all of you.
- Beautiful.
- First day meeting everybody in the house.
Honestly, bro, it doesn't get any better than this.
- Walking in with garbage bags, I guess.
- Hey.
- Oh, hey.
What's up?
Loved sending the meatballs to Times Square.
I have two people I'm sending them to, Times Square.
It's a surprise. - Eff you, Mike.
- It's over there, see. - Yeah, you don't--
- Where are we going?
- We didn't get to go to Jake's, but that's
all we cared about.
- The cheese bed prank.
We got cheese, you old cheesy bastard.
- Looks like a pizza.
- They really got me.
- I had that chick over the other night.
Ugh.
It smelled like grated cheese, and I was like,
what is that smell?
- It smells like cheese.
- This vacation, it started off rough.
But this dinner, it was so much fun.
I think my boy Thomaste is legit.
[laughter]
♪ ♪
- [laughs]
- Like, it kind of puts things in perspective.
With this group, if you think back to day one
and how far we've come and what we've all been through,
the good certainly outweighs the bad.
2.0, you've got to give your-- your favorite moment, as well.
- Mine? All right.
- Yeah, really.
- My first-- my favorite moment--
- Don't make it too long.
- --would have to be probably meeting
all you guys and getting engaged to Angelina.
- All right.
- I mean, I'm sorry I hijacked your birthday again.
But it wasn't--it wasn't intentional.
That was the second day I was here,
and that was the only day I could do it.
- It was intentional. - There it is.
Let's go. - Don't make excuses.
- But it was--it was-- it was nice to meet you all.
You know, you always welcomed me as family.
So-- - All right. All right.
Who cares?
- Damn.
- It's a good time.
- Amazing.
- All right.
[tense music]
♪ ♪
- Oh, God.
- Can I have my phone?
♪ ♪
- There's definitely tension between 2.0 and Angelina.
It just got really awkward.
- And I'm like, oh, boy.
They're fighting tonight.
- Vinny--Vinny, happy birthday.
- This is like the best spread.
- I love birthdays.
- Right now, I'm getting a little bit excited.
It's almost prank war champion time.
When the cake comes out, Vinny's birthday
is going to get hijacked again from another proposal.
- What?
- I'm just like, wait.
I don't know if I want
to go through with Pauly's prank.
I'm freaking out.
♪ ♪
- ♪ My team we run this better ♪
- I've been eating like a gavone.
There's so much food. I know I'm not normal.
- I love birthdays.
- What?
- Pauly basically wants Justin to propose to me,
like a fake proposal, like Vinny did to Angelina.
But me and Justin have been having second thoughts.
[rewinding]
- I don't know if I'm OK with this.
This is why I feel weird, because I love you
so much that I dream to, like, have that
with you one day.
And I don't want it to over-shine
from like the real moment.
- No, I understand.
- I don't know if I could do it.
- Yeah.
[soft music]
- [clicks tongue]
- Babe, come here. You...
Relax.
- I've waited such a long time to find my match.
Like, as a young girl, you dream about
getting proposed to, to the man of your dreams.
- We don't have to do anything, obviously,
if you don't want to.
- And I finally found the man of my dreams
that it just would mean that much more to me
if I ever get it.
- Everybody's going to think
you got proposed to though.
- Yeah, and that'll take away
from the real moment,
if it does happen for me.
- Mm. - I get it's funny.
But then in the end, I actually lose.
I'm not being proposed to, and it's like
a ha-ha, funny joke.
But at the end, it's like not real for me.
What do you think about it?
♪ ♪
[fast-forwarding]
- I love birthdays.
- Aw.
all: ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
- Being proposed to, it would be something so meaningful
that I just can't seem to, like, joke around about it.
- Happy birthday, you chooch.
[cheers and applause]
- I could see, like, Sam's, like, in her head right now.
And I get it.
This may not be a good prank for her.
Sometimes, you have to back out of pranks.
They don't always work out.
- I want to go listen to music.
- And I feel like forcing everybody to celebrate
Vinny's birthday is a prank in itself.
- Sam, are you going out tonight?
- I'll go out. - Yay!
We got some people on the dirty stayout.
- No. - Why?
- Mm-mm.
- I mean, the vibe right now with Angelina
is super negative.
- If we don't go, it's--
- I know, but it's not about being rude.
It's like, we're not going out, so just say no.
- I mean, if you look at Angelina and 2.0,
it looks like they hate each other.
- All right, guys, dirty stayouts heading out.
Love you guys.
Vinny, happy freaking birthday.
Dirty stayouts are hitting the town tonight.
- I didn't even say goodbye to everybody.
- Eh, who cares? - What?
- Yo, I'm cold from just being out there,
and I had the long sleeve.
- I'm barely even drunk right now.
All right, let's go. - Guys, come here.
I got to talk to you for a second.
- All right.
- The situation with Angelina and 2.0
is a very toxic situation.
Anybody in here? All right.
We could breathe.
We all see how her and 2.0 act around each other.
They are miserable.
And if somebody was talking about me like that,
I would want to know.
Wanted to chat with RSVP for a second.
I've been just mowing over some--
some things in my brain.
And I'm a bit conflicted right now.
I'm thinking that I need to clear the air with 2.0.
I'm--I'm thinking that we write a note.
[music stops]
- You.
- You know the [bleep] storm
that's going to come with, right?
- Oh, yeah. - Angelina's going to--
- What do you know about nothing?
- What do I?
What--what do I know, right?
- Any note with this group does not end well for anyone.
- I found that in my drawer just now.
- Who wrote the note? You two.
- Stop. Stop. Stop.
- Stop. Stop.
- I mean, it's--it has been--
it's going to be bad for everybody involved,
anyone that she think knew about it.
It's just it's--Ang is going to burn the [bleep] house down.
♪ ♪
- ♪ Confident I run this walking in ♪
♪ Strutting big moves ♪
- Oh.
- Do I look fat in this outfit?
- No. - I love it.
We need a cheers that I'm here with you.
- Yes.
- Tonight is Sam's second chance to prove
that she's a dirty stayout.
- No, I can't.
- She poured her tequila out and put water in the cup.
- Nah-uh.
- What the hell?
She's not a dirty stayout.
- I have very little faith in Samantha, but we shall see.
Welcome to the dark side.
- ♪ With your simple place ♪
♪ You ain't heard of him ♪
♪ I'm the one who rumble grumble ♪
♪ And double your hustle up ♪
♪ Get you knuckle to knuckle ♪
♪ Groupies is nothing but trouble ♪
[rapping indistinctly]
- Yeah!
This is exactly like Karma back in '09.
♪ ♪
This meatball is sauced.
- You got to get out of here. - Oh, man.
- You gotta get out of here.
- What did I do wrong?
- Justin's working at Karma.
He's kicking out Gina, because she's drunk.
I mean, it's all just full circle.
- She's getting out of here. - What did I do?
- You're done. You're done.
- I'm going to be honest.
Sam, you could be a little boring sometimes.
- I am boring. - So--
- I say it.
- 'Cause that's how you-- - No, not tonight.
- [bleep]. Get out.
- I forced you, because I knew you were going home tomorrow.
- I had the best time.
- But you know what really brought her out?
Chris' shirt. That's what really--
- Yeah.
[cheers, laughter]
- Exactly like what it was.
- Oh, God. Yo. Yo. Yo.
Yo, not in front of my girl, though.
Not in front of my girl.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- So I feel Sammi, as a redo for dirty stayout, killed it.
- Aw. - You did.
You did a great. - You did.
- Crushed it. - I could cry.
I just want to take this moment to thank you all
out there for believing in me that I can,
in fact, be a dirty stayout.
I'm sweaty and smelly.
- You're dirty stayout.
- You're a dirty stayout. - Wait. Let me--
- You did it, Sam.
- She's dirty.
She's a dirty stayout.
[laughter]
- I like Justin.
Right?
- He's fun.
All right.
all: Dirty stayouts!
- All right, love you, Nicole.
- Bye, guys. - All right, love you.
I don't know where my house is.
- ♪ Think about a rendezvous, babe ♪
♪ I don't need love, it's true, babe ♪
♪ All I want is this song to sing ♪
♪ Get in on the action ♪
♪ Feel an instant attraction ♪
♪ All I want is this song to sing ♪
♪ ♪
- Why are you in my heels?
- [laughs]
- Oh, my God. have you been, like, rummaging in the room
while I'm sleeping?
- Good morning. - Hey.
- How are you?
- A little crappy.
- How was your birthday party?
- Amazing.
- I wanted to chat with you for a second.
I've been just mowing over some things in my brain.
- You sleep good?
- Yeah, better than usual.
- Good.
- Thank God we didn't go out last night.
- Yeah, it's freaking--you need a break sometimes, right?
- Yeah.
- We should get up, start our day.
- Look at him.
- We got about three business days to get ready,
so we'll be good.
- Is Mike going to write this note?
- I hope--I hope he slept on it.
I don't know.
- It's just going to get her mad, no matter what.
- She's going to lose her [bleep].
- If history has taught us anything,
it's that it's better to not be involved.
I don't want Mike to be the messenger anymore,
so I'm hoping that he can kind of just sit--sit this one out.
I also think history with notes in this group is just no bueno.
- Yeah. - It takes about, you know--
- Yeah. - --a good 10 to 15 years
to laugh at it.
So maybe-- - Yeah.
- --let's not. Maybe let's shelve it.
- Yeah. Uh-huh.
I really hope that her and him
get the help that they deserve.
And--
- I think that's the right decision.
- The right decision. - Yeah.
I do think that my wife feels
that my feelings are valid.
But at the same time, getting too close
to Angelina and her relationship,
it gets a little messy.
- Well, on that note, I'm going to go take a shower.
- OK.
I'm just going to back off.
If she wants to continue this relationship, Godspeed.
So for now, we're going to have to keep
this note in the drafts.
Do you think we made a good decision?
- Great decision. - I think we did.
- I love you.
- Oh, what?
What's happening?
- It's just too much now.
I don't think I can handle it every day.
- So you're bothered by things I do?
- Come down and see if we can figure this out together.
- It's just weird now.
- I'm your everlasting punching bag.
[glass shattering]
- ♪ Here we go again, got the flows to that life ♪
♪ If we see the valleys and my road and them ♪
♪ Soaking them beat them down and I sewed 'em ♪
- I can't believe we're leaving already.
Like, I'm sad.
Tonight, I'm leaving.
I'm kind of like, wait, am I cutting this trip too short?
Like, I don't want to go home.
I love the roommates, and I'm sad to be going home.
- Last night was so much fun.
- We're officially dirty stayouts.
- It hurts there, though.
[duck quacking]
- Hello.
- Hey, Mike.
It's Chad from Chad's Monster Trucks.
- There has been something that I've been working on
for BDS's third gender reveal.
My main idea is jumping into a monster truck
and jumping over some [bleep].
- Unfortunately, I got some bad news for you, man.
- Oh. What?
What's happening?
- We were headed to your location in Tucson,
and our trailer broke down.
So we're not going to be able to get the truck to you.
- Gender reveal number three was supposed to be epic.
I don't know what I'm going to do right now.
I really need to get back to the drawing board.
I have a little bit of a situation right now.
- OK.
- I had a very big gender reveal
planned for my third baby.
- Congratulations.
- Now, let me just give you a little bit of context.
I'm sure you're familiar with "Godfather."
OK? - Yes. Absolutely.
- "Godfather I" was amazing.
"Godfather II" was even more amazing.
But then when they got to "Godfather III"
it just kind of fell short.
So do you have any ideas?
- What I would highly recommend is we have Old Tucson.
It's grand.
It's epic.
- Epic? - Epic.
- I could blow some stuff up, possibly?
- Yes.
[line ringing]
- Where you at, my guy? - What's up, my guy?
I'm in the lobby, brother.
And we have a little bit of a--
a little bit of a situation.
I need the boys to come down and see
if we can figure this out together.
- Yeah, we'll be right there.
- All right, bye.
- So we've been summoned to the lobby.
- He says he needs our help.
- RSVP is on the job.
- Mike, what's up? - Let's go.
- ♪ Drip drop drip ♪
♪ Just a little bit of ♪
♪ Drip drop drip drop ♪
- We have to have a gender reveal.
I went downstairs to the front desk,
and we are on our way to almost, like, a movie set.
I'll be honest, I really don't know what to expect.
All I know is they said it's going to be a movie.
We can blow things up,
and RSVP are the main characters.
- Cool.
- I'm down to make a movie.
Like, I really love acting.
All you girls out there, this is proof
that real love does exist.
I'm so excited.
I got my new [bleep] ass done.
I got my new [bleep] nose done.
I don't give a [bleep].
Zero grams of carbs.
100 grams of [bleep] whoop-ass.
Reality star is just my day job.
[laughter]
- Cool.
You had me at blow [bleep] up. - Yeah.
- ♪ That's what I'm talking about ♪
♪ That's what I'm talking about ♪
♪ And when you see me ain't no doubt ♪
♪ That's what I'm talking about ♪
- Let's get out of here.
Ooh.
My arms are like--are tired.
Going out and partying with the meatballs is a blast.
But the next day, you pay for it.
- I wonder how the meatballs are feeling.
- Like, they do that all the time.
- I could sleep all day, I think.
[laughs] Whatever.
Last night was so fun.
- ♪ Look at you knuckle to knuckle ♪
♪ Groupies is nothing but trouble ♪
♪ Hug you while rubbing your muscle ♪
♪ Never let nothing distract you ♪
[line ringing]
- Deena?
- Hey, are you alive?
- Are you alive?
It's 2 o'clock in the afternoon.
- We went to bed at like 4:00.
- Oh, we are rock stars.
- But what a fun night.
We only have a couple more days here.
So I feel like we have to take today over.
- I'm down to do a meatball day.
♪ ♪
The best trips are the ones that me and Deena plan,
because we know it's fun.
- We drink by the pool, then maybe we do, like,
a fun, like, party thing at night.
- Meatball day. [bleep] it.
- I'm down for that.
Chris?
♪ ♪
- Meatball down.
- Tell Chris he has to come.
[silence]
♪ ♪
- All right, OK.
Meatballs.
- He's a meatball. He's nice.
- You have to come.
[silence]
- It's a meatball night.
♪ ♪
[cheering]
- I get a good night's sleep.
[soft music]
I'll have to check my itinerary.
- Christopher, you're coming.
- I don't think I have a choice.
- Remember our conversation from last night?
Maybe we write a note.
- You know the [bleep] storm that's going to come with,
right? - I don't know.
Maybe you should sleep on it.
- I had a conversation with the wife this morning.
She kind of agreed with--with y'all.
Just let them sink or swim on their own accord,
and stay out of it.
- OK.
- ♪ All day, all night ♪
♪ I get to [indistinct] ♪
♪ Type of big shot caller ♪
♪ You can holler dollar ♪
- Let's go.
- Just give me two minutes, Ang.
- Are you working out again?
What the--like, it's just too much now.
I don't think I can handle it every day.
- So you're bothered by things I do?
- It's just weird now.
- What's weird is you care so much.
- This has actually been an issue with Vin for a while now.
I'm going to be [bleep] 40 with kids, at this point.
- Right. No, I get it.
- And he's sitting there at 33 years old
[bleep] working out.
I love the fact that he is very into his physique.
But the problem is, is that when that's your whole life,
that's a little weird.
- That's me. I'm me.
I'm not anyone else, am I? Am I you?
- All right, there's no talking to you.
Just leave me alone.
- I'm not anyone else, am I? Am I you?
- There's just no talking to you.
I don't want to talk.
I'll see you in a little bit.
- All right.
- It's like, come on.
- I'm your everlasting punching bag.
- Yeah.
- ♪ Yeah ♪
[twangy music]
- We're like, in the middle of the desert.
- It looks like a ghost town thing.
- Man.
- This looks like where Speedy Gonzalez
fights with the Road Runner.
♪ ♪
- Mike, where are you taking us?
- I'll be honest, man--
[laughter]
--I have no idea.
You're going to have to feel this one out here.
- Howdy, gentlemen. Welcome.
How can I help you guys?
- We want to make a movie.
- A porn. - No.
No, don't listen to these gentlemen.
We have a big gender reveal planned.
It is my third baby.
- He's pregnant. - Congratulations.
You look fantastic. - Yes.
And we said, we got to do it big.
OK? And we got to make a movie.
- I think we can help you out with that.
What sort of cowboy fantasies do you have?
- Right to the whorehouse.
- I know, for the purposes of the gender reveal,
maybe we can save the damsel in distress,
which would be my wife.
And then blow some [bleep] up.
- OK. Yeah.
- You're ready for the pool.
You're ready for the pool.
Ooh, so nice in here.
My favorite is the queso.
- Where's everybody else?
- I think they're all dead from last night.
I don't know.
[light music]
♪ ♪
- Oh, it does feel--
I feel like I'm going to orgasm.
- I want to do a cucumber press.
- We'll do two of those. - Two of those.
- I'd like to try it.
Ooh, what kind of vodka is that?
Ooh, I just smelled the cucumbers.
- Isn't it so refreshing?
- Ooh. I might chug it.
♪ ♪
- So cool.
[laughter]
- It's like a movie.
- Whoa, this is like--
- Oh, wow. this is cool.
- There's a new sheriff in town.
OK?
And his name is Big Daddy Sitch.
Me and my crew against your crew.
You stand no chance.
- All right, so here's what we're going to do to start out.
You're going to be at the bar with your wife
having a drink or two.
We'll have a cowboy or two here.
You're going to say something that they take offense to.
One of them is going to grab a beer bottle,
knock you over the head with it.
They're going to pick you up, take you out the door.
You're going to enlist the help of your friends
to come beat up the cowboys, right?
Your beautiful wife is going to be tied up right over here.
We're going to have a dynamite plunger out here.
And then it's kind of a switch over into the reveal
from that point, right?
Big as an explosion as possible.
- As big as possible.
- ♪ Go out in the nighttime ♪
♪ Go crazy ♪
- Hi. - Hello.
Angelina's here.
- I hate [bleep] fighting with 2.0.
So I'm going to walk down to the pool
and chill for a minute.
I need to relax.
Where is everybody else?
- I haven't seen anyone. - Cheers.
- To the meatball day.
- Do you know what the activity is?
- No, I have no idea.
- Yay. You're drinking?
- It's all I've been doing.
- So we decided, Mike planned the trip.
Great hotel. Great food.
- Yeah.
- But it's a free for all over here.
What is happening?
- We've been saying that all day.
- There's no plans.
So the meatballs are taking over.
We're doing a meatball day, meatball night.
We're all drinking. We've got a party bus.
- With the boys? - With the boys.
These boys suck at [bleep] planning anything.
Love them.
Not the greatest planners.
- It's going to be a fun fricking day.
- All right. Cool.
- Meatball day.
- Where's that chooch?
- Say it a little louder.
- You're a chooch.
- I'm a chooch? I'll show you chooch.
[shattering glass]
- [laughs]
- Bring the neck brace back in.
[laughter]
- Ugh.
Ugh.
- Yeah, absolutely.
- Stay.
- Ooh.
[applause]
- Oh.
- Yo, you hit him with the chooch train.
- These stunts are pretty cool.
We get to punch people and not get sued.
[laughs]
- This is one of the coolest things that I have ever done.
But my wife does not like--
[screaming]
--ideas that I like.
[screaming]
- We need a medic. - Medic.
- Probably has to go to a hospital.
- Oh, that's Mike.
- Oh, my God.
- Where?
- Oh, right there.
- That's him jumping.
- [screams]
- We're going to do a gender reveal out here.
- Maybe do, like, more safety requirements this time around?
- I guess we'll see what she says.
Boys, I think our work here is done.
♪ ♪
- They were getting it on last night.
I heard it. [banging]
- That was me begging to get out.
[laughter, cheers]
- Oh, my God!
- Oh!
- Yeah!
- Look at me, bitch!
- [screams]
- Birthday girls.
- Party. - Whoa.
Let's do it.
- Yeah!
- [screaming] Oh, my God!