1 00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:14,680 So, I've pitched this piece on dating discourse. 2 00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:15,960 You know, like, body count. 3 00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:18,760 "She's a four, but maybe six after five pints." 4 00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:21,240 Age, income bracket. All of it's numerical. 5 00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:23,120 That car's been idling outside for two days. 6 00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:25,920 You know that girl 7 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:29,280 who fucks 1,000 guys in 24 hours for content? 8 00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:32,479 I mean, she wasn't fucking a person. She was fucking a number. 9 00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:34,320 I mean, her spirit was dominated, 10 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:37,520 well gang-raped, almost, by market logic, essentially. 11 00:00:38,160 --> 00:00:41,000 Yeah, individuals reduced to abstraction. Kierkegaard. 12 00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:43,320 Yeah, but why is it you have to take something modern, 13 00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:44,720 and then you make it for cunts? It's... 14 00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:48,480 Someone's fucking jimmied the window. 15 00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:50,800 Shit! Fuck! 16 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:54,280 -My fucking keys have gone. -Why do you lease a Mercedes anyway? 17 00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:56,040 Where's that money coming from? Do you owe again? 18 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:58,960 Look, do me a favor, yeah? Could you just take Matty for the week, all right? 19 00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:01,080 -While I sort this shit out. -Okay, we need to formulate 20 00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:03,520 some sort of custody agreement so you cannot keep doing this. 21 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:04,640 Also, you look like shit. 22 00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:06,400 All right. It's the fucking Ritalin, it's my skin-- 23 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:08,160 Well, what is the excuse for the rest of it then? 24 00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:10,000 Because you keep saying, "Oh, I'm working flat out," 25 00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:11,640 and then I hear stories of you out on benders 26 00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:12,760 and sharking random women. 27 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:14,840 Well, hang on, you're in a fucking relationship! 28 00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:16,880 All right? You don't have jurisdiction over my sex life. 29 00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:18,320 We literally fucked once. 30 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:22,600 You do realize that absolutely no one knows that you exist, right? 31 00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:24,480 Fuck off. 32 00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:14,440 Edward, hiya. 33 00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:16,079 -Sorry, what time is it? -Who cares? 34 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:18,520 Good news. We've heard from Tender's counsel. 35 00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:20,560 I think they've come in way too hot. 36 00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,560 Their response to the "Tender, investigated" piece, 37 00:02:22,640 --> 00:02:24,720 it's as subtle as a Slade song in truth. 38 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:28,480 Injunction, threat, defamation. I mean, it's a real dog's dinner. 39 00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:32,040 And I did a little digging, and it seems upper management there 40 00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:36,560 are a proxy for the Norton Media Group, so I'm happy to send you to Accra. 41 00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:40,360 Look, thank you, Ed. You won't regret it. 42 00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:45,360 Listen, the main thrust of all their ire is collusion and market manipulation 43 00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:49,000 between you and these short sellers. I mean, that's a shot in the dark, right? 44 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:52,800 Tell me you aren't inveigled with these fucking short sellers. 45 00:02:54,600 --> 00:02:56,000 Yeah, I'm not-- I've spoken to them, 46 00:02:56,079 --> 00:02:58,400 -but, you know, tangentially. -Oh, "tangentially." 47 00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:00,560 Like, "elliptically"? Whatever the fuck. 48 00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:02,600 Just clean the slate with those contacts, okay? 49 00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:05,720 Yeah. Look, man, I'm working on a follow-up. 50 00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:09,360 Far more meat on the bone. Major discovery in Sunderland, all right? 51 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:11,200 Well, I don't like being woken by bullies. 52 00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:14,000 And it's in the public interest for us to respond aggressively, 53 00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:16,440 especially if Tender have designs on the UK consumer 54 00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:17,720 with this new banking app. 55 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:20,760 I'll get legal to word a stern and curt rebuke. 56 00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:24,000 If I know anything about people who go this nuclear this early, 57 00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:27,079 you can bet your loneliest penny the cunts have a glass fucking jaw. 58 00:03:27,160 --> 00:03:28,600 -Yeah. -Okay, bye. 59 00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:38,840 -Hey, what? -Why are you watching my house? 60 00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:40,920 What? Brother, I'm waiting for my girl. 61 00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:43,720 Get the fuck off my street, yeah? 62 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:47,920 Brother came here all tooled up looking like some hard wanker, yeah? 63 00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:50,280 Get the fuck away from my car, bro. 64 00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:54,079 -Fuck! -Pussyhole faggot. 65 00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:01,840 All we've done is share non-private information. 66 00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:05,600 Your article was a non-event. It helped our short for all of 20 minutes. 67 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:07,600 Well, proving a connection might be enough. 68 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:09,360 Now, I've started working on an air-gapped computer 69 00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:12,160 -so it can't be hacked. -But you're calling me on my work phone? 70 00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:14,600 When are you publishing the follow-up? 71 00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:17,560 -I can't say. -You can't or won't? 72 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:21,120 Bro, we gave you the Sunderland piece. You write it up and disseminate it. 73 00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:23,880 -That was agreed. -No, it was never agreed. 74 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:28,000 Oh, fuck off. It was fucking implied. Come on. You're not being fair at all. 75 00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:30,640 Yeah, I think you fundamentally misunderstood my ethics here. 76 00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:33,920 It is important from here on out, we deny any kind of communication. 77 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:36,400 -And that's ethical, is it? -No, it's sensible. 78 00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:38,120 I appreciate your time. 79 00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:45,280 If he doesn't publish again soon, what's our next negative catalyst? 80 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:47,560 Market's pricing this app launch as a positive one. 81 00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:49,880 Stock climbs any higher, we'll face a margin call. 82 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:52,640 We feed the Sunderland piece to another reporter. 83 00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:55,320 How long a lag time to get it understood, 84 00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:57,520 -past seniors, printed? -Why don't we self-publish? 85 00:04:57,600 --> 00:04:59,320 We'll just get Sweetpea to write it up, 86 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,280 like Hindenburg, GlassHouse, that sort of beat. 87 00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:03,280 It's too clear a conflict of interest. 88 00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:05,960 Okay. Well, obviously, we would use the appropriate disclosures. 89 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:09,440 One wrong word, we open ourselves up to a civil suit. 90 00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:11,680 Plus, our name has no cachet. 91 00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:14,480 Who gives a solitary fuck about "SternTao's view"? 92 00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:16,240 It doesn't matter if Tender is a house of cards 93 00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:17,840 if we don't have any breath to blow. 94 00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:21,960 Don't you think I fucking grasp that by now? Fuck! 95 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:27,040 I wanna see the mortgage piece more prominent on the landing page. 96 00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:29,520 And wipe the fucking crypto component off it. 97 00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:31,680 I've given that note three fucking times. 98 00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:34,760 And yes, Robin, that is a user-over-profit decision 99 00:05:34,840 --> 00:05:36,680 because the UI is part of the messaging 100 00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:38,000 and the messaging is everything. 101 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:40,920 Yeah, the tone matters to our backers in government too. 102 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:45,120 And why is the phrase "Pierpoint powered by Tender" 103 00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:47,000 so prominent on the UI? 104 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:50,120 Whitney cleared that. This is his brainchild. 105 00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:51,560 Has been for some time. 106 00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:55,600 Okay, I didn't stake myself on the build of this app 107 00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:59,400 to facilitate Pierpoint giving the already upwardly mobile 108 00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:02,520 a fucking clickable option to passively compound their wealth! 109 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:03,800 Okay? 110 00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:07,200 Bannerman. You wanna give us a state of play, please? 111 00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:10,560 Yes, sir. Two hundred and fifty million assets under management. 112 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:14,920 Eric's 5 percent of fund, ten bucks. Pierre, the anchor, 100 bucks. 113 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:18,400 Further 140 million when we combine all other invested parties. 114 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:20,600 With Kenny as our primary broker, 115 00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:24,040 we borrowed a further 250 million via Deutsche. 116 00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:26,160 -That's our margin. -100 percent gross leverage? 117 00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:30,080 Yes, 250 million equity, 250 million margin. 118 00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:33,880 We remain excited by the potential synergies 119 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,360 of the partnership showcasing 120 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:37,600 Al-Mi'raj-Pierpoint's wealth management offering 121 00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:40,000 -within the Tender app. -You know, I've long thought 122 00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:42,320 that the copy should be "Tender powered by Pierpoint," 123 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:45,280 -not "Pierpoint powered by Tender." -Our lawyers went back and forth on it 124 00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:47,440 while red-lining, arguing points of construction. 125 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:50,280 We have the investment managers. We have the customer base. 126 00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:54,000 That's baked in for you in exchange for a platform 127 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:55,600 and a route to more retail customers. 128 00:06:55,680 --> 00:07:00,440 By any metric, to any investor's eyes, Tender is the more valuable asset here. 129 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:02,320 The market caps are moving in opposite directions, 130 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:05,280 and we see this simply as offering a dinosaur a digital future. 131 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:09,160 Why am I here negotiating something I assumed had already been negotiated? 132 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:11,600 That isn't what this is. 133 00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:14,800 We wanted to illustrate how amenable we've been 134 00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:17,800 in the hope of asking you to solidify the partnership 135 00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:19,560 with a further billion-dollar investment. 136 00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:25,720 I really think we're missing a trick by not featuring Henry more prominently. 137 00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:27,800 What does that mean, and what would it even look like? 138 00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:32,520 Leaning into the tech side of fintech. A buzzy launch. Named entertainment. 139 00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:36,280 Charli XCX expounding on the virtues of a digitized spending report 140 00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:39,840 -to track her nocturnal trips to the ATM. -Yeah. Yeah! But a public launch, 141 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:43,240 with translation to socials, it's still achievable. 142 00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:46,920 It might be smart to de-risk a little ahead of Tender rolling out their app 143 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,760 because streets expect it to land and rally. 144 00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:50,960 Guys, we can't just start throwing down longs. 145 00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:53,200 Then we'd be like any other run-of-the-mill long/short. 146 00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:55,680 What if Dycker's next article lands as flat as his last one? 147 00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:57,120 Not with the Sunderland piece. 148 00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:59,880 -Yeah, and when is that coming? -Yeah, FYI, we are edging from gray 149 00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:02,400 to fucking black on market manipulation stuff. 150 00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:06,040 I've been speaking with the former CEO, Jonah Atterbury. 151 00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:09,120 I haven't spoken business with him yet. I'm just softening him up. 152 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:11,200 -Is he replying? -Oh, yeah. 153 00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:13,480 He is replying! 154 00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:15,760 You know, it's an open secret that Al-Mi'raj 155 00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:18,520 is divesting Pierpoint back to the market piecemeal. 156 00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:22,920 Pierpoint's a fucking legacy name. It's sun-bleached font on signage. 157 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:25,400 Gym bags on eBay. Ironic Fincore. 158 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:27,640 Tombstones for a once great thing now dead. 159 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:30,680 We are modernity knocking at your door, offering a leg up. 160 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:33,640 And for that, all we're asking for is... is a pittance. 161 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:36,360 When does the... 162 00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:38,280 when does the press release go out and to who? 163 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:40,880 Tabled for 1:00 p.m. PST, Thursday. 164 00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:43,120 Right, so there is time to go bigger if we want to. 165 00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:46,640 Usual channels, TechCrunch, Wired, Breaking Banks podcast. 166 00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:49,240 Yeah, I think that Henry should feature on more lifestyle podcasts. 167 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:52,000 There should be a fucking tariff on podcast equipment. 168 00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:55,040 Right, well, I want a redraft of the release 169 00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:56,760 and my notes enacted, and we can go from there. 170 00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:07,520 Yo. 171 00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:09,400 What's up? 172 00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:13,240 Henry isn't happy about how the app launch is being positioned. 173 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:15,400 'Cause your husband hasn't landed on something he likes. 174 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:17,640 Robin says you want to "eventize" the launch? 175 00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:20,760 Yeah, there should have been a laid to eventize it from the start. 176 00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:23,360 We gotta stop using the word "eventize" like it's a serious word. 177 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:24,840 I don't think this is funny. 178 00:09:25,760 --> 00:09:30,520 You know, if I had a proper job title, a role in the comms department, 179 00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:33,800 -this would have been done properly. -You want to work directly under Robin? 180 00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:35,320 I want to give Henry a pulpit. 181 00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:39,080 If Henry wants to be prominent, if he wants to be responsible for this, 182 00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:41,960 I'm not gonna get in his way. But I'm a little disappointed in him. 183 00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:43,680 Thought I was hiring a rock star. 184 00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:45,920 He was like a fucking ghost in our meeting with PRA. 185 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:49,400 -Yeah, his confidence is coming back. -Slowly. 186 00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:55,400 Have you ever thought about laying a path in the company for Hayley? 187 00:09:58,800 --> 00:09:59,920 What do you see in her? 188 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,680 I think she may have some information that could help us with Dycker. 189 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:04,640 But she might need some sweetening. 190 00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:07,880 Bright young things attract bright young things. 191 00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:09,760 Speaking of, when was the last time you spoke 192 00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:11,240 to your friend, Harper, by the way? 193 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:13,560 -You guys still close? -Why? 194 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:18,120 I got a suspicion her venture's short. 195 00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:27,280 She's probably being spurred on by her former boss. 196 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:30,200 They're sort of a poisonous double act. 197 00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:34,120 They like to enable each other's worst instincts just 'cause... 198 00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:36,840 Well, 'cause they're fucking insecure. 199 00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:40,920 I can... I can think of a comms angle to deal with them. 200 00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:43,640 Great. 201 00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:56,600 -What was it, two black cross? -Whatever's most premium. 202 00:10:57,240 --> 00:11:01,040 -Red, 180. -One, please. Do you only do coke? 203 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,160 You don't carry any liquid 'shrooms, do you? 204 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:05,520 No, mate. 205 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:10,360 Can't be front office with a pinstripe that chalky. 206 00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:14,000 Unless you're at a povvo dive like Royal Bank of Scotland. 207 00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:27,280 No, don't fucking touch it yet. I told you. 208 00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:28,400 Please. 209 00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:30,680 Please, Daddy. 210 00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:37,160 If you want more treats, you'll say it. 211 00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:39,800 I'm a good little whore for Papi. 212 00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:48,400 Get off. 213 00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:53,840 -Yeah, hi. Hello, Mary. -Hello. 214 00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:56,640 Yeah, I-- Yeah, I wasn't expecting to hear from you. 215 00:11:56,720 --> 00:11:59,760 -I hope you're well. -Yeah, as well as, I guess. 216 00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:03,600 -Yeah, and you? -We thought we'd make arrangements 217 00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:04,920 for you to see Hugo. 218 00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:07,080 It was important that we got a few things in order before-- 219 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,680 You-- No, no, you don't owe me an apology. 220 00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:11,000 This isn't an apology. 221 00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:12,880 Yeah. Yeah, yeah. No, no. Of course, of course. 222 00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:14,440 Let me send through the details. 223 00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:15,920 You know, whenever, whenever. I'm very-- 224 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:17,560 -I'll send those through, thank you. -You-- 225 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:27,560 They took my kid away from me. 226 00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:31,920 Maybe they've got their reasons. 227 00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:35,240 You ever tried shutting the fuck up? 228 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:42,560 One more thing. Do you know the WebHorizon guys? 229 00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:44,680 They asked Jonah and I to attend a bunch of times, 230 00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:47,640 but I always passed 'cause I never thought the two of us 231 00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:49,440 were aligned enough about the future of the company 232 00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:52,640 to share a stage and have it not be a... stock-negative event. 233 00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:54,640 Well, it might be a bit late in the day 234 00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:57,640 for them to accommodate us, but if I say 235 00:12:57,720 --> 00:12:59,800 that Henry's presenting a government darling 236 00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:02,840 and then float the idea that the Business Secretary might attend, 237 00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:05,880 it may combat the negative press coming out of FinDigest. 238 00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:06,960 You can make that happen? 239 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:10,800 I mean, it would flatter the programmers, for sure. 240 00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:12,800 Let me proffer it. See where I get. 241 00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:15,120 Great. And have FinDigest responded to legal yet? 242 00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:16,280 That piece was so undercooked, 243 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:18,440 it undermined whatever point they were trying to make. 244 00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:21,200 But Louisa says they're doubling down. 245 00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:24,840 Okay, I'm gonna speak to Percy. 246 00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:27,240 He's the business editor at the Sunday paper. 247 00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:30,360 -Robin's on board? -He will be. 248 00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:35,480 Fuck yeah. I got a 3:00 p.m. to Accra, but I'll be back soon. Twenty-four hours. 249 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:37,600 God, that's a long way for such a short trip. 250 00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:40,400 Small management issue which requires some hand-holding. 251 00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:42,520 Hayley. Do me a favor. 252 00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:44,240 Assist Yas with whatever she needs at the launch. 253 00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:45,640 What, you don't need her in Ghana? 254 00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:47,280 She's supposed to split the load with Henry, 255 00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:50,520 so let her take half of his load off you. 256 00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:00,200 -Hey. -Jonah Atterbury? 257 00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:01,480 Yeah, speaking. 258 00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:03,360 Did I get you at a bad time? 259 00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:07,800 Just interrupting the prologue to a story that I won't be able to finish. 260 00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:10,600 You know, your voice sounds like I imagined. 261 00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:14,600 Normally, chicks want some kind of payment before getting personal so fast. 262 00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:19,400 Jonah, I actually have a slightly ulterior motive for my call. 263 00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:21,240 I work as a research analyst. 264 00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:23,320 We believe your former employer is misrepresenting 265 00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:24,800 -how they make their money. -What the fuck? 266 00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:26,400 -Please don't hang up. -Sorry, but... 267 00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:29,960 So much of this work is just finding nuggets of encouragement, okay? 268 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:31,320 People only open up 269 00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:34,600 if the incentive outweighs their incentive to stay silent. 270 00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:38,240 Yeah, I'm a little loaded for riddles right now, 271 00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:41,200 and trust me... I don't need your money. I mean-- 272 00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:44,760 I imagine that you have a bone to pick with Whitney Halberstram. 273 00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:46,880 You know, since he fired you. 274 00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:49,680 Well, I'm in the middle of suing the prick for defamation. 275 00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:54,600 -What the fuck is this? -Well, he shit on you, right? 276 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:57,640 That fey little shit. 277 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:01,040 -I loved him. -In your legal complaint, 278 00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:03,240 -is there anything that could help me? -Hey, baby. 279 00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:05,160 -Well, my... -Want a private dance? 280 00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:11,320 ...or our correspondence was subpoenaed. My team have access to gigs of emails. 281 00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:14,280 Would you share them with me? I can just ping you my email. 282 00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:16,520 So, anything not pertaining to me is redacted. 283 00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:18,600 I don't see how that would be useful. 284 00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:21,200 The more I think about it, the more I see 285 00:15:21,280 --> 00:15:23,480 I was blinded by history with him. 286 00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:25,120 -How do you mean? -Small things. 287 00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:29,600 I noticed he'd check the stock price like an ECG last two years. 288 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:32,640 Down days, he'd mope around, suicide watch. 289 00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:34,360 Up days, he was a prince. 290 00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:37,560 Me coming to him with a question, leaving with two more. 291 00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:40,440 Rabidly social. Never seemed to fuck. 292 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,640 I also never saw him drunk. 293 00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:46,960 Clients, investors, auditors, he'd drown them in Cristal, 294 00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:50,080 leave them butt-fucked by a hangover lobotomy. 295 00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:52,320 "Boy, that cad from Tender 296 00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:55,120 parties like a pre-crisis Florida realtor." 297 00:15:55,640 --> 00:15:58,320 Well, thank you, Jonah. I... 298 00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:04,000 I hope I brought you pleasure in unexpected ways. 299 00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:06,040 Listen, if you're gonna play me like this... 300 00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:09,760 do me the courtesy of burying him deep enough 301 00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:12,680 that his kind don't respawn. 302 00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:14,920 I will. 303 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:18,120 Why the fuck is Whitney in Africa again? 304 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:21,320 Guy sold me a fucking dummy. I don't want to be a host 305 00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:24,560 for another capital markets vulture like Pierpoint. 306 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:29,960 The vision was meant to be utilitarian, not some defibrillator for a zombie bank. 307 00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:32,000 You still control how it's perceived. 308 00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:33,840 Whitney's spoken to WebHorizon 309 00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:35,920 about allowing you to make more of a splash. 310 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:38,160 You're gonna be on the main conference live stream. 311 00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:40,240 I'll make sure it's picked up by all the trades. 312 00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:41,800 Yeah. 313 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:47,760 Why are the two of you colluding on what are clearly executive decisions? 314 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:52,440 "Colluding"? Henry, we're strategizing about how to maximize your potential. 315 00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:55,240 We both see it as integral to the success of the co-- 316 00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:59,560 Actually, you know what? Fuck that. I see it as integral to your success. 317 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:02,520 -Okay? To our family's. -Yeah, a press release will allow us 318 00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:04,440 to frame the narrative and control the audience. 319 00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:08,079 Robin's words sound completely dead in your mouth. 320 00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:09,800 Look, I get it. 321 00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:13,160 You've stood on stages before and been embarrassed. 322 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:16,319 -But, look, just come here. -Not in here. 323 00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:18,079 -Not in here. -Who are you afraid of? 324 00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:21,720 I don't have it in me to be torn apart again. 325 00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:24,480 Do you believe in this company? 326 00:17:26,839 --> 00:17:30,280 Do you have any idea how tiring it is to have people 327 00:17:30,360 --> 00:17:34,080 constantly question your integrity because you fucked up once? 328 00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:35,360 Once! 329 00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:39,920 Listeners will lean in to the belief of the teller, 330 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,200 so go and tell it. 331 00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:51,120 You always make me chase the most egoistic part of myself. 332 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:52,400 Do you know that? 333 00:17:54,120 --> 00:17:57,120 'Cause without it, Henry, nothing would fucking happen. 334 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:03,120 Thanks again for introducing us to Moritz. He's a real firebrand. 335 00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:05,040 His "In Defense of Jus Sanguinis" piece 336 00:18:05,120 --> 00:18:07,000 was a bit of a poke in the eye, even for me. 337 00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:08,560 You think he actually believes this stuff? 338 00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:10,400 Who cares? As long as people are clicking. 339 00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:12,480 Your husband said he was in a product meeting. 340 00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:15,720 Our tech editor said he now expected Henry at WebHorizon. 341 00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:16,920 It's all smooth sailing. 342 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:19,320 Well, we're supposed to be waiting for Robin. He's our head of comms, 343 00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:21,520 -but I think we should just crack on. -So, what are we thinking? 344 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,000 Some kind of inside look at Tender? 345 00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:26,040 -Henry's second act? -Robin Williamson, comms. 346 00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:30,160 We'll take any winning highlights you can offer, 347 00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:32,120 but there's a strategy around the rollout. 348 00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:34,880 I actually wasn't thinking about any kind of puff piece. 349 00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:37,480 It's more of a tip towards a scandal. 350 00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:41,400 We've been made aware of direct contact and conspiracy between the business press 351 00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:43,200 and predatory hedge fund activity. 352 00:18:43,280 --> 00:18:45,840 We shouldn't let this flare up any more than necessary. 353 00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:49,640 -We're using legal. -Legal tennis won't show any teeth 354 00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:52,480 and it won't stop another article. I don't think Whitney agrees 355 00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:54,360 with stoking this particular fire. 356 00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:56,400 Actually, I do. 357 00:18:56,880 --> 00:18:58,600 Hey, Robin, please don't speak for me. 358 00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:01,720 We should be proactive against anyone trafficking fake news. 359 00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:05,760 FinDigest put a hit piece out on Tender 360 00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:08,080 full of vague and unsubstantiated allegations, 361 00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:09,280 and they're in league 362 00:19:09,360 --> 00:19:11,960 with people who stand to profit off of harming us. 363 00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:15,400 Fat cat fund managers, City lawlessness. When are we not telling this story? 364 00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:17,800 I think this is a unique set of circumstances. 365 00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:20,600 I mean, hamstringing a government-backed success 366 00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:23,600 before it starts to run, benefiting the UK consumer, 367 00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:28,160 -I mean, there's a public interest angle. -Burgess at FinDigest is a bit of a twat. 368 00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:30,520 Sort of virtue-signaling, man-of-the-people shyster. 369 00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:33,560 I think our readers will enjoy hating on the hypocrisy of it all. 370 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:36,120 Public stoning of hypocrites is like bloodletting. 371 00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:38,560 Makes us feel better about our own hypocrisies. 372 00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:40,440 And we have proof of this? 373 00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:45,120 I do, yes. 374 00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:46,920 Can coordinate. 375 00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:48,680 I'll send you the photos. 376 00:19:51,360 --> 00:19:54,560 Let us sidebar and decide on the shape 377 00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:57,600 and how alarmist to go with the presentation. 378 00:19:57,880 --> 00:19:59,120 Thank you, Yasmin. 379 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,280 -Good nose. -Thanks. 380 00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:09,560 Yasmin, stay on the line. Robin, you're not needed now. Thanks. 381 00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:21,000 Is he off? 382 00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:24,080 -Yeah, he's gone. -Yeah, Robin's not aggressive enough. 383 00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:26,440 He's a little bitch. Sorry. 384 00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:28,960 What proof do you have for Norton? 385 00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:31,800 I have photographic evidence. I'll send it to you. 386 00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:35,360 Harper Co., whatever the fuck they're calling themselves, 387 00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:37,120 they don't have the capital to touch us. 388 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:39,480 I'm gonna invite her in. 389 00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:41,200 She needs to see the scale of things 390 00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:42,960 so she knows how much she's bound to lose 391 00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:44,120 if she plays in the dirt. 392 00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:45,720 Do you think she's short because of Dycker? 393 00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:50,040 Morality might as well be fucking Latin to her. 394 00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:00,160 Does he... 395 00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:02,680 does he know who I am? 396 00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:07,360 We've not been to our house in Biarritz since... 397 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:10,400 -Yeah... -Well, it's a hard place to be, 398 00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:12,240 given how much time we used to spend there together. 399 00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:15,840 Practically, we're slightly worried about the disrepair. 400 00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:17,760 We need to visit soon. 401 00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:25,600 -"Hugo Smith." -Yes. 402 00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:28,040 That will be the surname on his new passport 403 00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:29,440 so we can take him abroad. 404 00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:32,040 Not permanently, of course. 405 00:21:32,120 --> 00:21:33,840 -Just on holiday. -I made a little cup of tea. 406 00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:36,120 -If you sign off on the name change... -I made a tea for Mummy. 407 00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:38,360 ...we can look at setting some further visitation. 408 00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:41,360 Will I ever get to be alone with him? 409 00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:44,400 I don't think that would be a good idea. 410 00:21:46,120 --> 00:21:47,880 You don't get to set any terms, I'm afraid. 411 00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:49,240 I made a... 412 00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:53,240 Yeah. 413 00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:56,080 Yeah. 414 00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:10,760 Hugo will grow up in a house of love. I promise you. 415 00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:14,680 I appreciate you being civil with me. 416 00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:17,960 Oh, Rishi, any anger I feel towards you 417 00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:20,480 is dwarfed by the scale of my faith in God. 418 00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:25,200 Every choice you've made denies it, but... 419 00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:29,920 even a man like you doesn't stand outside His grace. 420 00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:34,240 Yeah. 421 00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:43,880 -Here's a good spot, d'you think? -Yeah. I think here's great. 422 00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:45,840 -Hi, hi. How are you? -Hi. 423 00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:48,440 Hey. 424 00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:50,480 Hi. 425 00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:55,960 The FinDigest journalist is in the audience. 426 00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:59,600 Let him watch. Unless... 427 00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:02,680 if he's making you uncomfortable then we can tell him to leave. 428 00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:07,320 No, no, it's not him. I just-- I don't know. 429 00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:10,040 I don't know, I just don't really feel like I can... 430 00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:14,760 -ground myself, you know? -Do you suffer from anxiety? 431 00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:16,800 I do sometimes. 432 00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:18,320 Try magnesium. 433 00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:20,200 Just after what happened between us... 434 00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:25,360 and your husband... and... 435 00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:28,960 whether it was right, like... 436 00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:35,080 -professionally, even personally. -Well, we're all consenting adults. 437 00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:39,760 -Right. -And... 438 00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:43,000 you enjoyed it. 439 00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:45,440 So, it can't be that that's making you uneasy? 440 00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:48,720 Calabasas? 441 00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:53,080 I mean, you're the one that instigated it, right? 442 00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:55,120 The way you've looked at me since we met. 443 00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:58,240 Maybe you're sublimating experiences, 444 00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:00,880 making a good thing bad. 445 00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:03,040 That loser hack, 446 00:24:03,120 --> 00:24:06,200 he came into your house under false pretenses. 447 00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:08,360 You don't remember what happened. 448 00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:11,200 I mean, God knows what happened. 449 00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:14,600 The price of his action is your trauma. 450 00:24:15,360 --> 00:24:18,760 You can't let him take away your agency as well. 451 00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:21,760 Yeah. 452 00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:26,080 -Yeah, you're probably right. -I am. I am right. 453 00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:28,280 It was assault. 454 00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:39,720 -Yeah? -Yo. 455 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,760 -Just wanted to wish you good luck. -Get the fuck in here for a second. 456 00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:46,880 What is this fucking disappearing act you keep pulling in Africa? 457 00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:49,200 I was just smoothing the adoption of our app. 458 00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:52,320 Yeah, I'm not comfortable with the Pierpoint relationship. Okay? 459 00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:55,080 This app shouldn't be some Trojan horse 460 00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:58,560 for capital markets apparatus. We're not a fucking broker! 461 00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:01,240 Well, you couldn't be more wrong. Why should investment planning 462 00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:04,080 only be the purview of the elite? Give the man his broker. 463 00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:09,640 Yeah, but my role here isn't gonna be ambassadorial, okay? 464 00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:12,800 I want it to be financial and strategic. 465 00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:15,080 I don't wanna have to keep checking my corners. 466 00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:19,920 I agree. Total transparency. Which is also what the app is offering. 467 00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,480 Like we promised. ISAs, ETFs. 468 00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:25,320 You're giving people the dignity of being able to choose for themselves. 469 00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:28,280 Pierpoint totally fucked the valuation of Lumi. 470 00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:31,480 Come on, man. Is it even really Pierpoint anymore? 471 00:25:32,360 --> 00:25:33,360 Hey. 472 00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:37,120 Go out there. 473 00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:39,600 Tell them about your conscience. 474 00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:42,840 It's just a speech. 475 00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:49,680 It's just a day. It's just a speech. 476 00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:51,600 It's just deliverance. 477 00:25:57,400 --> 00:26:01,160 -Don't bullshit me. -Henry, I hired you 478 00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:03,800 'cause I look at people like you 479 00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:06,360 and I innately believe in them more than I believe in myself. 480 00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:10,200 Fuck knows what that says about the fascism of our neurology, 481 00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:14,560 but everything in me screams you are more, I am less. 482 00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:18,600 You're a man I'm incapable of lying to. 483 00:26:28,120 --> 00:26:29,920 You'll be great, okay? 484 00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:33,600 You got this. 485 00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:52,960 How you became the Labour prime minister's appointed pet, I will never understand. 486 00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:56,400 -Pussycat with nine lives. -Thank you for... 487 00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:01,240 the humility in introducing me. I really do... 488 00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:03,760 appreciate your belief. 489 00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:07,160 You have your wife's frankly inappropriate relationship 490 00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:10,160 with a certain precocious junior minister in my department to thank for this. 491 00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:13,440 Do you know how ugly political sketch artists make me look? 492 00:27:14,360 --> 00:27:16,480 -And they're right to mock my hypocrisy. -Ms. Dearn? 493 00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:18,200 Toeing the party line, that's it. Good luck. 494 00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:24,840 Thank you. 495 00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:32,520 -First, let me restate... -I really don't think I can do this. 496 00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:33,600 No. 497 00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:36,600 Do you think I could have a Lorazepam or something? 498 00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:38,960 I don't know if that constitutes a relapse. 499 00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:41,680 Tender is at the vanguard of a sector 500 00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:43,560 we have championed since coming into government... 501 00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:45,720 Listen, if you need to, of course, of course you can. 502 00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:48,840 Why would you say that to me? You know that's not an option. 503 00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:50,760 You're meant to talk me down off the fucking cliff. 504 00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:52,760 Are you testing me? Henry, are you using again? 505 00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:55,800 Its aims align with our core values. 506 00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:59,280 Equity and transparency for the British consumer... 507 00:28:00,560 --> 00:28:03,360 -How dare you say that to me now? -No, I don't... 508 00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:05,960 Why can't you accept that I want what's best for you? 509 00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:09,680 I'm pleased to introduce to you this afternoon... 510 00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:12,520 -Oh, fuck. -Tender's CEO, Henry Muck. 511 00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:15,960 You're gonna be amazing. 512 00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:39,920 "So much of money, 513 00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:46,600 it's... its structures and... and trading 514 00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:48,960 are deliberately blackboxed." 515 00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:52,920 "For every winner, there must be a loser." 516 00:28:55,240 --> 00:28:56,640 "Fine for a market." 517 00:28:57,920 --> 00:28:59,760 "Not fine for a society." 518 00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:08,280 "Let... let Tender 2.0 519 00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:14,320 be the opening salvo against this hard reality." 520 00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:20,080 "Now, I'm not a neoliberal cultist, 521 00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:21,560 hopped up on the lie 522 00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:23,960 that the market is the solution to everything." 523 00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:30,280 "Interests can be co-opted, of course. We are... we're not an NGO." 524 00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:33,360 "We're looking for value for our shareholders." 525 00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:34,640 "But... 526 00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:38,000 but I would like it known... 527 00:29:41,120 --> 00:29:43,200 that we have put our conscience 528 00:29:43,720 --> 00:29:47,040 at the heart of all we do here at Tender." 529 00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:57,680 Allow me to be... 530 00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:02,520 be sincere with you all for a moment... 531 00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:08,400 and tell you about my conscience. 532 00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:15,720 I have failed prodigiously. 533 00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:20,000 I have succeeded... 534 00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:23,080 unfairly. 535 00:30:25,360 --> 00:30:26,960 It's a matter of public record. 536 00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:31,480 If you are sick of listening to me, 537 00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:35,760 I understand, believe me. 538 00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:40,960 But this is how I see the world, 539 00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:45,560 even with the blinkers of my privilege, 540 00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:48,760 and perhaps especially because of them. 541 00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:53,960 And if you think I am incapable of seeing the world that way, 542 00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:57,760 then you are saying I am inhuman... 543 00:30:59,280 --> 00:31:02,160 that I am incapable of empathy. 544 00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:04,120 No. 545 00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:07,120 I am only human. 546 00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:12,680 He's laying it on a bit thick. Will anyone buy this? 547 00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:14,880 If he buys it, then they will. 548 00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:18,320 We have to believe that we can change 549 00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:21,720 the intransigent structures and expectations 550 00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:25,120 of where we happen to be born and to whom. 551 00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:29,520 This is the bedrock of our app's philosophy. 552 00:31:30,560 --> 00:31:31,920 Frictionless, 553 00:31:32,520 --> 00:31:38,600 transparent access to the full suite of banking and investment products, 554 00:31:38,680 --> 00:31:41,960 demystifying the complex world of finance 555 00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:45,120 for all members of the Great British public. 556 00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:49,440 Now, observe the cumulative effect of what happens 557 00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:51,560 when you give people that power 558 00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:55,600 and stop patronizing them with handouts, 559 00:31:56,320 --> 00:32:00,600 admonishing their vices and sneering at their virtues. 560 00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:03,800 Today... 561 00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:08,400 I offer you my sincerity. 562 00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:16,800 And sincerity is now the world's rarest commodity. 563 00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:20,480 Not here. 564 00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:22,440 Not at Tender. 565 00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:25,360 Not under my watch. 566 00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:34,960 Thank you. 567 00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:48,280 Let me walk you through our first offering. 568 00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:54,080 So, my sincere thanks to all of you for coming today, 569 00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:57,320 and if you have any further questions, we'll meet in the press room afterwards. 570 00:32:57,800 --> 00:32:58,960 Thank you. 571 00:33:03,840 --> 00:33:05,960 See what happens when you listen to me? 572 00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:08,440 Dude! 573 00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:10,040 Good? 574 00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:17,560 -Good job. -Good? 575 00:33:23,080 --> 00:33:25,040 Does Tender have plans around AI integration? 576 00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:27,880 Yeah, we have hopes that on a two-year roadmap, 577 00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:30,640 we'll see AI-powered financial advice, 578 00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:33,080 predictive analytics, and spending controls. 579 00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:36,800 Can you tell me rather than what Tender hopes to do, 580 00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:38,720 what Tender actually does? 581 00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:40,720 Hey, I'm sorry, can you repeat the question? 582 00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:43,160 Yeah. Tender. 583 00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:46,080 Sorry, what does it do? 584 00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:49,280 What do you mean, what do we do? 585 00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:51,040 Well, it's a pretty straightforward question. 586 00:33:51,880 --> 00:33:55,000 But Mr. Halberstram, given how quickly you severed all ties with me 587 00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:56,440 after I profiled you... 588 00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:58,280 The FinDigest writer who's trying to fuck us. 589 00:33:58,600 --> 00:34:00,400 Well, I take it you loathe simple questions. 590 00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:03,640 You're our friend from FinDigest, right? 591 00:34:03,840 --> 00:34:06,080 It's a great piece, by the way. Really well-researched. 592 00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:09,719 What is it that we do? We are a successful payment processor 593 00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:13,440 leveraging our existing user base to make targeted acquisitions 594 00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:15,760 and become a market leader in the UK fintech space. 595 00:34:15,840 --> 00:34:17,280 Right, it's just a growing number of people 596 00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:19,120 who think your numbers don't stack up. 597 00:34:19,199 --> 00:34:23,719 Well, you're trying to prove a prejudice, so everything you look at is prejudicial. 598 00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:27,080 These people you're speaking about, do they brief you or do you brief them? 599 00:34:27,159 --> 00:34:28,800 Or does it matter so long as you're making money 600 00:34:28,880 --> 00:34:29,920 while you twist the knife? 601 00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:31,800 Right, you're not denying anything though? 602 00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:34,480 We are regularly audited by Ellis & Jung. 603 00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:37,120 We have equity analysts poring over our balance sheet. 604 00:34:37,199 --> 00:34:38,480 What is there to spotlight 605 00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:40,760 other than the brutal success of our story? 606 00:34:41,360 --> 00:34:43,600 And your processing facilities in Sunderland? 607 00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:51,520 We've got outposts that process payments all over Africa, 608 00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:53,960 Europe, Asia-Pac, and the UK, 609 00:34:54,040 --> 00:34:57,240 including, but not exclusive to, the North East. 610 00:34:57,320 --> 00:35:00,880 It's just, you see, I think your fixation on the future is... 611 00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:03,280 it's a smokescreen for the lies of your past. 612 00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:05,200 Okay. Well, we'll happily sidebar. 613 00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:07,240 We have investor days. We have earnings calls. 614 00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:09,480 -We're wide fucking open. -Next question. 615 00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:12,240 Yes, Hannah Murphy at the FT. 616 00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:16,800 How do you intend to cater to an older, potentially AI-naive demographic? 617 00:35:17,720 --> 00:35:20,760 Well, thank you, Hannah, for the sensible question this time. 618 00:35:21,720 --> 00:35:25,320 No, I think you're right. AI is the great unknown of our time... 619 00:35:25,880 --> 00:35:27,680 -Blue? Right. -It was blue. Yeah-- 620 00:35:27,760 --> 00:35:29,320 Really? I blame Peter Risdale for everything-- 621 00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:31,760 -James. Can we talk? -Yeah, mate. 622 00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:33,480 No, I'm just putting the final touches 623 00:35:33,560 --> 00:35:35,160 -on the article. -Now. 624 00:35:36,240 --> 00:35:37,280 All right. 625 00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:43,720 My dad used to look at me like that. 626 00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:49,920 -What is it? -This may run tomorrow. 627 00:35:52,520 --> 00:35:57,560 My name, your name, short sellers. You know, corrupt, 628 00:35:58,080 --> 00:36:00,520 money-grabbing enemies of British innovation. 629 00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:02,800 They've even managed to link this Eric Tao bloke 630 00:36:02,880 --> 00:36:04,840 to the fucking cultural revolution. 631 00:36:05,360 --> 00:36:08,280 And there's heavy allusions to you being a drug user, 632 00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:10,600 which you're not, are you? 633 00:36:12,160 --> 00:36:13,600 Yeah, you know what? No, no. 634 00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:16,520 You know, displays of brute force in a velvet glove? 635 00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:19,560 It's disgusting, and I'd love to brain Norton 636 00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:22,280 and scatter the pieces all over his chessboard. 637 00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:23,760 But I can't. 638 00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:27,320 -What's this say? -Well, you-- 639 00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:29,160 Yeah, of course I've spoken to short sellers. 640 00:36:29,240 --> 00:36:31,360 It says, "Cavorting with short sellers," 641 00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:33,440 -does it not? -Well, being "in league" with them 642 00:36:33,520 --> 00:36:35,400 is a fabulist construction. 643 00:36:36,240 --> 00:36:38,720 They're fucking meaningless words, man. 644 00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:41,600 They're words. That... that is what Halberstram does. 645 00:36:42,160 --> 00:36:43,960 Where's the proof of profiting? 646 00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:46,280 You know what? Let's start here, all right? 647 00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:49,400 When I'm targeted this cheaply, I expect the support of my editor. 648 00:36:50,240 --> 00:36:54,440 Look, why are we prostrating ourselves to anonymous pictures? It's blackmail. 649 00:37:01,160 --> 00:37:02,600 I'm not perfect. 650 00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:08,280 I spent a lot of my early years lying. 651 00:37:10,400 --> 00:37:13,680 Then I stopped, and my world got better. 652 00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:21,800 Who is Hayley Clay? 653 00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:28,480 She... 654 00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:31,480 she works at Tender. 655 00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:37,040 Okay, well, you coerced, and according to the complaint, 656 00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:38,680 -assaulted her. -No, no. 657 00:37:38,760 --> 00:37:40,640 -I never fucking touched her. -They're pressing charges. 658 00:37:40,720 --> 00:37:42,240 They're weighing charges. That's what it says. 659 00:37:42,320 --> 00:37:45,360 -Ed, Ed, Ed, I didn't touch her. -Well, even if I wanted to believe you, 660 00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:47,880 what the fuck were you doing in her fucking house? 661 00:37:47,960 --> 00:37:49,560 What am I supposed to say? 662 00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:52,280 -And I can't, in good conscience-- -I was doing my job. 663 00:37:52,360 --> 00:37:53,560 -I was looking for-- -James. 664 00:37:53,640 --> 00:37:56,120 -I was just trying to get a story. -James. James! 665 00:37:57,200 --> 00:37:58,840 I can't, in good conscience, 666 00:37:58,920 --> 00:38:01,360 not make this an internal disciplinary matter 667 00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:03,160 and recommend your termination. 668 00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:05,920 Come on. Ed. 669 00:38:06,400 --> 00:38:08,680 -No, no, no, no, no. You-- -What do I do? 670 00:38:08,760 --> 00:38:09,760 -I'm sorry. -Mate. 671 00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:12,200 -You don't have to do that. -You're intrepid. 672 00:38:12,720 --> 00:38:14,000 You're fucking smart. 673 00:38:15,120 --> 00:38:20,080 And in your gut, I know you know that when you went to her flat, 674 00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:23,080 you were making a fatal fucking error of judgment. 675 00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:32,160 Mate, I need... I need this. 676 00:38:36,640 --> 00:38:38,480 I can't do anything now. 677 00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:45,680 I'm burning my retinas out trying to parse these Atterbury emails. 678 00:38:45,760 --> 00:38:47,640 -Anything material? -Not really. 679 00:38:47,720 --> 00:38:50,640 I mean, Whitney never really talks about business, at least in writing. 680 00:38:50,720 --> 00:38:53,080 I mean, maybe that's the un-redacted correspondence. 681 00:38:53,440 --> 00:38:54,880 One thing that is interesting though, 682 00:38:54,960 --> 00:38:58,240 is his most active interlocutor is a guy called Tony Day. 683 00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:00,600 I mean, they speak pejoratively about Jonah, 684 00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:02,040 mostly from Tony's side. 685 00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:06,240 It reads like sycophancy to Whitney. It's like playground bullying. 686 00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:07,800 Who is Tony Day? 687 00:39:08,240 --> 00:39:10,320 Based in Accra. I looked up his CV online. 688 00:39:10,400 --> 00:39:13,000 A Durham alum. Decade-vet Morgan Stanley ops. 689 00:39:13,080 --> 00:39:16,520 Drops to Daiwa Securities. Maybe redundancy or firing? 690 00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:18,000 Lands in Accra in 2011 691 00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:21,880 when Ghana's GDP growth is batshit, like low teens. 692 00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:27,480 Has a failed telecom biz. Has a failed high-speed rail thingy. 693 00:39:27,560 --> 00:39:30,560 And then, all of a sudden, he's the CFO of Tender in Africa. 694 00:39:30,960 --> 00:39:33,880 Meteoric over promotion even for a white guy. 695 00:39:33,960 --> 00:39:35,200 And look at this. 696 00:39:37,360 --> 00:39:40,760 When have you ever seen a 50-million-dollar acquisition closed 697 00:39:40,840 --> 00:39:42,120 with a novelty check? 698 00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:46,080 That's what they paid for this third-party processor, SwiftGC. 699 00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:48,960 It's artificial, right? Like, gut read? 700 00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:51,440 Presentation as pretense. 701 00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:57,160 He looks like the hated chairman of a lower league football team. Not a... 702 00:39:57,480 --> 00:40:00,040 Not the CFO of a multinational payment processor. 703 00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:02,520 It's a big song and dance. It's cheap. 704 00:40:03,280 --> 00:40:05,680 I wonder if anyone's flown to Accra and knocked on their door. 705 00:40:08,560 --> 00:40:09,840 I'll call you back. 706 00:40:09,920 --> 00:40:12,000 -You wanted to see us? -Yeah, I did. 707 00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:14,720 I want to propose a reshuffle. 708 00:40:15,640 --> 00:40:18,400 Yas is gonna be co-running communications for us going forward. 709 00:40:18,640 --> 00:40:21,600 -On what grounds? -Forward-looking ones. 710 00:40:22,080 --> 00:40:24,680 Whitney, you know I won't stand to share the post, 711 00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:26,600 especially with someone so ill-qualified. 712 00:40:26,680 --> 00:40:28,960 I think qualifications are secondary to instincts. 713 00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:31,280 I also anticipated that you'd have too much pride 714 00:40:31,360 --> 00:40:33,000 to share the post, in which case... 715 00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:35,720 Yas, if you'd like to do the honors. 716 00:40:36,240 --> 00:40:37,240 Do what? 717 00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:40,120 Your first task as my new Head of Communications. 718 00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:43,240 -I don't follow. -Let him go. Fire him. Dismiss him. 719 00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:46,200 -She doesn't have the power to do that. -Well, she does if she accepts the post. 720 00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:47,480 -Do you accept it? -I do. 721 00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:49,600 -She accepted it, so... -We can work together. 722 00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:53,200 -I don't think we can. -Right. So, I guess you're dismissed then. 723 00:40:55,200 --> 00:40:57,720 -You're kidding me, right? -You're a little bit... 724 00:40:58,200 --> 00:41:00,440 trad for what we want to do next. 725 00:41:03,200 --> 00:41:04,360 This isn't a startup. 726 00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:07,760 You should Google the Dunning-Kruger effect. 727 00:41:08,840 --> 00:41:10,040 Good luck. 728 00:41:16,240 --> 00:41:17,240 Thank you. 729 00:41:17,920 --> 00:41:19,600 You did a great job on Dycker. 730 00:41:20,120 --> 00:41:22,800 You stopped the story from running, deserve this. 731 00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:26,000 Well, those photos seemed to tell the whole story. 732 00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:27,080 Yeah. 733 00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:31,080 Hayley's yours if you want her, but you, me, Henry... 734 00:41:32,560 --> 00:41:34,040 we ride together, we die together. 735 00:41:41,680 --> 00:41:43,680 Whitney gave me the green light to promote you. 736 00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:46,200 Comms role, under me. 737 00:41:48,680 --> 00:41:52,320 -You okay? About earlier? -Oh, yeah. Sure. 738 00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:55,600 It's not like I haven't been sexually harassed before. 739 00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:57,880 I was a child model for fuck's sake. 740 00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:04,480 You're promoting me because you really rate me, right? 741 00:42:04,840 --> 00:42:06,200 Yeah, of course. 742 00:42:08,240 --> 00:42:10,920 Thought it was because of how good I sucked your husband's cock. 743 00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:16,800 I wonder, why did it feel like it was your cock in my mouth? 744 00:42:18,320 --> 00:42:19,400 I liked that. 745 00:42:20,480 --> 00:42:23,640 An ex-boss told me an anxiety relief thing once. 746 00:42:25,360 --> 00:42:27,400 -Breathing exercises? -No. 747 00:42:27,480 --> 00:42:33,160 No, he said, "Hayley, baby, when it all gets too much, 748 00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:37,400 just remember, not a single one of us gets out of this alive." 749 00:42:37,480 --> 00:42:38,840 Doors opening. 750 00:42:46,600 --> 00:42:47,960 Thank you, Mommy. 751 00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:55,480 So, I just got off the phone with Wilhelmina, 752 00:42:55,560 --> 00:42:57,240 CEO of Al-Mi'raj-Pierpoint. 753 00:42:57,760 --> 00:43:00,400 They offered the financing we asked for in the form of a CoCo. 754 00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:04,040 -A contingent convertible bond. -So, they're protecting their downside. 755 00:43:04,120 --> 00:43:06,600 -Have they seen something they don't like? -It depends how you look at it. 756 00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:09,520 It's a good bridge while we grow our deposit base, 757 00:43:09,600 --> 00:43:10,920 repayment only gets triggered 758 00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:13,440 if stock falls beneath a certain threshold, 759 00:43:13,520 --> 00:43:15,560 which we know it won't, not with the momentum we have. 760 00:43:15,680 --> 00:43:19,080 Yeah, well, given how distressed an asset Pierpoint is 761 00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:21,200 and how readily Al-Mi'raj wants rid, 762 00:43:21,280 --> 00:43:25,440 it might be smart to deploy some cash, silently buy some equity in it. 763 00:43:25,520 --> 00:43:27,960 Gives us leverage in the partnership longer term. 764 00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:30,040 Means we can finesse them a little. 765 00:43:30,800 --> 00:43:32,200 I think that's very smart. 766 00:43:32,280 --> 00:43:34,600 You could see the hard-on in Dycker's knickers 767 00:43:34,680 --> 00:43:37,200 when he thought he was calling us out in front of an audience. 768 00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:39,960 Can I just say, I followed your speech online 769 00:43:40,040 --> 00:43:43,120 and it was just what was needed. A man possessed. 770 00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:45,280 Brilliant. 771 00:43:54,080 --> 00:43:55,400 Thank you for... 772 00:43:56,440 --> 00:43:58,320 everything you said to me before I went out. 773 00:43:59,840 --> 00:44:01,160 Your belief meant a lot. 774 00:44:02,400 --> 00:44:04,760 -Permission to speak out of school? -Please. 775 00:44:06,280 --> 00:44:07,880 Some people see people as just, 776 00:44:09,120 --> 00:44:11,520 moving parts in a social process. 777 00:44:12,240 --> 00:44:14,520 Objects that can either help or hinder. 778 00:44:15,600 --> 00:44:17,960 There's few things more toxic in this world than... 779 00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:21,560 privileged people who are intellectually insecure. 780 00:44:24,400 --> 00:44:25,920 You see, that's quite loaded. 781 00:44:28,240 --> 00:44:29,880 If you want to insult my wife, 782 00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:32,440 have the good grace to come out and say it. 783 00:44:33,640 --> 00:44:34,960 I see people differently. 784 00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:40,000 You have an innate worth that supersedes the life you were born into. 785 00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:44,200 I believe that about myself too. 786 00:44:44,280 --> 00:44:46,360 It's what I live to achieve and I yearn to do. 787 00:44:48,160 --> 00:44:49,520 Show the world my true value. 788 00:44:53,160 --> 00:44:54,640 Well, we helped each other do that. 789 00:44:58,600 --> 00:44:59,800 At least for a day. 790 00:45:24,200 --> 00:45:26,880 -No, no, I'm going for a piss! -Fuck. 791 00:45:27,280 --> 00:45:28,680 Nah, these shitters are horrific 792 00:45:28,760 --> 00:45:30,640 -for doing gear. -Oh, shit. 793 00:45:34,360 --> 00:45:35,800 -You all right, mate? -All right. 794 00:45:38,040 --> 00:45:39,560 I know who you are, by the way. 795 00:45:40,880 --> 00:45:41,920 You know. 796 00:45:42,880 --> 00:45:45,400 Sorry, I just had to say something. 797 00:45:46,840 --> 00:45:48,280 I'm sorry about what happened to your wife. 798 00:45:48,800 --> 00:45:51,320 You know, for what it's worth, I think they demonized you. 799 00:45:53,760 --> 00:45:54,960 I deserved it. 800 00:45:56,960 --> 00:45:58,600 I remember the skew of coverage. 801 00:45:59,080 --> 00:46:00,800 And it would have been very different 802 00:46:01,120 --> 00:46:04,200 if you weren't you and, you know, she wasn't... 803 00:46:05,280 --> 00:46:08,280 you know, no offense, but posh and white. 804 00:46:08,920 --> 00:46:13,360 They said the guy who went down for it was schizophrenic, right? 805 00:46:13,440 --> 00:46:17,400 Or BPD, or something, some diminished responsibility thing. 806 00:46:18,520 --> 00:46:20,920 Yeah, her family are fighting the manslaughter charge. 807 00:46:21,560 --> 00:46:23,040 He got hospital disposal. 808 00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:29,160 Brain went west after years of smoking weapons-grade skunk. 809 00:46:31,080 --> 00:46:33,880 -So his lawyer argued. -Fuck's sake. 810 00:46:35,520 --> 00:46:38,200 -Mate, you saw it? -Do you want a cigarette? 811 00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:40,280 Cigarette? 812 00:46:41,400 --> 00:46:44,320 Fuck off, you urchin! Go on! Fuck off! 813 00:46:46,640 --> 00:46:50,520 I've seen him operate outside here. He looks for wasted people. 814 00:46:50,720 --> 00:46:51,920 Them fags are laced 815 00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:54,680 with some fucking spooky PCP or some shit. 816 00:46:54,800 --> 00:46:57,240 It'll fuck you up, then he'll take you round the corner, 817 00:46:57,320 --> 00:46:59,520 and he'll turn you over for your wallet and your watch. 818 00:46:59,600 --> 00:47:00,960 Right. Cheers, mate. 819 00:47:01,040 --> 00:47:02,160 -Cheers. -No worries. 820 00:47:02,240 --> 00:47:03,840 London's full of shit-heels on the take. 821 00:47:05,920 --> 00:47:07,720 -Yeah. -Do you want a pint? 822 00:47:08,120 --> 00:47:09,480 Yeah, mate, let's go. 823 00:47:10,240 --> 00:47:13,560 -Do you want a pint? -I could go an half. 824 00:47:16,920 --> 00:47:17,960 Stella. 825 00:47:20,440 --> 00:47:21,680 That one's on me, lads. 826 00:47:27,640 --> 00:47:31,440 Mate, I'm flying to Accra next week. I can still self-publish. 827 00:47:31,760 --> 00:47:33,440 Someone will fucking pick it up, trust me. 828 00:47:33,520 --> 00:47:35,760 I have to admit something though. I have to admit something. 829 00:47:35,840 --> 00:47:37,880 I know you too. I know you too. 830 00:47:37,960 --> 00:47:42,000 I did a little work for Harper Stern before that silly cunt ghosted me. 831 00:47:42,080 --> 00:47:45,440 -Oh, right. You've been following me. -Well, I looked into you a little, yeah. 832 00:47:46,760 --> 00:47:48,080 You broke into my house. 833 00:47:48,160 --> 00:47:50,200 I was just wondering whether to short Tender PA. 834 00:47:50,280 --> 00:47:53,040 -I thought there might be a little edge. -You think I'm the type to tell you 835 00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:54,560 when to fucking pile in before publishing? 836 00:47:54,640 --> 00:47:57,640 We are all just trying to secure our future, aren't we? 837 00:47:58,720 --> 00:48:02,400 -Did you follow me tonight? Be honest. -I just wanted a pint. 838 00:48:02,480 --> 00:48:04,400 And that pub is full of them. 839 00:48:04,680 --> 00:48:06,160 -Pints? -Nah. Women. 840 00:48:06,240 --> 00:48:08,240 I've got the disease, mate. I love birds. 841 00:48:08,320 --> 00:48:10,200 -Then what the fuck you doing there, man? -What? 842 00:48:10,280 --> 00:48:11,680 It's a fucking gay bar. 843 00:48:14,840 --> 00:48:16,880 I met this one bird, yeah? Hayley. Hayley. 844 00:48:16,960 --> 00:48:20,960 Fucking corporate smoke show. She fucking threw it on me, man. 845 00:48:21,040 --> 00:48:24,360 Fucking asked me to go down on her, yeah? So I do. I fucking look up... 846 00:48:25,160 --> 00:48:26,480 she's fucking passed out. 847 00:48:28,280 --> 00:48:29,760 Hope you stopped, mate! 848 00:48:31,120 --> 00:48:33,880 Fuck off. I'm fucking sick of it. 849 00:48:34,040 --> 00:48:38,320 I'm sick of the fucking forced discourse between the sexes, right? 850 00:48:38,440 --> 00:48:41,680 Not everything has to be a fucking minefield these days. 851 00:48:43,520 --> 00:48:46,320 I mean, she gave me her fucking consent, man. 852 00:48:50,160 --> 00:48:53,240 Can I ask you a really... really prurient question? 853 00:48:57,440 --> 00:48:58,440 Yeah. 854 00:48:59,600 --> 00:49:00,600 What was it like... 855 00:49:01,840 --> 00:49:03,400 you know, just... 856 00:49:04,680 --> 00:49:06,280 seeing your wife die like that? 857 00:49:10,600 --> 00:49:12,200 -What? -Fucking sorry, mate-- 858 00:49:12,280 --> 00:49:15,440 Fucking-- No. Stupid fucking question. Forget it. 859 00:49:18,800 --> 00:49:21,400 You dissociated, right? 860 00:49:21,480 --> 00:49:23,280 -Right? -Yeah. Yeah. 861 00:49:23,720 --> 00:49:25,760 Mate, I saw this fucking girl, right, 862 00:49:25,840 --> 00:49:28,120 getting fucking DP'd on my feed the other day. 863 00:49:28,600 --> 00:49:30,720 You know, these blokes just fucking... 864 00:49:32,400 --> 00:49:35,000 Just fucking sharing her, mate. You know, jacked guys. 865 00:49:35,080 --> 00:49:37,720 Must have been, like, fucking 18 max. 866 00:49:37,800 --> 00:49:42,200 Yeah, just black Air Force Ones, and all tech fleeces, fucking balaclavas. 867 00:49:42,280 --> 00:49:43,680 You know, the "mandem" just fucking... 868 00:49:45,640 --> 00:49:47,360 Just fucking coming all over her face. 869 00:49:47,440 --> 00:49:50,160 Fucking cum, tears, real fucking horror show, 870 00:49:50,240 --> 00:49:53,360 -you know, mate? -It's... it's like I'm-- It's like I'm... 871 00:49:53,440 --> 00:49:55,000 I'm watching it, you know, but... 872 00:49:56,480 --> 00:49:59,360 -it really isn't me. It isn't... -Hey, mate. 873 00:49:59,440 --> 00:50:01,080 Can you fucking turn the music down, man? 874 00:50:10,720 --> 00:50:13,200 The worst kind of person, because he might be sick and selfish, 875 00:50:13,280 --> 00:50:14,760 but you feed off his sickness. 876 00:50:15,120 --> 00:50:17,480 I bet you have no idea what it's like to feel love! 877 00:50:17,840 --> 00:50:20,080 We used to be creatures of action. And now-- 878 00:50:20,200 --> 00:50:22,400 Well, now we're just inter-passive spectators, you know? 879 00:50:22,480 --> 00:50:26,520 I never... I never once dreamed of her. You know, good or... or... or bad. 880 00:50:26,600 --> 00:50:28,200 Because we've become means of production. 881 00:50:28,840 --> 00:50:31,400 Right? We just... we just age without getting old, right? 882 00:50:31,480 --> 00:50:35,080 Stuck on a wheel of production and consumption. 883 00:50:35,160 --> 00:50:38,880 I mean, it's bread and circuses, man. Streamed in glorious 4K. 884 00:50:38,960 --> 00:50:41,160 Maybe I should just... I should just kill myself. 885 00:50:43,440 --> 00:50:47,160 No, man. Suicide, mate? Don't make me laugh. 886 00:50:48,200 --> 00:50:50,640 You are too selfish to conceptualize a world 887 00:50:50,720 --> 00:50:53,760 without yourself in it, having every base need catered for. 888 00:50:53,840 --> 00:50:56,760 Our granddads, yeah? They used to fucking paint Marilyn Monroe 889 00:50:56,840 --> 00:50:58,680 on the side of a fucking plane, 890 00:50:58,760 --> 00:51:01,360 and then they'd use that plane to firebomb Dresden. 891 00:51:01,440 --> 00:51:03,960 They'd be lucky enough to meet one Marilyn-class type lady 892 00:51:04,040 --> 00:51:05,280 in the flesh in their lives. 893 00:51:05,360 --> 00:51:08,720 But us, man, we fucking jerk off to a dozen gang-banging, 894 00:51:08,800 --> 00:51:10,960 squirting Marilyns before dawn, and we wonder why 895 00:51:11,040 --> 00:51:13,120 we don't have the get-up-and-go to go die in a war. 896 00:51:13,200 --> 00:51:14,680 We're on a ghost ship. 897 00:51:14,760 --> 00:51:17,760 A fucking system that can incorporate any critique, 898 00:51:17,840 --> 00:51:20,640 just turn it into a marketable commodity. Didn't think about it, mate. 899 00:51:20,720 --> 00:51:22,720 Nothing has depth. Nothing has traction. Nothing... 900 00:51:22,800 --> 00:51:26,920 Nothing's fucking serious, right? We're just steam on a mirror. 901 00:51:27,680 --> 00:51:30,240 You're gonna die a fucking spectator, yeah? 902 00:51:30,320 --> 00:51:33,080 A priest at the altar of your own fucking ego. 903 00:51:33,840 --> 00:51:36,600 Fucking hell, mate. Turn the fucking music down, will you? 904 00:51:36,680 --> 00:51:41,120 You know what? Go fuck yourself, you little fucking slug! 905 00:51:41,200 --> 00:51:43,520 You... you... you are like the freak at the afters 906 00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:45,720 who doesn't know when to shut his fucking hole! 907 00:51:45,800 --> 00:51:47,160 Why are you laughing? 908 00:51:47,240 --> 00:51:48,960 You don't know what it's like to be a father! 909 00:51:49,040 --> 00:51:51,240 No, I fucking do, actually, mate. You know what? 910 00:51:51,320 --> 00:51:52,680 It fucking doesn't change a thing. 911 00:51:52,760 --> 00:51:54,480 You're in his life. You're out of his life. 912 00:51:54,560 --> 00:51:56,880 -He's fucking damned either way. -That's such bullshit! 913 00:51:56,960 --> 00:51:59,240 You know what I dream about, yeah? I dream about the fact 914 00:51:59,320 --> 00:52:02,840 that all my friends are richer than me. And when I don't dream about that, 915 00:52:02,920 --> 00:52:05,040 I dream about a faceless fitness influencer 916 00:52:05,120 --> 00:52:08,400 making a pornographic payday out of her own fucking privacy. 917 00:52:08,480 --> 00:52:11,200 Fucking, mate! I am not going to ask you again. 918 00:52:11,280 --> 00:52:14,840 Turn the fucking music down, yeah? And it's on us, man. 919 00:52:15,520 --> 00:52:17,120 We've built an interface with the world 920 00:52:17,200 --> 00:52:20,280 which gives us what we want, but not what we want to want. 921 00:52:22,480 --> 00:52:27,280 Sorry, lads, I... I'll go and get some more beers. 922 00:52:27,960 --> 00:52:29,080 Fuck yeah. 923 00:52:31,400 --> 00:52:32,560 Good idea. 924 00:52:33,880 --> 00:52:35,080 I like that idea. 925 00:52:42,480 --> 00:52:43,560 We're out. 926 00:52:50,240 --> 00:52:51,560 I'mma use the gentleman. 927 00:52:52,480 --> 00:52:53,680 I need a slash. 928 00:52:55,560 --> 00:52:57,560 Hello! 929 00:53:51,360 --> 00:53:52,480 Mate. 930 00:53:55,520 --> 00:53:56,520 Mate! 931 00:53:57,240 --> 00:54:00,640 Mate? Mate, come on! Mate? 932 00:54:01,280 --> 00:54:03,760 Come on. Come on. Wake up, wake up, wake up. 933 00:54:06,080 --> 00:54:08,880 Hey, mate! Come on, come on, come on, come on. 934 00:54:09,800 --> 00:54:10,840 Shit! 935 00:54:14,600 --> 00:54:16,760 Evening, sir. There's been a complaint about the noise. 936 00:54:21,880 --> 00:54:24,600 Sir? Sir, open the door! 937 00:54:24,680 --> 00:54:26,720 Can you please just open the door, sir? 938 00:54:28,360 --> 00:54:30,840 -Sir! -Sir, open this door. 939 00:54:32,160 --> 00:54:34,560 I'm afraid we're gonna have to breach the door, sir. 940 00:55:03,680 --> 00:55:04,960 Check down there. 941 00:55:08,920 --> 00:55:10,080 -Clear. -Clear. 942 00:55:10,560 --> 00:55:11,880 Control priority. 943 00:55:13,280 --> 00:55:14,880 Can I get an ambulance to hurry up? 944 00:55:14,960 --> 00:55:17,120 We've got an adult male, unconscious. Not breathing. 945 00:55:17,200 --> 00:55:20,280 -Possible drugs overdose. -There's a man on the balcony. 946 00:55:22,120 --> 00:55:23,200 Sir! 947 00:56:16,240 --> 00:56:17,360 Show me your hands! 948 00:56:18,040 --> 00:56:20,680 -Put your hands behind your back now! -Okay, okay, okay. Okay, okay.