I've never seen anyone
put their IQ on a CV before.
How many of these have you had?
Nine. Four in New York.
Four here and a Skype.
Why are you here then?
Well, it's not a very political answer, but
I think mediocrity is too well-hidden
by parents who hire private tutors.
I'm here on my own.
I want to be able to explain myself
clearly and hope
you will be receptive to my ideas.
Is that how you get your validation?
People listening to you.
As opposed to...
Every successful business
is full of people who've spent money
nurturing unremarkable talent.
Why did you read geography?
Geography had the least amount
of applicants the year before.
Y'know. It's a marginal game
about marginal gains.
Nothing wrong with the back door.
I play third fiddle to two figures
in my mother's life.
Jesus Christ and Margaret Thatcher.
And where do you stand on them?
One's a reason why we are all here
and the other is a carpenter.
I think this is the closest thing
to a meritocracy there is
and I only ever want to be judged
on the strength of my abilities.
And paid for it.
I guess.
I didn't realise that
we recruited from S-U-N-Y Binghamton.
It's a none target.
Can you tell us a joke?
Yeah.
It's a bit for work, whatever...
Y'know how many mountains
I'd have to move to get you to London
for good?
You don't look sure
how to navigate that?
Would this year's graduate class please
assemble in the second floor auditorium
for your Week Three induction.
You ready to be indoctrinated?
See you down there.
Sure I can't get you anything?
Yeah, Robert
I've been meaning to ask actually.
Did someone very close to you die?
It is a very dark suit.
I am sorry for your loss but
have you left the label
on the sleeve there as well? Wow.
- Yeah, it's new. - Yeah.
You look like regional nightclub security.
Stag do security.
Actually, let me just do that for you
before you embarrass yourself
- in front of your peers. - You see
what you've done there is actually erect
a billboard to how gauche you are.
Nice one.
Robert wears Ted Baker
ladies and gentlemen.
Just so you know.
I think you look great.
- Thanks. - The Undertaker attitude...
Hi.
I think we met at the drinks?
I don't think that was me.
Okay.
It's cool, free bar.
I am Yasmin from FX Sales.
I think we work on the same floor.
Harper, CPS team.
He works on my team.
He's a hole snacc.
If you're into that kind of thing I guess.
Welcome, graduates.
Young people are our capital.
Graduates are our capital.
And while it's my pleasure
to congratulate you on this placement
the work to stay here starts now.
Which senior vouches for you
the impression that you make on clients
will all be evaluated.
In six months' time, on RIF day
that's Reduction-in-Force
you'll be sitting in this room
telling all of us
why you should be hired permanently
to your desk.
Pierpoint is the world's pre-eminent
financial services institution.
We expect you to behave
like you have a stake in it.
Act like an owner.
Enrich your clients. Enrich us.
Enrich yourselves.
So look at the guy or gal next to you
really look.
Do you think you're better than them?
Maybe you are.
But half of you won't be here
in six months.
Just make yourselves indispensable...
Extra dirty chai with a scoop of whey.
Skinny latte...
Whatever we tell you to do.
Is there anything you want looking at?
We were on his catamaran
and then the guy caught some grouper
and fried it on the side of the boat.
Yeah, it was beautiful.
Hey, ask Rishi for the level of
one year one year Euro swap
in 500k DVO1.
They don't call me promiscuous...
- Rishi? - Today please.
Rishi...
- Can you send... - Relax
it's not an auction house.
I've just sent out my runs.
They're on your Bloomie.
So you can sit down now.
I was talking to Felim at Fenmarsh.
He's impressed with
that US tail risk work you did for him.
He sent me an email to say thanks.
Sorry, I didn't want to clog your inbox.
Don't apologise.
Just remember to talk your book here
or people will miss it.
We want to get you printing business
as soon as possible.
Harper!
- Hi. - Hey.
Sorry. Just catch my breath.
- Sure. - Cycled in.
Yes. I still don't have
your university transcript.
I'm really sorry. I will get on it.
You said that last week.
Harper Stern?
You're an international candidate, right?
Yeah, we're still missing your transcript.
I'm still waiting on my college
to send a copy.
They are notoriously slow.
We are hitting that grey area now
where it is becoming a bit of a problem
for us and therefore, a problem for you.
You may continue your quest.
- For the loo. - Thank you.
Harper!
Hey!
Have you been home?
Your just like never in your room
and you're wearing
an identical outfit to yesterday.
I am logging those nocturnal hours.
Trying to make a good impression.
You know?
Don't try to figure out how much
you get paid by the hour in IBD
because I will guarantee you
it is less than minimum wage.
The way I see it
I am in the Ivory Tower upstairs.
You're down here on the floor
with the peasants.
Nice.
For a minute, I thought
you were actually gonna talk.
You know, you've been here
for three weeks and
you've barely said a word to me.
I'm sorry. I've just been underwater
backing up Eric's accounts.
I know we both work for Eric
but I am your line manager.
Has he asked you to meet clients?
No.
For sure not. No.
I've got this dinner tomorrow night
with Mallon Mercer. Nicole Craig.
It's a bit of a one way relationship.
But substantial to the firm.
It's a chance to increase your visibility
as a grad.
Do you want to tag along?
Yeah. Yes.
I will look into her mandate.
Don't overthink it.
Are you that thirsty?
Y'know, we've got
a thirty quid meal allowance.
Why would you not use all of it?
That's very naff.
How's your model?
I'm going to finish in the morning.
Send it over my way.
I've got capacity.
How do you have "capacity"?
Brutal finance guy, innit?
I don't know what that is.
You bouncing?
Hey man. Hey. It's only ten fifteen.
No one here is actually
gonna tell you this but
you need to put in "facetime".
Actually, I don't. Staying up all night
doesn't enhance my work.
Mate...
- Let me see your room... - My room.
- Yeah. - Yeah. Check it.
It's Pierpoint's temp accommodation
- for out of towners... - Okay.
Looks great. How easy is it
to get them Ivory League niggers
to come home with you?
I am just here to work.
It's only with you that
everything becomes sexual.
So the only reason you are calling me is
that you want a fake transcript.
You must need it pretty bad.
You sure that is all you need?
Why? What else would I want?
What are you offering?
Did you get a job yet, Todd?
Nah, just some unpaid shit.
It's hard to make money
off your passion.
You know, unless your passion is
- money. - Fuck you.
Okay, but I can make your bank think
you have graduated
what's that worth to you?
What? You think it's a fuck tonight?
Is that it?
I mean...
If you need it, I got you
Arse up. Put that arse up.
You don't listen to what Daddy says
he's going to be...
- Just ignore it... - The morning meeting
is about to start, mate.
If what Daddy said actually affected you
then you still wouldn't be
on the phone now...
Why have you changed the WACC?
The DCF was coming out too low.
How does it compare to
the transaction comps?
These pre profit unicorns trade
on crazy multiples.
Eight times, nine times.
Less a liquidity discount
we'd be just over the DCF.
Fantastic.
What's that?
That's my model.
Why are you doing the model?
- Gus is doing the model. - I had capacity.
- I just wanted to get ahead. - Hari
I told you to do the pitchbook.
So do the fucking pitchbook, okay?
HungerFix want to optimise
delivery speed so they're looking for
mid-caps with best-in-class GPS tech.
Clear comps. Deliveroo.
- Uber Eats... - I've found something
with good sat-nav IP.
- They're quite small. - Don't fucking fish!
Stick to the formatting.
And for fuck's sake, make sure
the font is Helvetica 12 or
the MD will freak. And I might have to
take one of you into the pitch. I'll lead
but it'll be good for your visibility.
Why are you doing my model?
Mate, it's the team's work.
No, it's my work.
It's not my fault that you feel
you need to keep score. I don't.
So I'm guessing last night was Boisdale?
Boisdale. Five Hertford
and then then inevitably Annabel's.
The triumvirate.
Like the embrace of an old friend.
Right. Okay.
So I've published a piece
looking back at the decade post-crisis.
Three stages. Housing.
2007-2009...
How are we supposed to monetize
what's in the rear-view mirror?
What?
Any new buy recommendations?
Still overweight
with a preference for the US.
Even with margins and valuations
at all-time highs?
Why bother publishing
if there are no material changes?
I suppose
Kaspar can pay for my personality.
You can read my note out loud
to him if you'd like.
It's not exactly commercial, is it?
Once again the research teams
excel in wasting sales peoples time.
Another walk out.
So it's one cob with bacon, no stilton.
And the other one without...
No, wait. Sorry
the first one I need with bacon...
Thank you. And...
Sorry, I specifically said no dressing.
Keeping the cattle fed and watered.
My first proper dinner
was with Philippe Jabre.
You know, from hedge-funds.
He is famous.
Dozen of us at Nobu, pre 08 Nobu.
I had gastroenteritis.
Threw up at the table.
Jabre said it was
the first interesting thing
to come out of my mouth all night.
That's only half true.
But he still called
and I still printed his business.
That's the bar.
Don't let Daria tell you
it's "just a dinner".
I'll work on a pitch.
Which grad do I have to bully
to get a fucking sanger?
Felim, how was Capri?
- You need to get out of here. - Why?
You've only left the building once
in the last forty eight hours.
It is automatically red-flagged
by your ID card. I don't want to know
where you have been sleeping.
But optically, I need you
to walk out of the office
tap your card out.
Do whatever and then come back.
No more red flag.
Okay. Sorry.
You're not in trouble.
I appreciate how you are meeting
the needs of the business.
Thanks.
Get rid of the fucking water, yah?
And don't take the piss.
Go grab a pint, I might come
and find you when the work's done.
No rest for the wicked.
Women of power
seem to like withhold sunlight
from women coming up.
It's not cool, we can't be doing that.
The success...
You're a bit of a masochist...
Excuse me?
Negging Clement in the meeting.
I spent months writing something
for the fucking salesmen
to parrot over the phone and
Clement doesn't even have the humility
to listen for five fucking minutes.
Yeah, but his war stories though...
He's a fucking dinosaur.
It took two years for him
to say "good morning" to me.
He's never going to speak to you.
Yeah. Alright mate.
- Whatever. - I'm just saying.
Don't think that a guy like that
is going to protect you on RIF.
Clement, he has got Kaspar
that's one fucking account and
yeah, it's big, but
the only way to guarantee you survive
is to say "I am an originator
I won new business."
I remember, I was with...
Adrian. Come on
what did this place used to be called?
It's... come on.
It used to have
some really awful single syllable name
like Stunt, or something like that.
It looked like a fucking building site.
Does she have an "on" button?
I was looking into the business you did...
Right... Priorities.
Shall we get some wine
that doesn't taste like paint thinner?
Abso-fucking-lutely.
- Yeah. - Okay, what do we have?
Do you know Gus?
Yeah, I live with him...
I lived with him at uni.
We sort of lost touch while
he was there. I went to school with him
with all those guys.
Surprised it took you this long
to mention Eton. Two years above.
"House Captain." He said.
I know a lot about you two.
Yeah.
Catch you later.
Hi.
Saying "everything's gonna be okay"
over and over doesn't stop your house
burning down around you, does it?
Eventually we shall be eating our pets.
If that's your philosophy
you can trade it.
Extremely reasonable.
At twice the price.
I'm being sarcastic
it is reassuringly expensive.
Buy an option on the US ten year
at four percent.
Yields haven't been there
since before you were born.
Actually since the early aughts.
Were you even sentient then?
Sorry, Nicole
graduates don't normally pitch.
Fuck that. Let her talk.
With the President bulldozing
the reputation of the US oversees
y'know, for me it follows that
the administration will totally
kill the rep of treasuries.
And pissing in China's mouth
- isn't gonna help. - Exactly.
Personally I just think we will do
an enormous sell off. We're lowkey
throwing ourselves into Cold Wars
with all of our trading partners.
China are the biggest global holder
of US paper.
If they start dumping
yields will soar past four percent.
If you think the house is burning down
this is how you monetize it.
Bearish people lose money
- in this market. - Yeah
but the world's pregnant with tail risk.
Right, and this is a play for the end.
Who wants another drink, anyone?
My PT hates it when I am hungover.
We're gonna have to
love you and leave you, I'm afraid.
As hard as that is.
Right, I won't get up.
Fine for you to piss off to bed.
But I will let Harper finish her thoughts.
- Yeah? - Great.
Nicole.
Harper, pick up the bill.
Mikey, you should be fresh
in the morning.
Yeah. I'll be the responsible one.
Here is my card.
Thank you.
So I can write up an email...
I don't think you're a saleswoman.
That's a compliment.
Salespeople sell certainty.
Lovely...
What a life.
I've got us an Uber.
Two times surge.
You pay twice as much to go home
and have half the fun.
Wipe your fucking nose.
It only takes two pints, doesn't it?
All the Outreach guys together
of course.
It's a scheme for...
Diversity hires. I know.
Gus thinks he's above all that.
I resent your friendship.
Good, 'cause we are staying out.
Yeah, I am not sure I can be seen
fraternising with you two.
I am sober as a judge.
- Come on, man. - Don't hug me...
Try not to throw up in there...
Yeah mate, Pierpoint.
Take him home please.
Destination is in.
I can write up that option idea for you
in the morning...
If you want.
Okay...
Can I come a bit closer?
I am so tired.
He can drop you anywhere.
Southwark.
Come on mate.
You've had a bit too much, ain't ya?
This is not my house.
It doesn't have a balcony.
The one that was put in the system...
No. I am fine.
Dude, if I leave you alone
you're gonna choke on your own vomit.
Ten minutes.
Yeah. Okay.
How's IBD? You're out early...
Yeah. I dunno. I think...
I think they treat me differently
like I went to state school
and they even talk to me differently.
This guy on my desk, Gus.
I feel like he makes it
his personal business
trying to make me feel like
I'm unworthy of it or something.
He sounds like a fucking asshole.
This weird thing happened at dinner
with this woman. A client.
That's good, you're doing dinners
with clients already.
Yeah, Daria, my line manager
just invited me out of the blue.
It went really well.
And then the client
she gave me a ride home and
she sort of...
touched me.
And she's a woman, y'know
but I don't know
it was still kind of...
weird.
I thought she'd bit on an idea, but
she won't want to deal with me now.
There's no way that it could get back
to Pierpoint, right?
Hari?
Does anybody know
what day of the week it is?
Rishi, you will love this...
So how did the rest of the dinner go
last night?
Yeah, it was fun.
You know I have never actually seen
someone successfully
hold Nicole's attention.
She is a notoriously hard nut to crack.
Have you followed up?
I am not really sure
I am comfortable calling clients yet.
- I will send her an email. - Cool.
You rested?
HungerFix have changed the time.
They're in at nine tomorrow
and their COO is autistic.
No, I am not being snide.
She has autism. And levelling with you
she's also a bit of a cunt.
Those things are unrelated.
Speed and clarity.
- Gus, how's the model? - I'll be done
turning comments by tonight.
We need to get the book to the printers
by 6.00am. Don't stay up all night.
But tell me that's doable?
I like you two a lot.
Hi, Robert.
I've noticed that rates and FX
and all the other teams
start their meeting pre-open?
When does the CPS one start?
It changes day to day.
Eric's not usually in it
so it's Clement's call.
Well, I'd like it to run
from seven from now on.
Starting tomorrow. Can you just
round everyone up for me?
Seven on the dot.
Seven?
If I was a father, that would
seriously fuck with my morning.
Anyone up for an after work bevvie?
Thursday night sharpener.
What, a few looseners?
- Yeah. Fancy it? - What
- take the edge off? - Yeah?
No, mate! And get a new suit.
You look like fucking Neo.
I am doing anything else.
Surely I can drag you out?
By my braids?
Maybe next time.
I guess we're the only people
that like to have fun around here.
Is that packet?
'K. We're going vegan tonight.
See, I gotta be up really early.
Only if we go to bed.
You're sound.
There was dinner, then a party
for those people who had the energy.
I've never seen
so many lusted-after people
who were so utterly charmless.
And sexless.
They were without charm
and sex.
Clement we've heard this one.
I wanna hear the rest.
Excuse me?
Sorry...
Sorry, my head's a blur.
You know when two big nights
catch up with you?
And who were you entertaining?
Which client?
Sorry.
Hari, you're in the meeting with me.
Well done.
Gus, I hope you don't mind.
Well deserved.
One-nil to you.
But you're not listening to me.
It's just one page.
I fucked up the font on that one page.
Can you just reprint it?
The meeting is at 9.00am...
But it's the company font
Helvetica 12.
It looks fucking amateur.
Never seen a grown man
drop his trouser at a urinal?
I saw a guy do it
during the Kobe earthquake '95.
He had an arse like
an eight year old boy.
Now people seem to have forgotten that
the more you enjoy sales
the more money you make.
But if you're going to stay out all night
iron the box lines out of your shirt.
You're not here to fix the lights.
Daria said the Mallon Mercer meet
went well.
- Monetize that shit. - She sent an email.
We don't hide behind emails.
Get on the phone and
ask for the fucking order.
Rish, will you shine my shoes?
Fuck yourself, mate.
Can you come this way? Through there.
Hari's death is an unexpected tragedy.
The next 24 hours
and the way we respond to this
are defining.
Do not speak to the press.
I'd rather you didn't speak to anyone
outside of the office, for now.
This is about respect.
There will be an inquiry
into the circumstances.
Colin, you big wanker!
HungerFix's flight got cancelled.
They're in on Monday.
Do you want to talk about, y'know...
Turn it up, mate.
What the fuck are you doing?
Apparently he just fucking died.
Like collapsed.
It's fucking scary.
Lesson is, don't hire people
who really need the job.
What does that mean?
I mean, certain types of people
feel the need to over compensate
because they feel inadequate.
It is also bad for us.
How do you mean?
Take the girl with the nose ring.
Isn't it impossible
to compete with this girl's narrative?
I mean, everything is aligned for her.
You know nothing about her.
Well, I know she went to a shit uni.
And I know she's black. And I know
those things are mutually exclusive.
Sure, but together...
tick, tick.
You're fucking vile!
Come on, it's just realistic...
I'm so sorry.
I was the less cunty one.
It's fine.
It's not the correct trade anyway.
When do I ever have you
on the wrong side of anything.
I know.
Alright, catch you later.
- Hello? - Nicole, hi.
It's Harper from Pierpoint.
That option idea we talked about.
It was a fun night.
Let's go for it in a half a yard.
Rishi!
I said your fucking name, dude.
Can you price that option idea
we talked about, half a yard?
No way, it's wingier than
the fucking lottery. How the hell
have you got someone to buy an option
on treasury yields hitting 4%?
I told them that eventually the US
is going to war in the South China sea.
When they do, this pays out.
Alright. Can do it in half her amount.
Nicole, can we do half?
No. You wanna write my business
you fill me on my first order. In full.
Two secs.
I need it in full. Can you help?
No fucking way. I can't price it without
losing money. That's half a billion.
The client will not hear "no."
And I'm not interested in that either.
Offer is five beeps.
- Offer is five basic points. - Too high.
I'll pay four cents in up to 250.
Work the balance with you.
Can't do five. Four please.
If they're paying for your idea
make them fucking pay!
Four cents.
Because I'm excellent, four cents.
Do I just say done?
Half a yard done. Four cents.
Let's see where this takes us.
Do not forget how this feels right now.
You are a world killer.
Now I see you.
- Thank you. - Why is there
a ring in your nose? Are you cattle?
Welcome to the Shangri-la Hotel.
Can I get a room for the night?
Just the night. Somewhere else.
We have the Southwark Suite.
Let's do it.