1 00:00:45,961 --> 00:00:52,961 Subtitle By: MARSH-MARIE 2 00:00:53,161 --> 00:00:54,929 Good evening, my fellow Americans. 3 00:00:54,963 --> 00:00:57,832 It's me, your last semblance of a decent, 4 00:00:57,865 --> 00:01:00,469 law-abiding, qualified president, Barack Obama... 5 00:01:00,502 --> 00:01:03,838 here to introduce to you the trailer... 6 00:01:03,871 --> 00:01:05,807 for Marques Black's new film... 7 00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:07,509 Uh... Secret Service Man. 8 00:01:09,043 --> 00:01:12,348 Now, although I am highly disappointed 9 00:01:12,381 --> 00:01:14,115 with our current president, 10 00:01:14,148 --> 00:01:15,917 I gotta say... 11 00:01:15,950 --> 00:01:18,019 Marques Black's career choices of late 12 00:01:18,052 --> 00:01:20,222 have disappointed me far more. 13 00:01:20,256 --> 00:01:21,457 That's right, Marques. 14 00:01:21,490 --> 00:01:25,361 You are single-handedly responsible for disappointing 15 00:01:25,394 --> 00:01:27,529 the world's most beloved black man. 16 00:01:29,163 --> 00:01:31,165 I'm just kidding! What's up with y'all, baby? 17 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:33,569 It's Deandre McDonald. 18 00:01:33,602 --> 00:01:35,304 Okay, here talking shit 19 00:01:35,337 --> 00:01:37,939 about Marques Black's latest piece of shit. 20 00:01:37,972 --> 00:01:39,007 Okay, that's wrong of me. 21 00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:40,908 See, I think it's a piece of shit. 22 00:01:40,942 --> 00:01:44,246 But here, watch this shitty new trailer 23 00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:47,516 and just show me and tell me how shitty you think it is. 24 00:01:47,549 --> 00:01:49,184 Roll that beautiful bean footage. 25 00:01:53,589 --> 00:01:55,457 I don't need more protection. 26 00:01:55,491 --> 00:01:57,892 Sir, we have it on good authority that an attempt 27 00:01:57,925 --> 00:02:00,028 will definitely be made on your life. 28 00:02:00,061 --> 00:02:02,564 But why? What have I ever done to anybody? 29 00:02:04,065 --> 00:02:05,334 Yeah. 30 00:02:07,035 --> 00:02:08,337 At some point... 31 00:02:08,370 --> 00:02:10,406 That's better than Tiger. 32 00:02:10,439 --> 00:02:12,374 ...in every man's life... 33 00:02:12,408 --> 00:02:14,976 Go, go, go! Make him run, make him run. 34 00:02:15,009 --> 00:02:16,412 ...he gets a chance... 35 00:02:16,445 --> 00:02:18,280 I already have enough blacks. 36 00:02:18,314 --> 00:02:19,914 What do I need with this black? 37 00:02:19,947 --> 00:02:23,252 Sir, he is the best black for the job. 38 00:02:24,486 --> 00:02:26,488 ...to be great. 39 00:02:26,921 --> 00:02:27,989 So close. 40 00:02:28,022 --> 00:02:31,327 Now, I know that being late is your people's thang... 41 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:33,262 but I can't risk losing my life 42 00:02:33,295 --> 00:02:35,197 because you're on CP time. Does that make sense? 43 00:02:35,230 --> 00:02:37,333 Yes, sir. My baby mama's been tripping. 44 00:02:37,366 --> 00:02:39,901 Who, Shanika? She was tripping? 45 00:02:39,934 --> 00:02:41,035 He's got a gun! 46 00:02:41,069 --> 00:02:43,272 Marques Black is... 47 00:02:46,542 --> 00:02:48,577 Did good by you, sir, didn't I? 48 00:02:48,610 --> 00:02:50,646 Eh. You were just okay. 49 00:02:50,679 --> 00:02:52,214 Come on, let's get the hell out of here. 50 00:02:52,247 --> 00:02:54,516 ...Secret Service Man. 51 00:02:58,454 --> 00:03:00,422 Marques, Marques, Marques. Um... 52 00:03:00,456 --> 00:03:02,257 Marques, I can only imagine 53 00:03:02,291 --> 00:03:04,259 what you were thinking when you took this film. 54 00:03:04,293 --> 00:03:06,462 You were probably just sitting there, just being like... 55 00:03:06,495 --> 00:03:08,397 "Um, excuse me, hold on. 56 00:03:08,430 --> 00:03:11,099 "Now, how can I make the most amount of money 57 00:03:11,132 --> 00:03:13,302 "while selling out the most amount of people 58 00:03:13,335 --> 00:03:15,237 "while being dead-ass terrible? 59 00:03:15,270 --> 00:03:16,904 "How to be terrible? 60 00:03:16,938 --> 00:03:19,241 "How to be terrible? How to be terrible?" 61 00:03:21,377 --> 00:03:23,512 This motherfucker need to be checked. 62 00:03:23,545 --> 00:03:24,480 Now, my question is 63 00:03:24,513 --> 00:03:26,482 are you gonna step up to the challenge 64 00:03:26,515 --> 00:03:28,183 and be who you used to be 65 00:03:28,217 --> 00:03:32,221 that authentic comedian that we all fell in love with? 66 00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:34,088 That's all I got to say. 67 00:03:34,122 --> 00:03:35,591 This is Deandre McDonald. 68 00:03:35,624 --> 00:03:36,991 And, oh, yeah, baby! 69 00:03:37,024 --> 00:03:41,028 We got millions! We got millions! 70 00:03:41,062 --> 00:03:43,632 So you think I should have him killed? 71 00:03:43,665 --> 00:03:47,034 Motherfucker got over a million followers. 72 00:03:47,068 --> 00:03:50,037 Wouldn't let that nigga stay alive like that. 73 00:03:51,306 --> 00:03:53,475 Man, if you don't knock it off... 74 00:03:53,509 --> 00:03:54,976 I'm just saying. 75 00:03:55,009 --> 00:03:57,646 Black licorice and peanut butter-mayonnaise 76 00:03:57,679 --> 00:03:59,314 probably got a million followers. 77 00:03:59,348 --> 00:04:01,483 I got 30 million fans. 78 00:04:01,517 --> 00:04:04,620 Relax. We can't kill everybody, man. 79 00:04:04,653 --> 00:04:06,622 This tired nigga's just gotta have cake. 80 00:04:07,423 --> 00:04:08,457 All right. 81 00:04:12,059 --> 00:04:14,028 Yeah, this is gonna be great. Yeah. 82 00:04:39,153 --> 00:04:40,456 Don't worry. 83 00:04:40,489 --> 00:04:43,592 I'm too tired to make a move anyway. 84 00:04:44,426 --> 00:04:45,427 Oh. 85 00:04:46,228 --> 00:04:48,630 Don't look at me like that, okay? 86 00:04:48,664 --> 00:04:50,666 I had to work double shifts at the hospital... 87 00:04:50,699 --> 00:04:52,201 helped Jaylin with his homework, 88 00:04:52,234 --> 00:04:54,670 and I studied three hours for my exam. Yup. 89 00:04:54,703 --> 00:04:57,206 Oh, babe, you must be exhausted! 90 00:04:57,239 --> 00:04:58,373 - Yes. - Here. 91 00:05:00,409 --> 00:05:02,344 Let me rub your shoulders. 92 00:05:02,377 --> 00:05:04,111 Okay, that's nice. 93 00:05:04,145 --> 00:05:05,547 It is. 94 00:05:05,581 --> 00:05:09,284 You know, I could get deeper if you take your shirt off. 95 00:05:09,318 --> 00:05:10,786 - I bet you can. - Mmm-hmm. 96 00:05:10,819 --> 00:05:13,120 I mean, not that I'm trying to get you naked... 97 00:05:13,154 --> 00:05:14,656 because you know, you're exhausted 98 00:05:14,690 --> 00:05:16,391 and that's the last thing that I want. 99 00:05:16,425 --> 00:05:18,059 - I don't wanna do it. - Oh, you don't? 100 00:05:18,092 --> 00:05:19,495 Mmm-mmm. Sex? 101 00:05:19,528 --> 00:05:21,463 No! Hell no. 102 00:05:21,497 --> 00:05:22,698 Girl, ew! 103 00:05:22,731 --> 00:05:26,301 Girl, I'm a Christian. I don't do that. 104 00:05:27,469 --> 00:05:29,136 Now hurry up and take that shirt off. 105 00:05:29,170 --> 00:05:31,038 So, uh, I can rub down 106 00:05:31,072 --> 00:05:34,776 your soft naked body with this oil with no ulterior motive. 107 00:05:34,810 --> 00:05:36,378 Dre, this is lube. 108 00:05:36,411 --> 00:05:37,813 Is it? 109 00:05:37,846 --> 00:05:39,414 Oh, my God! 110 00:05:39,448 --> 00:05:41,783 I'm so embarrassed! Is it the lube? 111 00:05:41,817 --> 00:05:43,452 I'm sorry. But you know what? 112 00:05:43,485 --> 00:05:44,386 You're crazy. 113 00:05:44,419 --> 00:05:46,321 We might as well not let it go to waste. 114 00:05:46,355 --> 00:05:48,290 Right? Hmm? 115 00:06:12,614 --> 00:06:14,416 Babe. Babe, wake up. 116 00:06:14,449 --> 00:06:15,517 What? 117 00:06:15,551 --> 00:06:18,220 Babe, wake up. My last video got over 100,000 hits! 118 00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:19,655 That's so good, babe. 119 00:06:19,688 --> 00:06:21,490 - Don't you wanna see it? - Yeah. 120 00:06:21,523 --> 00:06:22,791 I'll see it later. 121 00:06:22,824 --> 00:06:26,127 Gotta get up and get Jaylin up or else we're gonna be late. 122 00:06:28,230 --> 00:06:29,731 Speaking of late... 123 00:06:29,765 --> 00:06:31,533 our rent is late 124 00:06:31,567 --> 00:06:33,067 and very short. 125 00:06:34,168 --> 00:06:35,304 How much? 126 00:06:35,337 --> 00:06:38,206 - Your half. - Oh. 127 00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:40,375 I'll get that to you today. 128 00:06:40,409 --> 00:06:41,376 Thank you. 129 00:06:41,410 --> 00:06:43,478 Because I cannot cover you again this month. 130 00:06:43,512 --> 00:06:45,581 I still have to pay for my nursing exam 131 00:06:45,614 --> 00:06:47,783 and my entire savings is gone. 132 00:06:47,816 --> 00:06:50,352 That's because you're not as good with money as I am, baby. 133 00:06:50,385 --> 00:06:51,486 Very funny. 134 00:06:52,454 --> 00:06:54,489 - Love you, cutie. - Love you, too. 135 00:06:56,391 --> 00:06:57,526 Mmm. 136 00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:08,203 $22? Dre, you a loser, man. 137 00:07:08,236 --> 00:07:09,805 What the fuck do you do with your money? 138 00:07:09,838 --> 00:07:10,872 Well, let's see here. 139 00:07:10,906 --> 00:07:13,775 Food, take care of our kid, and, oh, yeah... 140 00:07:13,809 --> 00:07:15,344 - eat crack. - You eat crack? 141 00:07:15,377 --> 00:07:16,378 That's what it is then. 142 00:07:16,411 --> 00:07:18,747 Man, you can't eat crack. That shit is expensive. 143 00:07:18,780 --> 00:07:21,483 Oh, our rent is expensive as shit, and it's due ASAP. 144 00:07:21,516 --> 00:07:23,285 Won't even get paid till next week. 145 00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:25,487 Get an advance. I do it all the time. 146 00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:26,855 I will say it helps 147 00:07:26,888 --> 00:07:28,757 that Zena don't hate me as much as she hates you. 148 00:07:28,790 --> 00:07:30,325 Wait, wait, wait. Zena hates me? 149 00:07:30,359 --> 00:07:31,360 Yeah. 150 00:07:35,364 --> 00:07:36,832 Yeah, she ain't gonna hook me up with shit. 151 00:07:36,865 --> 00:07:38,734 The worst she can do is say no, man. 152 00:07:38,767 --> 00:07:40,402 No ain't never hurt anybody. 153 00:07:43,205 --> 00:07:44,673 Hey, Zena! 154 00:07:44,706 --> 00:07:46,942 Is it possible if I get a, uh... 155 00:07:46,975 --> 00:07:49,244 Can I get an advance on my check? 156 00:07:49,277 --> 00:07:50,479 - Maybe... - Advance? 157 00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:51,546 Boy, hell no. 158 00:07:51,580 --> 00:07:55,217 Your lazy ass, too long of a lunch break taking, 159 00:07:55,250 --> 00:07:56,885 backwards-ass food stocking, 160 00:07:56,918 --> 00:07:59,588 motherfucker who stepped on my goddamn toe last week, 161 00:07:59,621 --> 00:08:01,757 and you didn't even say sorry about that shit! 162 00:08:01,790 --> 00:08:03,725 You know what? I hope your mother regrets 163 00:08:03,759 --> 00:08:05,427 even having your monkey ass 164 00:08:05,460 --> 00:08:06,795 and anything that you put your mind to, 165 00:08:06,828 --> 00:08:08,764 I hope you fail at it miserably. 166 00:08:08,797 --> 00:08:10,465 Don't ask me for shit. 167 00:08:10,699 --> 00:08:11,533 Move! 168 00:08:11,566 --> 00:08:12,868 Clean up in aisle three. 169 00:08:12,901 --> 00:08:14,336 There's a lot of hurt in her past. 170 00:08:14,369 --> 00:08:16,304 I thought that went well. I really did. 171 00:08:16,338 --> 00:08:17,472 Good afternoon, ma'am! How you doing? 172 00:08:17,506 --> 00:08:18,640 Hey, ma'am! 173 00:08:18,674 --> 00:08:20,242 Would you like some Port Salut? 174 00:08:20,275 --> 00:08:21,376 Oh, no. 175 00:08:21,410 --> 00:08:23,245 Oh! Wait, I'm sorry. Do it again. 176 00:08:23,278 --> 00:08:25,313 I wanna get it on the camera, uh, for his reel. 177 00:08:25,347 --> 00:08:26,448 - Okay, cool. - Yeah, ask her again. 178 00:08:26,481 --> 00:08:27,749 Do your... 179 00:08:27,783 --> 00:08:30,252 Would you like some cheese? 180 00:08:30,285 --> 00:08:32,954 Cheese, cheese, cheese plate! 181 00:08:32,988 --> 00:08:35,323 Crackers, we gonna make it rain crackers 182 00:08:35,357 --> 00:08:37,492 like blessings from the Lord up in here! 183 00:08:37,526 --> 00:08:38,660 Crackers... 184 00:08:38,694 --> 00:08:39,761 I'm not talking about white people. 185 00:08:39,795 --> 00:08:40,729 I'm talking about crackers! 186 00:08:40,762 --> 00:08:43,398 That's what we do. Let's mess up some cheeses. 187 00:08:43,432 --> 00:08:44,666 Let's mess up some cheeses, yeah. 188 00:08:46,535 --> 00:08:48,003 ♪ Gorgonzola, Pepper Jack 189 00:08:48,036 --> 00:08:49,304 ♪ Gouda cheese Yeah, all of that ♪ 190 00:08:49,337 --> 00:08:51,573 Uh... Mmm. 191 00:08:51,606 --> 00:08:53,608 No, no, no. Come here. 192 00:08:53,642 --> 00:08:55,610 Cut out the comedy show 193 00:08:55,644 --> 00:08:57,813 and just sell them cheese, Deandre. 194 00:08:57,846 --> 00:08:58,947 The problem is, 195 00:08:58,980 --> 00:08:59,948 they don't just want cheese, huh? 196 00:08:59,981 --> 00:09:02,651 She don't want cheese. He don't want cheese. 197 00:09:02,684 --> 00:09:04,553 I don't want cheese. We want respect. 198 00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:06,588 And until I find it, I ain't gonna stop. 199 00:09:06,621 --> 00:09:07,923 - Oh, Denzel Washington! - That's right. 200 00:09:07,956 --> 00:09:09,491 - Hey, do something else. - No, no, no, no! 201 00:09:09,524 --> 00:09:11,393 Go cover my express line. 202 00:09:11,426 --> 00:09:12,994 I don't wanna cover the express line! 203 00:09:13,028 --> 00:09:14,496 - Oh, Tracy Morgan! - That's right. 204 00:09:14,529 --> 00:09:17,399 Deandre, go over there now. 205 00:09:17,432 --> 00:09:19,601 Listen, last time I covered the express line, 206 00:09:19,634 --> 00:09:21,903 ladies came with 100 cans of cat food! 207 00:09:21,937 --> 00:09:23,739 Little lady talking about some... 208 00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:25,741 "Since it's the same brand, it only counts as one." 209 00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:27,042 But I was like, "You know what? 210 00:09:27,075 --> 00:09:29,778 "Fuck that! It doesn't count as one." 211 00:09:29,811 --> 00:09:31,613 Deandre, you are pushing it now, okay? 212 00:09:31,646 --> 00:09:32,748 I'm pushing it? You know what's pushing? 213 00:09:32,781 --> 00:09:33,949 Your hairline! 214 00:09:33,982 --> 00:09:35,517 That's pushing all the way back! 215 00:09:35,550 --> 00:09:37,319 It's one, two, way back! 216 00:09:37,352 --> 00:09:39,321 - That's what it is. - Zena's got mad forehead! 217 00:09:39,354 --> 00:09:41,523 You need to stop talking like Tracy Morgan 218 00:09:41,556 --> 00:09:44,292 and go over there and do your damn job now. 219 00:09:44,326 --> 00:09:45,927 If I don't talk like Tracy Morgan, 220 00:09:45,961 --> 00:09:47,395 I'mma talk like Kevin Hart. 221 00:09:47,429 --> 00:09:48,663 Tell you why, tell you what you did. 222 00:09:48,697 --> 00:09:51,399 It's terrible, disrespectful. Listen, I'm a human being. 223 00:09:51,433 --> 00:09:53,368 Just because you're a more handsome man than I am, 224 00:09:53,401 --> 00:09:54,669 strong-ass jawline and a mustache... 225 00:09:54,703 --> 00:09:55,904 Excuse me. 226 00:09:55,937 --> 00:09:56,972 ...that doesn't mean anything. 227 00:09:57,005 --> 00:09:58,039 Okay, I got you. 228 00:09:58,073 --> 00:09:59,374 You got a mustache. What you doing? 229 00:09:59,407 --> 00:10:00,842 Say it again. Say all that shit again. 230 00:10:00,876 --> 00:10:02,644 No, no, no. I can't even remember now. 231 00:10:02,677 --> 00:10:03,979 The part about me being a man. 232 00:10:04,012 --> 00:10:05,413 - I said you was a man? - Yeah. 233 00:10:05,447 --> 00:10:06,782 I might've said that in character. 234 00:10:06,815 --> 00:10:09,351 It's kind of like I get possessed by the spirit. 235 00:10:09,384 --> 00:10:10,685 You know what I'm saying? Like the spirit. 236 00:10:10,719 --> 00:10:12,320 I've been touched by God 237 00:10:12,354 --> 00:10:14,523 and redeemed by the blood of Jesus! 238 00:10:14,556 --> 00:10:17,859 Hallelujah! 239 00:10:17,893 --> 00:10:19,694 - Lord Jesus! - Yeah, come here. 240 00:10:19,728 --> 00:10:21,429 You hit like a girl. That's one redeeming thing. 241 00:10:21,463 --> 00:10:23,431 Yeah, straight up. 242 00:10:27,936 --> 00:10:30,605 Yeah. Need a postcard for that trip? 243 00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:33,942 - You are so fucking fired! - I'm fired? 244 00:10:33,975 --> 00:10:35,610 - Yes! - I'm fired? Thank you! 245 00:10:35,644 --> 00:10:36,978 Who's fired? We're fired? 246 00:10:37,012 --> 00:10:39,648 Fine! Give me the vegetables! I want this cauliflower. 247 00:10:39,681 --> 00:10:40,749 I'mma take some squash, take these bananas. 248 00:10:40,782 --> 00:10:42,450 Give me this God dang apple! Give me it! 249 00:10:42,484 --> 00:10:45,086 We gotta go, we gotta go, we gotta go! 250 00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:46,321 We out! 251 00:10:47,489 --> 00:10:48,523 Right. 252 00:10:53,795 --> 00:10:55,397 Nice job, Thomas. 253 00:10:55,430 --> 00:10:57,399 Okay, please practice your sheet music 254 00:10:57,432 --> 00:10:59,501 on your pianos at home. Okay? 255 00:10:59,534 --> 00:11:01,603 What if you don't have a piano? 256 00:11:01,636 --> 00:11:03,772 Thomas, stop it. 257 00:11:03,805 --> 00:11:06,441 I'm just asking what Jaylin's supposed to do, 258 00:11:06,474 --> 00:11:07,909 since his family is too poor to buy one. 259 00:11:10,545 --> 00:11:11,780 That's enough! 260 00:11:11,813 --> 00:11:13,114 Please, be kind. 261 00:11:13,148 --> 00:11:14,716 I will see you all next week. 262 00:11:26,094 --> 00:11:27,362 - Dad! - Come on. 263 00:11:28,430 --> 00:11:29,464 Oh. Mr. McDonald! 264 00:11:31,967 --> 00:11:35,570 Um, have you made any progress in getting Jaylin a piano? 265 00:11:35,604 --> 00:11:36,972 - So he could practice? - Absolutely. 266 00:11:37,005 --> 00:11:38,139 Oh, great! 267 00:11:38,173 --> 00:11:39,541 Yup! 268 00:11:39,574 --> 00:11:40,709 Well, kind of. 269 00:11:41,310 --> 00:11:43,945 I'll figure something out. 270 00:11:43,979 --> 00:11:46,581 You know, you've been saying that for six months. 271 00:11:46,615 --> 00:11:48,850 Jaylin is starting to fall behind. 272 00:11:48,884 --> 00:11:51,119 Our lessons are advancing, 273 00:11:51,152 --> 00:11:52,721 and I'm afraid he's gonna have to 274 00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:54,190 drop the class until he gets one. 275 00:11:54,223 --> 00:11:57,592 Dad, no! I can't quit piano. 276 00:11:57,626 --> 00:11:59,828 Look, if it's about the money... 277 00:11:59,861 --> 00:12:01,529 Ain't about the money, girl. 278 00:12:01,563 --> 00:12:03,565 What you talking about, girl? We balling around here. 279 00:12:03,598 --> 00:12:06,101 Drip-drop, make it rain everywhere. Precipitation. 280 00:12:06,134 --> 00:12:07,602 That's right, that's right. 281 00:12:07,636 --> 00:12:09,471 But what if it is about the money? 282 00:12:09,504 --> 00:12:10,772 I'm sure there's some music stores 283 00:12:10,805 --> 00:12:12,974 that can extend you credit. 284 00:12:13,008 --> 00:12:15,777 Ain't nobody gonna extend me no damn credit. 285 00:12:15,810 --> 00:12:17,545 - Credit! - Crazy! 286 00:12:20,216 --> 00:12:22,117 I just want Jaylin to be able 287 00:12:22,150 --> 00:12:24,119 to better participate in class. 288 00:12:24,152 --> 00:12:25,887 He just has a lot of potential. 289 00:12:25,921 --> 00:12:27,822 I agree. 290 00:12:27,856 --> 00:12:30,458 I don't mean to sound harsh here 291 00:12:30,492 --> 00:12:32,761 but I just would hate if your life circumstances 292 00:12:32,794 --> 00:12:34,496 would stand in his way. 293 00:12:34,996 --> 00:12:36,531 What? 294 00:12:36,898 --> 00:12:37,899 Lady... 295 00:12:38,334 --> 00:12:40,202 I do for my son. 296 00:12:40,236 --> 00:12:41,102 You feel me? 297 00:12:41,136 --> 00:12:44,639 Oh. No, no, I'm sorry. I know you can. 298 00:12:44,673 --> 00:12:46,141 - I'm just trying to help. - Oh, you're trying to help. 299 00:12:46,174 --> 00:12:47,976 Uh, well, you need to help them bangs 300 00:12:48,009 --> 00:12:49,711 in the front of your face. That's what you need to do. 301 00:12:49,744 --> 00:12:51,746 - What's wrong with my bang? - What's wrong with your bang? 302 00:12:51,780 --> 00:12:54,015 It looks like a French horn. 303 00:12:54,049 --> 00:12:55,483 Looking like a broke-ass Rosie Perez. 304 00:12:55,517 --> 00:12:56,484 Okay. 305 00:12:56,518 --> 00:12:57,852 Looking like a Puerto Rican version 306 00:12:57,886 --> 00:12:59,854 of Janelle Monae. 307 00:13:01,656 --> 00:13:04,693 Man, fuck Zena, and fuck that punk-ass job. 308 00:13:04,726 --> 00:13:07,028 I wasn't gonna blow up working at no grocery store. 309 00:13:07,062 --> 00:13:09,664 Now I got more time to devote to my comedy. Yes! 310 00:13:09,698 --> 00:13:12,100 Okay. Dre, this shit is about to crack for the both of us. 311 00:13:12,133 --> 00:13:14,002 I want you to see this. 312 00:13:14,035 --> 00:13:15,837 I just submitted your audition tape 313 00:13:15,870 --> 00:13:18,274 and Instagram videos to this showcase. 314 00:13:18,307 --> 00:13:19,774 Boom. Come on! 315 00:13:19,808 --> 00:13:20,909 Good shit, my G. 316 00:13:20,942 --> 00:13:22,043 It is your time, man. 317 00:13:22,077 --> 00:13:24,180 I got a feeling about this, Dre! 318 00:13:24,213 --> 00:13:26,614 You gonna win this thing, man. You hear me? 319 00:13:26,648 --> 00:13:28,850 You are going to win this and when you do, 320 00:13:28,883 --> 00:13:29,918 you gonna go on tour. 321 00:13:29,951 --> 00:13:32,087 Then your stand-up, that's gonna lead to acting. 322 00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:34,689 Then we gonna parlay that into an action movie career. 323 00:13:34,723 --> 00:13:36,024 I'mma represent you, 324 00:13:36,057 --> 00:13:37,726 and then I'mma open up a big-ass management firm. 325 00:13:37,759 --> 00:13:39,195 Guess who I'm gonna sign? 326 00:13:39,228 --> 00:13:41,730 Sarah Silverman. Make her have my little black baby. 327 00:13:41,763 --> 00:13:43,098 Boom. 328 00:13:43,131 --> 00:13:45,734 Dre, you are exactly what they're looking for. 329 00:13:45,767 --> 00:13:47,535 You exactly what I'm looking for, too. 330 00:13:47,569 --> 00:13:48,603 - Hey! - Oh, hey! 331 00:13:49,637 --> 00:13:51,006 Oh, wow! Okay. 332 00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:53,141 Look at this. This right here, you know what this is? 333 00:13:53,174 --> 00:13:55,710 This is black love. I love that. 334 00:13:55,744 --> 00:13:58,013 Feel like I shouldn't even be here. Goddamn. 335 00:13:58,414 --> 00:13:59,714 You shouldn't. 336 00:13:59,748 --> 00:14:01,217 You just gonna do me like that? 337 00:14:01,250 --> 00:14:02,684 Eddie just submitted me for this 338 00:14:02,717 --> 00:14:04,953 Laugh Out Loud comedy showcase. 339 00:14:04,986 --> 00:14:07,189 So, uh, they're looking for the next big thing... 340 00:14:07,223 --> 00:14:08,623 and it's me. 341 00:14:08,656 --> 00:14:10,058 Shit, it better be you. 342 00:14:10,091 --> 00:14:11,626 You know you ain't got no job. 343 00:14:12,093 --> 00:14:13,928 What? 344 00:14:13,962 --> 00:14:15,697 - What is he talking about? - Oh, shit! 345 00:14:16,031 --> 00:14:17,299 Huh? 346 00:14:17,333 --> 00:14:19,768 That's on me. That is my bad. 347 00:14:19,801 --> 00:14:21,870 - You lost your job? - I'm sorry, dawg. 348 00:14:21,903 --> 00:14:24,973 Yeah, but look, babe. Come on, you know me, babe. 349 00:14:25,006 --> 00:14:27,243 I'll figure something out. It's all good. 350 00:14:27,276 --> 00:14:29,211 Listen, that job was for suckers anyway. 351 00:14:29,245 --> 00:14:31,012 I need to be focused on my comedy, 352 00:14:31,046 --> 00:14:32,614 building all my numbers on the socials. 353 00:14:32,647 --> 00:14:35,650 We need rent money, okay? 354 00:14:35,683 --> 00:14:38,019 And followers don't pay! You sound crazy. 355 00:14:38,053 --> 00:14:40,622 Sometimes, they do. Not to cut you off. 356 00:14:40,655 --> 00:14:42,090 But you just gotta get brand sponsorship. 357 00:14:42,123 --> 00:14:43,225 Like the Kardashians, right? 358 00:14:43,259 --> 00:14:44,326 - They make six... - Okay! 359 00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:46,928 But does he have a brand sponsorship? 360 00:14:46,961 --> 00:14:48,330 Mmm, no, he does not. 361 00:14:48,364 --> 00:14:49,864 Because you didn't get him one. 362 00:14:49,898 --> 00:14:51,733 You been managing him for what? 363 00:14:51,766 --> 00:14:53,335 - Three years now? - Like two and a half. 364 00:14:53,369 --> 00:14:55,136 And you really ain't did shit. 365 00:14:55,170 --> 00:14:56,738 But then again, why would you be able to get 366 00:14:56,771 --> 00:14:58,240 his career cracking when you... 367 00:14:58,274 --> 00:15:00,108 Whoa, wait, don't say anything that you can't take back, Sky. 368 00:15:00,141 --> 00:15:01,310 ...live with your mama! 369 00:15:01,343 --> 00:15:02,977 Oh, shit. You just went there. 370 00:15:03,011 --> 00:15:04,045 - Yeah. - You just went there 371 00:15:04,079 --> 00:15:05,214 - like that, huh? - Yeah. 372 00:15:05,247 --> 00:15:07,082 You said you would never bring that up, Sky. 373 00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:07,982 I lied. 374 00:15:08,016 --> 00:15:09,684 Sky, listen, stop tripping. 375 00:15:09,717 --> 00:15:10,952 I'll figure something out. 376 00:15:10,985 --> 00:15:12,954 A few months ago, you figured out you were gonna make money 377 00:15:12,987 --> 00:15:14,823 by putting ads on your website. 378 00:15:14,856 --> 00:15:16,091 - Yup. - Did that pay? 379 00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:17,193 Yes, it did. 380 00:15:17,226 --> 00:15:18,726 Google AdSense is a great way 381 00:15:18,760 --> 00:15:20,829 to monetize your online content. 382 00:15:20,862 --> 00:15:21,896 So, yeah. 383 00:15:21,930 --> 00:15:23,399 How much did you make? 384 00:15:23,432 --> 00:15:26,734 - Uh... In the last 30 days? - Sure. 385 00:15:26,768 --> 00:15:28,736 If you carry over the one, 386 00:15:28,770 --> 00:15:29,904 carry over the twos, 30 days... 387 00:15:29,938 --> 00:15:31,940 That's gonna be, for the April... 388 00:15:31,973 --> 00:15:34,310 - How much, Dre? - Okay, up to... 389 00:15:35,844 --> 00:15:37,313 Six dollars. 390 00:15:37,346 --> 00:15:39,948 And a little extra. Babe, babe, it's all good. 391 00:15:39,981 --> 00:15:42,218 I can't keep doing this. 392 00:15:42,251 --> 00:15:44,652 I work hard and I hold us down. 393 00:15:44,686 --> 00:15:46,754 But you, you just do whatever you want. 394 00:15:46,788 --> 00:15:48,424 I'm not doing whatever I want. 395 00:15:48,457 --> 00:15:49,958 I'm following my dreams. 396 00:15:49,991 --> 00:15:51,159 You have a family. 397 00:15:51,193 --> 00:15:54,662 No job, no money, and you rent a house. 398 00:15:54,696 --> 00:15:56,798 At a certain point, following your dreams 399 00:15:56,831 --> 00:15:58,367 is irresponsible, Dre. 400 00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:00,135 And I have to be honest... 401 00:16:00,168 --> 00:16:01,736 I'm tired. 402 00:16:03,372 --> 00:16:04,973 - Ooh. - Sky. 403 00:16:08,042 --> 00:16:09,378 Now, maybe, just maybe, 404 00:16:09,411 --> 00:16:11,012 when she says she's tired, 405 00:16:11,045 --> 00:16:12,881 she means it in a different way. 406 00:16:16,017 --> 00:16:16,851 Nope. 407 00:16:16,885 --> 00:16:18,820 You got a big fucking mouth, Eddie. 408 00:16:18,853 --> 00:16:20,722 I know. It just slipped out 'cause I was... 409 00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:27,028 Hey, you up last, baby. 410 00:16:27,061 --> 00:16:28,163 I bet. 411 00:16:30,266 --> 00:16:32,434 - Can I ask you a question? - What's up? 412 00:16:32,468 --> 00:16:34,702 Why you always writing in this? 413 00:16:34,736 --> 00:16:36,871 Like, what is this book? 414 00:16:36,905 --> 00:16:38,207 I'm journaling, fool. 415 00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:39,707 - You're journaling? - Yeah! 416 00:16:39,741 --> 00:16:40,875 - You're journaling? - It helps me process 417 00:16:40,909 --> 00:16:42,110 what I feel about life. 418 00:16:42,143 --> 00:16:44,145 My shit is so fucked up right now, 419 00:16:44,180 --> 00:16:45,713 I need to channel it somewhere. 420 00:16:45,747 --> 00:16:47,982 So until I can pay an uptight white lady 421 00:16:48,016 --> 00:16:49,218 to listen to my problems, 422 00:16:49,251 --> 00:16:51,152 I'mma put it all down right here. 423 00:16:51,187 --> 00:16:52,221 Okay. 424 00:16:52,254 --> 00:16:53,322 You should try it. 425 00:16:53,355 --> 00:16:55,123 Me? I should try journaling? 426 00:16:55,156 --> 00:16:57,792 Yeah, everybody has something they need to work out. 427 00:16:57,825 --> 00:16:59,461 Get the fuck out! I ain't got shit I need to work out. 428 00:16:59,495 --> 00:17:00,862 You wanna know why? 429 00:17:00,895 --> 00:17:02,163 I keep all my shit up top, Dre. 430 00:17:02,198 --> 00:17:04,300 I let everybody know how I feel. 431 00:17:04,333 --> 00:17:06,167 - Uh-huh. - Everybody. 432 00:17:06,202 --> 00:17:08,069 Except maybe my daddy. 433 00:17:08,102 --> 00:17:09,405 'Cause I never really could talk to the man. 434 00:17:09,438 --> 00:17:10,573 And you know what's funny? 435 00:17:10,606 --> 00:17:13,775 No matter how curious I was to learn things about him, 436 00:17:13,808 --> 00:17:15,311 he was never comfortable sharing with me. 437 00:17:15,344 --> 00:17:16,978 So, then I'm like, "What is it about me?" 438 00:17:17,413 --> 00:17:19,147 Like I said. 439 00:17:20,982 --> 00:17:22,150 Fuck you. 440 00:17:24,253 --> 00:17:26,154 This cop has never seen shit like this. 441 00:17:26,188 --> 00:17:28,424 Not a .08, not a .10. 442 00:17:28,457 --> 00:17:30,825 Ladies and gentlemen, I blew a 3.7! 443 00:17:31,493 --> 00:17:33,094 That's a goddamn GPA. 444 00:17:33,127 --> 00:17:34,796 You understand that? 445 00:17:34,829 --> 00:17:36,965 I got a DUI and a scholarship! 446 00:17:37,865 --> 00:17:39,067 I'm killing in this bitch! 447 00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:40,302 I'm killing in this bitch! 448 00:17:41,803 --> 00:17:43,472 Y'all ready to get this show rolling? 449 00:17:47,909 --> 00:17:49,345 Last up for the night... 450 00:17:49,378 --> 00:17:51,247 Dre, just get up here. 451 00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:53,014 Yeah! 452 00:17:53,047 --> 00:17:54,350 Go kill it. Go do you. 453 00:17:54,383 --> 00:17:56,918 - I will, I will. I got you. - Kill it, baby. 454 00:17:56,951 --> 00:17:58,886 Listen, it's 1:00 a.m. 455 00:17:59,388 --> 00:18:01,190 It's tomorrow. 456 00:18:01,223 --> 00:18:03,325 - Get this shit over with. - Yeah. 457 00:18:06,828 --> 00:18:08,230 What up? 458 00:18:08,264 --> 00:18:09,431 Get 'em, Dre! 459 00:18:09,465 --> 00:18:11,500 Give it up for the ladies. 460 00:18:11,533 --> 00:18:13,167 You know what I'm saying? 461 00:18:13,202 --> 00:18:15,304 That's... Yeah! 462 00:18:15,337 --> 00:18:17,038 You know what's crazy? You know what would be crazy? 463 00:18:17,071 --> 00:18:19,408 Fucking Jay-Z at a motherfucking McDonald's. 464 00:18:19,441 --> 00:18:20,609 That shit would be crazy as shit. 465 00:18:20,643 --> 00:18:22,578 Hey, yo, can I please get an apple pie? 466 00:18:22,611 --> 00:18:24,313 Yeah. 467 00:18:24,346 --> 00:18:26,382 I want an apple pie and a large fry. 468 00:18:26,415 --> 00:18:27,982 Yeah. 469 00:18:28,016 --> 00:18:29,251 Shyeah. 470 00:18:29,285 --> 00:18:32,020 I love Oreos, yeah. 471 00:18:32,053 --> 00:18:33,121 It's a flurry. 472 00:19:02,618 --> 00:19:04,018 Yeah. 473 00:19:04,052 --> 00:19:06,154 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 474 00:19:30,945 --> 00:19:31,946 Dad? 475 00:19:35,417 --> 00:19:37,118 Go back to sleep, buddy. 476 00:19:39,188 --> 00:19:40,389 What is that? 477 00:19:41,523 --> 00:19:42,924 A piano? 478 00:19:42,957 --> 00:19:44,259 Yeah. 479 00:19:44,293 --> 00:19:47,629 Well, you know, it's not the real thing. 480 00:19:47,663 --> 00:19:49,665 Duh, Dad. It says Charmin on the side. 481 00:19:49,698 --> 00:19:52,434 This is so dope. 482 00:19:54,503 --> 00:19:55,937 Look, it's temporary, you know. 483 00:19:55,970 --> 00:19:57,473 I know you've been falling behind in class 484 00:19:57,506 --> 00:19:59,173 'cause you haven't been able to practice. 485 00:20:00,409 --> 00:20:02,910 I figure at least you can practice 486 00:20:02,944 --> 00:20:05,247 finger positioning and building chords. 487 00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:07,014 This is perfect. 488 00:20:08,015 --> 00:20:09,518 Hey. Hey. 489 00:20:09,551 --> 00:20:10,918 Don't get used to it, all right? 490 00:20:10,952 --> 00:20:12,053 All right. 491 00:20:12,086 --> 00:20:14,490 Look, I'mma get you something dope. 492 00:20:14,523 --> 00:20:16,023 Believe that. 493 00:20:16,057 --> 00:20:18,059 - I just gotta... - I know. 494 00:20:18,092 --> 00:20:19,228 Figure something out. 495 00:20:19,261 --> 00:20:21,263 I say that a lot, don't I? 496 00:20:21,296 --> 00:20:22,464 - Yeah. - Okay. 497 00:20:22,498 --> 00:20:23,965 Well, I mean it. 498 00:20:25,066 --> 00:20:26,368 - All right now? - All right. 499 00:20:26,402 --> 00:20:27,469 You're gonna be like a little Mozart, 500 00:20:27,503 --> 00:20:28,570 a little Amadeus. 501 00:20:28,604 --> 00:20:29,705 That's what they gonna call you. 502 00:20:29,738 --> 00:20:31,306 Get excited, all right? 503 00:20:31,340 --> 00:20:33,174 - Game time. Say "Game time!" - Game time. 504 00:20:33,208 --> 00:20:34,041 - Game time. - Game time. 505 00:20:34,075 --> 00:20:35,344 That's right. Stick your chest out! 506 00:20:35,377 --> 00:20:36,712 Stick your chest out like this. 507 00:20:36,745 --> 00:20:38,514 - Game time. - There you go! There you go! 508 00:20:38,547 --> 00:20:39,681 All right. 509 00:20:50,124 --> 00:20:52,294 Morning, family! 510 00:20:52,327 --> 00:20:54,196 What up, boy? 511 00:20:54,730 --> 00:20:56,030 You good, baby? 512 00:20:56,063 --> 00:20:57,098 I'm fine. 513 00:20:57,131 --> 00:20:58,166 Good. Me, too. 514 00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:00,034 Ooh, we got pancakes, huh? 515 00:21:00,067 --> 00:21:01,303 Special occasion? 516 00:21:01,336 --> 00:21:04,071 Well, my little guy here's been working so hard in school. 517 00:21:04,105 --> 00:21:07,975 And when people work hard, they deserve pancakes. 518 00:21:08,009 --> 00:21:10,044 So cute! 519 00:21:10,077 --> 00:21:11,180 Great! 520 00:21:11,213 --> 00:21:12,314 Can I have a pancake? 521 00:21:12,347 --> 00:21:13,981 There's none left. 522 00:21:14,015 --> 00:21:15,384 But there's a stack right... 523 00:21:16,552 --> 00:21:18,119 These are mine. 524 00:21:20,054 --> 00:21:21,757 You know, uh... 525 00:21:21,790 --> 00:21:23,625 I'm starting to feel like you just made pancakes 526 00:21:23,659 --> 00:21:25,594 to make it a point to not give me pancakes. 527 00:21:25,627 --> 00:21:27,196 Is that what's happening? 528 00:21:31,667 --> 00:21:33,469 Got a lot of malice in your walk there. 529 00:21:34,403 --> 00:21:36,103 Boy... 530 00:21:36,137 --> 00:21:38,540 if I don't teach you anything else, you just remember... 531 00:21:38,574 --> 00:21:42,009 when a woman says she's fine, don't believe it. 532 00:21:42,043 --> 00:21:43,745 All right. What'd you do? 533 00:21:43,779 --> 00:21:45,380 Come on, Jaylin, so I can get you to school, 534 00:21:45,414 --> 00:21:48,550 before I go to work at the job that I have. 535 00:21:50,752 --> 00:21:53,655 Looks like it has something to do with the job. 536 00:21:53,689 --> 00:21:55,457 What? Just get your book bag. 537 00:21:55,491 --> 00:21:57,493 All right. Just saying. 538 00:21:59,126 --> 00:22:00,127 Enjoy. 539 00:22:01,763 --> 00:22:03,532 You ain't even gonna crack it though? 540 00:22:05,099 --> 00:22:08,035 So, while I'm at my occupation... 541 00:22:08,069 --> 00:22:09,505 what will you be doing all day? 542 00:22:09,538 --> 00:22:11,273 Oh, well, writing jokes. 543 00:22:11,306 --> 00:22:12,808 Oh, I got this new idea for a comedy video, 544 00:22:12,841 --> 00:22:14,610 so I'mma go ahead and produce that. 545 00:22:14,643 --> 00:22:16,211 So, you just gonna be sitting at home, 546 00:22:16,245 --> 00:22:17,679 writing jokes... 547 00:22:17,713 --> 00:22:19,248 doing comedy all day? 548 00:22:19,281 --> 00:22:20,616 That's nice. That's good. 549 00:22:22,751 --> 00:22:25,152 - Sky, why you gotta... - Dre, Dre, Dre! 550 00:22:25,187 --> 00:22:27,054 You got into the LOL showcase. 551 00:22:27,088 --> 00:22:29,224 Hey, hey, hey, hey. Just slow down. Get it out. 552 00:22:29,258 --> 00:22:30,392 You got into the LOL showcase. 553 00:22:30,425 --> 00:22:31,660 What? 554 00:22:31,693 --> 00:22:33,662 Hey, hey, takeoff, I can't understand what you're saying. 555 00:22:33,695 --> 00:22:37,299 I said, Dre, you got into the Laugh Out Loud showcase. 556 00:22:37,332 --> 00:22:38,400 - What? - Yes! 557 00:22:38,433 --> 00:22:39,401 I'm going to LA? 558 00:22:39,434 --> 00:22:41,737 Well, we going to LA, man. All expenses paid! 559 00:22:41,770 --> 00:22:43,372 Air, hotel, rental car. 560 00:22:43,405 --> 00:22:44,773 And I ain't talking about, like, the little economy. 561 00:22:44,806 --> 00:22:47,442 I'm talking about the SUV, minivan, 4x4 category... 562 00:22:47,476 --> 00:22:48,577 'cause they classy, Dre! 563 00:22:48,610 --> 00:22:49,745 The seat's first class? They gonna recline 564 00:22:49,778 --> 00:22:51,179 all the way back like this here? 565 00:22:51,213 --> 00:22:52,681 Recline, dawg, like that! 566 00:22:52,714 --> 00:22:53,749 Baby! 567 00:22:53,782 --> 00:22:55,317 That's great. 568 00:22:55,350 --> 00:22:56,785 That's great. 569 00:22:56,818 --> 00:23:00,087 Just lost my appetite, but that's great. 570 00:23:01,823 --> 00:23:05,227 Hold on. Hey. 571 00:23:05,260 --> 00:23:06,261 Ooh, pancakes! 572 00:23:07,896 --> 00:23:09,431 Sky, why you hating? 573 00:23:09,464 --> 00:23:11,333 I'm not. I'm happy for you. 574 00:23:11,366 --> 00:23:13,167 Well, it doesn't seem like it. 575 00:23:13,201 --> 00:23:14,570 Dre. 576 00:23:14,603 --> 00:23:16,438 You always do some big audition 577 00:23:16,471 --> 00:23:17,839 or get props on social media 578 00:23:17,873 --> 00:23:19,106 and think it' your big break. 579 00:23:19,140 --> 00:23:21,577 We get all worked up thinking it's gonna change our lives 580 00:23:21,610 --> 00:23:22,511 and then nothing. 581 00:23:22,544 --> 00:23:25,213 But it's different this time. It's Cali. 582 00:23:25,247 --> 00:23:28,183 - Cali, Sky. Cali. - Maybe. 583 00:23:29,651 --> 00:23:32,187 Or maybe the time spent there chasing your dreams 584 00:23:32,220 --> 00:23:34,690 is better off spent here chasing a paycheck. 585 00:23:34,723 --> 00:23:36,892 So what am I supposed to do? I'm supposed to just stay here 586 00:23:36,925 --> 00:23:40,161 and be a regular-ass guy with a regular-ass job? 587 00:23:40,195 --> 00:23:41,530 Not regular. 588 00:23:42,397 --> 00:23:43,699 Reliable. 589 00:23:45,233 --> 00:23:46,335 - See you tonight. - Sky. 590 00:23:46,368 --> 00:23:47,469 - Come on, Jaylin. - Baby. 591 00:23:54,409 --> 00:23:55,777 I'm proud of you, Dad. 592 00:23:56,745 --> 00:23:58,112 Thanks, bud. 593 00:24:01,316 --> 00:24:02,718 I can't go. 594 00:24:02,751 --> 00:24:04,720 Bullshit! You gotta go. 595 00:24:04,753 --> 00:24:06,355 - I can't, man. - You gotta go, Dre. 596 00:24:06,388 --> 00:24:08,857 No, no, no. I'm on thin ice with her right now, man. 597 00:24:08,890 --> 00:24:10,626 - I can't leave. - I get it, man. 598 00:24:10,659 --> 00:24:12,227 You are afraid that somebody 599 00:24:12,260 --> 00:24:13,562 gonna hit that while you gone. 600 00:24:13,595 --> 00:24:14,763 Because, yes, tired women, 601 00:24:14,796 --> 00:24:17,332 they are very vulnerable to random dick. This is true. 602 00:24:17,366 --> 00:24:18,834 Well, I wasn't thinking about that, 603 00:24:18,867 --> 00:24:20,302 but thanks for putting it in my head. 604 00:24:20,335 --> 00:24:21,803 Dre, you know why you gotta go? 605 00:24:21,837 --> 00:24:22,771 Because if you don't, 606 00:24:22,804 --> 00:24:24,740 you will resent Sky for holding you back. 607 00:24:24,773 --> 00:24:26,742 Next thing you know, you a old-ass man, 608 00:24:26,775 --> 00:24:29,277 a janitor at a fucking elementary school, 609 00:24:29,311 --> 00:24:30,545 doing jokes for kids. 610 00:24:30,579 --> 00:24:31,680 Or worse. 611 00:24:31,713 --> 00:24:33,815 Or worse, I could be security at the rec center. 612 00:24:33,849 --> 00:24:34,816 Oh, my God! Dre, that's even... 613 00:24:34,850 --> 00:24:35,951 Oh, my God! I'd be talking about some... 614 00:24:35,984 --> 00:24:37,853 Putting the basketballs away. 615 00:24:37,886 --> 00:24:39,421 Put the basketballs away! 616 00:24:39,454 --> 00:24:41,423 And for what? We ain't gonna do nothing but take 617 00:24:41,456 --> 00:24:43,225 the balls back out and play ball with them. 618 00:24:43,258 --> 00:24:44,559 - That's right. - It's fucking bullshit! 619 00:24:44,593 --> 00:24:46,194 It will be bad for me. 620 00:24:46,228 --> 00:24:47,763 Hey, you know what? 621 00:24:47,796 --> 00:24:49,931 And Sky wouldn't want me to live being unhappy. 622 00:24:49,965 --> 00:24:51,199 Come on, you are saving her 623 00:24:51,233 --> 00:24:52,434 from a lifetime with a bitter man 624 00:24:52,467 --> 00:24:53,935 who blames her for his failures. 625 00:24:53,969 --> 00:24:55,237 I can't let her live like that. 626 00:24:55,270 --> 00:24:56,304 Hell no, you can't. 627 00:24:56,338 --> 00:24:58,340 You gotta do what the fuck you wanna do for her. 628 00:24:58,373 --> 00:24:59,741 You know what? Forget it! 629 00:24:59,775 --> 00:25:01,343 - We going to Cali! - Hell yeah, we going to Cali! 630 00:25:01,376 --> 00:25:03,412 - We going to Cali! We going! - We going to LA, baby! 631 00:25:03,445 --> 00:25:05,280 - We going to the west side! - We going to the west side! 632 00:25:05,313 --> 00:25:06,715 The west side is the best side, motherfucker! 633 00:25:06,748 --> 00:25:10,252 Yes! Maybe we'll tone down some of that. You know what I'm saying? 634 00:25:10,285 --> 00:25:11,653 'Cause we don't wanna scare 'em when we get on the plane 635 00:25:11,687 --> 00:25:13,355 with the Tupac, right? 636 00:25:13,388 --> 00:25:14,423 - Give me that goddamn pancake. - Just gonna take the pancake? 637 00:25:14,456 --> 00:25:15,957 Here, you take this right here. Yes. 638 00:25:15,991 --> 00:25:17,459 - Give me the fucking egg? - Yes! 639 00:25:18,527 --> 00:25:20,262 Oh! God! 640 00:25:25,467 --> 00:25:27,769 Well, this is it. 641 00:25:27,803 --> 00:25:28,870 Wish me luck. 642 00:25:28,904 --> 00:25:30,238 Go win, Dad! 643 00:25:31,707 --> 00:25:33,208 Yeah. Oh! 644 00:25:34,710 --> 00:25:36,411 Got you something. 645 00:25:36,445 --> 00:25:37,546 What's this? 646 00:25:37,579 --> 00:25:39,247 That's my half of the rent. 647 00:25:39,281 --> 00:25:40,549 You know, plus a little more. 648 00:25:41,016 --> 00:25:42,217 Thanks. 649 00:25:44,486 --> 00:25:46,488 Sky, come on. 650 00:25:46,521 --> 00:25:47,956 I gotta do this. 651 00:25:47,989 --> 00:25:50,425 I wouldn't be the man you love if I stayed. 652 00:25:51,727 --> 00:25:53,528 I don't know if the man I love would leave. 653 00:26:11,446 --> 00:26:13,048 It's Cali, bitch! 654 00:26:13,081 --> 00:26:15,283 We in Cali, bitch! 655 00:26:16,651 --> 00:26:18,053 Whoo! 656 00:26:18,086 --> 00:26:19,921 What's up? You feel me? 657 00:26:24,693 --> 00:26:25,794 We in there, baby. Hold on. 658 00:26:25,827 --> 00:26:27,896 Can I get in there? 659 00:26:29,631 --> 00:26:30,665 Boom! Kill it! 660 00:26:35,971 --> 00:26:37,072 What up, Sky? 661 00:26:39,374 --> 00:26:40,209 Fuck we at? 662 00:26:40,243 --> 00:26:41,476 Man, don't cuss, man! It's my mama! 663 00:26:41,510 --> 00:26:42,811 - Oh, my bad! - This is my mama. 664 00:26:48,683 --> 00:26:49,818 Welcome to the hotel, sir. 665 00:27:04,699 --> 00:27:06,968 - Oh, okay! You know what? - God dang! 666 00:27:07,002 --> 00:27:09,704 We ain't even gonna trip. We ain't even out here for that. 667 00:27:09,738 --> 00:27:11,506 - Hello. How you doing? - Hi. Good. 668 00:27:11,540 --> 00:27:12,607 Checking in. 669 00:27:12,641 --> 00:27:13,675 Name on the reservation, please. 670 00:27:13,708 --> 00:27:15,577 Sure, it's Deandre McDonald. 671 00:27:17,712 --> 00:27:18,613 My boy. 672 00:27:18,647 --> 00:27:19,915 It's not showing your name in our system. 673 00:27:19,948 --> 00:27:20,816 Really? 674 00:27:20,849 --> 00:27:22,450 That's so weird. It's totally in there. 675 00:27:22,484 --> 00:27:23,585 Why don't you just check again for me, okay? 676 00:27:23,618 --> 00:27:24,653 Thank you. 677 00:27:24,686 --> 00:27:25,787 Dre, you know what I hope? 678 00:27:25,821 --> 00:27:26,955 I hope there's a spa credit, man. 679 00:27:26,988 --> 00:27:28,023 I want a massage. 680 00:27:28,056 --> 00:27:29,457 I never had a real massage, man. 681 00:27:29,491 --> 00:27:30,792 - Yeah. - I wanna get a Swedish... 682 00:27:30,826 --> 00:27:32,127 I'm sorry, it's not in our computer. 683 00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:35,096 Maybe your reservation's at another hotel. 684 00:27:35,130 --> 00:27:37,866 Why would the reservation be at another hotel? 685 00:27:38,767 --> 00:27:40,035 Oh... 686 00:27:40,068 --> 00:27:42,103 - Okay, I see what's going on. - Ed, I... 687 00:27:42,137 --> 00:27:43,505 No, I see what's going on. It's all good. 688 00:27:43,538 --> 00:27:44,940 I'm sorry, I don't understand. 689 00:27:44,973 --> 00:27:46,775 Yeah, this right here, this is, like, classic racial discrimination. 690 00:27:46,808 --> 00:27:47,742 Hey, hey, hey! Hold on, man! 691 00:27:47,776 --> 00:27:48,610 You see me and my boy. Hold on, I got this. 692 00:27:48,643 --> 00:27:50,045 You see me and my boy come in here. 693 00:27:50,078 --> 00:27:51,012 We got a little melanin in our skin. 694 00:27:51,046 --> 00:27:52,614 Now, all of a sudden, y'all wanna lose... 695 00:27:52,647 --> 00:27:54,382 Hi. Reservation for Carl Johnson. 696 00:27:54,416 --> 00:27:55,717 Welcome back, Mr. Johnson. 697 00:27:55,750 --> 00:27:58,954 Yes, I have your room right here 698 00:27:58,987 --> 00:28:01,389 and it's a pleasure having you stay with us. 699 00:28:01,423 --> 00:28:02,424 Thank you. 700 00:28:04,426 --> 00:28:05,560 But he's mixed. 701 00:28:05,594 --> 00:28:07,629 Are you mixed? Excuse me, are you mixed? 702 00:28:07,662 --> 00:28:09,464 Sir? A little? 703 00:28:09,497 --> 00:28:12,434 A quarter Cherokee or something? 704 00:28:12,467 --> 00:28:14,069 Mixed at all? No? Really? 705 00:28:14,102 --> 00:28:15,637 He's mixed. He's totally mixed. What? 706 00:28:15,670 --> 00:28:16,938 He's black as shit. Come on. 707 00:28:16,972 --> 00:28:18,274 Come here. I need to talk to you. 708 00:28:18,307 --> 00:28:19,908 Can you give me just one second? Thank you. I appreciate it. 709 00:28:19,941 --> 00:28:20,976 What? 710 00:28:21,009 --> 00:28:22,677 I'm trying to work this out. 711 00:28:22,711 --> 00:28:24,145 Yeah, but we don't have a reservation. 712 00:28:24,180 --> 00:28:25,847 - Who don't have a reservation? - We don't! 713 00:28:25,881 --> 00:28:27,082 - Yes, we do! - No, we don't! 714 00:28:27,115 --> 00:28:28,450 Why don't we have a reservation, Dre? 715 00:28:28,483 --> 00:28:29,985 - 'Cause I sold it. - You sold... 716 00:28:30,018 --> 00:28:31,453 Shh! 717 00:28:31,486 --> 00:28:33,455 Sorry, just real quick. 718 00:28:33,488 --> 00:28:34,723 Why would you sell our reservation? 719 00:28:34,756 --> 00:28:36,458 - For rent money, man. - Okay. 720 00:28:36,491 --> 00:28:39,027 Okay. Okay. So this isn't racial discrimination? 721 00:28:39,060 --> 00:28:40,762 No, no, no. It ain't racial discrimination. 722 00:28:40,795 --> 00:28:42,564 This is just a total fuck-up. We ain't even staying here. 723 00:28:42,597 --> 00:28:43,665 Okay, all right. 724 00:28:43,698 --> 00:28:44,699 Hey! 725 00:28:45,634 --> 00:28:47,068 Um... 726 00:28:47,102 --> 00:28:48,970 - You having a good day? - Great. 727 00:28:49,004 --> 00:28:50,438 Great. Good, good. What's your name? 728 00:28:50,472 --> 00:28:52,440 - Tiffany. - Tiffany! 729 00:28:52,474 --> 00:28:53,608 Um, here's the thing, Tiffany. 730 00:28:53,642 --> 00:28:56,077 As a black man in America, 731 00:28:56,111 --> 00:28:59,447 I tend to experience racial discrimination 732 00:28:59,481 --> 00:29:00,383 at, say, a higher rate than, say, 733 00:29:00,415 --> 00:29:01,483 someone like you. You know what I mean? 734 00:29:01,516 --> 00:29:02,751 You got your blue eyes, you got your blonde hair. 735 00:29:02,784 --> 00:29:05,921 When's the last time you was, like, discriminated against? 736 00:29:06,855 --> 00:29:09,057 Besides right now? 737 00:29:09,090 --> 00:29:10,892 You think I'm discriminating? 738 00:29:13,828 --> 00:29:14,863 God! 739 00:29:14,896 --> 00:29:17,632 Dre, you had so many opportunities to tell me! 740 00:29:17,666 --> 00:29:18,833 You could've told me at the airport. 741 00:29:18,867 --> 00:29:20,168 You could've told me on the plane. 742 00:29:20,202 --> 00:29:21,569 You could've told me when I was planning 743 00:29:21,603 --> 00:29:22,804 my little bubble bath and Jacuzzi! 744 00:29:22,837 --> 00:29:24,539 Hey, I'm sorry! 745 00:29:24,572 --> 00:29:26,741 Where we gonna stay, Dre? Hmm? 746 00:29:26,775 --> 00:29:28,076 Man, look. I don't know, man. 747 00:29:28,109 --> 00:29:30,545 I gave the rest of the money to Sky. 748 00:29:30,578 --> 00:29:31,913 Well, I spent all my money on these Jordans. 749 00:29:33,249 --> 00:29:34,383 Don't look at me like that, Dre. 750 00:29:34,417 --> 00:29:37,585 How am I gonna pull a fancy client wearing some ASICS? 751 00:29:37,619 --> 00:29:39,154 I can't wear no ASICS! 752 00:29:39,188 --> 00:29:41,957 That's when you go online, and you go to one of those Chinese online things, 753 00:29:41,990 --> 00:29:43,925 and you get yourself some knockoff Jordans! 754 00:29:43,959 --> 00:29:45,126 - You know what I'm saying? - No, I don't. 755 00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:47,729 With one of the little fat niggas on the side like this. 756 00:29:47,762 --> 00:29:48,763 That's what you get. 757 00:29:49,731 --> 00:29:51,499 Don't make me laugh right now. 758 00:29:51,533 --> 00:29:53,568 - But you wanna laugh though. - No, I wanna sleep right now. 759 00:29:53,601 --> 00:29:55,503 I wanna get a massage right now. That's what I wanna do. 760 00:29:55,537 --> 00:29:56,604 But that's hilarious. 761 00:29:57,839 --> 00:29:59,674 - That's so funny. - Ah, uh, ah! 762 00:29:59,708 --> 00:30:01,142 You smiling, you smiling! 763 00:30:01,177 --> 00:30:02,844 No, no, no. Don't dap me. 764 00:30:02,877 --> 00:30:05,013 This is not a dap moment, at all. 765 00:30:08,783 --> 00:30:11,987 Technically, all we need is a roof over our heads. 766 00:30:12,020 --> 00:30:14,022 Dre, you gonna make me live in a car? 767 00:30:14,055 --> 00:30:16,091 It's free. 768 00:30:16,124 --> 00:30:17,959 "It's free! It's free, man!" 769 00:30:25,201 --> 00:30:27,168 Marq, you ain't gonna believe this. 770 00:30:27,203 --> 00:30:28,536 Deandre McDonald is out here 771 00:30:28,570 --> 00:30:29,771 for that Laugh Out Loud showcase. 772 00:30:29,804 --> 00:30:31,606 And who is Deandre McDonald? 773 00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:33,608 Nobody. 774 00:30:33,641 --> 00:30:35,643 Nah, he's the influencer that made that video 775 00:30:35,677 --> 00:30:38,280 dissing you and The Secret Service Man. 776 00:30:38,314 --> 00:30:40,081 Uncle Nico, I'm just trying to remind him... 777 00:30:40,115 --> 00:30:42,117 about the dude that was talking shit about his movies. 778 00:30:42,150 --> 00:30:43,219 You remember. 779 00:30:43,252 --> 00:30:45,687 He said they was trash, they was ass. 780 00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:46,921 I was watching it this morning. 781 00:30:46,955 --> 00:30:48,056 What's your email? I'mma send it to you. 782 00:30:48,089 --> 00:30:49,024 Let me send it to you. 783 00:30:49,057 --> 00:30:51,726 Jethro, get your ratchet away from my feathers. 784 00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:53,061 These are real feathers. 785 00:30:53,094 --> 00:30:55,563 And why is your name Jethro, anyway? 786 00:30:55,597 --> 00:30:56,798 You're not a slave. 787 00:30:56,831 --> 00:30:58,033 It was my granddaddy name. 788 00:30:58,066 --> 00:30:59,567 He was gonna give it to my uncle, 789 00:30:59,601 --> 00:31:01,836 but he gave it to my auntie, and then she... 790 00:31:01,870 --> 00:31:03,171 Y'all want something from craft service? 791 00:31:03,205 --> 00:31:04,340 We want you to get out of here. 792 00:31:04,373 --> 00:31:06,674 I'mma get him some sunflower seeds since he a bird. 793 00:31:10,912 --> 00:31:12,714 Like I give a fuck about 794 00:31:12,747 --> 00:31:16,084 what some internet motherfucker say about me! 795 00:31:16,117 --> 00:31:17,520 Sitting back there, judging. 796 00:31:17,552 --> 00:31:20,655 How many views he got on that Secret Service Man thing anyway? 797 00:31:20,688 --> 00:31:22,624 Like barely any. 798 00:31:22,657 --> 00:31:23,758 Mmm-hmm. 799 00:31:23,792 --> 00:31:25,894 That's what I thought. How many? 800 00:31:28,029 --> 00:31:29,798 Like one... 801 00:31:31,267 --> 00:31:33,034 million... 802 00:31:33,068 --> 00:31:34,769 two hundred and forty... 803 00:31:35,337 --> 00:31:36,671 and five... 804 00:31:37,705 --> 00:31:38,807 thousand. 805 00:31:39,341 --> 00:31:40,376 That's a lot. 806 00:31:40,409 --> 00:31:42,143 - Is it? - Mmm-hmm. 807 00:31:42,178 --> 00:31:43,611 Really? 808 00:31:44,879 --> 00:31:46,981 Look, I don't care about him. 809 00:31:47,015 --> 00:31:49,050 I'm sure my fans don't care about him. 810 00:31:49,084 --> 00:31:51,152 They don't. They never have. 811 00:31:51,187 --> 00:31:53,121 He does a good impression of you, though. 812 00:31:53,154 --> 00:31:55,056 Does he really? 813 00:31:55,090 --> 00:31:57,959 Good. I'mma do a good impression of him. Here it goes. 814 00:31:57,992 --> 00:31:59,295 Deandre McDonald. 815 00:32:00,929 --> 00:32:03,232 See that? 816 00:32:03,265 --> 00:32:05,733 Wasn't shit. 'Cause he ain't shit. 817 00:32:05,767 --> 00:32:07,135 He's a nobody. 818 00:32:07,168 --> 00:32:08,636 Can't do an impression of him. 819 00:32:08,670 --> 00:32:11,106 You do an almost impression. 820 00:32:11,139 --> 00:32:12,841 That was almost him right there. 821 00:32:14,310 --> 00:32:16,878 There he almost go again. 822 00:32:16,911 --> 00:32:18,079 Nothing after nothing. 823 00:32:18,113 --> 00:32:20,216 Do it one more time. 824 00:32:20,249 --> 00:32:22,251 There he is again. You see him? 825 00:32:24,719 --> 00:32:27,389 Wish I could make a living doing Deandre McDonald. 826 00:32:29,023 --> 00:32:30,058 Again! 827 00:32:31,693 --> 00:32:33,161 He's a weak-ass... 828 00:32:33,195 --> 00:32:35,830 - fake-ass wannabe comedian. - Yes, sir. 829 00:32:35,864 --> 00:32:37,665 - And I'm the real thing. - Yes, you are. 830 00:32:37,699 --> 00:32:39,134 Original. 831 00:32:39,167 --> 00:32:42,003 You understand the words coming out of my beak? 832 00:32:42,036 --> 00:32:44,340 Deandre McDonald is nothing. 833 00:32:44,373 --> 00:32:45,740 Ghetto bird. 834 00:32:45,773 --> 00:32:46,975 Ain't got no time to be worried about him. 835 00:32:47,008 --> 00:32:49,378 He'll never be the big bird on the block, ya underdig me? 836 00:32:50,179 --> 00:32:51,646 - Never. - Never. 837 00:32:57,018 --> 00:32:59,188 They say black people don't snitch. Shit, I snitched! 838 00:32:59,221 --> 00:33:02,123 I've been a snitch since I've been 12 years old. 839 00:33:02,157 --> 00:33:04,792 I remember my mother came home from work one day... 840 00:33:04,826 --> 00:33:06,295 and she told me and my brother and my sister, 841 00:33:06,328 --> 00:33:08,029 "I'mma whoop everybody ass in here 842 00:33:08,062 --> 00:33:10,399 "till somebody tell me who broke my lamp!" 843 00:33:10,432 --> 00:33:11,900 I looked her straight in her face, 844 00:33:11,933 --> 00:33:13,302 "Then no need to hit me. 845 00:33:15,404 --> 00:33:17,872 "Matter of fact, grab that belt and meet me in the kitchen." 846 00:33:19,073 --> 00:33:20,476 I go, "Shit, I'm about to tell you! 847 00:33:20,509 --> 00:33:22,143 "You gonna cook me something to eat!" 848 00:33:23,345 --> 00:33:25,914 Are y'all ready to continue this show? 849 00:33:25,947 --> 00:33:29,083 Welcome to the Laugh Out Loud Comedy Showcase. 850 00:33:29,117 --> 00:33:31,253 One of these comedians tonight will win 851 00:33:31,287 --> 00:33:34,789 the opportunity to tour around the world. 852 00:33:34,822 --> 00:33:37,226 I'm Franklin, your MC for tonight, 853 00:33:37,259 --> 00:33:38,327 and we got some comedians 854 00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:40,094 that's gonna come out here and make you laugh. 855 00:33:40,128 --> 00:33:42,198 So, start putting your hands together right now! 856 00:33:42,231 --> 00:33:44,333 Give it up for Miss Ebony! 857 00:33:48,237 --> 00:33:51,072 Hey! What's up, y'all? 858 00:33:52,441 --> 00:33:53,908 Yeah, please vote for me 859 00:33:53,942 --> 00:33:55,177 so I don't wind up on this pole. 860 00:33:56,245 --> 00:33:58,913 You can tell when a friend don't have your back 861 00:33:58,947 --> 00:34:00,482 when they start asking you stuff like, 862 00:34:00,516 --> 00:34:02,384 "Um, you wanna take a shot?" 863 00:34:02,418 --> 00:34:04,152 You be like, "A shot of what?" 864 00:34:04,186 --> 00:34:06,087 He like, "Patron and Hennessy." 865 00:34:06,921 --> 00:34:08,224 "Together?" 866 00:34:08,257 --> 00:34:10,259 "I ain't drinking no Patrennessy!" 867 00:34:10,292 --> 00:34:12,060 Mr. LaMont Keish! 868 00:34:14,263 --> 00:34:16,097 One of my best friends growing up 869 00:34:16,130 --> 00:34:18,267 was this white boy named Bobby Jack. 870 00:34:18,300 --> 00:34:21,303 His dad would say some borderline racist shit like, 871 00:34:21,337 --> 00:34:23,938 "Don't you have Bobby Jack out too late... 872 00:34:23,972 --> 00:34:26,074 "or you're gonna have to hang by yourself!" 873 00:34:29,278 --> 00:34:30,812 Y'all weren't expecting a black woman 874 00:34:30,845 --> 00:34:32,146 to come up here named Montana. 875 00:34:32,181 --> 00:34:34,250 First thing I get when I win is 876 00:34:34,283 --> 00:34:35,817 I'm changing my name to Keisha. 877 00:34:37,018 --> 00:34:39,221 There's always that one girl to save your ass like, 878 00:34:39,255 --> 00:34:41,155 "Look like your friend about to throw up. 879 00:34:42,424 --> 00:34:44,393 "Y'all need to get him outside." 880 00:34:45,860 --> 00:34:47,229 You know when gangbangers get mad? 881 00:34:47,263 --> 00:34:49,331 They get like them John McCain arms. You know what I mean? 882 00:34:53,502 --> 00:34:55,371 Come on! 883 00:34:55,404 --> 00:34:57,373 Are y'all ready to continue this show? 884 00:34:58,507 --> 00:35:00,875 I said, are y'all ready to continue this show? 885 00:35:02,043 --> 00:35:05,980 Our last contestant is from Birmingham, Alabama. 886 00:35:06,014 --> 00:35:09,150 You might recognize him from all the crazy, crazy posts 887 00:35:09,184 --> 00:35:10,885 he has on the internet. 888 00:35:10,918 --> 00:35:14,223 We need a lot of energy and we want y'all to have time. 889 00:35:14,256 --> 00:35:16,124 You're up. You got five minutes. 890 00:35:16,157 --> 00:35:17,925 Go a second over, you're disqualified. 891 00:35:17,959 --> 00:35:19,194 Okay, cool. Thank you. 892 00:35:19,827 --> 00:35:21,397 All right. You ready, baby? 893 00:35:22,030 --> 00:35:23,432 Huh? 894 00:35:23,465 --> 00:35:25,133 Boom! Kill it! 895 00:35:25,166 --> 00:35:26,834 - Let's go. You ready? - I'm ready. 896 00:35:26,868 --> 00:35:29,103 Deandre McDonald! 897 00:35:30,372 --> 00:35:31,839 Let's go! 898 00:35:38,414 --> 00:35:40,449 What up? 899 00:35:40,482 --> 00:35:41,949 What's going on, peoples? 900 00:35:41,983 --> 00:35:45,086 I'm from Birmingham, Alabama. 901 00:35:45,119 --> 00:35:47,323 - Uh, anybody been there? - No. 902 00:35:47,356 --> 00:35:48,990 - Anybody from there? - No. 903 00:35:49,023 --> 00:35:50,426 Good. 'Cause it sucks! 904 00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:54,062 Like that shit suck bad, and it's racist, too. 905 00:35:54,095 --> 00:35:55,963 Birmingham, Alabama, is racist as shit. 906 00:35:55,997 --> 00:35:58,567 Like, white dude, right now. 907 00:35:58,600 --> 00:36:01,437 When you come down there your voice will probably be the GPS 908 00:36:01,470 --> 00:36:03,505 that say this shit right here. "Nigga, you moved the wrong fucking way." 909 00:36:03,539 --> 00:36:06,575 That's the fuck what would happen. 910 00:36:06,608 --> 00:36:08,910 Eddie Murphy would be a dope-ass GPS motherfucker. 911 00:36:08,943 --> 00:36:12,247 Hey, hey, motherfucker, wait, wait, wait! One second. 912 00:36:12,281 --> 00:36:14,015 So your ass was supposed to go south. 913 00:36:14,048 --> 00:36:15,617 You were supposed to go south. Your ass went north, 914 00:36:15,651 --> 00:36:17,885 and now you sittin' here looking stupid as a motherfucker. 915 00:36:17,919 --> 00:36:19,087 You were supposed to go to Texas. 916 00:36:19,120 --> 00:36:20,322 You supposed to go to Texas. 917 00:36:20,356 --> 00:36:21,390 You were supposed to be in Texas, motherfucker! 918 00:36:21,423 --> 00:36:23,057 But now you can't go to Texas. You know why? 919 00:36:23,091 --> 00:36:24,125 'Cause your ass is at a different place. 920 00:36:24,158 --> 00:36:25,059 You at a different motherfucking place. 921 00:36:25,093 --> 00:36:26,362 You at different motherfucking place! 922 00:36:26,395 --> 00:36:27,329 If you had listened, 923 00:36:27,363 --> 00:36:28,630 you would've been in the right place! 924 00:36:28,664 --> 00:36:30,098 But now, you stuck. 925 00:36:35,002 --> 00:36:35,870 I'm Deandre McDonald. 926 00:36:35,903 --> 00:36:37,439 That's been my time. Thank you all so much. 927 00:36:37,473 --> 00:36:39,040 All right! 928 00:36:40,442 --> 00:36:42,076 Give it up for Deandre! 929 00:36:44,646 --> 00:36:47,549 So, can I have the following contestants please step forward? 930 00:36:48,717 --> 00:36:49,951 Ebony! 931 00:36:51,953 --> 00:36:54,390 That's right, y'all! That's right! 932 00:36:54,423 --> 00:36:57,226 Thank you! Thank you! I love y'all! 933 00:36:57,259 --> 00:36:59,361 DeJuan Bickerstaff! 934 00:36:59,395 --> 00:37:01,129 Whoo! I told you! I told you! I told you! 935 00:37:01,162 --> 00:37:02,964 You were right! You were right! 936 00:37:02,997 --> 00:37:05,166 - I'm a winner! I'm a winner! - He's a winner! 937 00:37:06,402 --> 00:37:08,303 LaMont Keish! 938 00:37:13,275 --> 00:37:15,109 Paul Wilds! 939 00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:20,582 And last but not least... 940 00:37:25,019 --> 00:37:26,722 Montana Prestley! 941 00:37:37,299 --> 00:37:39,234 Hold on, one second. 942 00:37:39,268 --> 00:37:40,269 Actually, um... 943 00:37:41,203 --> 00:37:43,272 I'm sorry, uh, Ebony. 944 00:37:43,305 --> 00:37:45,441 Uh, you went over your time, so, unfortunately... 945 00:37:47,176 --> 00:37:48,377 you're disqualified. 946 00:37:48,410 --> 00:37:50,077 What are you talking about? I didn't go over my time! 947 00:37:50,111 --> 00:37:52,146 I was on time! What are you talking about? 948 00:37:52,181 --> 00:37:53,749 You did, by 27 seconds. 949 00:37:53,782 --> 00:37:56,418 The fuck are you talking about, 27 seconds? 950 00:37:56,452 --> 00:37:59,188 Whose fucking clock were you using back there? 951 00:37:59,221 --> 00:38:02,291 I am on time! I'm always on time! I never go over! 952 00:38:02,324 --> 00:38:04,526 Matter of fact, doctor told me to push my baby out on three, 953 00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:06,428 I pushed it out on three, bitch! 954 00:38:06,462 --> 00:38:09,063 Yeah. What? 955 00:38:09,096 --> 00:38:11,533 I protest it. 956 00:38:11,567 --> 00:38:14,503 Colin Kaepernick up in this bitch! 957 00:38:14,536 --> 00:38:17,639 That's right! Take a knee, motherfuckers! 958 00:38:17,673 --> 00:38:19,475 Take a knee! 959 00:38:20,609 --> 00:38:24,680 I deserve to be up in here! Everybody know it! 960 00:38:24,713 --> 00:38:26,682 - Thank you. All right. - Yeah! Thank you! 961 00:38:26,715 --> 00:38:28,250 - Thank you so much. - One more thing. 962 00:38:28,283 --> 00:38:29,351 One more thing, one more thing! 963 00:38:29,384 --> 00:38:30,385 No, it's okay. 964 00:38:30,419 --> 00:38:33,020 Follow me on Twitter, Ebonyforreallaughs. 965 00:38:34,356 --> 00:38:35,390 Thank you. 966 00:38:37,091 --> 00:38:38,694 So, listen, that being said... 967 00:38:38,727 --> 00:38:41,028 Uh, Deandre McDonald, please step forward. 968 00:38:50,239 --> 00:38:51,773 That was close. 969 00:38:51,807 --> 00:38:54,610 I gotta tighten up my set, come up with some new shit. 970 00:38:54,643 --> 00:38:56,512 Man, you gonna be all right. We got a couple days 971 00:38:56,545 --> 00:38:57,813 till the next two rounds, man. 972 00:38:57,846 --> 00:38:59,615 We gonna get you straight, baby! 973 00:38:59,648 --> 00:39:01,750 Another round of Cuervo for the finalist? 974 00:39:01,783 --> 00:39:04,620 Actually, the semi-finalist, thank you very... 975 00:39:04,653 --> 00:39:07,789 Oh, my, my, my, my, my! 976 00:39:07,823 --> 00:39:09,291 Okay, yeah. 977 00:39:09,324 --> 00:39:10,592 Let me look at you, sweetheart. 978 00:39:10,626 --> 00:39:12,427 You got your microwavable black pants on, 979 00:39:12,461 --> 00:39:13,829 that's what you got. 980 00:39:13,862 --> 00:39:16,498 Oh, you got that Zara shirt on. That's dope. 981 00:39:16,532 --> 00:39:18,634 Are you Creole? You look Creole. You Creole? 982 00:39:22,304 --> 00:39:24,306 I love Creole food. 983 00:39:25,574 --> 00:39:27,242 - Is he always like this? - Yes. 984 00:39:27,276 --> 00:39:29,478 Uh, yeah, when he drinking Cuervo. 985 00:39:29,511 --> 00:39:31,446 So you checked out my set? 986 00:39:31,480 --> 00:39:33,749 - Mmm. Not just you... - Uh-huh. 987 00:39:33,782 --> 00:39:35,149 ...but I peeped it. You weren't bad. 988 00:39:35,183 --> 00:39:36,251 Mmm-hmm. 989 00:39:36,285 --> 00:39:37,753 You weren't good enough to get through 990 00:39:37,786 --> 00:39:39,788 without somebody else getting disqualified. 991 00:39:39,821 --> 00:39:40,923 - Oh, shit! - Ooh! Damn! 992 00:39:40,956 --> 00:39:43,559 - You're throwing shade like... - Mmm. Mmm. 993 00:39:43,592 --> 00:39:45,360 Yeah, go ahead and kick a brother 994 00:39:45,394 --> 00:39:46,628 while he's down. Yeah, sure. 995 00:39:46,662 --> 00:39:49,031 Are you down? 996 00:39:49,898 --> 00:39:51,633 No. 997 00:39:51,667 --> 00:39:52,734 Yes? 998 00:39:52,768 --> 00:39:54,369 Wait, what do you mean? 999 00:39:55,837 --> 00:39:58,707 Wait, wait, wait! Don't go! I am! I think. 1000 00:39:58,740 --> 00:40:00,342 Wait, what do you mean? 1001 00:40:06,481 --> 00:40:08,350 Oh. Wait a minute. 1002 00:40:08,383 --> 00:40:10,586 I just got tagged in this post on Facebook. 1003 00:40:11,520 --> 00:40:13,455 Like I give a fuck 1004 00:40:13,488 --> 00:40:16,892 about what some internet motherfucker say about me! 1005 00:40:16,925 --> 00:40:18,493 Is he talking about you? 1006 00:40:18,527 --> 00:40:20,762 - Deandre McDonald is nothing. - Ooh. 1007 00:40:20,796 --> 00:40:23,198 Okay. I'mma take that as a yes. 1008 00:40:23,231 --> 00:40:25,767 He's a weak-ass wannabe comedian. 1009 00:40:25,801 --> 00:40:27,603 He'll never be the big bird in the flock. 1010 00:40:27,636 --> 00:40:29,338 Yeah, this is great. 1011 00:40:29,371 --> 00:40:30,305 - That's great? - Mmm-hmm. 1012 00:40:30,339 --> 00:40:32,641 What's so great about the biggest comedy star 1013 00:40:32,674 --> 00:40:34,209 in the world being mad at you? 1014 00:40:34,242 --> 00:40:35,477 Because the biggest comedy star 1015 00:40:35,510 --> 00:40:37,212 in the world is talking about me. 1016 00:40:37,245 --> 00:40:38,847 Oh, I see what you saying. 1017 00:40:38,880 --> 00:40:40,649 - Yeah. - Congratulations! 1018 00:40:40,682 --> 00:40:42,250 - Are you about to... - Yup! 1019 00:40:42,284 --> 00:40:43,352 - You about to drop some fire? - Hell yeah. Let's do it. 1020 00:40:43,385 --> 00:40:44,486 Drop some fire, dawg. 1021 00:40:45,921 --> 00:40:47,756 Hey, yo, what up, y'all? Real quick. 1022 00:40:47,789 --> 00:40:48,857 Did y'all see that video 1023 00:40:48,890 --> 00:40:50,826 where Marques Black was talking shit about me? 1024 00:40:50,859 --> 00:40:53,295 We all saw the crow suit. 1025 00:40:53,328 --> 00:40:54,496 Bruh, let me tell you, really? 1026 00:40:54,529 --> 00:40:56,231 You comfortable with that as an actor? 1027 00:40:56,264 --> 00:40:58,467 Playing a crow? Really? 1028 00:40:58,500 --> 00:41:00,167 My black ass can play a crow. You know why? 1029 00:41:00,202 --> 00:41:01,236 Because I'm broke as shit 1030 00:41:01,269 --> 00:41:02,337 and I'll do anything for money. 1031 00:41:02,371 --> 00:41:03,438 But I wouldn't let you play a crow. 1032 00:41:03,472 --> 00:41:04,506 Yeah, exactly. 1033 00:41:04,539 --> 00:41:06,208 I wouldn't let you play a crow. 1034 00:41:06,241 --> 00:41:08,210 You wouldn't. Dude, you could've been a peacock. 1035 00:41:08,243 --> 00:41:09,378 Could've been. 1036 00:41:09,411 --> 00:41:10,812 - Could've been a flamingo. - Yeah. 1037 00:41:10,846 --> 00:41:12,381 - Could've been a rooster. - All day. 1038 00:41:13,548 --> 00:41:15,217 Some shit like that. Bruh? 1039 00:41:15,250 --> 00:41:17,185 Real talk, man. Look, look, look. 1040 00:41:17,219 --> 00:41:18,620 Have some self-respect. 1041 00:41:18,654 --> 00:41:19,888 I could imagine he was just sitting there 1042 00:41:19,921 --> 00:41:21,523 before his decision, right? 1043 00:41:21,556 --> 00:41:23,859 Hmm... 1044 00:41:23,892 --> 00:41:25,794 Should I play a racist, 1045 00:41:25,827 --> 00:41:29,598 jive-time walking, jive-time talking fucking crow, 1046 00:41:29,631 --> 00:41:31,533 whose name happens to be Jim Crow 1047 00:41:31,566 --> 00:41:33,268 and lives up in a tree? 1048 00:41:33,301 --> 00:41:35,771 Which is not a euphemism for lynching at all. 1049 00:41:35,804 --> 00:41:37,439 Nah, I ain't mad at you, Marques. 1050 00:41:37,472 --> 00:41:39,741 I'm mad at your whole team. You know what I'm saying? 1051 00:41:39,775 --> 00:41:42,511 You need to fire everybody in your corner. 1052 00:41:42,544 --> 00:41:44,513 Uh, thanks for the shout-out, boo! 1053 00:41:44,546 --> 00:41:46,515 Smooches! 1054 00:41:46,548 --> 00:41:47,683 Oh, shit! 1055 00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:54,423 Wait a minute now. 1056 00:41:54,456 --> 00:41:56,625 You know you gotta post that, right? 1057 00:41:56,658 --> 00:41:58,960 - We got to. - Got to. Good shit. 1058 00:42:02,330 --> 00:42:03,532 That video, I got over 25,000 views! 1059 00:42:03,565 --> 00:42:04,833 Why the fuck are you hitting me so hard? 1060 00:42:04,866 --> 00:42:06,034 Don't hit me that hard. 1061 00:42:06,068 --> 00:42:09,504 Hey, hey, hey, hey, wait, wait, wait! What, you, uh, out? 1062 00:42:09,538 --> 00:42:12,374 Yeah, I have a show to host. 1063 00:42:12,407 --> 00:42:13,942 Oh. What kind of show? 1064 00:42:14,242 --> 00:42:15,510 Comedy. 1065 00:42:15,544 --> 00:42:16,878 What? 1066 00:42:16,912 --> 00:42:18,547 I just figured, when we were talking about 1067 00:42:18,580 --> 00:42:20,515 the showcase, you would've mentioned it. 1068 00:42:20,549 --> 00:42:22,551 Well, I don't mention a lot of shit. 1069 00:42:22,584 --> 00:42:24,519 Especially to guys I don't know. 1070 00:42:24,553 --> 00:42:26,288 Well, you know me now. 1071 00:42:26,722 --> 00:42:28,356 Uh, no. Sorry, 1072 00:42:28,390 --> 00:42:29,858 I didn't mean to bump you. You don't know her. 1073 00:42:29,891 --> 00:42:30,759 You just met her. 1074 00:42:30,792 --> 00:42:32,761 And then y'all talked for two minutes, 1075 00:42:32,794 --> 00:42:33,995 and now you outside, stalking her 1076 00:42:34,029 --> 00:42:35,530 in front of the club in the heart of darkness 1077 00:42:35,564 --> 00:42:36,665 asking for her resume. 1078 00:42:36,698 --> 00:42:39,000 Dawg, you are the definition of "stranger danger." 1079 00:42:39,034 --> 00:42:40,635 She shouldn't tell you shit. 1080 00:42:40,669 --> 00:42:43,605 - He's not wrong. - Hey, tell all your friends. 1081 00:42:43,638 --> 00:42:44,706 Can you please tell all your friends? 1082 00:42:44,740 --> 00:42:45,774 Word? 1083 00:42:45,807 --> 00:42:47,309 - Thank you. - You defending him? 1084 00:42:47,809 --> 00:42:49,444 You know what? I... 1085 00:42:50,946 --> 00:42:53,749 I just had someone cancel on me tonight. 1086 00:42:53,782 --> 00:42:54,916 So I have an open slot 1087 00:42:54,950 --> 00:42:56,585 if you wanna work out some material. 1088 00:42:56,618 --> 00:42:58,453 I'll take whatever you give me. 1089 00:42:58,920 --> 00:43:00,055 Cool. 1090 00:43:00,088 --> 00:43:02,758 - Comedy Basement, 10:00 p.m. - All right. 1091 00:43:02,791 --> 00:43:05,494 10:00 p.m. See you later. 1092 00:43:05,527 --> 00:43:07,662 I'll take whatever you can give me. 1093 00:43:16,772 --> 00:43:19,441 You sexy as hell! How you doing, girl? You can get it! 1094 00:43:20,575 --> 00:43:21,710 You come out of a clinic crying, 1095 00:43:21,743 --> 00:43:23,378 I'll still pick you up. 1096 00:43:25,747 --> 00:43:26,648 I'll be in the car, 1097 00:43:26,681 --> 00:43:28,750 "That doctor don't know everything!" 1098 00:43:30,719 --> 00:43:32,921 I can't remember none of my passwords. 1099 00:43:32,954 --> 00:43:35,524 I changed all my passwords to "incorrect." 1100 00:43:37,659 --> 00:43:39,895 I push any key, "Your password incorrect." 1101 00:43:39,928 --> 00:43:41,096 Thank you. 1102 00:43:43,465 --> 00:43:44,866 I gotta get out of here. I love y'all! 1103 00:43:45,901 --> 00:43:48,804 Wow. 1104 00:43:48,837 --> 00:43:50,939 All right, all right! You guys having a good time? 1105 00:43:50,972 --> 00:43:53,475 Doing good? 1106 00:43:53,508 --> 00:43:54,676 Okay. 1107 00:43:54,709 --> 00:43:56,812 So, let's keep the party going. 1108 00:43:56,845 --> 00:43:59,014 This next guy is new to town... 1109 00:43:59,047 --> 00:44:00,782 and is a semi-finalist 1110 00:44:00,816 --> 00:44:03,885 in the Laugh Out Loud Comedy Showcase. 1111 00:44:03,919 --> 00:44:06,621 Give it up for Deandre McDonald! 1112 00:44:13,795 --> 00:44:16,031 Taylor Jones. Give it up for her one more time. 1113 00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:21,469 Ah, shit. 1114 00:44:21,503 --> 00:44:24,139 I am so happy to be here, man. 1115 00:44:24,172 --> 00:44:27,475 I'm from, you know, from, I'm from Birmingham, Alabama. 1116 00:44:27,509 --> 00:44:28,877 Small town, you know? 1117 00:44:28,910 --> 00:44:30,512 Anybody from there? 1118 00:44:30,545 --> 00:44:31,746 I am. What about it? 1119 00:44:33,815 --> 00:44:34,916 Oh. 1120 00:44:34,950 --> 00:44:36,051 Cool, that's... 1121 00:44:36,084 --> 00:44:38,787 You needed audience to say, "No, we not from there," 1122 00:44:38,820 --> 00:44:40,622 so you can tell us all about it? 1123 00:44:42,858 --> 00:44:43,992 Yeah, man. 1124 00:44:45,194 --> 00:44:46,528 You got me. 1125 00:44:46,928 --> 00:44:48,096 Great. 1126 00:44:48,129 --> 00:44:52,100 Uh, well, if you're not from Birmingham, Alabama... 1127 00:44:52,133 --> 00:44:53,368 consider yourself lucky... 1128 00:44:53,401 --> 00:44:55,003 - 'cause I'm gonna tell you... - 'Cause it sucks, right? 1129 00:44:56,071 --> 00:44:57,572 It's gotta suck. 1130 00:44:57,606 --> 00:44:59,774 It's not funny if it doesn't suck, folks. 1131 00:44:59,808 --> 00:45:02,410 Uh... 1132 00:45:02,444 --> 00:45:05,914 Yeah, man, it sucks. It's terrible. 1133 00:45:07,048 --> 00:45:08,783 It's bad. 1134 00:45:08,817 --> 00:45:09,918 Not bad and boujee. 1135 00:45:09,951 --> 00:45:11,987 The shit just bad. 1136 00:45:12,020 --> 00:45:13,154 So you ever notice 1137 00:45:13,189 --> 00:45:14,522 that your girl's kind of a hypocrite? 1138 00:45:14,556 --> 00:45:15,757 - Yeah. - You know what I'm saying? 1139 00:45:15,790 --> 00:45:17,158 Thank you. 1140 00:45:17,193 --> 00:45:18,793 Thank you, Snoop Khalifa. I appreciate that. 1141 00:45:19,728 --> 00:45:21,496 I appreciate that. 1142 00:45:21,529 --> 00:45:23,598 Think about that. She is though! 1143 00:45:23,632 --> 00:45:25,700 She can get naked in front of her friends. 1144 00:45:25,734 --> 00:45:27,002 - But as soon as I try... - Soon as you do it, 1145 00:45:27,035 --> 00:45:30,005 it's a whole different story, right? That's the punch line? 1146 00:45:38,546 --> 00:45:41,416 That was the punch line. He is good! 1147 00:45:44,986 --> 00:45:45,987 Yeah. 1148 00:45:47,088 --> 00:45:48,190 All right. 1149 00:45:48,224 --> 00:45:50,625 Give it up for him trying to be a comedian here tonight. 1150 00:45:50,659 --> 00:45:52,127 He did a good job, 1151 00:45:52,160 --> 00:45:54,863 except for the part where he let a real comedian 1152 00:45:54,896 --> 00:45:58,033 come up and stop him in the middle of his own show. 1153 00:45:58,066 --> 00:46:00,502 But let me tell them what they missing. 1154 00:46:00,535 --> 00:46:02,637 Oh. Y'all was gonna love it! 1155 00:46:02,671 --> 00:46:06,007 It is the best hack shit you ever heard! 1156 00:46:06,041 --> 00:46:08,143 So he's gonna tell us all about relationships 1157 00:46:08,177 --> 00:46:10,045 and how hard those are. Right? 1158 00:46:10,078 --> 00:46:12,514 Then he's gonna segue into differences 1159 00:46:12,547 --> 00:46:13,815 between black people and white people. 1160 00:46:13,848 --> 00:46:15,550 Weren't you? 1161 00:46:15,583 --> 00:46:17,552 - Yeah. - Yup, yup. 1162 00:46:17,585 --> 00:46:19,188 Then talk about rap music so you could do 1163 00:46:19,221 --> 00:46:21,089 your little lazy Jay-Z impression? 1164 00:46:25,126 --> 00:46:27,696 There it is. That's the one I was talking about, yup. 1165 00:46:27,729 --> 00:46:28,964 You was gonna talk about politics, 1166 00:46:28,997 --> 00:46:30,498 so you could do Obama, right? 1167 00:46:30,532 --> 00:46:32,167 I was gonna do Trump, actually. 1168 00:46:32,201 --> 00:46:36,137 Obama is out and Trump is in. How progressive of you. 1169 00:46:38,240 --> 00:46:41,142 He was gonna do Tracy Morgan and Chris Rock. 1170 00:46:41,177 --> 00:46:42,244 Were they what you gonna do? 1171 00:46:42,278 --> 00:46:44,813 I was gonna do Mike Epps. That's what I was gonna do. 1172 00:46:44,846 --> 00:46:46,915 - Yeah, of course you were. - But you know what, man? 1173 00:46:46,948 --> 00:46:48,850 But Mike Epps is probably doing Mike Epps. 1174 00:46:48,883 --> 00:46:50,085 Why don't you do you? 1175 00:46:52,887 --> 00:46:55,056 Do your shit. Talk about your life. 1176 00:46:55,090 --> 00:46:56,558 But you can't, 1177 00:46:56,591 --> 00:46:58,927 'cause you practiced this shit on YouTube! 1178 00:46:58,960 --> 00:47:00,262 - Yeah? - Yeah. 1179 00:47:00,829 --> 00:47:03,565 I get them views though. 1180 00:47:03,598 --> 00:47:06,034 He get them views though. 1181 00:47:06,735 --> 00:47:08,270 Yeah. 1182 00:47:08,304 --> 00:47:10,905 Let me ask you a question. 1183 00:47:10,939 --> 00:47:12,941 If a dog took a shit in the middle of this room, 1184 00:47:12,974 --> 00:47:14,976 wouldn't everybody view it? 1185 00:47:16,845 --> 00:47:19,614 That's your whole career, my dude. 1186 00:47:20,249 --> 00:47:22,150 We look at you 1187 00:47:22,184 --> 00:47:25,020 when we waiting in line, or we waiting on a Uber. 1188 00:47:25,053 --> 00:47:26,688 That's when you get a view. 1189 00:47:26,721 --> 00:47:28,123 When we taking a shit, 1190 00:47:28,156 --> 00:47:29,824 we view the shit, 1191 00:47:29,858 --> 00:47:31,559 then we view you. 1192 00:47:31,593 --> 00:47:32,827 Two views. 1193 00:47:34,162 --> 00:47:35,498 That's why it's called number two. 1194 00:47:35,530 --> 00:47:38,267 You see how it's a real joke crafted by a real comedian? 1195 00:47:38,300 --> 00:47:40,336 That's the difference there. That's the difference. 1196 00:47:40,369 --> 00:47:42,204 I'm not viewed. I'm an experience. 1197 00:47:42,238 --> 00:47:44,039 I'm here. I'm here. 1198 00:47:44,072 --> 00:47:46,107 That's places you'll never get to 1199 00:47:46,141 --> 00:47:48,244 with this weak-ass shit you serving 1200 00:47:48,277 --> 00:47:51,046 at the Comedy Basement this evening. 1201 00:47:51,079 --> 00:47:53,715 Anyway, folks, I'm sorry for bringing the mood down. 1202 00:47:53,748 --> 00:47:55,884 Drinks on me. Please enjoy the rest of your night. 1203 00:47:57,685 --> 00:47:59,954 Thank you for coming. God bless you. Good night. 1204 00:47:59,988 --> 00:48:01,923 It's still hot. You might wanna use this one. 1205 00:48:06,895 --> 00:48:08,330 How much money you think it was? 1206 00:48:08,364 --> 00:48:10,765 I think it was at least a G, maybe 1500, right? 1207 00:48:10,799 --> 00:48:13,335 He just threw the money on the fucking stage like it wasn't nothing. 1208 00:48:13,369 --> 00:48:14,669 Dre, did you see it? Of course you saw. 1209 00:48:14,702 --> 00:48:17,072 You was right there. He threw the fucking money in your face. 1210 00:48:17,105 --> 00:48:20,176 That's how I wanna be. I wanna be like Marques Black. 1211 00:48:20,209 --> 00:48:22,244 Hey, Benedict Arnold. Huh? Fuck Marques Black! Okay? 1212 00:48:22,278 --> 00:48:23,678 Oh, come on, man. Don't hate. 1213 00:48:23,711 --> 00:48:24,879 Don't hate 'cause he got money. 1214 00:48:24,913 --> 00:48:26,282 He wasn't wrong! 1215 00:48:26,315 --> 00:48:28,083 Y'all YouTubers don't appreciate 1216 00:48:28,116 --> 00:48:30,386 how much of an art stand-up is. 1217 00:48:30,419 --> 00:48:32,053 You wanna win this showcase, 1218 00:48:32,087 --> 00:48:34,190 you better step it up 'cause it's not a game out here. 1219 00:48:34,223 --> 00:48:35,458 Tell you what ain't a game. 1220 00:48:35,491 --> 00:48:38,294 The fact that you cannot get food in LA after 10:00 p.m. 1221 00:48:38,327 --> 00:48:40,028 That's how y'all stay so fucking skinny. 1222 00:48:40,061 --> 00:48:42,063 You don't have access to food late at night! 1223 00:48:42,097 --> 00:48:43,131 Maybe you better eat some sleep! 1224 00:48:43,164 --> 00:48:44,233 I'mma have to. Shit! 1225 00:48:44,266 --> 00:48:46,968 I ain't got no damn money. We broke, both of us! 1226 00:48:47,001 --> 00:48:48,770 - Here. - Together! 1227 00:48:48,803 --> 00:48:50,772 Take this. For tonight. 1228 00:48:50,805 --> 00:48:51,940 Wait, wait, wait. No, no, no. 1229 00:48:51,973 --> 00:48:55,244 No, thank you. I can't accept money for doing shows, 1230 00:48:55,277 --> 00:48:56,945 while I'm doing the showcase. 1231 00:48:56,978 --> 00:48:59,981 - Are you serious? - It's not for your show. 1232 00:49:00,014 --> 00:49:02,117 Actually, you owe me money for that bullshit, 1233 00:49:02,150 --> 00:49:04,752 so, come on, it's just a few bucks for some food. 1234 00:49:04,786 --> 00:49:07,021 What type of Lady and the Tramp cash grabbing... 1235 00:49:07,055 --> 00:49:09,191 - Let go! She's doing us a favor, man! - What the hell? 1236 00:49:09,225 --> 00:49:11,059 God damn! 1237 00:49:11,092 --> 00:49:13,895 You weren't lying, boy. It's just a few bucks. 1238 00:49:13,928 --> 00:49:15,663 But you know what? Beggars can't be choosers. 1239 00:49:15,697 --> 00:49:17,299 I'll give you 10. I'll keep 10. 1240 00:49:17,333 --> 00:49:19,134 Thank you, Taylor. I appreciate this. 1241 00:49:20,902 --> 00:49:22,637 Hey, yo, wait up! 1242 00:49:23,138 --> 00:49:24,273 Come on! 1243 00:49:24,306 --> 00:49:26,040 What up, buddy? 1244 00:49:26,074 --> 00:49:27,976 Thomas in piano is still messing with me. 1245 00:49:28,009 --> 00:49:28,977 What happened this time? 1246 00:49:29,010 --> 00:49:30,346 All I did was take the piano you made me 1247 00:49:30,379 --> 00:49:32,780 to class so I could show Miss Ellen. 1248 00:49:32,814 --> 00:49:36,252 Oh, Jaylin, you took the cardboard piano to class? 1249 00:49:36,285 --> 00:49:37,752 Yeah. 1250 00:49:37,785 --> 00:49:39,954 Buddy, that's an at home piano. 1251 00:49:39,988 --> 00:49:41,689 We don't show that to anybody. 1252 00:49:41,723 --> 00:49:43,259 Well, I think it's cool, 1253 00:49:43,292 --> 00:49:45,126 but they just kept on laughing at it, 1254 00:49:45,160 --> 00:49:47,061 saying that we can't afford a real piano. 1255 00:49:47,095 --> 00:49:50,765 That's 'cause it's not cool, Jaylin. 1256 00:49:50,798 --> 00:49:53,335 Didn't I tell you I was gonna get you a dope set of keys one day? 1257 00:49:53,835 --> 00:49:54,936 Yeah. 1258 00:49:54,969 --> 00:49:56,338 Then believe that. 1259 00:49:56,372 --> 00:49:58,907 Just keep the cardboard piano at home from now on. 1260 00:49:58,940 --> 00:50:00,309 - Okay? - All right. 1261 00:50:00,342 --> 00:50:01,843 Now where's your mom? 1262 00:50:01,876 --> 00:50:05,046 She's right here, reading her nurse book. 1263 00:50:05,079 --> 00:50:06,348 Go upstairs, baby. 1264 00:50:08,750 --> 00:50:09,751 What? 1265 00:50:11,019 --> 00:50:12,288 What up with you? 1266 00:50:12,321 --> 00:50:13,322 Nothing. 1267 00:50:14,223 --> 00:50:16,057 You pay the rent okay? 1268 00:50:16,090 --> 00:50:17,193 Yup. 1269 00:50:17,226 --> 00:50:19,761 Oh. I've been calling you. 1270 00:50:20,061 --> 00:50:21,297 So? 1271 00:50:21,330 --> 00:50:22,864 I made it to the second round 1272 00:50:22,897 --> 00:50:23,998 of the showcase. 1273 00:50:24,266 --> 00:50:25,267 Cool. 1274 00:50:26,468 --> 00:50:28,337 Oh, I get it. Yeah. 1275 00:50:28,370 --> 00:50:31,307 So we in the one word part of the fight, huh? 1276 00:50:31,340 --> 00:50:33,107 - Fuck you. - Ha! 1277 00:50:33,141 --> 00:50:35,477 Two words! That's progress. 1278 00:50:35,511 --> 00:50:38,046 I can see you smiling! 1279 00:50:38,079 --> 00:50:39,847 Bye, Deandre. Bye. 1280 00:50:39,881 --> 00:50:41,015 You so chocolatey mocha... 1281 00:50:45,019 --> 00:50:46,455 Shit! 1282 00:50:49,225 --> 00:50:51,393 License and registration. 1283 00:50:54,162 --> 00:50:55,197 Morning. 1284 00:50:55,231 --> 00:50:56,798 Uh, morning, Officer. 1285 00:50:56,831 --> 00:50:58,534 You do realize you're in a tow-away zone? 1286 00:50:58,567 --> 00:51:00,768 Oh, damn it! Well, uh... 1287 00:51:01,970 --> 00:51:04,072 Well, can I park over there? 1288 00:51:04,105 --> 00:51:06,242 Not if you're gonna fall asleep again. 1289 00:51:07,209 --> 00:51:08,444 Wait, are those braces? 1290 00:51:08,477 --> 00:51:10,446 What are you, a dental hygienist? 1291 00:51:10,479 --> 00:51:12,113 Ain't you a little too old to have braces? 1292 00:51:12,146 --> 00:51:13,415 You're not too old to get shot. 1293 00:51:13,449 --> 00:51:15,184 Okay, turning the car on 1294 00:51:15,217 --> 00:51:16,985 and getting the fuck out of here. 1295 00:51:22,591 --> 00:51:24,293 Not only did the superstar rant about 1296 00:51:24,326 --> 00:51:25,994 the Instagram comedian, 1297 00:51:26,027 --> 00:51:29,331 he heckled him at the poor kid's amateur comedy show. 1298 00:51:29,365 --> 00:51:31,400 This is all in How to Be a Comedian 101. 1299 00:51:31,433 --> 00:51:34,068 He just began studying this, as y'all can tell. 1300 00:51:34,102 --> 00:51:35,337 Yeah. 1301 00:51:35,371 --> 00:51:38,039 With the pressure of his last few box office bombs 1302 00:51:38,072 --> 00:51:40,509 insiders suspect that Black is feeling threatened 1303 00:51:40,542 --> 00:51:42,110 by the comedy newcomer. 1304 00:51:42,143 --> 00:51:44,446 I don't feel threatened by shit. 1305 00:51:44,480 --> 00:51:45,648 Hmm. That's good. 1306 00:51:45,681 --> 00:51:49,050 If that was me, if somebody was trying to replace me... 1307 00:51:49,083 --> 00:51:50,419 I'd be scared. 1308 00:51:50,452 --> 00:51:51,520 I'd be writing my will right now. 1309 00:51:51,553 --> 00:51:52,854 'Cause if you play it back, right? 1310 00:51:52,887 --> 00:51:53,988 - Jethro. - If you look 1311 00:51:54,022 --> 00:51:55,990 - at what he said... - Jethro. 1312 00:51:56,024 --> 00:51:57,992 If you wanna keep coming to work with me... 1313 00:51:58,960 --> 00:52:00,895 shut the fuck up. 1314 00:52:00,928 --> 00:52:02,096 Sorry, Uncle Nico. 1315 00:52:02,130 --> 00:52:03,332 Shut the fuck up. 1316 00:52:03,365 --> 00:52:06,235 And what box office bombs? I make hits. 1317 00:52:07,035 --> 00:52:09,271 Actually, your last few movies, 1318 00:52:09,305 --> 00:52:10,572 they ain't even on demand. Look. 1319 00:52:10,606 --> 00:52:12,140 If we go look for 'em... 1320 00:52:12,173 --> 00:52:13,174 Jethro... 1321 00:52:13,908 --> 00:52:16,110 I will have my dogs eat you alive, 1322 00:52:16,144 --> 00:52:17,513 if you don't shut the fuck up. 1323 00:52:20,516 --> 00:52:22,016 Marq, look, man. 1324 00:52:22,050 --> 00:52:24,052 You can't keep listening to them people, all right? 1325 00:52:24,085 --> 00:52:26,087 'Cause they gonna make a story about anything. 1326 00:52:26,120 --> 00:52:27,855 Another story gonna come in the news 1327 00:52:27,889 --> 00:52:29,224 and it's gonna knock this right out, 1328 00:52:29,258 --> 00:52:31,059 and ain't nobody gonna be worried about this shit. 1329 00:52:31,092 --> 00:52:33,061 - Don't even worry about that. - All right. 1330 00:52:33,094 --> 00:52:34,229 I would expect that from you, Nico. 1331 00:52:34,263 --> 00:52:35,464 My man. 1332 00:52:35,497 --> 00:52:36,864 'Cause this your fault. 1333 00:52:36,898 --> 00:52:38,467 How's it my fault? 1334 00:52:38,500 --> 00:52:39,601 You got me in a situation 1335 00:52:39,635 --> 00:52:41,603 where I can't trust nobody, Nico! 1336 00:52:41,637 --> 00:52:44,138 What have you managed to do but surround me 1337 00:52:44,172 --> 00:52:46,308 by motherfuckers I don't even fucking know? 1338 00:52:46,342 --> 00:52:47,476 I don't know her! 1339 00:52:47,509 --> 00:52:48,644 I don't know her! 1340 00:52:48,677 --> 00:52:51,280 I don't know none of these niggas! 1341 00:52:51,313 --> 00:52:53,215 Right now, in my very own house, 1342 00:52:53,248 --> 00:52:54,183 I could be talking 1343 00:52:54,216 --> 00:52:56,385 while a nigga's filming me in my mouth! 1344 00:52:56,418 --> 00:52:58,520 Ain't nobody filming you, Marq. Relax! 1345 00:52:58,554 --> 00:53:00,088 What you talking about? 1346 00:53:04,460 --> 00:53:05,960 Damn phone off! 1347 00:53:05,993 --> 00:53:06,961 Sorry. 1348 00:53:06,994 --> 00:53:08,896 This is a game to everybody but me and Nico. 1349 00:53:08,930 --> 00:53:10,666 I need you to fix this shit. 1350 00:53:10,699 --> 00:53:12,934 What am I supposed to do about that? 1351 00:53:12,967 --> 00:53:14,936 All right, well, you the manager. 1352 00:53:14,969 --> 00:53:16,938 Manage this shit! 1353 00:53:20,141 --> 00:53:21,210 Uncle Nico. 1354 00:53:22,411 --> 00:53:25,280 You think his dogs really be eating people? 1355 00:53:25,314 --> 00:53:27,416 That motherfucker almost bit me when I came in. 1356 00:53:28,183 --> 00:53:30,118 I'mma shoot you. 1357 00:53:30,151 --> 00:53:31,587 I'mma shoot you in the face. 1358 00:53:31,620 --> 00:53:32,654 You gonna shoot me? 1359 00:53:32,688 --> 00:53:34,356 I'mma shoot you in the face. 1360 00:53:42,331 --> 00:53:43,699 Wow. 1361 00:53:43,732 --> 00:53:46,134 Dudes be thirsty in Birmingham. 1362 00:53:46,167 --> 00:53:47,403 Uh, don't flatter yourself, okay? 1363 00:53:47,436 --> 00:53:48,504 I'm working on my jokes. 1364 00:53:48,537 --> 00:53:51,240 Oh, so there wasn't another bar in all of Los Angeles? 1365 00:53:51,273 --> 00:53:53,709 I guess if you did that, 1366 00:53:53,742 --> 00:53:56,245 you couldn't see my pretty face. 1367 00:53:56,278 --> 00:53:57,546 Who said you were pretty? 1368 00:53:57,579 --> 00:53:59,080 That look on your face. 1369 00:54:00,482 --> 00:54:01,650 Busted. 1370 00:54:01,683 --> 00:54:04,085 Well, I'm glad you're here. 1371 00:54:04,118 --> 00:54:07,222 Well, sorry, country boy. I don't have time to play. 1372 00:54:07,256 --> 00:54:09,491 I got work to do 'cause these jokes don't write themselves. 1373 00:54:09,525 --> 00:54:11,360 Hey, wait, wait, wait. 1374 00:54:11,393 --> 00:54:12,628 You write jokes? 1375 00:54:12,661 --> 00:54:14,128 Yeah. 1376 00:54:14,162 --> 00:54:16,964 I write, act, tell jokes. 1377 00:54:16,998 --> 00:54:18,467 I'm a one-stop shop. 1378 00:54:18,500 --> 00:54:20,536 Oh. Dope. 1379 00:54:20,569 --> 00:54:22,571 Just dope. 1380 00:54:22,604 --> 00:54:26,742 Uh, any help with your material? 1381 00:54:26,775 --> 00:54:28,644 You know, I give good notes, you know? 1382 00:54:28,677 --> 00:54:32,113 I am also known for my excellent timing 1383 00:54:32,146 --> 00:54:34,081 and sardonic wit. 1384 00:54:34,115 --> 00:54:36,485 Sardonic wit? Girl, that's a sex word. 1385 00:54:36,518 --> 00:54:38,253 If you don't get out of here, in the words of Eddie Murphy. 1386 00:54:38,287 --> 00:54:39,288 Girl, you better go ahead 1387 00:54:39,321 --> 00:54:40,589 and get out of here before something happens. 1388 00:54:40,622 --> 00:54:42,023 You know what I'm saying? 1389 00:54:42,056 --> 00:54:43,392 Listen, once you unload Pandora's box, 1390 00:54:43,425 --> 00:54:45,260 once you open Pandora's box, you can't close it. 1391 00:54:45,294 --> 00:54:46,361 That's right. Once you unleash the kraken, 1392 00:54:46,395 --> 00:54:47,663 it's gonna be crackin'! 1393 00:54:47,696 --> 00:54:49,364 Now, go ahead and get up out of here. 1394 00:54:49,398 --> 00:54:51,098 No, stay. Now, go. 1395 00:54:51,132 --> 00:54:52,334 Now, stay, go. Stay, go. 1396 00:54:59,675 --> 00:55:01,276 I dated a bisexual chick. 1397 00:55:01,310 --> 00:55:02,678 Couldn't trust her ass around nobody. 1398 00:55:03,812 --> 00:55:05,380 - Like that? - No. 1399 00:55:07,282 --> 00:55:09,384 Ah! Yeah, my perky tits. 1400 00:55:09,418 --> 00:55:11,420 This has been a rough year, people. Hasn't it? 1401 00:55:11,453 --> 00:55:13,722 I can't believe we have allowed this to happen, 1402 00:55:13,755 --> 00:55:15,324 as a country. 1403 00:55:15,357 --> 00:55:16,492 As a black man, I can't believe it. 1404 00:55:16,525 --> 00:55:18,627 As an American citizen, I can't believe this shit. 1405 00:55:18,660 --> 00:55:20,195 I feel like it's ridiculous. 1406 00:55:20,229 --> 00:55:22,331 I can't believe the Verizon man switched to Sprint. 1407 00:55:22,364 --> 00:55:24,031 I never thought that shit was gonna happen. 1408 00:55:35,744 --> 00:55:37,312 It's a bad time to be a creep. 1409 00:55:37,346 --> 00:55:39,781 You cannot be a creep anymore. 1410 00:55:39,815 --> 00:55:41,383 That goes for you, guy, right here. 1411 00:55:41,416 --> 00:55:42,784 You can't be a creep. 1412 00:55:42,818 --> 00:55:44,419 You can't be a creep anymore, man. 1413 00:55:44,453 --> 00:55:45,521 They getting everybody. 1414 00:55:53,295 --> 00:55:55,397 - Yo! - Is this a diary? 1415 00:55:55,430 --> 00:55:58,367 No, it's not a diary. I don't have a diary, okay? 1416 00:55:58,400 --> 00:55:59,401 Got a journal. 1417 00:55:59,434 --> 00:56:01,336 What y'all talkin' about? How Dre got a diary? 1418 00:56:01,370 --> 00:56:02,437 - Mmm-hmm. - Shut up, fool. 1419 00:56:02,471 --> 00:56:04,806 What? No, it's just where he complain about shit. 1420 00:56:05,641 --> 00:56:07,276 Okay, wait. 1421 00:56:08,744 --> 00:56:11,213 You made your son a piano out of cardboard? 1422 00:56:11,246 --> 00:56:12,180 Yes, I did. 1423 00:56:12,214 --> 00:56:14,349 I didn't have money to get him a real one 1424 00:56:14,383 --> 00:56:16,150 and he had to practice. 1425 00:56:17,619 --> 00:56:21,155 Okay, this shit is hilarious! 1426 00:56:21,189 --> 00:56:23,759 Glad you find my failures as a man funny... 1427 00:56:23,792 --> 00:56:25,727 - sweetheart. - Honestly, 1428 00:56:25,761 --> 00:56:27,229 that stuff is funnier than anything 1429 00:56:27,262 --> 00:56:28,430 you've said on that stage. 1430 00:56:29,264 --> 00:56:31,266 You should be using it. 1431 00:56:31,300 --> 00:56:34,168 Come on, you heard Marques the other night. 1432 00:56:34,803 --> 00:56:36,305 Tell your truth 1433 00:56:37,171 --> 00:56:38,774 and make it funny. 1434 00:56:41,910 --> 00:56:45,480 Nobody's gonna care about me being a shitty dad. 1435 00:56:45,514 --> 00:56:47,649 Yeah, except everyone in the audience 1436 00:56:47,683 --> 00:56:49,785 that also feels like a shitty dad. 1437 00:56:54,356 --> 00:56:55,557 Bruh, let me tell you, really? 1438 00:56:55,591 --> 00:56:57,492 You comfortable with that as an actor? 1439 00:56:57,526 --> 00:57:00,228 Am I gonna play a racist crow 1440 00:57:00,262 --> 00:57:02,598 whose name is actually Jim Crow 1441 00:57:02,631 --> 00:57:03,665 who lives in a tree, 1442 00:57:03,699 --> 00:57:06,368 which is not a euphemism for lynching at all. 1443 00:57:06,401 --> 00:57:07,703 What should I do? 1444 00:57:18,880 --> 00:57:20,816 Hey, let's get it, let's get it. 1445 00:57:20,849 --> 00:57:23,150 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where you going? 1446 00:57:23,185 --> 00:57:24,286 I thought you said we was going to Taylor's. 1447 00:57:24,319 --> 00:57:26,722 No, no, no. We ain't gonna do shit. 1448 00:57:26,755 --> 00:57:28,357 See, I'm gonna go hang out with Taylor. 1449 00:57:28,390 --> 00:57:29,391 - Really? - Yeah. 1450 00:57:29,424 --> 00:57:31,827 Dre, you don't even know this girl, man. Okay? 1451 00:57:31,860 --> 00:57:33,362 She could be a temptress. 1452 00:57:33,395 --> 00:57:34,896 I could be leaving you alone 1453 00:57:34,930 --> 00:57:36,732 in the clutches of a temptress. 1454 00:57:36,765 --> 00:57:37,899 When you make bad decisions, 1455 00:57:37,933 --> 00:57:39,067 it tends to reflect poorly on me. 1456 00:57:39,101 --> 00:57:41,236 Oh, it's not gonna reflect poorly on you, my brother. 1457 00:57:41,269 --> 00:57:44,439 Now, if you'll excuse me, my best friend, my brother. 1458 00:57:44,473 --> 00:57:46,375 Appreciate it. Yeah. 1459 00:57:46,408 --> 00:57:47,609 Hope it's worth it. 1460 00:57:53,649 --> 00:57:54,816 Shit! 1461 00:57:58,520 --> 00:58:01,223 Expecting a call? 1462 00:58:01,256 --> 00:58:02,724 Huh? What? 1463 00:58:02,758 --> 00:58:05,627 - Nah, baby, I'm here with you. - Mmm. 1464 00:58:05,661 --> 00:58:08,263 I know that, and you know that. 1465 00:58:08,296 --> 00:58:10,298 But does she know that? 1466 00:58:11,600 --> 00:58:14,302 - Yeah, I peeped your socials. - Mmm. 1467 00:58:16,672 --> 00:58:18,807 Who is Sky? 1468 00:58:20,842 --> 00:58:22,611 It's complicated. 1469 00:58:22,644 --> 00:58:23,745 Mmm. 1470 00:58:27,449 --> 00:58:28,717 Works for me. 1471 00:58:32,454 --> 00:58:33,522 Dre, you gotta take me to the hospital! 1472 00:58:33,555 --> 00:58:34,556 What? 1473 00:58:34,923 --> 00:58:37,325 Nigga! 1474 00:58:37,359 --> 00:58:38,593 You gotta take me to the hospital! 1475 00:58:38,627 --> 00:58:40,362 What? Why? 1476 00:58:40,395 --> 00:58:42,230 - Because I got cancer. - You have cancer? 1477 00:58:42,264 --> 00:58:43,565 - No, he got cancer. - I don't got cancer. 1478 00:58:43,598 --> 00:58:44,766 Wait. Do you have anything else? 1479 00:58:44,800 --> 00:58:46,501 - No. Do you? - No! 1480 00:58:46,535 --> 00:58:47,636 You know what? Y'all don't sound sure 1481 00:58:47,669 --> 00:58:48,804 so why don't we all get tested 1482 00:58:48,837 --> 00:58:49,938 before the fun stuff and then we'll save 1483 00:58:49,971 --> 00:58:51,373 this visit for another day. 1484 00:58:51,406 --> 00:58:52,808 - Wait, no, no! - We gotta go. 1485 00:58:52,841 --> 00:58:55,310 Let go, let go. Go, go. Go, go. 1486 00:58:55,343 --> 00:58:56,678 Have a good night. 1487 00:59:03,585 --> 00:59:06,421 Cancer? That's the most realistic excuse? 1488 00:59:06,455 --> 00:59:07,622 Dawg, I'm sorry. It's all I could think of. 1489 00:59:07,656 --> 00:59:08,924 I just had to get you out of there. 1490 00:59:08,957 --> 00:59:10,692 - I was good. - Whatever, man. 1491 00:59:10,726 --> 00:59:13,462 All I know is that if you fuck this up with Sky, 1492 00:59:13,495 --> 00:59:15,263 you gonna find some way to blame me. 1493 00:59:15,297 --> 00:59:16,965 - Like you did with jorts. - Hey. Jean shorts are a thing. 1494 00:59:16,998 --> 00:59:18,300 Not for your legs. 1495 00:59:18,333 --> 00:59:19,401 Oh, come on. Don't talk about my legs. 1496 00:59:19,434 --> 00:59:20,702 - They're my mama legs. - All right. 1497 00:59:20,736 --> 00:59:21,970 I don't know. You could've interrupted 1498 00:59:22,003 --> 00:59:23,505 something real, bruh. 1499 00:59:23,538 --> 00:59:24,773 You know, I'm just saying, Taylor gets me. 1500 00:59:24,806 --> 00:59:26,007 We care about the same things. 1501 00:59:26,041 --> 00:59:27,275 And she's fine. 1502 00:59:27,309 --> 00:59:28,977 - She's funny. - And she's fine. 1503 00:59:29,010 --> 00:59:32,314 And everything is just so easy with her, man. 1504 00:59:32,347 --> 00:59:34,783 With Sky, it's just so difficult and complicated. 1505 00:59:34,816 --> 00:59:35,884 This might be the one chance I got 1506 00:59:35,917 --> 00:59:37,285 to be with somebody 1507 00:59:37,319 --> 00:59:39,554 who wants the same things as me. 1508 00:59:39,588 --> 00:59:40,655 And she's fine. 1509 00:59:40,689 --> 00:59:42,557 Fine enough to only see your son on the weekends? 1510 00:59:42,591 --> 00:59:43,625 - No. - Exactly. 1511 00:59:43,658 --> 00:59:46,061 But a lot of good things happen on the weekends. 1512 00:59:46,094 --> 00:59:50,298 Uh, Saturday morning cartoons. Football. Bottomless mimosas. 1513 00:59:51,733 --> 00:59:53,869 - Yeah. - What? 1514 00:59:53,902 --> 00:59:56,037 Yes, yes, y'all. 1515 00:59:57,773 --> 00:59:59,274 So good. 1516 00:59:59,674 --> 01:00:02,043 Go, baby, go. 1517 01:00:02,077 --> 01:00:03,445 Oh, yeah! 1518 01:00:07,716 --> 01:00:09,851 So, let me see if I got this right. 1519 01:00:09,885 --> 01:00:13,722 So, a black man shucking and jiving... 1520 01:00:13,755 --> 01:00:15,891 in a crow suit with gold chains 1521 01:00:15,924 --> 01:00:18,493 is absolutely hilarious to y'all? 1522 01:00:18,527 --> 01:00:20,629 Oh, come on. No one thinks that. 1523 01:00:20,662 --> 01:00:22,364 I mean, you're killing it. 1524 01:00:22,397 --> 01:00:24,833 What do y'all think then? 1525 01:00:24,866 --> 01:00:26,768 We think that you're a comedic genius 1526 01:00:26,802 --> 01:00:28,503 who can do whatever he wants. 1527 01:00:30,672 --> 01:00:32,340 I'm with you. 1528 01:00:32,374 --> 01:00:33,909 He can do whatever he wants. 1529 01:00:33,942 --> 01:00:36,578 I wanna quit. 1530 01:00:36,611 --> 01:00:38,747 Uh, well, uh, you have a contract. 1531 01:00:38,780 --> 01:00:41,116 Yeah, well, fuck the contract. 1532 01:00:41,149 --> 01:00:43,018 If the contract means I gotta do this... 1533 01:00:44,686 --> 01:00:46,421 I just can't do it. 1534 01:00:46,454 --> 01:00:48,056 Look, we didn't mean any disrespect. 1535 01:00:48,089 --> 01:00:50,759 Marques, look, you're taking a beating in the press. 1536 01:00:50,792 --> 01:00:52,460 Okay, we get it. 1537 01:00:52,494 --> 01:00:56,565 If you want us to handle this McDonald kid, we got it. 1538 01:00:56,598 --> 01:00:58,867 Josh, I told you not to mention that. 1539 01:00:58,900 --> 01:01:00,101 What y'all gonna do anyway? 1540 01:01:00,135 --> 01:01:01,903 Rough him up in the alley or somethin'? 1541 01:01:03,038 --> 01:01:05,774 Just get the fuck outta here. Now. 1542 01:01:05,807 --> 01:01:07,142 - Okay. - We're sorry. 1543 01:01:07,176 --> 01:01:08,844 And we're going to leave right now. 1544 01:01:08,877 --> 01:01:10,579 That way. That way. 1545 01:01:10,612 --> 01:01:12,080 Back on my phone. 1546 01:01:12,113 --> 01:01:13,849 So, let me get this straight. 1547 01:01:13,882 --> 01:01:17,652 We are walkin' away from a $20 million paycheck 1548 01:01:17,686 --> 01:01:22,023 because you're mad at a social media influencer? 1549 01:01:22,057 --> 01:01:24,559 Who does that? What are you doin'? 1550 01:01:25,694 --> 01:01:27,762 What are you doin', Marq? Yo. 1551 01:01:28,797 --> 01:01:30,065 We're not walkin' away. 1552 01:01:30,599 --> 01:01:32,634 I am. 1553 01:01:32,667 --> 01:01:34,069 Turn this shit off. 1554 01:01:46,948 --> 01:01:48,617 Look at this punk. 1555 01:02:03,498 --> 01:02:05,100 Jaylin, what happened? 1556 01:02:05,133 --> 01:02:06,835 I got into a fight. Cool, huh? 1557 01:02:06,868 --> 01:02:09,205 No. Come on, boy, you know you ain't supposed to be fighting. 1558 01:02:09,238 --> 01:02:10,538 Did you win? 1559 01:02:10,572 --> 01:02:11,806 I think so. 1560 01:02:11,840 --> 01:02:13,708 Oh, that's my boy. Yeah. 1561 01:02:13,742 --> 01:02:15,644 It was that kid from piano class, huh? 1562 01:02:15,677 --> 01:02:17,479 Yeah. I ain't no punk. 1563 01:02:17,512 --> 01:02:18,713 I know you ain't no punk, boy. 1564 01:02:18,747 --> 01:02:20,048 You got hands like your father. 1565 01:02:20,081 --> 01:02:22,184 They're Muhammad Ali hands. That's what they are. 1566 01:02:22,218 --> 01:02:23,652 You float like a butterfly, 1567 01:02:23,685 --> 01:02:25,053 sting like a bee. 1568 01:02:25,086 --> 01:02:27,656 You're the world's greatest. And you're pretty. 1569 01:02:27,689 --> 01:02:29,457 Your head got baby hair. 1570 01:02:29,491 --> 01:02:31,559 - It's nice. - You're grounded, boy. 1571 01:02:31,593 --> 01:02:34,596 Go brush your teeth. Fast. 1572 01:02:34,629 --> 01:02:36,498 Baby, don't be so hard on the boy. 1573 01:02:36,531 --> 01:02:37,866 I wouldn't have to be 1574 01:02:37,899 --> 01:02:39,235 if his daddy was here to do it for me. 1575 01:02:39,268 --> 01:02:41,603 Oh, so I'm a deadbeat dad now, huh? 1576 01:02:41,636 --> 01:02:43,071 You know that's not what I meant. 1577 01:02:43,104 --> 01:02:45,674 Sky, I'm out here taking care of my business. 1578 01:02:45,707 --> 01:02:47,108 Why can't you just help me do that? 1579 01:02:47,142 --> 01:02:48,411 You know what, Deandre? 1580 01:02:48,443 --> 01:02:50,645 If you're taking care of you, and I'm taking care of you... 1581 01:02:50,679 --> 01:02:52,514 who is taking care of me? 1582 01:02:52,547 --> 01:02:53,815 I will. 1583 01:02:53,848 --> 01:02:56,885 As soon as I win this showcase and get back. 1584 01:02:56,918 --> 01:02:59,054 Sky, come on. This isn't us. 1585 01:02:59,087 --> 01:03:02,258 You know I got your back. Why can't you just have mine? 1586 01:03:02,291 --> 01:03:05,227 Can you do that for me? Baby? 1587 01:03:05,261 --> 01:03:07,495 ♪ Can you do that for me, baby? ♪ 1588 01:03:07,529 --> 01:03:09,231 ♪ Baby 1589 01:03:09,265 --> 01:03:10,732 Stop! 1590 01:03:10,765 --> 01:03:12,133 You know I don't like when you start singing. 1591 01:03:12,167 --> 01:03:14,035 Okay. Hey, is the boy gone? 1592 01:03:14,303 --> 01:03:15,637 Yeah. 1593 01:03:15,670 --> 01:03:16,771 Let me see your titty. 1594 01:03:16,805 --> 01:03:17,839 Just whip it out. 1595 01:03:17,872 --> 01:03:19,741 Show me a nipple or somethin'. 1596 01:03:19,774 --> 01:03:22,911 I need that. It's my life. They're nice and chocolatey. 1597 01:03:24,180 --> 01:03:25,847 Psych! Bye! 1598 01:04:09,191 --> 01:04:10,558 Boy crazy. 1599 01:04:10,592 --> 01:04:11,693 You believe this shit? 1600 01:04:12,994 --> 01:04:14,296 Me neither. I can't believe 1601 01:04:14,330 --> 01:04:15,897 the Verizon man switched to Sprint. 1602 01:04:15,930 --> 01:04:18,200 I never thought that shit was gonna happen. 1603 01:04:19,868 --> 01:04:21,770 - Boy is stupid. - I was like... 1604 01:04:24,606 --> 01:04:26,708 Who the hell? What? 1605 01:04:29,677 --> 01:04:31,012 What the hell? 1606 01:04:32,214 --> 01:04:34,616 I mean, if you into that kind of thing. 1607 01:04:44,959 --> 01:04:46,895 Look at this bitch one more time. 1608 01:04:57,705 --> 01:05:00,642 Oh, shit. 1609 01:05:08,950 --> 01:05:10,319 Oh, boy. 1610 01:05:10,352 --> 01:05:11,686 Never been so happy to see a bed in my life. 1611 01:05:11,719 --> 01:05:12,921 Right? 1612 01:05:12,954 --> 01:05:14,155 You sure we won't owe nobody? 1613 01:05:14,190 --> 01:05:16,124 Oh, I'm positive, Dre. 1614 01:05:16,157 --> 01:05:18,360 Pretty sure somebody let it slip 1615 01:05:18,394 --> 01:05:20,329 that we lost our hotel room somehow 1616 01:05:20,362 --> 01:05:22,264 and we been sleeping in our car. 1617 01:05:22,298 --> 01:05:24,200 Who you think let it slip? 1618 01:05:24,233 --> 01:05:26,935 Oh, it was me, Dre. I let it slip. 1619 01:05:26,968 --> 01:05:28,803 Of course. 1620 01:05:34,676 --> 01:05:36,010 No. 1621 01:05:36,044 --> 01:05:37,112 No, no, no, no. 1622 01:05:38,713 --> 01:05:39,881 What? What? 1623 01:05:39,914 --> 01:05:41,015 - No! No. - What? 1624 01:05:41,049 --> 01:05:42,784 - No. No. No. - What? 1625 01:05:42,817 --> 01:05:45,221 No, man. Taylor just tagged a pic of me on Facebook. 1626 01:05:45,254 --> 01:05:47,088 - And Sky saw it. - How you know she saw it? 1627 01:05:47,122 --> 01:05:48,156 Because, nigga, she just liked it. 1628 01:05:49,291 --> 01:05:50,859 Well, that means that she saw it 1629 01:05:50,892 --> 01:05:52,394 and she wants you to know she saw it. 1630 01:05:54,396 --> 01:05:56,164 Oh, shit. 1631 01:05:56,198 --> 01:05:58,066 Okay. It's fine. It's fine. 1632 01:05:58,099 --> 01:05:59,901 Ain't no problem. Ain't no problem. I'll just delete it. 1633 01:05:59,934 --> 01:06:02,137 It never happened. Her eyes are playing tricks on her. 1634 01:06:02,170 --> 01:06:04,172 So now you playing her and you think she's stupid? 1635 01:06:04,206 --> 01:06:06,875 Look, Dre. That's what she's gonna say to you. 1636 01:06:06,908 --> 01:06:08,009 Oh, look, she typin' somethin'. 1637 01:06:08,042 --> 01:06:09,178 On the picture? 1638 01:06:09,211 --> 01:06:10,379 Hilarious. 1639 01:06:11,447 --> 01:06:13,449 "Who is Taylor?" 1640 01:06:13,482 --> 01:06:15,850 Straight to the point. You gotta love her. 1641 01:06:15,884 --> 01:06:17,152 Okay, I gotta... 1642 01:06:17,186 --> 01:06:18,220 Okay, bye! 1643 01:06:19,455 --> 01:06:20,922 - Straight to voicemail. - Oh, shit. 1644 01:06:22,023 --> 01:06:24,859 Let me see. 1645 01:06:24,893 --> 01:06:28,197 All right. "Don't call me. Who is Taylor?" 1646 01:06:28,230 --> 01:06:30,232 Okay. Let's not panic. 1647 01:06:30,266 --> 01:06:31,300 Let's not panic. Take a deep breath. 1648 01:06:31,333 --> 01:06:32,234 Okay, okay. 1649 01:06:32,268 --> 01:06:35,170 You just gotta tell her who Taylor is, okay? 1650 01:06:35,204 --> 01:06:37,273 And Taylor is, uh... She's a stand-up comic. 1651 01:06:37,306 --> 01:06:38,873 You're right! Facts, facts, okay. 1652 01:06:38,907 --> 01:06:40,041 Type that, type that! 1653 01:06:40,074 --> 01:06:41,843 She's a comic. 1654 01:06:44,846 --> 01:06:45,747 What is she saying? 1655 01:06:45,780 --> 01:06:47,115 I don't know but she's saying somethin'. 1656 01:06:47,148 --> 01:06:48,317 The little message bubbles popping up. 1657 01:06:48,350 --> 01:06:49,485 - She's saying somethin'. - I can't stand 1658 01:06:49,518 --> 01:06:50,519 - the message bubbles. - Yeah, me neither. 1659 01:06:50,553 --> 01:06:52,153 I don't want nobody to know when I'm typing shit. 1660 01:06:52,188 --> 01:06:53,322 Invasion of privacy. I don't even like it. 1661 01:06:53,355 --> 01:06:55,056 Yeah. Right? 1662 01:06:55,089 --> 01:06:56,292 Are you... 1663 01:06:56,659 --> 01:06:57,959 Are you... 1664 01:06:57,992 --> 01:06:59,060 "Are you fucking her?" 1665 01:06:59,093 --> 01:07:01,029 Because of me, you can answer that question honestly. 1666 01:07:01,062 --> 01:07:02,096 You're right. 'Cause I didn't. 1667 01:07:02,130 --> 01:07:03,265 You did not. 1668 01:07:03,299 --> 01:07:05,434 - I was good. Chastity belt, nigga! - Come on. 1669 01:07:05,467 --> 01:07:07,135 - Let her know. - Yeah. Okay. 1670 01:07:07,168 --> 01:07:08,204 No. 1671 01:07:11,873 --> 01:07:13,275 "So why she calling you 1672 01:07:13,309 --> 01:07:14,976 "a 'cutie at work' for no reason?" 1673 01:07:15,009 --> 01:07:16,945 Let me get that. 1674 01:07:16,978 --> 01:07:19,147 I don't know who she thinks I am. 1675 01:07:19,181 --> 01:07:20,482 Okay. So you're keeping it vague. 1676 01:07:20,516 --> 01:07:22,050 - Yeah. - That's nice, that's nice. 1677 01:07:23,219 --> 01:07:24,353 "Don't be vague with me." 1678 01:07:24,386 --> 01:07:27,055 Sky's smart as fuck though. 1679 01:07:28,224 --> 01:07:30,091 "What are you really doing out there?" 1680 01:07:30,925 --> 01:07:32,927 Because I'm trying to... 1681 01:07:32,961 --> 01:07:35,096 I'm out here trying to make moves. 1682 01:07:35,129 --> 01:07:36,465 Why can't you believe that? 1683 01:07:39,368 --> 01:07:40,469 She answering? 1684 01:07:42,170 --> 01:07:44,005 Well, nah, not yet. 1685 01:07:45,307 --> 01:07:47,041 But the bubbles are popping up again 1686 01:07:47,075 --> 01:07:49,478 for the messages, so, you know. 1687 01:07:49,511 --> 01:07:51,145 So, just gonna... Come on. 1688 01:07:53,948 --> 01:07:55,284 Mmm? Mmm? 1689 01:07:56,485 --> 01:07:58,487 What the fuck, man? Is she writing a novel? 1690 01:07:58,520 --> 01:07:59,521 What the fuck? I don't know, man. 1691 01:07:59,555 --> 01:08:01,423 But she better hurry up. My phone about to die. 1692 01:08:01,457 --> 01:08:02,458 God damn. 1693 01:08:03,292 --> 01:08:04,493 "If you say so"? 1694 01:08:04,526 --> 01:08:05,827 - And that's it? - Yeah. 1695 01:08:05,860 --> 01:08:07,296 But the message bubbles, they was... 1696 01:08:07,329 --> 01:08:08,830 Man, you know what? Fuck it, man. 1697 01:08:08,863 --> 01:08:10,432 Been blowing me off since I left the house. 1698 01:08:10,466 --> 01:08:12,334 I don't even know if we still together. 1699 01:08:12,368 --> 01:08:14,068 I ain't gonna worry about this. Ha! 1700 01:08:14,102 --> 01:08:15,136 Big dog. 1701 01:08:16,472 --> 01:08:17,905 Ain't gonna run my blood pressure up. 1702 01:08:19,308 --> 01:08:22,544 You know what? Nah, I need to go ahead and see. 1703 01:08:22,578 --> 01:08:24,213 Anticipation is gonna drive me insane! 1704 01:08:24,246 --> 01:08:25,447 I'm just gonna call her. 1705 01:08:25,481 --> 01:08:27,449 Okay? Deep breath. 1706 01:08:32,086 --> 01:08:34,256 Hi, baby. 1707 01:08:34,290 --> 01:08:37,158 So, maybe you should just give me a call, huh? 1708 01:08:37,925 --> 01:08:39,261 Huh, you know how... 1709 01:08:39,295 --> 01:08:40,995 You know how things get lost in translation 1710 01:08:41,029 --> 01:08:42,298 when you sendin' messages. 1711 01:08:42,331 --> 01:08:44,566 My phone's about to die, 1712 01:08:44,600 --> 01:08:47,369 but I'm at the new hotel in West Hollywood... 1713 01:08:48,169 --> 01:08:49,971 uh, room 945. 1714 01:08:50,004 --> 01:08:51,340 Give me a call. 1715 01:08:51,373 --> 01:08:54,042 I love you. Baby. 1716 01:08:55,511 --> 01:08:56,878 Give me the phone. 1717 01:08:56,911 --> 01:08:58,213 The fuck is wrong with you? 1718 01:08:58,247 --> 01:09:00,249 - Since when you start... - Wait. She's typing something. 1719 01:09:00,282 --> 01:09:02,384 Hmm? What's it say? 1720 01:09:04,118 --> 01:09:05,254 "Fuck you." 1721 01:09:06,120 --> 01:09:07,155 Clear as day. 1722 01:09:07,556 --> 01:09:08,624 I told you. 1723 01:09:14,929 --> 01:09:15,997 So, check, I had an audition 1724 01:09:16,030 --> 01:09:17,065 - the other day, right? - Uh-huh. 1725 01:09:17,098 --> 01:09:20,001 I'm no Meryl Streep but people know me. 1726 01:09:20,034 --> 01:09:22,304 The first thing they asked me is how many likes 1727 01:09:22,338 --> 01:09:24,273 do I have on my Instagram. 1728 01:09:24,306 --> 01:09:25,374 They got these Instagram stars. 1729 01:09:25,407 --> 01:09:26,475 They got maybe three minutes... 1730 01:09:26,508 --> 01:09:27,576 Spotify? 1731 01:09:27,609 --> 01:09:29,077 Spotify is music, man. It ain't that. 1732 01:09:29,110 --> 01:09:31,213 Whatever the hell it is, they got it. 1733 01:09:31,246 --> 01:09:32,080 At least know what the damn thing is. 1734 01:09:32,113 --> 01:09:33,081 See, that's why you not in the game. 1735 01:09:33,114 --> 01:09:34,216 You don't even know what it is. 1736 01:09:34,249 --> 01:09:37,252 You know what Instagram used to be? On the street... 1737 01:09:37,286 --> 01:09:39,053 "Hey, I heard that bitch is funny. Go see her." 1738 01:09:39,087 --> 01:09:39,921 That was it. 1739 01:09:39,954 --> 01:09:41,390 And you know what a phone used to be? 1740 01:09:41,423 --> 01:09:42,558 That was somebody who was gonna kill you, 1741 01:09:42,591 --> 01:09:43,925 or a sexual predator. 1742 01:09:43,958 --> 01:09:45,627 That's what I like. 1743 01:09:45,661 --> 01:09:48,530 I can't allow these internet up-and-comers 1744 01:09:48,564 --> 01:09:51,333 to just come in and start regulating. 1745 01:09:51,367 --> 01:09:53,067 I don't understand what they've done. 1746 01:09:53,101 --> 01:09:55,404 If that means I gotta go back on the road, 1747 01:09:55,437 --> 01:09:57,004 then we'll make it on the road. 1748 01:09:57,038 --> 01:09:58,106 That's right. 1749 01:09:58,139 --> 01:09:59,040 I ain't mad at you. 1750 01:09:59,073 --> 01:09:59,941 I stay on the road. I live on the road. 1751 01:09:59,974 --> 01:10:01,410 These kids don't wanna be on the road. 1752 01:10:01,443 --> 01:10:02,511 They wanna get famous. 1753 01:10:02,544 --> 01:10:03,479 Now. 1754 01:10:03,512 --> 01:10:05,280 I don't understand how they're in our lane. 1755 01:10:05,314 --> 01:10:07,081 We're not in their lane. 1756 01:10:07,115 --> 01:10:09,251 - That's all I'm saying. - You don't get it. When we were young, 1757 01:10:09,284 --> 01:10:10,619 they thought we were crazy. 1758 01:10:10,652 --> 01:10:13,121 But, no, that was 1906, when you was young. 1759 01:10:13,154 --> 01:10:14,556 You shut the fuck up. 1760 01:10:14,590 --> 01:10:16,157 You've got to listen these days. 1761 01:10:16,191 --> 01:10:17,593 Young kids can learn from you. 1762 01:10:17,626 --> 01:10:19,026 You can learn from them. 1763 01:10:19,060 --> 01:10:19,994 How you gonna listen? 1764 01:10:20,027 --> 01:10:21,062 The kid that you're having a problem with, 1765 01:10:21,095 --> 01:10:22,297 maybe you should become his friend, be his ally. 1766 01:10:22,331 --> 01:10:26,435 You never know. He might be the next big thing coming up. 1767 01:10:26,468 --> 01:10:28,537 Hey, Marques, you haven't been on the road in about 10 years. 1768 01:10:28,570 --> 01:10:31,172 It's gonna be so epic. First of all, you write your stuff up, 1769 01:10:31,206 --> 01:10:32,474 you go in the clubs, and they go... 1770 01:10:32,508 --> 01:10:34,942 "Ooh! There's a Marques sighting. Ooh!" And they show up. 1771 01:10:34,976 --> 01:10:37,212 And get the little internet kids. Matter of fact, use them. 1772 01:10:37,246 --> 01:10:38,647 Use them to help you go viral. 1773 01:10:38,680 --> 01:10:40,382 That's what I'm telling you! Didn't I say that? 1774 01:10:40,416 --> 01:10:41,350 No, you ain't say it that way. 1775 01:10:41,383 --> 01:10:42,551 I'm doing a better way than what you said. 1776 01:10:42,584 --> 01:10:46,288 Let them make you viral too. Let them make you viral too. 1777 01:10:46,321 --> 01:10:47,689 Them young kids know how to do that shit. 1778 01:10:47,723 --> 01:10:51,326 Y'all used to go together? 'Cause y'all acting like two bitches. 1779 01:10:51,360 --> 01:10:52,661 - Did you call me a bitch? - Yes. 1780 01:10:52,694 --> 01:10:55,230 I can't call you bitch, because calling you bitch is wrong. 1781 01:10:55,264 --> 01:10:56,331 No, call me a bitch. 1782 01:10:56,365 --> 01:10:57,433 If we put this on the internet, 1783 01:10:57,466 --> 01:10:58,600 we could be viral. 1784 01:10:58,634 --> 01:11:01,203 You know what? Where is my chicken wings? God damn it! 1785 01:11:01,236 --> 01:11:02,671 Look, y'all gonna take care of the check? 1786 01:11:02,704 --> 01:11:03,938 - What? - Yes, yes, yes. 1787 01:11:03,971 --> 01:11:05,741 I just turned down 20 million. Y'all know I ain't got it. 1788 01:11:05,774 --> 01:11:07,074 Yes, yes. We got you. 1789 01:11:07,108 --> 01:11:08,210 Hey, Sinbad, where you going? 1790 01:11:08,243 --> 01:11:09,211 To pay the check. 1791 01:11:09,244 --> 01:11:11,647 We've talked to Thomas's parents, 1792 01:11:11,680 --> 01:11:13,047 and they just want an apology 1793 01:11:13,080 --> 01:11:15,082 from Jaylin for his part in all of this. 1794 01:11:15,116 --> 01:11:16,452 Yes, he'll apologize. 1795 01:11:17,519 --> 01:11:18,520 No, I won't. 1796 01:11:19,788 --> 01:11:20,988 Excuse me? 1797 01:11:21,022 --> 01:11:25,126 I'm not sorry I fought him. He was talking mess about dad. 1798 01:11:25,159 --> 01:11:26,528 Saying that he doesn't have money 1799 01:11:26,562 --> 01:11:27,696 and that he's a loser... 1800 01:11:27,729 --> 01:11:29,598 and that he's never gonna give me a piano. 1801 01:11:30,599 --> 01:11:32,534 Jaylin, he might not, sweetie. 1802 01:11:32,568 --> 01:11:34,670 You just don't believe in him. 1803 01:11:34,703 --> 01:11:36,170 You think I don't believe in your father? 1804 01:11:37,372 --> 01:11:39,541 You didn't want him to go to LA. 1805 01:11:39,575 --> 01:11:40,676 You don't know what he's doing out there. 1806 01:11:40,709 --> 01:11:42,478 He's doing what he said he would. 1807 01:11:42,511 --> 01:11:44,279 He's following his dreams. 1808 01:11:45,681 --> 01:11:48,250 Look, I'm sorry. If we could just get back to... 1809 01:11:48,283 --> 01:11:49,785 Of course, hold on. 1810 01:11:49,818 --> 01:11:52,187 Jaylin, do you think I believe in you? 1811 01:11:54,723 --> 01:11:57,992 I do. I believe in the both of you. 1812 01:12:03,632 --> 01:12:05,634 Jaylin's not apologizing. 1813 01:12:05,667 --> 01:12:07,503 And, you know, maybe instead of asking my son 1814 01:12:07,536 --> 01:12:09,471 to apologize for defending his father, 1815 01:12:09,505 --> 01:12:11,038 you should talk to the other kid 1816 01:12:11,072 --> 01:12:13,408 about disrespecting Jaylin's dad. 1817 01:12:13,442 --> 01:12:16,311 When Thomas is ready to apologize to my son, 1818 01:12:16,845 --> 01:12:18,313 you know where we are. 1819 01:12:18,347 --> 01:12:19,381 Come on, baby, let's bounce. 1820 01:12:21,283 --> 01:12:22,384 That was so dope. 1821 01:12:22,417 --> 01:12:23,585 I know, right? 1822 01:12:23,619 --> 01:12:24,786 So, we're just gonna walk out? 1823 01:12:24,820 --> 01:12:27,556 Yes, and then I'm going to see your daddy. 1824 01:12:27,589 --> 01:12:29,358 You want some ice cream? 1825 01:12:32,594 --> 01:12:34,496 Pee-wee Herman just got busted 1826 01:12:34,530 --> 01:12:38,165 for jacking off in a porno theater. 1827 01:12:42,604 --> 01:12:44,506 Didn't you think jacking off 1828 01:12:44,540 --> 01:12:46,508 and porno theater went together 1829 01:12:46,542 --> 01:12:48,477 like a unspoken marriage? 1830 01:12:48,510 --> 01:12:49,778 That's like saying, 1831 01:12:49,811 --> 01:12:52,347 "He ordered fries, and he ate them too." 1832 01:12:52,381 --> 01:12:54,449 "Did he? What a monster." 1833 01:12:54,483 --> 01:12:55,751 You feel something sticky on the floor, 1834 01:12:55,784 --> 01:12:57,286 that's probably not popcorn. 1835 01:12:57,319 --> 01:12:59,254 You should just walk a little faster. 1836 01:13:02,558 --> 01:13:04,626 I was pretty good, wasn't I? 1837 01:13:04,660 --> 01:13:06,428 Marques to go. 1838 01:13:08,664 --> 01:13:10,299 Mr. Black. 1839 01:13:10,332 --> 01:13:13,535 I have a Mr. McDonald here to see you. 1840 01:13:13,569 --> 01:13:15,136 Mr. McDonald? 1841 01:13:15,169 --> 01:13:16,338 Thank you, Alfred. 1842 01:13:16,371 --> 01:13:19,341 - That's Alfred. What's up, man? - You for real? 1843 01:13:19,374 --> 01:13:21,643 Thanks for coming on such short notice. 1844 01:13:21,677 --> 01:13:24,580 Oh, no problem. Is that a golden microphone? 1845 01:13:24,613 --> 01:13:28,317 Sure is. Marques has used it in every one of his shows 1846 01:13:28,350 --> 01:13:31,520 since his first big concert special. 1847 01:13:31,553 --> 01:13:33,188 Marques Black Uncensored. 1848 01:13:33,221 --> 01:13:34,423 Yeah, I might have seen that one. 1849 01:13:34,456 --> 01:13:36,558 You might have seen that? 1850 01:13:36,592 --> 01:13:39,661 Yeah, okay. Everybody's seen it. 1851 01:13:39,695 --> 01:13:40,762 Yeah, everybody. 1852 01:13:40,796 --> 01:13:42,431 I'm gonna leave you two alone. 1853 01:13:42,464 --> 01:13:43,665 I'll be damned. 1854 01:13:43,699 --> 01:13:44,800 Come on, boy. 1855 01:13:45,867 --> 01:13:47,569 Let's go outside. 1856 01:13:47,603 --> 01:13:48,604 Sure. 1857 01:13:51,873 --> 01:13:53,742 Gave that $20 million back. 1858 01:13:53,775 --> 01:13:55,344 What you do that for? 1859 01:13:55,377 --> 01:13:57,245 Well, 'cause you were right. 1860 01:13:57,279 --> 01:13:59,214 I lost sight of myself just focusing 1861 01:13:59,247 --> 01:14:01,283 on making that money. 1862 01:14:01,316 --> 01:14:03,385 Forgot I was being who they wanted me to be, 1863 01:14:03,418 --> 01:14:04,886 instead of who I truly am. 1864 01:14:04,920 --> 01:14:08,457 Well, I'm glad I could teach you something, playboy. 1865 01:14:08,490 --> 01:14:12,461 Yeah, well, I don't mind learning from my mistakes. 1866 01:14:12,494 --> 01:14:14,363 Speaking of mistakes... 1867 01:14:14,396 --> 01:14:16,163 I should've been the bigger person 1868 01:14:16,198 --> 01:14:18,700 in this situation we got here. 1869 01:14:18,734 --> 01:14:21,470 You young, rough around the edges, 1870 01:14:21,503 --> 01:14:23,305 but you're talented. 1871 01:14:23,338 --> 01:14:24,740 And I could've been helping you, 1872 01:14:24,773 --> 01:14:26,942 instead of trying to destroy you. 1873 01:14:26,975 --> 01:14:28,110 Listen, man, no offense. Thanks. 1874 01:14:28,142 --> 01:14:30,545 But, listen, I'm not your little project, all right? 1875 01:14:30,579 --> 01:14:33,782 I'll get to where I need to be on my own. 1876 01:14:33,815 --> 01:14:35,784 Yeah, well, see, when I was breaking in 1877 01:14:35,817 --> 01:14:37,452 we had to learn from the greats. 1878 01:14:37,486 --> 01:14:39,187 I had to learn from Redd Foxx. 1879 01:14:39,221 --> 01:14:40,822 I had to learn from Richard Pryor. 1880 01:14:40,856 --> 01:14:42,591 I was out there fetching Eddie Murphy's coffee. 1881 01:14:42,624 --> 01:14:44,292 Well, look, it's a new day. 1882 01:14:44,326 --> 01:14:45,694 It's a new time, it's a new era. 1883 01:14:45,727 --> 01:14:48,296 Ain't nobody gonna be shining your damn shoes. 1884 01:14:48,330 --> 01:14:50,365 I get all the views I need to get 1885 01:14:50,399 --> 01:14:52,234 on this thing right here. 1886 01:14:52,267 --> 01:14:56,405 So you don't need us 'cause you got followers? 1887 01:14:56,438 --> 01:14:57,572 Exactly. 1888 01:14:59,408 --> 01:15:00,776 Look, you gotta look to your past 1889 01:15:00,809 --> 01:15:02,611 to understand your future, young blood. 1890 01:15:02,644 --> 01:15:06,481 I am the future, old man. 1891 01:15:12,521 --> 01:15:16,558 You're scared. That's what it is. 1892 01:15:16,591 --> 01:15:19,695 Finally. I couldn't figure out what was really going on, 1893 01:15:19,728 --> 01:15:23,498 but that's what's behind the arrogance, 1894 01:15:23,532 --> 01:15:25,934 and the angry rants about me. 1895 01:15:25,967 --> 01:15:27,636 This is all some 1896 01:15:27,669 --> 01:15:29,971 "fight the biggest dude on the yard... 1897 01:15:30,005 --> 01:15:33,408 "so everybody doesn't see how scared I am." 1898 01:15:33,442 --> 01:15:36,778 Listen, man, I definitely ain't scared. 1899 01:15:41,917 --> 01:15:45,387 I know fear, and it's all in your eyes. 1900 01:15:46,588 --> 01:15:47,556 Yeah. 1901 01:15:47,589 --> 01:15:50,559 And what you're really scared of is failure. 1902 01:15:50,592 --> 01:15:52,360 'Cause you convinced everybody 1903 01:15:52,394 --> 01:15:54,463 around you to believe in you, 1904 01:15:54,496 --> 01:15:57,432 and you don't believe in yourself. 1905 01:15:57,466 --> 01:15:58,700 You know what? We'll see who's scared, 1906 01:15:58,734 --> 01:16:00,368 when I win that showcase tonight. 1907 01:16:01,336 --> 01:16:02,704 We'll see who's scared then. 1908 01:16:05,373 --> 01:16:07,642 If you was who you saying you were, 1909 01:16:07,676 --> 01:16:10,278 you wouldn't give a fuck about a showcase. 1910 01:16:15,984 --> 01:16:17,953 But, uh... 1911 01:16:17,986 --> 01:16:20,455 But don't be late for your little showcase, playboy. 1912 01:16:20,489 --> 01:16:21,990 Good luck out there. 1913 01:16:55,423 --> 01:16:57,692 All right, Dre. I'm leaving you another message, dawg. 1914 01:16:57,726 --> 01:17:00,662 How the fuck are you gonna be late to your own showcase? 1915 01:17:00,695 --> 01:17:03,331 You got to get here, man, before you fuck up my whole plan. 1916 01:17:03,365 --> 01:17:04,866 No management company, no Sarah Silverman, 1917 01:17:04,900 --> 01:17:06,334 no nothing, dawg. 1918 01:17:06,368 --> 01:17:08,770 Come on, man, this is very black of you. 1919 01:17:08,804 --> 01:17:10,739 Where the fuck have you been? 1920 01:17:10,772 --> 01:17:11,973 I don't even know. 1921 01:17:12,007 --> 01:17:13,575 I don't even know how to explain it. 1922 01:17:13,608 --> 01:17:14,876 Dre, are you high? 1923 01:17:14,910 --> 01:17:16,711 - Huh? - You look high. Are you high? 1924 01:17:16,745 --> 01:17:17,913 No, I don't think so. 1925 01:17:17,946 --> 01:17:20,949 Oh, my fucking God, dawg. Come on, man. Get it together. 1926 01:17:20,982 --> 01:17:23,051 McDonald, you're up. 1927 01:17:23,084 --> 01:17:24,853 - Okay. - All right, this is it, baby. 1928 01:17:24,886 --> 01:17:27,722 Look, I'm live-streaming this whole round. 1929 01:17:27,756 --> 01:17:29,124 Been promoting it all day. 1930 01:17:29,157 --> 01:17:31,059 Everybody is gonna be watching, so you know what you've got to do. 1931 01:17:31,092 --> 01:17:32,694 - Yeah. Yeah. - Huh? 1932 01:17:32,727 --> 01:17:34,429 Boom! Kill it! 1933 01:17:34,462 --> 01:17:35,597 Let's do this. 1934 01:17:35,630 --> 01:17:36,731 Let's go, let's go. I'm ready. 1935 01:17:36,765 --> 01:17:38,099 - Do your thing, baby. - Yes, sir. 1936 01:17:38,133 --> 01:17:39,401 Yeah, yeah. 1937 01:17:39,434 --> 01:17:40,468 What's up, Dre? 1938 01:17:40,502 --> 01:17:41,670 - What up, bruh? - You all right? 1939 01:17:41,703 --> 01:17:43,438 - Yeah, yeah, I'm good. - Do your shit, bruh. 1940 01:17:43,471 --> 01:17:45,073 Fo' sho. Fo' sho. 1941 01:17:59,688 --> 01:18:01,756 It's my time, motherfucker. 1942 01:18:01,790 --> 01:18:03,124 Let's go. 1943 01:18:06,928 --> 01:18:08,630 Glad I'm not in this competition. 1944 01:18:08,663 --> 01:18:10,765 I'd be back there scared. 1945 01:18:10,799 --> 01:18:12,567 Y'all ready for another comedian? 1946 01:18:12,601 --> 01:18:14,603 Well, let's bring him up. 1947 01:18:14,636 --> 01:18:17,839 Put your hands together for Deandre. 1948 01:18:28,783 --> 01:18:30,485 Oh, man. 1949 01:18:30,518 --> 01:18:34,055 What a day. What a day. What a day. What a day. 1950 01:18:34,389 --> 01:18:36,691 Um... 1951 01:18:36,725 --> 01:18:39,494 Uh... 1952 01:18:39,527 --> 01:18:44,432 I just came from Marques Black's house. 1953 01:18:44,466 --> 01:18:48,436 Did I say house? I meant to say palatial estate. 1954 01:18:49,571 --> 01:18:51,973 Marques Black's house is so big 1955 01:18:52,007 --> 01:18:54,910 this motherfucker has slaves. 1956 01:18:54,943 --> 01:18:57,846 Like, I seen three niggas picking cotton. 1957 01:18:57,879 --> 01:19:01,983 Like, what the fuck is this? Where is Quentin Tarantino? 1958 01:19:02,017 --> 01:19:06,087 Is this fucking Django? What is happening? 1959 01:19:06,121 --> 01:19:08,556 I'm saying, look... And this is not even the set 1960 01:19:08,590 --> 01:19:10,525 that I was normally gonna do, all right? 1961 01:19:10,558 --> 01:19:13,028 I mean, usually I would've worked this shit out in my journal, 1962 01:19:13,061 --> 01:19:17,233 but I just came from Marques fucking Black's house 1963 01:19:17,266 --> 01:19:19,668 and honest to God, I'm still trying to process this shit. 1964 01:19:19,701 --> 01:19:21,469 So if I could work it out with y'all, 1965 01:19:21,503 --> 01:19:22,971 I would love to. Is that cool? 1966 01:19:23,004 --> 01:19:25,106 All right. 1967 01:19:25,140 --> 01:19:26,641 Hey, I'm sorry. 1968 01:19:26,675 --> 01:19:28,076 Hey, can I go talk to him for a second 1969 01:19:28,109 --> 01:19:29,678 and find out what's going on? 1970 01:19:29,711 --> 01:19:32,248 Sorry. The clock's already started. 1971 01:19:32,281 --> 01:19:34,950 Me and Marques Black got this internet beef going, man. 1972 01:19:34,983 --> 01:19:36,985 And I done talked shit about him. 1973 01:19:37,018 --> 01:19:40,822 I talked about his movies. I talked about his height. 1974 01:19:40,855 --> 01:19:42,991 I done talked about everything, man. 1975 01:19:43,024 --> 01:19:45,126 And you know what, man? Marques Black, even though, 1976 01:19:45,160 --> 01:19:47,629 even though his movies are trash as fuck... 1977 01:19:47,662 --> 01:19:50,098 uh, he's cool as hell. 1978 01:19:50,131 --> 01:19:52,600 Got a cool house, with cool shit. 1979 01:19:52,634 --> 01:19:55,737 He's got a solid gold microphone in a case. 1980 01:19:55,770 --> 01:20:00,242 A solid gold microphone? The fuck? 1981 01:20:00,276 --> 01:20:04,112 Like, yo, God don't even use a solid gold microphone. 1982 01:20:04,145 --> 01:20:07,015 God's microphone he uses to talk to us is gold-plated. 1983 01:20:07,048 --> 01:20:09,851 He got a solid gold microphone. 1984 01:20:09,884 --> 01:20:11,220 What the hell, man? 1985 01:20:11,253 --> 01:20:13,989 So he's talking to me about being great, right? 1986 01:20:14,022 --> 01:20:17,726 And he tells me that I'm scared of failure. 1987 01:20:17,759 --> 01:20:21,129 And I was like, "Wow! Scared of failure." 1988 01:20:21,162 --> 01:20:23,531 Who says that to somebody? 1989 01:20:23,565 --> 01:20:25,066 I wanted to be like... 1990 01:20:25,100 --> 01:20:28,770 "Nigga, how did you know I was scared of failure?" 1991 01:20:28,803 --> 01:20:30,939 Nah, but you know I ain't say that. I ain't say that. 1992 01:20:30,972 --> 01:20:32,241 You know, 'cause I'm tough. I'm a man. 1993 01:20:32,274 --> 01:20:33,641 Had to put on that tougher side. 1994 01:20:33,675 --> 01:20:36,278 So, I was like, "Man, what the hell are you talking about? 1995 01:20:36,312 --> 01:20:38,013 "Ain't nobody fucking scared. 1996 01:20:38,046 --> 01:20:40,115 "I ain't scared. What? What? 1997 01:20:41,716 --> 01:20:43,252 "Let me tell you something, bruh. 1998 01:20:43,285 --> 01:20:44,320 "Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something, little buster. 1999 01:20:44,353 --> 01:20:46,322 "Let me tell you something, little buster." 2000 01:20:46,355 --> 01:20:47,722 He said I don't believe in myself. 2001 01:20:47,756 --> 01:20:49,057 I wanted to look at him and be like, 2002 01:20:49,090 --> 01:20:50,925 "Who keeps telling you all these secrets? 2003 01:20:50,959 --> 01:20:52,694 "Are you a spirit whisperer? 2004 01:20:52,727 --> 01:20:54,330 "How do you know this shit?" 2005 01:20:54,363 --> 01:20:55,864 And nobody ever tells you 2006 01:20:55,897 --> 01:20:57,333 when you go to Marques Black's house 2007 01:20:57,366 --> 01:20:59,667 that he gonna give you a divine intervention, right? 2008 01:20:59,701 --> 01:21:00,769 Look, they need to tell you that 2009 01:21:00,802 --> 01:21:03,138 before you drop your keys off to his valet. 2010 01:21:03,171 --> 01:21:06,641 At his house, 'cause he got a valet at his fucking house. 2011 01:21:06,674 --> 01:21:08,843 And the valet be looking at you, talking about some... 2012 01:21:08,877 --> 01:21:10,779 "Hey, hey, hey, hey!" 2013 01:21:10,812 --> 01:21:12,614 This old-ass nigga about 200 years old. 2014 01:21:12,647 --> 01:21:15,750 "Hey, be careful. That nigga know your heart." 2015 01:21:15,784 --> 01:21:18,119 Like, huh, what the fuck? 2016 01:21:18,153 --> 01:21:19,821 He knows my heart. Is he Jesus or something? 2017 01:21:19,854 --> 01:21:21,323 What's happening? 2018 01:21:21,357 --> 01:21:23,058 Look, man. My girl, man... 2019 01:21:23,091 --> 01:21:25,126 My girl is the fucking best, man. 2020 01:21:25,160 --> 01:21:26,928 I can understand why she's frustrated. 2021 01:21:26,961 --> 01:21:28,696 You know, 'cause I'm out here talking about 2022 01:21:28,730 --> 01:21:30,165 I'm chasing my dreams. 2023 01:21:30,199 --> 01:21:32,368 I ain't chasing shit. 2024 01:21:32,401 --> 01:21:34,836 Really. I'm just doing free internet videos 2025 01:21:34,869 --> 01:21:38,039 and beefing with celebrities for free. 2026 01:21:38,073 --> 01:21:40,008 Meanwhile, she got a check. 2027 01:21:40,041 --> 01:21:41,343 And she taking care of the house, 2028 01:21:41,377 --> 01:21:42,777 taking care of our kid, 2029 01:21:42,811 --> 01:21:44,313 trying to further better herself. 2030 01:21:44,346 --> 01:21:47,148 You know what I'm saying? Just being an adult. 2031 01:21:47,183 --> 01:21:50,085 And I'm just out here doing stupid shit, man. 2032 01:21:50,118 --> 01:21:54,323 Our relationship is synonymous to Jay-Z and Beyonce. 2033 01:21:54,356 --> 01:21:57,025 If Beyonce would've married DMX. 2034 01:21:58,260 --> 01:21:59,528 You know what I'm saying? 2035 01:21:59,562 --> 01:22:02,964 I'm like, "Hey, yo! Hey, yo! Hey, baby! 2036 01:22:02,997 --> 01:22:04,233 "Hello! 2037 01:22:05,767 --> 01:22:07,168 "Baby, baby, can I get some money? 2038 01:22:07,203 --> 01:22:08,803 "Can I get some allowance money 2039 01:22:08,837 --> 01:22:10,171 "so I can do my few dumb videos? 2040 01:22:10,206 --> 01:22:12,841 "I mean, even though it's free and it's coming out of you, 2041 01:22:12,874 --> 01:22:14,809 "please help out me, boo." 2042 01:22:17,346 --> 01:22:18,746 I love her. 2043 01:22:20,081 --> 01:22:23,685 We expect a woman to accept us for all our bullshit. 2044 01:22:23,718 --> 01:22:25,887 I mean, so much bullshit, too. 2045 01:22:25,920 --> 01:22:30,725 We talking about... We talking about joblessness, womanizing, poverty. 2046 01:22:30,758 --> 01:22:32,794 Meanwhile, as soon as she does that, what we do? 2047 01:22:32,827 --> 01:22:35,830 Leave her for a chick with a fatter ass. 2048 01:22:35,864 --> 01:22:38,367 And it don't even got to be really much that fatter. 2049 01:22:38,400 --> 01:22:42,003 It's just the margin of one percent of a fatter ass. 2050 01:22:42,036 --> 01:22:43,372 That shit could change an election. 2051 01:22:43,405 --> 01:22:44,873 You know what I'm saying? 2052 01:22:44,906 --> 01:22:46,442 Just that one fucking percent. 2053 01:22:46,475 --> 01:22:48,377 I'll be sitting with my girl sometimes and I'll be like, 2054 01:22:48,410 --> 01:22:50,145 "What the fuck are you doing here? 2055 01:22:50,179 --> 01:22:52,113 "You can do way better than me. 2056 01:22:52,147 --> 01:22:53,249 "Do you believe in yourself? 2057 01:22:53,282 --> 01:22:56,352 "I believe you can get in a better relationship. 2058 01:22:56,385 --> 01:22:57,919 "Maybe we need to talk to Marques Black 2059 01:22:57,952 --> 01:22:59,087 "to have an intervention 2060 01:22:59,120 --> 01:23:00,422 "cause I don't know what the fuck 2061 01:23:00,456 --> 01:23:02,790 "you are doing here with me right now." 2062 01:23:02,824 --> 01:23:05,194 But you know what, folks? It's not supposed to be easy. 2063 01:23:05,227 --> 01:23:07,196 'Cause if it's easy, it's not worth it. 2064 01:23:07,229 --> 01:23:10,131 You feel me? That's why I'm so hard on my girl. 2065 01:23:10,165 --> 01:23:12,234 'Cause I'm worth it. You know what I'm saying? 2066 01:23:12,268 --> 01:23:14,035 Nah, I'm just fucking with y'all. 2067 01:23:14,068 --> 01:23:18,440 Baby, please go out there and find your damn Jay-Z. 2068 01:23:18,474 --> 01:23:21,876 Because DMX still got some soul-searching to do. 2069 01:23:21,910 --> 01:23:23,711 You know what I mean, nigga? 2070 01:23:23,745 --> 01:23:24,946 Thank you so much. 2071 01:23:24,979 --> 01:23:27,115 I'm Deandre McDonald. That's my time. 2072 01:23:27,148 --> 01:23:29,451 Thank y'all so much. Appreciate it. 2073 01:23:29,485 --> 01:23:31,187 Thank you, man. 2074 01:23:39,961 --> 01:23:41,230 - Dre! Dre! - Yo! 2075 01:23:41,263 --> 01:23:42,298 The fuck was that, man? 2076 01:23:42,331 --> 01:23:43,765 I had some shit I had to get off my chest, man. 2077 01:23:43,798 --> 01:23:44,999 That shit was lit, baby. 2078 01:23:45,033 --> 01:23:46,202 Yeah, I'll call my baby up. 2079 01:23:46,235 --> 01:23:47,436 - Come on, go ahead, go ahead. - Cool, cool. 2080 01:23:47,469 --> 01:23:48,736 I'll record it. 2081 01:23:50,972 --> 01:23:52,774 Okay, bye. 2082 01:23:52,807 --> 01:23:56,010 Baby, hit me back. Baby, I did it. 2083 01:23:56,044 --> 01:23:57,179 I killed it. I got a standing O 2084 01:23:57,213 --> 01:23:58,480 talkin' about my shit. 2085 01:23:58,514 --> 01:24:01,383 I can't believe it. I fucking did it! 2086 01:24:01,417 --> 01:24:03,918 Okay, hit me back. Soon as you can. 2087 01:24:03,952 --> 01:24:05,987 All right? I love you. All right. 2088 01:24:07,088 --> 01:24:08,790 - Bruh... - Dawg... 2089 01:24:08,823 --> 01:24:10,892 - What? What? What? - Did you hear 'em? 2090 01:24:10,925 --> 01:24:12,494 Come on, man, let's go. 2091 01:24:18,833 --> 01:24:21,370 All right, all right, all right. 2092 01:24:21,403 --> 01:24:24,072 Look, when I call your name, please step forward. 2093 01:24:25,106 --> 01:24:26,874 DeJuan Bickerstaff. 2094 01:24:26,908 --> 01:24:28,377 That's what I told ya! 2095 01:24:34,148 --> 01:24:35,783 Montana Prestley. 2096 01:24:43,259 --> 01:24:44,360 LaMont Keish. 2097 01:24:50,199 --> 01:24:51,933 And last but not least... 2098 01:24:57,406 --> 01:25:00,074 Paul Wilds! 2099 01:25:09,218 --> 01:25:11,019 Hey, excuse me? Excuse me? Judge? 2100 01:25:11,052 --> 01:25:12,153 He should be in the next round, man. 2101 01:25:12,187 --> 01:25:13,355 You heard the crowd. They love him. 2102 01:25:13,389 --> 01:25:16,090 Yeah, he was hilarious, and we did too. 2103 01:25:16,124 --> 01:25:17,025 But apparently he took money 2104 01:25:17,058 --> 01:25:20,229 while he was performing in the showcase. 2105 01:25:20,262 --> 01:25:23,931 Taylor Jones. Look, man, I didn't get money for her showcase, all right? 2106 01:25:23,965 --> 01:25:25,601 She just gave us money for food. 2107 01:25:25,634 --> 01:25:27,001 Well, if there's a misunderstanding, 2108 01:25:27,035 --> 01:25:28,136 you should take it up with her. 2109 01:25:28,169 --> 01:25:30,838 Round three starts in, uh, two hours. 2110 01:25:34,876 --> 01:25:36,245 What the fuck? 2111 01:25:36,278 --> 01:25:38,213 - To us. - Wait. 2112 01:25:38,247 --> 01:25:40,582 Why is Taylor talking to Marques' manager, 2113 01:25:40,616 --> 01:25:42,318 your mortal enemy? 2114 01:25:42,351 --> 01:25:43,519 So we're working together? 2115 01:25:43,552 --> 01:25:44,653 Something ain't right about this. 2116 01:25:44,687 --> 01:25:46,921 I think I know what exactly isn't right about this. 2117 01:25:46,954 --> 01:25:49,291 You do? Like, you figured it out already? 2118 01:25:49,325 --> 01:25:50,592 God damn! You quick, bruh. 2119 01:25:50,626 --> 01:25:53,262 A show coming up. That's right. Oh. 2120 01:25:53,295 --> 01:25:54,929 Taylor. 2121 01:25:54,962 --> 01:25:56,097 Whoa-ho-ho! 2122 01:25:56,130 --> 01:26:00,336 It is the internet kid, everyone. 2123 01:26:00,369 --> 01:26:02,571 You and Marques set me up. 2124 01:26:02,604 --> 01:26:05,139 How'd you do? Did you win that little contest? 2125 01:26:05,173 --> 01:26:07,509 No, I didn't win, 'cause she played me. 2126 01:26:07,543 --> 01:26:10,078 Look, it wasn't personal, all right? 2127 01:26:10,111 --> 01:26:13,147 He offered me representation if I helped him. 2128 01:26:13,182 --> 01:26:14,283 You know what, Taylor? 2129 01:26:14,316 --> 01:26:17,219 You know damn well I didn't get paid to be in your show. 2130 01:26:17,252 --> 01:26:20,121 Oh. Was that how she pulled it off? 2131 01:26:20,154 --> 01:26:22,291 I never got the details. 2132 01:26:22,990 --> 01:26:25,327 But I like it. 2133 01:26:25,361 --> 01:26:27,995 Turn the car around, please. 2134 01:26:28,029 --> 01:26:29,298 Look, I'm sorry, Dre. 2135 01:26:29,331 --> 01:26:30,965 He's gonna help me break in. 2136 01:26:30,998 --> 01:26:32,668 Right, Nico? 2137 01:26:32,701 --> 01:26:36,338 Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah. I'll put in some calls, 2138 01:26:37,339 --> 01:26:39,408 but, uh, I can't promise nothing. 2139 01:26:39,441 --> 01:26:41,008 But you said that you... 2140 01:26:41,042 --> 01:26:44,546 Hold on. Yo, what's good? Hold on for a minute. 2141 01:26:45,447 --> 01:26:47,416 Hey, uh, McDonald. Uh... 2142 01:26:47,783 --> 01:26:49,518 It's over. 2143 01:26:49,551 --> 01:26:51,953 Have a safe, safe flight back home. 2144 01:26:51,986 --> 01:26:55,257 And next time you're out here, 2145 01:26:55,290 --> 01:26:57,693 be careful who you fuck with. 2146 01:26:57,726 --> 01:27:00,128 You know what? I'm tripping. 2147 01:27:00,161 --> 01:27:01,963 There probably won't be a next time. 2148 01:27:03,565 --> 01:27:05,467 And, um, take her with you. 2149 01:27:06,301 --> 01:27:07,536 Yeah? 2150 01:27:11,440 --> 01:27:13,007 Hope it was worth it. 2151 01:27:18,112 --> 01:27:20,249 And we keeping the $20. 2152 01:27:25,119 --> 01:27:27,256 Live-streaming that show killed my battery. 2153 01:27:27,289 --> 01:27:28,557 Dre, I gotta crick in my neck 2154 01:27:28,590 --> 01:27:30,325 from sleeping in a fucking minivan. 2155 01:27:30,359 --> 01:27:33,195 I got it, I got it. 2156 01:27:33,228 --> 01:27:35,531 - Go, go, go. - God damn! 2157 01:27:38,099 --> 01:27:39,100 Wait. 2158 01:27:40,502 --> 01:27:41,703 Baby... 2159 01:27:41,737 --> 01:27:43,505 Oh! Mmm. 2160 01:27:43,539 --> 01:27:44,706 Mmm. 2161 01:27:46,241 --> 01:27:47,443 Mmm. 2162 01:27:47,476 --> 01:27:49,378 Damn, baby... 2163 01:27:49,411 --> 01:27:51,246 Wait a minute now. What's up with this? 2164 01:27:51,280 --> 01:27:53,449 What you doing here, baby? Where's Jaylin? 2165 01:27:53,482 --> 01:27:54,383 With my mom. 2166 01:27:54,416 --> 01:27:56,485 Baby, I saw the show. You were amazing. 2167 01:27:56,518 --> 01:27:58,554 So funny and honest. 2168 01:27:58,587 --> 01:27:59,621 Stop. 2169 01:27:59,655 --> 01:28:02,191 It's not just about me, and it should never be. 2170 01:28:02,224 --> 01:28:04,426 Baby, I've been so caught up 2171 01:28:04,460 --> 01:28:07,696 on what I want that I ain't even consider what you need. 2172 01:28:07,729 --> 01:28:09,498 Well, I've been so in my feelings, 2173 01:28:09,531 --> 01:28:12,201 it's been hard for me to have faith in your vision. 2174 01:28:12,234 --> 01:28:15,370 But I do. Baby, you are so talented. 2175 01:28:15,404 --> 01:28:18,005 You're doing exactly what you should be. 2176 01:28:18,039 --> 01:28:20,576 Well, I'm done with all that. 2177 01:28:20,609 --> 01:28:22,411 I ain't cut out for this. 2178 01:28:22,444 --> 01:28:24,078 No, I know you're not giving up. 2179 01:28:24,111 --> 01:28:25,681 Not after everything we done been through. 2180 01:28:25,714 --> 01:28:28,717 Boy, the Dre I know would never quit. 2181 01:28:28,750 --> 01:28:30,352 Not the Dre I know. 2182 01:28:30,385 --> 01:28:32,187 He quit tee-ball, junior varsity basketball. 2183 01:28:32,221 --> 01:28:34,055 Veganism. That lasted a day. 2184 01:28:34,088 --> 01:28:35,089 Mind your business! 2185 01:28:35,457 --> 01:28:36,558 Yep. 2186 01:28:36,592 --> 01:28:37,793 I got disqualified from the showcase. 2187 01:28:37,826 --> 01:28:39,160 What am I supposed to do? 2188 01:28:39,194 --> 01:28:42,397 Figure it out. You always do. 2189 01:28:42,431 --> 01:28:46,435 Hell, as long as you get back at that shady-ass Nico. 2190 01:28:46,468 --> 01:28:48,804 Wait, how'd you know Nico was shady? 2191 01:28:48,837 --> 01:28:51,105 - It was on the livestream. - It was? 2192 01:28:51,138 --> 01:28:53,509 Yes, and all that stuff about Taylor. 2193 01:28:53,542 --> 01:28:56,411 Matter of fact, fuck that bitch for trying to sabotage you. 2194 01:28:56,445 --> 01:28:57,479 Wait, wait, wait. 2195 01:28:57,513 --> 01:28:59,146 She ain't even cute, to be honest. 2196 01:28:59,181 --> 01:29:01,283 Whoa, the whole Nico conversation was on livestream? 2197 01:29:01,316 --> 01:29:03,552 Mmm-hmm. Now, stop saying his name, 'cause he's dead to me. 2198 01:29:03,585 --> 01:29:07,121 That's the proof I need to show that I was set up. 2199 01:29:07,154 --> 01:29:09,224 Eddie, you recorded that livestream, right? 2200 01:29:09,258 --> 01:29:10,459 What am I, a amateur live-streamer? 2201 01:29:10,492 --> 01:29:11,760 Yeah, I recorded that shit. 2202 01:29:11,793 --> 01:29:13,328 If I can get that footage to the judges, 2203 01:29:13,362 --> 01:29:15,096 they gotta let me back in the showcase. 2204 01:29:15,129 --> 01:29:16,798 We only got, like, an hour before the final round starts. 2205 01:29:16,832 --> 01:29:18,233 Not without us. 2206 01:29:18,267 --> 01:29:19,368 Look at us, out in these streets. 2207 01:29:19,401 --> 01:29:20,536 Let's go! 2208 01:29:20,569 --> 01:29:22,804 Yo, hey, wait, look at us. Huh? 2209 01:29:22,838 --> 01:29:25,240 We running around Hollywood and shit. 2210 01:29:25,274 --> 01:29:26,642 Just want y'all to know I love y'all. 2211 01:29:26,675 --> 01:29:28,577 What you want? A Drake compilation album 2212 01:29:28,610 --> 01:29:30,279 to go with that damn speech of yours? 2213 01:29:30,312 --> 01:29:31,580 It got real sugary up in here. 2214 01:29:31,613 --> 01:29:32,748 Right, right. 2215 01:29:32,781 --> 01:29:35,149 Baby, baby. Baby, look. 2216 01:29:35,183 --> 01:29:36,251 I've been a idiot, 2217 01:29:36,285 --> 01:29:37,686 but you're the only one for me. 2218 01:29:37,719 --> 01:29:39,288 Oh, baby, I know. 2219 01:29:39,321 --> 01:29:40,756 I'm fine as hell. 2220 01:29:40,789 --> 01:29:42,591 You are. You gonna get it when we get back. 2221 01:29:42,624 --> 01:29:44,293 After you win the showcase. 2222 01:29:44,326 --> 01:29:46,228 Damn right. Let's go. 2223 01:29:46,261 --> 01:29:49,264 Welcome to the final round of the LOL Comedy Showcase. 2224 01:29:49,298 --> 01:29:52,234 Now, one of these comedians are going on a 30-city tour. 2225 01:29:52,267 --> 01:29:53,869 That's right. A 30-city tour. 2226 01:29:53,902 --> 01:29:55,504 Now, without any further ado... 2227 01:29:55,537 --> 01:29:56,705 Damn, man. They already started. 2228 01:29:56,738 --> 01:29:58,607 No, no, no. You know what? I got this. 2229 01:29:58,640 --> 01:30:00,375 Everybody, get down! 2230 01:30:00,409 --> 01:30:02,244 Oh, my God! He got a gun! Take my money! 2231 01:30:02,277 --> 01:30:03,178 What they doing? 2232 01:30:03,211 --> 01:30:04,613 You can't say "get down" in LA, dumbass. 2233 01:30:04,646 --> 01:30:05,714 Why not? 2234 01:30:05,747 --> 01:30:06,782 Because they'll think you got a gun. 2235 01:30:06,815 --> 01:30:07,816 Why would I have a gun? 2236 01:30:07,849 --> 01:30:10,686 I was trying to tell the comedians to get down 2237 01:30:10,719 --> 01:30:12,854 'cause I want my boy, Deandre, to get on the stage. 2238 01:30:12,888 --> 01:30:14,456 You know damn well 2239 01:30:14,489 --> 01:30:15,857 I didn't get paid to be in your show. 2240 01:30:15,891 --> 01:30:17,192 Wait a second! Don't boo! 2241 01:30:17,225 --> 01:30:18,393 You need to show him the video of Nico. 2242 01:30:18,427 --> 01:30:19,528 What if they don't believe me? 2243 01:30:19,561 --> 01:30:20,796 Oh, shit! 2244 01:30:20,829 --> 01:30:22,831 Who's that? 2245 01:30:31,373 --> 01:30:32,507 You look good, baby! 2246 01:30:33,508 --> 01:30:35,310 You the man, Marques! 2247 01:30:35,344 --> 01:30:37,144 Thank you, everybody. I appreciate it. 2248 01:30:37,179 --> 01:30:39,146 I appreciate it. I do. 2249 01:30:39,181 --> 01:30:42,284 Uh, this is an interruption, and I'm sorry for that. 2250 01:30:42,317 --> 01:30:44,486 But somebody was disqualified earlier 2251 01:30:44,519 --> 01:30:46,388 and they should not have been. 2252 01:30:46,421 --> 01:30:48,724 And so I came to make this right. 2253 01:30:48,757 --> 01:30:50,726 It's my pleasure to introduce a guy 2254 01:30:50,759 --> 01:30:52,327 who is not just a friend, 2255 01:30:52,361 --> 01:30:53,795 but may one day be my successor, 2256 01:30:53,829 --> 01:30:55,263 if he doesn't fuck this up. 2257 01:30:55,297 --> 01:30:58,567 Please give it up for Deandre McDonald, ladies and gentlemen. 2258 01:30:59,835 --> 01:31:01,637 You got this, baby. 2259 01:31:08,777 --> 01:31:10,412 Go, Dre! 2260 01:31:13,415 --> 01:31:15,183 I don't know what to say. 2261 01:31:15,651 --> 01:31:17,185 Just be great. 2262 01:31:20,355 --> 01:31:21,490 Let's go. 2263 01:31:27,496 --> 01:31:28,630 Well... 2264 01:31:30,832 --> 01:31:34,336 I got a golden microphone, bitch! 2265 01:31:42,511 --> 01:31:43,712 Then all the kids started bragging about 2266 01:31:43,745 --> 01:31:44,913 who's coming to see them at the recital. 2267 01:31:44,946 --> 01:31:46,014 Oh, yeah? 2268 01:31:46,048 --> 01:31:50,185 Yeah. Mom, do you think Dad will be home by then? 2269 01:31:52,387 --> 01:31:53,555 It's a tough one, baby. 2270 01:31:53,588 --> 01:31:55,791 He's got a lot of days left on his tour. 2271 01:31:56,825 --> 01:31:58,427 Are you hungry? 2272 01:31:58,460 --> 01:32:01,263 I can make you something. Your favorite. 2273 01:32:01,296 --> 01:32:02,464 Mmm. Okay. 2274 01:32:06,368 --> 01:32:07,536 Come on. 2275 01:32:10,338 --> 01:32:11,907 Dre? 2276 01:32:11,940 --> 01:32:13,775 - For real? - Dad? 2277 01:32:20,782 --> 01:32:22,651 - You got me a piano? - Yeah! 2278 01:32:22,684 --> 01:32:25,387 That's you and that's yours. I bought that. 2279 01:32:25,420 --> 01:32:26,588 Love you, Jaylin. 2280 01:32:26,621 --> 01:32:28,023 Love you too, Dad. 2281 01:32:28,056 --> 01:32:29,391 Yeah! 2282 01:32:29,424 --> 01:32:30,459 Baby... 2283 01:32:34,996 --> 01:32:36,398 Uh-huh. 2284 01:32:39,568 --> 01:32:41,536 You don't know how to do nothing like that. 2285 01:32:41,736 --> 01:32:48,736 Subtitle By: MARSH-MARIE