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♪ Dirty Mouth by Alice Phoebe Lou ♪

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♪ I want nothing ♪

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♪ I want it all now ♪

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♪ I've got a dirty mouth ♪

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♪ I'm gonna wash it out ♪

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♪ I've got baggage ♪

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♪ It's got big wheels ♪

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♪ I got a little dog ♪

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♪ Biting at my heels ♪

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‐ It's like calm down.

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♪ Not gonna make your dreams come true ♪

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♪ Don't touch me ♪

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♪ Don't even look at me ♪

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Q: Is she going into Celeste's office?

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♪ I've got laser beams ♪

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♪ Coming out my eyes ♪

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♪ Do you still really ♪

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♪ Wanna mess with me? ♪

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‐ Don't look at me like that.
I need to do this.

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♪ Mess with me? ♪

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[typing]

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[ring tone]

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DELPHINE [on phone]:
This is Delphine Young.

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‐ Hi! [nervous laugh]
Hello. You answered.

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‐ Yeah, that's how
the phone works. Who is this?

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‐ Right, sorry. Um,

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this is Jules Wiley.
We met at the‐‐

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DELPHINE [on phone]:
The Wellness Summit.

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The tech nerd at heart. I remember.

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You do? Um, amazing

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because I remember you
and your exhibit very well.

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I even recommended it to a stranger

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on the street recently,

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and I hate strangers, so high praise.

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[clears throat]

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Anyway, uh, I've given it
a lot of thought,

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and I would really love
to come in for an interview

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if that's still on the table.

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DELPHINE: Sure.
I'm running to a meeting now,

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and I'm off to London
for a pop‐up exhibit,

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but I'll be back in a month,

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and we can get something on the books.

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‐ Next month? Um...

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Look, I know this sounds crazy,
but I'm turning 30 next week,

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and I'm finally ready
to go after what I want,

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and that is this job.

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‐ Alright. I have a dinner,

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but I can meet you afterwards.

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Soho Warehouse 9 PM.
Tell them you're my guest.

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They're mean to nonmembers.

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[sighs]
[knocking on glass]

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‐ Is there no privacy here?

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‐ No. We live in a glass house.

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‐ Yeah, and there's an emergency situation
that needs your attention.

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‐ What?
‐ Well, we can't talk here. Obviously.

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SKY: Come on. I know where.
[Jules sighs]

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‐ What is happening,
besides My Little Pony

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taking a dump in the conference room?
‐ She took a shit on my week.

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Celeste decided to reach
our mom audience.

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She wants to do
a Children's Woöm Gift Guide,

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so I'm fielding products for it.

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But, the amount of princess stuff
I've been sent is truly haunting.

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‐ What year is it? Did they not come up

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with better ways to
traumatize children yet?

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‐ More like once‐upon‐a‐time's up.

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‐ I wrote my senior thesis
on why stories like this

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reinforce problematic stereotypes.

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Sexism, racism, ableism.

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Pretty much all the isms are an issue.

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‐ I mean, that mermaid
gave up her literal voice

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for a vagina and legs
to try and hook up with that guy

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who got drunk and fell off his
dad's boat on his birthday.

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Like, that is just a no for me.

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‐ I would never give up
my voice for my legs.

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‐ Okay, is this a TED Talk?

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Which I'm down for,

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but I thought you said
there was a problem.

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‐ We have tea about where Izzy is.

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‐ And the tea is hot.
It's, like, scalding.

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It's burn your insides.

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‐ Izzy is with Alison J.

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‐ What?

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No. Izzy is on a post‐breakup
solo wine weekend.

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‐ Aw, sis, you've been lied to.

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‐ We sensed something shady was
going down at the Wellness Summit,

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so we've been keeping our ears
to the ground for the past few weeks.

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‐ After the 25th microaggression in a row,

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one of the assistants at the Alisons
had just, like, had it.

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So, we met with her, and then
two sips into her dirty martini‐‐

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‐ Told us that damn ugly truth.

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♪

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Q: Once upon a time,
there was a king named Colin

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and a queen named Celeste,

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who had a nasty fucking divorce

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when the king cheated on the queen

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by fucking your best friend.

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Anyway...

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SKY: Like, seriously,
Madison is so pretty. Continue.

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Q: The king really wanted
the castle in Malibu,

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but the Queen wouldn't budge,
since he had betrayed her.

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[knights grunt]

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SKY: So now,
the king is coming after her heart.

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[indistinct mumbling]

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He's accusing her of lying about how much

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the Kingdom of Woöm is worth
and is willing to do whatever it takes

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to prove it and take the queen down.

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‐ Grr!

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Q:
The king has even enlisted the help

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of the queen's former royal court,
the Alisons,

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by promising them a handsome prize.
ALISONS: Ooh!

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SKY: He's offered them Series B
funding for their company

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in exchange for damaging
financial info from Woöm.

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Q: But because they had
already left the kingdom,

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the Alisons had to lure Princess Izzy

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to their chic boutique hotel in the woods.

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♪

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[cork pops]

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SKY: Now, they've trapped
Princess Izzy under their spell.

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They're offering her a job, but really,

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they're just after her
work computer with documents

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to stab Queen Celeste in the back...

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[beeping]

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Q:
So they can live happily ever after

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on a therapist's couch
because these people are messy.

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[sighs]

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‐ Whoa, that is a lot to unpack.

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Okay, I've unpacked it, and it's very bad!

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♪ theme song ♪

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[squeaking, caps highlighter]

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[squeaking, click]

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[sighs]

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[squeak, click]

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[squeak]

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‐ Sorry, is this annoying?

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‐ Yes.

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‐ [sighs] Well, it's the bar's grand
opening party guest list.

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So, yellow is family and friends,

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pink are for the influencers,
and blue is...

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Well, literally just two guys
from my internship

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that I wanna see how well I'm doing.
‐ [laughs] Naturally.

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[phone buzzing]

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‐ It's Liv.

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Hey.

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Yeah.

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‐ Okay.

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Yeah.

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Sure.

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I hear you.

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Yeah.

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[sighs]
[uncaps highlighter]

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‐ Stella Cole, you re‐pop that top
and start talking.

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What is going on with you and Liv?

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‐ It's nothing.
‐ Really?

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Because you asked to work
from my place today,

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and that phone call had all the syllables
of a very depressing haiku.

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‐ She is just working
on the inspection,

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and I am dealing with the party.

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Also, there was this weird
potential breakup thing

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that I really don't wanna talk about.

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‐ Are you sure?
‐ Yes.

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I just want to focus on the opening

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and everything I need to get done.

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Speaking of which,
did Ruby come through

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with a band to play at the party?

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‐ Um...

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‐ What's wrong with Ruby?

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‐ Nothing, besides the fact
that she's someone

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I'll never speak to again
for the rest of my life.

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‐ Okay, well, that's gonna be
a long‐ass flight to Australia.

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[sighs]

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‐ The tour isn't happening.
I put all of my career eggs

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in Ruby's basket,
and she fucking scrambled them.

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‐ Not all of your eggs.

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I mean, what about
Lotus Dragon Bebe, right?

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I remember you telling me something about

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some live show
she's doing with a princess.

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‐ Introducing one erotic dancer
to one royal investor

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does not a PR career make, Stella.

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‐ So, does Jules know
about this Ruby thing?

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‐ [sighs] I've picked up my phone
a million times this weekend to text her,

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but I just feel like such an idiot.

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I don't know what I'm gonna
say the next time I see her.

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[door opens]
JULES: Uh, hello?

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‐ Well, looks like we're
all about to find out.

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‐ Guys! I have
to tell you something!

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♪

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‐ Hi.
‐ Hi.

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‐ We should probably talk.

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‐ We should, but that is not
why I busted in dramatically.

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‐ Oh, right, you did just do that.
What's wrong?

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‐ Izzy's in trouble.

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I'm very winded.

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♪

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‐ I think I'm in a Colin‐related
rage blackout,

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so I'm struggling to process.

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‐ And I already tried calling her,
like, 55 times

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on the way over here
and she's not answering.

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‐ Okay, maybe Izzy thinks that
you're calling her from work

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or with Celeste or something?

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00:08:03,275 --> 00:08:04,818
I mean, we can try from my phone.

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00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:05,694
‐ Oh! Good idea.

202
00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:07,738
'Cause you're less of a friend
and more of a deity to Izzy.

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She would never not answer for you.

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‐ Yeah, put it on speaker.

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[phone ringing]

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00:08:12,743 --> 00:08:14,661
IZZY [on phone]: Hey.
‐ Izzy?

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00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,788
Are you okay?
I'm with Jules and Madison.

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‐ Sorry, it's not a great time.

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‐ Okay, Izzy, listen, you have to
leave those girls and come home.

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‐ Stella, they're offering me a job.

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‐ No, Izzy, they can't be trusted, okay?

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They're using you. I mean,
they don't actually care about you.

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00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:32,513
‐ Oh 'cause, like, who would
actually care about me,

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00:08:32,513 --> 00:08:34,765
right? [sarcastic laugh]
‐ What?

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00:08:34,765 --> 00:08:37,351
No. No, that's not what I meant at all.

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Izzy, this is not like you.
What's wrong?

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‐ Whatever. I gotta go.

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00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:43,982
[line beeping]

219
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♪

220
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‐ Did Izzy...

221
00:08:47,236 --> 00:08:49,071
just hang up...

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00:08:49,071 --> 00:08:50,572
on Stella?

223
00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:52,491
‐ This feels crazy.
Are we in the upside down?

224
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‐ Yeah, she did. Something is wrong.

225
00:08:55,285 --> 00:08:57,663
Something is very, very wrong.

226
00:08:58,455 --> 00:09:00,958
‐ Hey.
ALISON J: Hey.

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00:09:00,958 --> 00:09:02,668
‐ Sorry about that. Um,

228
00:09:02,668 --> 00:09:05,379
running a little late this morning
dealing with some shit. [laughs]

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‐ No worries, lady. I'm just très pleased

230
00:09:08,006 --> 00:09:10,342
we have some more time to chat.
How'd you sleep?

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‐ Well, after receiving very
upsetting news about my boss,

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and then lying to all my best friends,

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00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:16,932
I would say I got a solid
six to eight minutes.

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‐ The Alisons just thought you
should know what Celeste did.

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00:09:20,269 --> 00:09:22,187
I mean, they point blank
told her when they left Woöm

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that they wanted to take you with them,

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and the only reason they didn't
is because she said

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she was gonna promote you, so.

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‐ They definitely don't do
a Bloody Mary here?

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Just struggling with breakfast wine.

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‐ We all realized she lied
when she picked Jules instead.

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00:09:35,701 --> 00:09:39,538
And that is not the only
thing she lied about.

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00:09:39,538 --> 00:09:40,914
♪

244
00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:43,667
‐ Um... What else?

245
00:09:44,668 --> 00:09:46,545
‐ She completely lied
about how much Woöm is worth

246
00:09:46,545 --> 00:09:48,213
in her divorce proceedings.

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00:09:48,213 --> 00:09:50,090
That's why there was
so much drama in the separation.

248
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And, on a personal note,

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we take the same Pilates class,
and she never says hi.

250
00:09:53,677 --> 00:09:56,054
‐ Oh, in her defense, she's really
not a greetings person, so don't‐‐

251
00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:59,099
‐ Izzy, I'm not kidding.
She committed fraud.

252
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:00,809
‐ Do you really think so?

253
00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:02,811
‐ Yes, I could show you.

254
00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:06,356
You know, if you, I don't know,
have your work laptop,

255
00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:09,234
you might have access to the shared
drive with the financial reports.

256
00:10:16,742 --> 00:10:17,993
‐ So, what do we do?

257
00:10:17,993 --> 00:10:19,745
This feels like friend
threat level midnight.

258
00:10:19,745 --> 00:10:20,746
STELLA:
I agree.

259
00:10:20,746 --> 00:10:22,539
I mean, I don't think Izzy
would ever hang up on me

260
00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:25,709
if she wasn't secretly under the threat
of clear and present danger.

261
00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:28,712
‐ The Alisons must've hypnotized her,
or put her under a spell or something.

262
00:10:28,712 --> 00:10:30,214
‐ What if she's being brainwashed?

263
00:10:30,214 --> 00:10:32,591
‐ Or blackmailed. Wait!

264
00:10:32,591 --> 00:10:34,885
What if they have collateral
on her like NXIVM?

265
00:10:34,885 --> 00:10:36,261
‐ Naked pictures?
[Jules gasps]

266
00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:37,930
‐ What if they're forcing her
to play volleyball?

267
00:10:37,930 --> 00:10:39,014
MADISON:
Ugh...

268
00:10:39,014 --> 00:10:41,517
‐ Okay, this is now
a rescue mission. I will drive.

269
00:10:41,517 --> 00:10:43,894
‐ Wait, isn't Napa,
like, eight hours away?

270
00:10:43,894 --> 00:10:45,354
‐ Oh god, I don't have eight hours.

271
00:10:45,354 --> 00:10:48,106
I have to be downtown tonight
at 9:00 PM for a work meeting

272
00:10:48,106 --> 00:10:51,109
that is very important.
Not saving‐Izzy important.

273
00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:53,403
Just one that I should
definitely not miss.

274
00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:56,615
‐ The next available flight with seats
isn't until tomorrow afternoon.

275
00:10:56,615 --> 00:10:58,075
‐ Okay, well, are trains still a thing?

276
00:10:58,075 --> 00:11:00,827
‐ They exist, yeah, but it's not gonna
be faster with all the stops.

277
00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:03,121
‐ Okay, well, does anyone
have a fairy godmother then?

278
00:11:03,789 --> 00:11:04,831
‐ I know a princess.

279
00:11:05,541 --> 00:11:06,834
‐ Uh, what are you saying?

280
00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:08,669
‐ I'm saying I don't have
a fairy godmother,

281
00:11:08,669 --> 00:11:11,296
but the investor in the Bebe's live show

282
00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:13,298
is a literal princess.

283
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:15,175
Who has a plane.

284
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:18,053
♪

285
00:11:20,097 --> 00:11:22,099
♪ This is my squad ♪

286
00:11:22,558 --> 00:11:25,310
STELLA: It would be insensitive of me
to put this on my IG story, right?

287
00:11:25,310 --> 00:11:26,979
I mean, considering
Izzy might be in trouble.

288
00:11:26,979 --> 00:11:29,523
‐ Hm, feels like
a bank for later situation.

289
00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:31,358
But, you don't not look like
Beyoncé right now.

290
00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:32,442
[laughs]
[shutter snaps]

291
00:11:32,442 --> 00:11:34,194
Holy shit, she has a helicopter, too?

292
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:35,696
‐ You should see the yacht.

293
00:11:36,822 --> 00:11:38,824
‐ Fuck it. For the bank!
‐ Okay, let me get a pic!

294
00:11:38,824 --> 00:11:40,158
[Madison laughs]

295
00:11:40,158 --> 00:11:43,328
‐ One more? Yes! Got it! My turn.
[shutter snapping]

296
00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:46,373
♪ We got it, we got it, oh yeah ♪

297
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:49,376
[plane roaring]

298
00:11:49,918 --> 00:11:51,670
♪ We come together ♪

299
00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:54,840
♪ We come together ♪

300
00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:56,967
♪ This is my squad ♪

301
00:11:56,967 --> 00:11:58,594
[shutter snaps]
For the bank.

302
00:11:58,594 --> 00:12:00,220
♪ soft music ♪

303
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:01,972
‐ [sighs] I will say massage chairs

304
00:12:01,972 --> 00:12:04,516
built into an airplane are inspired.

305
00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:06,852
‐ I'm still too mad at Colin
to enjoy sky caviar.

306
00:12:07,603 --> 00:12:09,396
Alright, maybe I'll try just one.
[laughs]

307
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:13,609
‐ Do we think that Celeste actually lied
about how much Woöm is worth?

308
00:12:13,609 --> 00:12:15,360
‐ To be honest, I have no idea.

309
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,863
But given the history with Colin,
I wouldn't exactly blame her.

310
00:12:17,863 --> 00:12:19,489
‐ You know, I didn't think
it was possible for me

311
00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:21,825
to hate him any more
than I already did, and yet...

312
00:12:21,825 --> 00:12:23,869
‐ That dude is straight‐up diabolical.

313
00:12:23,869 --> 00:12:25,370
I mean, at first, I thought he was like

314
00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:27,414
The Affair season one evil,

315
00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:29,583
but this is a whole other level.

316
00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:32,794
This is like Succession season three evil.

317
00:12:32,794 --> 00:12:34,796
‐ It's insane he's coming
after her like this.

318
00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:37,883
‐ And using her employees.
‐ He's like a real‐life villain.

319
00:12:37,883 --> 00:12:39,259
‐ Yeah, the fairy tales we grew up on

320
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:41,803
did not prepare us for what real‐life
villains were going to look like.

321
00:12:41,803 --> 00:12:43,514
‐ Yeah, that's true
because most villains

322
00:12:43,514 --> 00:12:45,265
are just middle‐aged white guys.

323
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:48,852
‐ Right? Those movies made us
scared of women with heavy eyeliner.

324
00:12:48,852 --> 00:12:51,104
‐ I still can't believe Izzy
got wrapped up in all this.

325
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:53,649
I know she used to be influenced
by the Alisons or whatever,

326
00:12:53,649 --> 00:12:55,526
but this is‐‐
JULES: Extreme.

327
00:12:55,526 --> 00:12:57,277
‐ I just hope we can get to her
before they force her

328
00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:59,029
to do something she'll regret.
STELLA: I know.

329
00:12:59,863 --> 00:13:01,365
I'm so worried.

330
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:05,661
And yet so comfortable.
[smug giggling]

331
00:13:05,661 --> 00:13:08,330
[sighs] Should we have a drink?

332
00:13:08,330 --> 00:13:11,333
♪

333
00:13:14,419 --> 00:13:15,879
‐ You're doing the right thing, Izzy.

334
00:13:15,879 --> 00:13:18,173
‐ I don't know
what I'm doing anymore.

335
00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:19,967
I pushed my boyfriend away,

336
00:13:19,967 --> 00:13:22,219
and I hung up on my best friends.

337
00:13:22,219 --> 00:13:24,054
ALISON: No, no, no.
I'll tell you what you're doing.

338
00:13:24,054 --> 00:13:27,140
You are making yourself
the main character in your story.

339
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:29,309
And guess what? I'm bingeing it.

340
00:13:33,981 --> 00:13:36,608
‐ [sighs] Here. Just take it.

341
00:13:37,651 --> 00:13:39,069
‐ So dramatic. [laughs]

342
00:13:44,366 --> 00:13:45,951
Wait, where are you going?

343
00:13:45,951 --> 00:13:47,703
I got us one last
wine tasting to celebrate

344
00:13:47,703 --> 00:13:50,914
before we go back to LA! [laughs]

345
00:13:51,999 --> 00:13:55,002
Okay... Weird to walk away
and not say anything.

346
00:13:56,044 --> 00:13:57,045
[squeal]

347
00:13:58,130 --> 00:14:00,340
[clicking]
Secrets, secrets, secret, secrets.

348
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,217
[panting]

349
00:14:02,217 --> 00:14:04,428
‐ Hi. The concierge said
this is where we could find one

350
00:14:04,428 --> 00:14:06,930
or more extremely
problematic women named Alison.

351
00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:09,933
♪

352
00:14:11,393 --> 00:14:12,769
ALISON J:
Oh my god.

353
00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:14,688
[imitates siren]

354
00:14:14,688 --> 00:14:17,482
[slurred] The freaking friend squad
is here. What's up, girlies?

355
00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:19,818
‐ Jesus.
‐ Wine has been tasted.

356
00:14:19,818 --> 00:14:22,112
JULES: Alison, you are too drunk
to process this,

357
00:14:22,112 --> 00:14:25,532
but we are very disappointed
in you. Where is Izzy?

358
00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:27,618
‐ Wait, isn't that her laptop?
Did you steal it?

359
00:14:27,618 --> 00:14:28,535
‐ No.
STELLA: What, do you

360
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:29,995
have her chained
to a radiator or something?

361
00:14:29,995 --> 00:14:31,288
‐ Okay, the five of you...

362
00:14:31,288 --> 00:14:32,289
‐ There's three of us.

363
00:14:32,289 --> 00:14:33,874
‐ ...need to listen.

364
00:14:33,874 --> 00:14:35,209
I didn't take this.

365
00:14:35,209 --> 00:14:36,793
Izzy gave it to me,

366
00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:38,962
just like she gave me all the little wines

367
00:14:38,962 --> 00:14:41,590
because she didn't want them
because she's being emo as hell.

368
00:14:41,590 --> 00:14:43,675
[laughs]
Then she went on a walk.

369
00:14:43,675 --> 00:14:45,969
‐ Wait, if Izzy gave that
to her willingly, then...

370
00:14:45,969 --> 00:14:47,804
‐ I'm officially freaked out.
We have to find her.

371
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:50,098
‐ How? This place
is like a wine continent.

372
00:14:50,098 --> 00:14:52,100
‐ Look, we have to split up.
Text each other if we find her.

373
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:54,645
‐ God, I'm really worried about her.
‐ We'll find her.

374
00:14:54,645 --> 00:14:56,313
‐ Bye. [giggles]

375
00:14:57,189 --> 00:14:58,899
SKY:
With Princess Izzy captured,

376
00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:01,401
our babes in shining couture
came to her rescue.

377
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:04,029
Q: I mean, they're wearing off‐the‐rack,
but fine.

378
00:15:04,029 --> 00:15:05,739
‐ Izzy!

379
00:15:05,739 --> 00:15:08,075
♪

380
00:15:08,075 --> 00:15:09,076
‐ Izzy!

381
00:15:11,995 --> 00:15:12,996
‐ Izzy!

382
00:15:13,997 --> 00:15:15,499
Where are you?!

383
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:20,587
SKY: Jules arrived expecting to
rescue Izzy from the Alisons grasp,

384
00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:24,341
only to discover the real villain
maybe someone even more dangerous.

385
00:15:24,341 --> 00:15:25,843
Q: Izzy herself.

386
00:15:25,843 --> 00:15:28,846
♪ Broadway music ♪

387
00:15:28,846 --> 00:15:29,847
[sighs]

388
00:15:37,479 --> 00:15:40,524
♪ If you think dragons guarding castles ♪

389
00:15:40,524 --> 00:15:42,568
♪ Can keep a girl confined ♪

390
00:15:43,068 --> 00:15:46,071
♪ I'll tell you, they have nothing on ♪

391
00:15:46,071 --> 00:15:48,866
♪ The ones inside my mind ♪

392
00:15:48,866 --> 00:15:51,869
♪ Yes, I believed in happy endings ♪

393
00:15:51,869 --> 00:15:54,538
♪ Once upon a time ♪

394
00:15:54,538 --> 00:15:57,207
♪ But happiness may be a thing ♪

395
00:15:57,207 --> 00:16:00,294
♪ For which I'm not designed ♪

396
00:16:00,294 --> 00:16:03,881
♪ I met a prince who thought
the world of me ♪

397
00:16:03,881 --> 00:16:05,674
♪ And sent him packing ♪

398
00:16:05,674 --> 00:16:07,259
♪ He'll never know ♪

399
00:16:07,259 --> 00:16:08,927
♪ The problem lies ♪

400
00:16:08,927 --> 00:16:11,263
♪ Within all that I'm lacking ♪

401
00:16:11,722 --> 00:16:13,849
♪ No true love kiss can wake me ♪

402
00:16:13,849 --> 00:16:17,436
♪ From a curse of my own making ♪

403
00:16:17,436 --> 00:16:20,105
♪ The dream that I deserved him ♪

404
00:16:20,105 --> 00:16:22,316
♪ Was the dream that I'd be faking ♪

405
00:16:23,734 --> 00:16:26,278
♪ This funk that I've been stuck in ♪

406
00:16:26,278 --> 00:16:29,573
♪ For a lifetime feels unshakable ♪

407
00:16:29,573 --> 00:16:31,533
♪ I'm starting to believe ♪

408
00:16:31,533 --> 00:16:35,329
♪ That I am the curse that's unbreakable ♪

409
00:16:35,329 --> 00:16:38,248
♪ What magic power
could come and set me ♪

410
00:16:38,248 --> 00:16:40,667
♪ Free? ♪

411
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:43,712
♪ When the terrible tower I'm trapped in ♪

412
00:16:43,712 --> 00:16:46,089
♪ Is me? ♪

413
00:16:46,465 --> 00:16:49,092
♪ Is me ♪

414
00:16:49,092 --> 00:16:51,094
[inaudible]

415
00:16:51,094 --> 00:16:54,097
♪

416
00:16:55,516 --> 00:16:58,227
♪ Sometimes, I tell myself I'm nothing ♪

417
00:16:58,227 --> 00:17:01,146
♪ That I matter not at all ♪

418
00:17:01,146 --> 00:17:03,315
♪ The darkest foe I've ever met ♪

419
00:17:03,315 --> 00:17:06,693
♪ Lives in the mirror on the wall ♪

420
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:09,488
♪ And it may sound like I'm complaining ♪

421
00:17:09,488 --> 00:17:12,324
♪ But truth be told, I'm scared ♪

422
00:17:12,324 --> 00:17:14,785
♪ That these feelings I'm containing ♪

423
00:17:14,785 --> 00:17:17,746
♪ Might just kill me if not shared ♪

424
00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:23,377
♪ This funk that I've been stuck in ♪

425
00:17:23,377 --> 00:17:26,755
♪ For a lifetime feels unshakable ♪

426
00:17:26,755 --> 00:17:28,590
♪ I'm starting to believe ♪

427
00:17:28,590 --> 00:17:32,469
♪ That I'm the curse that's unbreakable ♪

428
00:17:32,469 --> 00:17:35,389
♪ What magic power could come and set me ♪

429
00:17:35,389 --> 00:17:37,683
♪ Free? ♪

430
00:17:37,683 --> 00:17:40,853
♪ When the terrible tower I'm trapped in ♪

431
00:17:40,853 --> 00:17:43,397
♪ Is me? ♪

432
00:17:43,397 --> 00:17:44,648
♪ Is me... ♪

433
00:17:44,648 --> 00:17:45,899
ALL:
Izzy!

434
00:17:45,899 --> 00:17:48,986
‐ Izzy! Come on, she's going this way.

435
00:17:52,197 --> 00:17:54,241
[knocking]

436
00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:56,535
Iz? We know you're there! It's us!

437
00:17:56,535 --> 00:17:59,288
[knocking]
MADISON: Hello? Please open up!

438
00:18:00,122 --> 00:18:02,499
JULES: The concierge gave us a key, Izzy!
We're coming in.

439
00:18:04,334 --> 00:18:05,377
[all gasp]

440
00:18:05,377 --> 00:18:08,380
♪ dramatic music ♪

441
00:18:15,679 --> 00:18:19,266
‐ Do you think she, like, took something?
‐ Who knows CPR?

442
00:18:19,266 --> 00:18:21,768
‐ I mean, I had to learn it
in case Bruno choked on a Lego.

443
00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:22,978
Okay, okay.

444
00:18:22,978 --> 00:18:25,981
♪

445
00:18:28,233 --> 00:18:29,067
[gasps]

446
00:18:29,067 --> 00:18:31,236
‐ [gasps] Oh, thank fuck!
‐ [gasps] Oh, thank God. You're okay.

447
00:18:31,236 --> 00:18:32,613
‐ What are you guys doing here?

448
00:18:32,613 --> 00:18:33,989
‐ We were worried about you.

449
00:18:34,573 --> 00:18:35,782
‐ Wh...

450
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,284
Why are you trying
to make out with me?

451
00:18:37,284 --> 00:18:39,745
‐ Okay, that was CPR
that I learned on YouTube.

452
00:18:39,745 --> 00:18:41,622
I mean, I probably
should've taken a real class

453
00:18:41,622 --> 00:18:43,207
'cause I had no idea
what I was doing there.

454
00:18:43,207 --> 00:18:44,958
‐ Yeah, you used tongue?

455
00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:47,044
‐ Look, you scared
the shit out of us.

456
00:18:47,044 --> 00:18:49,254
‐ Yeah, we were worried you took
a bunch of pills or something.

457
00:18:49,254 --> 00:18:52,090
‐ Oh god, no. I just didn't get
a lot of sleep last night.

458
00:18:52,090 --> 00:18:53,717
I was taking a deeply sad nap.

459
00:18:53,717 --> 00:18:56,887
‐ Izzy, what is going on?
You're not acting like yourself.

460
00:18:56,887 --> 00:18:58,347
You lied, and you lied well.

461
00:18:58,347 --> 00:19:01,099
‐ I know.
Can't believe I pulled that off.

462
00:19:01,099 --> 00:19:02,476
Should I get into politics?

463
00:19:02,476 --> 00:19:04,728
‐ The Alisons are trying
to screw over Celeste

464
00:19:04,728 --> 00:19:06,813
because they think Colin
will give them money if they do.

465
00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:09,316
‐ Those bribe‐taking Barbies
are not to be trusted.

466
00:19:09,316 --> 00:19:11,902
‐ I know, except they can't
screw Celeste over

467
00:19:11,902 --> 00:19:13,654
because she isn't lying.

468
00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:16,990
‐ But, those financial documents
the Alisons were after?

469
00:19:16,990 --> 00:19:20,285
‐ Everything Celeste reported
about Woöm is actually true.

470
00:19:20,285 --> 00:19:21,328
We're pretty much broke.

471
00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:24,957
‐ But, we‐we charge $200
for eyebrow brushes!

472
00:19:24,957 --> 00:19:27,668
They're just tiny combs!
How is that possible?

473
00:19:27,668 --> 00:19:30,254
‐ Celeste has always said,
"You gotta spend money to make money,"

474
00:19:30,254 --> 00:19:33,048
but I think she took it too far,
and I'm pretty sure she only watched

475
00:19:33,048 --> 00:19:35,592
the first half of the WeWork documentary.

476
00:19:35,592 --> 00:19:38,637
That sculpture right by the front
entrance? She spent 50K on it.

477
00:19:39,513 --> 00:19:42,015
‐ The one we use as a coat rack?

478
00:19:42,015 --> 00:19:44,768
Well, if there was nothing bad on
the laptop, why did you give it to them?

479
00:19:45,227 --> 00:19:48,021
‐ I don't know. I guess it just
sort of felt like a symbolic gesture

480
00:19:48,021 --> 00:19:49,439
of me giving the fuck up.

481
00:19:49,439 --> 00:19:51,525
I just get in a dark place sometimes.

482
00:19:51,525 --> 00:19:54,820
Can't believe I have to spend
the rest of my life with myself.

483
00:19:54,820 --> 00:19:56,613
‐ Okay. Izzy,

484
00:19:56,613 --> 00:19:58,282
we're here to snap you out of it.

485
00:19:58,282 --> 00:20:01,076
You better start being nicer to yourself,
or I'm gonna fuck you up.

486
00:20:01,076 --> 00:20:02,786
That's my best friend
you're talking about.

487
00:20:02,786 --> 00:20:05,080
‐ Yeah. If you keep shitting on yourself,
we'll all beat you up.

488
00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:07,916
‐ Because we love you.
IZZY: Ugh, I am out of it.

489
00:20:07,916 --> 00:20:09,126
You're right.

490
00:20:09,126 --> 00:20:11,545
I'm sorry I lied to you guys.

491
00:20:11,545 --> 00:20:13,547
I hate keeping things from you.

492
00:20:13,547 --> 00:20:15,716
MADISON: We all need to be honest
with each other.

493
00:20:15,716 --> 00:20:17,968
♪

494
00:20:17,968 --> 00:20:19,386
‐ Okay, well...

495
00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:21,680
I'm not sure I'm ready
for a girlfriend and a kid.

496
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:25,017
And I mean, if I'm not,
then I can't do that to Bruno

497
00:20:25,017 --> 00:20:27,895
because I know what that feels like.
I was that kid.

498
00:20:32,691 --> 00:20:34,568
‐ So, Ruby kind of imploded.

499
00:20:34,568 --> 00:20:36,361
Like, scorched earth‐style.

500
00:20:37,487 --> 00:20:38,614
Australia canceled,

501
00:20:38,614 --> 00:20:40,574
career getting on track canceled,

502
00:20:40,574 --> 00:20:43,285
friendship canceled. All of it.

503
00:20:44,411 --> 00:20:46,580
[Jules sighs, clears throat]

504
00:20:48,874 --> 00:20:50,167
‐ I wanna quit my job.

505
00:20:50,834 --> 00:20:52,044
‐ Wait, what?

506
00:20:52,628 --> 00:20:55,380
‐ The meeting I have to be back
for tonight isn't for Woöm.

507
00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:57,883
It's an interview for that
digital media job at the museum.

508
00:20:57,883 --> 00:20:59,676
‐ Whoa. Uh,

509
00:20:59,676 --> 00:21:02,471
okay, I'm seeing
we all had a lot to share.

510
00:21:02,471 --> 00:21:04,848
‐ I'm really sorry I didn't listen
to your Spidey senses.

511
00:21:05,724 --> 00:21:07,392
‐ I'm really sorry they were right.

512
00:21:07,392 --> 00:21:10,062
‐ I'm feeling a really strong
urge to suggest a group hug.

513
00:21:10,062 --> 00:21:12,147
‐ Let's not do the whole
bottle‐up‐our‐feelings

514
00:21:12,147 --> 00:21:13,982
and‐not‐tell‐each‐other‐things ever again.

515
00:21:13,982 --> 00:21:16,360
‐ Yeah, who did
we think we were? Men?

516
00:21:17,486 --> 00:21:19,530
‐ Jules, we do have to get
back to the private jet

517
00:21:19,530 --> 00:21:21,865
if you wanna make it in time.
‐ Oh, wait a second.

518
00:21:21,865 --> 00:21:23,700
Did you just say "private jet"?

519
00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:25,702
Did you guys come to
rescue me in a private jet?

520
00:21:25,702 --> 00:21:27,037
‐ Told you we loved you.

521
00:21:27,037 --> 00:21:28,413
‐ Okay, fuck it. I need the hug.

522
00:21:28,413 --> 00:21:29,665
[laughter]

523
00:21:30,624 --> 00:21:32,543
‐ Okay, bonding moment over.
We have to go.

524
00:21:32,543 --> 00:21:33,877
IZZY: Okay.
MADISON: Okay.

525
00:21:33,877 --> 00:21:36,505
‐ And who the fuck has a private jet?

526
00:21:36,505 --> 00:21:38,298
‐ [slurred]: Can I please speak
to your manager?

527
00:21:38,298 --> 00:21:40,175
I mean, you have chicken.
You have cheese.

528
00:21:40,175 --> 00:21:43,929
There's no reason room service can't
make me an off‐the‐menu quesadilla.

529
00:21:43,929 --> 00:21:46,932
Seriously, my day has taken a turn
that's, like, less than ideal.

530
00:21:46,932 --> 00:21:47,933
[mumbles]

531
00:21:47,933 --> 00:21:50,394
‐ Guess you found out by now
that Celeste wasn't lying.

532
00:21:50,394 --> 00:21:54,147
‐ Um, it's really weird that you
still pay for music on iTunes.

533
00:21:54,147 --> 00:21:55,148
‐ I know.

534
00:21:55,148 --> 00:21:57,109
‐ Do you have anything else
you'd like to say to her?

535
00:21:57,109 --> 00:21:59,069
‐ Like, "Sorry for being awful"?

536
00:21:59,444 --> 00:22:00,445
[sighs]

537
00:22:01,154 --> 00:22:03,740
‐ I was just trying to be who
the Alisons wanted me to be.

538
00:22:04,283 --> 00:22:07,953
‐ I know what it's like to wanna be
anyone else other than yourself.

539
00:22:07,953 --> 00:22:09,580
‐ I'm a fucking Karen.

540
00:22:10,747 --> 00:22:12,082
Like, that's my real legal name.

541
00:22:12,791 --> 00:22:16,211
‐ But it doesn't mean you have
to be an actual Karen, okay?

542
00:22:16,211 --> 00:22:18,297
And trying to be an Allison by hurting

543
00:22:18,297 --> 00:22:21,049
and manipulating people
is not the answer.

544
00:22:21,550 --> 00:22:25,012
‐ Now, if you'll excuse us,
we have a private jet to catch.

545
00:22:25,012 --> 00:22:28,891
‐ You guys are taking a PJ back to LA?
Could I hop a ride?

546
00:22:28,891 --> 00:22:30,642
MADISON: Ha! Absolutely not.
IZZY: Sorry.

547
00:22:30,642 --> 00:22:32,769
‐ But, enjoy Southwest.

548
00:22:34,396 --> 00:22:37,065
‐ God, I'm never making it
to this 9:00 meeting.

549
00:22:37,065 --> 00:22:39,526
By the time we land
and drive downtown in traffic...

550
00:22:39,526 --> 00:22:41,028
‐ But, if you had a helicopter...

551
00:22:42,029 --> 00:22:43,280
‐ She has a helicopter!

552
00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:46,825
♪ I'm mad at Disney,
Disney, they tricked me ♪

553
00:22:46,825 --> 00:22:48,368
JULES: I think it's that building.

554
00:22:48,368 --> 00:22:51,246
PILOT: Roger that, setting her down.
JULES: I hope this is okay.

555
00:22:51,246 --> 00:22:52,581
I'm not a member.

556
00:22:52,581 --> 00:22:54,917
♪ I'm 20‐something, I still... ♪

557
00:22:54,917 --> 00:22:56,293
JULES:
Thanks, Pete!

558
00:22:56,293 --> 00:22:58,795
[helicopter whirring]

559
00:22:58,795 --> 00:23:00,339
♪ What I'm not ♪

560
00:23:00,339 --> 00:23:01,590
[beep]

561
00:23:02,841 --> 00:23:04,092
Made it.

562
00:23:04,092 --> 00:23:06,220
♪

563
00:23:06,220 --> 00:23:08,347
[helicopter whirring]

564
00:23:08,347 --> 00:23:10,474
♪ 'Cause I felt sad love ♪

565
00:23:10,474 --> 00:23:12,601
♪ I felt bad love ♪

566
00:23:12,601 --> 00:23:14,520
♪ Sometimes happy love ♪

567
00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:16,855
♪ Turns into giving up ♪

568
00:23:16,855 --> 00:23:18,941
♪ I felt hurt love ♪

569
00:23:18,941 --> 00:23:21,026
♪ By the word love ♪

570
00:23:21,026 --> 00:23:23,195
♪ Oh, what the hell is love ♪

571
00:23:23,195 --> 00:23:26,323
♪ Supposed to feel like? ♪

572
00:23:26,323 --> 00:23:29,576
♪ What the hell is love,
what the hell is love ♪

573
00:23:29,576 --> 00:23:31,662
♪ What the hell is love ♪

574
00:23:31,662 --> 00:23:34,623
♪ Supposed to feel like? ♪

575
00:23:34,623 --> 00:23:37,876
♪ What the hell is love,
what the hell is love ♪

576
00:23:37,876 --> 00:23:39,962
♪ What the hell is love ♪

577
00:23:39,962 --> 00:23:42,756
♪ Supposed to feel like? ♪

578
00:23:42,756 --> 00:23:45,759
♪

579
00:23:50,264 --> 00:23:52,891
♪ I'm mad at Disney, Disney ♪

580
00:23:52,891 --> 00:23:55,769
♪ They tricked me, tricked me,
no more wishing ♪

581
00:23:55,769 --> 00:23:59,356
♪ On a shooting star ♪