1 00:00:01,044 --> 00:00:02,712 ♪ upbeat music playing ♪ 2 00:00:05,924 --> 00:00:09,511 ‐ And that's when I realized I'd been wrong about my face shape for years. 3 00:00:09,511 --> 00:00:11,471 It turns out it is a heart shape. 4 00:00:11,471 --> 00:00:13,890 It's just one of those hearts that's really round. 5 00:00:13,890 --> 00:00:17,060 ‐ Wow, that's crazy, and a very interesting conclusion 6 00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:19,521 to why you thought the Gilmore Girls revival was a failure. 7 00:00:19,521 --> 00:00:22,023 ‐ Ladies, join us in the conversation pit. 8 00:00:25,527 --> 00:00:27,988 We were just sharing our personal mission statements 9 00:00:27,988 --> 00:00:29,906 for the employee wellness retreat this weekend. 10 00:00:29,906 --> 00:00:31,533 IZZY: Oh my gosh, amaze. 11 00:00:31,533 --> 00:00:34,786 Okay, so mine is gonna be to be more confident. 12 00:00:34,786 --> 00:00:38,081 Wait, no. Um, less indecisive. 13 00:00:38,081 --> 00:00:39,249 Actually, I'm not sure. 14 00:00:39,249 --> 00:00:41,376 ALISON B.: Mine's to do a full digital detox. 15 00:00:41,376 --> 00:00:43,837 Celeste's beach house has lightning‐fast Wi‐Fi, 16 00:00:43,837 --> 00:00:46,548 but the only connecting I'll be doing is with Mother Nature 17 00:00:46,548 --> 00:00:49,092 and my gorgeous colleagues. 18 00:00:49,092 --> 00:00:51,928 Jules, it was such a bummer that you had to miss last year's retreat. 19 00:00:51,928 --> 00:00:53,430 And the one before that. 20 00:00:53,430 --> 00:00:56,308 ‐ I know. I really hope there's not another specific reason 21 00:00:56,308 --> 00:00:58,018 why you can't come this year. 22 00:00:58,018 --> 00:01:01,271 ‐ Ooh, yeah, um... [clears throat] about that. 23 00:01:01,271 --> 00:01:03,481 ANNOUNCER: Good afternoon and welcome to the fifth annual running 24 00:01:03,481 --> 00:01:06,359 of "What excuse will Jules use to get out of attending the company retreat?" 25 00:01:06,359 --> 00:01:09,446 Jules has been making tremendous headway these last few months, 26 00:01:09,446 --> 00:01:11,364 getting closer with her friends in and outside of work. 27 00:01:11,364 --> 00:01:13,325 But this event really stands to solidify 28 00:01:13,325 --> 00:01:15,368 her position as, quote, "one of the girls." 29 00:01:15,368 --> 00:01:17,078 ‐ [bell rings] ‐ And they're off! 30 00:01:17,078 --> 00:01:20,498 ‐ Um... [clears throat] the thing about this weekend is, uh... 31 00:01:20,498 --> 00:01:22,208 ANNOUNCER: It's Grandma's Funeral up in front 32 00:01:22,208 --> 00:01:24,419 with Food Poisoning half a length behind! ‐ Come on! 33 00:01:24,419 --> 00:01:27,505 ‐ There's a situation, um, with my bathroom. 34 00:01:27,505 --> 00:01:30,508 ANNOUNCER: And here comes Plumbing Issues looking strong out of the first turn. 35 00:01:30,508 --> 00:01:33,094 ‐ Obviously I would love, ahem, to attend the retreat, um... 36 00:01:33,094 --> 00:01:35,263 ANNOUNCER: Plumbing Issues is trailed by the rest of the pack. 37 00:01:35,263 --> 00:01:39,267 Nephew's Bar Mitzvah, Totally Forgot, and Parents in Town bringing up the rear! 38 00:01:39,267 --> 00:01:41,811 Wait a minute, out of nowhere, a dark horse is picking up speed! 39 00:01:41,811 --> 00:01:43,313 It's She's Gonna Go! 40 00:01:43,313 --> 00:01:45,649 Into the final straightaway, it's She's Gonna Go for third! 41 00:01:45,649 --> 00:01:48,443 ‐ And that's why this year I'm... 42 00:01:48,443 --> 00:01:50,403 ‐ She's Gonna Go for second! ...going. 43 00:01:50,403 --> 00:01:52,364 ‐ She's Gonna Go for the win by a nose! 44 00:01:52,364 --> 00:01:54,783 [gamblers groan] 45 00:01:54,783 --> 00:01:57,827 ♪ theme song plays ♪ 46 00:01:57,827 --> 00:02:00,789 ‐ The retreat is gonna be way more fun with you there, Jules. 47 00:02:00,789 --> 00:02:04,834 I was so over being the only one without a partner for couples' colonics last year. 48 00:02:04,834 --> 00:02:06,294 ‐ Uggh! ‐ What? 49 00:02:06,294 --> 00:02:08,296 The email said to pack athletic wear. 50 00:02:08,296 --> 00:02:10,298 ‐ Did it say pack athletic wear 51 00:02:10,298 --> 00:02:12,300 for a nine‐year‐old boy on his way to soccer practice? 52 00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:13,635 'Cause that's what this is. 53 00:02:15,178 --> 00:02:18,640 ‐ Uh, can I help you with my mail? STELLA: No, I'm good. 54 00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:21,726 ‐ Oh, so we're just committing casual felonies now. 55 00:02:21,726 --> 00:02:23,687 ‐ No, I get my mail sent here sometimes, you know that. 56 00:02:23,687 --> 00:02:25,188 ‐ I feel certain that I didn't. 57 00:02:25,188 --> 00:02:28,358 ‐ You're just a person that doesn't lose important bills and documents and stuff. 58 00:02:28,358 --> 00:02:29,484 ‐ So, a person? 59 00:02:29,484 --> 00:02:33,154 ‐ Oh look, time to get your teeth cleaned. ‐ Oh, man. 60 00:02:33,154 --> 00:02:34,906 Hey, I liked that. 61 00:02:34,906 --> 00:02:36,408 ‐ Oh, no, you're right. It's too cruel. 62 00:02:36,408 --> 00:02:39,077 ‐ Thank you. ‐ No, I meant for the people of Goodwill. 63 00:02:39,077 --> 00:02:43,123 ‐ Oh, my God, Stella, are you pen pals with George Clooney? 64 00:02:43,123 --> 00:02:44,457 ‐ No, no. Amal. 65 00:02:44,457 --> 00:02:47,335 What I really need are business school acceptance letters. 66 00:02:47,335 --> 00:02:49,045 ‐ Look, you're gonna get somewhere great. 67 00:02:49,045 --> 00:02:51,256 It's all gonna work out, 'cause life is amazing. 68 00:02:51,256 --> 00:02:52,716 Holy shitballs, nope! 69 00:02:52,716 --> 00:02:55,510 ‐ Okay, you're officially having too much fun with this. 70 00:02:55,510 --> 00:02:56,970 ‐ What? I'm in a good mood. 71 00:02:56,970 --> 00:02:59,639 You know, that can happen when your hot, successful older boyfriend 72 00:02:59,639 --> 00:03:01,516 tells you he loves you. ‐ Oooh! 73 00:03:01,516 --> 00:03:03,560 ‐ Wow! ‐ It's no big deal. 74 00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:07,022 We're just two mature adults who just happen to have discovered 75 00:03:07,022 --> 00:03:08,398 that our souls mesh perfectly 76 00:03:08,398 --> 00:03:11,109 in a delicate symphony of desire and spiritual fulfillment. 77 00:03:11,109 --> 00:03:13,612 ‐ Well, I'm very happy for you. 78 00:03:13,612 --> 00:03:15,447 ‐ Thank you. And I'm very happy for you. 79 00:03:15,447 --> 00:03:18,325 Seriously, Jules, it's a big deal that you're going to this retreat. 80 00:03:18,325 --> 00:03:20,410 I mean, you've really been putting in the effort to be 81 00:03:20,410 --> 00:03:23,204 a functioning woman with actual friends who are not her cat. 82 00:03:23,204 --> 00:03:26,666 ‐ Yeah, I feel like I have been doing amazing at being a girl lately. 83 00:03:26,666 --> 00:03:28,460 ‐ Eeh, no one said that. ‐ Slow your roll. 84 00:03:28,460 --> 00:03:31,713 ‐ You thought a Bioré strip was that land between Israel and Egypt. 85 00:03:31,713 --> 00:03:34,716 ‐ For me. Amazing for me. 86 00:03:34,716 --> 00:03:36,593 I just have to go in there with an open mind. 87 00:03:36,593 --> 00:03:40,430 IMELDA: We need to do more than open our minds. 88 00:03:40,430 --> 00:03:43,850 We need to release our breath 89 00:03:43,850 --> 00:03:47,562 and engage our pelvic floor. 90 00:03:48,104 --> 00:03:50,357 ‐ [goat bleating] IMELDA: Let the goats absorb 91 00:03:50,357 --> 00:03:52,150 the negative energy. 92 00:03:52,150 --> 00:03:53,485 [goat bleats] 93 00:03:55,153 --> 00:03:58,949 Ladies, let's give a warm welcome to Imelda, 94 00:03:58,949 --> 00:04:03,078 who is leading us as retreat mother for the fourth year in a row. 95 00:04:03,078 --> 00:04:04,704 [goats bleating] 96 00:04:06,581 --> 00:04:09,918 I am so very happy to be back here at my Malibu home, 97 00:04:09,918 --> 00:04:13,838 perfectly situated between beach and forest, 98 00:04:13,838 --> 00:04:16,299 sand and sky... ‐ [goat bleating] 99 00:04:16,299 --> 00:04:21,596 ‐ ...the drummer of Imagine Dragons and the heir to the Capri Sun fortune. 100 00:04:21,596 --> 00:04:23,265 Humble head, Jules. 101 00:04:23,265 --> 00:04:27,394 Hosting this retreat every year is such an honor for you girls 102 00:04:27,394 --> 00:04:30,355 that I only wish I had someone like me in my life 103 00:04:30,355 --> 00:04:32,941 to be the person that I am for you. 104 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:38,822 But since I cannot be me, I have Imelda. 105 00:04:38,822 --> 00:04:43,410 ‐ Every experience is a birth. 106 00:04:45,161 --> 00:04:47,622 Except for birth. 107 00:04:48,373 --> 00:04:51,668 Which is a continuation. Continuation. 108 00:04:52,544 --> 00:04:56,214 Now let's inhale for a violent scream. 109 00:04:56,214 --> 00:04:58,008 [inhales sharply] 110 00:04:58,758 --> 00:05:03,388 ♪ women singing in African language ♪ 111 00:05:05,181 --> 00:05:07,183 ♪ rhythmic African music playing ♪ 112 00:05:20,155 --> 00:05:22,991 [music continues, gulls calling] 113 00:05:28,038 --> 00:05:30,498 ‐ Laura's floating pretty far out. 114 00:05:30,498 --> 00:05:32,876 ‐ Laura's meditating, Jules. We shouldn't interrupt her. 115 00:05:32,876 --> 00:05:34,794 ‐ She's on her own journey. 116 00:05:35,921 --> 00:05:37,797 ♪ music continues ♪ 117 00:05:42,177 --> 00:05:44,179 [Alison B. whimpering] 118 00:05:44,179 --> 00:05:45,430 [Imelda humming] 119 00:05:45,430 --> 00:05:49,893 ‐ That is what the ostrich represented, you do love your sister. 120 00:05:49,893 --> 00:05:53,104 ‐ I do! I really do! 121 00:05:56,566 --> 00:05:58,443 ‐ Nourish yourselves, ladies. 122 00:06:00,946 --> 00:06:02,113 ‐ She's ready. 123 00:06:02,113 --> 00:06:03,990 ‐ Oh, good. 124 00:06:06,451 --> 00:06:08,870 ‐ Um... has anyone seen Laura? 125 00:06:09,871 --> 00:06:11,831 [gong sounds] 126 00:06:11,831 --> 00:06:15,293 ‐ Have you ever had your energy read before? 127 00:06:15,293 --> 00:06:18,880 ‐ No, actually. But it was either this or cervical acupuncture. 128 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:22,175 ‐ Shhhh. Speech disrupts the work. 129 00:06:22,175 --> 00:06:24,553 ‐ Sorry. I mean you did ask me a question‐‐ 130 00:06:24,553 --> 00:06:25,554 ‐ Did I? ‐ Yes. 131 00:06:25,554 --> 00:06:26,680 ‐ Shhhhh. 132 00:06:28,098 --> 00:06:32,143 I'm now going to begin to penetrate your auric shield. 133 00:06:33,144 --> 00:06:35,146 You may have a very intense reaction. 134 00:06:36,064 --> 00:06:39,526 Try to remain calm, even though this will be very frightening. 135 00:06:41,736 --> 00:06:44,322 [chanting loudly] 136 00:06:46,700 --> 00:06:51,538 I'm sensing something. Let's try to help it emerge. 137 00:06:51,538 --> 00:06:53,331 [chanting] 138 00:06:56,751 --> 00:06:58,211 There's something inside you. 139 00:06:59,671 --> 00:07:00,755 A seed. 140 00:07:01,256 --> 00:07:03,758 It's incubating. Growing. 141 00:07:03,758 --> 00:07:07,971 It will get bigger and bigger until one day, it will be born. 142 00:07:07,971 --> 00:07:10,640 ‐ You know what? Um, as much as I'm loving 143 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:13,143 this very intense, uh, scary prolonged face touching, 144 00:07:13,143 --> 00:07:16,688 I think we're all late to stuff a lavender pouch, you know? 145 00:07:16,688 --> 00:07:19,774 Because, as you know, uh, they don't stuff themselves. 146 00:07:19,774 --> 00:07:21,818 [chuckles] Shall we, ladies? 147 00:07:21,818 --> 00:07:23,862 IMELDA: One more thing. 148 00:07:23,862 --> 00:07:28,450 Once this energy is given life, everything you know will have to change. 149 00:07:28,450 --> 00:07:31,786 ‐ Cool, cool. Very chill note to end on. 150 00:07:36,583 --> 00:07:38,209 ‐ Wanna know when you're gonna die? 151 00:07:38,209 --> 00:07:40,795 ‐ Oh, um, no thank you. ‐ Okay. 152 00:07:43,298 --> 00:07:46,134 ‐ Oh, hey, Celeste. Sorry, I was just gonna get a glass of water. 153 00:07:46,593 --> 00:07:48,929 ‐ Jules, the pH water's in the fridge. 154 00:07:49,512 --> 00:07:52,140 So... how's your retreat? 155 00:07:52,140 --> 00:07:54,351 Are you loving the experience of being here? 156 00:07:54,351 --> 00:07:56,269 Are you thriving? ‐ Oh, yeah. 157 00:07:56,269 --> 00:07:57,896 Um... absolutely. 158 00:07:59,105 --> 00:08:02,359 My experience has been the thriviest. 159 00:08:02,359 --> 00:08:05,528 ‐ Jules, I know you don't normally join us. 160 00:08:05,528 --> 00:08:08,031 Is it the other girls. Are you feeling excluded? 161 00:08:08,031 --> 00:08:09,908 ‐ No. Um, no, not at all. 162 00:08:09,908 --> 00:08:12,160 I've really liked getting closer to the girls at work. 163 00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:16,081 ‐ It is so important to have women in your life that you can rely on. 164 00:08:16,081 --> 00:08:19,000 ‐ Yeah, I've definitely learned that lately. 165 00:08:19,709 --> 00:08:22,837 I actually went through a breakup earlier this year. 166 00:08:22,837 --> 00:08:24,798 Um, I was dating Ramona Hess's brother? 167 00:08:24,798 --> 00:08:27,884 ‐ Oh, I love Ramona. She's getting married this spring. 168 00:08:27,884 --> 00:08:30,011 ‐ Yeah. Actually she was the one 169 00:08:30,011 --> 00:08:32,514 who recommended me when I first got my job at Woom. 170 00:08:32,514 --> 00:08:35,183 ‐ Well, I'm sorry to hear about your breakup, 171 00:08:35,183 --> 00:08:37,978 but it's really important for you to focus on your career right now. 172 00:08:37,978 --> 00:08:41,231 Relationships are hard, especially for strong women. 173 00:08:41,940 --> 00:08:45,277 [sighs] I'd be lying if I said that Woom hadn't gotten in the way of my marriage. 174 00:08:45,277 --> 00:08:49,447 ‐ Oh, yeah, you're... you're married. I don't think I've ever met your husband. 175 00:08:49,447 --> 00:08:51,616 ‐ He's allergic to the limelight, that one. 176 00:08:51,616 --> 00:08:54,119 He mostly hides out here to be close to the hospital 177 00:08:54,119 --> 00:08:56,788 and I stay at our penthouse to be near work. 178 00:08:56,788 --> 00:08:58,582 I mean, it isn't perfect. 179 00:08:58,582 --> 00:09:02,335 He wanted kids, but Woom is my baby, so... 180 00:09:03,336 --> 00:09:04,671 I will say this, though: 181 00:09:04,671 --> 00:09:07,924 if someone is your person, you will find a way to make things work. 182 00:09:07,924 --> 00:09:09,801 That's what Colin and I have done. 183 00:09:11,303 --> 00:09:13,430 ‐ Someone talking about me? 184 00:09:13,430 --> 00:09:14,764 CELESTE: Were you eavesdropping? 185 00:09:15,348 --> 00:09:17,559 I didn't say anything bad that wasn't true. 186 00:09:17,559 --> 00:09:20,770 ‐ Just grabbing a beer. I know, I know, no boys allowed. 187 00:09:21,605 --> 00:09:24,733 Whoa! Thank you. Quite an arm on that one. 188 00:09:24,733 --> 00:09:26,401 When are you going to finally take my suggestion 189 00:09:26,401 --> 00:09:28,361 and start that company softball team? 190 00:09:28,361 --> 00:09:30,363 ‐ Don't start with the softball team again. 191 00:09:30,363 --> 00:09:31,865 ‐ Fine, fine, I get it. 192 00:09:31,865 --> 00:09:35,660 You don't want my male energy interrupting the sacred space of femininity. 193 00:09:42,042 --> 00:09:45,212 ‐ Oh, Jules. You look sick. 194 00:09:45,212 --> 00:09:48,256 ‐ No, I'm, um‐‐ Excuse me. 195 00:09:58,016 --> 00:09:59,809 [vomiting, coughing] 196 00:10:02,103 --> 00:10:03,438 ‐ Poor Jules. 197 00:10:04,481 --> 00:10:06,399 ‐ Oh, God, I can't believe this is happening. 198 00:10:06,399 --> 00:10:08,526 ‐ I know. It's unbelievable. 199 00:10:09,611 --> 00:10:12,989 ‐ Wait. You know? ‐ Yes. It's what Imelda said. 200 00:10:12,989 --> 00:10:16,201 The life force growing inside of you, the puking, 201 00:10:16,201 --> 00:10:18,411 your recent rampant casual sex. 202 00:10:18,411 --> 00:10:19,955 ‐ "Rampant" is a strong word. 203 00:10:19,955 --> 00:10:22,582 ‐ It's obvious you're pregnant. 204 00:10:22,582 --> 00:10:24,084 I do hope it's a girl. 205 00:10:24,084 --> 00:10:26,878 ‐ Well, I hope it's a nothing because that's crazy. 206 00:10:26,878 --> 00:10:28,755 I mean, I don't feel sick because some woman 207 00:10:28,755 --> 00:10:30,715 who makes her own deodorant thinks I'm pregnant. 208 00:10:30,715 --> 00:10:33,635 I feel sick because I was in the kitchen with Celeste and I saw... 209 00:10:34,135 --> 00:10:37,222 Um... It doesn't matter. Uh... 210 00:10:37,222 --> 00:10:39,307 I just don't feel good. 211 00:10:40,016 --> 00:10:43,728 ‐ You know what's not an effective form of birth control, Jules? 212 00:10:43,728 --> 00:10:45,063 Denial. 213 00:10:45,063 --> 00:10:47,983 This girl I went to college with, Ashley Zamora, 214 00:10:47,983 --> 00:10:50,777 started gaining all this weight sophomore winter 215 00:10:50,777 --> 00:10:55,115 and everyone was like, "Oh, don't worry, it's just the stress of finals," 216 00:10:55,115 --> 00:10:58,535 and then one night she had really bad stomach cramps... 217 00:10:58,535 --> 00:11:02,247 [snaps fingers] had a surprise baby at the Sigma Nu Spaghetti Dinner. 218 00:11:02,247 --> 00:11:04,791 ‐ Fine, I'll... take a test, 219 00:11:04,791 --> 00:11:08,336 but "something growing inside me that needs to come out" 220 00:11:08,336 --> 00:11:09,713 might not be a baby. 221 00:11:09,713 --> 00:11:11,506 It might be a piece of information 222 00:11:11,506 --> 00:11:13,592 that you really, really, really need to tell someone, 223 00:11:13,592 --> 00:11:16,928 but you have no idea how because it could ruin her entire life. 224 00:11:16,928 --> 00:11:20,223 ‐ "Ruin." That could be a really pretty girl's name. 225 00:11:20,223 --> 00:11:22,517 ‐ You know what, I'm gonna go home early. 226 00:11:25,228 --> 00:11:28,648 ‐ You could spell it with two O's. That is so cute. 227 00:11:32,319 --> 00:11:33,820 ‐ Two minutes. 228 00:11:36,239 --> 00:11:37,824 Two minutes. 229 00:11:38,116 --> 00:11:40,660 That's not long. How long has it been? 230 00:11:41,453 --> 00:11:43,455 Fourteen seconds? Are you fucking kidding me? 231 00:11:44,331 --> 00:11:47,125 Okay, calm down. [clears throat] Calm down. 232 00:11:47,125 --> 00:11:50,587 You feel sick because of Colin. You are not pregnant. 233 00:11:50,587 --> 00:11:52,005 You're on birth control. 234 00:11:52,005 --> 00:11:55,884 This test has no purpose other than to give you peace of mind. 235 00:11:55,884 --> 00:11:56,885 Like vitamins. 236 00:11:58,929 --> 00:12:00,055 ‐ [timer beeps] ‐ [whimpers] 237 00:12:06,937 --> 00:12:08,605 [sighs] Oh, thank God. 238 00:12:09,689 --> 00:12:12,400 This is officially the most beautiful thing I've ever peed on. 239 00:12:14,319 --> 00:12:16,071 ‐ Hey! ‐ Aaah. 240 00:12:16,071 --> 00:12:18,949 Madison, what are you doing here? 241 00:12:20,242 --> 00:12:23,370 ‐ Well, Izzy said you came home sick and said I should check to see 242 00:12:23,370 --> 00:12:25,914 if you gave any more thought to her spaghetti dinner story? 243 00:12:25,914 --> 00:12:27,082 What's going on? 244 00:12:27,082 --> 00:12:28,416 ‐ Oh, it's nothing. 245 00:12:32,546 --> 00:12:34,047 ‐ Oh, my God, are you pregnant? 246 00:12:34,047 --> 00:12:36,383 ‐ What? Uh, no, no. 247 00:12:37,300 --> 00:12:39,261 ‐ Well then what's wrong, something else? 248 00:12:39,261 --> 00:12:41,596 ‐ No, no, no. No, no, no. It's definitely not something else. 249 00:12:41,596 --> 00:12:43,056 MADISON: Jules! ‐ Uh... 250 00:12:43,056 --> 00:12:45,725 So it has to be the first thing. 251 00:12:47,978 --> 00:12:50,438 ‐ Oh, oh, my God. Come here. 252 00:12:51,314 --> 00:12:53,024 Oh, my God. 253 00:12:54,067 --> 00:12:56,319 Wait. Wait, how did that happen, don't you have an IUD? 254 00:12:57,571 --> 00:13:02,242 Yeah, but, uh, I think the doctor put it in backwards or something? 255 00:13:02,242 --> 00:13:04,077 She's a lefty, so... 256 00:13:04,077 --> 00:13:07,581 ‐ Well, look, whatever you decide, I'm here for you, okay? 257 00:13:07,581 --> 00:13:09,207 God, you must be freaking out. 258 00:13:09,207 --> 00:13:10,584 ‐ Yeah, I definitely am. 259 00:13:10,584 --> 00:13:14,629 I mean, I feel like out of nowhere today I got saddled with this... 260 00:13:14,629 --> 00:13:17,173 situation that I didn't ask for 261 00:13:17,173 --> 00:13:19,676 and I feel completely unprepared for how to handle. 262 00:13:19,676 --> 00:13:21,928 ‐ Well, just remember: you have options. 263 00:13:21,928 --> 00:13:23,930 ‐ It doesn't feel like I do. 264 00:13:23,930 --> 00:13:27,350 ‐ Jules, it's 2019. You have a choice. 265 00:13:27,350 --> 00:13:31,813 But, if you really feel that way, look, I know you'll be able to handle it. 266 00:13:31,813 --> 00:13:33,231 You'd be a great mom. 267 00:13:33,231 --> 00:13:34,816 ‐ Ha, what makes you say that? 268 00:13:35,650 --> 00:13:37,444 ‐ You're a great friend. 269 00:13:39,279 --> 00:13:40,280 [sighs] 270 00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:41,615 Morning sickness? 271 00:13:41,615 --> 00:13:42,657 ‐ Something like that. 272 00:13:42,657 --> 00:13:44,951 [ringtone chiming] 273 00:13:45,869 --> 00:13:47,370 ‐ Hey, Stell. 274 00:13:47,370 --> 00:13:51,708 ‐ You guys, I'm at USC. And I'm celebrating! 275 00:13:51,708 --> 00:13:53,251 ‐ Oh, my God. Did you hear about business school? 276 00:13:53,251 --> 00:13:55,712 ‐ Did you get in? ‐ No, I got rejected, 277 00:13:55,712 --> 00:13:58,131 but I did get accepted into doing 278 00:13:58,131 --> 00:14:01,092 whatever the fuck I want for the next two years. 279 00:14:01,092 --> 00:14:02,510 And also forever. 280 00:14:02,510 --> 00:14:05,472 ‐ Stella, I don't think campus is the best place for you right now. 281 00:14:05,472 --> 00:14:08,058 Look, I'm gonna send a Lyft to take you back to Jules's, okay? 282 00:14:08,058 --> 00:14:11,269 ‐ No, no, no, I have to stay here, I have to talk to the Dean. 283 00:14:11,269 --> 00:14:13,939 I have to face my demons. 284 00:14:14,522 --> 00:14:16,316 My dean‐a‐mons. My dean demons? 285 00:14:16,316 --> 00:14:18,360 My de... My de... [laughing] 286 00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:19,736 My deanamons. ‐ [phone beeping] 287 00:14:19,736 --> 00:14:22,239 ‐ Okay, look, I promise to help you deal with this, 288 00:14:22,239 --> 00:14:24,950 but I think we have to go get Stella, she's had way too much to drink. 289 00:14:24,950 --> 00:14:27,077 ‐ Yeah, I could use a drink myself. ‐ Jules! 290 00:14:27,077 --> 00:14:30,121 ‐ Right. Because I'm super pregnant. 291 00:14:30,121 --> 00:14:31,998 So, never mind. 292 00:14:35,835 --> 00:14:38,463 ♪ hip‐hop playing ♪ 293 00:14:38,463 --> 00:14:42,467 ‐ Oh, whatcha got there... economics? 294 00:14:42,884 --> 00:14:44,469 Supply and demand? 295 00:14:44,469 --> 00:14:48,431 More like suck a dick, am I right? ‐ Uh... hey, Stell. 296 00:14:48,431 --> 00:14:52,269 ‐ I'm just telling these children to get all the knowledge they can 297 00:14:52,269 --> 00:14:54,437 because they might not be able to come back. 298 00:14:54,437 --> 00:14:57,232 I guess they don't teach you to listen in college these days. 299 00:14:57,232 --> 00:14:58,400 [hisses] MADISON: Okay, okay. 300 00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:01,027 Let's leave Gen Z alone for a minute. Let's sit down. 301 00:15:01,027 --> 00:15:02,237 [Stella sighs] 302 00:15:02,237 --> 00:15:07,033 ‐ You know, I really thought that I was smart enough to get in, but I was wrong. 303 00:15:07,033 --> 00:15:08,827 ‐ Stella, this is one school. 304 00:15:08,827 --> 00:15:10,787 You still have a bunch you haven't heard back from yet. 305 00:15:10,787 --> 00:15:12,747 ‐ But this was my safety school. 306 00:15:12,747 --> 00:15:17,252 Okay? And your safety school is supposed to be like your back burner guy, 307 00:15:17,252 --> 00:15:19,838 like Scotty with the neck tattoo. 308 00:15:20,463 --> 00:15:24,718 If Scotty with the neck tattoo doesn't want to fuck you, then you're done. 309 00:15:24,718 --> 00:15:28,930 ‐ Babe! Scotty with the neck tattoo is always gonna wanna fuck you. 310 00:15:28,930 --> 00:15:31,349 His neck tattoo is of you. 311 00:15:31,349 --> 00:15:33,935 ‐ I don't wanna be on these steps anymore. I wanna go to class. 312 00:15:33,935 --> 00:15:36,396 MADISON: Okay, wait, Stella, it's nighttime, there is no class. 313 00:15:36,396 --> 00:15:39,608 Look, I can deal with this if you're too overwhelmed by, you know, everything. 314 00:15:39,608 --> 00:15:42,235 ‐ Oh, I'm fine. We just have to get her to bed. 315 00:15:42,777 --> 00:15:46,156 ‐ You're right. She's about to transition from fun drunk to sad drunk. 316 00:15:46,781 --> 00:15:47,908 [Stella sobbing] 317 00:15:47,908 --> 00:15:50,076 It's okay, Stell. It's okay, you're okay. 318 00:15:50,076 --> 00:15:53,872 ‐ I'm not good enough for business school. 319 00:15:53,872 --> 00:15:56,374 I'm just a beautiful idiot like... 320 00:15:56,583 --> 00:15:58,585 James Franco! 321 00:15:58,585 --> 00:16:01,588 ‐ You are not James Franco, Stella. 322 00:16:01,588 --> 00:16:02,881 STELLA: I am! 323 00:16:02,881 --> 00:16:06,176 I mean, everyone thinks I've not done anything with my life 324 00:16:06,176 --> 00:16:08,637 because I'm fun and I don't want to, 325 00:16:08,637 --> 00:16:13,767 but now everyone's gonna know the truth that I always knew... that I'm stupid! 326 00:16:13,767 --> 00:16:16,561 ‐ Oh, Stella, please, no one thinks that. 327 00:16:16,561 --> 00:16:18,521 ‐ No, don't gimme a hug! 328 00:16:18,521 --> 00:16:21,399 Just admit that I'm stupid or leave me alone. 329 00:16:21,399 --> 00:16:23,109 ‐ We have got to get her to bed. 330 00:16:23,109 --> 00:16:24,694 ‐ [both] Oh, no, no, no, no! 331 00:16:24,694 --> 00:16:26,905 ‐ You're holding her wrong, you have to support her head. 332 00:16:26,905 --> 00:16:29,282 ‐ Guess my maternal instincts haven't kicked in yet. 333 00:16:29,950 --> 00:16:31,910 ‐ This is why we needed to feed her. 334 00:16:31,910 --> 00:16:33,870 She's never gonna go down if she has an empty stomach. 335 00:16:33,870 --> 00:16:35,247 ‐ Fine, gimme the Taco Bell. 336 00:16:35,247 --> 00:16:38,875 ‐ I don't want Taco Bell! I wanna be a busi‐ness student. 337 00:16:38,875 --> 00:16:41,086 ‐ I know, sweetie. I know. 338 00:16:41,086 --> 00:16:44,005 Look... can you take a sip of this for me? 339 00:16:44,005 --> 00:16:46,258 Good, open up, open up. ‐ There you go. 340 00:16:48,385 --> 00:16:50,512 MADISON: Oh! She's spitting up! 341 00:16:50,512 --> 00:16:53,181 ‐ Okay. ‐ Test it first. It might be too hot. 342 00:16:53,181 --> 00:16:55,183 ‐ [Stella sighs] MADISON: It's okay, I know. 343 00:16:55,183 --> 00:16:56,518 ‐ No, it's mild. ‐ [Stella sobs] 344 00:16:56,518 --> 00:16:58,061 MADISON: Okay, here you go, Stella. 345 00:16:58,061 --> 00:17:00,522 ‐ Oh, thank God she's finally settling. ‐ Okay. 346 00:17:00,522 --> 00:17:03,733 ‐ I wanted a Cheesy Gordita Crunch! ‐ [both] No, Stella, bad! 347 00:17:03,733 --> 00:17:05,902 ‐ Bad, Stella, no! ‐ Stella, that's very bad! 348 00:17:05,902 --> 00:17:08,196 ‐ Okay, you know, it is time to go to bed. ‐ No! 349 00:17:08,196 --> 00:17:10,073 ‐ I will read you memes until you fall asleep. 350 00:17:10,073 --> 00:17:12,284 [whispering] She's gonna be a nightmare tomorrow. 351 00:17:21,668 --> 00:17:22,752 [sighs] 352 00:17:23,628 --> 00:17:25,130 [power switch clangs] 353 00:17:25,130 --> 00:17:27,299 [metallic rattling] 354 00:17:30,218 --> 00:17:32,554 ‐ What's happening? 355 00:17:32,554 --> 00:17:33,930 ‐ [cart creaking] ‐ Just breathe. 356 00:17:33,930 --> 00:17:36,308 You're going to be fine. It's just a tiny secret 357 00:17:36,308 --> 00:17:39,394 that will destroy a relationship and a marriage. 358 00:17:39,394 --> 00:17:42,105 ‐ Oh, I can't tell her. It's gonna be too painful. 359 00:17:42,105 --> 00:17:44,190 ‐ It's gonna come out, one way or the other. 360 00:17:44,190 --> 00:17:45,817 ‐ But I'm not ready yet. 361 00:17:45,817 --> 00:17:49,279 ‐ Jules, you have to push, okay? Push. 362 00:17:51,615 --> 00:17:53,992 ‐ Ruin! As in you're gonna ruin Madison's life. 363 00:17:57,579 --> 00:18:00,749 ‐ Please, I don't wanna do this. I'm scared. 364 00:18:00,749 --> 00:18:03,209 ‐ Now, now, it's gonna be okay. 365 00:18:10,175 --> 00:18:12,177 ‐ No! 366 00:18:12,177 --> 00:18:13,220 ‐ Are you okay? 367 00:18:13,220 --> 00:18:15,430 You're gonna wake up Stella. I just got her down. 368 00:18:20,310 --> 00:18:23,063 Wait... Wait, this is negative. 369 00:18:23,063 --> 00:18:25,148 ‐ Oh... It is? 370 00:18:25,148 --> 00:18:27,692 ‐ Yeah. You're not pregnant. 371 00:18:28,235 --> 00:18:29,444 Okay, what is going on? 372 00:18:29,444 --> 00:18:32,364 ‐ Uh, I... must have read it wrong. 373 00:18:32,364 --> 00:18:35,283 ‐ [stammering] What, you read it wrong? It says "not pregnant." 374 00:18:35,283 --> 00:18:38,954 ‐ Um... You know, it's getting so late. 375 00:18:38,954 --> 00:18:40,830 ‐ Jules, we're not gonna not talk about this. 376 00:18:40,830 --> 00:18:43,541 ‐ It's nothing. ‐ No, you lied about being pregnant all night. 377 00:18:43,541 --> 00:18:46,419 It's obviously something. What is going on? Tell me. 378 00:18:46,419 --> 00:18:47,796 ‐ I can't. ‐ Jules! 379 00:18:47,796 --> 00:18:50,131 ‐ Colin's married! 380 00:18:50,131 --> 00:18:51,675 ‐ Yeah, I know that. 381 00:18:51,675 --> 00:18:52,842 He's separated. 382 00:18:52,842 --> 00:18:55,554 ‐ No... he's still married. 383 00:18:56,555 --> 00:18:57,681 To Celeste. 384 00:18:58,890 --> 00:19:01,309 ‐ Celeste? Like... 385 00:19:01,309 --> 00:19:02,727 Like your boss? 386 00:19:03,562 --> 00:19:06,189 Wait, no! No, no, no! [stammering] I've always said 387 00:19:06,189 --> 00:19:08,775 I didn't wanna know who his ex‐wife was. 388 00:19:08,775 --> 00:19:10,443 It was my decision not to know. 389 00:19:10,443 --> 00:19:13,822 ‐ This is what I'm trying to tell you. They're not getting a divorce. 390 00:19:13,822 --> 00:19:16,533 They're not even separated. ‐ No, that's impossible. 391 00:19:16,533 --> 00:19:19,369 ‐ I know it's crazy, but he doesn't come with her to any events, 392 00:19:19,369 --> 00:19:21,079 and they have a second place downtown where‐‐ 393 00:19:21,079 --> 00:19:23,623 ‐ She's obviously lying. ‐ I don't think so. 394 00:19:23,623 --> 00:19:24,916 ‐ Jules, she's lying. 395 00:19:24,916 --> 00:19:27,294 She's ashamed that he left her, so she's lying. 396 00:19:27,294 --> 00:19:30,255 ‐ Madison, I saw him at the beach house. 397 00:19:30,255 --> 00:19:33,091 ‐ Just stop! Look, I have no idea why you're doing this. 398 00:19:33,091 --> 00:19:34,384 What is wrong with you? 399 00:19:34,384 --> 00:19:35,802 ‐ What's wrong with me? 400 00:19:35,802 --> 00:19:38,805 This has nothing to do with me. I'm trying to tell you the truth. 401 00:19:38,805 --> 00:19:42,309 ‐ Oh, the truth. Like your fake fucking baby you've had all night? 402 00:19:42,309 --> 00:19:45,353 ‐ Look, I know how heartbroken you must be right now. 403 00:19:45,353 --> 00:19:47,898 ‐ Oh, yeah, and you'd be the expert on that, wouldn't you? 404 00:19:47,898 --> 00:19:50,233 Considering Jeremy dumped you, which is the only reason 405 00:19:50,233 --> 00:19:52,527 you started hanging out with me again in the first place. 406 00:19:52,527 --> 00:19:55,113 ‐ Madison, please don't lash out at me because I'm trying to follow the rules 407 00:19:55,113 --> 00:19:57,866 of whatever girl code you're constantly telling me about. 408 00:19:57,866 --> 00:20:00,410 I'm just trying to do what you're supposed to do in this situation. 409 00:20:00,410 --> 00:20:03,121 I mean, do you think this was easy for me? 410 00:20:03,121 --> 00:20:06,499 ‐ Oh, I'm sorry all these rules were such a burden for you, Jules. 411 00:20:06,499 --> 00:20:08,752 How dare I try to help you make connections with people 412 00:20:08,752 --> 00:20:10,545 instead of sitting at home! 413 00:20:10,545 --> 00:20:14,174 You know what? Consider yourself officially off the hook. 414 00:20:14,174 --> 00:20:17,427 JULES: I'm not trying to be off the hook, but you make it so hard sometimes. 415 00:20:17,427 --> 00:20:21,223 I'm just... I'm just... You're trying to push me away right now. 416 00:20:21,223 --> 00:20:24,643 ‐ You know, you're right. You know, maybe this is too hard. 417 00:20:25,477 --> 00:20:28,563 Maybe we should both stop trying to make you into something you are never going to be. 418 00:20:28,563 --> 00:20:30,232 ‐ Oh, what's that? 419 00:20:31,775 --> 00:20:32,943 ‐ A real friend. 420 00:20:37,572 --> 00:20:39,741 ♪ Rihanna playing "Stay" ♪ 421 00:20:39,741 --> 00:20:42,744 [door opens, closes] 422 00:20:45,163 --> 00:20:49,376 ♪ Not really sure how to feel about it ♪ 423 00:20:49,376 --> 00:20:53,380 ♪ Something in the way you move ♪ 424 00:20:55,632 --> 00:21:00,262 ♪ Makes me feel like I can't live without you and ♪ 425 00:21:01,263 --> 00:21:03,807 ♪ Takes me all the way ♪ 426 00:21:03,807 --> 00:21:06,810 ♪ I want you to stay ♪ 427 00:21:09,896 --> 00:21:12,816 ♪ Won't you stay? ♪ 428 00:21:14,484 --> 00:21:17,904 ♪ Round ♪ 429 00:21:17,904 --> 00:21:19,906 ♪ And around and around ♪ 430 00:21:19,906 --> 00:21:21,825 ♪ And around we go ♪ 431 00:21:24,911 --> 00:21:27,414 ♪ On now, tell me now ♪ 432 00:21:27,414 --> 00:21:28,415 ♪ Tell me now ♪ 433 00:21:28,415 --> 00:21:31,042 ♪ Tell me now you know ♪ 434 00:21:34,421 --> 00:21:39,843 ♪ Whoo‐ooh‐ooh ♪ 435 00:21:40,844 --> 00:21:42,929 ♪ Reason I hold on... ♪